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You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest into the lives of others. Find out more at youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You can mentor. What up, mentors?
Speaker 1:Zach Garza here. Yo. Today on the pod, we got Jose Rodriguez, the founder and CEO of Rescue a Generation, a nonprofit equipping and empowering urban youth who face challenges like gangs, poverty, and instability. Jose was once caught up in gang life himself, but he experienced transformation through faith and became the first in his family to graduate both high school and college, earning a degree in youth ministry and theology from Oral Roberts University. He has since dedicated his life to coaching, speaking, and writing, authoring Rescue a Generation Reaching the Least, Last, and Lost.
Speaker 1:He is known for his authenticity and fullness. He travels nationally to inspire youth and leaders with a message that God still records people. His nonprofit Rescue a Generation, their mission is to see cities transformed by coaching, empowerment, and sharing the gospel to students, youth workers, and communities. Guys, this pod is absolutely amazing. One of the most encouraging ones that I've had in a while.
Speaker 1:We talk about having thick skin and a soft heart, giving up on giving up. We talk about how love is a universal language, earning the right to be heard, ministry of presence, change a mind, change a life. And lastly, we talk about Nancy. So tune in, share the pod, give us that five star. You can mentor.
Speaker 1:Alright. Welcome to the You Can Mentor podcast. I'm with my new friend, Jose Rodriguez from Rescue a Generation. Jose, say hi.
Speaker 2:Hey. What's up, man? Happy to hang out with you, Zachary.
Speaker 1:Man, Jose and I connected through I think it was through Simple Mentoring 10 by 10, Ray Chang. And, man, I pulled up your website, and I was like, what is this? Like, this is some amazing stuff this guy's got going on. So super happy to have you today on the pod. Man, you're in SoCal.
Speaker 1:Right? Southern California.
Speaker 2:About an hour East of LA. Our office is actually in San Bernardino, which when I moved here I'm actually originally from Oklahoma. When I moved here, was the second poorest city in the nation, second to Detroit. It was the largest city of its kind to ever file for bankruptcy at the time. Since then, I think a few others have, but at the time.
Speaker 2:And so, man, it was it was poverty stricken. Downtown at one point was booming. Our church was located in downtown, and every day, I'm going to to the church. Because I moved out here for ministry, and, man, I felt like I missed the rapture on my way into church, like, literally just ghost town. Business is warm, boarded up, like, just me on the road and and not many other people around.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, San Bernardino is where our offices are, and then we we kinda span all over SoCal in the work we do on on school campuses.
Speaker 1:Man, you went from Oklahoma to Southern California? Yeah.
Speaker 2:Born and raised in Tulsa. I I grew up actually in the North Side Of Tulsa, in the neighborhood that's famously known for the Tulsa race riots, so the Greenwood District. So I was the only Latino kid in this all black neighborhood. My dad was a drug dealer most of my childhood, and so, you know, you you learn survival. So age of 12, I get jumped into this all black gang, and so I wasn't I wasn't black, so I didn't fully fit in.
Speaker 2:But then, also, Mexicans hated me or, like, the Latino community hated me because I'm I'm running with these other guys, and so really a lot of confusion growing up. And then then, you know, fast forward, felt I was supposed
Speaker 1:to go to SoCal to be in San Bernardino and try to help make a difference out here. That's what got me out here. Man, I love that. Jose and I were talking earlier, and I was just telling them how I just love interviews like this where, you know, God so often kinda takes our pain and turns it into our passion. You know?
Speaker 1:And every so often, you'll meet someone who, you know, you ask them why they do what they do, they're like, man, I'm I'm creating the thing that I wish I had as a kid. You know? And so, man, I wanna get to what you're doing. I wanna get to the awesome work there. But, man, can you just kinda share with me just just what was that like growing up in in North Tulsa?
Speaker 1:Just talk about your family, talk about how you were feeling, all of that stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Well, it was pretty chaotic. In fact, one of the one of the kind of biggest differences in my coming to Jesus was I felt like I had experienced peace for the first time, and I think when you live in chaos your entire life so, like, my dad was a drug dealer. All his family I mean, in my blood, like, my immediate family, I got literally pimps, prostitutes, gang members, drug dealers, like and I was I was in it. Like, I was it wasn't like I was the outward side one in.
Speaker 2:Like, I was growing up in all of that. Right? And so pretty chaotic, moved around a lot, whether my dad felt like he was running from cops or being evicted for different reasons, so, like, all types of stuff. Moved into the Greenwood District and made some friends pretty quickly. It'd always been pretty, like, outgoing, and, you know, I was a sports guy, so, you know, playing basketball and, you know, baseball, football.
Speaker 2:So just really connect with people. But seventh grade year, my dad got sent to prison. And while he was on drugs, he was there but not there, like, kinda gone for stint at time coming back. And then when he went to prison, I felt like I needed to protect my family. And so I joined the gang, and he was sentenced to three years.
