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Sara and Michelle are experienced volleyball coaches who's mission is to empower teen athletes to unlock their full potential - on and off the court - by cultivating growth mindset, building resilience, mastering sports psychology, regulating their nervous systems and setting meaningful, actionable goals.
We want to share experience and stories from young athletes and ex-pros to help young athletes be UNSTOPPABLE in competition and in life.
Hi, everyone. We're Sara and Michelle, and we're Unstoppable. So as usual, Sara, we're gonna start with a little debrief from your weekend. Sarah's team just came back with a provincial silver, so I'm excited to hear how it went.
Sara:Yeah. So this group has been amazing group of girls, but I feel like there's been some spots where we haven't necessarily got six to nine players on the court at one you know, with sub at one time playing in a way that could, like, lead to our best results up to this point. And we have been working with this group. I do a lot of intention setting. I do a lot of our mental work with them, and a lot of them have been through our program.
Sara:And yet we have some new elements. So every once in a while, you'd see a couple of them, like, really building steady, but then you'd be missing one or two players on a weekend, and sometimes that's enough to leave you with a really big gap. So this weekend, it was the best weekend where there were times I was like, this is it. Like, I have got seven or eight right now rolling that they are competing. They're showing up.
Sara:They're being consistent. Something goes wrong. You can tell they just set it down. They move on. They were encouraging each other.
Sara:It was Michelle, it was so exciting. Was just it was amazing. And I was so there was a couple of girls. We had one girl, you remember, in school season, and a really tough qualifier game. It just didn't go well.
Sara:Man, she was amazing this weekend. So and I was so proud of her. Like, she was just solid. And when she'd make an error, like, came back swinging. She didn't get hesitant.
Sara:She didn't start to play too safe. So that was just amazing. Because I was really celebrating. Yeah. Disappointing losing in a final.
Sara:Right? We won so we won five of the matches, and then we went into the final. It was a team we just competed with, and then they would just pull out in those long rallies back and forth over the net. And then somehow they seem to convert on those ones where we just weren't getting it finished. But I would say it wasn't any fault of any player.
Sara:It wasn't like we got beat by a team who we could beat, and on that day, they beat us. And then so it was just like, as much as it's, like, disappointing not to reach your goal and to win the goal, it was like, yeah, I can't be upset with how the team showed up, the players showed up. So that was really exciting. And on the first day, we played a weaker team who ended up in our pool, and I was able to get my bench in, like, subbed them in midway through the first set. And then I was like, Sarah, is this what you're gonna do?
Sara:Are you gonna put them out to start the second set? And then what happened if you you know, then and volleyball's such a game of momentum. I'm like, is this gonna be a huge coaching fail? But I felt like the girls, even the bench, they were there. They were executing.
Sara:And the other team was just not able to handle our serves. They were giving us lots of free balls back. So I felt quite confident that I'm like, no. Like, this is a game. Even my bench is gonna compete.
Sara:And they did. They went out. They got the second set start, which is always really exciting. And they competed, and they won. And so that was Good.
Sara:That was such a highlight. It was it was so so great to see them all come together. But the story I wanna relate is in our semifinal, girls won the first set maybe 25, 20. You know? Like, it was you could tell, like, they we were on.
Sara:We were doing things. And all of me was like, I could sub somebody in. And I was just and I was channeling our coach, our friend who wasn't able to come and watch. And he had said to me, like, Sarah, stick with the plan. And I'm like, right.
Sara:Like, this is this is the semifinal. Stick with the plan. You cannot let the like, I well, I knew we could handle something that first day in pool play. Like, in the semifinal, it's it's if you don't win, you're you're not moving on. And so I I didn't change anything.
Sara:Kept with my starting line. They were playing well. And then right at the end, like, the girls pulled away, and I'm like, nope. We're just gonna finish this game. So I think it was 24, 15, even though I thought about subbing, and I'm like, nope.
Sara:We're just finishing. So I thought we won the last point. I go down to the bench, and I'm like, girls, I so wanted to get you in. And I, like, I know there was a bigger point spread. And then all of a sudden, something had happened.
Sara:The a play hadn't been called, and so we went back. So I had to go back and sit down even though we were like, yay. So there was a something called on the play. Anyway, I sit down, and one of the girls on the bench came over, she put her hand on my shoulder. And she looked at me, she goes, Sarah, like, yeah.
Sara:She's like, we wanna win. And if us sitting on the bench is how that happens, she's like, don't feel bad. This is what we want. And, Michelle, I was just for a player to see that and to see the coach, we're on the plan. You know?
