Discernment

In this episode, we delve into the complex topic of dealing with the opinions and judgments of others. It is a common occurrence for people to misjudge our actions and assume ulterior motives, no matter how good our intentions may be. To navigate this challenging terrain, I have discovered two strategies that have proven to be invaluable. The first strategy is to assume positive intent in others. This means believing that everyone is genuinely trying their best with the resources and knowledge they have, irrespective of the circumstances. By adopting this mindset, I am able to approach interactions with a more open and empathetic perspective. It helps me avoid jumping to negative conclusions about people's motives and gives them the benefit of the doubt. The second strategy involves practicing blameless discernment. Instead of passing judgment based on emotions, I objectively evaluate the situation at hand. For example, if someone cheats me, I acknowledge that they were in the wrong without harboring any personal judgment against them. This approach allows me to distance myself from negative experiences without holding onto resentment or bitterness. It is important to note that we cannot truly understand the intentions behind someone's actions unless they explicitly share them with us and we trust their honesty. Assuming we have this knowledge without confirmation can lead us astray and create unnecessary conflict. By implementing these strategies of assuming positive intent and practicing blameless discernment, I have found it much easier to handle situations where people wrong me. It helps me maintain a sense of peace and enables me to make informed decisions about the relationships I choose to cultivate. In conclusion, navigating the judgments and opinions of others can be challenging, but by assuming positive intent and practicing blameless discernment, we can foster healthier and more compassionate interactions.

• (00:00) - Contemplating the Cold Plunge Experience
• (00:32) - The Challenge of Misjudgment
• (01:00) - Two Strategies: Positive Intent and Blameless Discernment
• (01:39) - Avoiding Judgment and Understanding Intentions

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Cold plunge thoughts.

No matter how good our intentions are, people are going to misjudge what we're doing.

People are going to see some ulterior motive.

People are going to judge us fairly or unfairly. And it's easy for us to do

the same to other people.

I found two strategies that have helped me deal with this.

I've found two strategies that have helped me not judge people harshly.

Number one, assume positive intent.

Assume that people are doing the best they can with what they got,

no matter what's going on.

And number two, use blameless discernment instead of judgment.

Blameless discernment is identifying what happened, keeping the emotions out

of it, and just looking at the facts.

If somebody cheated me out of something, then I can blamelessly discern that

they cheated and it wasn't cool, and I can keep them at arm's length in the future.

And I don't even have to judge them. I can just say, this was a bad situation.

I should steer clear of that.

The real issue with judging isn't that, though. The real issue with judging

is when we assume we understand what their intentions were or why they were

doing something that they did.

So blamelessly discerning just identifies their actions without us taking into

account why or how they did it, because we can't know that.

Unless they explicitly tell us and we believe that they're being honest, we can't know.

So, assume positive intent and blamelessly discern rather than judge others. It helps a lot.

This is how I deal with people who wrong me.