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Prospecting on Purpose is Forbes meets Saturday Night Live - it’s *the* show for everything prospecting, sales, business, and mindset.
As business grows more complex, the biggest opportunities emerge when we learn beyond our own industries. From hospitality and design to technology and travel, this is where professionals come together to exchange ideas, uncover new perspectives, and prospect for business with creativity, authenticity, and intention.
Hosted by Sara Murray, a heart-centric sales champion, each episode helps you raise both your vibes and your game. Sara's playbook is simple - ABAV: Always Be Adding Value. Embrace your authentic self, lean into your unique strengths, and sell the outcome instead of the product or service.
Join Sara each week as she sits down with world-class thought leaders to unpack today's business strategies, mindset shifts, and relationship-driven approaches to growth, giving you practical ideas you can put into action right away.
Connect with Sara: www.saramurray.com IG: @saramurraysales LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/saramurraysales/
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
Melissa Maher is an executive
leadership advisor, strategic
consultant, speaker, and the CEO and
founder of Pinnacle Enterprises Group.
A former Chief Marketing Officer at
Expedia Group, she spent two decades in
senior roles leading global teams, driving
negotiations and shaping strategies that
influence the travel industry worldwide.
She creates proprietary leadership
programs and advises senior
executives, startups, and hospitality
brands to strengthen presence,
communication, and influence.
I am thrilled to have her on the show as
we discuss her new bestselling business
book, Holding Your Own: Speaking, Acting,
and Winning in the Business World.
Melissa, welcome to
Prospecting on Purpose.
Melissa Maher: I'm so glad to be here.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
I am so happy to have you.
I feel so honored that I get to
interview the person who wrote
the book, and it's just so cool
that that's been part of my job.
And if you can see on the video,
I have bookmarked this entire book
because there were so many really
strong takeaways and I cannot wait
to dive into it for the audience.
So before we start, I would love
a quick just definition of what
does executive presence mean
in the modern business world?
Melissa Maher: Absolutely.
Executive presence isâ¦
a term that people throw around a lot.
And so when I started researching
and studying executive presence, I
came up with a definition that is,
it's the ability to project gravitas,
confidence, poise under pressure, and
decisiveness, as well as the ability
to communicate clearly and with warmth.
So that's kind of a lot in that
definition, but I feel like it's
a really good definition that sums
up what executive presence is.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
Yeah, and we'll dive into
some of those elements too.
Right at the beginning of this
conversation, let's dispel some myths too,
because I feel like when people hear the
term executive presence, they have their
own opinion or vision of what that is.
What are some of the common
myths you see in your work?
Melissa Maher: The most common are
that you have to be loud to have
executive presence, or you have to
be cocky to have executive presence.
And that is not what
executive presence is.
It is really that calm under pressure,
that decisiveness, that warmth.
So a lot of people think introverts
can't have executive presence.
I ntroverts are the exact definition
of having executive presence.
So you don't have to be loud,
you don't have to be charismatic,
you don't have to be braggy.
Really, just think about that
calm, that poise, that gravitas.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
Yeah, and I would love, let's double
click on gravitas a little bit because
I would love for people who don't know
what that word is or really how to embody
it, how would you describe gravitas?
Melissa Maher: When I think about
gravitas, I think about confidence.
I think about poise.
I love the word poise for some reason.
as I mentioned, decisiveness.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Maher: Gravitas is also having
emotional intelligence and it's having
really strong communication skills.
So kind of all of that bundled
together is what I would, what
I would classify gravitas as.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
And what are some practical steps that
people can take if maybe they're weak
on decisiveness or maybe communication's
a pain point, like what are some of
the areas you see that people could
do right after listening to this
episode to increase their gravitas?
Melissa Maher: One of the most
important is being prepared.
If you go into a meeting, if
you're not prepared, you are
not going to seem confident.
You're not gonna feel confident.
So really thinking about those high-stake
conversations and really doing your
homework and getting prepared, and also,
again, thinking about high-stake moments.
Really thinking about what are the
objections that people will have.
Let's say you are pitching
something, so thinking about
anticipating their objections before
they even come up, because that
will show that you're prepared.
And when those objections come up, you
are a lot more calm and confident because
you've already thought about those.
I also tell people know the three
things that you want to get across
in a meeting as you walk in the
meeting, think about those in advance.
