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Money & Me: Get anything you desire this year 5 Day Audio Program: https://www.soulrichwoman.com/money
I believe we can change the world. But first, we’ve got to stop living in fear of being judged for who we are.
Hi I'm Genecia Alluora, Founder of the #1 Leading Female Entrepreneur Network in South East Asia supporting 1 Million women to Own & LOve The F-Word. Being fabulous, having freedom, financial independence and Family.
With a challenge to women everywhere to stop TALKING themselves out of their dreams, Soul Why? Secrets of The Soul Rich Woman Blueprint identifies the excuses to let go of, the behaviours to adopt, and the skills to acquire on the path to growth, confidence, and believing in yourself to be recognised as a leader online. Get clients online and to have more impact on the world!
Stop Believing THE Lies ABOUT Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be. You're Just an "F-Word" Away from The Life You Want, The Marriage You Want... The Family That You Want, Is Going To Be Fueled By The Business & Life You Build ... Join me, become a Soul Rich Woman. Alone we are strong, Together we are unstoppable!
Ask Me Anything & get featured on the podcast: https://podinbox.com/genecia
[00:00:00]
Genecia Alluora: This episode is brought to you by Instantpodcastleader.com, the leading platform to launch your podcast in 48 hours and make it profitable. Get your free audiobook and free webclass@instantpodcastleader.com/webclass.
[00:00:18]
Genecia Alluora: Hi, I'm Genecia Alluora, founder of Soul Rich Woman, the number one leading female entrepreneur network in Southeast Asia supporting 1 million women to own and love the F Word, fabulous freedom, financial independence and happy family. Alone, you are strong, together, we are unstoppable. So go to soulrichwoman.com. Grab your free five day online program, Money and Me, how to get anything you desire. Welcome to my show.
[00:00:49]
Genecia Alluora: Hi, and welcome to another episode of Soul Why, Secrets of the Soul Rich Woman Blueprint. I'm honored to spend this time with you. No matter where you're listening, whether it's on your way to work or you're sitting in your office working on your business dreams, or even if you are driving around in the car with your kids, sleeping at the back of the backseat, I have been there many times. So I love seeing your pictures and videos of where you're listening to my podcast. Send those things to me. I love seeing it and I love hearing from you and your AHAs.
[00:01:31]
Genecia Alluora: Hey, gorgeous. Welcome to today's episode. Today I want to share with you how to conquer criticism with these five easy steps and becoming more successful. Now, apparently people are more afraid of public speaking or even live streaming than of death. Now, these fears of being visible can be so detrimental to your business and your ability to reach your dreams. Another stumbling block I've noticed among my entrepreneurial clients is that the fear of being criticized. It especially affects entrepreneurs, writers, live streamers, actors, or anyone else in a creative profession. Now, if you have ever set up a blog or a live stream or a TikTok shop, then you have probably experienced the fear of being criticized when you start sharing yourself publicly.
[00:02:29]
Genecia Alluora: You always ask yourself these three questions, what if people don't like what I have to say? What if people think I'm stupid? What if people don't like me? Especially in today's society when online bullying is so rampant and that anyone can turn on a live stream and air and rant and online bully someone else over the other side, or any person who shares regularly on social media, whether it's Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, or even on TikTok, is bound to get some ill intentioned or even downright nasty comments directed at them. There's going to be haters. It's going to be so destructive and so crippling.
[00:03:14]
Genecia Alluora: So I'm going to share with you how to create success on your own terms. Now, this fear can keep you hostage and keep you locked down in chain and shackles and force you to give up your dreams. When I do TikTok live and we were number one in FMCG for our beauty brand and also crowned top three in overall sales in the whole of Singapore for TikTok Singapore, I suffered from this fear. It kept me from wanting to do more. Sometimes kept me awake at night, stomach churning as well. I was playing small in the world. But you know what? I've conquered it and I want to help you to do that too. Even for Soul Rich Woman running a female entrepreneur network in over seven countries and plus with over 200,000 members is not an easy feat. Because of all these humans that's available in the online world, they are bound to be noises.
[00:04:10]
Genecia Alluora: I mean, I want to be brilliant too. I want to pursue my dreams. But then again, there's all these fears and noises that is holding me back or could hold you back as well. So the I don't want to be brilliant. I don't want you, a brilliant soulful entrepreneur to be, to suffer from this anymore. Hiding yourself under the carpet, hiding yourself behind the screen, hiding yourself behind the blankets or in your cupboard is not going to do it anymore, especially in a time and age as now with, for example, platforms helping you to shortcut your success, to get your voice and message out there, to do your business online. And I want to help you to break this block.
