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Let’s break the rules here. The first 5 of these Podcasts get right into practical help. Only after that I get around the long boring, but important stuff on what Anxiety is and does to your body. If you are suffering from anxiety-YOU DAMN WELL KNOW WHAT IT IS!
Let’s fix it!
I created this series as a reaction to all the pop-psychology and pseudo-science advice on the Internet. Patients mentioning these posts make me tired and grouchy.
I am a noted and accomplished clinical psychologist, a scientist and a clinician. These podcasts cut through those weeds of bad advice and give you very usable, practical approaches to calm your ANXIETY. If you want to quickly calm your stress and anxiety, listen in.
The techniques and approaches here are solidly based on the best practices and research in mental health and on the analysis of 6200 successful cases of coping with anxiety. Each episode gives doable techniques to help you NOW! These easy-to-listen podcasts are reassuringly life changing!
00;00;00;23 - 00;00;02;13
Dr. John Mayer
Anxiety's a bitch.
00;00;02;16 - 00;00;03;22
Dr. John Mayer
Episode five.
00;00;03;24 - 00;00;05;06
Dr. John Mayer
Sleep.
00;00;05;08 - 00;00;09;23
Dr. John Mayer
High again. I fooled you. I was going to discuss some.
00;00;09;23 - 00;00;11;27
Dr. John Mayer
Sciencey stuff in this podcast.
00;00;12;00 - 00;00;13;26
Dr. John Mayer
But so many people come to.
00;00;13;26 - 00;00;19;22
Dr. John Mayer
Me with sleep problems. Let's talk about this now. And that's a great tip for book publishers.
00;00;19;22 - 00;00;22;08
Dr. John Mayer
Even journalists. When you write about.
00;00;22;08 - 00;00;23;24
Dr. John Mayer
Solutions for people.
00;00;23;27 - 00;00;26;18
Dr. John Mayer
Get right to the help, then put all that filler.
00;00;26;19 - 00;00;30;02
Dr. John Mayer
You always start with last.
00;00;30;05 - 00;00;33;15
Dr. John Mayer
When you read my description of this podcast, I hope you took note of all.
00;00;33;15 - 00;00;37;15
Dr. John Mayer
The research and experience that has gone into each of these episodes.
00;00;37;18 - 00;00;41;05
Dr. John Mayer
I am proud to call out two neuroscientists.
00;00;41;05 - 00;00;46;28
Dr. John Mayer
Whose research supports the techniques I've been using for years. These are Doctor.
00;00;46;28 - 00;00;50;04
Dr. John Mayer
Rosalind Cartwright, sometimes called the grandmother.
00;00;50;04 - 00;00;53;12
Dr. John Mayer
Of sleep studies, or the Queen of sleep.
00;00;53;14 - 00;00;54;13
Dr. John Mayer
And Doctor Matthew.
00;00;54;13 - 00;00;57;01
Dr. John Mayer
Walker, a professor at the University of.
00;00;57;01 - 00;00;57;25
Dr. John Mayer
California at.
00;00;57;25 - 00;01;01;17
Dr. John Mayer
Berkeley whose book Why We Sleep.
00;01;01;20 - 00;01;08;28
Dr. John Mayer
Is an excellent reference. Check it out and let's get started. One of the reasons I decided to jump ahead and put.
00;01;08;28 - 00;01;11;15
Dr. John Mayer
This episode on the schedule right away.
00;01;11;17 - 00;01;13;00
Dr. John Mayer
Is the fact that the number.
00;01;13;00 - 00;01;17;15
Dr. John Mayer
Of people having sleep problems ranges anywhere from 32%.
00;01;17;21 - 00;01;26;13
Dr. John Mayer
To upwards of 40%, depending on the age and where you live. And it is estimated that only 15.
00;01;26;13 - 00;01;32;23
Dr. John Mayer
Percent of teenagers get the amount of sleep they really need. Further disrupted sleep.
00;01;32;26 - 00;01;38;29
Dr. John Mayer
Is so often a side effect of anxiety. Okay, okay, I know I promised from the start not to.
00;01;38;29 - 00;01;41;13
Dr. John Mayer
Bore you with statistics, but here it.
00;01;41;13 - 00;01;42;29
Dr. John Mayer
Is valuable to know that if.
