Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
South Asian / Desi dads in their 40s stumble through fatherhood, midlife, and cultural chaos โ with laughs along the way.
Welcome to NaanSense! ๐๏ธ A podcast where dads in their 40s share the funny, messy, and real side of parenting, culture, and aging.
We overthink, overshare, and make each other laughโฆ usually by accident. Itโs equal parts wisdom and NaanSense! ๐๐คช
What youโll hear:
--> Honest convos about fatherhood & parenting in your 40s ๐จโ๐งโ๐ฆ
--> Real talk on South Asian / Desi culture, identity & family life ๐
--> Midlife curveballs โ health, aging, and everything in between ๐
--> Humor, storytelling, and the chaos of being dads ๐
๐ New episodes weekly-ish โ humor and fun semi-guaranteed.
Are we doing the dad um beef or whatever? Dad dilemma. Dad dilemma. Dad beef. Dad beef. Wow. Yeah. Kim. There you go. Does anybody have We're doing the Anybody have a dad dead dad beef? We talk about the couch test. Let's say your wife's out. You're at home just watching the basketball game. She comes in. Do you get off the couch or do you keep sitting and keep watching? Oh, that's a great question. Right. That's a dilemma. It depends on the context. Is she coming home with the kids and groceries and all that? Yeah, exactly. I'm getting up for sure. 100%. Wait, you're getting up? I'm going to help out with like Dude, if you don't But I think it depends on the context because if she's coming in home from like a girls night and the game is on, like am I getting up just be like, "Oh, welcome home." My wife doesn't do that. I wish she would, but she don't. But I always But I don't know. Like would if if she's coming home from a girl's night. Yeah. No, no, no. That's fine. Like if she like sometimes she'll go do like uh something for herself and I Yeah. Then it's like we're having No, if the kids are around, you better be doing something productive. Yeah. I get up and start like grabbing something. Okay, let's let's go. I'm I'm I'm working. I'm busy. Um Yeah. I think uh if if I'm with the kids three against one, I'm There's no way I'm sitting on the couch anyways. Yeah, unless Oh, unless like I got overwhelmed. And Are we recording? We've been recording. Okay. He doesn't miss a chance. Come on. He's like master. Is that recording, too? Yeah, dude. Everything's recording. It's being streamed. Okay. But if I'm if I'm with the kids and I'm on the couch, that means that I got lazy or tired and just have them with me. In which case, we're all getting up. All right, let's go. Turn off Daniel Tiger. It's time to move. I'm usually like Again, it depends. But yeah, if if she's coming home from like some errands or something. Yeah. Then I get up. I think you got I'm like I'm like sitting. Yeah. Sounds like you're a sitter. Sounds like you're some guys who are I I am you. I opportunistic sitter. So, if my wife's coming in from like a girls night or something, then yeah, I'm going to sit and continue watching the game because, you know, Nicks matter more to me than my relationship or whatever team. So, yeah, that's that's that that takes more precedence in that time. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Like get up and like grab it like like w like should I have like a a drink ready? Like you know when they welcome you to the resort and they have like a drink ready like Yeah. like oh up drink sort of cool.
All right, welcome everyone. This is another episode of Nonsense. This is a place where men reaching their middle ages can talk about their feelings and talk about all the things that they deal with. Whether it's coming of age, becoming a dad, uh managing a relationship, or managing your career. Often times, men don't find spaces to have these open conversations, and we leave no stone unturned. So, so welcome folks. We have a big episode today. We're going to be talking about lots of stuff. Um, but I think our biggest topic I want to talk about and I want to pose this question to you is kind of travel and then within that traveling as you remember as a kid versus traveling now as a parent likes, dislikes, differences, what do you see? I know it's a lot, but take it any which way you want to go. Truly, leave no stone unturned. No stone unturned. I don't know. All right, let's start with the traumatic stories. You guys have any traumatic travel stories? Not super traumatic. I mean, I don't have a traumatic story, but something that sticks out to me, which I wouldn't do now as an adult, is we'd have family visit from Pakistan when I was younger, and we would rent a car and drive up to Niagara Falls and go there. Yeah. And we pack all the food that we we we could possibly take for every single meal. Kebab kebab sandwich. Kebab roll packed. And not even kebab sandwiches. They were like kettle to make the ch like they were they were you know just a plain kebab in bread biryani um you know chicken like barbecue chicken tanduri wrapped in foil. and we take it up there, watch the waterfall of Niagara Falls and eat biryani there. And that's that's like the one thing that sticks out. Those are like core memories, right? Like going on a road trip with your with your family. And I feel like the definition of a vacation for me as a kid versus what my kids think about, you know, for a vacation, totally night and day. Would you do that now? Would you the road trip? No, absolutely not. Why? It's too much work. But but I think there's some uh trauma to that because now