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Personal finance expert Tammy Barton, shares life changing money stories and looks at how money can transform every aspect of daily life.
0:00:00
But I'll just never forget and my dad and my stepmom just constantly telling me, you know, this doesn't make sense. You know, I'm having to like at times I was borrowing money off my nan to get nappies. And my nan was just like, he works, he's gone to work every day, he gets everything he wants. Like this needs to change. And I just kept thinking to myself, yeah, everybody's right. All of it was so embarrassing. Like I can't explain it any other way because I thought it was embarrassing. Welcome to My Money, My Story, where we chat to some amazing people about their money story and hear just how much money can really impact your life. And I'm your host, Tami Barton, founder and director of My Budget. We begin today by acknowledging the Kaurna people, traditional custodians of the land on which we are recording our podcast today. We pay our respects to their Elders, past and present, and we would like to extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. Well, welcome Dana to our podcast. Dana is one of our inspirational My Budget clients and we're here today to learn about your story and share some of your learnings and experiences with our listeners.
0:01:16
And I know a little bit about your story, but I'm going to hear it for the first time from the horse's mouth, or from you, I should say. So I'm excited to hear your journey and I'm excited to unpack some of the things that some of our listeners could learn from you. Let's get started with a bit about your background and your journey and your relationship with money? My relationship with money was okay when I was younger. I had a pretty good job after I'd left school, but I ended up getting stuck once I started getting into some more serious relationships in my life, and then I started getting into really bad debt. So it was like week to week.
0:02:00
Sometimes I wouldn't even have money the day it hit my account. It would just be gone because my account was like in the negatives so hard. I don't know if you remember Commonwealth Bank let you overdraw there for like a really long time. They had no limit for it and I was just living off that. I'd be like, oh, it's okay. I'll get my money later on and have like $900 overdrawn in my account. So it was not great. And probably being charged fees as well? I don't think at the time they charged any fees as long as they knew that you were going to have money come in, but I think it was after a couple of weeks that's when you'd get charged fees.
0:02:33
Yeah. Right. And were you like it was just an easy thing for you to do to do that? Yeah. The access was easy and then therefore you were able to do it. And then where to from there? Essentially, I just got to a stage where I had so many small loans from small loan companies. And so why were you taking, like what were you getting the loans for? So this is where like some of the nitty-gritty gets in. I'd gotten myself into a bit of a sticky relationship and they weren't great with money.
0:03:04
Yeah, so this is a previous relationship? Yes. I was a smoker, he was a smoker, so we'd blow through a lot of money on smokes and cigarettes, and he was a heavy drinker as well. And so our money would hit our accounts and it would just be gone in a flash. So Friday would come, payday, by I think maybe 6 o'clock that night, done, gone, just done. And to get through to pay our rent, to get food, fuel, to travel and see my family, because at the time I didn't have a car, I had to take public transport, I had to take out these little loans to try and get some money to be able to live. Yeah, and would you wake up on a Saturday morning and go, what did we do?
0:03:49
It wouldn't hit me until probably Monday. Okay, so you'd get through the weekend and then on a Monday you'd go, I'm facing the week now and I've got no money in my account. And by the way, you're not alone in this. Many people have very similar stories, but what makes you different is that
you did something about it, right? You ended up changing. But I know there's more to the story than just this, so please continue. So I ended up having my daughter, who is now six, and I had nothing. There was no foreplanning for the future. And you were working at the time? No, I'd stopped working at... And your partner?
0:04:31
He was working. Yep. But I had to quit my job because I was from the Western suburbs and he was from the Northern suburbs and he had the car, I didn't, and I got into a position where he refused to kind of let me go to work. He was like, I was trapped at home, couldn't go anywhere. And mind you, I was living with his family, so it was really hard to leave. I got pregnant with my daughter. I actually ended up leaving and going and living with my mum and he followed. But...
0:04:58
Meaning, he followed and moved in with your mum? Yeah. So, we moved in with my mum. Unfortunately, she kind of took advantage as well of money, so I ended up paying for or putting my name on things like the Optus bills, the Foxtel. In their household utilities. Yeah. At your mum's place. Yeah. And she would just take the letters and be like, yeah, I've paid it after I'd paid my rent because I was receiving Centrelink, but she wasn't paying it.