00;01;42;29 - 00;02;02;14
Dr. John Mayer
You're having trouble sleeping, you're not alone. As Doctor Walker points out in detail in his book, Sleep is Vital to Health. He calls it one of the three pillars of having a healthy body, along with diet and exercise. But we suck at sleep.
00;02;02;16 - 00;02;12;29
Dr. John Mayer
And you want to know why? It's your mom and dad's fault. Yep. They never taught you how to sleep. Of course, their mom and dad didn't tell them either. So they aren't.
00;02;12;29 - 00;02;16;21
Dr. John Mayer
Completely to blame here. The simple truth here.
00;02;16;21 - 00;02;17;26
Dr. John Mayer
Is that nobody.
00;02;17;26 - 00;02;20;24
Dr. John Mayer
Ever teaches us how to sleep. They just assume.
00;02;20;24 - 00;02;23;04
Dr. John Mayer
It comes natural.
00;02;23;06 - 00;02;25;20
Dr. John Mayer
The average person should be getting seven.
00;02;25;20 - 00;02;26;14
Dr. John Mayer
To nine hours.
00;02;26;14 - 00;02;27;00
Dr. John Mayer
Of sleep per.
00;02;27;00 - 00;02;28;09
Dr. John Mayer
Night. Boom.
00;02;28;11 - 00;02;31;28
Dr. John Mayer
That's it. Nuff said. All right.
00;02;32;00 - 00;02;33;22
Dr. John Mayer
Now, Mommy and daddy didn't know how.
00;02;33;25 - 00;02;36;10
Dr. John Mayer
To do it. So somebody has to do it.
00;02;36;12 - 00;02;38;17
Dr. John Mayer
So let me be the one to teach you.
00;02;38;17 - 00;02;39;20
Dr. John Mayer
How to sleep.
00;02;39;23 - 00;02;43;12
Dr. John Mayer
And by the way, what I'm going to show you works for nightmares.
00;02;43;12 - 00;02;52;16
Dr. John Mayer
And sleep terrors as well. Actually, excellently. Preparation for sleep starts hours before your head hits the pillow.
00;02;52;18 - 00;02;54;08
Dr. John Mayer
And even with long term.
00;02;54;08 - 00;02;56;17
Dr. John Mayer
Lifestyle changes.
00;02;56;19 - 00;02;56;26
Dr. John Mayer
I'm.
00;02;56;26 - 00;03;00;06
Dr. John Mayer
Calling these your sleep prep.
00;03;00;09 - 00;03;03;03
Dr. John Mayer
That's part one of getting great sleep.
00;03;03;05 - 00;03;04;09
Dr. John Mayer
Part two.
00;03;04;11 - 00;03;04;23
Dr. John Mayer
Are some.
00;03;04;23 - 00;03;14;08
Dr. John Mayer
Amazing techniques that take place when your head hits the pillow. Let's talk about sleep prep like a checklist and go through it fast.
00;03;14;11 - 00;03;15;28
Dr. John Mayer
Much of this you know already.
00;03;16;00 - 00;03;29;12
Dr. John Mayer
But bear with me. Here's my sleep prep inventory. Sleep prep one hours before you want to sleep, stop with any caffeinated beverages and foods.
00;03;29;15 - 00;03;30;15
Dr. John Mayer
I'm not going to treat you.
00;03;30;15 - 00;03;40;02
Dr. John Mayer
Like children here, and go through a list of things you ingest that have caffeine, but read labels and be scrupulous. Now here's a revelation.
00;03;40;05 - 00;03;56;21
Dr. John Mayer
Caffeine has what we call a chemical half life of 5 to 6 hours and a quarter life of 10 to 12 hours. That means that half the effects of this chemical caffeine, are still active in your body, 5 to 6 hours after.
00;03;56;21 - 00;03;58;16
Dr. John Mayer
You've consumed it.
00;03;58;19 - 00;03;59;02
Dr. John Mayer
And a.
00;03;59;02 - 00;04;06;00
Dr. John Mayer
Quarter of the effects 10 to 12 hours after you have last consumed it. So just calculate.
00;04;06;04 - 00;04;10;19
Dr. John Mayer
When you would have to stop putting caffeine in your system, not to have.