you got to try if you ever travel with your parents now, it's it's a miserable experience for them because you take them to any restaurant that's not a di restaurant, game over. You will never hear the end of this. They're like they want home food. They want home food. They want food. Right. So, so you end up like there's no travel I've done with my parents where we don't just go to Indian restaurants and inevitably they'll strike up a conversation with the restaurant owner asking where they're from and like I feel like the same conversation happens every single time over and over. So, you said it was a core memory, but was it a core memory because you hadn't experienced anything else that was better or what is it? What is it like truly a core memory? I think the core memory part is having those experiences with my family, the road trips, the memories, you know, unique childhood uh type of Did your parents take you guys uh traveling outside the US? All the time. Nice. Hardly ever. So, wow. Yeah, we did one trip when I was like 11 or 12 to England and and Pakistan. I mean, we stopped over in England and we went biryani biryani of course, right? saw a bunch of dies, more diesis in England than you know Pakistan. And that was it. That's why I say the definition of traveling is so different for me versus my kids. Traveling as a kid was just road trips and even the road trips. Most of them were like day trips, right? So there's a I grew up around LA. There's a a place called Salvang. It's like a Danish themed little town. Quaint, beautiful. So anytime somebody from out of town would come, we were going to Salving. Yep. And we would drive all the way up there. It's like three hours away. Castle. Did you guys go to the castle? None of that. Just to Solving Castle Street. Castle probably involved tickets. And we weren't doing anything with tickets. Right. So we would go to Sang. We would walk down the street a little bit. Uh and we wouldn't buy food. We would have the kebab rolls. Of course. And then we would drive home. And that's six or seven hours of driving for like two hours of being in Sang. And that was the whole trip. I Oh man, this this like struck a chord because other times when family would visit us in New York, we would take them and they would come during winter time. Yeah. And we'd take them to see the Christmas tree, the Rockefeller Christmas tree. Yeah. God forbid we ever got out and like explored and walked and like the the you know the uh windows that were decorated and stuff like that. No, everyone was in the car. We waited an hour because it was jam-packed in traffic. And literally the two seconds we'd get it would be like and be like, "Oh, decor tree. That's it." And then like, "Oh, that's it. Sorry. Time's up. Time's up." And us kids were just like raw dogging in the back, right? Like we didn't have no iPads, nothing. Like six, seven hours of driving. You're just like quiet, happy. You're just happy to be out of the house, not watching like, you know. It's it's crazy because I have so many memories that there was other times where um family would come for the 4th of July and we would spend the entire day in sweltering heat in Manhattan. Yeah. On the FDR like I have core memories of like carrying the cooler and stuff like that. The cooler had kebab roll sham kebabs and I love it. Yeah. Amazing. And um yeah, we we'd be there till night. Did you guys ever go to Pakistan or Y that one trip I did was to Pakistan. Yeah. Uh the traumatic part, you asked about trauma. I mean, there's a lot of trauma actually on that trip. So, I take back when I said I didn't have any trauma on these trips, but the the mosquitoes. So, one day I was like, you know, my cousin, older cousin, I was like, you know, let's go. We'll we'll sleep outside, you know, it's so hot, you know, let's sleep outside. By like, I don't know, 3:00 in the morning. We're just like bit up and all like, you know, and then like the diarrhea and just everything, right? Like everything compounded. Why do you have such sweet blood? You're such a sweet guy. Sergeant, you're such a sweet guy. Like really, it was so we met so many people. So much family. Um, and I think about like how that compares to travel now because like my kid, it's such a different experience. So different. So different. So I mean, thinking about how different it is for me versus my kids. My oldest kid is 10 years old. by now he's, you know, thankfully been on multiple flights and has all these like kind of interesting experiences. The first time I went on a plane, I think I was like 10 and we went to Houston. My mom and her sister, so my kala went to Houston to meet our mamu. We stopped over in Phoenix because the tickets are cheaper that way on Southwest back in the day, right? Like everything was around an economic decision, right? everything, every like like down to the smallest detail was all always around how do you optimize the dollar, right? And now I feel lucky to be able to not always have to do that, right? Obviously I'm so cheapkate because I grew up like that, but it's not as not as bad for sure. How about you? You have to remember the first like 11 years I grew up in Pakistan. So when I were in Pakistan, we we kind of had similar vacations. we go to Bangladesh because that was like where my family is from. Um and very interesting experience because for whatever reason my family is much taller than most Bangladeshies. So just a a humble brag