Get Back Up

Rod Cate joins Dr. Paul Jenkins for this episode of Live On Purpose Radio. Rod suffered a spinal cord injury as a young 15-year-old athlete that left him paralyzed from the neck down. Rod’s attitude and determination allowed him to take this as “the hand he was dealt” and still create a “normal” and even extraordinary life.

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Formerly Live On Purpose Radio.

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Think you know what positivity is? Think again. Pathological Positivity is a weekly podcast with psychologist and author Dr. Paul Jenkins. He challenges conventional thinking, explores the science of positivity, and talks with extraordinary people who put it into practice.

Each episode gives you one practical idea you can use the same day, from why you can stop waiting to feel motivated to how to stay positive through a hard week without pretending everything is fine. Episodes run about 15 to 30 minutes, and a new one comes out every Thursday.

Same show, same feed, same archive. Visit pathologicalpositivity.com to listen.

Welcome to Live on Purpose Radio with doctor Paul Jenkins, where you will hear inspiring stories of ordinary people doing And now, here's your host, doctor Paul. And now, here's your host, doctor Paul. Hello, everybody. And welcome back to Live on Purpose Radio. This is doctor Paul, the shrink who expands your life with another episode of Live on Purpose Radio.

Joining me today is mister Rod Cate. Rod is an attorney but even more interesting than that, he's got a story that teaches us something. It's been a while Rod since that life changing event that you experienced as a young man, that left you with some paralysis and has taught you a lot about life. Is that fair to say? That that is fair to say.

It's been it's been it's been... Actually, it's been so long ago. It's hard to remember what it was like to be physically normal. And you've got a new normal. That might be fair too.

Oh, yeah. I've been... But I've been living with this new normal now since, oh, I guess, 1981. So this new normal is really just a normal for me. I was going to say the year started with a '19 that had an eight in it, but only barely.

Yeah. Yeah. So we were just out of the seventies when this happened to you. Tell us a little bit, Rod, about what your story is. What what what the context is, and then we'll build from that into, extracting some principle.

Sure. Well, doctor Paul, back in 1981, I'm 15 years old. I just finished the ninth grade. And I'm going in... It's the summertime.

It's August. Going into high school. I lived in North Carolina at the time. And, I was very good athlete, did very well. I just finished my junior high career, played football, basketball, baseball, ran track, kind of did everything.

And so right before school starts, it's August eighty one. Whoever's trying out for football team, we lived on campus for a week. We did what was called football camp. So we're up there for a week. The the week culminates with the...

We got our inner squad scrimmage, which were, you know, we're all dressed out like a real game. The whole town's there. It's a it's a big deal. And during the inner squad scrimmage and, you know, I was I was fortunate as I was a rising sophomore, one of the two players that actually make the varsity team and I was the starting free safety coming in as a as a tenth grader. And right, you know, so during the inter squad scrimmage actually was the first play.

I was playing through safety, pass coming across the middle. I saw I could not intercept it. So I was gonna, hit the sky as hard as I could, you know, make sure he didn't catch the ball. You know, here I am kinda 15 years old. The guy hit is six three, six four weighed about two sixty, six feet, maybe one sixty.

But then this guy went on to play football wake forest. And so I did hit him hard and I was successful in separating him from the ball. But unfortunately when I hit him, I lowered my head too much. And I hit him kind of the top of his thigh with the crown of my helmet. And when I did it, I shattered two vertebrae in my neck and badly damaged my spinal cord, which left me paralyzed from the neck down, at that point.

Wow. We've heard these stories before, Rod. In fact, you make a point of this in your book that there's there's inspiring stories where somebody encounters a tragic event like you did at the age of 15. You're just young and fresh, and you got your whole life ahead of you, and then boom. In just a moment, everything changes.