00;04;10;19 - 00;04;39;17
Dr. John Mayer
It affect your sleep. By the way, energy drinks are loaded with caffeine, as are some sweet treats, even ice creams. Also note some people bring, oh, I can drink caffeine right up until bedtime and it doesn't bother me. Sure, you may get to sleep, but guess what, smarty pants? Caffeine disrupts REM sleep. Our deepest and most rejuvenating sleep.
00;04;39;20 - 00;04;55;19
Dr. John Mayer
I alcohol. Some of us think a good snort is a great way to get to sleep. But here's the facts. When you do this, alcohol gives you a sedating effect that puts you in the lightest stage of sleep. And two effects occur.
00;04;55;22 - 00;05;06;27
Dr. John Mayer
Yep. Again, you don't go into REM sleep. And secondly, you tend to wake up after a short time, only to have trouble not getting back to sleep.
00;05;07;00 - 00;05;11;14
Dr. John Mayer
Sleep prep two. Exercise daily.
00;05;11;16 - 00;05;12;09
Dr. John Mayer
Your body has to.
00;05;12;09 - 00;05;17;23
Dr. John Mayer
Be tired to go to sleep. Now you need to experiment here.
00;05;17;25 - 00;05;27;07
Dr. John Mayer
If you like to exercise late at night, or if that is the only time you can can exercise, better to do it late than not at all.
00;05;27;09 - 00;05;35;08
Dr. John Mayer
But for some people, post exercise can be so relaxing that it helps you to sleep. For others, it can have.
00;05;35;08 - 00;05;37;08
Dr. John Mayer
You so jacked up you can't.
00;05;37;08 - 00;05;40;10
Dr. John Mayer
Get to sleep. The key here is to be careful.
00;05;40;10 - 00;05;44;12
Dr. John Mayer
To make sure you drop your body temperature and relax.
00;05;44;12 - 00;06;09;04
Dr. John Mayer
Before you hit the bed. This will calm your endorphins down and prepare you for sleep. You're the boss here. Here's the facts. People who exercise regularly sleep better. So, as Nike would say, just do it. Sleep prep. Number three check all your medications.
00;06;09;07 - 00;06;12;27
Dr. John Mayer
Make sure that the one side effect is not.
00;06;13;02 - 00;06;27;02
Dr. John Mayer
That it affects your sleep. If it is, please contact your primary care physician immediately. This may erase everything else that applies here. Sleep prep.
00;06;27;02 - 00;06;28;28
Dr. John Mayer
Number four.
00;06;29;00 - 00;06;32;23
Dr. John Mayer
The time you sleep is critical. Ideal sleep happens.
00;06;32;23 - 00;06;37;18
Dr. John Mayer
When it becomes dark outside. Further, a dark bedroom.
00;06;37;21 - 00;06;40;18
Dr. John Mayer
Is conducive to better sleep.
00;06;40;21 - 00;06;47;16
Dr. John Mayer
Just shag all the scary monsters away from under your bed and closet. You'll be okay without a nightlight.
00;06;47;18 - 00;06;48;20
Dr. John Mayer
Seriously.
00;06;48;22 - 00;06;57;21
Dr. John Mayer
We are darkness star. Melatonin. That supplement everybody is talking about is actually a naturally occurring hormone.
00;06;57;23 - 00;06;59;06
Dr. John Mayer
That is excreted.
00;06;59;09 - 00;07;03;19
Dr. John Mayer
When it becomes dark outside. It begins the body's own.
00;07;03;19 - 00;07;07;05
Dr. John Mayer
Preparation for sleep. So be careful about taking.
00;07;07;05 - 00;07;09;21
Dr. John Mayer
Melatonin as a supplement.
00;07;09;23 - 00;07;13;20
Dr. John Mayer
Point 5 to 3mg is plenty.
00;07;13;22 - 00;07;16;22
Dr. John Mayer
Any more than that is not only a waste.
00;07;16;24 - 00;07;19;15
Dr. John Mayer
But can also be harmful.
00;07;19;18 - 00;07;21;08
Dr. John Mayer
A regular time to go to bed and to.
00;07;21;08 - 00;07;22;16
Dr. John Mayer
Wake up is also.
00;07;22;16 - 00;07;26;06
Dr. John Mayer
Extremely important. Try to make approximately.