here. Okay. Sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. Yeah. But it's fun because every time we'd go, it's just like uh you go there and you look like giant like compared to other kids compared to Do people like look at you like all like weird and they're just like like who are you? I mean they'd have to turn off ceiling fans so that we don't hit our head. That was weird. Were they like shopping to take pictures with you? No. So there one one clear my first memory I have going to Bangladesh is somebody knocks on the door. I show up. I go outside and there's six kids holding like a big like blanket. Like they're all holding like one corner of it and they're like, "Uh, we're here to kidnap you." I'm like, "Let me call the parents." But that's when I was like, "Dude, I'm not messing around with people here." But it definitely stood out. So like somehow they found out I I live here. Oh my god. Never told anybody this story, by the way. Really? What? Yeah. Yeah. Why were they What do you mean? So then it was like, "How old are these kids? These are like 12 year olds. And how old are you at this time? I'm like eight. Wow. But why are they there to kidnap you? You're just like the privileged guy. Like they're just I don't know why. Prank joke. Apparently this happened. Like apparently this is a thing where like it's not a prank. Not a prank. Like and I should not have gone up to the Wow. So I'm like that's pretty insane that that happened. And like there were Wait, what? I have not seen this many human beings anywhere. Like I don't know if you guys have been to like dense populated places but it was insane. Oh I mean I'm from there so that was like is traveling a good idea? Have you been to China? No. Not yet but I'm sure that place is pretty dense. Pretty crazy. Pretty dense too. Okay. So like everyone's has like these core memories of travel. When you finally were able to travel on your own. Yeah. And you didn't have to quote unquote slum it or do it the way that your parents did it. What was the first luxury that you indulged in? Anything not kebab roll. Yeah. Yeah. Good question. I don't I don't really remember. I think more than uh financial indulgences, I think it was an independence of of traveling in a in a new way. So, when I really started traveling independently, it was it was in college. So, I would go I would go stay in host. My voice cracked. Did you hear that? It's cuz puberty puberty is still on. Either this was true or false, who knows? So, I would go stay in host, the backpacking. Yeah, it was really like fun. It was fun. And and some some places I would go completely by myself, like countries um in on my own. Like the first place I went to when I went to Europe was Amsterdam. Like landed by completely by myself. Like 21 I 20 something like that. This recipe for disaster. Total disaster. I'm surprised I'm here in front of you guys. Oh my god. And it was uh I think yeah no I I was like no no
did you find your kid in there or your I saw the glow of red lights but I don't even know about that whole district nothing head down. So yeah. Yeah. Uh so you know what's crazy? Okay, speaking of like me traveling, parents, whatever. Before I went to Amsterdam, my dad's like he's like, "So you're gonna go to Amsterdam?" I was like, "Oh shit." Like does he know? Like what's going on? He's like, "I've been there. It's a great city." And that's all he said. That's all he said. I was like, "Legend. Legend." Okay. you know, but I think I think uh like have you guys done an apples to apples comparison of a trip you took with your parents and one that you've taken with your kids? Yeah, that's a good question. I haven't done that yet. So, I I don't know if this happened. You guys probably were cool traveling, but I was when I first moved here was August 15th, 2001. No way. Wow. Okay. So, that that's like very great. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not going to be that guy, but I have to be that guy. That is very peculiar timing, man. That like Pakistan's waiting independence day. I don't I don't know. And then also and also like 3 weeks before 9/11 like 3 to four weeks before I I looked at my passport. I'm like this guy Pakistani passport lived in Saudi. His favorite game is Flight Simulator. They're looking for me. I knew it. But September 12th, my chacha calls me. He's like, "You know what? I gotta tell you something. In college, they're going to tell you all these things. They're gonna say you have your voice and you can be free. Don't listen to any of that [ย __ย ] Don't say [ย __ย ] You're not traveling for the next six years until you get your US citizenship." Wow. Head down. Head down. Head down. Don't say anything to anybody. Stay focused. So, you didn't travel for that time. First time I travel from 2001, the next time is 2008 after I get my US citizenship. Took you like six years to get your degree. Oh citizenship. Yeah. Yeah. But uh then I went to Brazil. Wow. Whoa. Yeah. Tell them what happened there. I went to Rio and S. Paulo. And what happened there? I think that's I'll leave it at that. Yeah. Yeah. Was it Did you go with friends? Did you go solo? A really great library. I think he was telling me about it earlier actually. Yeah. What library? Yeah, library with a lot of red lights apparently. Yeah. No, I had a friend who like was from Brazil and I went to undergrad with him and he had just uh he he was going for going home. He Yeah, I I feel like you had to really throw that