Speaker 2:Only ended up serving four months, but that felt like a really long four months. And and, yeah, I just felt like I had to do what I had to do. And so back started fighting, I mean, you name it, had a had a little 38 special on me as a 12 year old, like, you know, I I thought I was the guy, and looking to be respected. My my aspirations in life at that time because of the people that I saw, anybody with money had rims in a car and had some type of a drug background, so I thought, like, I'm gonna be a successful drug dealer, and that'll be the aspirations that I have as a 12 year old. That was that was what I saw.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, that was life for me life for me growing up in North Tulsa.
Speaker 1:Man, like, I I know for me, obviously, didn't have the exact same story as you, but and I find that, like, so many of these kids who make choices, you know, that kinda get them off of off of the good path of life. You know, on the outside, it looks like they're just trying to be cool. On the outside, it looks like they're just trying to get money. But so so often, there's a need behind the deed. Right?
Speaker 1:Yep. And I have found that for me at least, like, fear is a huge kinda driver. And so tell me what that was like, man. Just like you're seeing your dad go off to prison, and I'm I'm assuming you're just terrified. But, like, what are some of the thoughts that you had going through your head as a kid who's in seventh and eighth grade?
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. Fear I that's a good good word to use. There was, for sure, some fear there. I was a scrawny little seventh grader, so I was pretty skinny and, you know, I was a scrapper, man.
Speaker 2:I was like, yo, you know, swing first. Don't stop swinging. Like, that was my mentality. So, like, you know, I wasn't wasn't, like, afraid of people necessarily. I was afraid of the situation we were in.
Speaker 2:I was afraid of, like, man, I wouldn't be able to protect my mom and sister if I had to. Like, those were those were the fears. But in addition to fear, I would say family was a driving force. Because my family was so broken and kind of messed up, And when my dad went, I felt a hole. There was a gap there, and I felt like I needed to belong somewhere, like, because home didn't feel belonging to me, and I found a way to belong with the people around me just by wearing the color they wear, throwing some signs up saying the stuff they say, right?
Speaker 2:Like, and and that belonging to me was safe. It felt like home. It felt like, man, this is this is what I should be doing, and it actually felt good. Like, there was like, you know I mean? On the outside looking in, you think, like, man, joining a gang is so horrible.
Speaker 2:Like, actually, like, I found a family, and a family that loved me and embraced me. I often say this, I think I think gangs disciple people way better than churches do, and, like, I felt that. I mean, they they were proud of me. They were like I was I mean, yeah, it was so fear, but really the family component was what drove me into those decisions, and it wasn't until I found a different family that I was even willing to cut ties with that one, and so that was that was the story of my my longing in my heart was, man, I need a family that cares, that believes in me, that will support me. And so many of the I mean, you know, so many of the students that we work with at even at Rescue Generation don't have a place to belong.
Speaker 2:Life is crazy. They don't feel safe. They don't have peace. They can't just sit and breathe. Like, everything is all over the place.
Speaker 2:And and, really, that's that's what I was drawn to the gang for, the sense of belonging.
Speaker 1:Man, gangs to settle people better than churches. Calm. That's a unfortunately, I think you might be right there. And just, like, you know, who doesn't wanna feel valued? Who doesn't wanna show worth?
Speaker 1:Who doesn't wanna show belonging? Who doesn't, when they walk in the room, want someone to be like, hey. What's up, Jose? How you doing, man? So good to see you, bro.
Speaker 1:Awesome job. You know? I'm just like, man. Like, man, that's convicting. You just convict anything, bro.
Speaker 1:Okay. So you said that you found your family until you found a different family. Man, so just like, I wanna hear about this, you know, I was going this way, but then I wanna hear about the transformation. So Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, around the same time I started to hang out with the gang and we lived in this neighborhood, I also started getting knocks on my door every weekend by a church, and the church had a big bus ministry. So they I mean, literally, we're busing 32 buses all throughout the city, bringing in over 2,000 inner city young kids like me to church on a weekend, and it was it was pretty wild. Now they knocked probably a 100 times, and I said no probably a 100 times. Wasn't interested, didn't care about God, Jesus, church, anything like that. And I say it humorously, but it actually really was the case.
Speaker 2:Like, one day I was outside playing basketball, and I saw the bus drive by, and they stopped down the road, and I saw some of my friends get off the bus, and I said that there was girls, and they got off the bus with pizza. And I thought, girls and pizza, man, I'm going to church next week. And so I go to church, and my first day at church, man, I'm I I don't know what to expect, and and it's not like I'm in a in an environment that doesn't feel like or look like me. I'm I'm at a church with 2,000 kids just like me. So I don't go in there thinking it's a church.
