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Relational Activities for mentor relationships. Listening, speaking, social capital. Learn about the benefits, the barriers, and the practicals behind relational mentoring activities.
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others. You can mentor.
Speaker 2:Relational mentoring activities will prepare your mentee for big changes in their life, such as their first job interview. So mentors, you're important. We hope this episode encourages you in implementing relational mentoring activities. And if you enjoy this episode, would you please let us know by rating this podcast, leaving a review, or sharing this episode with someone you know would benefit from the content? Thanks for listening.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to the You Can Mentor podcast. My name is Steven, and I'm feeling a lot of pressure because Beth told me to tell a joke at the beginning of this podcast.
Speaker 3:I just think you're really funny, and I'm putting you on the spot to showcase your humor.
Speaker 2:One time, my mentor told me how to deal with my anger. There were a lot of people making me angry. And so he said, for every person that makes you angry, I want you to write a letter to them and then burn them. So I told him that I did it, and I felt a lot better. But then I had to ask him what to do with all the letters.
Speaker 3:Oh my god. Steak it. Oh, no. Well
Speaker 2:don't mess with me Beth
Speaker 3:that was quite a joke I hope I hope the listeners hope that was satisfactory hope that is what you were hoping for in this week long wait for Steven's great joke.
Speaker 2:Oh, man. So I have a story, and this relates to relational activities. So, I mean, really, what we're gonna talk about today is, like, connections, giving your mentee connections, teaching them how to communicate, and build a social network, not just on social media. I I, like, peripherally knew Jesus when I was in high school, as in I came out with a rap album where I mentioned Jesus.
Speaker 3:Wow.
Speaker 2:But it was really like an offensive album because every other song was like putting people down, and then the other songs were like, Gotta Love Jesus So You Don't Get Shot.
Speaker 3:Oh my god.
Speaker 2:And it was like very very not who I was in real life. I mean, I was like playing Halo and Mhmm. Like doing nothing of value as a child. But because I came out with those songs, someone was like, oh my gosh, Steven should work at KSBJ. KSBJ is the Houston Christian radio station.
Speaker 2:Wow. And so someone put in a referral for me and, like, helped me to get an interview with, like, the top dogs of KSBJ to get a job. Mhmm. Well, I like when I say I barely know Jesus, I barely know Jesus. And so I'm going into this interview, and the the first question that I sit down at this table.
Speaker 2:The first question they ask is, like, can you tell us your testimony? I'd never heard that word before. Mhmm. And so I told them, well, I I was born in Plano, and then my family moved to Oklahoma. And then my dad got a job in Indonesia.
Speaker 2:And then once that was over, we moved back to Texas. And I've lived here ever since.
Speaker 3:Nothing but the facts.
Speaker 2:And that's my testimony. The interview ended about 2 minutes later Aw. And I did not get the job. Moral of the story, I don't know what the moral of the story is. The moral of the story is
Speaker 3:the So today, we're gonna
Speaker 2:talk about the
Speaker 3:importance of relational activities
Speaker 2:so this doesn't happen to your mentee.
Speaker 3:There we go. I do know one time I was working at a pottery studio, and that was, like, there's very few jobs in part time world in Amarillo, Texas that are considered, like, kind of cool. And that was one I went to growing up, he asked for a referral. I was like, okay. I'll put my name on the line for you.
Speaker 3:He comes in with his job application, asks to see the manager, and I look at him and coming in for like a job interview this this boy is wearing like a tank top and like ripped like off jeans and flip flops, clearly just rolled out of bed. I'm looking at him, and I'm like, I put my name on the line for you and this is how you're coming in for an interview. This might be bad, but whenever, I went to go get my manager, I did not tell the manager that I knew this person. I just said there's someone here who wants to turn in their job application. But because I I was just, like, okay, there was some sort of disconnect here of there are rules to, like, etiquette and, like, how to do things right and, like, applying for a job.
Speaker 3:And clearly, like, nobody had ever taught this kid how to come in. Job so so I'm sorry friend, but I'm not gonna tell them that I know you. But so that did every time, somebody asked me for my recommendation now, I do think about that and I'm like, okay, I will do this, but let's talk about how to make a good impression on a job interview if I'm gonna put my name out there for you.