0:05:27
And I was none the wiser. So more of my credit was going, more debts were happening. And then we got engaged for God knows what reason. And then we left there, we went and moved in with my dad. And we somehow managed to get married. And I blew, I want to say about 30 grand on this wedding. And how did you come up with the 30,000? So we got a venue that was closing down. So we were going to be the very last wedding and they were happy for us to do installments. So each week I would do installments. So this is before the wedding? Yep. Yeah.
0:06:09
So about a year, yeah, roughly a year leading up to it, I did installments to them. And then we got married and my step-mom, bless her soul, could see that we were struggling really bad and just see how hard it was for me every day to sit there and be like I've not got money I had no money for nappies at times no money for anything that our daughter needed Mm-hmm, and she was like alright. She's really great with money like fantastic super savvy business woman And she's like I'll do a budget for you, and I was like cool We knew what my ex made every week. Yeah, I knew what I got from Centrelink every week. Yeah put it in a budget She's like okay. These are all your expenses This is what we're going to do. It looked like we were going to be okay and be able to pay everything.
0:06:52
And everything looked like on paper it was affordable. And then every Friday would come and it would be like $500 missing, like just out of the count, gone, blown. And she started questioning what was going on, I started questioning what was going on because I'm like, I know what you're making. Did you have a joint bank account at the time? We did. I didn't have access to it. So by the time that I started questioning it and realising, well this isn't adding up, and I had to be a bit sneaky about how I was doing it, like I'd look up what this cost, what that cost, all of that, I was like, okay, so what's going on? And then I realised how in the mud we were. So I said- Was there any other debts that you didn't know about or?
0:07:37
Yes, I actually ended up finding out that he had taken out maybe eight small loans in his name. Right. But is that payday loans or credit card? Payday loans. Payday loans, yeah. And then I found out, even up until, I think it was about a year and a half ago, I found out he'd taken stuff out in my name, even without me knowing. Oh my God. Yeah.
0:08:02
So I kept finding out and it kind of snowballed just continuously. It was like a bad, bad dream. Yeah. But I remember very vividly, I was sitting at a restaurant with my friend and I knew that we had money in our account before I went to lunch with my friend. Yeah. And we'd ordered our lunch, everything was fine. I was, you know, I'd chosen the cheaper options. Yeah. Went to pay, declined.
0:08:30
And I was like, okay. And I just remember her sitting there and looking at me and going, I can't keep doing this. I can't keep covering you. You need to do something. I've been telling you for ages. You need to go onto my budget. Like, do it. Because she was a my budget client buyer. That was it for me.
0:08:46
I just kind of broke down. That was the turning point. That was the moment. Yeah. It actually still shakes me a little bit. It was so embarrassing. I'm getting, I'm feeling shaky. Yeah, it was embarrassing. Like, and my best friend, like, she never judged me, she knew what I was going through. Yeah, she's your best friend.
0:09:01
Yeah, but it was really hard to have to rely on her. And I also hadn't been able to see her for quite some time at that point. This was our reunion lunch and she had to cover me because I was so broke. I'm being like, yeah, it's fine. I can cover it. And so that was about three months, not even, after we got married, maybe two and a half months. I said to him... Sorry, did you tell your friend about the other debts and bits and pieces? Did she know or was it just that you were running short?
0:09:31
I think she had an idea, but I don't think she realised. Because it's hard to talk about, right? Yeah. And I can see it's difficult for you now, just even remembering that time and those emotions and the situation that you're in. I'd worked really hard prior to meeting this person. And I guess being really young, because I think people, like, for reference, I was 19 when I met him, and then I was married by the time that I was 21 with a child. Yeah, yeah, yeah, prior to that, I had some savings in my account. Like I'd worked to get myself to a place where it wasn't hard.
0:10:08
I let him have access to my savings and it was gone. So it was really hard to be in that position when I'd worked so hard to be where I was in the first place. So yeah, about two and a half months after we got married, I went home. He came home from cricket and he was plastered and I was like, I can't do this. You've just blown through all of our cash. Did you work out where the money was going? I still don't know. Previously, like was it gambling or drinking or was it? I have my, so I know that it was drinking, so really bad.
