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Darius Person serves as the Junior High & High School Coordinator for Forerunner Mentoring in Dallas, TX. After many teenage years of idolatry against God, Darius rededicated his life back to Jesus at age 17. His view of God was that of someone who went to God only when you needed something. By the grace of God Darius' eyes were opened. He developed a hunger for God and his word and hasn’t looked back since.
He is a speaker and the author of Sports Was A god The Search Beyond The Game. He played college football at Bethel University where he became the president of Fellowship of Christian Athletes. In college he became more aware of his gift of speaking and the ability to lead others to Christ.
After graduating with his Bachelor's in Music Production and Technology, he served on Young Life staff for three years. Darius currently travels inspiring youth through his testimony and the word of God. He is now happily married to his beautiful wife Lauren.
Show Notes
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others you can mentor.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to the You Can Mentor podcast. I hope you're not mad that I talk fast. I got rhymes that are silly. Wishing you a yeah. That's all I got.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to the Youka Mentor podcast. My name is Steven, and I'm here with a special guest that will probably be one of the best podcast voices you ever heard. His name is Darius Person.
Speaker 3:Dang. Wow. Appreciate that, man. That's that's welcoming.
Speaker 2:Come on. I love that. Darius is gonna be leading our program. We we actually work for a program called 4 Runner Mentoring in Dallas, Texas, and Darius is coming on our staff as the junior high and high school coordinator. And so what that looks like is he's gonna get jacked working out in the gym, mentoring boys, teaching them how to become men of god, connecting them to mentors.
Speaker 2:And what else are you gonna be doing?
Speaker 3:Eating donuts with them in the morning before school.
Speaker 2:Eat donuts with them and then go work out with them.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:That sounds like a good plan.
Speaker 3:I love it.
Speaker 2:It's like a full sir it's like the weather. Like, I don't know, the rain cycle. Darius, can you can you freestyle? I don't know. I mean, I tried.
Speaker 2:I put myself out there.
Speaker 3:Yeah. We're on a podcast. If it hurt this freestyle, I ain't talking about a cast, because I do it real good. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3:You know I would. Shout out Jesus. He died on the wood, that just came off the dome. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Come on. Oh, it's so good. Well, I'm excited for people to get to know you, Darius, and I know you're gonna probably interview a few people coming up. So I'm excited for, for them to just hear your story, hear where your questions are coming from. But I mean, as we jump into getting to know you, I wanna hear the manliest thing that you've ever done.
Speaker 2:If I'm gonna trust you to lead my podcast, I need to know what kind of man I'm I'm bringing into this.
Speaker 3:Manliest thing. Man, one thing about me is that I'm I'm not super handy, but I am handy. I can do, you know Oh, break
Speaker 2:it down.
Speaker 3:Like the simple stuff. You know, I can change a tire.
Speaker 2:You know
Speaker 3:what I'm saying? That's good. I can I can I can do the basics, you know, but I'm not like just that guy that knows every single thing about tools and how to fix stuff and all of that? So I'm a just say I've changed the tire because that's important.
Speaker 2:Hey. That counts. Yep. That's super manly. I mean, women do that too, but like, but that's that's good.
Speaker 2:So I love it. And did you change a tire for, like, a old lady? Because that would be super manly. If it was just your own tire, I don't know if it counts.
Speaker 3:I've I've changed my wife's tire.
Speaker 2:That counts? Okay.
Speaker 3:You know, it it made me feel like a good husband, you know, just be just being able to do that, you know.
Speaker 2:You were there for her.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Oh, I also changed my spark plugs too.
Speaker 2:I don't know how to do that. Yeah. That sounds challenging.
Speaker 3:It's it's really easy. You just take off, like, some screws and buy some new spark plugs at AutoZone, and just need just you need, like, like, a ratchet and a socket and get in there and you get it get it out and replace it. Okay. Yeah. And make sure that you put some some some oil grease on it so when you change out the next spark plugs, you won't have a hard time getting that.
Speaker 2:Stuck in there. Yep. Okay. So So when you plug them in, make sure you plug them in with some grease.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:That's good. Darius, I'm learning new things.
Speaker 3:Hey. Trying to be better man, you know?
Speaker 2:So how how did you get your wife to marry you? What was the story there?
Speaker 3:So, one thing about Lauren is that she doesn't like attention. And so with us getting to know each other when we started dating, we kinda knew, like, off the rip, like, yeah, we wanna get married. We're not dating just to date. We both were wanting to get married. So once we got engaged, we kinda, like, planned the engagement and and the marriage as well.
Speaker 3:So it was 2018, and we was like, yeah. We're getting married this year. Like, I I just felt like, yeah. I'm gonna marry you this year, so get ready. Don't know when.
Speaker 3:Don't know what time and date, location, but get ready. So
Speaker 2:That so that's how you walked into this relationship. You were just like, I'm gonna marry you. I just want you to know.
Speaker 3:So we were, we were introduced by our best friends from college, and that's how we met. And we just started talking then. So, you know, we dated for a year, got engaged, and got married 3 months later.
Speaker 2:Come on. That's amazing. And you've been married 3 years now?
Speaker 3:2. 2 years. 2 years.
Speaker 2:3 in spirit, 2 in in actuality.
Speaker 3:Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's awesome. Darius, you you're a very prophetic guy. You have a bunch of dreams. You told me that your mom is like a dreamer. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And not not just like she's thinking about things, but it's like you're seeing what's coming.
Speaker 3:Yeah. She'd be spot on. It's kind like, it's scary.