Speaker 2:That's good, Beth. That is hilarious. Oh my gosh. Well, mentors, this is our hope that we would teach our our mentees relational skills, the the skills that they need to develop relationships on their own. Because I I think that that's that's probably the the primary focus is that your relationship with your kid becomes a model for what other relationships in their life can look like.
Speaker 2:And whether that's in work, whether that's in family, in their community, their neighborhood, that's that's the hope. And so we're gonna talk about the benefits, the barriers, and the practicals, the BBP. The BBP. So the benefits of teaching your mentee through relational activities, I think one of the primary ones is social capital, which your social capital is just who you know. Who do you know?
Speaker 2:And more often than not, who you know really does create a positive effect in your life. I would say that the statistical likelihood of you knowing more people will probably lead to you being, well, more well connected and having more diverse views, having more healthy social life Yeah. Not feeling alone. Mhmm. And and now granted, you could be, like, a kingpin and have all of these relationships connected to all of the wrong things, but Mhmm.
Speaker 2:That's still your social capital. Yep. Your your connections. Who you know. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And so when it comes to a mentor relationship, when your mentee comes into your life, he not only is added into your social capital, but he also receives from your relationships. Mhmm. He's he already is receiving from your relationships because in a lot of respects, you become like those who are closest to you. And so those people in your in your network are already influencing them in some way. But then also, there there there's the benefit of you could introduce them to to someone in your network.
Speaker 2:So maybe they ask you a question you don't know the answer to, but I know Bob over here would be a great person to connect with, and here's why you should connect with him. Yeah. You can make that connection. And that's that's a huge benefit of a mentor relationship is setting your mentee up for those connections.
Speaker 3:Yeah. That's really good. That was really hard for me growing up to accept that it's about who you know because I remember my dad telling me that growing up, and I don't know if it's because I'm a, like, super introvert or, like, an Enneagram 8, and I wanna do it all by myself. But I was like, it doesn't have to be that way. I'm gonna make it through life all by myself.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna just be super, like, aggressive and, like, independent, figure out my own way. I don't need anybody, and that's really not one the way the Lord made us. He made us to be in community with others, and, like, he designed the church to serve one another, but also it's just not realistic. Like, there is truth to we we need other people to connect us to things to help us.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And and so that that could be, I mean, your church. It could be your coworkers. It could be your family. But the the benefits of social capital are are immense, and and we've already mentioned one of the benefits is is, like, career opportunities, jobs, like, finding finding a vocation.
Speaker 2:I mean, most people have a connection somewhere that leads to an opportunity. And so your your network could possibly be an opportunity either in in the investment and the things that influence the mentee or the practical introduction, the things that that lead them down a career path, which I think is is really fun. And, I mean, another benefit of that is just support. Mhmm. Like, when you think of a network, there's safety in numbers.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. And so if if a kid has one relationship with someone they trust, they have x amount of safety. If they have 2 people, I think they probably have more safety. And and so if you connect a child to a a network of supportive adults who want to see them succeed, I think the the likelihood of them feeling safe, understood, and having opportunities is that much greater. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so all of those benefits are great. But if you haven't been taught how to show up for an interview Mhmm. If you haven't taught how to build trust in relationships, if you haven't been shown a model relationships, if you haven't been shown a model for what long term relationship building looks like, all of this stuff is for naught. You'll never receive the benefits. And so those those are kind of the barriers.
Speaker 2:Barriers to relational activities are are are more of just ignorance Mhmm. Of of not being shown what it looks like to build this kind of relationship. Mhmm. What what other barriers are there?
Speaker 3:I think, again, just I don't know if etiquette is the right word for this, but in that situation where the kid was asking me for a job recommendation, there are kind of expectations in the work world, in the professional world, even just in social, like, interactions with people, there there are kind of these hidden rules of society. And it's kind of funny that we have to teach these because you you would think, surely, we know how to talk to each other. But you do have to teach these rules to kids or even just young professionals to to learn, okay, I'm going in for a job job interview. I wanna get the job, obviously, because who goes into a job interview that they don't wanna get the job? But they may not know all the tools for, making a good impression.
Speaker 3:They may have never had someone sit down and say, when you walk in the room, it is so important that you smile. It is so important that you shake the interviewer's hand, that you make eye contact, that you speak with complete sentences and yes, sir, no, ma'am, please, thank you. You know, without somebody actually teaching that that's important, you may go through life and miss opportunity after opportunity and have no idea why you're not making a good impression, or why you're missing out on things.