0:10:41
He, he's an alcoholic. He still is. Yeah. But I also believe that it was because he was a reformed drug addict. So I believe that he had slipped back into old habits because it wasn't like I could track the money. He was taking them out or he would get the people that he was working for to pay him cash in hand, part of his paycheck. So it was like, that's how I kind of, yeah, it was very messy. Yeah, sure, sure.
0:11:11
I said to him that night, he came home, Pla said, it was useless talking to him at that point, I said, we're going to my budget, I had made the appointment that day. The next morning I said, this is what's happening, I went into, gosh, I can't even remember where the office was in Melbourne that I
went to. Essendon, Willowdale? I think it might have been Essendon, but I used like the last of my money, I think I had like less than $20, put it in my car, made him get in the car with me, went to this appointment and we went through all of our finances and I just remember the guy that we were talking to, he just looked us dead in the eyes and he's like, you either have to go bankrupt because I can't see another way out or you guys can't do anything, like nothing, like everything's got to give.
0:11:58
You've got to quit smoking right now, you've got to, you can't play cricket, you can't drink, you can't nothing. Your lives are over for a period of time. I just turned to my husband at the time and I said, if you don't do this with me, we're done. And he didn't take me very seriously. So we go home, he thinks that I'm joking, and yeah, it just kind of snowballed there for the rest of about half a month, maybe a month. Did you join at that point? No, but we broke up. Wow.
0:12:33
We separated. I walked. I couldn't do it anymore. Yeah. And I remember I'd taken access to the cards. So we had two cards now for the bank account because I was like, I'm not doing this anymore. So you said to him, you have to join my budget or over. Yep. That was the conversation. Yep.
0:12:48
I got paid and I was trying to be quicker about taking cash out so that I could get stuff for my daughter. So I was being like really sneaky. Yep. Or you're doing what you had to do for your daughter. No word of a lie. I got the notification on my phone, you've been paid X amount into your account. It's like okay, I was at the shopping centre waiting for it. Got up from my table that I was sitting at with my dad, went to the ATM, went to take it out, he'd already withdrawn all of it.
0:13:13
Oh my god. Yep. So it was done. I turned to him and I was like, what did he do for a job that he could be hanging around waiting? He was a plasterer. Right. But he worked for his uncle. Right, so he could be there ready to go. Yeah. I ended up going to my stepmums and we were doing some stuff there and I asked him to pick our daughter up from work, from childcare, and he wouldn't. And he wouldn't tell me where he was, what was going on. I was like, okay. And then I get a message from my nan, because my nan lived with my dad.
0:13:49
Like, we all lived together. She goes, oh, he's come home and he's just packed his bags and left. I was like, okay. That was it. I called my bud, I think it was two days later, joined. They were like, it's going to be a hard slog. They weren't, they didn't lie, but the lady that actually ended up signing me
up to it, she was like, she spoke to someone higher up because I couldn't afford the initial joining fee. Yeah.
0:14:13
It just wasn't possible. And they allowed me to pay it off in these minuscule amounts. I think I did that for like the first year with these tiny little minuscule to pay off the joining fee. But I also moved to New South Wales for a little while, took my daughter and yeah, I've been with them ever since. Well, congratulations on taking that step because it is a big step to confront your money worries head on and deal with that financial stress that you've got going on. I mean, and obviously you had many other things going on in your life. Yeah, it wasn't easy.
0:14:52
It was actually quite traumatic to go through that. I was 21 with a child. I had been married for three months and I will never forget my dad was driving me to my wedding and before we got into the nice car, because it was quite a while away, every exit that we came up to for the freeway going there,
and mind you, it was like an hour and a half drive. Oh my God. He just looked at me and he said, Dana, I can get off. I can turn. Oh my God. And I just kept going.
0:15:23
And I was like, no, I can't let everyone down. And I thought everybody would be so disappointed. I think to myself now, like imagine if you hadn't gone through with it. But it was just so, like all of it was so embarrassing. Like, I can't explain it any other way because I felt it was embarrassing. But I'll just never forget, and my dad and my step-mom just constantly telling me, you know, this doesn't make sense. You know, I'm having to, like, at times I was borrowing money off my nan to get nappies. And my nan was just like, he works, he's going to work every day, he gets everything he wants. Like this needs to change.
