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Work-life balance isn’t a myth—it’s a mission. At The Double Win Podcast we believe that ambitious, high-growth individuals can experience personal and professional fulfillment simultaneously. Hosted by the creators of the Full Focus Planner, Michael Hyatt and Megan Hyatt Miller, The Double Win Podcast is your go-to resource for unlocking secrets to productivity, wellness, and work-life balance.
The Double Win Podcast features insightful weekly conversations with thought leaders, executives, and entrepreneurs sharing fascinating personal stories and actionable ideas for balancing professional success with personal well-being. Whether you're looking for motivation to achieve your goals or strategies to harmonize your career and life, The Double Win Podcast provides the perspectives and tools you need.
Michael and Megan focus on the nine domains of life—body, mind, and spirit, love, family, community, money, work, and hobbies—offering practical advice to help you thrive. Discover how to integrate purposeful productivity and overall wellness into your daily routine, stay motivated, and experience a life of joy and significance. Hit subscribe and embark on your journey to winning at work and succeeding at life.
[00:00:00] Megan: The experience of resistance strengthens the architecture of our character enough to hold the weight of our success. Sustainable success demands Maturity, it's not about how high you can build. It's about how deep you can dig the foundation
[00:00:22] Don: Hi, i'm michael hyatt
[00:00:22] Megan: and i'm megan hyatt miller
[00:00:24] Don: and you're listening to the double wind show
[00:00:26] Megan: Well, hello everyone.
[00:00:27] It's megan hyatt miller from the double wind show and today we have a story Special episode. This is going to be a little bit different than our normal show, because this is a recording of a keynote that I recently gave to a group of coaches about leadership lessons that I've been learning in my tenure as CEO.
[00:00:47] I became the CEO of full focus in January of 2021. So I have several years now under my belt. And what I really talk about in this episode, in this, uh, Keynote that I gave is [00:01:00] the assumptions that I had about how life and success and business worked and how those were challenged by many things that I encountered and what I learned along the way, I think that we all step into.
[00:01:14] Situations thinking we know what it's going to take to be successful. And then in reality, it's like marriage or parenting or starting a business or going back to school or anything like that. It's always different. And, you know, honestly, the lessons that I feel like I've learned have been more valuable than the ones that I've learned.
[00:01:32] That I kind of went in thinking more the case. So you're also going to get to hear the very kind introduction of our good friend, Don Miller. This was the business made simple annual event that they do. It was in downtown Nashville. And he gave, um, just the, the greatest introduction I've ever had. So, um, hopefully like one or two things.
[00:01:53] That he said are true. But anyway, thanks so much for taking the time to listen and just know that [00:02:00] we are also going to be taking some time off for Christmas and new years. We have something we call the winter week of rest here at full focus. So we are not only committed to you getting the double win, winning at work and success.
[00:02:11] So this is going to be our last release until we come back on January the 15th. And I can't wait until my dad and I are back then and have all kinds of great conversations on the docket to share with you in the new year. So in the meantime, Merry Christmas, Happy New Years, and look forward to seeing you in January.
[00:02:35] Don: All right, first to the stage, I want to introduce you to, you know, in the movie theme, how many of you have ever seen a sequel that is better than the original film? Raise your hand. Okay, you got to name it. You got to stand behind it. What is, what is it? Empire Strikes Back. What about it? I agree with you there.
[00:02:53] What's this? Despicable Me 2. Having trouble delineating between the two, but I trust you. [00:03:00] Yes. Christmas Vacation. That's right with Randy Quaid. Good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anybody else? Yes. Godfather 2, exceptional. Godfather 3, I thought, was real bad. Terrible, terrible. Alright, so, there's a guy named Michael Hyatt, who created a planner, and it took the world by storm, and then he created a sequel in the form of a daughter.
[00:03:33] Do you see how I tied that together? Hey, and I love Mike. He's a very dear friend. He's off fishing. So let me just tell you, the sequel's even better than the original. And, uh, Megan has taken over as CEO over at Full Focus. She's got over a million, something like 1. million planners in the market. She's in a fantastic job running the company that her dad got started.
[00:03:57] She sort of trimmed it down to [00:04:00] basic essentials in terms of what the public offering is. The company is growing. She's hired a fantastic team. She is a fantastic leader. And we wanted to bring her on to talk about The full focus planner how to organize your time how to structure your life and listen The reality is if we want to grow our business and you live in chaos Your business is going to suffer your business is going to reflect your chaos Your family is going to reflect your chaos.
[00:04:24] Your peace of mind is going to be Affected if we can't get our lives together You know, people ask me, Don, you know, what was the point in which you really started to kind of take off and go from sort of memoirist gazing into your belly button to whatever you are today. And it was the point when I went and visited a guy named Pete Richardson in Colorado, I spent two days with him and I created my life plan.
[00:04:46] That was it. That was the time. And I created that life plan. I began using the full focus didn't exist. Structures and tools that would help me organize my time. And that was revolutionary. The second thing that was the most [00:05:00] revolutionary to me was sitting with Michael Hyatt and creating my perfect week.
[00:05:05] We literally sat down and said, Monday through Friday, what happens if the week is perfect? I took that perfect week to my assistant and I said, let's try to have, make this happen week after week after week and let's defend it. Often it gets attacked, but we always come back to this perfect week and I think my life has been the most productive because of those two things.