Speaker 2:Which this this part is tough, and and we've already kinda talked talked about this offline. It's that there are these hidden rules
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And professionalism. There is a there's a standard that someone has created, which it's predominantly like a majority culture construct Mhmm. That really it's just assumed everyone knows that this is what you have to do in order to fit in or to belong or to make it. Mhmm. And those those rules aren't written out very clearly Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Anywhere for a child or a kid from a hard place to look up. Maybe I mean, Google would be probably great. Mhmm. Like, how to prepare for an interview. I would imagine some kids, when they're pulling up to a job they're interview.
Speaker 2:I would imagine some kids when they're pulling up to a job, they're like, I'm coming here to work for you. Like Yeah. I'm helping you out. Yeah. And the business is like, we're
Speaker 3:giving you
Speaker 2:a job. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:We're helping
Speaker 2:you. Like, that's why we're paying you. We're helping you. And and that that construct of of seeing, okay, this business doesn't need me. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Like this business, I have to fight for telling them how much I'm worth, which is the same thing kids from hard places find in the school is a lot of kids from affluent backgrounds expect and believe that the teacher should focus on them because they're important or have a sense of, like, I'm trying to succeed, and and they don't feel any hesitancy to ask for help. A lot of studies show that kids kids from hard places don't feel that same ownership of their teacher that that that it's expected that the teacher would help them. Like, they they more believe, like, oh, I gotta I gotta do this on my own, and if the teacher gives me, like if the teacher pursues me, then that's great. That's helpful. But I don't assume that I can do the same.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. And I think that's the same in in this situation is that you end up doing a lot of things that no one's taught you how to do Yeah. And face consequences because of it. And it's hard. You need someone to teach you the the language, the hidden rules
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:To make it in this life.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I I remember even just hearing my sister, my I have a little sister, and when she started interviewing for jobs when she got a car, she got in a interviewing for jobs when she got a car, she got in a little bit of a disagreement with my dad because, actually, I think this was this was after she was applying for jobs coming out of college. And she did not want to she's just she's a truth teller, and she did not want to oversell herself. And she did not want to she's a truth teller, and she did not want to oversell herself in an interview. But that's kind of the culture and the expectation in job interviews is that you make yourself look so good.
Speaker 3:You don't really give any answers to any questions, even on the what's your greatest weakness, you spin it to make yourself look good. And, that's so not how my sister is. And so, she's just like, I don't understand why I need to lie about myself. I'm gonna tell them who I am, and I'm not gonna make myself look better than I really am. That's not truthful.
Speaker 3:And my dad was like, that's just the way it is. Like, that's just the way it is. I'm sorry. Like, you have to do that to get jobs. And my sister's like, but why?
Speaker 3:Why do we have to do that? And so, you know, that was kind of a moment where I was like, oh, that is not something that everybody realizes. It's like, that is a culture of job interviews in America is is that thing. And so that was a moment where, like, my dad literally had to tell my 22 year old sister that's the way it is. I'm like, that's just what you have to do when you go into a job interview.
Speaker 3:That's the culture. But, yeah, somebody had to teach that.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Yeah. I wonder I wonder if another barrier is is, like, the the fear of, like, putting your neck out for someone. So I I imagine the next time someone asked you for a job recommendation, you were a little more hesitant.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Absolutely. Well, yeah, because it may just it wasn't like the character of this person was bad, but there are, like, expectations to professionalism that I realized I should probably make sure I really recommend this person's work, not just their character because there is both of those are important.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:And I think sometimes, especially in Christian mentoring relationships, we're focusing so much on spiritual character that we can feel like teaching this kid how to be on time is not as important, but that is creating a barrier for them later on when they get poor prefer poor perform poor performance reviews. I cannot say that.
Speaker 2:Poorformance.
Speaker 3:Poorformance. Yeah. Reviews at work because they are consistently late. And how simple would it have been for a ment a mentor to, like, sit their mentee down one day while you're meeting and say, this is, like, a rule of life. It is important for you to be on time.
Speaker 2:Are you saying that being on time is a relational skill?
Speaker 3:I think it is because it is saying it is communicating value to the other person.