Speaker 2:I go in there very, like, head on a swivel, You know, if we gotta fight, we gotta like, that that it was my mentality. And so I remember on the way home from church, me and my friends throwing up gang signs out the bus window. You know, we're just we're just those kids, and the bus captain wanted to drop me off at the house, and my sister was helping to pass out pizza that day. Her first time too, she just happened to be helping. And so he wanted to bring my sister back around, and I was like, look, no, I'm I'm staying with my sister.
Speaker 2:You're not doing that. Well, the problem was if I stay, then my friends stay. It's just not a good recipe. Like, we were already causing all types of havoc. And so the guy goes to ask me to get off the bus, and I'm like, no.
Speaker 2:I'm not getting off the bus. Like, if I'm getting off, my sister's getting off. And he didn't know how to handle a kid like me at all. And he immediately goes to pray, and which which all good. I believe in prayer, but I didn't know what it was in.
Speaker 2:He goes to pray, and he goes to lay a hand on you as he's praying. Like like, he, goes in, and, man, I laid a hand right back on him. It was just a different type of hand. And so, like, I got kicked out of church my first day at church for fighting the bus captain, and that brought me to church. And that that really I mean, I felt like there's no no way you want me back at your church after that.
Speaker 2:Like, I mean, I I just gave this guy, you know, a two piece, and, you know, and and, like and but literally, about a month later, he starts knocking on my door again. Hey. Want you to come back? I'm like, okay. That's weird.
Speaker 2:Like, we we just fought, and you want me to come back to church with you. And, eventually, there was a lady named Nancy who was on the bus at the time, and she started a leadership and training program. Nancy lives in Atlanta currently, and, man, she had this audacious god dream to take these 23 inner city kids to create a leadership and training program, which was a discipleship program, but to also, out of that discipleship program, create indigenous missionaries. So how do you take these 23 kids and make them missionaries to their own community? And I was 15 years old, and Nancy took 23 of us on a mission trip to Belize, Central America.
Speaker 2:I almost didn't get to go because I was fresh off probation for stealing cards. So, like, I mean, I was I was in the thick of it, man, just doing all types of stuff. I go to Belize, and I'll fast track it after this. Go to Belize. My my mission in Belize was to see if I could kiss a girl there and how many numbers I could get because we didn't have Facebook and all of that back then.
Speaker 2:So, like, how how many, like, numbers can I get? Not that I would ever call them, but, like, that's what I wanted to do while I was out there. And so I I'm out there, but the church, they taught me how to do these skits, these dramas. I was on, like, this drama team, and then they taught me how to tell my testimony. So I'm gonna my testimony.
Speaker 2:Right? So I wrote the one page testimony. The problem was I wasn't a believer yet. I just I just wrote what they told me to write. So I wrote, hey, I used to be in a gang, I used to smoke weed, I used to dinner in a fight, la la la.
Speaker 2:Jesus came into my life. I'm no longer doing that, you know. I I wrote what they told me to write, and I was not a believer yet. And, man, that mission trip, both of how we raised money for the trip and then the trip itself created a bond in us kids that was just undeniable, unforgettable. It was it was special.
Speaker 2:And I go to this trip. First school we're at, we're in Belize, and they say, Jose, will you get up and share your testimony at the end of it? So I'd I'd say the testimony, and I ask them who wants to give their life to Christ, and almost every hand in the school went up. And I I I would say I probably got convicted for the first time because I knew I was lying to them. Like, I just lied to these this whole school of kids, and they all said yes to Jesus.
Speaker 2:And that trip was probably the trip that I felt family for the first time. I've experienced peace for the first time. I had a pretty radical moment with Jesus on that trip, and that was that was what started to turn the corner for me. That trip, I would say, changed quite a bit
Speaker 1:for me. What who was the name of that guy that you hit on the bus?
Speaker 2:What was his name? Howard.
Speaker 1:Man, I wanna hear about the encounter with Jesus.
Speaker 2:Well, it was yeah. Ironically, were at a small church in Belize, and we were doing these skits, and our pastor that we went with was gonna share the message with the, you know, local community there. And he shares his message. And, you know, I'm hanging out with friends after we're doing our skits, so we're kinda laughing and, you know, all of that. Right?
Speaker 2:Well, I have a friend that's with me, a pretty big buff black guy, right, like, just and we were in a gang together, so we we, you know, we did some dirt together, all of that. And at the end of the message, to me, it's like clockwork. I'm like, k. They're gonna do the altar call. We'll go up and pray.
Speaker 2:You know, that we just know know what we're gonna do. Well, toward the end of the message, I look over, and my friend is in tears. And now I'm like, bro, like, that's weird. Like, what are you crying for? Like, nobody nobody hurts you.
Speaker 2:Nothing that bad is happening. And he starts he just starts crying, and so he responds to the altar call. And, again, we're supposed to be praying for people. He doesn't go up to pray. He actually just responds.