in there. I'm sure it was with him. He was going good. But um I I think the best travels I had was from like 2010 to 2017. Like I don't know if you guys had this time where like it's just you and your wife and you're traveling two to three times a year abroad. Yeah. And it's just great. Like everywhere you go, whatever you want. Like that was amazing. That was really a good time. Yeah, that was a good time. Like that was a good time. Four kids travel. Yeah, that was amazing. Yeah. Like there's no time when you wake up, when you go to sleep, go anywhere you want. Yeah. It's like freedom. Freedom. No. And then the most traumatic one I just had recently. Recently I feel like taking my kids on an airplane and them them just losing it. My daughter, she wanted to sit on the window, forgot about it. The plane lands, we get out of the airplane. She's like, "Oh crap, I wanted to sit on the window. Let's go back." I'm like, "No, doesn't work like that." Throws a fit and now I'm like kidnapping this little girl through the airport and she's screaming at the top of her lungs and her like motor operandanda when she gets that pissed just stand somewhere and just take off all her clothes. I'm like, "Oh, this is the worst." I'm like severely getting traumatized. Yikes. That's tough. So I I remember the first luxury that I indulged in after like traveling on my own was literally buying a coffee at the airport. Like my parents were so such sticklers on not getting anything. No snacks. We packed our own stuff. Everything was packed to the gills. And like I just remember packing really lightly. So like I had like a little backpack and like a rolly. You just get so and like I was like, "Wow, this is so nice." And like I have very fond memories of like jumping on the suitcase so that my dad could like pull the zipper close and then scale measuring and then we would measure and things like that. Things that my son h will never know about, right? because it's not like you know I think I know why I know all like there's a deep-seated reason that this happens is because wealth are too are we too privileged with no no I think I'm not saying we're wealthy but they were really really poor is kind of what it comes down to they it's not just that they were poor they like just kept listening to the news from Pakistan and the conversion rate they're like everything is so expensive because they convert like they never stopped converting stuff from dollars to rupees. And I think that's what became the problem. They're like, "Holy crap, a burger is 500 rupees. That's too expensive." Well, then now it's like 50,000 rupees for the same burger now. Totally. Like you lived there 50 years ago. Yeah. Why are you comparing here? Right. Yeah. And then I don't know if you guys have this like like there's never an opportunity that my dad lets go where like back in the day this used to cost Yeah, for sure. like 5 cents. I'm like dude there's no concept of inflation or compounding. No. Yeah. Like I'm like dude like there's no way I think changes in salary. But I do think about it. I think if they just knew the concept of compounding, they would have invested their money and maybe well I think they were also in a very like survivalist and everything is um fleeting you know they they ran from partition they ran from um other so are we too are we too privileged? Yeah, I mean I don't think we're too privileged, but I absolutely think that we're privileged, but that's a blessing, right? I think we've come a long way. I think our parents are probably really happy for it that you're able to buy your $15 lattes when you, you know, go go abroad. You don't think they want they you don't think there's a part of them that's like, "Oh man, I wish they took the biryani this time. I wish they took the shami kebab sandwich." Do they? Yeah. I mean, obviously they have a different sensitivity to the value of money. Where is the bond? Like my my dad and I have had multiple conversations around like, do do you really need this? Do you do you need a vehicle? It's like yes, uh I live in LA. I need a vehicle. You're going to have to pay for it. Yeah. Anyhow, I think I think it's uh what they sacrifice for. Yeah. They sacrificed so that I have the right to now go to a bougie Dy restaurant to buy a $20 product. Kab, here we come. Here we go. Here we go. Here we come. Consub. Shout out to Kab. Great. I don't think it's I don't think that is that you have the right, but you have the choice. I feel like they were selfless in some ways, but I'm just like when is it when does it stop? You got to spend on yourself. Like I don't know if you guys like ever have a finance conversation with your parents, but I'm like like you you like at some point you got to cash out on all of the savings, right? Two things that I cannot do because I will get eviscerated. Have a finance conversation with my parents and god forbid I have a finance conversation with my wife. That devolves into just like it's a you problem. These are like three people. Three people I have. Why do you think I'm on this podcast? So, both of you said, and this was a really good comment, that there was this golden period of travel, right? You were married or newly newly married and you traveled. It was like prekids. What why like what was that like? Well, I don't think it was necessarily that was the only golden period of travel. In the interest of my wife might hear this podcast, I'll say it was a really great period.