0:16:03
And I just kept thinking to myself, yeah, everybody's right, but how do you, after you've told everyone, this is the love of my life, I'm gonna do it. I've had friends that have been in similar situations and where you feel like I've committed to this person. We've put this money down for the wedding and I just, I have to go through with it. But actually you don't and maybe those signs on that highway were signs. You know what, I don't think that just the highway was a sign.
0:16:37
I was getting ready at my best friend's house and we were about to leave and my dad came inside. He said, Dana, don't freak out but I've got something to tell you. And I was like, oh, okay. He goes, your celebrant had a heart attack. Oh my God. Yep. So my celebrant had a heart attack and at the
ceremony, like she was there getting ready and she'd had a heart attack and I was like, oh we're not going to get married. And I kind of at that moment, I was like, perfect. Relief.
0:17:05
Yep. Because it was like, oh, it's not on me now, it's okay, I'll get my refunds from everything, perfect. And then he turned around and he's like, but it's okay, your best friend's going to officiate the wedding because before she went off to the hospital, she signed it all. And I was like, okay. I was like, all right, off we go. I was like, great. Yeah, well, I mean, like I said, that situation in itself is just, it's a really difficult one, I think, because you find yourself sometimes, you know, as I said, I have friends, they find yourself in a bad relationship, but you're so invested in it that you don't want to admit that maybe it's not working, and you don't want to tell your friends and family that it's not working, and there's a level of embarrassment and shame, and nobody actually feels that way.
0:18:00
We've had another podcast guest who has described it as these invisible rules of life, but they're not real rules. No. We can make our own rules. It's the rules that we put in ourselves. Yeah, I think a really big thing for me was I grew up in a pretty turbulent household and things weren't great and I just didn't want that for my daughter. And I regret so much of my younger life and I wish I didn't, but they're lessons that I've learned now and I don't make them again or won't make them again. But it's cost her so much of her life as well.
0:18:35
I can't even explain to you the trauma that she's been through. I mean, for over a year and a half, she was seeing a psychologist every fortnight, just from the trauma of everything that has gone on. And I just think to myself, yeah, if I had just taken a step back and realized I could do it. Yeah, it's about that belief in yourself. Yep. And that courage, which you've clearly got. It was there inside of you.
0:19:04
Yeah. You have that courage, you've shown that courage, and you've been able to transform your
life, coming from difficult circumstances. And everybody makes poor decisions when they're younger and some worse than others but no one's immune from it. You know, that's the whole point of being young because we can bounce back and we've got the rest of our life to recover from those decisions. I think it takes a little while to bounce back though. I mean, I'm not in a perfect scenario now by any means.
0:19:34
Unfortunately, big debt, you know, thousands and thousands of dollars of debt kind of continues to affect you over time. Yes, of course. It's paid, it's all paid off. Yeah. But it's like recouping the savings and finding the strength to know that you can do it, I guess. And I think that's a very good point that you can do that. And that's why we wanted to have you on the podcast today because you've got that strength, you've shown that you can tap in from these adverse situations and go, no, you know what, it's gonna be tough, but I'm not gonna put up with this anymore.
0:20:19
And if you don't wanna join my budget with me, that's on you, but I'm gonna take care of myself, I'm gonna take care of my baby and I'm going to make this change in my life." And you did do it. And by the way, it's a struggle. It's a struggle and we often talk about when you buy things now and you put them on credit card or debt, that's stuff that you've gone ahead, that you're paying for your past and your future. So in your future, you're paying for stuff that you've already used and had fun.
0:20:51
We loved when our clients get to the point where now they're saving for their future. It takes time to do that. It takes time and it's not easy, but I commend and I find anyone who does that and makes a decision to do that in their own life, you're courageous for many reasons. One of them is coming on this podcast and sharing your story and being so real and open because, believe it or not, there are
a lot of people who have been in your situation, who are in your situation, or who might somehow end up in your situation, and by you sharing the struggles and then getting out of those struggles, now, no one's life is perfect.