Speaker 2:It's really good. I mean, let's go into practicals then because I feel like that's super practical. Hey. Show up on time. It shows that you value other people and their time.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And that is that is definitely a cultural value within the US Mhmm. Showing up on time. That that may not be the case in Uganda.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:Like, where life doesn't roll on a clock Mhmm. Which I believe the history of time, like, being connected, like, all the time zones and stuff was, like, really like a a military deal, like, where the UK came up with all these time zones so that everyone could be synchronized and coordinated, and then it translated into the stock market and all all of these other things. So really understanding, like, the roots of where how we function in society come from are pretty interesting. Mhmm. So, like, the reason we're all about being on time is because someone wanted a bomb to go off at the right moment.
Speaker 3:Yikes.
Speaker 2:But still, there's nothing we can do about that now. Nope. My alarm clock is is gonna go off no matter what. Mhmm. I don't know why I said that.
Speaker 3:But regardless, yeah, you get you just have to kind of agree to play by the rules of your society in this regard.
Speaker 2:So how do you how do you practically teach your mentee the value of showing up on time?
Speaker 3:Well, I think just literally saying it, explaining why it's important, practicing it together. Like, if if, if you show up late to pick up your mentee to something, ask them how that made them feel. And then, you know, that's a great opportunity to talk about why time is important being on time. I think just looking at what are some other things we could be teaching, like practicals. Ever since I've been in a position at work where I have to evaluate other people on their work performance, I've started looking at the list of things that I'm evaluating people on and thinking, how can we even start teaching this to our boys when they're in elementary school, junior high, high school?
Speaker 3:Because simple things like general work habits of participating in a group discussion or making eye contact when someone's speaking to you. Those are those are things that are gonna help you have success across all areas of your life. It's gonna help you in friendships. It's gonna help you really get involved in church. It's gonna help you in work.
Speaker 3:And so there is, like, benefit to to looking at what are things that people would be evaluated on Mhmm. On if they're succeeding or not in an area. How can I teach that to my mentee now? Yeah. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:Yeah. It's really good. Which just brings us back to, like, mentors have to teach the basics. Mhmm. And don't assume anything when you're connecting with a kid.
Speaker 2:And so, like, the things you talked about, smiling, like, telling them why smiling is important, tell them why making eye contact is important. It's not just it's not just telling them once. Yep. Like, these things might be something that you talk about for months until they're ingrained habits that he's doing within your mentor relationship. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:If he's not doing it in your mentor relationship, he's probably not doing it outside of your
Speaker 3:Yeah. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:But if he's doing it in your mentor relationship, he's probably doing it somewhere else. Mhmm. So, another one, shaking hands. Mhmm. I feel like it's another very practical skill you can teach your mentee.
Speaker 2:Maybe even sharing your name, like, hi, my name is Steven. Yeah. What's your name? Think things like that can really help help kids understand knowing someone's name Mhmm. Which adults deal with that all the time.
Speaker 2:You meet new people and you can't remember people's names. Yep. Teaching a kid, hey, you can be the one that remembers someone's name, and that will encourage them so much when when you remember them. Mhmm. And and that that's a skill that will pay remember them.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. And and that that's a skill that will pay off in life so much because people love hearing their name Yeah. Probably more than any
Speaker 3:other word.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And when someone says your name wrong, it's like an it's such an offense.
Speaker 2:Every time I order a pizza, they always say Stephen.
Speaker 3:Wow. Yeah. That is not what I would
Speaker 2:Or I've gotten Stephen too.
Speaker 3:That's kinda fun. It's interesting.
Speaker 2:I don't know how you mispronounce Beth.
Speaker 3:I was gonna say I actually do have a story, but I don't know if it's, like, appropriate for the podcast. There was one Starbucks barista who called me meth and then goes, oh, that's probably not your name. I was like, and then he goes, I bet that happens all the time. And I was like, no, that has never happened before.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. Well, yeah. So just I mean, those little practical social skills to help them build relationships in that first introductory moment. And then there are other skills that I think are necessary to maintain and build relationships. So that could be writing thank you cards.
Speaker 2:That could be checking in on on people that you know. It could be sending happy birthday messages. It could be learning how to ask, hey, how are you doing? All of those natural natural things that help you stay connected. Because no one's social network is just kind of, like, set in stone.
Speaker 2:People that you don't connect with on a regular basis just drift out of Yeah. Connection. And so relationships are not something that just they exist and you always have it. Now maybe business connections can just be, oh, an email and and you're connected. But really, like, long term trusted relationships are always something that you're cultivating and and don't don't just, like, exist without effort Mhmm.
