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Welcome to the Rebel Ninja Parent Series, the show for parents raising confident, resilient kids. Coach Andrew shares real talk and actionable tools to help your child build unstoppable confidence, a resilient mindset, and the social skills to thrive in any situation.
Coach Andrew (00:13)
Hello and welcome to today's episode. It's already our 27th episode. I have some really cool guests on the show today that I will introduce you
Tina Nguyen (00:18)
Thank
Coach Andrew (00:23)
guys to in just a second. And I do want to say a couple of thank yous to our listeners. We are now at 2,412 downloads.
Tina Nguyen (00:28)
Okay.
Coach Andrew (00:34)
And this likes, thank you. I think
Tina Nguyen (00:36)
Good morning, I'm Lee Thomas.
Coach Andrew (00:38)
this started it might have been April or May.
I should know when this started, but um 2412 downloads, and there are a couple of people who said thank you. I want to read some of these thank you
Tina Nguyen (00:50)
Yes.
Coach Andrew (00:51)
notes if that's all right with you guys. So I have a message from Maya. Maya, she said, Hi Coach Andrew, I just want to say thank you for the work you are doing. I don't know how to say what I want to say with fluency, and I'm refusing to use AI for assistance. I want this to come from my heart. Please forgive me if
Tina Nguyen (01:10)
you
Coach Andrew (01:10)
this sounds disjointed.
As a child who was bullied through school, the only tool in my toolbox was to make myself as invisible as possible. I finally feel really seen and understood. I was blessed with a child who is now seven. Every day when I send her to school, there's a part of me that frets that she will experience what I experience and it's tough. My parents, God bless them, didn't have the knowledge or skills to teach me how to protect my sensitive soul.
I only just discovered you a few weeks ago, but I believe you have helped heal my inner child many times over. You are giving me tools that I can pass on to my daughter, and I'm so grateful. I just want to say thank you. and I will share uh and I will say, Maya, if you're listening, um, what a beautiful message and thank you so much. I will continue to do my best to uh add as much value as I can.
And I have one more thank you from Rachel. Rachel says, Hey, just wanted to say that my 11-year-old son and I love your videos. I wish we had found these years ago when the bullying first started. You do an amazing job of being relatable to young boys and making your videos super interesting while still teaching them so much. He did years of therapy, and I feel like he's learned way more from your little videos than he did in therapy.
He's already practiced your techniques of staying calm and working on facial expressions when his teammates were trying to provoke him. Keep up the good work. I am so grateful we found you. Um, you are very welcome, Rachel. And uh I'll keep trying to come up with the most efficient and practical tools that you can use immediately. And I also say, uh, my training does not replace therapy, but therapy and this training they go hand in hand. So just kind of
putting that out there. I don't wanna uh downplay the any therapy sessions. Okay. Now I have some wonderful guests that I want to introduce. Uh let's start with Xander. Xander, how old are you and what do you like to do for fun?
Tina Nguyen (03:19)
So I'm six and I like...
Coach Andrew (03:22)
Ooh, what kind of art?
Tina Nguyen (03:25)
Painting.
Coach Andrew (03:27)
Finger painting.
What kind of painting?
Tina Nguyen (03:33)
with a pink brush.
Coach Andrew (03:34)
With a paintbrush. You know, there's different kinds though. There's like isn't there like watercoloring and like what is it? Is it pastel and oil painting? What
Tina Nguyen (03:44)
Yeah, I
use I yeah, I do use water painting.
Coach Andrew (03:50)
Ooh. Are there like certain things you like to paint like nature, people, food?
Tina Nguyen (04:01)
to paint like swirls and stuff.
Coach Andrew (04:04)
Swirls. Nice. Have you ever tried painting like no wait. I don't know that could is that a thing? Painting tie-dye? It's like do you know what that is? you do?
Tina Nguyen (04:17)
yeah is it
like spray tie-dye on like a shirt or something
Coach Andrew (04:22)
Yeah, yeah,
yes, yes, yes. Have you done that before?
Tina Nguyen (04:25)
Yes. I've only
Coach Andrew (04:27)
Can you
Tina Nguyen (04:27)
done it one time though, but I did it like really amazing.
Coach Andrew (04:32)
Nice. You know how many times I've done it?
Tina Nguyen (04:36)
10 20
Coach Andrew (04:37)
Zero.
Zero times. It was like
Tina Nguyen (04:40)
Bye.
Coach Andrew (04:41)
always a a bunch of kids at school would do it. I'm like, how did you do that? And then it's always like, that's so cool. I don't know how to do that. And then I just never did it. So Xander, you're only six and you already did a tie-dye shirt way before me.
Tina Nguyen (04:56)
Yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah.
Coach Andrew (04:59)
I should probably
do you think it's pretty hard?
Tina Nguyen (05:03)
Now you just need to squirt paint and like, but you have to like tie it to make the shape of it first.
Coach Andrew (05:10)
Do you do you just like go like this with the shirt, just crumple it up into like a ball?
Tina Nguyen (05:16)
No.
Coach Andrew (05:17)
You have to squeeze it like like that?
Tina Nguyen (05:20)
No, you had to like make the shape with like these rubber bands.
Coach Andrew (05:29)
But you don't think it's that hard? You think anyone can do it?
Tina Nguyen (05:33)
I can't do it. I can
Coach Andrew (05:35)
Wait, you
Tina Nguyen (05:36)
only do the part one, like squeeze it all over.
Coach Andrew (05:41)
So
you need help, probably like teamwork.
Tina Nguyen (05:45)
Yeah, but when I was at my cousin's house, my friend, my cousin's mom, she um did the shapes for us. She only knows how to do the swirl shapes. Swirls. Yeah.
Coach Andrew (06:01)
Sounds like that sounds pretty fun already. Now
let's let's have mom introduce herself. Mom, what's your name? What
Tina Nguyen (06:08)
and go.
Coach Andrew (06:08)
do you like to do for fun?
Tina Nguyen (06:10)
Hi, I'm Tina and what I like to do for fun, I guess at this age is being a mom and then going to the gym sometimes. Mommy, that is not fun. Being a mom is not fun, I guess for some people it's not fun, but I enjoy being a mom. I enjoy it.
Coach Andrew (06:29)
that's that's awesome. I think that's really
important to enjoy being a mom. And being a mom is easy or is it challenging?
Tina Nguyen (06:38)
Yeah, it's super challenging especially since you know I I don't know like maybe you and I were raised in a generation where soft parenting wasn't really around Yeah
Coach Andrew (06:51)
Mm-hmm.
Tina Nguyen (06:57)
uh
Coach Andrew (06:53)
And it's also a bit of a cultural thing too. Um Tina, share
with us like what is your ethnicity?
Tina Nguyen (07:01)
I'm Vietnamese.