And and these inspiring stories typically have people, you know, struggling through the difficulty, and you have that. And adjusting and adapting and overcoming challenges, and you did that. And then rising on to be an astronaut or president of The United States or the king of the world. And you did that too, only in a quieter way maybe. Because overcoming these adversities, I think...

What if what if you could just reclaim your life? Wouldn't that be great enough, grand enough? And I think it is. I mean, there's something inspiring in that. In your book...

I I mentioned your book. It's called Get Back Up by Rod Kate. Get back up because this took you down, didn't it? Oh, it did. I mean, this was this was...

You know, you talk about a life changing experience. I mean, you know, here I am 15 years old and, you know, I'm excited about high school. I mean, I'm I'm coming in, you know, I'm coming in as kind of a big man on campus who hadn't even been there. Yeah. You know, I mean, I had been a very good athlete and there was some excitement leading into it.

And then, you know, in a blink of an eye, it all changes. You know, it goes from, wow, look at this great life I'm getting ready to get into, to, you can't even move now. And, you know, it's so everything's changed. And and like what you're saying about recapture your life, that is, I mean that's that's when I think about what I've been through and what I've been able to accomplish. It is recapturing my life because you know, I was fortunate.

I didn't sever my spinal cord. It was badly bruised. I remain completely paralyzed from the neck down for probably a month. Things started coming back, you know, serious rehab for two or three months. And then I'm back at school.

I'm back at school. When I get back to school, I'm I'm actually walking. I'm walking with forearm crutches to get back. And then after, you know, doing that for a while, I get better and better. And then while I walk with a cane today, although, I mean, you can, you would have no, there's no doubt that you would see by watching me walk that I have severe paralysis, you know, still, but I get, I get to where I need to go.

But the big thing with the, that I think that my biggest accomplishment is plugging back in. It's getting back in. I know I went to high school, you know, I graduated valedictorian when I graduated. Went on to Davidson college, graduated Phi Beta Kappa, went to UNC, University of California, got my law degree and my master's in business. And I've been a lawyer for twenty eight years.

I've got a wife, I've got three kids that are grown. My big accomplishment is that I've gotten... I've lived a normal life. And and to me, it hasn't been pretty extraordinary, not normal. But it but but that's the that's the, I guess, that's my takeaway is is is is plugging back in.

You know, get... Getting back and living your life. That's the key right there. When things happen. I'm not saying if, Rod, I'm saying when things happen, and they will.

Right? Oh, yeah. It's just a it's just a it's just whatever the degree is. Yes. And the nature of it will be different from person to person or from group to group, but stuff happens.

And when it happens, we are faced with a choice. And I... In my book, I I talk about how it really boils down to two determinant paradigms. There's the victim paradigm, and there's the agent paradigm. I call it agent.

It could be hero. It could be positivity. You can pick a word. But it has to do with, okay. Here's my package in life.

Now what? Now what? Am I giving up? Am I gonna curl up in the corner in fetal position, or do I find a way to reclaim and rebuild and create my life from this point moving forward? Right.

And I see that's what you've done. You've had some experience with that. Rod, can you help us to see what it was for you? And maybe this is a general principle that can be applied to other people as well. But what was it for you that helped the lights to go on so that you could actually make those choices?

Well, you know, and this is weird because... Well, you know, one thing, this happened as you pointed out when I was 15 years old. And I'll tell you, I don't think the 15 year old brain can really handle a lot of what was happening. I think if this would have, I thought I'd been 30 when this happened. There might have been more of a thought process in it.

For me, it wasn't that I was thinking which way I wanna go with this. It was that this is the way I'm gonna go with this. You know, it would say I'm not it was once I started getting some movement back, then I once I started actually get you know, I'll never forget the first day I got out of the wheelchair at these long metal braces on to walk. And it so wasn't I really didn't make the choice, the victim versus the agent. I just...

To me, there was no choice. It was... I was going to be the agent. And and that's what I did. And I just kept kept going.