But this phase before that was also one of my favorite times that I was traveling because like I was saying earlier, I was traveling alone. I was exploring things through a different lens. So in my mind, there are different seasons of travel and yeah. So poetic. Yeah, it's very I'm like Roomie. They call me Roomie. So yeah, I think I think like when I was a kid, I didn't get to travel much really like big travel. I did these road trips, like I said, which were, you know, memories and I loved that. You're like an animal in caged, but I think it gave me a sense of adventure. It was like, okay, I didn't have that. I want to go do it. So then I I spent like a solid decade like that was a big part of who I was and that was part of my identity and that spilled over to the decade of being married. And I think I think the thing that makes it different than traveling with kids is yeah the level of freedom and independence, right? You can do anything, go anywhere. Like sky's is the limit. You're literally out there exploring things and totally spontaneous. I think my kids are the type of travel travelers that are affording us some level of that. But I got three kids. The youngest is still three. So there's like logistical, you know, constraints that we Sounds like you're not having a fun time. There's a lot to I'm having I'm having a great time. Get my wife get my wife on the show and they said otherwise. No, it's funny like uh we we took a trip recently and my my take on the trip like anytime people ask me like oh how was that trip to you know whatever. It was a great you know I had awesome time and then my wife is like uh yeah it was okay. I'm like and I'm like yeah it was okay. It was fine. It was fine. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're right. Like that does happen often like there are trips where like my wife's had a great time and I'm like oh I was just doing childcare is how I felt and other you feel like you're doing the childare there were times like do you want me to corroborate that with your wife? Yeah. Yeah. Then we'll see what hardships will I was going to mention which trip which trip were you on when you were doing the childcare. Let me let's unpack this for a minute. He was like doing he was doing child care at the cruise like on the cruise where they have child care. You know you have to get them ready. have to like sign a waiver. The nanny. Somebody has to watch the nanny. He's just hard. You have to read the waiver, you know, like come on. Delegate. Yeah. It not come. Okay. The value, the one where you knew you were having a great time was one where my son was a year and a half and we decided to leave him with my parents and travel for 10 days. 10 days. That was great. That's awesome. I love that. But it was it got a little contentious because halfway through like I was like, "All right, Zary, you got to go home. I'm going to take do the rest of the vacation myself because what I was missing my kid." Oh. But you sent your wife home. I want But she was like, "No, nobody nobody wanted to go." I think I think solo traveling while we've been married and have kids is like a whole different topic. And I think all three of us can relate to that. Especially Oh, business trip. Yeah, business trip. Yeah, totally. or or business trip or some sort of retreat maybe. Did you take like a retreat somewhere? We don't talk about this. Just business trip. It was a business trip. Yeah. Can you explain the elements of that business trip? I mean like I for the first time. Was there any business that was actually conducted on that business? I'll tell you like did you sign any deals? It wasn't about the deals but the the thing involving money for the first time I experienced an outdoor shower. What was that part of the business deal? outdoor shower, right? What were you What were you asking? What even is an outdoor shower? No, I experienced an outdoor shower, but not in a business deal. Yeah. I mean, what the hell?