Coach Andrew (07:02)
Yeah.
Tina Nguyen (07:03)
I'm Vietnamese and my husband is Chaldean. So,
Coach Andrew (07:06)
Yes, yes.
Tina Nguyen (07:09)
and we're first generation here. So.
Coach Andrew (07:12)
Yeah. Would you say your
your both of your parents, his parents and your parents, were they pretty strict?
Tina Nguyen (07:18)
Yes, very
Coach Andrew (07:20)
Yeah.
Tina Nguyen (07:20)
strict and very you just don't do it because he said so.
Coach Andrew (07:25)
Right, right, right, right.
the authoritative style of parenting. Um, but now there's
Tina Nguyen (07:30)
Yes.
Coach Andrew (07:30)
a lot more information today and we're I think we're all just trying to learn and try to do the very best that we can. Be supportive, but also be like strong and firm with our boundaries at the same time. Right.
Tina Nguyen (07:41)
Yes.
Coach Andrew (07:41)
Um, yeah. And so like for today's topic, we just wanted to go over a couple of different things. Like, I think for a lot of kids, it's like how do we
make friends and make new friends and overcome those challenges. And then what if sometimes some of our new friends don't treat us the right way? So a couple
Tina Nguyen (08:02)
Bye.
Coach Andrew (08:03)
of questions for Xander, which by the way, Xander, we just it like we just finished Halloween. What did you dress dress up as, by the way?
Tina Nguyen (08:12)
Don't sleep.
Coach Andrew (08:14)
A dumpling? How do you how do you dress up as a dumpling? Do you uh
Tina Nguyen (08:18)
Mommy,
you made it or did you buy it? No, I made it.
Coach Andrew (08:23)
my goodness. Wait, wait, wait. I
I I think you showed it to me. Is it made out of cardboard?
Tina Nguyen (08:28)
I felt.
Coach Andrew (08:30)
What is that?
Tina Nguyen (08:31)
It's a uh material that's kind of soft, you can stiffen it. glue something on the back to make it stiff like a cardboard.
Coach Andrew (08:39)
Oh, and you wear it in front of you, right? Uh
Tina Nguyen (08:41)
Yeah. So, my mom
just like, cutted all the pieces to make the shape and then we blow that.
Coach Andrew (08:47)
Nice.
Tina Nguyen (08:49)
And then like, drew the face. Mommy did the face. I drew the face.
Coach Andrew (08:51)
Wow, mom's talented
mother. So Xander, did you did you just tell mom like, I want to be a dumbling?
Do you by chance have a dumbling squishy? Aha. I knew it. I knew it. Okay.
Tina Nguyen (09:07)
you oh
Coach Andrew (09:12)
Um now the the question I had for you is actually, what do you think? What do you think is the reason why maybe making new friends can be hard sometimes for kids?
Tina Nguyen (09:32)
Because sometimes they're like shy to introduce.
Coach Andrew (09:36)
Oh like to say something like Hi, my name is Xander or Hi, my name's Billy. What okay, this is actually I think you're right and they're like they're afraid to introduce themselves. But let's see if we can go even further. Why do some kids get afraid of introducing themselves? What do you think?
Tina Nguyen (09:57)
Rejection.
Maybe the other kids might reject them. Maybe that's why they're scared. Yeah.
Coach Andrew (10:06)
Ooh, okay, okay, okay. Okay. Now let's go even further. Why would a kid be afraid of rejection? Like why would they even be thinking about that?
Tina Nguyen (10:18)
Jackson
Coach Andrew (10:20)
let's
talk about that real quick. So rejection basically means that someone doesn't like you. They don't want to play with you. It's kind of like you say, hello, my name is and then they go, No, I don't want to be your friend. That's rejection. They don't want to be friends with you. They just say no. Or another word for reject or another way to be rejected is like, ask mom right now. Turn to mom and say, Can I have a hundred dollars?
Tina Nguyen (10:46)
Can I have a hundred dollars? No.
Coach Andrew (10:48)
And that's what rejection is. Someone says no to you. All right. Now ask her for a million dollars.
Tina Nguyen (10:54)
A million? No.
Coach Andrew (10:57)
So there you go.
And that's what rejection is. But rejection from friends is usually what really hurts because you just want to make some new friends. Right. So the question was, um, why are some kids even thinking about rejection?
Tina Nguyen (11:18)
Because they're afraid if the person doesn't like them.
Coach Andrew (11:22)
Yeah, yeah. They're afraid that the okay. But couldn't they just like walk up to someone and just be like, Hi, my name is and then not even think about rejection. There has to be a reason why they're being reminded of rejection.
Tina Nguyen (11:39)
because it's happened to them, probably. Yeah.
Coach Andrew (11:41)
Oh what do you think? Do you think mom's right? Ooh,
I think mom's right too. So maybe they've been rejected before. Do you think that if you've been rejected before, you bite you might be more careful when introducing yourself?
Mm. Okay, okay, all right. Now let's let's make this kind of fun. I want you to imagine if someone has been rejected before, do you think they're really, really brave or feeling kind of shy?
Tina Nguyen (12:14)
shy.
Coach Andrew (12:14)
Okay, okay, now imagine a shy kid. What does a shy kid what what does a shy kid look like? What are they doing that makes them look shy? How do you know?
Tina Nguyen (12:26)
yes!
Coach Andrew (12:27)
Where d what do you think they're doing with their eyes? Where do they look?
you think
Tina Nguyen (12:33)
down.
Coach Andrew (12:33)
Oh, good, good. Yes, they're looking down now. What about mm?
Their back. How does their back their posture? How does that look?
Tina Nguyen (12:44)
punches.
Coach Andrew (12:45)
Eek. Yeah, that's not so good. Um, okay, so eyes look down. Their back is hunching. Maybe what about this is a hard one. What do you think their body with like their arms? What are their arms doing?
Tina Nguyen (13:00)
They're going up.
Coach Andrew (13:01)
Yeah, like maybe their shoulders are kind of up. Do you think their hands are like just out? Or maybe do you think they're crossing their arms? Yeah. Very good. And if you see someone with the eyes looking down, arms are crossed, and kind of hunched back, does it look like they want to make friends or does it kind of look like they want to be like played by by themselves?
Tina Nguyen (13:27)
Play by themselves.
Coach Andrew (13:28)
Mm-hmm. But what do you think they actually want?
Tina Nguyen (13:34)
to place in a prison.
Coach Andrew (13:36)
Yeah. So do you think they're and so like when they're crossing the arms, they're looking down, they're hunched with their back, would you say they're they're looking really like like a warm, friendly person or cold wanting to be by themselves person? So warm or cold?
Tina Nguyen (13:54)
What?