I think I think having my my parents, you know, just the way I was was raised up until that point. But that's that's probably what it was. That's what occurred to me as you shared that, Rod. You were already programmed. When you said it wasn't a choice, here's the thing.

Until you see it as a choice, it's not. And I think that goes both directions because there are some people who are programmed with more of that victim mindset, kinda like, why me? Oh, crap. My life sucks now and has to suck forever. As opposed to...

You said your parents raised you in a way that had you naturally thinking, well, of course, this is what I'm going to do. It wasn't even a cognitive process for you. It's what you do when stuff happens. Yeah. Yeah.

That's it. Well, it's just... Like, what... For instance, when when I was finally discharged from the rehab center from the from the day I broke my neck through discharge, it was about three and a half months. So here I'm, you know, 15 years old.

The the first day I actually stepped foot on campus at my high school as a natural student was the Monday after the Thanksgiving holiday. That that's that's when that was. But well, I remember when I got discharged, you know, I'm walking down the hall in the rehab center. My mom went and pulled the car around. I've got the forearm crutches and I go and you talk about some of this this really anticlimactic.

We had no... I mean, there was no huge party, no celebration. And and this is why it's important, I think, and this goes with what you're saying is that the mindset of my parents was that we now... This is great. We expected you to walk again.

But now now it starts. Now it's time to plug in. And so let... Let's move forward. Wow.

I I do a lot of parent coaching. And what you're sharing here, Rod, is so powerful because your parents, thankfully, had programmed you with a mindset that allowed you to move through this very difficult challenge in your life almost as if it was just the next thing. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was...

Yeah. You're you're right. The next thing, but, unfortunately, it was... This was a bad thing. But, but you're right.

It's that, you know, we expect that you're going to get over this physically. And whatever you wanna accomplish in life, none of that's been changed. I mean, the opportunity to no different. Now I probably Right. I was probably a good enough athlete to maybe go on and play in college, maybe at the small school level.

I was not ever gonna be an NFL player. So that that wasn't something that was taken away from me. That was never gonna happen anyway. I was... Yeah.

I never never thought that that was gonna happen. But... And so what I wanted to do in life, not... Nothing nothing changed. I mean, nothing was taken away where it prevented me from from doing that as far as career wise.

So so it just, you know, get going, man. Well, there's some powerful principles there. As we get back from this break, Rod, I'd like to dig into some of the other things that you've learned from this experience. Folks, this is Rod Cate at Live On Purpose Radio. We'll be right back.

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Go to doctor paul jenkins dot com, spelled with a d r, and click on the big orange button right there that will get you a free copy of my book. You pay the shipping. I'll pay for the book. Sound like a good deal? Power up your positivity and get ready to see phenomenal changes in your happiness, your relationships, your business, every aspect of life.

Enjoy this free gift from me, doctorpauljenkins .com. Rod Kate joining me today at Live on Purpose Radio. Rod, I'm enjoying this conversation for a number of reasons. And I have to tell you, I've been podcasting since 2007, and that's that's before it was even really a thing. I've interviewed a lot of people, and there are some common themes that come up.

And and I've noticed that we don't often get to choose what happens to us. Some things just happen. Right. Surprise. Right?

It's not how I thought my life would go, but this is what I've been dealt. Right. Can you speak to that for just a minute? Because I don't think you signed up for this. I think it's just what showed up for you.

Right? Well, in mine, you're right. I didn't sign up for this, but I think most people's lives do not turn out the way they plan them, first of all. That's probably a safe statement. Yes.

And so that that's that's the first thing. But but to me, the big part of it is, it's, you know, so this is the hand you're dealt. So what are you gonna do? You know, it's, there's times I would have loved to have continued being an athlete. I would have loved to just have fun and going out on the weekends and shooting basketball, throwing football around.

But but that was a part of my life that was going to to to stay. But, you know, to me, it's all about realizing, alright, this is regardless of the hand you're dealt, you have one life and this is it. What are you gonna do with it? You know, do you wanna, you know, you gotta figure out to me it's always it's it's kind of figuring out what you're passionate about in life. What what drives you?