Speaker 2:If that makes sense. Yeah. And so teaching teaching them the skills that that you've utilized to maintain relationships, I think, are are something that you can make plain to the kids you're mentoring. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And I think something really good for mentors to think about teaching their kids, their mentees is, like, boundaries in relationships, even just boundaries. There's a lot we could talk about with that. But I'm specifically thinking of times when I was mentoring someone. I was mentoring college kids and they would just blow me off for us hanging out and they would text me later and say, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3:Like, I got busy with something. Can we meet tomorrow instead? And originally, I was always, like, it's so important for me to meet up with my mentee that I'd be a bad mentor if I don't say, yeah. I'll rearrange my schedule. Let's meet tomorrow.
Speaker 3:But over time, I decided it's better for me to teach them to be responsible for how their their actions impact our relationship. So I started changing my answer to, nope. I'll see you same time next week, like and still, like, love you. Still, what can I pray for you about this week? But teaching them that there is there are repercussions in relationships for for our actions.
Speaker 3:And so with teaching them to be on time, even, like, showing them the value of that with, like, older kids, this doesn't really apply to younger kids, but but teaching them boundaries in how to respect other people's time and respect the relationship that you have.
Speaker 2:It's really good. And I feel like there's a fear connected to correction. Mhmm. But, really, correction is what's going to solve the issue. And it's it's a symptom of just not having reps in relationships and knowing that that's a big deal.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And or or at least it's a big deal within the world we live in. If I didn't show up to work, I wouldn't have a job. If I showed up consistently late, I won't have a job. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:If I don't do what I was saying I'm gonna do, I won't have a job. Mhmm. And the same is true in friendships. Like, I wanna have friends. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think we can grow so accustomed to excuses Mhmm. That we figure out the system. Mhmm. Like that it's like we we're we're looking for ways to get out of something with the least amount of damage rather than looking to live in a way that honors and respects and challenges us to to live live full lives. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so I don't wanna live a life full of excuses for the places I've let people down Mhmm. And just kind of live in that place and just put up with it. But, like, I I want the skills and the accountability to live healthy relationally. And Yeah. I think kids want that.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. They don't want to be unhealthy in the way they approach relationships. They just haven't been taught.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. I even think of, like I can think of a kid right now in our program who is having a really hard time making friends because he unknowingly is just quite frankly doing things that annoys the other kids. And, like, even though it's really hard and maybe uncomfortable for a mentor or a coach to sit down and help this kid understand how his behavior is making it harder for him to gain relationships, that kid is probably, you know, 10 years in the future. If no one has ever done that, he's gonna be looking around and thinking, why did no one ever tell me that this is why nobody wants to talk to me?
Speaker 3:Like, why I had a mentor. I had my parents. I had my coaches. I had teachers. Why did no one ever tell me that this is what people think of me when I do this?
Speaker 3:And so I think it's like we have to, as mentors, always have the perspective of what is really loving and is refraining from teaching someone something that's gonna help them get ahead in life, whether it's in jobs or relationships, that is more loving than just ignoring the awkward and comfortable conversation of saying, like, hey. You were late again, and that's not okay. We need to learn how to be on time.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Yeah. A very practical thing you can do is connect your mentee to someone you know. That could be someone in your family, someone in your friend group. And and maybe you can think about what what does this person have that your mentee could learn?
Speaker 2:What what's the value of them knowing this person in your own social network? And maybe it's the same reason that you value them. I don't think we should view our relationships solely as commodities of, like, oh, wow. Your value in my life, Beth, is being on this podcast. And
Speaker 3:Yikes. I hope not.
Speaker 2:Well, at the same time, I think I think there's a way for us to put forward like, hey, there's a reason I value this relationship and it's because this person is trustworthy and also they've taught me this. Mhmm. And I would love them to teach you that. And and so the more you can make those connections and I think the value is is showing them that you've built relationships where you're trusted. And that you trust someone.
Speaker 2:And so even putting forward like, hey, this is a trusted friend. That in a way is a really beautiful way to show them the power of relationships. It may
Speaker 3:look rudimentary at
Speaker 2:first, but I think as your mentee gets older, they'll begin to identify who are their connections, what is their social capital. Mhmm. And and so those those little moments, I think are significant because you're showing them what a social network looks like.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I remember one time I was mentoring a girl who just was really struggling with the idea of putting role models on a pedestal and thinking they're so much holier than I am. They are just have so much more access to success than I do. And so I asked her to think of 1 person in real life, like, who lived in the city, who she idolized in a way, asked her to give me that name, and then we I set up a meeting with her and that person and just told her to come ready to ask her all the questions that she had of, what is it that you do? Because this was specifically about a relationship with Jesus, and so she came ready and she was like, okay.