00;07;26;06 - 00;07;37;07
Dr. John Mayer
The same times every day, even on weekends. Sleep is a rhythm and a habit. It is called your circadian rhythm. By the way, some people.
00;07;37;07 - 00;07;39;09
Dr. John Mayer
Are a night owls and others are.
00;07;39;09 - 00;07;49;17
Dr. John Mayer
Morning persons and that's okay. Surrender to that sleep prep number five. No naps for people that are struggling with their sleep.
00;07;49;18 - 00;07;51;13
Dr. John Mayer
Naps are a nightmare.
00;07;51;15 - 00;08;16;04
Dr. John Mayer
It's a great plan to disrupt your circadian rhythm and will deregulate your sleep and wake times. Fight naps in the day. Sleep prep number six. Bed is for only sleeping and intimacy. Nuff said. Sleep prep number seven. Keep your bed clean.
00;08;16;06 - 00;08;27;22
Dr. John Mayer
Fresh your room comfortable at all times. Your mattress sucks. There's mattress stores on every corner and don't cheap out on your comfort. One third of.
00;08;27;22 - 00;08;28;07
Dr. John Mayer
Your life.
00;08;28;07 - 00;08;44;13
Dr. John Mayer
Is going to be laying on that mattress. And keep your whole bedroom neat, clean and in order. Like I said in the previous episodes, an orderly and clean environment is so strongly comforting. And guess what? A cold bedroom.
00;08;44;13 - 00;08;46;06
Dr. John Mayer
Helps. Good sleep.
00;08;46;08 - 00;08;47;16
Dr. John Mayer
Control the temperature.
00;08;47;16 - 00;08;53;28
Dr. John Mayer
Of your bedroom at all costs. A good target temperature is 67 degrees.
00;08;54;00 - 00;09;10;26
Dr. John Mayer
Speaking of comfort and temperature, ditch the sweatpants that you've been running around in all day. Change into fresh bed clothes or sleep naked. Humidify the lack of humidity as many effects on your body that can disrupt sleep.
00;09;10;28 - 00;09;16;02
Dr. John Mayer
Trouble breathing, itchy skin tossing and turning to name a few.
00;09;16;05 - 00;09;27;01
Dr. John Mayer
Make sure your bedroom is not too dry. Some people swear by and not at white noise machines. They drown out the background noises that.
00;09;27;01 - 00;09;28;21
Dr. John Mayer
May disrupt your sleep.
00;09;28;23 - 00;09;31;12
Dr. John Mayer
Again, experiment here and try out one of.
00;09;31;12 - 00;09;40;11
Dr. John Mayer
These if noises are keeping you up. Sleep prep number eight. Now we're getting closer to bed. Night time tips.
00;09;40;13 - 00;09;42;13
Dr. John Mayer
So create a bedtime ritual.
00;09;42;15 - 00;09;43;23
Dr. John Mayer
Turn off screens.
00;09;43;26 - 00;09;46;16
Dr. John Mayer
Stimulating music. Conflictual phone.
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Dr. John Mayer
Conversations. Anything that is stimulating. If you like to read before you go to sleep, great.
00;09;53;00 - 00;09;57;11
Dr. John Mayer
But make sure is reading material that doesn't upset you or you have to think.
00;09;57;11 - 00;10;13;00
Dr. John Mayer
About too deeply. Try some good escapist fiction. Brush your teeth. Get out of your day clothes. And now sleep prep. Number nine. Take a very warm bath. Lavender bath is ideal.
00;10;13;02 - 00;10;14;26
Dr. John Mayer
Soak and relax.
00;10;14;29 - 00;10;26;05
Dr. John Mayer
A warm soak has been proven to help sleep immensely. This is one of my biggest sleep prep tips because it works so well. A warm to a hot.
00;10;26;05 - 00;10;33;02
Dr. John Mayer
Bath relaxes muscles and has tranquilizing biochemical effects. Make sure you dry off.
00;10;33;02 - 00;10;40;20
Dr. John Mayer
Before hopping in the bed, plopping into bed sweaty with. Just obliterate all this prep you're doing.
00;10;40;22 - 00;10;43;23
Dr. John Mayer
Sleep prep number ten.
00;10;43;26 - 00;10;45;29
Dr. John Mayer
Be careful with sleep aids.
00;10;46;01 - 00;10;48;09
Dr. John Mayer
Melatonin. As I talked about earlier.