Speaker 2:He goes up to receive prayer. And I'm I'm loyal. I've always been loyal. I would say being in the gang taught me that as well. Like, if I just go up and stand next to him.
Speaker 2:Like, I'm not even praying for him. I'll just go up and stand next to him. I would when I was at that that altar call, and, you know, depending on where people stand theologically, you know, some people don't value that, but I feel like what I experienced there, I'll never forget, and it began to work in me. Like and all I can describe it as, I knew I wasn't high. There was no extracurricular activities happening, and I experienced a peace that I would call the presence of God for the first time.
Speaker 2:And I whatever that was, whatever that, like yes. It was emotional, but whatever that was, I'm like, this this is what I what I need to go after. And that was actually what led my decision to say yes to Jesus, yeah, and coming back. You know, I looked to change everything right away. So I went to a Christian school after that.
Speaker 2:Like, I thought, I'm a I'm a go and go all the way in, and, yeah, didn't didn't stay that way, but that's how it started.
Speaker 1:Alright, man. Well, thank God for Howard and Nancy. Right? Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Okay. So let's let's put ourselves in their shoes. Okay? Tell me what you think they saw when they looked at you.
Speaker 2:That's a really good I I say this about Nancy all the time. I I have a book out, and it's called Rescue a Generation, and I write a whole chapter about Nancy in there. Like, I I feel like the world may not ever know her name because she's not, like, on stages or platforms. But, man, over my lifetime, even already, I've probably seen a 100,000 kids say yes to Jesus, and I think Nancy is gonna get so much credit for that in heaven. Like, when she saw me, I was rough around the edges.
Speaker 2:I was a fighter. I had a attitude, you know, all types of things. But I think she saw some type of potential in me for leadership. And and, yes, I was leading all the wrong ways, but she saw that there. And I I say it like this, and I I would tell our team this all the time, like, one of our main responsibilities as a youth worker is to become a professional gold digger, and she became that.
Speaker 2:She had to get beyond the rubble, get beyond the rough patches and and the craziness, and and really, like, reach in and see the leader in me and begin to call that out of me. And and it it shifted my entire life. Like, she saw what I felt like others did not because I was really good at showing this side of me that I didn't even know that part existed. And it took somebody like a Nancy to to come and say, like, there's something there. Let let's put you in a position, like, you know, in leadership and help you lead, and it it changed my life.
Speaker 1:Man, to all of you out there, you know, who are mentoring kids, you know, just man, this is what's so crazy. Like, you just never know what the kid you're investing into will become. And, I mean, I bet after spending a month with you and someone would tap Nancy on the shoulder be like, hey. Did you know he's gonna start a ministry and reach you over a 100,000 kids? She would laugh in your face.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's it's worse than that, actually. So I I had a chance a few years back to speak at Youth Specialties back when they were doing their conferences, and I remember, you know, 5,000 people in the room, and I say, yo, how many of you have a kid that just gives you a headache? Like, you know, just that kid that just does all the wrong things, and and, you know, most people raise their hand or whatever, and I was like, yeah, that kid had nothing on me as a teenager. Like, the like I say this word, the hell I put Nancy through as a teenager, it just in my own dysfunction and brokenness and misbehavior from from, like, sexual relationships to still in a church van to fighting at church to, like, bringing a gun to church. Like, I was I was, like, the worst kid.
Speaker 2:Like like, you did not want me at your church. It was not gonna be a good situation. And in all of that, I remember I ended up getting I came back from the mission trip. I went to a Christian school, which our church it was a large church. I had a Christian school.
Speaker 2:I didn't make it a semester. I ended up getting kicked out of the school for multiple suspensions, but the the ultimate thing was I stole a church van, and they kicked me out. And and literally, I I gave Nancy every reason to be like, oh, that's it. Like, no more. Alright.
Speaker 2:We tried. It's not gonna work. While I while I was out, Nancy was still checking on me. Nancy still, like like, would check-in. And if she didn't, I would not be where I am today.
Speaker 2:Like so so the whole idea of rescuing a generation I love that you referenced our our name and, like, you know, how much you appreciate the name. I tell people all the time, like, it's we didn't conjure up the name in strategic planning session. I felt like I gave God every reason to throw the towel in on me, and every time he would send a Nancy to reach in and rescue me again, and just kept pulling me out of my own mess. And I am who I am because we serve have a sovereign God that still rescues people, and I just was like, I'll spend the rest of my life going after kids who are falling through the cracks that are still in church vans, you know, and fighting and, like because I was that kid, and and, man, God rescues. And so how can I spend the rest of my life doing just that?
Speaker 1:Man, okay. So if there's a mentor out there who has a kid who's just, you know, doing some of the things that you just talked about, first off, still in a church, man, mad props. Was wild. That's legit. And they hold their arm, but that's hilarious.
Speaker 1:Alright, man. So this is kind of a kind of a weird question. So I'm putting myself in her shoes. She's watching you do all this stuff. She's frustrated maybe.