0:21:35
No one's life is perfect. Throw that concept out the window because I truly believe it doesn't exist and we shouldn't want it to either because it's all those little unknown areas where sometimes the best things can happen. It's those adverse situations that show us the strengths that we didn't know that we had that we need to tap into at other times in our life and it gives us training for that. So talk to me about, you've joined My Budget now and I know that you've got another beautiful child, so you have two children and you've been remarried and so... We're not married yet. Oh no, sorry.
0:22:16
You have another relationship, serious relationship. Tell me about your My Budget journey and how it's helped the way in which you manage your money, how has that impacted your life? So for the first year, it was so tight, like it was to the dollar. And then it started to just be that there was available money, that I was putting savings away. And then I met my partner and he is, he's really great with his money. And he could see that there was more that I could be doing. So we decided to get really tight and save plenty of money, but unfortunately I ended up in a car crash and I had a terrible car. Like I didn't have it insured either. And they had a really nice car. And even though technically I'd done nothing wrong, they were speeding, they had no license and I couldn't see where I was coming out of because of construction. So, like, there were bollards. I couldn't see. I had to creep, like, you physically had to creep out. I've creeped out. They've just smashed into the side of me.
0:23:27
I end up having to pay out every cent of my savings to pay for the car. So, I paid out over, I think it
was 10 grand. Oh my God, at least you had those savings. So well done. Well, that's it. Like, I remember talking to my step-mom and she said, if this happened two years ago, you would have just run. She's like, you'd be in court. Like, there's no way that you would have been able to do this. And I think that was probably a defining moment for me, was the fact that I got the email from the lawyer, their lawyer, and they were like, this is what you need to pay.
0:24:05
And I was like, okay. I was like, well, my savings are there. I don't really want to be using it on this, but I have it. But at least, at least she had it there because that would have been another debt. Yeah, like everybody looked at me and they're like, oh, are you going to be able to pay this? And I was like, yeah. And that was like the look on everybody's face around the dinner table was just like, oh, she's not useless after all with her money. But I think a big thing for me with my budget is being comfortable.
0:24:33
I don't have to worry about it. Yeah. My partner always says to me, you should get off it. You know, it's time to spread your wings and take the reins. And I'm like, nah, it's not happening. I don't care. I don't want to, I don't want to deal with it. I don't want to know. I just want to see that everything's getting paid and I don't have to worry. And you've got peace of mind.
0:24:50
That's right. It's crazy just knowing that I'll wake up on the days that money is supposed to go in or the days that bills are supposed to be paid and it's done. And it just gets done. Yep. And you don't have to think about it. Nope. Worry about it. You just worry about buying nappies, you know, and being a mum and doing the best thing that you can do in your life, doing the things that you're good at and that you love and leave that to someone else or to our people who Yeah, the money coaches.
0:25:21
The money coaches, that's it, who love doing that. And they genuinely it's not just about the money, it's the genuine difference that taking that stress out of someone's life makes on their life, on the client's life. And that's what the money coaches love. I mean, that's what, this is my best, like, yes, I run the business, I'm the founder and director. This is the best part of my job, is talking to clients. Yeah, I think people assume that the person on the other line is gonna judge you, but I feel like a lot of them have already been in that position.
0:26:01
And if I need to do something with my budget, I'll sit there every couple of months and I'll be like, listen, I want to try this out for the budget, I want to see if this is possible, can we see if I can do this in a couple of weeks? And every time they're like, no, it's really great that you're looking after your budget and you're doing so well, and it's always encouraging, even if it can't happen. They're like, we'll call back in a couple of months and we'll see if we can do it then. Or I can see that it can work at this time. And there's no judgment. They are genuinely happy to be helping somebody not struggle. You can hear it in them.
0:26:41
Yeah. It's really rewarding work, I must admit. I mean, it's so rewarding. It's almost selfishly rewarding in a way that you feel so good about the work that you're doing to help someone else. And it's not put on, it's not fake. You're going to visit the office later today and you'll get to feel it and sense it for yourself. I'm excited. Everybody says it.
0:27:04
Everybody says it. It's like a cult. It's like everyone really cares for one another and they care for our
clients and they want to make a difference. But I always go back to it's the client who makes the difference for themselves. They really do by taking that step. That initial step is the hard step. The decision to say, I'm not doing this anymore. I'm changing my life and actually doing it. It takes time to get to that point but once you've got there, I mean it's just a really courageous brave thing to do to make that decision to go, I'm going to change this.