Can you please tell me what what what happened? Like every trip that I take without my wife after kids has some should help your business in some way is what I how I justify it. I'm not going on a solo retreat. I think I think it's a different topic altogether. Then we have to come back to it. Your mother has to get his notes right. You got to get your notes right. Yeah. Yeah. Like I think there's some data that's trying to like he needs to like prompt Chad GPT like I've got a really sensitive situation here with solo retreats. Yeah. Can you come back with like a proper answer outdoor outdoor showers? How do I answer this? Yeah. But have you like outdoor shower? Come on, guys. What What am I supposed to say? I mean, I've done outdoor showers at the beach. Yeah, sure. Yeah. But I don't think that's But his wasn't at I don't think that's what he's talking about. This is my hotel room. Dude, he has like a core memory of this. Like there's something there. Yeah, totally. Like this. Was it with someone? No. What do you wear or not wear in an outdoor shower? But you're like it's like you're there's nothing. You're like you're like Nunga. You're na in the jungle. You're even Tarzan have the decency to have the little loin cloth. blowing cloth. Mowgli head of the red jacket. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but you're like, "No." You don't need it. Wow. Wow. Okay. Wow. And you can see the ocean. How far we've come. Okay. Where were you? Let's Come on. Yeah. Where were we? In Mexico. Quicksa, Mexico. Cosml, Mexico. Quicksa. Oh, okay. Where's that? Which place? Some random ass place. I have no idea where it is, but Were you drugged? Like like were you like Okay. Okay. Okay, I have to get Can I get cartel? All right, I think I think I have to break the whole story. Please, there's a lot of gaps. The problem is, you know, I just there's a chance my wife hears this, so it's fine. So, several several um year a couple of years ago, opportunity for a and by the way, your wife is not listening to this. She has better things to do. None of our wives are going to bother. We should admit that. That's a great Anyway, had an opportunity to go to a couple's retreat. Obviously, I'm lazy and not the planner. I missed the opportunity and my wife's like, "All right, dude. Like, come on. You got to like get stay on top of these things." Next year comes around and I book the coup's retreat. And this is not some cheap couples. It's gonna be very expensive. I was like, "Dude, I'm gonna do this. It's gonna be amazing. We're gonna leave the kids with the parents and go there." Turns out the couple's retreat is in the middle of Ramadan. And they're like, "There's no way I'm going." Wait. Yeah. And then your response to that was I was like, "I already paid the money." Oh my god. Somebody's got to go and and there's like no refund on that. There's no refund. So, okay. So, you're no different than your parents. We've come full circle. Basically, you you might be spending a higher dollar amount. You're still cheaping out in the biggest way possible. Somebody's got to Yeah. Right. How did that conversation go with your wife? It was interesting. No. What does interesting mean, dude? Like I How did you think I think we were trying to unpack the shower? And now you're unpacking, dude. There's I want to unpack the unpack. Yeah, I think just re repack everything up. Put it back. Put it back on the shelf. Okay, fine. Fine. But outdoor showers, that's the outdoor showers. Moral of the story by yourself. That's not a moral at all. Actually, I think the definition of world Yeah. I I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened. Okay. Well, when I travel alone for for business, it certainly isn't like that. Um, no, no outdoor showers. Wait, wait. Are we closing it out? Not yet. You got more to say? Yeah, we could chat more about this. There's a lot of travel talk. Your experience is very different from my business travel experience. I want to hear about yours. because you sound and and and like very glamorous and you're like, you know, like full nude and you're like, "Yeah, I'm showering outdoors." Never done this before. No, that's not like totally not what I did. I had to go to Dubai recently and uh it was a great, you know, very awesome experience, but I I also felt like a loser because I was like, I don't know what to do. Like, an indoor shower. Yeah, I had an indoor shower. Okay. I I wasn't free. I wasn't free, you know? I just wanted to hang out and I couldn't. Okay. So, Oh, yeah. Why? So, why did you feel like a loser? Because it's like what am I going to do as a guy? Like, single person going to all of these tourist locations and and hot spots and cute cafes. Like, what am I I'm just going to take a I'm just going to become an Instagrammer, like an influencer, and take photos of myself with like sunglasses. You have any co-workers? You could just take outside of that. It's different. Like, I did a little bit of that, but it's it's different, right? like there's so much to see and I don't know but assuming you just have time for yourself which I've had that too but why you don't have to do it just for the for the gram right you could just like go and have nice meals or go but I think I think there's something there's something interesting why didn't you feel like doing that it just didn't feel like I was food is great food was great right so I experienced food I ate a bunch of at a bunch of restaurants um you know by myself which kind of felt like a loser uh sometimes, but it was a good humbling experience. Um but other times I was just like, "Yeah, I wonder what they would think about this." I would I wonder what my son would think about this. I I wonder I I connected