Speaker 3:You wake up in the morning. What do you do? You are going to bed, what's the last thing you do before you go to sleep? What does, it look like when you're frustrated with God? What, like, she just came with all these questions, and I think we can sometimes just forget how much access we have to other people who could be answering questions for the kids that we ourselves may not have the answers to, and maybe they just need a different perspective.
Speaker 3:But how easy was it for me to just call up this woman that she idolized in a way and say, like, can you just talk to this girl for a minute and tell her like how she could be working towards this dream she has for herself that she sees in you and like we can do that with even work things like if your kid says that they are interested in there's a kid yesterday who told me he's interested in designing shoes I know nothing about designing shoes I'm pretty sure his mentor doesn't either but how cool would it be for his mentor to figure out somebody who knows something just a little bit more about
Speaker 2:design
Speaker 3:than he does and just be like, let's see what they have to say about about this, like and just set up a conversation with with them.
Speaker 2:I love what you're saying regarding building a social network isn't necessarily just even giving them relationships that you know, but maybe finding an interest that your mentee has in developing a new relationship based off of that in order to as an activity, like, okay. You're interested in this? You like the Mavs? Like, okay.
Speaker 3:Let's call Luca.
Speaker 2:Alright, Doncic. But, I mean, I think that that that's a really only only humble mentoring as connecting their mentee to other relationships Mhmm. And and not just focusing solely on the mentor bond. Mhmm. But I think what's counterintuitive is that the mentor is that the mentor is that the mentor is that the mentor is that the mentor is that the mentor is that the mentor is that the mentor is that the mentor is that the mentor bond.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. But I think what's counterintuitive is that you connecting them to other people is creating a stronger bond Totally. With your mentee.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. And you're still for so many of our kids, like, their single mom wants the world for them, does not have necessarily the time or the access to provide all the things that she wants for her kid. But maybe it's a simple thing of making a phone call and spending that hour you're gonna go see your kid anyway this 1 week to to go and tour a you know, like, if your kid wants to be a firefighter, calling up a place, figuring out a way if there's a way for you to go and just, like, tour a, fire department. Maybe something just a little more intentional that for a single mom might feel like that is I don't even have time.
Speaker 3:I don't have time for that. But maybe for a a mentor relationship where you're already putting that time out of your week to go and see your kid, could you make it a little bit more intentional of building a relationship for him and giving him access to a world that feels so far out of reach?
Speaker 2:How many adults as a child did you have to meet until you felt comfortable meeting adults?
Speaker 3:I don't know if I am there yet.
Speaker 2:Still awkward
Speaker 3:yeah for real yeah I don't I mean I grew up in the church so I was always being introduced to a bunch of rando older people And I don't know that it was ever enjoyable, but I will say that I learned how to talk to adults.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, I just think back to the reps of I would love to, by the end of my mentor relationship, say that I've introduced my mentee to 50 other people. Yep. That's good.
Speaker 2:And that before they go into that job interview, they've practiced what that looks like. I think that's even so honoring.
Speaker 3:Maybe your mentee won't realize it at this time, but, like, I've been a mentee. And whenever my mentor introduces me, there's, like, a sense of, like, of pride that wells up in me of, like, oh, they are calling me theirs, and they're introducing me to all their closest friends and the people that are most important to them. And so that tells me that I am most important to them, that they would want to share their world with me. So I just think also that's a really cool way to honor your mentee.
Speaker 2:It's awesome. Mentors, go do it. Relational activities, mentor relationships, we'll leave a list in the show notes. You can go do them. They are simple, practical, and, I mean, really, we're we're all about helping our mentees grow into healthy whole lives.
Speaker 2:And so if they get relational skills from your mentor relationship, they're gonna be better off. They're gonna be socially connected. They're gonna be supportive, and they're going to support others as well and become the one that is inviting others into their artwork. And so thank you for listening. We hope you enjoyed this episode.
Speaker 2:And next week, we are gonna talk about life skills. Life skills. So don't miss out. No jokes. No jokes next week.
Speaker 2:Good luck, man. All serious.