[00:05:26] So what we wanted to bring to stage today is somebody who has a mission to help everybody live a more balanced and productive life. Please give a warm welcome to the sequel, Megan Hyatt Miller. That was the best
[00:05:44] Megan: intro ever. Oh my gosh. I think what we've learned this morning is if you need a hype man, that's your guy, right?
[00:05:53] It's so great to be here with you guys. I have been really looking forward to this. You're our people. How many [00:06:00] full focus planner users do we have in the room? Oh my gosh. Yes. Well, you all have one. I think on your table. I'm looking out there. It's a little bright. Yeah. So that's my gift to you guys. And we'll get to talk more about that in a little bit.
[00:06:13] Well, it wasn't just going according to plan. It was better. As Don was just saying, my dad and I had been succession planning for years. I've been training in all parts of the business. And I was already making big decisions and plans for the company. I knew the inner workings. I had seen how the sausage was made and more and more.
[00:06:38] I was leading and he was guiding, letting me try and fail and try again and on my way to success. And then we decided I was ready more than a year ahead of schedule. He was going to step back and I was going to step in as the CEO of Full Focus. [00:07:00] It was everything that I wanted. I felt excited. I was more than a little nervous if I'm honest, but guys, I was just proud and I felt so ready.
[00:07:11] Okay. Freeze frame. You know what's going to happen next? Okay, you're all good story brand people, so I have a feeling that you do. Because you know that the hero of the story needs a big obstacle to overcome. That would be me. Or maybe this resonates with you because it sounds a little bit like your story.
[00:07:32] That moment of taking the deep dive, going all in on building your business, the risk, the excitement, that nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach. You're standing at the edge of something new, something that you've been working for. But you feel that little tug of uncertainty in your gut and then reality hits and whew, it hits hard.
[00:07:58] So less than three months [00:08:00] in to my majestic ascent to CEO, the majority of my finance team quit. Well, that's when I found out that our financial data was about as clear as mud and that lack of clarity had hidden underlying problems that needed solving in our system. This is not what you want to find out three months in.
[00:08:23] What's more, scaling our team with our growing business had destabilized our culture, the heart and soul of our company. And with all that growth, we need a new infrastructure implemented like yesterday. The kind of infrastructure that takes a long time to build when time is the one thing you don't have.
[00:08:46] So there I was, with too many irons on the fire, to mix my metaphor, everything was on fire. And I wondered, not for the last time, what in the heck did I just get myself into? [00:09:00] So what was it for you? Was it the realization that it was all gonna be on your shoulders? But there were a million problems to solve and you knew how to solve maybe half of them.
[00:09:13] Was there a moment where you were absolutely certain that you had been as far as you'd ever been and maybe you'd bitten off more than you could chew? Or maybe it was more than one moment. Maybe it was a slow build and the grind is just wearing on you. The day to day can be so exciting but can also be exhausting.
[00:09:38] No one told you that leadership would be this lonely. You're doing everything you can. You're learning from experienced, smart leaders. You're giving it your best every single day. You're chasing success, doing what you thought would bring you a sense of fulfillment. But [00:10:00] sometimes all you feel is the weight of responsibility.
[00:10:04] If you're honest, when it becomes too much, you find yourself reacting to problems instead of stepping back and responding strategically. You lose track of what's important, just trying to put out all the fires. You're fighting for one more good week, hoping to find some space to breathe. And maybe some nights when the rest of the house is asleep, you say aloud to yourself, this is just too much.
[00:10:34] This is where I could tell you about the full focus system, how it solves so many of your problems and simplifies your business and your life. And all that is absolutely true, but I'm not going to do that for a couple of reasons. First, as you just showed me with your hands, a lot of you are already full focus planner users.
[00:10:53] So I'm not going to preach to the choir. But the second reason and honestly, the more important reason is that when I look [00:11:00] back what I wish I could tell my baby day one CEO self, I don't find myself wanting to talk about tools or tricks. I find myself wishing that I could sit down with that younger self.
[00:11:16] And talk about what I've learned about leadership in life. Because life, as it turns out, is a lot more counterintuitive than we think. Can I get an amen? That's right. And sometimes when you're in the thick of it, you don't need another strategy. You need somebody who gets it, who can remind you that what you're doing, if it feels like it's hard, that doesn't mean you're wrong.
[00:11:44] It's okay to struggle. It's all part of the process. So I don't have a framework for you today, but here's what I do have. I have a few hard fought truths. That have changed the way I lead, I [00:12:00] think, and I live. I'm going to share them with you. I'm calling them four keys to unconventional success, or rather the four unconventional keys to success.
[00:12:11] Half the battle is getting the order right. But don't imagine me up in some high tower, sharing this as the expert. Imagine me sitting across the table from you. Maybe we're in a coffee shop, we're drinking a cup of coffee, or maybe we put our running shoes on and we're out for a walk and we're just talking about the complexity of life, how unexpected and hard, but also redemptive and beautiful it is.
[00:12:40] Are you ready? Okay. So here is the first thing that I would tell myself, the first. Unconventional key to success. Do fewer things. Now, do you really think I was going to stand up here and tell you to do more? Right? I'm the full focus planner girl after all. You know, people [00:13:00] are always tempted to do more, but especially people like us who are leaders, who are CEOs, who are business owners.