with I reached out to a bunch of friends. You know, timing was also kind of weird because it was so quick. I took an employee to Bali with me because I didn't want to go by myself. I don't know what sort of business you're doing, but it is not the business that I do. You are just totally digging your own grave. You guys have to hear this story, though. So, okay. You took Wait, let me get this straight. You took Okay. Was this same gender, different gender? Same gender. I'm not going to take a not same gender. Doesn't matter. Does it? And should it matter? Should it matter? Does it matter? Should it matter? Okay. So, tell us. Okay. You You took an employee that worked with you. Yeah. So, I go to Singapore for a couple of weeks for work. Do you have a family at this point? I mean, a wife. So, and you just get up and you're like, "Peace, I'm out for a few weeks." Couple of weeks. Yeah. Like, and like the wife didn't say anything. I mean, I don't know how we pulled this off, but it worked out. I was like, "Hey, you should come with me." She's like, "I got my job." I was like, "All right, I'm gone." So, I go there and obviously like you're hanging out with your team. And this buddy of mine from Japan barely speaks any English. And I'm like, "Hey, what are you doing this weekend?" And he's like, "Where can we go?" He's like, "Bali, $40 return ticket." Like, "Dude, that's Matt Cheap from uh Singapore. We got to go." And uh he's like, "I know where the where to stay." And so it turns out again this like couples this like coup's retreat 2.0. He's like, "Book this like super s nice place." And we go there and he's like, "Imad, do you want to get a massage?" I'm like, "What do you mean?" He's like, "Yeah, they have couples massage." So, my buddy and me, you know, you and an employee got a couple's massage. Totally. Wait, he's your employee? Yeah. I mean, he's like my coworker, right? But does he But he's your employee. Are you the manager? Yeah. I'm not the direct manager. I'm not his direct man. But does he work for your company? Does he basically is is he at the same level as you? He's not one level junior. Okay. But noted. Yeah. Noted for the file. Okay. So, it's great. There are so many HR violations in this and like deal you guys first time you're hearing this story, right? You guys have never heard this story before. So another thing I learned about myself on this trip. How how do you guys feel about getting massages by the way? Like you guys get massages? Yeah. I It was awkward at first, but now I'm I'm like down with it. Yeah. I'm all in. I'm all You have a preference for gender of the masseuse? Um, tough question. I don't I don't have a preference. I don't have a preference. I know you say that, but like No, no, honestly, I don't have a preference. Yeah. Okay. You've had both male, female. I've had both male and female. Yeah. I've had both. Okay, that's good. So, me, I'm like I'm not used to massages at this point. I'm like I don't really love them. My wife at this point, like when I'm when I'm in Bali, right? Yeah. My buddy's like, "Hey, we're going to get a massage." We're like there getting massage international run. I am like all I've heard about massages is that end of the end and happy endings. I'm like, "This is really awkward. I don't know where this is going to go. Um, the massage starts like about I can't even tell how much time had gone by. Like 45 minutes go by and like this is the first time like I'm not the first time but like one of the first few times I'm like actually getting a massage. I'm like, "Oh, this is actually not bad." Yeah. And then um and this lady Indonesian doesn't speak a lick of English. Like but at some point I mean where's where are your prompt engineering skills, dude? Like at this point I'm trying to figure out am I okay with this? Am I not okay with this? Is my wife okay with this? Is she not okay with this? Did you call your wife? I did not. I mean I'm I'm sure I I'm pretty sure I was talking to her. Obviously, she knew where I was to break the covenant of your marriage, but okay, continue. But at some point, she leans in and it's like, "Is it's okay." And I'm like, "Oh, [ย __ย ] What's about to happen?" I don't know what she meant, but I was like, "I think I'm good. You got to get out of here." And that was the end of my body. So, you didn't get the massage or you did? I ended the massage now. I was like, "All right, I'm good. Thank you. I got to go." It was a little different than I was expecting. Yeah. Yeah. It was It wasn't a while. It just didn't hit the climax that I was thinking it might. Yeah. Yeah. See, you were expecting a climax, right? It's kind of antilimatic. Very antilimatic. I want to close out this segment strong, so I have a few rapid fire questions. Yeah. Window seat or aisle? Isle all day. Easy access, escape, restroom, mobility. Yeah. Okay, cool. I'm a window seat guy. I usually pass. I don't know who like would prefer aisle seat over I know. Okay. Hotel or Airbnb? Depends on the hotel. Okay. I'm a hotel guy. I'm kind of over Airbnb. Like I don't want I don't want a shitty hotel. Would you prefer a kid meltdown in the security line or on the plane? Never. What the? That's a trick question, brother. Yeah. I don't know. What? Wherever my wife can manage it better. Oo, cuz you won't be right. That's that's Yeah. Yeah. Of course, Mr. Hands Off. No. Uh, I think I think security lane. One airport snack that you always buy before getting on to the plane. You don't buy a snack. Not every time. Not every time. What do you buy? I get I get a maybe a Cliff Bar or something. I get a coffee and sometimes depends, but like depends diaper. Depends. Like the diapers. Not the same thing, but it depends. either