00;10;48;11 - 00;10;52;21
Dr. John Mayer
Another homeopathic ave have been shown to aid sleep.
00;10;52;24 - 00;10;53;18
Dr. John Mayer
But the benefits.
00;10;53;18 - 00;10;55;26
Dr. John Mayer
Can vary from person to person.
00;10;55;28 - 00;11;03;04
Dr. John Mayer
You can try them, but by using all the tools here, you just may find you don't need anything else. The same is.
00;11;03;04 - 00;11;05;27
Dr. John Mayer
True for prescription medications.
00;11;05;29 - 00;11;07;10
Dr. John Mayer
And keep in mind.
00;11;07;12 - 00;11;16;10
Dr. John Mayer
That these are sedatives that can really disrupt your sleep. They have side effects and they leave you with a sick, drowsy feeling.
00;11;16;10 - 00;11;17;26
Dr. John Mayer
In the morning.
00;11;17;28 - 00;11;45;19
Dr. John Mayer
Now we're ready for the good stuff. If you did all these sleep preps right, they just make the next steps much more effective. Your head is on the pillow and let's get ready for some great sleep. Okay. As you lay in your bed, the first step is to close your eyes and to begin, slow, deep breaths. As you are taking these breaths, start to take a journey in your mind through your body.
00;11;45;22 - 00;12;17;24
Dr. John Mayer
Starting with your feet, my ankles, my shins, my calves, my thighs, my hamstrings, my hips. Keep breathing deep and slow. My butt. My stomach. My back. My neck. My face. My head. Don't rush this process. Always breathing deep and slow. After you finish this relaxation. Now here comes the.
00;12;17;24 - 00;12;21;22
Dr. John Mayer
Most powerful part. I want you to think about a wonderful.
00;12;21;22 - 00;12;49;11
Dr. John Mayer
Picture in your mind. A scene or a story of something that is amazingly pleasurable for you. Your own fantasy. You're still breathing slow and deep. This fantasy in your mind can be a beautiful place you visited. It can be a scene like your starring favorite movie, a sports hero. Or it could be making love to your partner as you picture that in your mind.
00;12;49;13 - 00;13;15;12
Dr. John Mayer
Look closer and closer in every small detail. The color of your clothes. How does it smell? What is the temperature? What do you hear? Engage all of your senses and focus on the tiniest of details. Like your view is getting closer and closer into it. Take for example. You picture a tropical beach.
00;13;15;15 - 00;13;17;19
Dr. John Mayer
And you're on a hammock, gently rocking.
00;13;17;25 - 00;13;46;02
Dr. John Mayer
With the tropical drink on your belly. You smell this here. You see a sailboat in the distance. Your hand falls to the sand, and you can feel the grains of sand in your fingers. The temperature's perfect for you and you can feel, really feel a slight breeze against your skin. You might want to create a family fantasy story in your head.
00;13;46;05 - 00;13;48;27
Dr. John Mayer
Maybe picture the most amazing wedding day.
00;13;48;29 - 00;13;49;09
Dr. John Mayer
Down.
00;13;49;09 - 00;14;09;21
Dr. John Mayer
To the food you will serve. What you dress looks like or your tuxedo. After all, you designed it. It's your fantasy. And literally picture the small details of the lace or the fabric of the tuxedo. Stories like this last one are great because you.
00;14;09;21 - 00;14;11;08
Dr. John Mayer
Can add on to them over.
00;14;11;08 - 00;14;32;17
Dr. John Mayer
And over. And if you wake up, you want to return to the next part of your story. I guarantee you, you'll be laying there with a smile on your face. This brings me to a great tip about these images you are creating in your head. A bonus of doing this is that it gives you a tool for going back to sleep.
00;14;32;17 - 00;14;48;02
Dr. John Mayer
If you wake up in the middle of the night. You can't wait to get back to your story or your images. Ditto with going to bed every night. You look forward to getting back to your fantasies. Another bonus of doing this imagery.
00;14;48;04 - 00;14;49;26
Dr. John Mayer
Is that it prevents nightmares and night.
00;14;49;26 - 00;15;06;17
Dr. John Mayer
Terrors. Because you are. Look, you're loading your brain with positive images as you drift off to sleep, and your brain will go into a sleep state with positive data. Cycling. If you go to sleep with worries and anxiety flooding your mind.