Speaker 1:When she hits her knees at night and she's praying for you, tell me what you think she's hearing from God.
Speaker 2:What a a powerful question. Well well, first, let me say this because I know this. It's not at night. It's in the morning. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And and she has my name on a paper, like like, daily. Today, like, right now in real time, if there's nobody I mean, my wife prays for me daily, but if there's nobody in the world that's praying for Jose, Nancy is calling out Jose's name daily still. And I think what what she's hearing from God and probably what she's, like, praying about is it probably has a lot to do with just identity and and seeing yourself the way God sees you. And because I because I had so much brokenness, like, that I had to, like, wrestle through and trauma, all all the things. Right?
Speaker 2:Like, I had a lot of just pain. It took me a lot to uncover, like, what was what was underneath the surface, and so, you know, I I often tell people, like, I did a lot before Christ, but I I messed up more probably after cracks than I did before. Like, I would just like, pain, and every time I would mess up, Nancy would say this. I just she would she would call me she would call me a man of God, and then she would call me she would call me a man of valor. And then she would say what's the last thing she said?
Speaker 2:She said, I didn't think she'd do it, like, the devil is a liar. And like like, literally, like, those small, like like, I just gave you every reason to show you I'm not that, and I'm not that. And her response to that is, the devil is a liar. Like, and you are who God said you are. So, like, to me, she was already there.
Speaker 2:Like, God had already shown, God had already revealed, you know, something to her that that kept her in the fight for as long as she stayed there, man, until until even today. Actually, she's in Atlanta, and I will see her next week when we fly out. And we just me and my wife just had our first baby. I have a five month old. And and I'm just man, where I am today, if Nancy did not pursue me, go after me, my family wouldn't be here the way it is, like, my son wouldn't be here the way he is, like, it's making me emotional, but I I I'm so grateful that God used a Nancy.
Speaker 2:And I say it that way because, like, I'm not idolizing Nancy either. She was a vessel that was used by God, but she saw something that I felt like nobody else did, because I gave people a lot of reasons not to see it. And and she, in all of her she's she's just as stubborn as I am, probably, in all of her stubbornness. She was like, I'm not throwing the towel in, and and here we are today.
Speaker 1:Man, that's a great it's a great story. It's a great testimony. Mean, my mentor, the guy who, you know, helped me get he calls me a man of god too every time I call him, every time I text. I got I got that tattoo right there. It says it says man of god in his handwriting.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's fire. I man, it's everything that you talked about from the very beginning. It's identity. It's family. It's a place to belong.
Speaker 1:It's a place to receive encouragement and affirmation and attention and just a family, man. Just come as you are. And, I mean, there's nothing special about Nancy except for the fact that she just didn't quit on you, just like she just doesn't quit on us. And, man, we get so caught up as mentors. You know?
Speaker 1:I gotta fix the grades. I gotta fix the haircut. I gotta teach them how to shake a hand and write a job resume. You know? And, yes, those are helpful.
Speaker 1:Please don't get me wrong. But at the end of the day, how can we help a kid see himself how God sees them? And Yeah. How can we introduce them to the father who will never leave them, the father who always has a seat at the table for them? Yeah.
Speaker 1:How can we, you know, give them that identity? Hey. Like, you aren't where you come from. You're not what you do. You are a son.
Speaker 1:You are beloved. You have worth. You have value. Like, you were made on purpose for a purpose. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I just think about, like, everything that we learn from your story. So, like, one of my questions, you know, is what what can we take away from your story? And I just I just have down a couple things. One, Howard. You know?
Speaker 1:If if he would have responded in a way that would have been totally appropriate man, I'm not messing with that kid anymore. He he hit me, but he didn't. He forgave. He continued to pursue. He could have given that assignment to anyone else.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And that opened up the door for a Nancy who gave you purpose. Like, man, what what human being doesn't need purpose? Yeah. She invested into you, which said that you had something that she saw in you, which, I mean, that's giving you confidence.
Speaker 1:She gave you a chance. Like, man, I'm not taking you to Belize. I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 1:I mean, she gave you family. She gave you peace. She created an environment for you to experience the Holy Spirit. You know? She invited your friends, pizza, prayer, like, man, as as mentors, like, this is a great list of things that we can do for our mentees.
Speaker 1:We can give them a purpose. We can invest into them. We can give them a chance to to lead, to succeed. We can give them peace. We can invite them.
Speaker 1:We can we can hang out with all their friends, pizza. We can pray for them. Yeah. Dear Lord, we could pray for them. So Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I just absolutely love that. So alright, man. Well, tell me about Rescue A Generation. Tell me about how all this, your your your story, your testimony, what are you doing now?
