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Welcome to From My Father with Tangie Callahan.
Take your shoes off + stay awhile.
Grab a cup of coffee—or a matcha—and join Tangie for honest conversations about faith, life, healing, purpose + everything in between. Through real stories, real questions + biblical truth, you’ll discover the Father’s heart for every season.
Whether you’re navigating a difficult season, searching for answers, growing in your faith, or simply longing for more of God, this is a place where you can pull up a chair, be encouraged + be reminded that you’re not walking alone.
New episodes feature heartfelt conversations, practical wisdom, personal experiences + the timeless truth of God’s Word—all designed to point you back to the Father.
Real life. Real questions. The Father’s heart.
The conversations begin THIS AUGUST. 🤍
Welcome to From My Father Podcast.
I'm your host, Tangie Callahan, and I'm so grateful you're here.
My prayer is that every conversation points you to the heart of the Father, reminding you that every good and perfect gift comes from Him.
So whether you're driving, taking a walk, or taking some quiet time for yourself, I pray you leave every episode knowing Him more and experiencing His love in a deeper way.
Now take off your shoes and stay a while.
Let's get started.
Hi, guys, and welcome back to From My Father podcast.
I'm so excited today.
We've got some great people on here.
Would you welcome my three beautiful girls, Adelyn, Payten, and Ray-Ray.
Okay.
Oh, my goodness.
So good to have you guys.
You know, I like to start the podcast with asking one question and I want each of you to fire off.
All right.
OK, here's the question.
What is one burden that you have been carrying lately?
And what is one blessing that you have seen God do this week?
Who's starting?
Addie, I think you should start.
Okay.
I'll start with my burden.
I would say my burden is this is, like, my first time doing life on my own with my husband and budgeting and routine.
And so I guess my burden is just figuring things out and getting into routine and, like...
This is all new to me.
So just, I guess, braving the new and all of that.
That's my burden so far.
What's your blessing, Paddy?
I almost said Payten and I went Paddy.
My blessing is my husband.
How long have you been married now?
It'll be five months.
What's today's date?
I think it's the 4th.
Oh, my goodness.
It'll be five months and, like, a few days.
That's awesome.
So it's been wonderful, and it's the most fun I've ever had in my entire life.
So that's my blessing.
Addie's having a blast being a wifey.
She sure is.
I love it.
Payten, what about you?
For me, I am currently in the midst of like the thick of engagement season.
It kind of feels like I have three jobs right now.
I am doing social media for the church, which I absolutely love.
And I'm also doing photography, which is gotten pretty busy.
And then I feel like my third job is planning a wedding.
So that's crazy.
But the blessing of it is my fiance just moved here.
So that makes me feel so much better.
Eli is here finally.
I love him so much.
And we get married in 44 days today.
Oh my goodness.
So crazy.
Yes, I know you're ready.
I sure am.
Raylen.
Well, my burden is, and young moms, you will know what I'm talking about.
From our last episode, you know that I have two kids.
My first is, I mean, my first is almost, or he's two and a half, and then my second is almost one.
and so this week's burden is just you know disciplining and parenting i think we live in a society where there's a lot of noise and like we're on social media and we see all of these different methods on you know spanking or no spanking how do we discipline our kids gentle parenting versus you know other methods and so
Just figuring out, you know, what's going to work for me and my house and how we're going to go about things and my two-year-old test.
And I will chime in right there and say that it is different for every child.
So you have to find out what effectively, you know, works with Royce, what, you know, Callum may have a whole different.
spirit that you know what I mean yeah because Royce could not care less about any type of discipline and Callum gets his feelings hurt if I remotely tell him no so I think it will be different but anyway so that's my burden my blessing is that we just celebrated Callum and his one year birthday party sweet cowboy I can't believe it's already been a year but
We're excited.
That's awesome.
Well, I want to just get right into it.
Thank you guys, first of all, for being on here.
I know that this could be kind of vulnerable moments as we talk about this, but I do feel like it'll touch a lot of girls and women.