00;15;06;19 - 00;15;10;27
Dr. John Mayer
Then yes, your brain load will have negative data.
00;15;10;27 - 00;15;12;13
Dr. John Mayer
Cycling.
00;15;12;15 - 00;15;14;00
Dr. John Mayer
How could you not.
00;15;14;03 - 00;15;30;14
Dr. John Mayer
Have nightmares and terrors? I'm going to say about more about nightmares and dreams in another episode. Probably the one on therapy for some of you. All of this may sound childish, but I guarantee you there are research studies.
00;15;30;14 - 00;15;32;10
Dr. John Mayer
Confirming each element of these.
00;15;32;10 - 00;15;37;25
Dr. John Mayer
Techniques. I have had the most unlikely people follow.
00;15;37;25 - 00;15;38;00
Dr. John Mayer
My.
00;15;38;00 - 00;15;51;11
Dr. John Mayer
Instructions and sing the praises of these techniques. Here. In addition to all the science behind this. Think about the historical evidence. In generations past.
00;15;51;11 - 00;15;51;28
Dr. John Mayer
Moms and.
00;15;51;28 - 00;16;00;23
Dr. John Mayer
Dads sing lullabies to their children to comfort them, to sleep and told stories or read stories. All of these techniques were.
00;16;00;23 - 00;16;01;01
Dr. John Mayer
Quite.
00;16;01;01 - 00;16;05;02
Dr. John Mayer
Effective. Why? They created images in our heads that.
00;16;05;02 - 00;16;06;06
Dr. John Mayer
Cleared our minds.
00;16;06;06 - 00;16;26;02
Dr. John Mayer
Of any fears and worries, and we drifted off into a lovely sleep. And one last key. Don't toss and turn in bed. All that does make your bed sweaty and uncomfortable. Get up for a few pillows. Sit in a chair, stretch p read, listen to soft music.
00;16;26;02 - 00;16;32;15
Dr. John Mayer
Enjoy the imagery. I got you when you feel drowsy again. Then go back to bed.
00;16;32;18 - 00;16;33;16
Dr. John Mayer
No worry or.
00;16;33;16 - 00;16;36;22
Dr. John Mayer
Problem that pops up into your noggin is going to be.
00;16;36;22 - 00;16;45;16
Dr. John Mayer
Solved in bed. Remember surrender. I've emphasized this in past episodes.
00;16;45;18 - 00;16;49;01
Dr. John Mayer
We often toss and turn because a problem is on our mind.
00;16;49;03 - 00;17;09;06
Dr. John Mayer
In episode two, I discussed giving a problem. Its due. Apply it here if you're worrying, and then go back to that episode and review this very effective tool. Here's a tip to keep a notepad by your bed. It has several good uses.
00;17;09;09 - 00;17;22;24
Dr. John Mayer
If a problem invades your thoughts, write a note on the problem and the day in time you're going to work on it and voila! It solve for the moment you've given the problem. Its due. Then notepad also comes in.
00;17;22;24 - 00;17;24;29
Dr. John Mayer
Handy for creative moments you think of as.
00;17;24;29 - 00;17;33;14
Dr. John Mayer
You drift off to sleep. Finally, some people use a notepad before they lay down to write down all their worries. At the moment.
00;17;33;16 - 00;17;35;08
Dr. John Mayer
This discharges the worries and.
00;17;35;08 - 00;17;37;20
Dr. John Mayer
Puts them aside. Then you can get.
00;17;37;20 - 00;17;46;13
Dr. John Mayer
Comfy and get into your fantasy again. You've given the problems their due. Well that's it.
00;17;46;15 - 00;17;49;11
Dr. John Mayer
Review this episode often and really practice the.
00;17;49;11 - 00;17;52;23
Dr. John Mayer
Techniques they will work for you.
00;17;52;26 - 00;17;58;07
Dr. John Mayer
In the next episode. I'm finally going to detail what the hell anxiety.
00;17;58;07 - 00;17;59;07
Dr. John Mayer
Is.
00;17;59;09 - 00;18;02;10
Dr. John Mayer
But you never know. I just may postpone that.
00;18;02;10 - 00;18;16;00
Dr. John Mayer
To discuss another aspect of this bitch. See you then.