And then I always think about really super
practical things and the power of a pause.
That can really help strengthen your
own confidence and really strengthen
the person that's sitting across
from you, their confidence in you.
So people, people get really nervous
about the pause, but it's really
important, particularly when you're
answering difficult questions.
And then, kind of on those same
lines, also think about the pace.
When I think about executive
presence, I think about.
Really strong news anchors, and
I talk a lot about Lester Holt.
He has the pace down.
When people lower their pace by 10 or
15%, they just automatically command
attention, can command respect.
So those are some simple but practical
things that people can think about
when they're thinking about confidence
and executive presence and gravitas.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
Being prepared, having the objections
thought out ahead of time, understanding
what three top priorities you
want to get out of the meeting,
and then controlling your pacing.
Melissa Maher: And really
controlling your overall body.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose: Hmm.
Melissa Maher: When you think
about communication, about 55%
of communication is our facial
expressions and our body language.
So if we can control our body language,
then that really helps make us feel more
confident and come off more confident.
So thinking, you know, when you're going
to do a presentation, planting your feet
down, even if you're on Zoom, planting
your feet down because that makes you
feel more grounded and really using
your body to help with that confidence.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose: You
know, one time I was in a meeting with a
lot of peers and it was a seated meeting.
It wasn't a presentation, but, it wasn't
super high-stakes, but there were some
heavy hitters in the room, and I had
leaned back in my chair and was just.
Like present in the meeting.
And later I had two different
team members pull me aside and
said, you seem so confident, just
relaxed in their conference room.
And it was interesting feedback because
now sometimes I'll find myself like tense
in a room and I'm like, you know, just sit
back a little, like strain your shoulders.
It's okay.
But it, it does take practice.
And I think that's one of the things
that really resonated with me reading
your book, but also your work is.
You talk about influence and leadership,
communication, like, confidence.
These are learned skills and people
bucket them in these like soft skills.
They don't come naturally
to a lot of people.
They take continuous work, and I
think that's what's so important
about the work that you do.
Melissa Maher: Aw, thank you.
It's really why I wrote the book because
if, if I think about those skills.
I call them critical skills.
They're not skills that
you learn on the job.
Your boss never pulls you aside and
says, let me tell you how to advocate
for yourself, or how to drive your
influence or your personal brand.
So you, you just learn those things
through whatever resources you can get.
But normally it's not on the job.
So that's why I wrote the book,
because those skills are so critical.
And you think about executive
presence, there's a study that was
out that says 67% of executives say
that executive presence is important
when they're promoting someone.
So looking at executive presence,
they're not looking at their,
you know, technical skills.
So those skills are really important
and, and help us get promoted, help
us influence, all those important
things while we're on the job.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
I think that's what I really enjoyed
about your book too, is you, because
of your background, you are uniquely
qualified with a lot of your billion
dollar negotiations with global companies.
I mean, she is a very humble
leader, listeners, because I feel
like when you read her book, you
can just feel how high-stakes
some of these negotiations are.
But then in the next chapter,
she's teaching you how to write
an email that communicates clearly
and gets your point across.
So there's a lot of like really meaty
tactical elements in the book, and I
think that's one of the reasons why it
hit bestseller status because people
are realizing, wait a second, I can
flip to a chapter and immediately
increase my executive presence.
So kudos to you because I
just got so much out of it.
I would like to talk a little bit,
you mentioned personal branding.
And you had a line that it's
not a nice-to-have anymore.
It's a strategic necessity.
Can you speak a little
bit more to that please?
Melissa Maher: You know, a lot of
times people think that personal
branding is bragging or it's being
aggressive, and it's really not.
I say it's a strategic necessity
because it's really about
your professional positioning.
Today's environment, you
know, it's very fast-paced.
It's very competitive, and hard work
alone doesn't really get you there.
It's really not enough.
So decisions about promotions
and stretch assignments and
high visibility opportunities.
Are being discussed most of the
time when you're not in the room.
So you wanna have that strong
personal brand so that when you're
not in that room, other people
are talking positively about you.
And when you think about
personal branding, you really
want to own your own narrative.
You don't want someone
else to own it for you.
You really want to create that narrative.
And when you create that narrative
and you have those words that
you use to describe yourself.
Other people will start
using those same words.
So you're really putting yourself in your
own destiny by describing your narrative.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
Okay.