Sara:So as much as we're fighting for this place of getting everybody in, it was it was just that reassurance. They're with the plan. Yeah. We had talked going in. We're going in to win.
Sara:This is the strategy. She was like, yeah. Like, coach, don't forget the plan.
Michelle:Well and I do feel like they can come to you with the confidence and feel that and believe it and mean it because you at play days, you get the girls in playing, and you make sure that you're on Saturdays, like, or day one of tournaments that you're finding opportunities for them to play. So they're not just sitting for games and games and games. Because at that point, you try to put them in. There's no confidence left. Girls can't operate that way.
Michelle:So you've you've looked for every opportunity to build confidence and get them going and find an opportunity. You're gonna play this role today. And so you're always looking for those things. And so then I think it allows the girls to sit on the bench, understand it, and and be happy for their to be part of the team. Yeah.
Michelle:So you've developed that. Yeah. We talked about this. Oh my gosh. Like, we can't even oh my god.
Michelle:We could start over and talk about another hour of the times where we haven't done that. I still think about it. I'm still thinking about it. I didn't even have a head coach this season, and I'm thinking about you guys at provincials and opportunities of, like, where do you get that player in? And, you know, it's so funny.
Michelle:So but it's it's finding a balance, and we have in the end, we never have feel like we have the right answer, but it's trying to find a balance between finding everybody an opportunity to play and to playing to win because we have chosen to be a competitive team, not not a fair play team. So
Sara:Well, and this is the reason I bring this up is because I saw it on Facebook yesterday, and one of the coaching groups I'm on, coach gets an email at 9PM about playing time. And it's like, as as coaches, like, I just want to say to the parents before you send that email, have you talked to your athlete? Because your athlete could be the one that I talked to that said, coach, we're with the plan. We want to win. We understand sitting on the bench.
Sara:So parents, you have a responsibility to check-in with your athlete because your athlete might be like, Mom or Dad. No, the coach explained it. They've discussed it. This was what's going happen. So as a parent, you might see your athlete disappointed they didn't get in, but they might fully understand the decisions and what was happening behind it.
Sara:I think maybe in the event that your athlete doesn't understand, that's a place to coach your athlete to approach their coach and ask questions. Inquire. Hey, coach. I'm a little disappointed I'm not getting the playing time. I expect or I hope.
Sara:Could you help me understand? And the coach might either have a plan to communicate or the coach might say, like, I had an an episode this weekend. You were late when we were leaving, so you were five minutes late. You had all us waiting. So one, that moves you down on my list.
Sara:Two, like, there was an incident that happened in warm up where you turned and walked away from a ball because you were frustrated with your own performance. As a coach, I'm like, well, she's not ready to play. And then another one when I was looking at who was to play, and you're messing around down on the bench with your buddies while all the other players are looking at me. Like, let's go, coach. So you wanna know why your athlete isn't playing.
Sara:I got you three examples of why I didn't get that athlete in this weekend, right, or this play or this games. Right. Yeah. I could tell that. And so I actually did in that that situation.
Sara:I pulled that athlete aside. I said, okay. One, I let go, but here's three. What's going on, kid? Yeah.
Sara:You want me to consider you for some playing? Here's three things that have happened that's gonna make that really tough for me. What are you gonna do? How are you gonna show up mentally? And so, yeah, I really want parents to be aware that sometimes there's some things going on and you need to check-in really, really clearly with your athlete before you're going out the coach about playing time.
Michelle:Yeah. Yeah. Because often they get it. I had that last year at Provincials, and we had back to back games, won the crossover, and then we're playing in the semis. And and it was just we had momentum, and it was it was a tough game, and I didn't wanna make changes, not because I didn't have other people, but everybody was playing good.
Michelle:So I'm just like, we're just gonna keep it the same. So that athlete didn't play two games in a row, and the parents were ready to take her home for the final. We ended up in the bronze medal match, which we won, and she played both sets.
Sara:Right.
Michelle:I was like, well, I guess you can take her if she's willing to go. And she's like, absolutely not. I'm good. Whatever you need to do, coach. And I was like, I knew she would be fine with it.
Sara:Yeah.
Michelle:I don't care what my dad said. Don't listen to him.
Sara:Yeah. Good for her.
Michelle:Yeah. I was like, I got you. You're good. Yeah.
Sara:So Yep. So like like everything, I mean, playing time is always gonna be a thing, and my athletes understood the plan. And now we're we're actually headed to nationals where, I mean, the results and the competition, like, it's kind of a pay to play. Like, it's really called nationals. It's just another tournament.
Sara:And I told the athletes, I'm like, we're gonna go and it won't necessarily be fair play, but everybody's going to play. And so, yeah, it was really good. I was able to say, hey. Like, that Provincials, we were going to place the best we could. It helps for next season.