As you know, y'all know my story well, but in the last episode, I shared a little bit of my story, like...
The sexual molestation that happened several times, elementary school, high school, the eating disorder, the binging, how all of that began to affect me.
I feel like I had body dysmorphia where I looked at myself and no matter how thin I
I really was like, according to the scale, I could never, you know, I could never win.
Like I never see myself pretty enough.
And I, you know, I talked to Raylan about that last episode, but I wanted to bring you guys in to get your side.
You guys are very special to me.
And I know, I know there was a lot of things that I wasn't perfect in.
I will be the first to admit.
In fact, I failed in many ways as a mom.
But I feel like God can always use our story, and He always works things out for our good.
So first of all, let me take pressure off of women out there who feel like they do not have it together.
They are failing right now at everything motherhood.
And let me take pressure off of you that it's okay.
I learned through my failing.
And with each child, I think by the time I got to Payton, I might have been a half-decent mom.
Yeah.
But only by God's grace and lots of prayer.
So you learn as you go.
But I kind of want to just get right into the conversation.
This is a super honest conversation about body image and the pressures that are on this society for young girls all the way up to I'll be 51 this year, y'all.
stinking one.
Can you believe it?
Like, I used to think 50 year olds were like, hunched over, you know, really, really old, like had vibrato like this.
Anyway, that was done.
But like, you just look at like 50, 60, 70, you know, you just, I felt, I felt like 50 was so old and now I'm going to be 51.
And so anyway, yeah,
I want to, in all seriousness, just really dive in to this subject matter.
And I want to just ask you some honest questions.
With everything, and I know that I've got to take it, so don't hold back, okay?
But as a mom, I know that I carried a lot into my marriage.
And one of those things was negative body image.
It didn't matter if my hubby told me I was beautiful, that I looked gorgeous, I never believed it.
And so I wanna just first of all ask, growing up, what message do you think, because you lived with me, because you went to school,
through middle school at least all of you went through middle school then we kind of transitioned but what what kind of message did you get from sort of either your your childhood or maybe pressures in school um but from like from the world like what what did you take in do you remember from an early age like I don't know anything that you remember about body image
Okay, don't all talk at one time.
I mean, it's the clear and obvious answer is that, you know, you grow up feeling like whether it came from you or society or what the world was telling us that you had to look a certain way.
Even when it came down to your style and what you wore and like.
clothes that you wore but more than that just like the size you were I mean all you saw on television were skinny girls and yes all you saw people compliment like you weren't nobody was like you're only getting complimented if you were skinny or you know that always seemed like the feature that was like highlighted the most and so you grow up thinking that
in school, at home, whatever, that you have to look a certain type of way.
And I think that that can, obviously you were going through your own stuff and you were still in the middle of your healing as we were in our childhood years, which becoming a mom, I've had, you know, a fresh revelation of grace for that because I'm like, how am I supposed to raise kids when I'm still, still, you know,
Processing my own life and healing in my own ways.
And so anyway, I have grace for moms and I see it in a new perspective now.
But I think that on top of what we're hearing at school and society and what we're watching on TV, when you're going through those things as well, I think it just all bleeds together of like.
You were healing while trying to help us navigate those things, but probably some things that you would say to us or, you know, direct us on were coming from a place of, like, you wanted to help us, but it could have come across as, you know, this is the standard, you know, this is what you should look like, or this is, you know, like, even you just wanting us to be healthy and take care of our bodies.
Since we were already going through that, we could have translated that as, well, even my mom wants me to look a certain type of way.
Right.
Even though that might not have been your heart and saying certain things to us.
So or even like the way you would talk about yourself, which was a big thing from I remember like noticing that like you like when you looked in the mirror, the way you talked about yourself, I think made me like, OK, so how do I look at myself?
But I also remember there being an episode of Full House.
When DJ... My show.
And we watched that show a lot.
We watched that show all the time.
When DJ was struggling with fitting into a bathing suit or something for Kimmy's birthday party.
And she was starving herself in the show.
And in my head, I'm like, wait...
She's skinny.
She's really skinny.