Coach Andrew (13:55)
Well, warm, so warm kind of means like they're looking really friendly. Cold just kind of looks like they don't want to talk to anyone. So
Tina Nguyen (14:02)
Cool.
Coach Andrew (14:02)
yeah, they're looking cold, exactly. Hmm. Isn't that weird? They want to make friends, but then because they're looking cold, nobody talks to them. Isn't that kind of like backwards?
Tina Nguyen (14:20)
Mm-hmm.
Coach Andrew (14:21)
It is. So if someone is feeling shy.
Do you think it becomes much easier to make friends or much harder?
Tina Nguyen (14:31)
You
Coach Andrew (14:32)
Exactly. All right. Okay. Okay. So now how can we help somebody who's feeling shy? Because they might have well, I mean, like if if someone's looking cold, do you think they're doing it on purpose or is it by accident?
Tina Nguyen (14:50)
Bye bye!
Coach Andrew (14:51)
Yep, exactly. Do you ha do you think you've ever felt shy before?
Tina Nguyen (14:57)
Yeah?
Coach Andrew (14:57)
Yeah. Do you think when you if you go looking back in your memory, when you're feeling shy, do you think you were looking warm or do you think maybe you're accidentally looking cold?
Tina Nguyen (15:08)
I'm accidentally looking cold.
Coach Andrew (15:11)
Mm-hmm. Yep. And according to science, it's actually very normal for that to happen. Do you want to know the scientific word for it?
Tina Nguyen (15:21)
Yes.
Coach Andrew (15:22)
It's called a safety behavior. What does safety mean?
Tina Nguyen (15:29)
you're not in danger.
Coach Andrew (15:31)
huh, uhhuh, very good. So we like feeling safe, right?
Tina Nguyen (15:34)
Mm-hmm.
Coach Andrew (15:34)
What's a behavior
Tina Nguyen (15:38)
No need to be being good or bad.
Coach Andrew (15:41)
Mm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kinda like something you do, right? It could be good behavior, it could bad behavior. So what do you think a safety behavior means?
Tina Nguyen (15:57)
you do something right.
Coach Andrew (16:00)
Yep, wait yep. Uh something right that helps you feel what?
Tina Nguyen (16:06)
Safe. Safe.
Coach Andrew (16:08)
Yes, actually, well, it helps you make feel safe. And I think that sometimes it can be right, sometimes it can be wrong. Um, it doesn't make it right or wrong, but it could be either one. So a safety behavior actually is like what you just talked about earlier. It's like the eyes are looking down so they can feel safe. Or they're like hunching their back so they can feel safe. Or what was the other one? they might be crossing their arms so they can feel safe.
And then they look cold and then people go, Oh, maybe that person doesn't want to hang out and play with anybody. And then nobody walks up to them. And then they go, Huh, see, nobody wanted to play with me. Now do you think that person is going to stop doing their safety behaviors or they're going to keep doing their safety behaviors?
Tina Nguyen (16:52)
Keep doing it.
Coach Andrew (16:54)
Exactly. Now we gotta try and help uh anyone who might be feeling shy. What are some ideas? What can what can we do? If we're feeling shy, what's something that helps us like make some friends?
What do you w what would what would you try?
Tina Nguyen (17:13)
Introducing, that's what my mama always told me, that I do
Coach Andrew (17:16)
Yes.
Tina Nguyen (17:17)
want to do a different technique.
Coach Andrew (17:19)
Like what?
Tina Nguyen (17:22)
Hmm. I don't know.
Coach Andrew (17:25)
Maybe mama, maybe um, maybe mama has some memories of some things you've tried that has helped you make friends.
Tina Nguyen (17:34)
ah You could always ask and see what they're playing, so maybe you can join in.
Coach Andrew (17:38)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, very good, very good. Um by the way, Tina, Xander, do you guys know what makes us like other people?
Tina Nguyen (17:55)
What makes us like other people?
Coach Andrew (17:57)
Mm-hmm. And then become friends.
Tina Nguyen (17:59)
yeah. When you ask them questions about themselves.
Coach Andrew (18:04)
Oh
yeah. Okay. Can you tell us a little bit more? Like, w what do you mean?
Tina Nguyen (18:12)
ah You find something in common, compliment
Coach Andrew (18:16)
Ooh, okay, okay.
Tina Nguyen (18:18)
and common.
Coach Andrew (18:18)
Ooh, okay. So the two C's. Okay. So maybe we should
Tina Nguyen (18:21)
seats.
Coach Andrew (18:21)
pick that as a topic to share with our audience today.
Tina Nguyen (18:25)
Yes.
Coach Andrew (18:27)
Xander, what's like an example for those who might not know just yet? What's an example of a compliment? Like if you were to give mom a compliment?
Tina Nguyen (18:36)
your hair.
Coach Andrew (18:37)
That's wonderful. She does have some really nice hair. Um Tina, you do you style hair? Okay. Yeah, that ex explains it. You have an eye for style.
Tina Nguyen (18:43)
I do hair. No, Mommy,
who did your hair? Today I styled it, my coworkers do the color for me. It's a trade.
Coach Andrew (18:55)
Nice. That's the perk of uh having coworkers that also do hair. uh
okay, and then Xander. So very good compliment by the way. Uh do you know the difference between the ins did I ever tell you about inside and outside compliments yet?
Tina Nguyen (19:11)
Yes, he's still working on the inside compliment.
Coach Andrew (19:15)
Okay, okay. So uh Xander, when we say I like your hair, is that a inside or a outside compliment?
Tina Nguyen (19:23)
inside.
Coach Andrew (19:24)
Yeah. Wait, are you sure? Outside. But a inside compliment, any idea what'd be a good inside compliment mom?
Or do you want you want me to give you some ideas?
Tina Nguyen (19:39)
Thanks.
Coach Andrew (19:40)
Uh usually inside compliments for people who are listening. I made up the word inside and outside compliments just to help kids learn a little bit more about the different kinds we can different ways we can just add some value to somebody. So you can say something like something that's about the inside of mom, like her personality. Like I like how kind you are, I like how loving you are, or you can say something
You don't have to use the words I like. You can even just say something like, You're really good at um taking care of me. Or it could be something like
You're a really friendly person. I don't know, something like that. You're complimenting something about or you're like, Mama, you're a really hard worker. That's a really good compliment about who she is. Yes. Wonderful.
Tina Nguyen (20:31)
That's the inside confident oh
good job
Coach Andrew (20:38)
Yeah, yeah. And then now, mom, when you hear that inside compliment, how do you feel?
Tina Nguyen (20:44)
I feel amazing.
Coach Andrew (20:46)
Mm-hmm. Now if you were to rank it, which one
felt like deeper? Was it the the hair compliment or was it like the loving compliment?
Tina Nguyen (20:55)
the loving compliment, the inside
Coach Andrew (20:56)
Yes.