Speaker 2:Tell us the story.
Speaker 3:What story? Like like, which story? You wanna
Speaker 2:So this happened more than once. Yeah, man. Yeah.
Speaker 3:She would have dreams. It'd be spot on. So she had a dream my cousin went to jail. And the next week, he was in jail.
Speaker 2:No way. Yep. That's like minority report stuff.
Speaker 3:Man. Yeah.
Speaker 2:She didn't, like, tell him, like, hey, like, watch out.
Speaker 3:Week. You might wanna think about your decisions this week. I had a I had a I had a dream. But, yeah, like, it's, like, it's a gift that she have, and I have it as well. And, yeah, I'm just grateful grateful for that.
Speaker 3:You know, God gives us heads up about things, and it's a it's a a gift that you have to be entrusted with, you know, to know what to pray for and things to be aware of. So yep.
Speaker 2:That's good. Have you had any dreams about me?
Speaker 3:Not yet. Not yet. I'll let you know.
Speaker 2:Okay. I wanna know. If I'm about to do something stupid, I want you to tell me. Just be like, hey, man. I had a dream.
Speaker 2:You were like, I don't know, walking across the street, not looking both ways. You better look both ways, Steven.
Speaker 3:I had a dream being called into your bed with a with a razor in his hand and he just shaved off your mustache.
Speaker 2:Oh. If
Speaker 3:y'all haven't seen Steven's mustache, by the way, go to 4 Runnermidtoyn.com, and it will make your day more better.
Speaker 2:Wow. I don't think my my mustache is on the website. But
Speaker 3:Oh, okay. It's it's like a older picture.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. So but Follow Steven on Instagram.
Speaker 2:You can find you can find me. Good luck. Well, Darius, I wanna talk about why you're in the room. Obviously, you have a lot of experience mentoring kids from hard places. You have done high school ministry.
Speaker 2:You've worked for Young Life. You've just kinda been a man of God in the church, in the school, investing in kids, being a mentor. Would love would love for you to kinda share your background experience and and where where you've, I guess, put in reps when it comes to mentoring. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So I'm born and raised in Jackson, Tennessee all my life and, gave my life to Christ at age 13, but rededicated my life at age 17. Just a young man searching for himself. Just struggle with my idolatry against God. My identity was in sports, and there was a way that I felt noticed and seen and felt significant.
Speaker 3:And the Lord drew me to himself through that, through injuries, just through many various conversations with many mentors in my life who knew the Lord and kinda showed them, like, hey, man, like, you need God because your identity is in sports. So after that, man, I just developed this hunger for God, I mean, his word and had my eyes opened up to who God really was and right away just started just sharing my testimony of what God was doing. I couldn't keep it to myself. And went off to college and got involved with FCA. I was over that.
Speaker 3:I was president over FCA and college at Belton University. Was very engaged with campus ministry and was just super excited about being a lot on campus and just sharing Jesus with my teammates and peers on campus. So that was pretty much my first experience of just just being in ministry, just learning what is learning what it looks like, you know, to, yeah, share Jesus with people in a in a organized setting, you know. So then after that, man, I got involved with church ministry, youth ministry, and, yeah, I just I just saw that man, like, I love this, You know, this this gives me life. I feel fulfilled.
Speaker 3:I just feel alive doing this, and it's my calling. It's what God has called me to do. So after college, I joined Young Life staff in Memphis, Tennessee, and I was placed as a missionary at Manassas High School and did that for 3 years. And the Lord led me and my wife to Dallas and came across 4 Runner, so here I am.
Speaker 2:That's good, man. Well, I wanna hear, yeah, just some of the things that you've learned over the years. But, primarily, maybe we could start with who was mentoring the 17 year old Darius Mhmm. Who's just rededicated his life to Jesus? What who was investing in your life at that time?
Speaker 3:Yeah. So I would say it was it was a lot, man. A lot of people. You know, you like, when you look back over your life, you're like, man. Like, that person was a mentor in my life for 2 weeks or 3 months or 3 years, but the one that that really made an impact was my mentor, Steven.
Speaker 3:Not Steven Mary. But, yeah, Steven was on Young Life staff. No. He was a Young Life volunteer in high school, and he came to the high school with some Young Life leaders, and they invited us to Young Life Club. And, he got my number and invited me to dinner.
Speaker 3:We went to was it was it TGI Fridays? And he challenged me to eat the colossal burger.
Speaker 2:Wow. It's a challenge.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And I regretted it, man. It was it was a big burger. So yeah. So, yeah, Steven, was in my life, and he, walked life with me, life on life, and yeah.
Speaker 3:I think about Barry Cox, FCA in Jackson, John Powell. Man, I think about mentors who they did an investment to me spiritually, but just as a mentor as in just life. You know, Johnny Dodd, Boys and Girls Club was a huge impact on my life as a young man as well. So
Speaker 2:So you were going when you were in, like, elementary school, you were doing Boys and Girls Club? Or
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Yep. Boys and Girls Club. Yep. Play baseball through that.
Speaker 3:Gilliam League in Jackson, Tennessee. So, yeah, I was always involved, you know, with with after school programs and things like that. That was a way to stay out of trouble.
Speaker 2:Well and, I mean, what do you mean stay out of trouble? Because, as a kid, you're probably not thinking about, oh, mom's put me in this stuff, so I stay out of trouble.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But, like, what what's going on in your head? You're like, as a kid doing all these after school activities that Mhmm. You're being put in.