So in my head, I was thinking like she's thinking that about herself.
And I'm like looking at myself and I'm like, man, if she's doing that and she's already that skinny, what do I need to do?
Oh, yeah.
And so then like but those are just like TV shows and you don't realize how much like they're affecting you.
They affect you.
Yeah.
And stuff.
And just even as a kid, those thoughts that come in your mind from that, you don't realize how much they shape.
So true.
Yeah.
And like even when you were saying those things about yourself, even though that doesn't directly affect us, maybe that would turn into the way we think about ourselves and like us feeling like we need to.
Well, if mom doesn't feel skinny and she's super skinny right now, like then what do you know?
Just the way that it all.
Oh, my goodness.
When you just said that.
Yeah.
It made me feel so good because I did not ever think I was skinny.
No, I'm serious.
Like, that's how much in my mind it's so, like— It takes over.
You know when you take a piece of board off of a deck, like real wood, and it stays in the rain for long enough, it begins to warp?
I feel like my brain is so warped with—
when was I ever skinny like I even I'm you know I'm still trying to figure out do I look good do I you know and so even when you said that right then it's like man that's how warped or like kind of just made it seem like you aren't beautiful or you can't feel that you're best if you aren't a certain size or a certain weight when all actuality like you fluctuate in life like
I remember like seasons of my life where I was super fit and playing basketball and in sports and then I'd go through seasons where I wasn't and then like going back into a season where I had lost a bunch of weight before my wedding and literally throughout all three of those stages still having like
I felt the same in my mind throughout all of them, regardless of what I looked like, because it was never about what I looked like.
It was about there's actually something deeply rooted in me that needs to be healed.
Wow.
Yeah.
Like I need to know that no matter what from the Lord, like that I am beautiful and it's not based on a size or a number or anything.
Yeah, that's really good.
And even when you do get to that imaginary weight that you're like, that'll be it.
You still aren't.
You get there and you're like, no, this part of me needs help.
Yeah, it's never enough.
And that's the part in you that has to be healed.
I know for me, I feel like I have like a little bit of a different take on because I'm the youngest, first of all.
And like growing up, I was kind of.
We have different body types.
Payten's righteous.
Payten's always been as skinny as a little straw.
Payten.
Her little long legs, her tiny little waist.
I'm glad y'all are saying this because this is like, but I've gotten over jealousy.
No, no, no, no, no.
This is like going to explain what I'm about to say.
So for me, I've always been the pedestal body type.
So like for you, like sometimes you would say, man, I wish my stomach was as flat as yours.
And it was like, OK, where's the lie?
And so in my brain, I'm like, oh, my goodness.
If I don't want to gain weight, I never want to look different because then they'll never be able to look at me as what they want to become.
That's a whole different perspective.
I've never thought, nobody want to be me.
There'll be certain times where I'll be like, guys, I just feel huge today.
And everyone's like...
you cannot say that because you do not look huge or ever I need to get in the gym and we're like you have natural muscle what would you do in the gym but there was like a different type of pressure for me being scared to change because if I change then wow pay
No, I didn't know that.
Because like if I change then.
Like that had become a part of like your self-esteem and like people thinking that and you began to get your worth from that.
Man, I hope if like when I wear this swimsuit today, I hope mom sees me and still thinks I look skinny so she can.
You thought that?
But it's because it's not about the weight.
That doesn't mean it's your fault.
You were complimenting me.
But you were still hurting and you had places of insecurity.
So you were taking a simple compliment and making it your identity in that area.
And I think that also... Well, it felt like pressure to not...
pressure to stay to stay the same so yeah that's that's a whole nother perspective which is that's how you know it's not about the way or what it's all about it's all about the insecurity and even like um i'll say this because i'm in engagement season i'm about to enter a season where there's like complete vulnerability like with your physical body like i've had to like train my mind like
okay like when I marry Elijah he's going to love me no matter what I look like whether because I've seen like everyone here like y'all's body your body has changed like through pregnancy you still look amazing obviously your body has changed through menopause but in my brain I'm like girl you just don't know and your body will change when you get pregnant yes I know so like I've had to walk through the Lord like reminding myself that he's not his love isn't based on what I look like
And like that the physical appearance isn't everything.