Tina Nguyen (20:57)
compliment.
Coach Andrew (20:58)
Yes. So outside compliments are easier to do because you don't know the person. You can compliment their backpack, their shoes, their boogers, their armpit hair, I mean their their shirt, anything.
Tina Nguyen (21:08)
Thank you.
Coach Andrew (21:10)
But in order to do an inside compliment, you kind have to get to know the person first. But then it after you get to know them, wow, you give them an inside compliment. They'll they might remember it for like the whole day or even forever. Yeah.
Tina Nguyen (21:23)
Mm-hmm.
Coach Andrew (21:23)
Especially if they've never heard it before.
They might remember it until they're an old grandma or grandpa.
Which is pretty good, right? Yeah. Okay. Uh so the two Cs. The first C was complement. Did you did you did you tell us what was the second C yet?
Tina Nguyen (21:42)
uh Common,
Coach Andrew (21:45)
okay, okay.
what does it mean to have something in common with somebody?
Tina Nguyen (21:56)
It was mean. Say a nice thing in common.
Coach Andrew (22:01)
Yeah. Does it mean like we're totally different or we're totally the same?
Tina Nguyen (22:06)
different. No. Same.
Coach Andrew (22:07)
What are you sure?
The
same, okay, so like if Xander, you like to paint. So if I said something like, this weekend I painted on my shirt with my hands Now are we different or does it sound like we're the same?
Tina Nguyen (22:31)
8, 7,
Coach Andrew (22:32)
Same exactly. And that's how we might end up start we might just talk about painting and then we are now friends. So do we like people who are who are different or the same as us?
Tina Nguyen (22:43)
Save.
Coach Andrew (22:44)
Yes. Now let's talk about the opposite. How come sometimes kids reject other kids because they think that they are the same or different?
Tina Nguyen (22:57)
different.
Coach Andrew (22:59)
But it's also true we are all different though, isn't that true?
Tina Nguyen (23:03)
Yeah.
Coach Andrew (23:03)
Yeah. I mean, do I look like you?
Tina Nguyen (23:10)
Yeah
Coach Andrew (23:10)
No. Do we do the exact same things every day?
No, I don't even go to school anymore, but you do. So we don't even have the same day.
Tina Nguyen (23:20)
I know you don't
go to school anymore. You're an adult but some adults still go to school.
Coach Andrew (23:27)
Yeah. Like when you go on YouTube or you watch TV or reading a book, we're probably not doing you're not we're reading the same books, we're not watching the same YouTube channels, right?
Tina Nguyen (23:39)
Mommy do I watch YouTube channels? A little bit. But which are you? Yeah.
Coach Andrew (23:45)
That's probably better.
Tina Nguyen (23:48)
What is a YouTube channel? You know that show you watch Octonauts and Bubble Nums and Fish Hooks. How is that a YouTube channel? That's on the...
Coach Andrew (23:56)
Uh
there's Blippy. Have you ever seen Blippy?
Tina Nguyen (24:00)
It's been a long time. uh
Coach Andrew (24:02)
Just kidding. That's that's way younger than
Yeah, it's it's a r it's a show for much younger kids. Um so okay, back to the two C's. So the two C's compliment, common. Maybe let's like give people an example. So let's just say I'm a kid that you're meeting for the very first time, and let's just say you're kind of shy, but you want to make some friends, and you're gonna try the two C's. all right, I'm just another six-year-old. uh
Tina Nguyen (24:36)
Hello.
Coach Andrew (24:38)
Hi.
Tina Nguyen (24:40)
like your hair. What about it? Do uh
Coach Andrew (24:41)
Oh, thank you. My mommy did it.
Tina Nguyen (24:47)
you like painting?
Coach Andrew (24:49)
Mm, um, I think it's fun.
Tina Nguyen (24:52)
How we painting too.
Coach Andrew (24:54)
Really?
Tina Nguyen (24:57)
you
Coach Andrew (24:58)
Now, now, what do we do after that? Because we don't want the conversation to end. We want it to stay fun, right?
Tina Nguyen (25:05)
Oh
Coach Andrew (25:08)
Do you want it to get boring
Tina Nguyen (25:08)
Maybe you ask...
Coach Andrew (25:09)
or stay fun?
Tina Nguyen (25:10)
He's fun, but I don't... You ask him... What do you like to paint? What do you like to paint?
Coach Andrew (25:12)
Yeah. What we can do. We we can d um yes. Uh
I like to paint bananas, horsies, uh anything really. I like to paint everything.
Tina Nguyen (25:32)
like to play.
I like to play.
Flowers, kids. Mommy, is that like the only? I like to paint under the seat.
Coach Andrew (25:48)
Un under the sea like like sharks and like you like to paint the ocean or?
Tina Nguyen (25:58)
He says. I also, wait no, I like to coral reefs.
Coach Andrew (26:04)
What's that?
Tina Nguyen (26:06)
It's like a reef but it's with like corals.
Coach Andrew (26:11)
What's a reef?
Tina Nguyen (26:14)
Explain to them what's a reef. So it's like a coral reef is where Is where a bunch of animals live under the sea and it's like with squirrels and Fish it's so this lots of animals
Coach Andrew (26:34)
Uh-huh.
Tina Nguyen (26:35)
and it's usually home for fishies
Coach Andrew (26:39)
Oh
Very nice. Okay. Now time out. Now, as the kid that you're meeting for the first time, we started off with what do we have in common? Painting. But now are we talking about what we have in common or is it starting to be more about like what you like to do?
Tina Nguyen (27:05)
Not what I like to do.
Coach Andrew (27:07)
Yeah. So all you have to do now is come back to what do we have in common. And then uh we just want to explore. Since it's a brand new person, what's really fun is that we get to explore this person. So let's just pretend you don't know anything else about me other than I painted bananas, animals, and everything. Okay. So maybe go back to see what what else can you explore about me. Okay. So let's just say you just said
wow, I also like to paint and I also like to paint coral reefs. Now, ask me another question.
Tina Nguyen (27:44)
Now ask me another question, please. No. You
Coach Andrew (27:47)
no, no, no, you asked me a question.
Tina Nguyen (27:49)
can ask them. What else do you like to do? What else do you like to do?
Coach Andrew (27:53)
Mm-hmm.
Mm.
I like to
Play
Fortnite.
Tina Nguyen (28:14)
What's Fortnite?
Coach Andrew (28:15)
Oh, it is the best. You like you pick your character and you jump out of a plane and then you try to find a weapon and then you try to beat everybody and there's like a hundred people.
Tina Nguyen (28:31)
and can tell them, I've never played that. I never played that.