I love how you unpacked that because
that to me is a very strategic approach
to it and I work with a lot of men
in my work, and we do have a section
on personal branding as it speaks to
confidence, because you wanna approach
a decision maker and you wanna make sure
you're adding value to that decision
maker, but I love that you brought it
full circle with the visibility impacting
both the internal stakeholders that
you have to influence and the external.
What are some tips that you
could share for if people wanna
increase their visibility?
what are some of the
tactics you would give us?
Melissa Maher: People get nervous
when they think about increasing their
visibility or putting themselves out
there, but it really is important
because the more visible you are,
the more opportunities that you
get, the more your network expands.
So you really do need to think about
ways, and I tell people to start small.
You know, if you want to do a
speaking engagement, well start by
giving a toast at a cocktail party.
So really start small to
build your confidence.
Speaking engagements are a phenomenal
way to build your visibility.
And again, start small.
Host a small round table before you get on
stage in front of a couple hundred people.
And post on LinkedIn.
Most people are really nervous to
put themselves out on LinkedIn.
But if you have a position on a thought
leader topic, put yourself out there.
Stretch assignments are a great
way, particularly if you're
younger in your career, to get that
visibility to meet your network.
and networking is also a really
good way to build your visibility
and build your network because
if you have a strong network, you
are gonna have more opportunities.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
I love that.
You had also shared an example of
volunteering to present on a team meeting.
There are a couple of meetings that I
run with my clients and if any one of
them were to come to me and say, Hey.
I wanna present this tip that I
learned at a training we did last week.
Like, I would be thrilled.
So I like that you give these examples of,
you don't need to go deliver a keynote,
but maybe you share an update on a
company town hall or volunteer to present.
There's just so many good little
tips to help build these muscles.
Melissa Maher: It's really interesting.
One of the things that I find is
super easy to create visibility isâ¦
If you're on a town hall,
for example, ask a question.
If you're on a town hall and you ask a
question, start by introducing yourself.
Because everyone in the room
may not know you, or everyone
on the zoom may not know you.
So it's an easy way to drive
visibility, introduce yourself,
and then ask the question.
So just simple tips like that, I
have throughout the book, of ways to,
you know, increase your visibility.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
I love that and I really
appreciated that it's not about
being braggy like you talked about.
It's not about, look at me,
look at me, because that's not
executive leadership, but it's.
Here's who I am and what
my point of view is.
Say my name when I'm not in the room.
And you had a, you have so many
different chapters on different
topics that would be helpful.
I made a joke before we started recording
that this could be a 10 episode miniseries
at this point, because there's like
stakeholders and negotiations and you
had made a comment about stakeholders
and the quote really stuck out to me.
You know, stakeholder management isn't
about influencing your boss or your
executive leaders, but it's about keeping
everyone else from blocking your progress.
And there's so many layers to that.
So I thought that was really clever.
Do you wanna speak to stakeholder
management a little bit?
Melissa Maher: Stakeholder
management is one of those skills
that people kind of forget about.
People think about managing up.
When I think about stakeholder management,
it's really managing up, managing across
and managing down, and it really is
keeping people informed and in the loop
to help you succeed and get things done.
Whatever you need to get done, and it can
be just about updating stakeholders, it
can be as easy as no update this week.
But once people see, you
know, no update is an update.
So really thinking about those
stakeholders and thinking about
how you can keep them informed, how
you can get them on your side, and
really managing those stakeholders.
And I think one of the important things
with stakeholders is: communicate with
stakeholders the way that they wanna
be communicated to, particularly as
you go up and as you go higher up.
For example, CEOs use less words.
People on your team underneath
you, you might want to use more
words or be more personable.
So really adjusting and mirroring
your communication in the
stakeholder environment is important.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
Well, there's a couple
threads I wanna pull there.
The first is, you know, you're
talking about going laterally
or across different teams.
That's gonna help your visibility too,
because they're gonna realize, ooh,
this is someone who really communicates.
This is someone who's proactive.
But then you also talk about flexing to
the communication style of the person
you're trying to communicate with.
And you know, my background's sales,
a lot of the conversations around
this podcast are sales-focused.
That is such a crucial point that so many
people forget and they'll send really
long emails that people just delete.