Speaker 3:Well, you know, you mentioned my mom. I mean, she was just a wise woman. Like, she always
Speaker 2:She had a dream. That's why she mentioned a few months ago. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like, she was she was, you know, just a very wise woman, man. Like, she, you know, always gave me words of advice, and she always told me to stay away from the crowd. You know, meaning, like, if it's a big crowd, then probably you shouldn't be around it. Big crowds were gangs. Big crowds were people who were probably up to no good.
Speaker 3:So I was always the kid who knew right from wrong, and my friends knew my mama. Like, they knew that my mama didn't play. You know? So, yeah, I just was a kid who had a vision, you know, to just, you know, do the right thing, man, and and, you know, how I grew up in in the projects and and and project housing, you know, you kinda gaze at where you wanna be and not where you wanna be.
Speaker 2:I mean, I I don't even know I don't I don't remember you sharing the story about your dad, but what was his investment in your life.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So my mom and my dad didn't stay together. They didn't get along. I mean, my mom, you know, she battled with, addiction, alcohol addiction. My dad did as well.
Speaker 3:So they didn't get along. They didn't speak as much, but my dad was around. You know, he came and got me on the weekends and things like that. So he was he was me around.
Speaker 2:So as a kid going to an after school program and probably a similar situation to most of the boys that are in our program
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Do you reflect back on that experience in what what is that like? Just, like, thinking about that experience and
Speaker 3:Man, it's like it's it's so many kids who do not have a caring adult in their life. And what I mean by that is a lot of kids' emotional needs are met, and my emotional needs was not met. My physical needs were, but I was asked, hey. How are you feeling? How can I pray for you?
Speaker 3:You know, how are you doing? How was school? It was none of that, you know. So I got my needs met at the Boys and Girls Club. I got my emotional needs met at Young Life or at practice or, you know, at school, you know.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, I look back like, wow. Like, I'm grateful, you know, for those safe safe havens that I can go to after school and during the summer. So yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's it's not just the people. It's the spaces Mhmm. As well that you think of Yeah. Of where were the places that people invested in my me emotionally or spiritually Mhmm. And you think back to those places, and that's where volunteers were pouring into you.
Speaker 3:Yep. It was a place where I felt like, oh, I'm welcome here. I belong here. People know my name. I'm noticed.
Speaker 3:I'm seen. And that's important for every kid to have, every every young kid because a lot of kids aren't welcomed. They don't feel welcomed at home. They don't feel seen at home. They don't feel, yeah, noticed.
Speaker 3:So for them to have a outlet as as forerunner or whatever it is is is going to benefit their life all around. It's gonna benefit their schooling. It's gonna benefit how they see their life. So
Speaker 2:So why why would a kid not feel welcome at home?
Speaker 3:Man, I think about my story. I mean, I never knew what I was coming home to. Mhmm. So that caused some anxiety. I could be at school thinking like, man, am I gonna come home to my mama passed out, you know, from drinking, or am I gonna come home to a house full of weed smoke or a house full of loud music while I get some sleep tonight?
Speaker 3:You know? So when I say feeling welcome, just parents being intentional. You know? So, yeah, I would I would say that. Just not feeling welcomed in that way.
Speaker 2:What about the community that you that you grew up in? Because it it sounds like you were saying that mom was like everybody knew your mom wasn't messing around. Mhmm. And Yeah. Darius wasn't gonna be out doing nothing, not hanging out with the crowd.
Speaker 2:Right. Stuff like that. So Yeah. Did you feel like that was isolating too in your in your experience of the the overprotection as well as the instability?
Speaker 3:Yeah. That's a good question, man. Well, she was raising me on her own, you know, single parent. You know, once again, my dad was around, but, you know, my mom raised me. You know?
Speaker 3:So it was it was lonely, and I look back. Honestly, loneliness isn't isn't necessarily a bad thing because I look back and see why God allowed that because it because it allowed me to be who I am today. You look at Jesus, he was alone. You know, he he went away by himself, and I look back on that and I can see, like, there was some good in there and some bad in that. So I think God used all that for the good of his purpose in my life.
Speaker 3:So but, yeah, I will come home at the games, and my mom will be gone, you know, out with our friends, you know, partying, you know. So, yeah, like, there was some neglect there that I went through. But then again, I saw God's hand on my life, you know, guiding me and leading me.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to think about how a kid responds to that. Like, were you able to communicate how that made you feel?
Speaker 3:Not at all. Not at all. But I knew something was off, you know, during during the games or after the games, I would see parents with their you know, with one of my teammates. And I didn't know how to communicate it, but I knew something was off. I knew something was weird, and I would ask, hey, mom.
Speaker 3:Are you coming to my game? You know, out of out of hope. But eventually, as you get older, you know, into high school, then you'll begin to kinda, you know, see see through things and, you know, kinda see why. But as a middle schooler, now high schooler probably. So
Speaker 2:Man. And so when you're when you're in high school, you know what to expect. Mhmm. Your normal becomes the normal. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Yep. I was just gonna say that it was it was normal to me and a lot of my friends. You know, believe it or not, like, a lot of mentors can look at a kid and think like, oh, like, I feel bad for him. But to that kid, it's like, I'm good. You know, like like to them it's it's it's normal and they don't they don't feel affected by it.
Speaker 3:And once they get older, they can look back like, oh, oh, oh, okay then. Like, I was neglected or but by having the outlet of those positive environments really helped out a lot. So
Speaker 2:Yeah. It's good, man. So what what was different about your high school experience and your elementary experience? Because it sounds like when you got older, you came to Jesus. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Like, was your mom taking you to church?