Coach Andrew (28:35)
Mm-hmm. Oh, it's um it's really fun. Now, do now here's the thing. This just got kind of tricky for for a lot of kids. Now it becomes like, wait a second, but we were we just had painting in common, but now we don't have Fortnite in common. Okay, now Xander, does that mean we can't be friends now, or does it mean that we can still be friends?
Tina Nguyen (28:57)
We could still be friends.
Coach Andrew (28:58)
Yes,
because if we don't have something in common, because remember, we become friends with people when we feel the same. But you don't play Fortnite. Might be better thing for you though, by by the way. But the thing is, if you sound really interested in what I like to do, I'm gonna have to go, wait, wait a second. Why does Xander have so many questions about Fortnite? Maybe it's because he's curious.
And he's just like me. He's just never played before. But I bet that if he tried playing with me, he would probably really like it because he sounds like he's just like me. And now I think well, the thing is now I like you more because I feel like we're the same. Only because you're so good at listening to me. Does that make sense? So um
Let's just say I said, yeah, it's really fun. You like jump out of the plane and then like you you try to get everybody and then now explore some more about like why I like it. Ready to go.
Tina Nguyen (30:09)
night.
Coach Andrew (30:10)
Mmm, you know? Mmm, I don't know. I think Hmm no one's ever asked me that before. It's just really fun.
Tina Nguyen (30:22)
Um, which one do you usually get in the game?
Coach Andrew (30:28)
Uh you know what? You what you have to get is like a legendary AR. Those are the best. 'Cause then you can shoot really far and it helps you win.
Tina Nguyen (30:41)
What's the legendary AR? eh
Coach Andrew (30:46)
Um,
it's just kinda like when you open up a treasure chest. Sometimes you get like a basic one, sometimes you get a legendary one. But the legendary one just has more power.
Tina Nguyen (30:55)
That was that.
What does it look like?
Coach Andrew (31:05)
Um I think either it's purple or red. I can't remember, but it's one of those colors. You don't want the gray one though. The gray one is not good.
Tina Nguyen (31:17)
How?
Coach Andrew (31:18)
Uh I think that like if you were to shoot at somebody with the gray one and someone's shooting at you with the blue one, there's just no way you're gonna win.
Tina Nguyen (31:28)
Bye!
Where do you go to attack in Fortnite?
Coach Andrew (31:37)
Where do I do what?
Tina Nguyen (31:39)
Where do you attack in Fortnite? In the forest?
Coach Andrew (31:43)
Oh, sometimes you're on an island and sometimes you like you you start out of a airplane and you jump into like yeah, it's like but there's a bunch of houses. Sometimes you start off on at the ocean and you surf your way in from the waves and onto some part of the land. But there's some jungles and there's just like there's like a little bit of everything. But what do you like to do for fun?
Tina Nguyen (32:08)
I like to...
Plus Legos.
Coach Andrew (32:15)
I love Lagos. What do you build?
Tina Nguyen (32:19)
I will like Legosys. I will, I'll have like a Rapunzel Legosys. A Rapunzel Legosys.
Coach Andrew (32:27)
Nice, very cool. And so okay, and time out. So now at this point, you guys are friends. You guys are friends. And I think the only part I think that was slowing down was I think you're still trying to think of some questions, right?
Tina Nguyen (32:43)
Mm-hmm.
Coach Andrew (32:44)
Okay,
so um when you're thinking of some questions, do you think the more you do this, the harder it gets, or the more you do this, the easier it gets?
Tina Nguyen (32:54)
Easy.
Coach Andrew (32:54)
Yeah, yeah. Okay, so there's the two Cs. Do you think what do you feel like is probably the hardest part about making new friends? Whoa, wait, wait, wait. What do you think?
Helps us make new friends better. More talking or more listening?
Tina Nguyen (33:19)
you talking more or listening more to Coach Andrew? Listening.
Coach Andrew (33:23)
Yes, yes. And when you do more listening, that builds more trust. But how would you describe trust, like in kid words?
Without using the word trust.
Tina Nguyen (33:41)
I don't even know what you mean, kid words.
Coach Andrew (33:44)
Oh, like how do you
explain trust without using the word trust?
How do people treat you? If
Tina Nguyen (33:58)
Time flea.
Coach Andrew (33:59)
yes, yes. So if someone trusts you, they probably think you're gonna treat them bad or kindly.
Tina Nguyen (34:05)
Finally.
Coach Andrew (34:07)
Mm-hmm. That's right. Um actually, question from mom.
What is your perspective on kids building friendships?
Tina Nguyen (34:20)
my perspective on kids building friendships, like how they build friendships or when they build friendships.
Coach Andrew (34:26)
Mm-hmm. Like
like like in terms of like what challenges do they face? Like
Tina Nguyen (34:38)
Well, I guess if you're a rejection, if the kids are gonna like them or not, and the next time when they see each other, are they gonna be nice? Are they gonna pick up like they're still friends or all of a sudden not? Because the one friend, what if they made another friend? It's like, well, I'd
Coach Andrew (35:00)
Mm.
Tina Nguyen (35:00)
rather play with this kid more than you now, you know? And
Coach Andrew (35:04)
Mm-hmm.
Tina Nguyen (35:04)
there's that.
Coach Andrew (35:08)
Yeah. Have you ever noticed a difference between like a kid who is uh let's just say like the confidence in walking up to someone, have you ever noticed a difference between a kid who's like six versus a kid who's like three or four?
Tina Nguyen (35:26)
I guess a who is like three or four, they just automatically kind of just come up because they haven't experienced or aren't aware or maybe, you know, yeah, haven't experienced any rejection or any mean kids yet.
Coach Andrew (35:42)
Uh uhhuh.
And do you do you think a bullying experience could maybe plant a seed of doubt in even at a young age?
Tina Nguyen (35:54)
Yeah, absolutely.
Coach Andrew (35:55)
Yeah.
Uh Xander, do you think bullying can turn turn a kid into feeling shy?
What do you think, Xander? Oh, you you think so? Yeah? Okay,
Tina Nguyen (36:07)
Yeah.
Coach Andrew (36:10)
gotcha. So now here's the thing. We're trying to help more kids not feel shy. Go and do the two C's. But what if they try it and they end up meeting someone who's not doesn't like to treat people fairly and then they get bullied. Yikes. Okay.
Tina Nguyen (36:29)
Mmm, the other two C's.
Coach Andrew (36:31)
Ooh.
Tina Nguyen (36:34)
Calm comebacks.
Coach Andrew (36:35)
Oh calm comebacks. Yeah, you guys, okay,
Tina Nguyen (36:38)
Yeah, right.
Coach Andrew (36:40)
share, share. what is that?
Tina Nguyen (36:46)
One,
you.
when someone's being...
Coach Andrew (36:57)
Huh, you gotta go back to being sad?