Or there's a couple of things that you
list in the book that decrease your
executive presence, and one of them was
rambling, and that's something I've been
seeing and I'm guilty of it too, but I've
been on the receiving end of a rambler.
And it's painful.
You have to really focus to try to listen
to what do you need from me right now?
What's the point you're trying to get?
So if someone's listening and maybe
they're guilty of being a rambler,
what advice would you have for
them to get to the point quicker.
Melissa Maher: My advice
would be: use the headline.
In the first two sentences,
g et out there what you want.
And really cut the filler, cut stuff
that people don't need to know.
You know, a lot of times people
over explain and they give so
much detail in the background,
and that's when people zone out.
So really think about your audience
and what do they need to know and
what is that headline, in the first
sentence, or the first two sentences,
that you wanna get out there?
And, you know, people have
very short attention spans and
people these days are skimmers.
If we open two emails and one is a ton
of paragraphs and long and long, and
the other is very short and concise,
the short and concise one is gonna be
the one that most people will read and
they will take, you know, action too.
So really thinking in advance of what
you wanna get across is important.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
Well, it's funny we're talking about
stakeholder management and not letting
people, you know, block our progress.
We're blocking our own progress in
that sense because we're sending
these long emails that people don't
understand what's required from
them, so they just don't respond.
And it probably dings
your executive presence.
Melissa Maher: One other tip that, that
I do, and it's kind of dorky at times,
but for email purposes, I will read
emails out loud before I send them, and.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
That's a good tip.
Melissa Maher: I always tell people,
you know, act like an attorney.
Attorney will say, if you can
say it in five words versus 15
words, say it in five words.
Sales and marketing and communications
people, we like a lot of words,
but really when you wanna get clear
communication, think like a lawyer and
cut down as many words as you can, and
reading out loud absolutely helps that.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
I love that.
That's a good tip.
The other, thing that resonated that I see
a lot and I am guilty of is apologizing.
T he, I'm sorry, storm that is in
every conversation every day now.
Can you give us some tips
if people are, apologizers?
Melissa Maher: Yeah, so it's funny,
we are just, by human nature,
we're inclined to apologize.
We're inclined to say, I'm
sorry, and sometimes we're just
doing it because we're nice.
But when you say I'm
sorry all the time, it.
Diminishes your presence.
It diminishes the confidence
that other people have in you.
So really just think about
small ways to reframe.
You can say, you know, I'd
like to reschedule the meeting.
You don't start by saying, I'm
sorry, I have to reschedule.
So just small language adjustments
or something as simple as, say.
Apologies versus I'm sorry, and you
know, just reframing some of those
words really, really helps with that.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
I was at a grocery store the other day
and it was, it was Christmas time and
it was packed and everyone's in this
aisle and we're all apologizing to each
other and no one's doing anything wrong.
Melissa Maher: Right?
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
We're just standing near each other
and saying, sorry, sorry, sorry.
It's like, time out, people.
Like?
And so I appreciate that you're
leading the charge on this.
I'll be part of the spreading the gospel.
Like we only apologize if
we truly have something to.
Be apologetic for, but otherwise we can
remove the sorrys from our vocabulary.
Melissa Maher: Absolutely.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
So I, I appreciate those tips too.
One of the other things that I wanted to
ask you about was executive presence over
Zoom calls and doing a meeting in person.
So we have obviously the body
language, piece, the, the tips you
shared at the top of the interview.
But more and more meetings are
conducted on Zoom, and I think there's.
Some areas where people struggle
with showing that presence and
confidence digitally or virtually.
What advice would you have for us there?
Melissa Maher: I think sometimes
meeting over Zoom is actually, it's
more important to focus on your
executive presence because it's easy
for us to forget to sit tall, you
know, we're in our own environment.
We relax more, when we roll
our eyes, people can see it.
So, tips would be, make sure
you have your camera on.
That, that sounds so obvious, but
when someone doesn't have their camera
on, the other people in the meeting,
almost forget that they're there.
So camera on, get to the meeting
on time or early and really make
sure that your presence is known.
So when you're on Zoom, also think about.
Asking questions.
Almost go a little bit overboard in
your involvement in the meeting and
really watch your body language.
Watch your facial expressions.
As I said, we tend to be a bit
more relaxed when we're on our
own home environment or we're on
the road, we're in a hotel room.
So really just think about your body
language, your presence, have eye contact.