0:27:40
Yeah, and I think that because I joined when I was quite young, but I always tell people that are like 18, 19, 20 that are starting to get their jobs, that are starting to get the money behind them, I'm like, you're young, you go out clubbing, you can buy the Gucci bag, you can do this, you can buy the shoes. I say to them, just join. Sit there, make a goal for the next year, two years, something. I'm like, just do it. So the peace of mind, especially for somebody who's young. Yes, absolutely. Set up your future now instead of waiting.
0:28:19
And you can still budget for fun. But just work it out. Go, well, if you want that Gucci bag, well, it's going to take you this long to save for it. So maybe only spend this when you go out. I used to drink, when I was younger, the $4 Passion Pop or whatever it was to save money. That's just what you do because you've got to you just make those I mean, for me, obviously, a very young mum, I had my daughter when I was 20. Big things for me were her birthdays and Christmas. If I can't have, like Christmas is the big one, if I can't have Christmas, I will melt down.
0:29:02
So every year, knowing that I'll have the money for Christmas is so important. And surprisingly, last year was her first ever big birthday. So it's so rewarding in so many different senses, but I think that people, yeah, I don't know, I think that people just don't realize how big those milestones are in your money. Oh, I mean, you're right. I don't think that people realize, but I mean, I realize because I see
it. I see it day in, day out. Like, it's so important. You want to have the money there for your kids' birthdays. And Christmas rolls around at the same time every year, but it feels like it's just crept up on you. And you want to have that money put aside because that's a time when then people start to use credit cards or borrowing money and that sort of thing to get through because we want to have these lovely it's not that they're extravagant, but you want to buy your kids nice things and you want to be able to provide.
0:30:03
And so, and emotionally, that's just how we're designed and built, especially mums, I think. Mums more so than the dads, like the dads can, but the mums just really want that nurturing. Yeah, I think I had great Christmases growing up, but the months following Christmas, I watched my parents go through that cycle. So, I know, and I was like, I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be that person that spends $2,000 on Christmas and then is catching up for the next eight months. My partner, he's a little bit more, he's told me to rein it in, so I've reined it in somewhat. Yeah, it's those times of year, they kill you. I'm sure everybody's feeling it right now, actually.
0:30:55
Yeah, yeah. Oh, I know. And then the Black Friday sales and the whole bit. What about the future for you? What does the future look like? What are the things that you're what are some of the goals that you set for yourself, whether it be in your budget or just in your life? What do you want to do? So the main one currently is, well, it was getting a new car. We ticked that off the list. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. But now it's going to Western Australia. I have wanted to swim with the whale sharks since I was like 10.
0:31:27
Oh, how amazing. Yes, but it's so expensive to get there. So it's a big holiday. So now it's saving for
that. We're aiming for 2024. It'll be about a $10,000 holiday. Amazing. It's going to be a big one. And for those listening, Dana and I were having a chat just before the podcast started. Dana's actually was a competitive, a very good competitive swimmer back in the day and has done a lot of open water diving and swimming in, what were they called, holes? Ponds? I don't know how to pronounce it.
0:32:00
I think it's Ian's Ponds or Ewan's Ponds. Ewan's Ponds. In South Australia. Yeah, they're the three beautiful... And I'm going to check them out. Oh, absolutely. Anybody listening, if you haven't been, go. Make it a bucket list item. It sounds like a bucket list item. Just imagine something you would see in a movie and they're coming over a cliff and just all of a sudden it's this fairy garden, underwater fairy garden.
0:32:26
Amazing. That's what it is. I can't believe I haven't been and I've lived here my whole life Yeah, and I didn't even know about them. So they can recommend SA tourism, you know, you need to get on to this if you're listening. Yeah. I don't know how it's not more of a known thing Thanks, mr. Shore if you listen And then Japan Japan's the next one amazing. So yeah, we want to go but I want to We want to do it at the time of year where you can go and see the end of the cherry blossoms and then go and ski. Amazing.