[00:04:52]
Genecia Alluora: Now, fear of criticism can hold you back from starting a business that you think is a great idea. For example, writing a book, starting a TikTok shop, doing an online selling online courses. All these things are keeping you awake at night or making a big leap. For example, changing careers, switching jobs, doing internal department switches as well. And all these have loads and loads of noises that comes into our mind and creates all these noises in our head that we cannot cope. And sometimes we can be easily swayed by other people's opinions of what is necessary and what is important. Ultimately, it is your dream. And I know that entrepreneurs like yourself with manuscripts hiding in their drawers or hiding in their cupboards or hiding in their bags. But I can tell you, several have confessed to me and said that if I do this, if I get rejected, if I get all these negative haters, I will die.
[00:05:57]
Genecia Alluora: I cannot cope. I don't think it's for me. I can't do this anymore. I think I'm going to give up. I think this and I think that. So here's the thing. Criticism might suck, but it will not kill you. Yes, it might sting. Yes, it's going to hurt. Yes, people are going to just sing and dance in the negative way that is not to your liking. But you know what? You're not a Panda. In mandarin, always say, if you want to be a Panda, then go be a Panda. Panda is so cute. But then we are a human being with dreams and path and directions. So if anything that happened, if ever you're going to stretch yourself, you got to do it out of your comfort zone. Then you can armor yourself against this inevitable flight from other people. You know what?
[00:06:48]
Genecia Alluora: There are five ways to deal with haters, especially now there are so many things happening and you need to get yourself out there on these online platforms to get your voice heard, your message heard, your business out there. So number one, here are my top tips of softening the pain of criticism. Remember, number one, that not everyone will like you. Number two, they are just jealous of you. So just know that, okay, they are jealous, then move on. Okay. Number three, never read your bad press or people will say negative things. Just skip it and don't read it. Number four, keep it sweet and keep smiling. Number five, get excited by criticism or by naysayers or by the cold blanketters.
[00:07:33]
Genecia Alluora: So remember, not everyone will like you. Now, when we won the top ranking in TikTok shop for the brand and also for the overall sales revenue in TikTok, there was suddenly thrust into the public eye. We were trying to go under cover and do it very quietly in our business. But you see, after this, we had a barrage of negativity from other people, their friends, their family, and a complete load of strangers whom we didn't know. And strangely, it didn't bother me. I was in fact happy and elated because this is a path that I know that when you are on the right track, nothing is always smooth sailing. You just have to ignore the noises and just keep moving forward. So whatever that is going on, I know that there is pain and there's embarrassment. There are people who is going to sing their song and blow their trumpets at you and make you feel really, really painful.
[00:08:31]
Genecia Alluora: I really had to fight the urge to comment back and justify myself. I was called boring, superficial, and then when somebody called me a hypocrite, call me a scammer, call me fake, I couldn't let it go. I was trying to compose the perfect response, the exact words to say, What should I do? And trying to plan up a sweet revenge. But you know what? I wanted people to like me. You see, in the world of business, there's no such thing as people and everyone or anyone will love you or like you. You can't include strangers to like you or get them to want to follow you all the time. You just need to accept that, hey, even tracking down, even though no matter what then happened, you can actually overcome it. You can actually just get yourself prepared.
[00:09:24]
Genecia Alluora: I wanted everyone in the world, including perfect strangers, or tracking down every single comment and charming them until they want to be my friend, but it's not possible. That is not possible. Sometimes I feel that I couldn't survive criticism. I can't survive bad press. I can't survive. But you know what? As long as we we are going with integrity step by step, and we build brick by brick, block by block, as long as the house is built on solid ground with strong foundation, when the strong wind blows, nothing will happen. Yes, maybe some of the sand will be blown away. There'll be some cracks here and there. These could be healed and mended along the way.
[00:10:07]
Genecia Alluora: So when I let these feelings drift away, I felt so empowered. To help you to do this, I recommend you to do the forgiveness exercise. Okay? So if you want to know how to do the forgiveness exercise, remember to check back some of my episodes where I talk about how you can do the forgiveness exercise in order to get yourself out of the comfort zone to go towards your dreams. Okay? So we shy away from putting ourselves and our work out there in the world because we're afraid that people will misconstrue what we are doing and make us feel stupid or worthless or worse. They think that we are bad people, you're a bitch. They'll call you names just to make themselves feel better. You know what? No more bullshit. Just keep on going.
[00:10:52]
Genecia Alluora: Number two, lose their jealous refrain. Now, people make nasty comments. Writing it off as jealousy from an evil person sets up a sense of better or less than and makes you feel like people are out there to get you as you become more successful. Now, this may be the case. Equally, they could be just letting off the steam or just had a bad day or just had a snap of judgment and couldn't stop themselves from renting. Either way, it's their problem, not yours. If you can disengage from the criticism and see for what it is, absolute meaningless rubbish, then you can move on and achieve whatever you want without worrying about others' people's random opinions of you and your business.