What excites you? What do you want to do? And everybody's a different whatever what people want out of life regardless of what if you have a physical disability or mental disability, whatever you got you still need to figure out what it is you want to accomplish out of life and figure it out. Go with what you're passionate about and then... And just do it.

You've got one life, And you can spend that life wishing that you had another one. Or I think... What was the phrase you used, Rod? Is it plug in? Well, yeah.

I was... I mean, that's... That was it. You you know, you gotta plug... You know, this is what...

Alright. If you you you you have some adversity, you know, this is what happened. You either gotta, you know, wallow in it or you gotta plug in and and, you know, you gotta work the rest of your life or I mean, do what you wanna do, figure it out. Gotta plug kinda plug back in. I think plug in to me means join in, be become, you know, be part of your life and decide what you wanna do versus kind of playing the victim.

And I think the victim doesn't plug in. I think the victim stayed by himself and kind of wallows in self pity. Plugging in means joining the rest of of of life, the rest of the world. You said earlier, Rob, that you you deal... You you play with the hand you're dealt.

Right? And and using kind of a game analogy, if we're setting... If if life is this game and we get dealt a hand, your goal doesn't change. You still wanna play to win Right. Regardless of whatever hand you're dealt, and then the hand simply becomes the context.

So if your job... If your objective is to have a... You used the word normal life. And what the heck is that anyway? Right.

Right? If your objective is to have a normal life and then boom, You you take a hit, and now you've got a spinal cord injury and some paralysis that you're dealing with. Your goal didn't change. Right. The context changed.

Yeah. Now you get to do it with this particular hand that you've been dealt. Right. And, you know, other than, you know, for instance, part of what I do as a lawyer is I I try cases. And, even though it might, you know, so I have to do some things that other lawyers don't have to think about.

Like before a case comes with like making sure when I get there, I see where the tables are set and there's cords around to make sure when I when I go up to the podium to address the jury, I don't trip over a cord, you know, stuff like that. I've got a little more planning to do. It's gonna take me a little longer to get to the courthouse. You know, stuff like I gotta make sure that, you know, I've got my shoes broken in just right. That they they can't be too old with a hole in them, but they can't be brand new because they're hard.

It's hard for me to walk in brand new shoes, that kind of stuff. I mean, there's some things that there's just more things that I've got to do, or prepare for before I do my work. But I still... But once I get in the courtroom and once I'm there in front of the jury, it's no different than than any other lawyer trying the case. You're just doing your job.

Exactly. It just takes me a little... I might have to use a little more effort to get to where, you know, where other people may not have to do that. But, it's it's not that difficult. That is one of the important parts of this this paradigm that we were talking about earlier with the victim and the agent.

See, a victim would say, I can't because... You don't list those five reasons why they can't. It... What I'm hearing from you, Rod, is completely different. So, oh, well, it's gonna take a little longer.

I'll have to do it differently. What if we were to look at it as how can I instead of I can't because? Yeah. That's a whole mind shift that changes the game, don't you think? Yeah.

It it does change the game, but like I... You said, it doesn't change the goal. Right. The goal's the same, but but it just made... About about when you play the game, it...

You just... You have to maybe do a few different things. It reminds me of team building exercises where... Have you been in these experiences before where, you know, you come together and there's a a trainer or facilitator and they say, okay. You're gonna build a tower as a team.

And everybody's like, okay. We can do this. Right? And then he says, but you have to do a blindfolded or whatever. You know?

They throw this challenge at you. Yeah. It doesn't mean you can't do it. It means you get to do it in this context. It's going to challenge you.

It's going to stretch you, and you're you're often better for the stretching. Right. I... I'm wondering, is this too bold of a question, Rod? Are you better for the stretching?