Speaker 2:Well, I ended up right after I graduated high school, I couldn't go to college because my GPA was too low, and Nancy convinced me to go to bible college. And so I went to a bible college, ended up at Oral Roberts, did, you know, four years degree in theology. So I I thought, man, after college, I was gonna go be a youth pastor at a megachurch somewhere because come from a megachurch, you know, was helping to be a part of a pretty large youth ministry in an urban context. I felt like it was really awesome. And then now I got a degree in theology, so, like, surely, you know, some I have somebody will hire me.
Speaker 2:Right? And out of college, I ended up getting unmarried and divorced pretty quickly in, like, less than a year, and was really just found myself back at rock bottom again, pretty broken. And at that time, I was I was looking for, like, a spiritual father to, there was a lot of people impressed by my gifts, and, like, what I could do. There wasn't a lot of people that cared for my character, and I was looking for somebody that was not impressed with my gifts, that would really tell me to sit down and shut up somewhere and, like you know? And and I I met a guy out here in San Bernardino, German Dumas, who honestly connected from a distance and had that, like, connection right away.
Speaker 2:And once the divorce was final, I said, yo, I don't wanna do ministry no more, man. I'll I'll just I wanna move to California and learn from you, so I'll go get a job. But whatever it took, like, I'll just go do that. Well, I mean, it was a three year old church plant, no money, no resources, but they had a they didn't have a youth pastor, and so he was like, well, I've I can make you a youth pastor here, and we can't pay. So, you know, if you wanna be a missionary to San Bernardino, we'll let you raise your own money to work full time at the church.
Speaker 2:And so that's what I moved out here for. I really was moved out to be a son more than anything. Like, I was like, I wanna wanna learn from somebody that has the tools that I need to learn from, and and then got thrown into ministry pretty quickly. And I had 50 kids, man, in my youth group. I couldn't break 50.
Speaker 2:I couldn't get them over 50, but I had 50 kids straight out of the school of Hard Knocks. And so I was a youth pastor out here in San Bernardino. I got calls from kids that were just like me, man. Like, I used to say, you know, you you know you're an urban youth pastor when supporting your kids is in a courtroom as a character witness and not not in a on a basketball court somewhere. Right?
Speaker 2:And multiple occasions. Like and and they were guilty. I just had to show up and be with them in it. Like, they're not alone, like and so I would get calls like, pastor Jose, they just jumped my mom. I'm about to go kill somebody.
Speaker 2:And and, I mean, how do you respond? I was like, yo, like, don't go nowhere till I get there. 03:00 in the morning, I'm getting out of bed driving to a house, not not with answers, and not not even I mean, I prayed, but not even with prayer. Like, he because he didn't wanna hear none of that. Like, he just needed somebody to be with him, and so I really learned the ministry of presence and, like, how valuable it was to be with people in their most broken state.
Speaker 2:So all that's happening, I feel like I'm in a training ground on on really how to reach kids that were just like me, at the same time, I was trying to get on campuses as a youth pastor because I feel like every youth pastor should be on campuses doing the work. And I had a principal tell me no because I was a pastor. She didn't want me on her campus. And then I had another youth pastor in our city. He got territorial over his Christian club.
Speaker 2:So there was a Christian club. I was like, hey. Can I volunteer here? I get a call from the teacher later. She says, hey.
Speaker 2:This church sponsors this club, so, you know, kinda don't come back. And so, you you know, I got told no twice in a matter of, like, a couple of weeks, and I just thought, yo, I'm I've never I've always been too much of a thug to take no for an answer. And I was like, I'm gonna find a way to make it impossible for a principal to tell me no and for a youth pastor to get territorial. And so I started to think about the situation in our city, poverty being the biggest issue. I wrote a curriculum teaching success principles.
Speaker 2:I completely secularized it because I thought if I can change their mind, I could change their life. And most kids who grow up in poverty might leave the physical poverty, but still have the mindset of poverty. And so I thought, why not change the mind of poverty before we change the physical aspect of poverty? And I found a foot in the door, man. Got got invited to one school, started after school, and started packing off the library with these kids that wanna wear success principles.
Speaker 2:Ironically, it wasn't a Christian club. It was success principles. I was a pastor, so I could always invite them to my church. Like so I was like, yo, if you wanna come hang out with me on a Sunday, I was doing that. But and I had Muslims in my group.
Speaker 2:I had atheists in my group. I had good kids. I had bad kids. I we were rich in everybody. And one day, a young lady comes in with a bunch of friends and a bad attitude, and and I just thought, man, it's gonna be a fun day today.
Speaker 2:And we have a interaction. At the time, we had utilized life coaching in our program, which is all question asking and inquiry based, and so I'm not telling them what to think. I'm presenting an idea, and then I'm processing with questions. So I asked the question, what's the worst thing you've ever done? She raised her hand, said, okay.
Speaker 2:What what was it? She said, I fought my grandma. And I was like, alright. Alright. I think you win.