Speaker 3:So my so my mom did not go to church. I was invited to church by my grandmama, Dorothy Chapman. She told me to stay in church before she passed. So I always had that in the back of my head. And I just I always felt like church was the right place to be.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I can't really explain it. I just felt like being in church, and that was the holy spirit, of course. Yeah. I just felt like, man, church, like, gave me interest.
Speaker 3:Like, I I just, you know, felt like, man, I wanna learn about God and yeah. So in 2,004, me and my mom was in a f four tornado. So What? I remember we went to sleep, and they told us that it was one coming, but I didn't believe it. I mean, I thought, like, all the stuff you see on TV, you know.
Speaker 3:So I recall my mom coming up the steps, and I woke up to windows bus and just and I had, like, glass all over me. And my mom pulled me in the corner, and she said, God, if it's your will, let me and my son live. And the wind slowly died down. And I remember we had walked outside and across the street was a lady and her and her baby dead, and I was 10, 10 or 11. So that was like, oh, God real.
Speaker 3:Like, that was my God is real moment, and that kinda spooked me out a little bit, but that was kinda like my introduction to God and prayer is powerful. So yeah, man. So that kinda made me wanna wanted to learn more about God.
Speaker 2:What?
Speaker 3:Crazy.
Speaker 2:And so and so that, I mean, surviving a f 4 tornado, and then you got grandma Chapman Mhmm. Speaking into your life. Mhmm. When did she pass away? When you were younger?
Speaker 2:Or
Speaker 3:She passed away around that time. Okay. Yeah. Around that time. So I think ages 10 to 13 was was very vital in my life as far as God revealing himself to me.
Speaker 3:My dad's side of the family, all believers, full of the holy spirit. My aunties, just state, they love Jesus. On my mom's side, they don't really know Jesus. So yep.
Speaker 2:And so as a as a kid because I you mentioned feeling like the church is where I'm supposed to be. Mhmm. Do you feel like other kids had that same kind of feeling? Or because I I feel like there's 2 things. There's, like, somebody who's really active in the church, and there's somebody who's like, that's not for me.
Speaker 3:No. I man, I was I was just different, man. Like, I tell my wife my story, and she was like, how? You know, I I I was just different. Well, I just felt different, and it was just god.
Speaker 3:I mean, Jesus at age 12, like, I gotta be in my father's house. Like, I just feel like I have to be here, and that was kind of the, you know, the the thought process I had. Like, I just feel like I should be here. It just got holy spirit, man.
Speaker 2:Now, I mean, in your experience, was there was there ever anybody around you that was doing that similarly, like, that had that same experience?
Speaker 3:Not until high school. 1 of my best friends, Mike, who was a atheist and I saw God transform his life, so we became close. But middle school and before that, no. High school, yes.
Speaker 2:Okay. So tell me tell me about father figures, mentors in high school. What are those what are those guys look like? Share me any any stories that you have from men investing in your life, teaching you how to be a man of God.
Speaker 3:Yeah. My mentor, Steven. I know we talked a little bit about it, but he was he was somebody who I saw, like, oh, he's different. And he he's not like other men his age, and he was a college athlete. And, yeah, I just felt like he was living for something bigger than himself, which kinda drew me into wanting to hang around him.
Speaker 3:So I just thank god for him. And as as many others, but we were close closer than, than the other mentors in my life. So yeah.
Speaker 2:And what what would he do, like, on a practical level? Mhmm. You're you're talking about not asking your mom to come to your games anymore because you know she's not gonna come. Yeah. What is Steven doing?
Speaker 3:He showed up. Simply put, he he showed up to the games. He was there, and he was a face that we knew that was gonna be consistent. So, I mean, I think for every mentor listening, like, this is important. Show up consistently.
Speaker 3:I think that speaks a lot. That that earns trust way faster than you buying them a meal or you invited them over to play PlayStation or whatever. Just showing up and being present being a presence. Don't don't even have to say anything. Just show up and and allow them to see you showing up to the games, to practices.
Speaker 2:So was he, like, screaming in the in the stands,
Speaker 3:like Nah.
Speaker 2:Nah. Pulling out shakers and stuff? Darius, let's go.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So so it was me and I say about 7 other guys who he was investing in. So we all played ball. So, yeah, we hung out, man. Yeah.
Speaker 3:He he showed up, invited us to his parents' house. We got to see his life. We got to see what what was his life like outside of him showing up and, you know, being in in Young Life and things like that. So
Speaker 2:And for listeners that don't know what Young Life is, can you kinda explain?
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Yeah. So Young Life is a it's a global ministry. It's all over. Simply put, I mean, they invest into people.
Speaker 3:They build relationships with people to help them grow in their faith. They meet kids on their turf. It's it's it's many young lives. There's young lives for teen moms. There's a high school young life.
Speaker 3:There's wild life middle school. They have a Young Life, what do you call it, for military kids. They have a Young Life for kids with disabilities. So they reach a a wide variety of adolescents. There's Young Life College as well.
Speaker 3:So yeah, it was started in Texas, actually. John Rayburn, he was just trying to figure out why kids wasn't coming to church, and he wanted to create something that was engaging. And that's how Young Life started in the forties.