I think I've... Well, I have to answer that question. Yes. But I don't think because unless you're pushed, I think you build character by the challenges that you face and overcome. So yes, I am a I think when things come easy, things always came easy to me.

Athletically, I mean, even academically. It's not like after I broke my neck, I all of a sudden became a scholar. I was always pretty smart. But but, but yeah, I mean, it's, I tell you what, it's made me a lot tougher of a person because there's, I don't feel like there's very much that can come my way that I cannot handle. You've learned that from your experiences.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's... When you when you... I mean, every day...

And I don't think I've been like this all but every day. But I mean, it's... I mean, I struggle physically every day. I mean, getting into the office. I mean, it's, and I tell you, getting older, I mean, I'm 54 now.

When I was 25 or 30, I was walking a lot better than I am now. I mean, I would even, gosh, when my kids were little, I'd suck it up. We'd go to Disney and I refused to get in a wheelchair. I hoofed it around those parks. I mean Wow.

I would be after about a three day step down there. I would look forward to the eight hour drive back just so I could sit down. You could sit. But, so, you know, but, you know, getting older, things just get tougher. It's it's more of a struggle now than it was, physically for me.

But, you know, you just keep going. You know? It... That's that's the way it is. Yeah.

Rod, I'm I'm feeling inspired. And I don't know if that's what you came to do is inspire doctor Paul today, but, it's a reminder of things that I've known, of things that I understand. You and I are the same age. My my twin sister is 54. Okay.

Just saying. But, anyway, as life happens to us, we get to take the materials that life gives us and build something. And it it strikes me that you've taken what life has handed you and created something that you can feel good about. This this life, you labeled it a normal life. It feels almost like an extraordinary life.

Well, I think when I label it normal, I just mean I get I get to do the thing. But by not quitting, I've been able to do things that someone without a physical disability can do. I do agree with you that internally, although I wouldn't... I mean, I'll say this on your podcast, but I don't go around telling everybody what an extraordinary life I've got. Although, internally, I do believe I I have one.

It shows. It shows in your face. It shows in your energy. Yeah. The...

You're not simply enduring this challenging life. You're living a life worth living. Yeah. There's a difference. And that's a great way to put it.

I mean, I mean, I think there are people that just endure. It's like... It was like it's like the people that, you know, man, I can't. They endure Monday through Friday, and they can't wait for the weekend, and then Monday starts. It's like, they were back on Monday.

Well, that's the end... I mean, that's not really... You don't really wanna live your life just for Saturday and Sunday. Kind of the same way. You know, something right at the end of your book caught my attention.

You closed with this, this thought. It's it's from some of my favorite philosophical characters, Winnie the Pooh and Piglet. And what... The part... Can I just share this real quick?

Yeah. Yes. You said that you closed out your book here. I'll leave you with my favorite quote from AA Milne, who is the author of of Winnie the Pooh. What day is it?

It's today, squeaked Pibbler. My favorite day, said Pooh. That, you know, that's it, isn't it? Yeah. I thought...

I mean, that that... And those those three lines, I think, it it kinda wraps up kinda every, you know, whatever... Kind of what I'm all about. Well, I appreciate that you were willing to come and share some of your story with us here today at Live On Purpose Radio. Rod, how can people connect you?

You've got this book. Get back up. I imagine they can find that either on your website or Amazon. Where where do we go? Yeah.

Do... If people just wanna go to Amazon, they can pick it up there. That... That's probably the best way to go do it. And, again, that's Get Back Up by Rob Cate, spelled with a c, c a t e.

Yeah. Rob, thank you so much for joining us today at Live On Purpose Radio. It's been my pleasure. Thanks for having me on. It's a lot of fun.

Well, folks, you've heard it. Hopefully, like me, you felt inspired by this story of of what you too can do with whatever it is that life deals you. This has been Rod Kate joining me today at Live On Purpose Radio and now it's your turn to go live on purpose.