It's hard to have eye contact on Zoom,
but really think about that eye contact.
And just think about, you
know, all of your surroundings.
Do you have good lighting?
If you have clutter in the
background, people are gonna focus
on the clutter in the background.
I was on a Zoom call during the
pandemic and this is when I was still
at Expedia, our CFO was doing a call
from his bedroom and the bed was
unmade, the closet door was open, there
were suits hanging from the closet
door and sweatshirts on the ground.
And I remember thinking, wow,
he seems so unorganized just
by his background in Zoom.
Clearly he's not unorganized and he's
a very successful man, but if I didn't
know him, that would be my first
impression is he's unorganized and messy.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
Right.
When I travel and have to take a
meeting from a hotel room, I will
full on turn the desk, like I hate
seeing a bed in the background.
And you join calls and people
have got their, you know, their
chin shot or their nostril shots.
Guys, there are solutions to this.
So I'm happy you said it because I
think it's an area where, especially
as we wanna be taken more seriously,
like, I wanna prioritize my
background because that's part of what
people get when they work with me.
And I also like the tip on camera
on, because it's just respectful too.
It's not only you forget you're
there, but people assume you're
multitasking unless you're walking.
You know, we don't want the Blair Witch
project background and motion sickness.
But the the other point you made
about being vocal in the meetings,
I work with a lot of different teams
and I'm working with a team right
now and there's more of a juniorâ¦
team member, but he is so
engaged on our online calls
that I called him the other day.
I said, you are a rock star, rising star.
Your leadership skills are shining
through, and it's just because you're
chiming in, you're adding value,
you're not leaving anyone hanging.
And I think there's a lot of
different ways to influence without
authority and show our leadership
style even if we don't have a title.
And so I would love to talk about that
with you a little bit and we hit on it
with the stakeholder management, but if
somebody doesn't have a title, how can
they still be a leader and influence up?
Melissa Maher: If someone doesn't
have a title, they shouldn't
let that get in their way.
If someone doesn't have a title,
they should really focus on how
do they build their network?
How do they build their allies
and sponsors and mentors, and so.
If you're more junior, then think
about people in your organization
or in the industry that can help
you shine and grow and develop.
So really get to know people.
I always say have a posse, which is kind
of three to five people that are your
support system, but also have a Posse
Plus, which is eight to 10 people that
are kind of the next layer beyond that.
So if you're junior and you are building
that strength of Posse and Posse Plus,
that can help you build your influence
because you're expanding your network.
And so don't be afraid to
ask for a one-on-one meeting
with someone more senior.
Don't be, nervous to ask for a stretch
assignment in another team, or even
outside of the company because that
will really help with your influence
and building your personal brand and
help you if you don't have a title.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
I love that.
I love that example.
And I think the most impactful
chapter for me was your chapter on
negotiation, because I think this
is an area where there's a lot of
definitions of negotiation, but
this is an area where I think people
shrink and get really fearful and they
don't realize that we're negotiating
all the time in our everyday lives.
The chapter title was Negotiation
is Not a Battle, it's a Dance.
So let's talk a little bit about some
of the negotiation tips that you share.
Melissa Maher: I think the biggest thing
about negotiations is people think it's
negative, and so that's why I call it
a dance because it really should be
positive when you're aiming for something
that both parties get good out of it.
You never wanna go into a negotiation
and think, I wanna be the winner.
You wanna go into a negotiation
thinking, what are we solving and how
can both sides get something out of it?
And I think from a negotiation
standpoint, one of the biggest
tips that I give people is, get to
know the person on the other side.
If you're negotiating with someone,
understand what are their needs?
What are their wants?
Not just the business opportunity,
but take time to get to know them
personally, because when there's trust,
a negotiation is gonna go much better.
So a lot of times people think it
should be a battle, and we don't
wanna get to know the person.
But if you make it a dance and you get
to know the person, you get to know their
needs, their stakeholder's needs, then
it really helps with that negotiation.
And I talk about this in the book.
I remember my first negotiation overseas.
I was tired, jet lagged, just got off
the plane and was going to have dinner.
And I said to my VP at the
time, gosh, I'm so tired.
I don't wanna have dinner.
He said, no, this is part of
getting to know these clients.
Sitting down and having dinner
with them is part of their culture.