[00:13:07] Hardest of all, though, are those of you who are solopreneurs or starting a new venture. So raise your hand if you're a solopreneur or you're starting a new venture. Okay, that's a lot of you. That's most of you. I get it. I mean, you guys are CEO, CMO, CSO, CMO, uh, CPO, like just a lot of letters. You know, just a lot of letters.
[00:13:29] It's all on you. And before long, we can find ourselves completely overwhelmed, can't we? Add to that all the responsibilities of home, and it's like you've got to be some kind of superhuman just to show up for all the people in all the ways that they need you. Now for me, this is trickier on the business side than the individual one.
[00:13:53] So when I stepped in as CEO, I was already committed to winning at work and succeeding at life. [00:14:00] That's what we call the double win. That's what we're all about at Full Focus. I knew the importance of focusing on my life and in my role, and, uh, using the full focus system daily really kept me focused on my individual contribution.
[00:14:12] But honestly, my approach to business as a whole was anything but simple. I probably needed to be at this conference. I thought we needed a large product suite and complex marketing strategies. I'm from Texas. And you know what they, that's right. You know what they say. More is more, right? As I uncovered every new problem, which was regular, I had the urgency to fix them all, like all of them right now.
[00:14:44] We needed to overhaul our systems and reinvigorate the culture and launch new products and catch up. I needed to catch up with the other leaders around me who just seemed to have it all together. You guys ever feel like that? After [00:15:00] all, I was the daughter of Michael Hyatt. This was full focus, and we had a reputation to defend.
[00:15:07] The best way to illustrate what I learned in this season is to talk about one of my favorite things. Plants. Guys, I love plants. Do you have any plant people in here? Yeah. Hey, you in the pink jacket. I knew from the beginning. Yeah, she was in here before I was even starting, and we connected. I don't know about you, ma'am in the pink jacket, but I feel like the right number of plants is always just one more.
[00:15:33] You know, my kids joke that, um, pretty soon they're gonna have to move out, because I'm gonna need their rooms for plants. Well, I know, it's kind of embarrassing. This is just my office, alright? This is just my office. One of the many things that I love about plants is that tending them really teaches us about life.
[00:15:50] And this is not a picture that you're seeing right now, but at my house, I have an Audrey ficus, which is this beautiful tree in my dining [00:16:00] room. It's in my dining room. Uh, in order to help it grow though, what I've learned is I've got to prune, you know, the excess branches so it can flourish and also so it can continue to fit in my house.
[00:16:11] Well, you've probably heard, uh, An example like this talking about doing less, right? I mean, this is a common example. I mean, we've used this example and it's all true, but here's what's also true. If I cut away too much, too fast, that tree in my dining room will go into shock. It will actually die. Not because any one of my individual cuts was wrong, but because it can only take so much change at once.
[00:16:42] Growth requires patience. And a willingness to let some things go and the courage to wait for results. But I wanted to fix everything at once. Trying to do that, though, was really overwhelming. And I came to realize that we [00:17:00] only have so much capacity. And all that day to day, life as usual kind of stuff, it already takes up a lot of space.
[00:17:08] There are limits on what we can do above and beyond the everyday happenings of our lives and businesses. And that's actually good news for a couple of reasons. First, constraints push us to pursue growth that's sustainable. That means growth that we can metabolize. Growth that lasts. We can keep growing because we haven't burnt ourselves out with some kind of overnight miracle grow situation.
[00:17:38] Doing less makes steady progress possible, but it's bigger than that. It's more than that. I don't know if you guys have heard, but there's this kind of anti productivity movement that's afoot. It's all about just doing less for the sake of doing less. Well, I don't know about you guys, but I am not sold on it.
[00:17:58] In fact, I'm [00:18:00] committed to doing less so I can achieve more. Think of it like this. If you take a certain amount of water, and you send it through a narrow tube, that's going to create way more power than if I put the same amount of water into a watering can. When we're tackling too much at once, it's kind of like we're using that watering can.
[00:18:22] It's just sprinkling a few drops here and there, but never really saturating anything. We're just spreading ourselves too thin and the impact is inevitably going to be minimal. But when we're focused on only a few things, we're like a power washer. You know that power washer that can strip the paint off your deck.
[00:18:41] That's what we become like. We're capable of making major progress in a short amount of time. When we give our time and our energy and our attention to just a few things, a much bigger impact with the same resources is possible. Now, it [00:19:00] seems like maximizing success requires us to maximize our activity, but that is all wrong when we do fewer things.
[00:19:10] When we create focus, we experience the kind of success we want because success, all kinds of success are not created equal. What we want is success that's sustainable and success that has a big impact for years to come. Now, listen, if I could go back several years. Watching all those problems just pile up.
[00:19:34] Here's what I would say to myself. Megan, you're right. These problems you see are real. And it is really important for you to figure them out. Some of them are urgent, but you don't have to address them all this month. In fact, you can't. Not the way you want to. Instead of fighting that reality, instead of letting it make you feel like you've failed, let it be what it is.[00:20:00]
[00:20:00] Recognize the problems for what they are and pick the absolute priorities. The ones that need the most attention. Just focus on those. Don't press too hard or too fast. Commit yourself to doing less.
[00:20:23] So what about you? Where are you doing too much? Maybe your business is doing too much. Maybe you've taken on too many projects at once. You try to diversify your product line, add new services, or chase new customer segments all at the same time. It feels like progress, but in reality, you stretched yourself too thin.