It's not the world.
It's I think even through pregnancy and postpartum, like the biggest thing is like I carried two healthy babies and I came out on the other side healthy.
And so like the perspective change has to be like as I'm still in the process and still healing, like I want to feel my best, you know, eat the foods that fuel my body.
But also like it's not about fitting back into my body.
pre-pregnancy clothes or it's not about like, like I just completely got rid of those clothes because I don't want that to be like the benchmark.
Like I want whatever the Lord has for my body in this season, no matter what that looks like.
And like retraining my mind, like it doesn't have to look like it once did because I truly don't think my body will ever look like it once did, but it's what does the Lord have for me in this season?
And retraining that it's not about the physical appearance.
It's about how you're feeling and still treating your body as a temple and filling it with the right foods and the right, you know, things to sustain my body and be the best mom I can be.
But it's not about the look.
So let me ask you this.
Do you ever remember, do you remember the very first time that you actually were aware of your body?
Like and how young you were?
Like, of, like, what I looked like.
Yeah, just that you were aware, like...
I know for me, it was probably, like, eight or nine.
Mine was probably maybe even younger than that.
But I don't remember the first time.
I just remember, like, us going on runs or bike rides around the neighborhood and thinking, like, I have to do this to get skinnier.
Like, it just did my head.
But I don't remember, like, the first time thinking that.
Like, I just feel like it was, like, ingrained.
Yeah.
Like, from just an early childhood of, like,
Like this is what, you know, it's just like when you put on clothes, like how does this look?
You know, just like it was just a part of me.
But I think that's like a tell to kind of show that it's not just like what you said or like I think it's generational and through the bloodline and more spiritual because it required healing and requires all that.
I think it's more than just the outward, what you would say and what you would do and our actions and stuff.
I think it's like a genuine spiritual thing that has been passed through our bloodline that has to break from generation to generation.
And so...
Well, also, like, what I was thinking about, too, was that, like, we have an amazing dad, and we love him, but he didn't really know how to express his feelings in, like, in the best way.
He's not words of affirmation.
He's not words of affirmation, and so...
Like we knew that he thought we were beautiful but like hearing I think hearing that from him more not that we would have completely been changed you know the trajectory of you know that whole thing but like just now like I only have two boys right now but like as whenever I do or if I do have a girl.
You are.
hopefully I think it's so important for dads to like really like be their daughter's first love and like tell them how beautiful they are I agree like no matter what like any size shape or form like them knowing from their dads you know because identity from my father like it comes from your dad and so as much as you know what you said and how you lived shaped us like I feel like it's also both parents
Yeah, and sometimes the... Like, he never really said anything, but sometimes the absence of the words left blank spaces for us to fill ourselves and for society to fill.
And it was probably not on his mind at all.
At all.
Like, he didn't care either way, but it was just the lack of... Well, and it shows how our own perspective and our own brain works.
Writes our story.
Yeah, because...
You know, Addie and I had a conversation yesterday and we were talking about how those cycles, like it doesn't matter what the person says.
But if you've trained your mind to automatically fill in, you know what I mean, the gaps or whatever, like that's what you go to every time.
It doesn't matter.
Like you might not hear the compliments.
you hear oh well you've never said that before instead of really thanking the person for the compliment you're receiving it from a hurt lens yeah that's it yeah like you're not you're receiving it how you want to receive it and the other person could really have a genuine heart behind it but you're receiving it like well she's only saying that to me today because I look a certain type of way but really that wasn't your heart behind saying something
Yeah.
What do you feel like are lies that you guys have actually had to fight personally?
And you don't have to say all of them, but like if you could be vulnerable and just share like some personal things or it could be one thing that you've it's you know, it's a lie, but you've been able to overcome it.
I feel like for me – Or you could be processing it still.
I'm still processing it.
I'm still healing.
Me too, girl.