Tina Nguyen (37:02)
I forgot when I come back sis. I think we learned it like a long time ago.
Coach Andrew (37:08)
Yeah, let's
go let's talk about it. Why do you think being calm with a bully, why is that important?
Tina Nguyen (37:18)
What? Um...
Coach Andrew (37:23)
yeah, yeah.
Tina Nguyen (37:23)
What do
I always say when someone's making you upset? What do do? You don't show them that you're upset, right? You stay calm and you stay cool. Come back. Yeah. You don't want the bully to see a reaction because that's what they want, is a reaction. Or you could
Coach Andrew (37:42)
Mm mm. Okay. Now, yeah.
Tina Nguyen (37:45)
just like joke.
Coach Andrew (37:47)
Uh-huh, okay, okay. Can you can you help us, the audience, the listeners on the sh who are listening to our show, what are like two reactions the bully really wants?
Tina Nguyen (38:00)
Um, a reaction.
Coach Andrew (38:01)
Yeah,
but what kind? What kind of face? What kind of
Tina Nguyen (38:05)
Hmm.
Coach Andrew (38:08)
how would you describe that feeling? Sad? Mad
Sad. And then what would mad look like?
Okay, good. And so if sad and mad are the two things the bully really wants you to get, then what are the ones we are gonna give them instead?
Tina Nguyen (38:33)
What kind of reaction are you going to give the bully instead?
Like, Or... Come Come
Coach Andrew (38:39)
Sure, good.
Tina Nguyen (38:41)
Back.
Coach Andrew (38:45)
Mm-hmm. So you can be like, is serious? Do you think serious will be okay?
Tina Nguyen (38:50)
Yeah.
Coach Andrew (38:52)
Serious is good. Uh laughing is good. Is smiling good?
Tina Nguyen (38:56)
Now,
what if you're a bone? Yeah.
Coach Andrew (39:00)
Mm-hmm. Okay, so wait a second though. Staying calm, like looking like you don't care, looking like you're smiling, looking like you're laughing. Sometimes do you think that that's what we do right away? Or do we have to actually think about it?
Tina Nguyen (39:20)
Think about it. Wait,
Coach Andrew (39:21)
Mm.
Tina Nguyen (39:22)
no, right away, right away, right away.
Coach Andrew (39:24)
Yeah, we would like to do it right away, but we probably have to think about it. Do you have any advice, Andre, on like sometimes kids they just like get really mad and they kinda wanna um give the bully a knuckle sandwich and give 'em like a lesson. how do you switch from like mad or upset or sad? How do you switch to like calm? Any advice?
Tina Nguyen (39:54)
Come, come back.
Coach Andrew (39:57)
Okay, okay, okay, okay. So what do we say?
Tina Nguyen (39:58)
You
Coach Andrew (39:59)
Like okay, hold on, wait. Before we go into what do we say?
Tina Nguyen (40:05)
Bye!
Coach Andrew (40:08)
Yeah, mom can chime in.
Tina Nguyen (40:08)
What's insane?
ah I know whenever that happens to him, I try to tell him to just breathe, zoom out, and refocus.
Coach Andrew (40:18)
Okay, got it, got it. Ooh, that's this is actually really good. Have you guys heard of the two circles of control?
Oh, you guys have? You guys had? Okay.
Tina Nguyen (40:30)
The inner circle right in your mind remember Yeah
Coach Andrew (40:32)
Yes, yes, the inner circle and then the outer circle. Uh Xander, so like
the well, not everybody knows what the two circles of control means. is it okay if I explain it really fast for our listeners? Okay. So there's the inside circle and the outside circle, just a visual. So that way it's easier for anybody, not just kids, but anyone to have a better idea of like,
What are the things that are outside of our control? The outside circle is stuff like winning, losing, uh perfection, mistakes, being people being nice to you or being mean to you, accepting you, rejecting you, like just other people's reactions. Or even if you're just focusing on painting and doing something for yourself and then you mess up. Like basically all those things we cannot control, right, Xander? Yeah, we can try our best, but in the end, can you get everyone to like you?
Tina Nguyen (41:28)
No. No.
Coach Andrew (41:29)
And even if you
try your best with painting, can you promise me that you'll always paint perfectly?
Tina Nguyen (41:35)
Noooo
Coach Andrew (41:37)
Right, 'cause mistakes can can happen. But can we control that we are always trying our best?
Tina Nguyen (41:43)
Yeah.
Coach Andrew (41:44)
Yep. So that's the in that th that's on the inside circle. Can we owe can we control whether we give up or if we keep going?
Tina Nguyen (41:52)
Yes. Yes.
Coach Andrew (41:53)
Mm-hmm,
yeah. Can we control if we're being grateful?
Tina Nguyen (42:01)
Is this?
Coach Andrew (42:01)
yeah,
we can. Can we control if can we control what we're saying?
Tina Nguyen (42:06)
Is this?
Coach Andrew (42:06)
Can we control what we're thinking?
Tina Nguyen (42:10)
Mm-hmm.
Coach Andrew (42:10)
Yeah, that's probably the hardest of them all, but we can definitely do it. Okay, so we were talking about bullies. So if we want to get better at controlling our reaction, we have to focus on what we can't control or what we can control.
Tina Nguyen (42:28)
what you can control.
Right? Say it.
Coach Andrew (42:34)
Yeah, very good. And since we can't control how other people treat us, can we control our face?
Yes, we can. So
Tina Nguyen (42:45)
Yeah
Coach Andrew (42:46)
uh if we control our face, do you think that is easy or it takes practice?
Tina Nguyen (42:54)
easy we control our
Coach Andrew (42:55)
Really? Some kids?
Yeah. You know,
I think maybe for you it might be like easy. I know some kids where it's like really hard to where if someone makes them mad, it's just right away they're looking mad and it's like hard for them to control their face. But if you can control
Tina Nguyen (43:15)
Mm-hmm.
Coach Andrew (43:16)
your face, it can control how you sound. Should we sound mad? If we should we sound sad?
Tina Nguyen (43:23)
No. No.
Coach Andrew (43:27)
Should we sound calm?
Tina Nguyen (43:28)
Yes.
Coach Andrew (43:29)
Yes. So if we look calm. Actually, Xander, can you try this? Try to make a sad face and sound happy at the same time. Can you do it?
Tina Nguyen (43:43)
I know.
Coach Andrew (43:43)
Now try to sound it's kinda weird, right? Okay, now try
to look happy, but sound sad.
Tina Nguyen (43:51)
Hmm.
Coach Andrew (43:53)
No, you gotta look happier. That sounded sad, but you gotta look happier. Try it again.
Tina Nguyen (43:57)
Hmm.
