REBROADCAST: Let a Win Be a Win in High Conflict

This is a rebroadcast. This episode originally aired May 11, 2023.

The definition of a “win” is different in high conflict situations as opposed to ordinary conflict. Not recognizing that a win looks quite different can inadvertently escalate conflict or take a few steps backwards. 

In today’s episode, Megan and Bill talk about:

• defining what it means to “win” in high conflict
• do you need to reach an expected outcome to have success
• temptation to keep going when you should stop
• when do you know if you’ve won
• choosing your battles
• avoid opening up emotions 
• focusing on keeping people focused on thinking and doing

Links & Other Notes

• BOOKS
  • 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
  • Calming Upset People with EAR
  • It’s All Your Fault!
• ARTICLES
  • Tips On Offering Mediation To A High Conflict Employee
• Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
• Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
• All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.
• You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
• (02:16) - How to Avoid Sabotaging a Successful Interaction
• (03:25) - Definition of a Win in High Conflict Situations
• (06:02) - Choosing Your Battles
• (07:57) - Praise vs. Opening Up Emotions
• (10:17) - Making Progress, Not Perfection
• (13:03) - Fuhgedaboudits
• (18:32) - Blame as Indicator
• (21:21) - Coming Next Week: Exposure and Humiliation as a High-Conflict Strategy

What is It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People?

Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else.

They are the most difficult of difficult people — some would say they’re toxic. Without them, tv shows, movies, and the news would be boring, but who wants to live that way in your own life!

Have you ever wanted to know what drives them to act this way?

In the It’s All Your Fault podcast, we’ll take you behind the scenes to understand what’s happening in the brain and illuminates why we pick HCPs as life partners, why we hire them, and how we can handle interactions and relationships with them. We break down everything you ever wanted to know about people with the 5 high conflict personality types: narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, antisocial/sociopath, and paranoid.

And we’ll give you tips on how to spot them and how to deal with them.