But I think it's – Always will be.
I think you will your whole life because what I'm saying is the category that all of the lies I feel like I've believed –
fall under just the main one of like you are not enough so like you don't look good enough you don't sing good enough you don't do this good enough you're you're failing in this area all this stuff just falls under this big you are not enough category for me
And I think I felt that growing up, especially because I felt like I was the middle child between the girls.
And so I felt like, you know, sometimes I would get lost in the mix.
I felt like I had to work overtime to try to prove myself or try to gain some, you know, for y'all to see me or for y'all to care.
And it wasn't all the time y'all.
It just is how I felt.
Right.
And so for me, like overcoming that you are not enough thing is just,
replacing those lies and taking out those thoughts with like the identity the Lord has given me.
And when I know that he sees me and that he knows me, he loves me, he cares for me.
I didn't have to do anything for him to do that.
And for him to want to do that.
And it doesn't matter what I look like.
It doesn't matter all those things.
But he formed me the way he wanted me to be.
And so as I'm recognizing like those things, I think it just takes the discipline of casually filling in those lies and catching them when they come and those things and not letting them be twisted and just allow the truth to come in and bring light to those things.
That's so good.
But I'm definitely not.
Yeah, it's a process.
No, it's a process.
I'm 51, and I still struggle with some of those questions.
And it doesn't matter how much your husband looks at you and goes, you look beautiful today.
But you still have to fight those thoughts.
And even for women out there, that maybe they don't have a husband that says you look beautiful.
Maybe they're struggling.
i want to transition a little bit and just talk about you know what have you learned that the father has said about you like i want to i want to spend a little bit of time on this because so many women feel like where you're at like where we're all processing right but then they never know what the father says what has been one of your scriptures and i know that i'm like throwing you on the spot but
I don't know, like what is something that really has stood out for you in the past that is setting you free in the Word?
I mean, I can go if I just don't want to keep talking.
I'll be quick.
But mine is kind of, even just in the past year, I've gone back to Psalm 139, which is like the most cliche, what everyone chooses, you know, you're fearfully and wonderfully made.
I have that down.
I was going to talk about that.
But if you read that whole chapter, it's,
It leads up.
There's a lead up to that point where he says you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
And the lead up is I know you.
I know you're coming.
I know you're going.
I know where you've been.
I know the inward parts of your heart.
I know the things that nobody else knows.
He's going down this long list.
And it's like God saying that he knows every single part about you.
It's like and then it says like even still.
you were fearfully and wonderfully made and so so it's like him knowing you it's like and still because it's easy to say you're fearfully and wonderfully made when someone's looking at you from the outside but him knowing your inward parts and things you don't want anyone to know and the hidden places and the shame that you feel in these areas and this and the not enough not being enough and it's like he he sees all of that and still he's so good at you are fearfully and wonderfully
made girl oh that could preach so hard and so that has really helped me a lot because I know he cares and he sees all that and he's yes he's still saying that about me well I was literally gonna say the same exact I have the exact same but what would be your perspective from that
Um, it kind of goes back to what I was saying earlier about like that fear.
Because for me, I think it was more so deep fear of not being loved.
And so yes, that was mine.
Was it?
Mine wasn't like you are not enough.
Mine was like, I need to do all of these things to be loved.
Yes.
So it was performance.
Yes, it was performance.
I feel like it was a spirit of performance.
Which, in all reality, that's how we view the Father.
And so, like, I had to remind myself of the Father's character, that He loves me.
Like Adi was saying, He knows me.
He knows everything about me, and He still says I'm fearfully and wonderfully made.
That's so good.
And you always taught us to speak Scripture over ourselves.
So I'll even still catch myself, like, if I'm in moments of insecurity, and I'll be like, no, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made.
Like, the Father knows everything about me.
wonderfully made yeah and on the love piece like i remember when i first left to go to ministry school like that was my thing was like i didn't know the love of god without like it was always connected to what i could do for him yep and like doing things in ministry and doing things that i felt like he approved of like is how i received his love
And so I remember always quoting the first John three one.