Speaker 2:Like, I've done a lot of bad things. I ain't never fought a grandma, you know? But I said, would you let me would you let me for a few minutes ask you a bunch of questions in front of your friends here? Let's just see see what you get out of it. So she was up for it.
Speaker 2:So then I started asking her questions. I don't remember the exact question I asked her, but I will never forget the look on her face changed. She said, I feel unloved by my family. And her whole face changed, and it was almost as if she wished she didn't say it. And then my next question was, I mean, that's that's a pretty despairing statement, and I said, okay, is there just one person in your family that you know loves you?
Speaker 2:Like, that's a that's a, like, glaring, ah. Is there just one sliver of hope in there? And then she said, oh, man. She said, I I actually know my family loves me. I just don't always feel like they do.
Speaker 2:And she walks around angry every day because she doesn't feel like her family loves her. So had a really powerful moment. She ghosts me after that. I don't see her again for the rest of the semester, and the the teacher had told me earlier in the year she got suspended for fighting a security guard. I actually thought maybe she got expelled for something.
Speaker 2:I was like, maybe she just got in trouble again. The last day of school, she comes back to me, and this is where I realized rescuer generation was more than just the after school program or hangout, and there's value in it. I'm not that's not to, like, diminish those, but, like, she comes back up to me and she said, I had to come say thank you. She said, for the first time ever, I walked away from fights this year because of that conversation we had. And I really felt like, man, if I spent you know, my philosophy in ministry, which probably a lot of the big c church, is let's get kids saved and then plugged into a small group.
Speaker 2:Right? Saved and then disciple. This shifted it because what Jesus models in the gospels is how do you disciple people into the faith, into salvation. He says, Matthew four, come follow me. Matthew 16, who does man say that I am?
Speaker 2:Now who do you say that I am? That was, like, come hang with me. Come, like, do life with me before there's ever a salvation conversation. So my philosophy shifted. I said, I would rather spend time helping kids like her make better choices and not get in trouble and earn the right to invite her off the campus where I can really share Jesus with her, then getting kids saved and then plugged into my small group, but their behavior is the same, so I still gotta go be a character witness at a court because they just did something crazy like I did.
Speaker 2:And, man, fast forward, we have a life coaching program on campuses. It's an intervention program. We're on slated to be on about 40 schools out here. Essentially, Whitsall scores schools give us 30 of your worst students and let us spend ten weeks with them. And it's I mean, 24% decrease in chronic absenteeism from kids that have gone through our program, radical behavior changes.
Speaker 2:We got stories of kids going from all f's to all a's. One young lady was suspended nine times in two months. Got into our program as a seventh grader, graduated high school a year ago, never been suspended again since seventh grade after getting into our program. Radical behavior change. And so, man, that's our philosophy.
Speaker 2:We wanna love kids, help them make better choices, and earn the right to invite them off the campus to one of our faith based events like manhood camp or the takeover where we could share the gospel with them there. That was a mouthful, but that was how we got where we are.
Speaker 1:It's awesome, man. I just love that. Some of the things that I wrote down, you know, we just have to earn the right to be heard. You know, kids don't care what you know till they know that you care. You know, it's just all about that ministry of presence.
Speaker 1:Like, how can we just show up? Kids don't need our answers. They just need us. Yeah. Change your mind.
Speaker 1:Change your life. Man, you know, I'm sitting here taking a look at your website, and it says that you guys have have a couple goals. You know, you equip leaders by providing support, coaching, mentorship for leaders working within urban youth. You coach students by empowering them with a combination of motivational speaking, personal life coaching, interactive activities in order to help students make the necessary changes to achieve their goals. And then lastly, impact communities by leading people to transformation with the gospel and mobilizing them to advance the kingdom in their communities.
Speaker 1:Man, I just love that. So, Jose, man. Okay. So some of the mentors that might be tuning in today, they might be mentoring a kid. They might be trying to build a relationship with a kid just like you or just just like you are.
Speaker 1:Man, what what advice, what would you say to them? How can you encourage them to keep on going, to keep on loving? And then, man, just so that's part one. And then the second thing is just, like, if you're mentoring a kid who's different from you, maybe maybe different race, different socioeconomic, you know, all of those things, what are some things to keep in mind?
Speaker 2:I love the second question. I love both questions, but that second question is that I I love that one. But so the first one I mean, if you're mentoring a kid just like me, number one, the hardest part about ministry with a kid like me is how to maintain thick skin and a soft heart. And it's really it's really one of the really challenging things to do and probably one of the most powerful things you can do. Like, have thick skin, be able to weather the storms that they'll put you through because they will put you through them, and maintain a soft heart, maintain love for them, you know, kind of, you know, give up on giving up.