Speaker 2:So It's awesome, man. So Darius as high school student, rising football player, tell me about your prospects. Man What were you thinking about at that time? Was football everything? Man,
Speaker 3:what's what's crazy is that I didn't even like football until I've seen all my friends playing it, and I was like, I wanna I wanna do that. And I started in 8th grade, middle school, tried out, made the team, played defense, but I got to high school and I became a quarterback. Oh, you were QB. Yeah. What a what a jump.
Speaker 3:You know, so yeah. So I was quarterback and played quarterback all 4 years, play receiver my last 5 games because I broke my wrist my junior year. So
Speaker 2:So you were still catching?
Speaker 3:So with this story, it's it's crazy, man. So I have fractured my wrist my junior year. So so during this time, I would say I was still kinda lost. My my view of God was off. I went to God when I needed something.
Speaker 3:We didn't have a relationship.
Speaker 2:Just when a tornado comes up and you're like Yeah. Help me God.
Speaker 3:Right. Right. So I remember I had prayed to God. I said this is this is crazy. I live back and I laugh, and I'm like, wow.
Speaker 3:I prayed to God. I said, God, if I score 5 touchdowns, next game, I go to church 5 months straight. And then next game, I fractured my wrist because we have some scouts coming in. So I was trying to, you know, make sure I gave them what they was looking for, and I fractured my wrist. But I didn't know it until the game was over with, and it was a humbling moment in my life.
Speaker 3:But but my biggest prospect was Murray State. I was supposed to sign with them.
Speaker 2:Let's go, Murray State.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And my ACT score wasn't high enough, so
Speaker 2:they Oh, man.
Speaker 3:They couldn't sign me on signing day.
Speaker 2:My bad. That wasn't me. I know that's my family, Murray State, but but yeah. Well, you'd you'd kinda mentioned in the beginning that you kinda had some idolatry issues. And Mhmm.
Speaker 2:I know you write a you wrote a book about your experience. Wondering if you could tell tell us about that.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So, I wrote a book called, called Sports Was A God, AKA SWAG for short, and it stands for I just say the sports was a God. My bad. And, yeah, it just tells him my story as an athlete, as a young man coming up searching for himself, and every high school, middle school kid is trying to figure out who am I. And you can try to find yourself through gangs or through the cool crowd, and I tried to find myself through sports.
Speaker 3:I felt valuable. I felt noticed. I felt significant. And I remember my last high school football game, I cried because I felt like sports failed me. I just like, I I realized that, man, who am I apart from sports?
Speaker 3:I don't know who I am apart from sports, and they led me to search for myself through God and was able to see that all of my needs are met in him.
Speaker 2:You said you said that sports made you feel valuable Mhmm. Noticed, Significant. Mhmm. And I would say that every boy needs to feel those things.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:And is probably spending their life trying to get them. Mhmm. But sports isn't enough.
Speaker 3:Not enough.
Speaker 2:And and may mainly, it's relationships, like, that we receive those things in. But even even just your relationship with God, like Mhmm. I'm thinking, man, everybody needs to see that God speaks value, that he notices you Mhmm. And that he gives you a purpose and a significance
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:In being here.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And yeah. I mean, that's just it's powerful how in a way, your relationships you had a deficit, and so then you put sports in this place to fill that gap. Mhmm. But it it never satisfied.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yep. That's why that's why Tom Brady can't retire.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow. Are are you I mean, where are you at on the whole deflategate situation?
Speaker 3:Man. Years ago with the Patriots. You're talking about, deflation with the foot. Yeah. It's crazy.
Speaker 2:Oh, man. That's funny. I mean, tell tell me what's next for Darius Person after you you kind of figure out sports isn't enough Mhmm. As not meeting the need. Where did you go next?
Speaker 3:I had my eyes opened up. 1st guy had to reveal it to me. My mentor, he told me that sports wasn't everything, and it made me question myself. And well, it made me question him and say
Speaker 2:Was he athletic? Was Steven athletic?
Speaker 3:Yeah. He was athlete.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:And it like, it made me say
Speaker 2:It's one thing to hear that from me, Where it's like, hey, man. Sports isn't everything. I'm over here eating fried chicken sandwich.
Speaker 3:Yeah. When he said that, it it made me ask myself what makes him say that. Like like, he must know something more important. And during that time, I didn't, like, I didn't, like, like articulate that, but when I look back that's what I thought. I was like, like, what do you mean?
Speaker 3:And, yeah, like, it it made me just just search even more for God and just, you know, find myself in him, and and and I began to feel fulfilled, and I began to feel satisfied. It was all fresh, you know, fresh to me. And, you know, when you first get saved and everything is fresh and new, and I realized, like, oh, like, this is what it's all about. Like, I am made to glorify god, not glorify Darius person, and, you know, not glorify the creation more than the creator. So I realized the guy wanted to be in the center of my life.
Speaker 3:Everything should, you know, revolve around him. You know, many people say, I put god first, family second, job third, sports 4th, my dog's Sparky 5th. But it should be, you know, God in family, God in sports, God in job, God in school. Like, God wants to be involved. Like
Speaker 2:In all of it.
Speaker 3:In all of it. Like, you could That's pretty good. You wouldn't be a good father if you told Ben, like, hey, Ben. I wanna come to your ball games, but not your
Speaker 2:I got a quiet time.
Speaker 3:I wanna I wanna come to your ball games, not your school play. So let me know when you got a a ball game. Like, you you wouldn't be a good father. Mhmm. So, yeah, God wants to be included and kinda reminds me of the verse in Ecclesiastes when Solomon said apart from him, who can who can enjoy anything apart from God?