[00:20:48] So what projects are taking up too much time? What clients do you need to part ways with? What product lines do you [00:21:00] need to let die? What business transformation do you need to slow down? Where do you need to do less for the sake of doing it better? Or maybe you're personally doing too much in your business.
[00:21:17] Like maybe it seems that it's the only option and you're really afraid of what might happen if you put down some of those, the hats that you're wearing and surrender control. What tasks are demanding your best time and energy? What do you know you need to delegate? But feel like you don't know how to, or who to trust.
[00:21:43] By the way, if you feel like that, you are really normal. I can't tell you how many clients I've worked with, and they struggle with that. Everybody struggles with it. Now, maybe it's meetings. What meetings do you have on your schedule regularly that you need to get rid of, like, tomorrow? Just stop having them.[00:22:00]
[00:22:00] And then there's the personal side. Maybe you're doing too much at home. Maybe you have this idea of the ideal spouse, or the ideal parent, Maybe it's shaped as much by society as it is by your own values, but you don't even realize it. So you're bending over backwards trying to match a picture that you never would have painted for yourself.
[00:22:23] Are the tasks that you've assigned yourself at home, are they actually the ones that have high relational ROI? Are there activities that you can start getting help with maybe from your spouse or your kids or a professional? And are there things that you just need to declare a lost battle and just let that be okay?
[00:22:45] Or maybe you need to do fewer things in your days. If you're not yet a full focus planner user, that's why we've given you one today. Now, maybe you've just fallen off the bandwagon that happens to the best of us. You [00:23:00] find yourself starting with an impossibly long list. for the day and you just end up feeling defeated, right?
[00:23:08] So what do you need to change? What habits or commitments are a misfit for the season of life that you find yourself in? What parts of your days do you find most exhausting? And how will you find space for the rest that you need? Now, doing fewer things Can kind of feel like you're admitting defeat, but it's actually a strategic decision.
[00:23:37] The question is, what are the things that only I can do? You want to think about that question in the context of your relationships, your leadership, your business, and your life, because those are long games. They're not going to be won or lost in a year. They're going to take time. And when we relentlessly [00:24:00] commit ourselves to doing fewer things.
[00:24:02] We set ourselves up to win where it actually counts. So what are the very few things that are absolutely necessary for you to do? And what would it take for you to get, uh, for you to stop doing most of the rest? So the first unconventional key to success is to do fewer things. Now, here's what else I would say to myself.
[00:24:29] The second unconventional key to success is to make friends with problems. Now, this should be the part where you're going, Oh no, where's she going with this? Make friends with problems. What? Well, listen, when I became the CEO, I brought with me some assumptions. Now, the thing about assumptions is that they're sneaky, right?
[00:24:53] Like you don't even know you have them until they just kind of jump you somewhere. They're hard to notice. And [00:25:00] looking back, I realized that I had a big assumption about success. It went something like this. Success is a recipe and if I find it and follow it, I will graduate from all my problems. Listen, I could sell that all day long, right?
[00:25:17] I thought that it was a direct cause and effect relationship that was a magic formula and it went something like A plus B plus C equals problem free success. Am I the only one that believed that? Okay, good. Thanks. I was feeling a little self conscious there for a second. I thought I would find this linear up into the right path and I would have just arrived, but the path wasn't up into the right.
[00:25:45] It was a lot more like this. Sometimes it feels like I was making progress and then other times I was circling back to the same struggles. And my hidden assumption that it should [00:26:00] be linear made that reality really painful. It meant that I was constantly disillusioned and discouraged when the problems just coming.
[00:26:14] I felt like a failure. It seemed like if I was actually good at my job, I would be able to engineer the problems out of the system. If there were problems in my business, like, I don't know, system problems, culture problems, client problems, it was a sign that I had failed. I was supposed to have the answers, but I didn't.
[00:26:42] I thought if I were a better CEO, these problems would just disappear. The super successful leaders that I saw all around me, and guys, let me tell you something, there is no shortage of super successful leaders in my life. They must just be better at it somehow. They must be more [00:27:00] talented or more intelligent.
[00:27:02] And then just must, must be more cut out for it than I is. Can you hear the shame in all of that? The fear and the shame? Because I'm convinced that fear and shame are at the heart of most overwork. And we need to hear it. to be able to fight it. The fear of not measuring up, of being exposed is not quite enough.
[00:27:32] It's a powerful driver, isn't it? It keeps us grinding and pushing and hiding behind a confident smile. But if I could go back and tell my newly minted CEO self something, I'd want to help her fight back against the shame and give her a bigger perspective. I'd say, Megan, a problem free life will never exist.[00:28:00]
[00:28:00] Also, a problem free business will never exist. No matter what level of success you have, you will always have problems. Now, there are going to be different problems. Sometimes there are going to be better problems. And sometimes there are going to be problems that are also harder to solve. But the problems you're facing, they're not a sign that you've failed.
[00:28:22] And if you dare to believe it, problems aren't a bug, they're a feature. A feature that grows us up. Problems are how we learn. They help us grow. Like muscles tearing and repairing when we lift weights, making us stronger. Problems grow us into the leaders that we need to become. Here's what this message does for me.
[00:28:53] When I realize that there are always going to be problems to solve, those problems become a whole lot less demanding, a [00:29:00] whole lot less defeating, and a whole lot less stressful. They stop being signs of failure that I just need to try to erase as soon as possible. They transform instead into invitations to become more excellent, more resilient, a better problem solver.