The father has lavished great love on us, calling us children of God.
And then Romans eight thirty eight.
Nothing can separate you from the love of God.
Yes.
So it's like nothing I can do or not do will separate me from his love.
And like letting that be what reframes like I don't do ministry because I'm trying to earn his love.
I do ministry because I'm in love with him.
And he has already approved of me and is using me to do all of these things.
But it's not from a place of like striving to receive his love.
I can do all of these things because I am loved.
And I can flow in love and do ministry because he loves.
That is so powerful.
And something even recently that's been...
Especially in this season, especially through engagement and all this stuff, it's really been getting me through when Jesus just spent 30 years like not doing ministry.
He's living like behind the scenes, basically.
And then he lets John the Baptist baptize him.
And before Jesus does any type of ministry, he says, this is my beloved in whom I'm well pleased.
Yeah, my beloved son.
So basically saying before we do the ministry, before we sing, we're all singers, before we preach whatever it is, He calls us His beloved before we do anything for Him.
Before your mama, you're doing the mama jobs, all the things, the wife jobs, the husband jobs.
Like before any of all of the, I guess how we would say, not perform, but how we live out our life.
Right.
there there is a mental understanding or you might be in the process of it but there's a mental understanding that God loves me without their performance yeah like you know what I mean on theme with this episode like before I look a certain type of way or before you know back to body image like I don't have to do all these things and look a certain type of way before he's
pleased with me right and like changing that of like no i am loved by him regardless that is what i look like or you know regardless of the beauty standards regardless of because culture is going to be culture you know but we're called to be set apart and we don't live by that and our identity is found in him and so he has to completely reshape all of that
I really want to just stop right there because I think I'm going to make this.
I think I want to keep you guys for another episode.
And the next episode, I really want to talk about what we can do as women and moms to change like this generation, the way they think and the way, you know, about body image.
So thank you guys for tuning in today.
Thank you.
Thank you guys for being here.
I'm so excited.
Oh, yeah.
Forgot.
We always want to end with a listener question.
And today, our listener question is... There's a couple, so I'm trying to figure out... Let's go with... How...
No, I don't want to do that one.
What scripture is helping you the most right now in this season?
I can go.
I think this is in Psalm 119, too.
Not T-W-O, but T-O-O.
I can't remember what exact verse, but it's so, so simple, but it just says, it literally just says, trust his word.
And for me, like I've had to ask myself the question, okay, am I just reading this or am I truly trusting what this word says?
Like take Psalm 23, for example, the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not fear him.
let's not want yeah yeah all that stuff and i'm like do i actually believe this or am i just reading it and i've had to like engrave it into my brain that this his word is actually true and do i believe it to actually be it's really good addy what about you
Mine isn't a scripture, but it's a parable that Jesus tells us in the New Testament.
And it's the 10 lepers and he heals them.
And he's well, he says, go to the priest and you'll be healed.
And he sends them off to the priest and all 10 of them get healed.
But only one returns and says, thank you.
And so for me right now, I feel like I'm living in the promise of something Jesus gave me.
And that's being with Caleb, being with my husband.
And so for me, it's important to remember, like, don't just go off and live in the promise and forget Jesus, but to come back and be the one that says thank you and to love the giver more than the gift.
So good.
What about you, Rae?
Mine is the classic Galatians 6-9.
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Don't give up.
Sometimes I should say, please do not faint.
So just staying the course and being excellent in all things and not growing weary or tired.
You're doing great.
And you are.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you guys so much for tuning in today.
Thank you all for being here.
And I can't wait.
We're going to continue this conversation.
Until next time, friends, may His voice be the loudest one you hear.
We'll see you next time.
Bye.
Thanks for joining me for today's episode of From My Father.
I encourage you to every day ask the Father, what is it that you want me to receive from you today?
If you enjoyed today's conversation, I'd love for you to subscribe, leave a review and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.
Remember, every good and perfect gift comes from our Father.
That's all for today, friends.
Until next time, keep leaning in to the Father's voice.