And so I did, and I remember that
moment because it was such a changer
in the negotiation because I got to
know them more personally over dinner.
So when we went into the negotiation
the next morning, it was more of
a dance and less of that battle.
So really getting to know
the people is important.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
I like that and I think when you
go in with that mindset too, you're
not just focused on yourself and
your agenda because that gives away
your power, sometimes, I've noticed.
Like if you, especially in sales,
you're trying to lead your prospect to a
closed sale, and if you go in with your
own agenda and not finding out what's
important to them, you're never gonna win.
Everything is a negotiation.
Melissa Maher: And I think if you
think about a negotiation as more
of a positive than a negative, just
that mindset alone will help too.
I also go back to one of the
tips that I say for negotiations
is prepare, prepare, prepare.
You don't want to go into a
negotiation and wing it because you
will seem like you are winging it.
So really prepare for
a negotiation as well.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
Well, Melissa, when I was
reading that chapter Iâ¦
in 2019 I lived in a fourplex in Los
Angeles and it was a rent controlled
building and we got a no fault eviction,
so nobody did anything wrong, but
there was a new owner and he was taking
it off of the rental market and you
have to give the tenants some money
because you're no fault evicting them.
And he wanted us to move out earlier and
he was gonna give us more money to move
out earlier, but we all had to agree.
And I went to my neighbors and I said,
I work with commercial contractors.
Let me negotiate on our behalf.
And I found one article about this new
law that was letting us be evicted.
And I did my research and I called my
tax guy and I wrote out a whole little
script and I did a power pose and I
put my phone on Do Not Disturb and I
called him and he had done no research.
I seemed so prepared for my one
article and my call to my tax
guy that he just folded and we
all got a lot of money to move.
And it was so funny because I
was the youngest tenant, I was
a female, and you could tell he
didn't even give me a time of day.
And I've noticed when people
underestimate you, they give
away a little bit of their power.
They expose a little bit of their side
of it, and I find it kind of fun now.
So I like the idea of looking
at it as a dance and the
ability to make it a positive.
Because his goal was
to get the tenants out.
So even though he had to pay
more money, I helped him with his
goal of getting the tenants out.
So it ended up being a
win-win for everyone.
Melissa Maher: That's great.
I love that story.
I love that.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
Well, and it was scary, but after that one
I was like, okay, I can do the next one.
So I would love to learn too:
do you have any like tips or
strategies on how to increase your
confidence outside of being prepared?
Like any fun little behind
the scenes things you do?
Melissa Maher: Well, Iâ¦
I do a lot with my body and making
sure that my body feels confident.
So before a podcast or before a
big meeting, I will get up and
stretch and do the power pose.
I also think what helps with me is
just breathing and really taking those
breaths and not just because I'm a
California girl now, but really breath
work is incredible at increasing your
confidence because it slows down your
nervous system and it really grounds you.
It makes you feel more confident.
So I'm a big believer in that.
And then things that you can do
to make yourself feel better.
I've talked a lot about being
prepared, but when you are prepared,
then you are more confident.
And when you seem more confident,
the person on the other side
actually trusts you more.
There's a lot of research in that,
so really thinking about ways that
can help you with your confidence.
We talked about the pause.
When you are nervous and you pause, you
can collect your thoughts kind of quickly.
A lot of times when people are nervous,
they talk really fast and they just wanna
get the words out and when they talk
really fast, they don't seem confident.
So that's really where I think the
power of breath and the power of
pause really helps you to collect
your thoughts and really to be more
confident in what you're saying.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
I love that.
I had a boss once I would struggle
with clients being upset at something
that I told him a year ago was
gonna happen and they didn't listen.
And then it happened and I'd
get the screaming phone call.
And one of my bosses at the time shared
with me, just focus on the facts.
You know, just state facts because
then it's harder to argue with
facts versus emotion or opinion.
And the other thing he
told me was to pause.
Because he said they'll fill in the
blanks on their own and they'll feel
your disappointment in them in the pause,
because I'm not gonna yell back at anyone.
That wasn't my style.
But the pause did help me feel able
to navigate through that conversation.
So I like that you shared that.
Melissa Maher: The, the pause is
so powerful and I think people
underestimate it and talking slow.
When you talk slow, what happens is your
brain thinks, wow, I'm talking so slow.
But the other person doesn't
think you're talking as slow
as you think you're talking.