[00:29:22] They become like, less like enemies. And more like teachers, challenging, absolutely, but deeply necessary. So what about you? On some level, you know, there's no such thing as a problem free life, right? Especially as coaches and guides, we know that life is full of problems. And business is the work of helping people solve those problems.
[00:29:53] And yet, there's that nagging belief that if you were better, Or [00:30:00] if you were smarter, things wouldn't be so hard. It's the myth of effortless success. That idea that if we were doing it right, it wouldn't feel like so much of a struggle. But where do you need to make friends with problems? Now, listen, I am not saying that you need to stop worrying about them.
[00:30:25] You need to commit yourself. To solving them, to thinking creatively, to looking for novel solutions. But where do you need to stop expecting everything to just be good all the time and instead start telling yourself that problems come with the territory. When we were talking about this keynote, my husband, Joel, and I were reminded of this story.
[00:30:49] That's honestly, it's really more his to tell than mine, but, uh, it illustrates the point so well that I decided to tell it anyway. Don't worry. I have his permission. So some of you know Joel. Joel used to be [00:31:00] in publishing and he worked with a lot of authors. And in case you've forgotten, authors are, which is easy to do, authors are really just like the rest of us.
[00:31:10] That's their people. And they can be full of great ideas, which is often the part that we see from stage. They can also be emotional, unreasonable, and do things they shouldn't do. Well, for several reasons, including legal ones, I'm going to hold the details of this story. But let's just say that one of Joel's authors got this in trouble.
[00:31:31] The kind of trouble that would trigger the, uh, moral turpitude clause in a contract. That part where, uh, the publisher says basically your behavior was so egregious that we can't publish your book anymore. Well, the situation, as you can imagine, talk about problems. It created a lot of problems. And Joel was understandably frustrated.
[00:31:53] Not only was it a difficult situation, but of course it was taking time away from his other projects that were important. So [00:32:00] one night he comes home. He's, uh, he's venting and he's like, I cannot wait till this is over and I can get back to my real job. Have you ever said that?
[00:32:12] I mean, he just wanted some relief from a tricky situation. And I'd been there too. So man, I could empathize, but it was the wrong way to look at a problem. I said, Honey, this is your real job. Good news. Bad news. Well, a few days later, he was talking to his boss. His boss's situation was nearing resolution, and his boss said something similar.
[00:32:35] He said, If it were easy, they wouldn't need us. Isn't that good? It's a great reminder that the hardest problems, the ones that make us want to throw in the towel, are often the exact reason that we're in the room. Mm hmm. If everything went smoothly, if every project went perfectly, there would be no need for problem solvers, for [00:33:00] leaders who can dig in and stay the course.
[00:33:04] Problems, especially the tough ones, are not detours on the road to success. They are part of the training program and often exactly what we need to prepare us to go to the next level. So, if you're finding yourself constantly frustrated in some area of your life, maybe it's in your work, maybe it's in your marriage, maybe it's in your parenting, maybe it's all three.
[00:33:35] Maybe what you need isn't a solution to all your problems. Maybe what you need is to reframe your thinking to embrace the problems as part of the process. It's a paradigm shift, to be sure. Instead of fighting the existence of problems, instead of trying to find, you know, the six hacks that will make your life perfect, you [00:34:00] radically accept the reality that there will always be something to work on.
[00:34:05] Then, problems don't have to derail your day. It's actually really freeing. In fact, you can start seeing problems as good news. Why? Because problems show you your next opportunity. They're invitations to become a better leader and a better person. Now, if you think back for a second, it's usually out of solving our own problems that we're able to serve others in the midst of their own.
[00:34:35] How many of you today, part of the work you do, is helping other people solve a problem you once didn't know how to solve? Like literally almost every hand went up. Where do you need a paradigm shift and what would it make possible for you? Like I said, this does not mean that you're going to give up on solving problems.
[00:34:56] I mean, quite the opposite. In fact, the whole [00:35:00] conversation leads me into our next unconventional key. You need to do fewer things. You need to make friends with problems and then don't quit too soon. Now, remember how I said I thought being a successful CEO was basically all about talent? Well, here's what I know now.
[00:35:19] It's actually mostly about persistence, which is good because we can control that. I'm coming to realize that the most worthwhile things Are way harder and take way longer than we think they should think about it. Marriage, parenting, business, healing. If you've ever written a book, oh my gosh, they're really costly and often painful.
[00:35:47] And they always test the limits of our patience because I am not a patient person, and I think God knows that. And he has engineered my life to help me with that little problem. They don't [00:36:00] follow our timelines. They ask more of us than we plan to give. But when we stick with it, two really important things happen.
[00:36:09] First, we see results, eventually. Most of the time, the difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is those who are willing to stick with the problems the longest, who are determined not to quit, and who keep pursuing solutions. Who stayed hopeful and kept believing that the next step could be the one that leads to breakthrough behind every overnight success is a decade of effort and failure.
[00:36:44] All of that is really important. Now, the second thing is more unexpected and honestly, more important. When we stick with something hard, we mature. We become the kinds of people we need to be. In [00:37:00] order to shoulder success, put differently, the resistance, trying and failing and waiting and trying again, it grows us up.