Sara:It sets up the athletes that are coming back to play with more athlete points. Like, there's a bunch of reasons why performing our best at Provincials matters. And now we're going into this optional nationals that we're just going to for fun. Well, everybody's gonna get to play. So I think they understand that as well.
Sara:So Yeah. That's so good. Yeah. So
Michelle:That's awesome. We do wanna do some more debriefs with some of the other coaches because everybody's got different strategies about how playtime and how that works. And so I do want to have that chance to talk to those other coaches, maybe have a little round table with them because I think it gives great perspective to just hear all the different thought processes that go in besides just ours because you and I think very similarly on that. But, yeah, it'd be good to to pick the brains of a gold medal winner. And then one of our teams was in division one.
Michelle:It had a middle of the pack, I think. But simply being in division one is phenomenal. So super proud of both of those teams.
Sara:Yeah. I think they went in ranked, like, in the twenties, and they ended up playing for tenth. So, yeah, you set a goal for goal and you want to they competed. They actually had a third set go twenty one nineteen that they lost. And that was, I think, their that could have been their quarter.
Sara:So, like, that could have had them compete. Right? And it's like Yeah. That but that tells me they're in that conversation. Absolutely.
Sara:For a small community team and just a really great group of athletes, well coached, and, yeah, they're doing really well. Yep. That's awesome. Exciting for them.
Michelle:Yeah. So good. Cool. Well, I had some excitement because I was in San Diego, so I went down to visit Coast Volleyball Club Okay. Which is one of the bigger clubs in the nation and, like, a top 10.
Michelle:I think it's ranked as one of the top 10 clubs continuously being top in California, top in the nation, and it's, yeah. I was sufficiently mind blown. And then I'm like, wow, can I just can I come coach here? This is amazing. Right?
Michelle:I'm like, I'll start with the twelves. Give me a u twelve team. I'm good.
Sara:I'll take all the way through.
Michelle:Seven courts. Like, they've just expanded, but they have seven indoor courts. They have new space that's gonna be like the gym, the weight room, and then they had two or three outdoor courts. And and so then multiple teams of all ages, you know, more at the fourteens, of course, which is what we see too. But it was just mind blowing.
Michelle:Right? It was just so cool to see.
Sara:The other piece that you mentioned to me was the fees that they pay because I think a lot of our our audience is Canadian to understand, like, US dollars. The parents are starting at $6.
Michelle:6 to $8 for registration fees and then add your tournaments fees every weekend, which is accommodations, food, all of it. And I think like a lot of the teams don't do what we do and get a Airbnb and everybody cram in the house and coaches are sleeping on the floor and a couch and in a closet like so as we make all these efforts to save save money for everybody and make it affordable. But yeah, then you get that which I mean it was I was mind blowing was so cool to see. Got to speak with one of the coaches who I actually would like to get on the podcast because so he is played like professionally got injured, had to like, not play as as high as he could have, but he coaches both a boys team and a girls team. Oh, neat.
Michelle:And yeah. Especially because not everybody is gifted with understanding how to coach girls and then to sew for him to do both and he really enjoys both. And so because it's just totally different race talking about boys are bouncing off the wall. Whereas you get the youth fourteens with their laser focus and just like, let's go. He's like, it's so different.
Michelle:It's so funny to coach girls versus boys. So I think I would love to interview him and actually pick his brain. I mean, I know the differences, but I'd love to get hear from him what he says and and as a man's perspective too. So Yeah.
Sara:Yeah. Awesome. So cool. I'll have to do that.
Michelle:But yeah, I was like, I walked away just like just not even words. Just like, wow. And all I was hoping is that can we get one space with one court and share it with basketball and pickleball? I'm like, what can we do here?
Sara:Yeah. And and you know what, though? In the end and there's some of those teams in the Lower Mainland that they their athletes are paying $23,000, and they do have some private training facilities. In the end, we beat Rain City, their second team. You know?
Sara:Their first team has all college, like, signed girls, but their second team Yeah. Were out competing. Yeah. Our girls are well trained up because in the end, it doesn't matter where you come from. Like, you're on the court and, really, you've got the skills.
Sara:They might be getting a little bit extra, but the importance of the mental game, and that's what the Unstoppable Athlete is offering is this place to come and work on that piece where a parent came up to me and he said, just want you to know your girls were so she said, they were so composed. It was so and she's like, it was so fun watching them play because they were so composed, and yet they seem to be having so much fun. Like, things and it was in a game where things got really tight. Like, the score got within, like, 23, 24. And she's like, your athletes just seemed so composed and not hard on each other and, like, actually apparent noticing how supportive our athletes were of one another.