[00:11:40]
Genecia Alluora: Number three, never read your bad comments or bad press. Now, does it sound like denial? No, sometimes I call it self preservation. Why should you let someone's ill informed, uninformed, heated word vomit ruin your day? The funny thing is, many friends feel that it's their duty to try to defend me online. I've seen comments like, if you actually know Genecia, if you actually know her, if you actually know them. But you know what? I think that's sweet, but it's also pointless. Because if someone tells me there's some negative stuff online, I just ignore it and don't read it anymore. The fact is, the more well known you become, the more criticism you face. The more successful you become, the more people will feel envy, jealous, resentment, disagreement.
[00:12:30]
Genecia Alluora: They will find all sorts of ways to try and bring you down. Big deal. Consider it a sign of success that you are generating buzz. Don't be obsessed over it or spend hours trying to Google yourself. It's not healthy because you can use the energy to generate more energy, to help more people, to share your message, to get your business online, and for your energy, for living your life beautifully. Number four, think of it in the calm sense. What goes around comes around. So I said, keep it sweet. What you know, I always tell my followers and my audience. People are watching, the universe is watching, the energy and dynamics are moving. What goes around comes around. So if you are being nasty online to others, then chances are it will come back to you eventually.
[00:13:26]
Genecia Alluora: I try very hard not to say anything bad or mean online. I don't do that at all. In fact, I always tell even my customers, my audience, the people who follow me, no matter what happens or shit hits the fence, bring on the positive energy and don't go online and do funny things or weird things because I know what it's like to be at the receiving end of it. Yeah, receiving end, because what goes around comes around. And if you don't have anything nice to say, just don't say. Just button up your lips. Don't need to say anything. That doesn't mean that I don't bitch anymore. It's just that I tell it only to my husband instead of saying it out or writing it online. Get into the habit of blessing people who annoy you or wish people luck, even if you are feeling jealous.
[00:14:17]
Genecia Alluora: Say to yourself, Good things are happening to me too. Good things are happening to me right now. I love myself and I set myself free. This is my time and I'm ready for the next step. And they will. Number five, get excited with criticism or get excited about criticism. Now, am I mad? How can you get excited about something that hurts so badly and makes you want to throw up? When I was writing, I was doing TikTok live, and I was doing my book, I was doing Soul Rich Woman, all these that I'm doing right now, I remember receiving all the rejections, all the criticisms, the haters, the people. All these happen at any point that you're about to do something and that is towards your dream. Whenever you are one step closer to your dream, shit hits the fence.
[00:14:17]
Genecia Alluora: Think of every rejection, every criticism, everything that's negative that's happening to you as a step up along the road. Could you reframe the criticism as a measure of success? Would you be willing to get excited about every rejection that comes your way as a step one step closer to your goal? What if you deserve the criticism? I know as hard as it sounds, sometimes that could be true to criticism. If you are constantly being told that you miss deadlines, that you are late to meet friends, that you're unreliable, or your customers are constantly bitching about you, then you should take an honest look and ask yourself if there's any truth in it. Yes, it can hurt by admitting that you are wrong at times, but take it as a useful feedback and acknowledge it.
[00:16:02]
Genecia Alluora: People will be less likely to bitch behind your back if you're truthful about your shortcomings and say sorry if you need to. Because there is such a classic, but this is such a classic and we should read it daily. Please remind yourself of these beautiful words of Marianne Williamson. It goes, Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
[00:16:58]
Genecia Alluora: We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Marianne Williamson, A Cause in miracles. Wow. Meditate on these words from Marianne Williamson. How amazing it is. So today, my friend, what could you do if you could let go of criticism? What could you do if you felt fear and did it anyway? Today, I want you to grab your journal and write down your answers.
[00:17:51]
Genecia Alluora: It is your time and you are ready for the next step. I found a lot of other people's criticism come from their own money blocks. Yes, people who bitch about you, people who say negative about you, have their own monsters. And over the last 20 years of doing healing work and of course, helping women like yourself to overcome and become a soul rich woman, I've discovered that money blocks is one of the key things that blocks people from becoming who they are.
[00:18:24]
Genecia Alluora: And in turn of these monsters is within them, they would like to step on others to elevate their own status. So you know what? If you are someone who needs help, we've got a special coaching on how to deal with other people's money mindset so that their money blocks don't sabotage your progress. Okay? So if you want, do click to message me for this and I'll love to speak to you soon. Sending you love and I'll see you in the next episode. Bye for now.
[00:18:56]
Genecia Alluora: Hey gorgeous. I can help you to build your dreams. Now you can work with me in my Money Mindset coaching program and mastermind community, Soul Rich Woman. The more you surround yourself with inspiring, successful and supportive people, the more you'll feel safe to dream. Let's clear all the old stories, beliefs and sabotages that are stopping you, holding you back and making you go round and round in circles and not allowing you to create your soul rich life. Fabulous freedom, financial independence and a happy family. It's fun and practical that is soulrichwoman.com. Or simply email us at hello@soulrichwoman.com. So come and join us.