[00:37:11] If success comes too easily or too soon before we can handle it, the gift that we're seeking becomes a curse. It destroys us. Just stop and think for a second of a celebrity or a pastor or 10 who rose quickly only to fall even faster. They didn't have the maturity they needed to handle the responsibilities that success bestowed.
[00:37:44] Tom Petty was right. The waiting really is the hardest part, but waiting grows us up and we need that. We're not yet the people that we need to be to lead our families or our [00:38:00] businesses. The way we dreamed of. We're not ready for the next chapter yet. We only become that person through a difficult journey.
[00:38:10] As Don reminds us in a million miles and a thousand years. I've had to learn this one over and over again. Y'all there were so many times I wanted to quit when the demands felt too great. When the criticism stung, when it felt like I was missing out on an easier, simpler path, but every time I stayed, I learned something new.
[00:38:41] I developed a new layer of resilience. I became more of the leader that my team needed me to be. The experience of resistance strengthens the architecture of our character enough to hold the weight of success. [00:39:00] I'm going to say that again because I think it's really important. The experience of resistance strengthens the architecture of our character enough to hold the weight of our success.
[00:39:13] Sustainable success demands maturity. It's not about how high you can build. It's about how deep you can dig the foundation. I think a lot about this idea called frustration tolerance. You guys ever heard of this? It's basically how able are you to feel intense frustration without ringing the bell? It's resisting the urge to blame other people or to give up on a problem.
[00:39:38] And it asks, are you willing to fail? Keep figuring things out to keep fixing things. To keep learning things, to keep trying until you finally get it. If I could go back, I'd coach myself into even greater frustration tolerance. I'd say Megan, leading a [00:40:00] company is a lot less about talent and a lot more about tenacity.
[00:40:05] If there's one thing I know about you, you are tenacious. In fact, it's your most essential skill, so use it. When things get tough, embrace it. When you feel uncertain, try anyway. When nothing is working, keep looking for solutions. When you want to give up, practice hope. When you feel like you need a break, take one.
[00:40:28] And let that rest power your success. If you can stay in the game, you'll make it. It's gonna be okay.
[00:40:45] What does all of this mean for you? Well, I'll tell you what it doesn't mean. It doesn't mean that you need to go looking for pain or problems or opportunities to grow up. You don't need to make anything harder than it needs to be. I mean, trust me, the hard stuff [00:41:00] has a way of finding you, does it not? In fact, I bet you're in the middle of a few hard things already.
[00:41:09] Let those things come to mind. What do you see? Maybe it's the face of someone that you love who has been really hard to love. Maybe it's a health problem you can't seem to solve or even manage. Maybe it's the open spots on your client list. That you really need to fill. We refuse to quit. What is it worth to you?
[00:41:43] And who do you see yourself becoming as you stay? Because when we stay, when we don't ring the bell, we grow and that can be even better than success, which brings me to our [00:42:00] last unconventional key. Do fewer things, make friends with problems, don't quit too soon, and don't pretend that success is enough.
[00:42:13] All right, are you guys ready for a really confronting reality? Good. Y'all are game. I love it. Don't worry, I'm not going to talk about your death. We'll save that for another day. However, this one might be more sobering. You're going to wake up one morning, and you're going to realize that life has been hurrying by.
[00:42:31] And along the way, you're going to You've become a certain kind of spouse, a certain kind of parent, a certain kind of leader, a certain kind of friend, a certain kind of person. You're gonna look at the state of your health, the state of your mind, the state of your spirit, the state of your relationships, and what you're gonna be left with is mostly [00:43:00] the accumulation and the results of Of your choices.
[00:43:05] Hundreds of thousands of choices, big and small made each and every day. And you're gonna have to grapple with who you've become. Listen, you can reach the top of the mountain, whatever that is for you. But if your kids And your spouse won't talk to you, or if your health is failing because of neglect, or if you just feel dead inside spiritually, it won't have been worth it.
[00:43:40] I felt this especially keenly recently when I was watching an episode of The Chef's Table on Netflix. Has anybody seen it? So good. It is a beautiful, if you haven't seen it, it's a beautiful Feast for the Eyes docuseries that explores the stories of highly successful chefs. Now, I'm not a chef, but I do love to eat [00:44:00] so the show is right in line with my, my tastes.
[00:44:03] Well, there's this one episode that came out in the new series It's all about noodles, by the way, uh, and it follows a chef named Ji Rong Wei. Now, she grew up in northern China. I did not know this about China. In northern China, wheat, not rice, is the basis for the cuisine. Her family was very poor. She faced a ton of deprivation growing up, and she grew up very familiar with difficulty.
[00:44:31] She had to fight really hard for success. Well, she defied cultural expectations. And she became a head chef, not just a head chef, a very good one, and as a woman no less. In fact, she was given the opportunity to move to London and work in a famous restaurant specializing in a different kind of Chinese cuisine.
[00:44:54] There she introduced some of her hometown food and she received rave reviews. [00:45:00] Well soon, of course, she decided to open her own restaurant. It did so well, she opened another. Now, she's at the height of her career, and she's doing it all for the people that she loves. She says in the show that she always believed her work could change her family's fate.
[00:45:19] She's sending money home to her parents, and she was able to help provide for her sister's education and their housing. She hires a nanny for her daughter, and she pays for private school. And in some ways, I mean, it sounds like, you know, A heroic story like it worked, right? Her restaurants are incredibly successful.