Coach Andrew (43:59)
No, not really. It sounded kind of sad, but I'm not sure what the face was. So it's
just like it's like so hard. But do you think we should focus on trying to sound calm first or should we focus on making our face look calm first?
Tina Nguyen (44:18)
Thanks.
Coach Andrew (44:19)
Yes. And if we look calm, we sound calm. Right? Okay.
Tina Nguyen (44:23)
Yes.
Coach Andrew (44:26)
Okay. So let's say we tried the two C's and then we ended up facing a meanie. Now
Tina Nguyen (44:33)
Mm.
Coach Andrew (44:35)
we have to have some kind of calm comeback. Let's just say you're controlling your face. Now you're gonna sound calm. What do we say?
Tina Nguyen (44:45)
What do you say?
Coach Andrew (44:47)
Hey you poo poo face.
Tina Nguyen (44:49)
say something mean that or do you say something that makes the bully think?
Makes the bully think.
Coach Andrew (45:02)
Okay. Should we say something like you're a poo poo face?
Tina Nguyen (45:07)
Nah
Coach Andrew (45:10)
Should we say something like, uh you, you're not very smart?
Mm hmm Should we say something like Leave me alone?
Mm-hmm. You know, sometimes that doesn't work. Let's go over some more advanced strategies that make the bully really think, uh Have we ever done the repeat technique before together?
Tina Nguyen (45:47)
No.
Coach Andrew (45:48)
No?
The one where you make the bully repeat themselves?
Tina Nguyen (45:52)
Oh yes, the ones where you make the bully question themselves too much. Yeah, think so. Real briefly though.
Coach Andrew (45:59)
It's like uh you pretend like you didn't hear them and you go, What what did you say? Uh can you say that again? All right, you want to try that on me?
Tina Nguyen (46:08)
Yeah.
Coach Andrew (46:09)
Okay, okay. You just have to pretend like you're deaf. Um, hey, Xander.
Tina Nguyen (46:14)
What do you mean?
Coach Andrew (46:16)
deaf means like you can't hear. So you just like go, huh? What was that? Can I's can you say that again? All right, so let's just pretend I say something mean. Hey Xander.
Guess what?
Tina Nguyen (46:31)
What?
Coach Andrew (46:32)
You smell like fart. Ha ha ha.
Tina Nguyen (46:36)
See you later again.
Coach Andrew (46:37)
Yeah, I said you smell like fart.
Tina Nguyen (46:42)
What could you say that again?
Coach Andrew (46:46)
I said you smell like fart.
Tina Nguyen (46:51)
And then you can say, you smell like fart? Yeah, you're right.
What? Could you say that again?
Coach Andrew (47:01)
Never mind. Now, what you did really well with is that you kept pushing away and away and away the joke. The part where I was supposed to laugh and like you know when you tell a joke and you try to tell it again and it's not funny.
Have your has that ever happened to you?
Tina Nguyen (47:28)
think it's happened to daddy. uh
Coach Andrew (47:30)
That's it's it's a it's a very common with dad jokes. Sometimes dad will say
a joke and then it's not funny and then and then it's
Tina Nguyen (47:38)
Yes.
Coach Andrew (47:38)
just like um that's the worst when you try
Tina Nguyen (47:40)
You
Coach Andrew (47:41)
to tell a joke but then nobody laughs. So then for you, Xander, then the repeat technique is just act like you can't hear what the person is saying and just get them to repeat themselves until they get upset, until they get frustrated. Because then if you get them, uh if you give them a hard time, do you think they're wanna wanna keep doing it?
No way. Very good. Hmm. Maybe we can try another one. Let's see here. Give me another example of like a bully situation.
Tina Nguyen (48:14)
I know what happened between you and you know Yeah,
Coach Andrew (48:19)
Give me an example, without giving any giving any names.
Tina Nguyen (48:22)
and me when someone said that you had a fat belly
Coach Andrew (48:26)
Uh someone said that to you? How did it make you laugh or did it kind of hurt your feelings?
Tina Nguyen (48:35)
How am I feeling?
Coach Andrew (48:36)
Oh yeah. Well, first of all, you n when when you uh
Tina Nguyen (48:40)
I do even more members in name. uh
Coach Andrew (48:44)
get bullied and someone actually name calls you and it hurt you it hurts your feelings, wouldn't it wouldn't it be awesome if it didn't ever hurt your feelings at all?
I feel like that would be the best and that's where we can start. How do we make sure that mean words never hurt our feelings? Hmm. We have a self image. And an and Xander, for those who are listening, is it is our self image what we see in the mirror or is it like what we think about ourselves?
Tina Nguyen (49:17)
what we think about ourselves.
Coach Andrew (49:19)
Mm. So if someone says, you have a fat belly, is that a fact or is that an opinion?
Tina Nguyen (49:26)
to me.
Coach Andrew (49:28)
Mm. And now, if they have an opinion about you, is that a
Tina Nguyen (49:30)
Thank you.
Coach Andrew (49:33)
bad thing or is that just a normal thing?
Tina Nguyen (49:36)
No, I'm
Coach Andrew (49:37)
This is normal. But what's the truth about you then?
Tina Nguyen (49:43)
I do not have it. You don't have one.
Coach Andrew (49:45)
You don't know. Do you d
yeah. Do you have a fat belly or just a belly?
Tina Nguyen (49:52)
Hey, Billy.
Coach Andrew (49:53)
Yeah, exactly. So you just have a belly. So now if you feel hurt, there's only two kinds of hurt. It's either you're disappointed because you kind of like the person and now they're being mean and you're disappointed that they would do something like that. So you feel a little bit sad. They're like like ruining the friendship that you had. Or maybe you're not even friends and you don't like the person or you're not friends yet, and they say something mean.
And then you're like really, really sad. That would only be because you're s if you hear the words and then inside your brain it like echoes, fat belly, fat belly, fat belly. Then what happens is you go, I have a fat belly. I have a fat belly. Why would he say that? I have a fat belly. And it goes over and over in your head, in your self image. Do you think it's going up or going down?
Tina Nguyen (50:49)
You think you're... yeah. Down? Up?
Coach Andrew (50:50)
Is yeah, it's going yeah,
it's going down. So basically if your self image goes down, is it because is it their fault or is it our fault for copying their words?
Tina Nguyen (51:07)
That's a tricky one.
Coach Andrew (51:09)
Yeah, it is. It is a tricking one. What do you think?
Tina Nguyen (51:14)
Therefore...
Coach Andrew (51:15)
What a lot of kids think that, but it's actually not true. Because the only person who can lower your self image is the other people or yourself.
Yeah, yeah. So then if they say you have a fat belly and then and then our self image goes down, it's because we copied their words and used it on ourselves. But do you think we do it on purpose or by accident?
Yeah. If if a bad guy broke into your house right now and sat on your couch and said, Xander, can you make me a sandwich? Should you go and make that bad guy a sandwich or should you kick him out?