Speaker 2:Like like, you gotta commit to not throwing in the towel. Like, really, like, I'm gonna go the distance. You know, scriptures make it clear that there's one thing that never fails, and that's love. And what would it look like for you to fully love them in the middle of their mess and brokenness and show up for them, Arabicans? So but those are the things when it comes to connecting or relating to somebody who's not like where you're from, demographically, racially, socioeconomically, I mean, you across the spectrum, wherever you wanna go, Nancy was a middle aged white lady.
Speaker 2:I had nothing in common with Nancy. Nancy learned and listened to me. She did not cast judgments like she listened and learned so much so that I will never forget what I write this in my book. I write there's one one thing that that changed my life forever, and it was a conversation we had. And it wasn't at the altar, and it was not about the gospel even.
Speaker 2:Nancy listened enough to know I was a fighter, and if I was fighting, then I might like boxing. And she brought up a boxing match that was coming up and asked me, was I gonna watch it? And there was something about the way she did that that I was like, what do you know about boxing? Like, they're like, why are you asking me this? That's something I would talk about with my friends, my dad, like, why are you?
Speaker 2:But that question lowered my guard, and it opened up my heart to have an actual relationship with Nancy. Because prior to that, I was indoctrinated with, you know, white people want something from you. They're like, all all of this thing. Right? Like and and that that, like, dropped the wall about boxing.
Speaker 2:Love is a universal language. Find a common ground. Find something in common with the people you're reaching. People are not projects, they're people. If you can find a common ground and love them relentlessly, you will be amazed at the results.
Speaker 2:You don't even need skills. Like, you don't even need, like you don't even need a how to manual. You just need, like, love and being willing to listen long enough to find a common ground, And, I mean, the rest would really be history.
Speaker 1:Man, thick skin, soft heart, give up on giving up, love is a universal language, and I'm gonna steal about 15 of these little things. Take it. I'm sure I got them somewhere too. Call that godly stealing.
Speaker 2:That's that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Absolutely. I love it, man. I am I'm encouraged by your testimony. There's power in your testimony.
Speaker 1:And, man, I'm just grateful for you. I'm grateful for your man, I'm grateful for God. I'm grateful for Nancy. I'm grateful for the fact that relationships change lives, man. I'm excited about, next week in Atlanta, man.
Speaker 1:Gonna hang out with you. So, alright. Tell tell people how to find out more about you. Tell them about the book, website, Instagram, all that stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It's really complicated. It's rescue a generation. I mean, you can find us everywhere. The website, social media is rescue a gen, g e n.
Speaker 2:The book is rescue a generation, reaching the least, last, and lost. It's really how to reach kids who are hard to reach, falling through the cracks. I would highly recommend it for anybody that's working with urban and at risk youth. It's very interactive. There's questions.
Speaker 2:You could take a whole team of people through it, questions at the end of every chapter, and then a video at the end of every chapter to give context to the chapter. So, like, really cool. My friends over at LifeWay hooked me up with all of that. And so yeah. So look.
Speaker 2:And then we do trainings. We do a one full day training for groups and organizations and churches called one degree, and it's really how to take your leadership to, you know, one degree more so that you can make the impact that God's called you to make. And so any way that we can train, we do a coaching certification where we certify youth workers as life coaches. We use a type of coaching called transformational coaching. It has been the secret to our success.
Speaker 2:We'd be happy to invite anybody into our one day training, which would be a taste test of that or our actual coaching certification that we do over the summer. I believe this. Coaching is the new mentoring. I think if we're gonna be effective at mentoring, we gotta be great question askers and great listeners. And I just think it's the wave to where the world's going.
Speaker 2:Coaching is probably a billion dollar industry, and I'm telling you it works. I'm telling you young people need it, and I think youth workers around the world need to be well versed in coaching so that we can make the impact God's calling us to make. And so, yeah, look us up. I'm all over the place. And, yeah, if you're in Atlanta next week, come hang out with us at ten by ten Summit.
Speaker 2:And, yeah, I'm happy to connect with anybody that'd like to.
Speaker 1:Man, I agree with that coaching thing. That just there's something powerful about questions. You know? I I have no idea what the quote is, what the number is, but, like, take a look at how many questions he gets asked in his ministry. It's ridiculous.
Speaker 1:Alright, man. Thank you all so much for tuning into the pod. I mean, this is just so much good stuff. Very, very thankful. For those of y'all tuning in, share this with a mentoring friend.
Speaker 1:Remember, you can mentor. See y'all. See you. Thanks for tuning in to the You Can Mentor podcast. Our vision is to raise up and invest in mentoring leaders who will launch and grow thriving mentoring ministries.
Speaker 1:We do that by equipping and encouraging faith based leaders through relational connection, Christ centered resources, and collaborative gatherings. Check out our books, come to the National Christian Mentoring Gathering, and engage with our network and cohorts. You can find all this at ucanmentor.com or on social media. Please share this episode with a mentoring friend and leave us that five star review. Thank you.
Speaker 1:You can mentor.