Speaker 3:I'm big on analogies, and it's like when you get a meal and it's like the it's like the steak is the main portion, and you have some sides. Right? No offense to vegetarians out there, but, like, if you just ate the sides, you know, you would like, you're missing the main portion, like, like, you're missing the the meat, the bread, and and the stuff in life is just sides, man. You know, sports are sides. Like, it's it's things that God has created to enjoy along with him.
Speaker 3:Yeah. You know, but I think sometimes we wanna exclude God, you know, and just take the sides. And the sides can be sports. It can be whatever it is, and it's not enjoyable because you're not enjoying it with God.
Speaker 2:So Yeah.
Speaker 3:That's good news. Preaching on here, man.
Speaker 2:I've never heard someone say what what you said about it's not just about prioritizing God. It's about him being in everything.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I I mean, I think that's so true. Mhmm. And I think the desire for well, I guess, kids probably would don't understand that.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because it seems like churches over there, youth ministry is on Wednesday night, but then the rest of my life Mhmm. I'm doing my thing. I'm doing what I enjoy. And I'll fit that in, and I'll prioritize it, but it's not necessarily a vision that's being cast of how can I include God Yeah? While I'm walking Sparky.
Speaker 2:Yep. Is that a actual dog? I don't know. But but just it's God and Yeah. It's not it's not a god first.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Though god comes first, he comes first in everything, not just Yeah. So you can get to the other stuff.
Speaker 3:Many people aren't they're they're not they're not including god in their dog's life, you know. So that's why they don't understand their dog because they don't they're not involving God, and God created their dog.
Speaker 2:That's too that's too deep. Too deep. Too deep. I'm a go look at Sadie in my in the face and just pray, have contemplative prayer looking in her eyes, see what happens. Sadie's my boxer, by the way.
Speaker 2:I do have a dog.
Speaker 3:Shout out Sadie.
Speaker 2:So so fast forward to when you start working for Young Life. Tell me about that experience. So you go from being mentored by Mhmm. A Young Life volunteer to then taking a job working with Young Life
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:To essentially do what Steven did. Mhmm. Tell kids to stop trying to get into Murray State. I'm just kidding. But
Speaker 3:Man. Tell me about it. I saw my high school reflection.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. And You saw yourself in the kids.
Speaker 3:Yes. Man, it's it's crazy. I think about Antrell who played football. And one day I saw Antrell, he was at the end of the field by himself, and he was pounding and, you know, doing a fit. And, I was I was coaching as well.
Speaker 3:I was coaching, the receivers and Antrell play linebacker. And I walked out to him, and I was expecting Antrell to give me his spill on why why he should be starting that week and because he made a bad play last game and coach yeah. I took him out and Antrell got a spot took, and he looked at me and said, coach, football is all I got. And I was like, I'm looking at myself right now. And, yeah, like, that's that's the hope that a lot of these kids have is football is all I got, basketball is all I got, and it's like, it's not true.
Speaker 3:And I wanted to help Antrell see his identity in God, but he moved away, you know. So that also inspired me to write the book as well, you know, to be able to put a resource in in young athletes' hands to show them that, hey, sports isn't everything. You know? There's a God who loves you who can meet those needs that you feel like I only come through success or achievement in your sport endeavors. So but I but I understood where it was coming from.
Speaker 3:But, man, just like, man, I got the answer, man. I got the answer. Just just stick around. But even in that, man, just trust in god with that. So
Speaker 2:Just hearing a kid say football's all I got. And, like, that being really real to him.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:Like, he he lives in the reality of this is my shot. Mhmm. To be to be something, to be seen, to for someone to acknowledge him.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And just how desperate like a kid a kid can become if if they have to earn that significance or earn that value. Yep. And they find one place that they feel like they're gonna earn it. And if they don't, then then it's on them. Like, that's that's really challenging because we don't earn our place before God.
Speaker 2:We don't earn our significance or our value. Mhmm. We've been purchased.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:As we are. Yep. And, I just yeah. It just makes me I wonder how many kids at the high school
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:Right down the road.
Speaker 3:There's a lot of entry out there. I guarantee it. Yeah. I guarantee it. Because I know in Texas, football is a big deal, and there's a lot of them out there.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:So so tell me I mean, walking through the school, seeing kids that I mean, you're just seeing a reflection of yourself. How what was the best way of building relationships in your opinion? I mean, you're just walking up into the school meeting kids. Mhmm. And you said you were coaching.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Yeah. What did that look like?
Speaker 3:Man, the first thing, and I think this is a a tip for our mentors, is just learn names learn names and pray over those names. I think that's that's important because somebody's name is their value, like, they value their name, and that was my first step as I walked in the cafeteria. Just say, what's up, man? What's your name? And that's when it started.
Speaker 3:So when I went so when I went back to the school the next day, hey, what's up, Antonio? And a lot of these kids don't get called by name, they get called by other stuff, you know, they get called, oh, you're stupid or you don't matter or are you just like your daddy? I just out of here at home, but to have somebody call you by your name and do it mean it in a genuine way that earns trust, you know?
Speaker 2:So Or if their name's being called, it's being called in a in an aggressive or disciplinary tone
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And not like a, I'm happy to see you.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Antonio. Yeah. Get over here.
Speaker 3:Did I
Speaker 2:tell you to clean your aroma? Or the or or, I mean, the coach. Like, I mean, coaches coaches know your name because they're trying to get you to do something.
Speaker 3:Coaches call you by your last name. Brown. Smith. What are you doing?
