Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Kamini Wood works with high achievers on letting go of stress, overwhelm and anxiety that comes with trying to do everything, and trying to do it all perfectly
Hi there. Welcome to another episode of Rise Up Live Joy Your Way, whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening. Thank you for taking some time to spend here with me and today I wanna. Take a deeper dive into something that many of us quietly struggle with, and that is confidence. Confidence is not just about being bold or being the loudest person in the room.
It's about believing deeply in who you are at your core, right? It's this [00:01:00] unwavering trust that you are exactly you and you are enough. So if we're gonna be honest with ourselves, and you know, think to yourself, how often have you hesitated maybe to speak up in a room of people? Or how often have you hesitated to say no, or maybe even pursue your own dreams or what lights you up because you're worried that you might not be enough, or that you might fail or you might disappoint somebody or you might embarrass yourself.
That feeling. That one that we're talking about right there, that's that feeling and that voice of self-doubt. That's that idea of imposter syndrome that keeps us stuck, and that's what we're talking about when we say like, well, there's this lack of confidence. And I wanna say, I've been there. I have absolutely, as a people pleasing, perfectionist, have chased that I was terrified of making mistakes, and it still catches me.
There's parts of me to this day that get nervous about making mistakes. [00:02:00] So often I have found myself saying yes to things because I was afraid of maybe making somebody upset if I said no. So it's really about recognizing that confidence is about how we're talking to ourselves, right? It starts from the inside out.
And it alludes us a lot of times from an early age, you know, because we're, we are conditioned to seek external validation, approval, and acceptance. We're praised from an early age for the achievements we make or the grades we make or how we appear, you know, subtly teaching us that these are these external markers that we're looking for.
And when we have that as our compass, we're constantly swayed by the opinions of others. And those opinions are things that we can't control. And when you think about it, how many times has someone else's opinion caused you to maybe question your worth or caused you maybe to choose not to do something or to change your mind?
How many times has somebody, their lack of acknowledgement kept you from feeling like you actually did achieve something or to feel good about the thing that you achieved? I. [00:03:00] So I wanna see if we can shift a little bit from this chasing validation into building a genuine unshakable confidence from within yourself.
Because the core truth is confidence isn't found in the absence of mistakes. It's not found even outside of you. It's built on your willingness to. Make the mistake, learn from it, and to continue to move forward and recognize that that mistake doesn't define your worth. So in order to reclaim your own confidence, it is about, you know, grounding yourself.
It's about, you know, feeling yourself in this moment, you know, and, and maybe even saying to yourself, is there a moment when you have felt genuinely proud? Uh. You know of yourself, but because somebody else hasn't acknowledged it, you didn't, you didn't actually see it as an accomplishment because really in order to shift that, it's to take the, that time to recognize that you don't actually need that external validation in order to [00:04:00] celebrate how you showed up and who you are.
Your own core values are your personal compass. So when self-doubt creeps in, you return to your core values and you ask yourself, you know, well, what is most meaningful to me? This is actually what is meaningful to me, and that can help move you through being pulled by all of those external judgments. I.
Another way to look at this is that confidence will grow exponentially when we do make peace with this idea of imperfection, embracing the idea of imperfection, it's not about. Settling or lowering your standards. It's about releasing yourself from this weight of unrealistic expectations. It's about understanding, again, that your worth doesn't come from only achievements.
It's not determined by these achievements. It's not determined by being perfect. It's your worth comes from just the fact that you are who you are and remembering that confidence isn't linear. It's okay that if some days it feels harder than others, that's [00:05:00] okay. Remembering that it's about how I continue to show up, what I choose over and over again.
What do I lean into? You know, recognizing that on a day where maybe the story is you're feeling less confident, it's you taking some time to reground into what's true about yourself and into those core strengths. You know, if you just give yourself the ability to look at what your character strengths are, those moments where you're failing.
Less confident. You can lean back into those. You can ask yourself, well, what's actually true about me? Confidence is absolutely a practice of courageously showing up each and every day as you, and each and every day challenging when the inner critic wants to tear you down. It's also about challenging when you are so dependent on those external validations and recognizing that it's not actually true, that you need that person to appreciate you in order for yourself to appreciate yourself.
If this resonated with you or you wanna just explore how coaching could help you [00:06:00] build things like confidence, build up your self-acceptance, because truthfully, when we build up our self-acceptance, we build up our self-confidence, which then also builds up our self-esteem. Those are those three pillars that help us become our own self leader.
Feel free to book a time with me anytime@coachwithcolony.com. Until next time, stay well.