Tina Nguyen (51:49)
Kick him out.
Coach Andrew (51:50)
Exactly. And that house represents our brain. And when you have a mean word come into your brain, we don't just let it sit in our house, we kick it out. And we go, Nope, that's not the truth. I know the truth about myself. My belly is just the belly.
Right? I mean, doesn't that make sense?
Tina Nguyen (52:10)
oh
I'm gonna get the bad guys really
Coach Andrew (52:14)
A what? A swirly?
Tina Nguyen (52:16)
Yeah, that's when you put your, the person's head in the toilet and flush it.
Coach Andrew (52:23)
How do you know what
a swirly is?
Tina Nguyen (52:27)
Your dad.
Coach Andrew (52:29)
Of course. This
came this came from uh our generation. Of
Tina Nguyen (52:33)
You
Coach Andrew (52:34)
course. This the most kids don't even know what that is because I've asked them. Like, you know, but uh yeah, so funny. Anyways, so um so if someone is being
Tina Nguyen (52:38)
Oh really? uh Now you got it.
Coach Andrew (52:45)
a bully, should we just let bad thoughts come into our mind and copy them or should we kick them out?
Tina Nguyen (52:54)
Kicked him out.
Coach Andrew (52:55)
Exactly. Now, do you think then when someone says something mean to you, do you think it'll be a lot harder to control your face or a lot easier?
Tina Nguyen (53:05)
Easy.
Coach Andrew (53:06)
Yes. you know what else? Uh I w I had another idea.
Maybe we can share with the audience. Like, um,
Tina Nguyen (53:14)
Oh, yeah.
Coach Andrew (53:17)
when I think this is my final question for Xander and I got one final question from mom. Uh Xander, if someone is bullying you, what what's going on with inside the bully? Like, why are they doing that in the first place?
Tina Nguyen (53:36)
So why do bullies bully other people?
Coach Andrew (53:39)
Yeah.
Tina Nguyen (53:41)
because do you think the bully is happy or Happy. You think they're happy? Well, happy people don't bully other people. Hurt. Yeah.
Coach Andrew (53:53)
Mm, they're hurt. And so when we stand up to a bully, do you think that solves the real problem inside of them?
Tina Nguyen (54:03)
Nope.
Coach Andrew (54:04)
No. And after you have a really strong boundary, a very strong wall, and they can't get past this wall and hurt you anymore, and because you always stand up for yourself, what do you think they'll end up doing next?
Tina Nguyen (54:20)
Hmm
Coach Andrew (54:20)
To somebody
else.
Tina Nguyen (54:24)
they start bullying the other kid. Yeah, they start bullying the other kid.
Coach Andrew (54:33)
Any any ideas on how we can help that other kid stop being a bully?
Tina Nguyen (54:40)
Mmm.
Coach Andrew (54:40)
Should we
maybe hurt them some more?
Tina Nguyen (54:44)
No.
Coach Andrew (54:45)
Okay, maybe that doesn't help. What helps them then?
Tina Nguyen (54:49)
You being nice to them?
Coach Andrew (54:51)
Hmm. What if we really don't want to be near them anymore?
But we sometimes walk past them in school. Any ideas of like what's something you can say that maybe builds up their self image?
What if we went back to the very beginning of what we do to make new friends? The two
Tina Nguyen (55:19)
Please!
Coach Andrew (55:21)
Yes, the two C's. So we use the two C's to make friends, but after you voice yourself and you you you know stand up to your bully and then now you're thinking about how can you help the bully so that way they stop hurting other people. Do you think we can try the two C's on them?
Ooh. And then if they start feeling better about
Tina Nguyen (55:45)
Thank
Coach Andrew (55:46)
themselves and they feel like, wow, someone actually thinks about me and cares about me and things like that, at first
Tina Nguyen (55:51)
Bye.
Coach Andrew (55:51)
I think they might go like, Why do you care? 'Cause they're do you think they're because they're opening up or they're trying to protect themselves?
Tina Nguyen (56:01)
protect themselves.
Coach Andrew (56:03)
Mm-hmm. You remember
remember how we talked about safety behaviors where you like look down, you hunt your back, and then you cross your arms.
Bullies have them too. They'll be like, Why do you care? They don't want you to get too close because you're they're afraid that maybe you'll end up rejecting them. So they push people away, they hurt other people because they think if I hurt you, you can't hurt me. I have to hurt you first.
So yeah, the two C's would help. Anyways, question from mom. Final question.
Tina Nguyen (56:37)
Yes.
Coach Andrew (56:38)
What advice or encouragement? I like to ask all the parents this at the end of the the the show. What advice or encouragement do you have for the parents that are listening?
Tina Nguyen (56:48)
Advice? Uh... You're
Coach Andrew (56:50)
Ha ha ha.
Tina Nguyen (56:52)
gonna ask me this.
I mean, I guess they're already open to advice and suggestions from you since they're probably already listening to your podcasts and stuff. um
Coach Andrew (57:13)
Maybe something maybe like like we did cover a lot of things. Maybe
like uh some encouragement for the parents who might like have kids going through uh struggles with trying to make new friends and then maybe because there there has been bullying in the past and they're really trying everything and maybe they're about to try some new things from listening to the show. Uh what encouragement do you have for those parents?
Tina Nguyen (57:38)
give it some time and um
Yeah, patience because every kid grows at their own rate and... ah
to really try to go and practice these tips that we learned from your podcast, know, from your, Rebel Ninja Academy stuff. I feel like that all really helps a lot. And at first I was, I was kind of doubting it, but
Coach Andrew (58:14)
Mm.
Tina Nguyen (58:14)
ah because I'm, I'm always a little skeptical about things, but
Coach Andrew (58:19)
Mm mm.
Tina Nguyen (58:21)
after practicing with this little guy,
over and over because he used to have lot of doubts of like comparing himself to his other cousins that are the same age and the whole there are some things that you've taught us or helped us and it's stuck to us a lot that we we use it almost on a daily of like you're not good at it now but you're just not good at it yet and you know and as you keep practicing you will be good at it and just
You know, don't give up and just keep trying. I think we're all just trying to do our best.
Coach Andrew (59:00)
Mm.
I love that. So like just being patient, maybe being having some grace for yourself. and that you're doing everything you can already, right? Yeah, I love it.
Tina Nguyen (59:10)
Yeah. I mean,
obviously I feel like parents were listening to a podcast about raising kids. I'm assuming that they want to try to do their best, you know.
Coach Andrew (59:22)
Yeah, yeah.
Good, good. Thank you for the the encouragement. All right. Well that concludes our show. Let's on the I'll count down and then we'll all say bye to our listeners. Alrighty. Three, two, one, bye.