Speaker 2:But, I mean, did was that the same thing for you as a coach? Like because I I know, obviously, coaches know your name because they're trying to get your attention, trying to Mhmm. Coach you, like, send you in a different direction, but you kinda focus on names. Like, was that any different for you as a coach?
Speaker 3:Well, one thing with me was that I knew going in that sports is gonna be my entryway into being kids. So I wasn't really, like, excited about coaching. I was just kinda like Paul. Like, I'm a make myself a slave to reach many.
Speaker 2:This is your tent making. Yes. You're making wide receivers. This is your tent making.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So, like, I'm not a vocal coach. I'm not yelling. I'm not well, I just just not my character. It's not my personality.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, they didn't they didn't know me as the coach who would yell out to, you know, to, you know, curse and then like that. So, yeah, I was just a positive influence representing Jesus. Yeah. I wasn't there to try to win a state championship. I was there to earn earn trust with kids to get them to Young Life Club and to the face of Jesus.
Speaker 3:So
Speaker 2:That's good, man.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:So in terms of, like, the like, a lot of our mentors are 1 to 1 mentors. Mhmm. Have you seen it or had any experience with watching just that individual approach of, like, investing in 1 kid Mhmm. Be be, like, impactful?
Speaker 3:Yes. When you get a kid by himself, man, you see a different kid. When you see a kid or a teenager in the midst of the crowd of the people, you see a different person. But when you get them by themselves and you ask them questions, yeah, you see a different person. Well, you'll be shocked by how much you may have in common.
Speaker 3:You'll be shocked by how they're putting on a front that's not who they truly are. I love I love how forerunner have those 1 on 1 mentoring relationships because you can hide in the crowd, but 1 on 1 is very impactful. So
Speaker 2:Yeah. So in the in the same way that looking at these students, you're seeing your experience from growing up, You're seeing it in a different light because I I'm assuming it's just interesting to look back at what your life was like before Jesus, before you had an investment. And so you you're seeing that you're walking into this. I'm the Steven for the Darius Mhmm. That was looking for value, significance, worth, all of these things.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:What what else did you see at the high school? What challenges were the kids facing that
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That maybe were different than what you experienced, but but you had to learn how to relate with and understand? And what did it look like to meet kids where they were at?
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Yeah. So I actually grew up similar to the Manassas is one of the top 3rd poorest ZIP codes in the US. So it's it's it's impoverished, so a lot of kids don't have a lot of resources. It's, a lot of gang activity, so you meet a lot of kids in gangs, but the teen pregnancy rate is through the roof as well.
Speaker 3:And you have those kids who have both parents in the home, so it's like a mixture of everything. The ratio towards that is low, of course, but, yeah, like, I saw myself in many of them and I also saw my peers in many of them as well.
Speaker 2:And I I haven't seen the documentary about Manassas high school football program Mhmm. But I need to watch it.
Speaker 3:Yep. It's called undefeated. Undefeated. I think it released in 09. Puff Daddy had bought the rights to it.
Speaker 3:Puff Daddy? Yeah. P. Diddy. So yeah.
Speaker 3:But I actually, coached under the coach. I coached under the assistant coach on the documentary, and he was just kinda telling the story of how, like, they used the football team, you know, in a sense of, oh, like, we're gonna get rich off these kids. Yeah. But from the outside looking in, it looks like, oh, like, these kids are in a documentary.
Speaker 2:Oh, we're helping them out. We're making this film, but you you felt like it was using them.
Speaker 3:Yep. So and that's a tip for mentors is, like, having a right agenda, you know, as you reach these kids because a lot of them have a have a wall up, have like, they have they have a guard up, you know, because of things like that, you know, like, I don't trust you, You know? So I wanna say they gave him, like, $50,000 or something like that, but this documentary, like, won an Emmy or something like that. So yeah. Don't quote me on it, but I thought they should've gotten a big chunk of change, you know, for it to get that much, you know, you know, publicity as it did.
Speaker 2:Well, it's interesting. And, I mean, I think part of that even maybe gets to, like, you you mentioned mentors who are in it for the wrong intention. Mhmm. What are some of the wrong intentions of mentoring? Do you feel like it's kind of, like, glorifying the the rags to riches story, or I'm gonna I'm gonna turn this kid from a gang into a, I don't know, like, a a business owner?
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Like, that's my goal.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah, man. Like, here's what I realized, and and my mentor, he told me this when I came to Manassas. He said, God is already at work. I think we when we when we go on these mission trips overseas, like, yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm I'm gonna tell you Jesus over there. He's already there. God is already in this kid's life. It might not be to the extent of this kid knowing the bible or you know, but I believe that God is already at work. Like, that's that's that's my thought process.
Speaker 3:It's like, God is already here. God is already doing something at Lake Highlands. He's already at work. He's just involving me. God don't need me.
Speaker 3:I think a lot of mentors always think like, oh, these kids need me. You know? What what would these kids do without me? Now, like, it's kind of some truth to that, but God doesn't need us. God can send someone else.
Speaker 3:You know, God can use anybody. God can speak to these kids in a dream and, hey, I'm God. You know? Mhmm. Like, if he want to, but he chooses to involve us.
Speaker 3:And I think that we have to be humble and have to be open. I think we also have to hold them loosely as well because when you hold things tightly, you can, you know, grip it and you can stifle it and and suffocate it. But when you hold it loosely, you allow them to be in God's hands. Like, God, what do you want with this kid? Yeah.
Speaker 3:So just having those pure motives is is important as you hop in a mental relationship Yep. With the kid.