Sara:How, like, we're saying our bench who maybe wasn't playing. I definitely know they weren't playing in that game. How supportive they were. They're, like, totally felt like a whole unit.
Michelle:And that's not the first time you've heard that.
Sara:And
Michelle:and I I had a had a parent that was scorekeeping one time after the game came up to me and she's like, I really love how you talk to your girls, which made me laugh because I was like, well, obviously, I've come a long ways myself. Right? But it's like, but watching our girls and then we forget that there's there's no pouting on the court because they just that's been we've trained that out of them. And it's just like we've taught them a different way. And it's just like, it's so cool to see that and then to be like, oh, yeah.
Michelle:Because over the last few years of us doing all of this, they've learned it, and they're integrating it. So it's pretty awesome.
Sara:Well, and that's it. We were doing our postgame, so we're going around the circle, and each of the girls is saying something. I mean, they're it's just so easy for them now to give somebody a shout out, do a little reflection, set an intention. All of these things are just second nature to them now. I see it.
Sara:It's things that they are just part of their language, and it's something that they're going to take to other areas of their life. Like, oh, I'm struggling with this. Okay. Can I have an awareness? What's going on?
Sara:Okay. I need to be honest. I'm not gonna ignore it. I'm gonna address it. I'm gonna figure out what it is that's kinda not working, and then I'm gonna set an intention.
Sara:I'm gonna work towards a new way of being, and it's like it's so empowering for them.
Michelle:No, I think that's awesome. Yeah. So one of the things that we did send out to all of our girls and we shared it with the entire club was a provincials prep. Three three questions getting ready for provincials, which is honestly, this is this is something you could do with your daughter on the way to every single tournament you go to and whatever sport. And honestly, even if it's you're going to a band recital or I could just doesn't matter.
Michelle:It applies to everything. But we sent out these three questions and with some prompts for the coaches to share to to help continuing the conversation with them. And so the first one, these are all things that the girls can control. But parents, if you wanna stop after each one and just let the girls talk about a little bit versus listening to what we say about the number one is who do you who do I choose to be out there?
Sara:And so that's a great one. Right? It gives the girls, like, what persona, what what strengths, what aptitudes, and and for some of our players, like definitely some of the bench players, they were able to say, I choose to be encouraging, supportive, you know, and so they actually are already looking outside of themselves because it might not be a performance goal. A player that knows, yeah, it might be tough for me to get out on the bench isn't gonna set I choose to be, like, crushing every ball that I have the opportunity for. K.
Sara:Maybe not realistic. But to see them embody the role that they knew that they had, or I choose to be watching what's happening. So if I get the chance to go in, I'm ready.
Michelle:Mhmm. Yeah. I wanna be the best bench bench player I can be this weekend. And however that looks, and that doesn't mean that you can control the coach putting you in or not, but you can be I can control my energy. I can control how I show up.
Michelle:But it's but this is why we want it to not be a statistic school. Like, I I want whatever percentage kill average and I want that this like you can't control that necessarily. So if you can control how you show up like you're winning because that's like. Yeah. Yeah.
Michelle:So I love that one. Yeah. And then I like to how like one of the prompts on that was how do you want people to describe you afterwards? So that becomes like maybe a mom in the stands notices you and she said like notice our team and says those things. Maybe the kids never heard hear it, but I'm doing the right things if that's what people are seeing and that's so much pride as the coach to be our girls are showing up so well for themselves and people are noticing it.
Michelle:Yeah, and then the second question is what does my best look like today? Nice. So what what do you think? Like, why do we need to focus on? What does my best look like today?
Sara:Well, was I think it is every it's always changing, right? And so so that we aren't framing success as, again, statistics or it is, okay, what like, what's going on in my life, my world? What's the situation that's happening? Let's say for Div one team, they competed so well against a team who was ranked seventh, but they also went in to compete against a team who's ranked set second, and, like, they got their their butts kicked. So their best might look like, okay.
Sara:I'm just going to learn from each rally, and I am going to bounce back and control the pieces that I can control. So it can definitely depend on so many factors.
Michelle:Well, and I think I've noticed some of my girls have worse if they're on their period, and it's it's all they can do to be there. And so then their best that day looks different. And so they'll make maybe maybe you're gonna be less flashy today. But can you go and do the basics? Right?
Michelle:Can you close the block? Can you get your hands up? Can you like control your attack? And just like, keep it keep it simple. And I feel like some days I'm like, yeah, that's all that that was the best you had today, and that's okay.