some nuts or uh better. So now I want to get to our dad dilemma. Thank you for participating in the travel section. Uh I think we had some lovely conversation there. Uh what are we what are we facing this week? All right. I I I guess I got a dilemma. Um you have so many dilemmas, man. The entire show was a dilemma. The entire show was a moral dilemma of you of of yours. Welcome to my life. If I'm Larry David in real life, you guys go to uh you guys take your kid to the pediatrician. Yep. Every time I'm at every every single So I'm like nine out of 10 most of the time. Right. So I go do that. Only happens once a year at this point, dude. I like out of 10. No, but the times he gets the times that he gets sick. The times that he gets sick. What about those? What is that? One more time a year. Why are you taking him to the pediatrician every time he gets sick? You just give him some Tylen or like So you go to the doctor, you a doctor does a checkup, they're like, "Everything's good." You come home, your wife's like, "Hey, did you ask about this? Did you ask about that?" I'm like, "No, like I wasn't I didn't know I was supposed to. You should have gone if you really wanted to get all the questions answered, right?" Yeah. I'm like, "We have a shared as a dad." We've got a shared no. Wow. So she makes sure I don't goof it up. Totally. So she has no trust in you. Oh, would you? Knowing you? No. I mean, I can get the kid to the doctor. Fair, right? All the analytics around trying to ask the right question, it's too much. So, I think we're we're we've learned our lesson now at this point that that's always that you're not going to go to the doctor. But I think this dilemma you'll just be traveling somewhere. I don't think I could do any task without using an outdoor shower. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. How about you guys? Any dilemmas? No, I I think I've experienced that maybe a little bit, but just generally speaking, like my wife will ask me to do something and it's not the way that she envisions it. I just do it according to how I see, you know, that it needs to get done and she'll just be like, "Did you do this? Did you ask about this? Why didn't you do it this way?" I don't know. My brain operates differently. Like, what do you want me to say? you know, like I I I didn't The problem with the shared thing is like [ย __ย ] will always go haywire. Like every the situation that you would not have imagined is the one that actually happened. Like Yeah. And then it's like how much stuff can you share? Yeah. I mean, I think it's just like the main headlines that we try to tackle, but uh obviously some things get left out. Then like I don't ask follow-up questions because like if you do ask the qu doctor the question the doctor answers Yeah. I might not have the follow-up question that the wife have. Your wife would have. Yes. Right. I get that, right? Yeah. That this is like why we haven't incompetence. I think generally you were in I think that's what we're talking about here. Chad GPT like hey hold on doctor. Let me ask you what follow-up question I need to ask you. Like so I'm an idiot and I don't know how to do anything. So that's actually an interesting idea. What if you train up Chad GPT with all the questions my wife would ask and then that's going to be problematic for the the amount of data sharing you're putting out there. I have a different dad dilemma. Uh so I don't know about you guys but growing up I was never really around dogs because you know Muslim household dogs. Yeah. There's no fistas man. Yeah. There's a whole thing about that right. So I wasn't I wasn't very comfortable about Yeah. Are you calling me a gut? Is that what you gi? So I wasn't very comfortable with dogs, but I kind of grew out of it over time. What has happened is one of my kids is the same way, not very comfortable around dogs and to the point that we thought it might be like a phobia almost. And a few days ago, we had to go to someone's house where they have a a puppy. Uh like kind of a a decent sized puppy, very rambunctious, playful. So, and all the kids were kind of playing in the backyard where this dog is. And the question was in my mind, you know, how much support do I provide my child as they're kind of dealing with this this issue that I personally like remember and have trauma around, but do I index to my own trauma and like overprotect or do I let you know the child like figure it out? Experience. Yeah. And uh you know I I I think was so in my own head about it and what ended up happening was uh the dog was around and all of us were kind of playing and by the end of it my kid was totally comfortable like playing petting and it you know the dilemma there in my mind was overthinking versus like letting things go a little. Well, you've gone too far now because they now want a dog and you're like, "Oh my god, my kids my my other two kids want a dog already." Really? Uh, yeah. So, I'm going to I'm going to lean back on that. Okay. All right. Next thing you know, you're starting to eat pork. Yeah. Oh my god. That That's straight to pork. Escalated quickly. I got fertilizer in your fridge. That was a deep uh wild turn. Wild turn. Until next time. All right, folks. That is a wrap. Thanks so much for listening to Nonsense. Every week, we take the nonsense and make some naan out of it. Thanks to my co-hosts, Ajit and Hammad, for being co-pilots in this wonderful, wonderful episode. And to everyone in our audience, don't forget to rate, like, and subscribe. You can find us on Instagram, Nonsense Show, and on YouTube as well. Until next time, keep eating and making that nong. We'll see you later. We're gonna have to find a better tagline.
There's no not cheesy.