0:32:54
Yeah, it'll be a big one. I don't think that's going to happen for a while because we want to go over for more than a month. But you set these goals, right? And then you put a plan in place to get them. And once you've done that and you get on that journey, it becomes much easier. And then when you get that reward at the end, you know how hard you've worked to get there. And so congratulations and well done because there's a lot of people that don't have financial goals and that's okay too, but when you do have them and you put a plan in place to get there, you're more likely to achieve them and experience more wonderful things in your life.
0:33:31
Yeah, I think it's so rewarding because I would have never imagined any of this. My goals three years ago was I need to make sure that I have money next week for... Nappies. Not nappies, fuel or something like that. And now I'm like, oh, $10,000 for WA, let's go. I mean, incredible. That is very inspiring. So thank you for sharing that. So we're coming to the pointy end of it and a lot of what we talk about brings us to the point of gratitude and what we're grateful for. And because everybody has hardships in their life and some more difficult than others and I think that's where gratitude plays a big role and that ability to exercise the feelings of gratitude.
0:34:27
So talk to me about gratitude and what you're grateful for in your life. First and foremost, so grateful for my children. I have to say they get me through every day. But I have to say the people that have supported me through this, whether it be my family and friends or the money coaches that have seen me through, I mean, when I first joined, I was on the phone to the lady bawling my eyes out. And she just sat there and I think she listened to me cry for a good 10 minutes, sobbing my eyes out about it. I'm grateful for all the people that have willed me on. When I didn't have the will to go, they picked me up and kept me going. Like total strangers that I'm talking to through a phone are going, you've got this, along with my family. That, that I'm so grateful for.
0:35:14
Oh my god, amazing. I'm getting emotional just listening to you because I know I've said it already, but it was you. Yeah. And the money coaches in your family were a fantastic support. Yeah. You did this. You took the step. And no one does it alone, by the way. No one does anything alone.
0:35:36
No. There's always a great support system that's helping people who do anything courageous and great and brave. So well done to you. Thank you. Now I'm going to end with a question I'm ending every episode with and it's more about the message that you could get out to the world. So imagine if there was a big billboard, what would you want the message to say or one of those blimps in the sky, if you could put a message out to the whole world, what would it be? Do it now.
0:36:06
Do it now. Do it now. That's it. Like, just do it now. Get your finances sorted now. Yeah. It'll change your life. Yeah. Like, get rid of the emotion and the embarrassment and just do it now. And don't be afraid.
0:36:19
Pick up the phone, ask for help. Be vulnerable. Be vulnerable, which is hard, right? It is. I mean, it seems natural for you. I feel like you're being very open. I don't know if that's normal, but it feels like you're being very open to me. I wasn't. I was when I was younger. I stopped for a very... and that's when things got really hard.
0:36:40
When I closed off, that was really hard, but then I just decided, you know what, if people don't like me, and don't like that I'm willing to share my emotions, I don't want them to be a part of my life. And I just realised I was so much happier when I was true to who I am. And being open and emotional and loud about how I feel and what I go through is who I am. And it can help people. I think that's the main thing. Absolutely. And I think if I was to summarise what you're saying, you think like the judgement The judgment of others is not important because those people who are judging, by the way, probably have more skeletons or things that they're dealing with. I say that with respect because I was always brought up to never judge other people. You take people for who they are.
0:37:35
We get worried about people judging us. We do. That's what we worry about. We're worried about how we're being perceived. Will people judge me if I tell them that I have debt or if I tell them that I don't actually want to marry my husband? Am I going to get judged for that? And it's not up to other people to judge us. We judge ourselves. That's it. And we know and we're in control of that. So I say to anyone out there worried about being judged, don't listen to the judgment. It's easier said than done, I get it. Absolutely.
0:38:07
I'm on TV all the time and I'm getting judged about my squeaky voice. It's not squeaky. Whatever it is, that's okay. I let that go many moons ago. Oh God. But we've just got to let the judgment go and let those voices go because that's on them, it's not on me. No. If you know you're doing the right thing and you're being courageous for yourself, then that's all you need to worry about, you and your family.
0:38:35
Yeah, absolutely. So thank you so much for sharing your story today. We really appreciate it and I'm excited to get you into the office today and show you around and meet some of the people who have been part of your journey and have changed your life because I know that everyone's excited to meet you too. I'm so excited. Thank you for having me. Thanks very much. Thank you. Thanks for joining us today.
0:38:55
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