So the pause and the pace are
really important when it comes
to feeling more confident.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
Great.
And you know, as we're wrapping up the
interview, if you were to have maybe
three main takeaways that you would
want our listeners to leave with.
What are three things that they can start
doing outside of all the tips you shared?
What are three things they could start
doing now to really increase that
confidence in their executive presence?
Melissa Maher: Ooh, that's a fun question.
I would say first: put yourself
out there and be visible because if
you put yourself out there, you are
going to get more opportunities.
You are going to get
those stretch assignments.
So really be visible
would be my first one.
My second one: elevate
your personal brand.
A lot of times people won't focus on
their personal brand until the end
of the year, or you know, a vacation.
But really, when you're enhancing
your personal brand, you're
thinking about it more regularly
and you're putting time into it.
So figure out what you wanna be known
for and really think about that all year
round, not just the last week in December.
And then thirdly, I would
say build your network.
Really think about your support system.
Really think aboutâ¦
people out there in your industry or
your company, think inside your company
and also outside of your company.
But think about people that will
lift you up, that you can go and
get introductions to other people.
I think there's so much goodness
out of having a strong network
that that's absolutely something
that people should be focusing on.
It's funny, I got a email yesterday.
From someone who will remain nameless,
and I have not talked to this
person in probably six years, and
this person reached out to me and
said, you're one of my mentors and
I wanted to get in touch with you.
I just lost my job, blah, blah, blah.
Well, don't wait six years.
Don't wait five years.
If someone is in your network and
you consider them as a valuable
person, stay in touch with them.
No, you don't have to have lunch every
week, but stay in touch with someone.
So once you've built your network, make
sure that you're working your network
and staying in touch with your network.
That was a long answer for my three.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
No, no, that was perfect.
So be visible, and I think you
did a really nice job articulating
why that's so valuable.
And then build your personal brand
because those do go hand in hand.
And I like you framed it as, what are
people saying when you're not in the room?
Are people even saying your
name when you're in the room?
If you're floated for a promotion?
And other team members say, I
don't know who that person is.
Like they go hand in
hand in a lot of ways.
But then the networking
piece is so valuable too.
And you would share it in your
stakeholder savviness, your stakeholder
management, having your inner circle,
having the sponsors, having your posse
adjacent, like building that out.
Because everything
intersects with each other.
All of the things you're saying are
little pieces to the puzzle that build
to really what your driving goal is.
And I think what I really love about
you, Melissa, is you're so intentional.
You make it look easy and flow, but you're
very intentional about where you're going.
And I think that's a lesson
we can all learn from.
Melissa Maher: Yeah, you
have to be intentional.
Intentional in building your brand,
intentional about building your
relationships, intentional about what
you want, and speaking up for yourself.
So it really is about being
intentional and kind of driving what
you want the way that you want it.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
I love it.
Well, and we now have the Bible for it.
Holding Your Own.
I was prepared for this meeting,
Melissa, because I read the book and
I knew how to prepare for the meeting.
S o I will put the link to
the book in the show notes.
It's Holding Your Own available on
Amazon and every other retail platform.
But Melissa, if people wanna
work with you or connect with
you, how can they get in touch?
How can they learn more?
Melissa Maher: Sure, I'm always on
LinkedIn, so that is certainly a
good way to get in touch with me.
Or you can go to my website.
I actually have a website for the
book that's holdingyourownbook.com.
Or my business website is
pinnacleenterprisesgroup.com.
So those are the three best ways to
reach out to me and get in touch with me.
Love to hear from all of your
listeners or any of your listeners
if they need anything at all.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose: Yes.
Melissa is someone who walks the talk and
she is really responsive and collaborative
and supports others and cheerleads others.
And your personal brand I think,
shines so strongly and you're such
a nice person for us to emulate and
put our own personal twist on it.
So thank you for being a guest
on Prospecting on Purpose.
Thank you for lending us your wisdom.
Thank you for being my friend,
and I'm so happy you were able
to join the episode today.
Melissa Maher: Oh, I'm very,
very excited to be here.
I'm delighted to be with you
and I appreciate all the time
that you did with your homework.
I saw all those post-it
notes, so thank you.
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose:
Oh my gosh, I got so much out of it.
I cannot wait to continue
to put it into practice.
Thank you again, Melissa,