[00:45:37] Her sister's education allows them to become fully independent adults, including one who becomes a doctor. She builds four cottages for her family. Her daughter thrives at school. Her parents recognize that she's just as capable as any son could have been. I mean, it's, it's pretty impressive. But, and you knew there was gonna be a, but.
[00:45:59] It [00:46:00] all came at an incredible cost. She starts work at 7 a. m. and she returns home at 1 a. m. She commutes three and a half hours a day so her daughter can attend the school. She admits to missing her daughter's early childhood. She says, I was always conflicted. I wasn't sure if I should be spending more time with my daughter or giving my all to my two restaurants.
[00:46:32] I haven't been a good mother. I feel quite lost about it. At one point, her daughter says, Mom, when will you spend time with me and rest? Honestly, it was painful to watch. She's doing this all with good intentions because she loves the people in her life, but she's missing the moments that matter the most.
[00:46:55] She's missing the relationships. She's chasing success [00:47:00] when all her family really wants, all her daughter really wants, is her. It's easy to see how she got there. I mean, the water we're swimming in has a lot to say about success. It says that professional success is everything. It says sacrifice is going to be necessary.
[00:47:22] It says you have to work longer and harder than everyone else. That's what makes you a good leader. But it's not true and the irony is that relentlessly pursuing success in the end actually undermines your success. You know, I mentioned the double win earlier at Full Focus. We talk about winning at work and succeeding at life.
[00:47:44] That little and is everything. One of our core beliefs is that work and life are not oppositional. They can definitely create tension in terms of how we allocate resources. But they're actually not competing. They support each [00:48:00] other when we're thriving at work. It fuels our lives, right? I mean, we're bringing home more money.
[00:48:06] Of course, we're creating opportunities for our family, but we're also able to bring home that sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. We broaden our identity and our contribution. We model work ethic and those things are more caught than taught. And when we're thriving in life, it impacts how we show up at work.
[00:48:29] When our most important relationships are flourishing, when we're attending to our health, when our minds are grounded and clear and brimming with possibility, when we have a deep sense of purpose and meaning, it changes how we make decisions In our business changes, how we lead changes, how we interact with our clients and come up with solution.
[00:48:54] Now here's a confession as if this whole talk had not yet been [00:49:00] vulnerable enough. My company was behind on our numbers in August. Has that ever happened to you? Now, not a little bit behind like 50 percent of our budget behind. Now I knew we'd get through it. I've been through a lot of hard things. But what the heck I was concerned and rightly so now we've gotten through much bigger problems before that was true But I also knew that this was one of those problems That was both urgent and important.
[00:49:37] That's kind of an understatement You know a bad month is one thing But if you have many bad months, that's another thing, right? And since I basically have a PhD in worrying it didn't take long before my thinking began to doom spiral Are you guys familiar with the Doom Spiral? [00:50:00] Yeah, it's a special club that we're in in here.
[00:50:03] The Doom Spiral Club. Yeah. Well, as I wrestled with this problem and what to do and say to my team, right, I made a decision that might seem kind of weird to you. I gave them a book assignment. What? Well, in September, we read The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod as a team. How many of you have read that book?
[00:50:24] Isn't it so good? We had him on our podcast and I just loved his message. Well, I tasked them with walking through their own version of their miracle morning. Every day for 30 days. Why? Because I knew that to solve this problem, we needed the best version of every single member on our team to show up. And I knew that that meant addressing the realities in their life, including things like their sleep, their mindset, their sense of possibility.
[00:50:57] You know what happened? We brought [00:51:00] to life a breakthrough idea. And we had a few smaller wins and we caught up better yet, we beat our September numbers and we're on track to do the same thing this month. And I really think the miracle morning made a huge difference because how we show up to work matters.
[00:51:21] I don't think I would have made the same leadership decision a few years ago. I probably would have just, you know, double down, buckle down, drilled into the problems and encouraged my team to even greater effort. And don't get me wrong. I mean, we did plenty of problem solving, but we started by focusing on becoming the people and the team that we needed to be to solve the problems before us.
[00:51:45] See the difference? And that meant beginning every day by focusing on a bigger vision of the future. Reminding ourselves of what was true, taking time to regulate our nervous systems, move our bodies and show [00:52:00] up as our best selves. Well, I've been committed to the double win now for over a decade, but everybody needs reminders, including me.
[00:52:09] And everyone needs invitations to live in deeper alignment with the things they value the most. So if I could go back in time, I'd say, Megan, these years are about to be some of the hardest of your life. And you and I both know that's not because the first few decades were a walk in the park. You'll be leading through the aftermath of one of the greatest historical events in living memory, COVID 19.
[00:52:35] It's going to be way harder than you think, but it's also going to be more rewarding. As the challenges come, don't stop showing up for the people that you love. Don't give up on family dinner, go to the football games, the school events, laugh with the people that you love, turn off work talk, just be with your family.[00:53:00]
[00:53:01] And this will be even harder. Don't stop showing up for yourself. Don't relegate the things that give you life to the sidelines. Keep investing in what's restful and grounding. Keep chasing beauty. Keep making time for stillness and silliness. Keep slowing down and noticing that even when things get hard, it's important to remember that life is also beautiful.
[00:53:34] Make time to create. To tend to your plants and your people and to go on trips with Joel. Savor all of it because this, this is the life you're made of. This moment is critically important for your future. Now, thankfully, that's what I did. Not perfectly, not even by a long shot, but with commitment and with tenacity.[00:54:00]
[00:54:01] So what about you?