Michelle:Yeah. Then the last one, of course, volleyball especially, but all sports is how fast can I bounce back?
Sara:And this is my favorite one because Mhmm. Mistakes are part of the game. Like, they are gonna happen. The other team is sometimes gonna do something amazing. Right?
Sara:Like, with most of the team this weekend, we were blocking cross because I'm gonna let them try to hit line. Some girl banged the ball down the line. And, you know, the player playing six pack looks like, should I have been there? I'm like, no. Like, that
Michelle:was amazing. That's right. You and I are on the bench going, earn shot. Earn shot. Just like, whatever.
Michelle:Good job, Give
Sara:it to them. Like, that was a really great play. And what do you have next? Right? Mhmm.
Sara:Are we gonna adjust our strategy, or are we gonna see if they can do it again? And can that player go, okay. Well, I know that girl can do that, so do you adjust your position? Allowing them to have those pieces that when an error happens, it's not I'm bad. It's something happened.
Sara:Then there's an opportunity if you look at it to change your response. And so that bounce back is such an affirmative way of learning from a mistake.
Michelle:And then it becomes too, like, was it a mental mistake or a physical mistake? Like, was I in position? I ejected. I approached hard. I just missed and hit it out.
Michelle:Whatever. It's a physical mistake. Don't change a thing. Good. Keep swinging.
Michelle:Is it a mental mistake? Well, I didn't eject. So then I was into position, and so then I couldn't hit the ball and I still pounded it and it hit the back wall. Right? Like it's it's think about it and then, okay, I know I need to I need to eject.
Michelle:I've got a job to do. Can I do the those things right so that we can just work with physical mistakes? But, yeah, that's the goal.
Sara:Well, and that's that player I was explaining. So I pulled her aside. I'm like, okay. Here are three things. I can live with execution errors, but here are three examples of men.
Sara:How are you gonna bounce back tomorrow? And I'll give her, like, she was first in the car. Waiting in the car. Like, I am not gonna be last. So awesome.
Sara:Already, I'm like, okay. She's with us. Now she's looking at me. Okay, coach. When am I going in?
Sara:She's not off messing around when it's time for coach to put the lineup out. So right away, there's, okay. Yeah. She is bouncing back because those are mental errors. But instead of collapsing, coach doesn't like me.
Sara:Coach had, like, pretty firm words with her. She was able to say, okay, here, like, I can control these things. And so I think that's the the piece about bouncing back is what's in your control. Can you control your technique? Can you control your mental game?
Sara:Where's that piece? And so our girls like to have a word for that. Right? And so a lot of them, and they use next like, oh, that happened. Next.
Sara:I'm not going to get caught, but yeah, it's nice when they actually have a little something to anchor on so that they know.
Michelle:Yeah, and I think I think I can say that all of our girls have whatever their reset word is where it's that's next next ball. Like it's just like they just move on. It's happened. We it's we can't focus on that when we're moving forward. Yeah, it's good.
Michelle:I really want to sit down with some of the U14s to see how they showed up after they just finished the Unstoppable program. And I'd love to see like what how they talk about things, how they how they reflect on the weekend.
Sara:Well, that's so so great. Yeah. We'll do some athlete interviews because that was a group I would say was super dedicated. They were in the conversation. They love these kind of prompts.
Sara:They really, as a team, like each week we were meeting with, the coach was saying, oh my god, they're looking forward to their session with you guys. So that was really cool. Now to debrief and go, okay, where were the places that you put some of those things you learned into play? Yeah. Yeah.
Sara:For sure. Awesome. I love it. Well, why don't we do a little top three? Obviously, the three steps of reflection for provincials would be one.
Sara:Right? The who do I choose to be? What does my best look like today? And how do I bounce back? What would a second takeaway be?
Michelle:I think that recognize that the girls want to win too, and they understand that sometimes winning means sitting on the bench that parents we need to remember that they get it. Yeah, so I think that's really important.
Sara:And the third. Do you
Michelle:have one that's standing out too?
Sara:I think I I mean, it kinda came up as a through line, but that difference between execution errors and mental errors. The mental piece of the game is so valuable. It's what allows the girls to stay composed. It's what allows the girls to show up for one another when they've actually done some of this work in the mental part of the game. So it doesn't become everything's physical, everything's skill, everything's stacked.
Sara:You know? There's a place for that, but the mental part of the game and making some time for that and parents like having these discussions with your athletes just is so valuable.
Michelle:Yeah, I think so too. I like it. I never get sick of that one. Mental over physical mistakes, for sure.
Sara:Awesome. Okay, love it. Thanks, Michelle. I'm Sarah, and together, we're Unstoppable.