[00:54:06] Maybe you're pushing so hard for a vision of success. That you're letting life slip you by. Maybe you've convinced yourself that someday, when you reach the next milestone, that's when you'll make time for yourself, or finally take care of your health or your relationships. But what if that day never comes?
[00:54:31] What if waiting for everything to be just right means you're missing the moments that matter most right now? The truth is you can't wait until you arrive to start living fully. You have to build the life you want as you go. You're never going to hit perfection and there will always be plenty of problems.
[00:54:50] Remember? Yeah, you're gonna have to make a few sacrifices, sure. But what you're chasing is a better, fuller life, [00:55:00] not a life where you've given everything away to achieve your professional goals. We have to learn to sit in the tension, to ask, how can I pursue what matters in work without losing what matters to me?
[00:55:18] How can I make space for rest even when the deadlines are pressing in? How can I make sure that the people who matter most to me know that they're what matters most? This is the heartbeat of the double win, and it's the essence of what we do at Full Focus. So don't let success become a trap that steals your time and consumes your joy.
[00:55:45] Don't let it keep you from fully participating in a life that's already happening all around you. Where are you letting life pass you by as you chase success? And what are you going to do about it? [00:56:00] Now, if you've been paying attention, you've probably guessed the end of the story. The first couple of years as CEO, a couple of personal crises in there, including a rare heart attack, knocked the wind right out of me over and over.
[00:56:19] There were too many things grappling for my attention over and over. I was confronted with problems that felt too big over and over. I wanted to quit. Over and over, I was tempted to give too much of myself to the company that needed me. I made mistakes, plenty of them, and they grew me up. They grew me into a better leader.
[00:56:48] I hope someone who's wiser, more compassionate, more tender, someone who is less afraid of problems and less afraid of failure. Someone who trusted that if I stayed [00:57:00] long enough, I could end up exactly where I wanted to be. I was humbled. But I grew like never before. At the end of the day, it's not what we accomplish that matters the most.
[00:57:14] It's not the businesses we build. It's not the products that we create. It's not the income we bring home or even the problems we solve for other people. All of that is empty unless we're becoming the kind of people we aspire to be along the way. The process of becoming is the best part of life. of being human.
[00:57:39] That sense of reaching for more of fulfilling our potential of growing into the kinds of people are younger cells would be a proud of. That's the good stuff. That's the heart of a life well lived. When we do fewer things, we become people more aligned with our priorities. When we make friends with [00:58:00] problems, we become people of greater peace.
[00:58:02] When we refuse to quit too soon, we become both persistent and patient. And we remember that success won't be enough. We become more balanced, more joyful, more fulfilled. I became CEO and it didn't play out at all like I thought it would. Now, standing where I am now, I'm really grateful. It didn't go according to plan.
[00:58:36] It was actually better. What about you? Here's what I want to leave you with today. You are doing better than you think. You're doing better than you think. You are exactly where you need to be. This is the curriculum. [00:59:00] The curriculum of life. The ups, the downs, all of it. It's making you into exactly the kind of person that you need to be for the future that you're made for.
[00:59:15] As Richard Rohr says, everything belongs. So trust the process. Give yourself grace and keep going because it's worth it. Thank you.
[00:59:41] Well, guys, I hope that you felt encouraged and challenged as you listened to that talk that I gave. It's a good reminder to me that there's always room to grow as a leader, you know, we're never done. And I think it's so important to allow our assumptions to be challenged. And [01:00:00] it can be humbling as least it was for me to see the gaps in my own leadership where I struggled and all that I had to learn that I didn't realize I had to learn.
[01:00:09] But I also think, uh, and I, maybe I've just had a lot of practice at this. But when we are humbled and when we cultivate that humility, it really becomes a superpower. And, you know, there's certainly been many opportunities that I've had to cultivate my humility as CEO. I know that I'm still growing. I know you guys are still growing and that's okay.
[01:00:28] I think it's not about perfection. It's about being a good student. You know, it's about learning. It's about growing and doing better this year than the last year. So, you know, I just want to say that as you're going into the new year, I believe in who you're becoming. I believe in, you know, the things that life is bringing in your path to help you with that effort.
[01:00:50] I just led a conversation with my women business owner, mastermind, the double wind mastermind. And we were talking about the idea of resilience and some of the themes, actually, that you [01:01:00] just heard me talk about in, in this speech. And, uh, I think there's so, there's so much to learn and there's so much to grow and you don't have to do it perfectly to be successful.
[01:01:10] I certainly don't, I haven't, and I imagine I won't be getting much better at perfection as life goes on, but I hope that I will become a better and better leader, better and better visionary for full focus as time goes on. And. You know, continue to learn how to serve you better. So thanks again for taking the time to listen and I'd love it.
[01:01:27] If you would take a couple moments and go to wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review for the show, five stars, if you can. And the reason for that is because it just helps us to get the show in front of more people who need to be exposed to this idea that, um, it doesn't have to be either, or you really can win at work and succeed at life.
[01:01:45] You can have the double win. We are just the best. On a mission to make it nearly impossible for people just like you not to get the double. And we want to remove all the obstacles to that. And one of the ways you can help us do that is by rating the podcast. So people find it. All right. Thanks so much [01:02:00] again.
[01:02:00] Happy new year. Bye bye.