Speaker 2:Now can you speak to the community aspect of mentoring boys, and what what has been your experience in seeing people engage kids at the high school? Because it sounds like you have your team of guys that you're investing in as a coach. Mhmm. You have the kids that you're meeting. I wanna get a gauge for, like, the needs that you've seen or the places a community could invest?
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Because I I mean, most of our mentors probably aren't going to the school. They're not meeting new kids. They're getting connected through an organization. But I I wonder if you have any thoughts about what does the community investment look like in a in a high school for the kids that are growing up in a single parent home, are growing up with just economic challenges and relational challenges, spiritual, like, gaps Mhmm.
Speaker 2:All of those things. I don't know if you've recognized anything.
Speaker 3:For the community as in for an example, like, Highlands community getting involved with the high school?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Or or, like, at Manassas. Is Young Life the only group that's just, like, hanging out at the high school, meeting kids?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like, when you're at when you're at the football game, are parents there to see their kid and only their kid, or are parents there to support the team and, like Mhmm. Other kids? Like, are is there a connection? Mhmm. Because I've always thought about that.
Speaker 2:Like, everybody shows up to the game to watch their kid.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And how many kids are there with nobody to watch them?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. Like, of course, my story. My mom was in the in the stands, in the crowd. I would just say just being intentional and being aware is important.
Speaker 3:Just taking advantage of those opportunities, you know, to step in and be to that kid what what somebody else isn't isn't being. Yeah. Just showing up and being intentional. Yeah. I I would say.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because I I think that puts a well, I don't wanna put a weight or a burden upon our mentors, but I think that that that should make us passionate about our job to show up Mhmm. Is the idea that if I'm not showing up, who's showing up Yep. For my kid. And that provokes something in me to engage and see my community in a different light. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:And just thinking about that, the verse where Jesus said, if you feed the homeless, you fed me. And what he what he means by that is is that, hey. They belong to me. I created them. So if someone feeds your son, Ben, they are feeding you because he's a part of you, like, he's a part of your family.
Speaker 3:And when you're serving these kids, man, like, you're you're you're serving Jesus
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:And you're serving God. And yeah. That's that's also, you know, part of having a pure heart is, I'm serving God. I'm not doing this for self gain. I'm doing this because this glorifies God.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:And Akia sees God through me. Akia feels God's love through me. So
Speaker 2:Can can you share about your relationship with the parents of the kids that you were mentoring? Mhmm. What did those look like? Do you have any stories?
Speaker 3:Yeah. So I think about RJ, one of my guys back in Memphis, and he his mom was involved in his life and his stepdad, and she was just open to young life. She was open to me mentoring him, and, you know, like, she was just all for it, and she was involved. But you also have those parents who are not involved, and they just whatever. Are are you going to Young Life Club?
Speaker 3:Oh, okay. And you have parents who who are so far removed from the kid's life that they're they don't really know what young life is. Like, they just see their kids coming in and out the door. And as a as a leader, sometimes dealing with parents can be intimidating in a sense because you're like, I wanna do I wanna do they like me? I wanna are they, open to 4 runner or whatever it is, but it's just a a wide variety.
Speaker 3:But I've never had no parent, like, you know, call me and, you know, curse me out or nothing like that. I think a lot of parents are open, you know, to seeing their kids be invested in.
Speaker 2:And that's something I think of as, like, maybe maybe a mentor is the first time a parent is seeing someone take interest in their kid
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And love them unconditionally and show up for them. And that's gotta provoke something within a parent to see that.
Speaker 3:Yep. For a lot of them, it's a relief of, oh, like, I'm usually the one feeding him or her. I'm I'm usually the one that's, you know, trying to provide and but I got I got some help, and a lot of parents are grateful for that. Yeah. So Which
Speaker 2:I I try to get myself in the mindset of thinking about really every parent, like, naturally cares for their kid. Their actions may show a different something different than that Mhmm. Because of distractions of life, the challenges of raising kids, and and trying to provide for them. Like you said, you said, I was always provided for. Like, there was always food on the table, but my emotional needs were going unmet.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. And I I think when a parent has the support of a mentor Mhmm. Particularly a single parent, how huge that is Yeah. To know that someone cares about your kid Mhmm. And wants to wants to shore them up and meet their needs.
Speaker 2:Like, that's huge.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Man, that's that is huge. And you mentioned what was my experience with parents? One experience that I saw is one of my guys named LaDavion, aka Mooney. A lot of kids who come up in poverty, a lot of parents see their success as a threat because parents who can't keep on the lights want their kids to work to help keep on the lights.
Speaker 3:So when LaDavion was talking to me when I was talking to him about college, he didn't you know, he was like, my mom won't sign the papers because she needs help at home, and I don't know what to do with it. Like like, this kid has so much potential. I don't know what what to do. So some experiences, you just are clueless, you know. So So you're
Speaker 2:saying he he needs to help out at the house and can't go pursue further education because that would prevent him from meeting kinda, like, the daily needs or Mhmm. Like, making rent.
Speaker 3:Yep. If you
Speaker 2:go to school, I can't make rent. I need you to work a part time job Mhmm. And help Yep.
Speaker 3:It's great.
Speaker 2:Keep what's normal, normal.
Speaker 3:Yep. Wow. So that's that's one thing you have to be aware of and intentional about. And that was that was probably one of the most frustrating times and, you know, with my experience in ministry because I can't go to the parent, like, what are you doing? Like, what are you doing?
Speaker 3:Like, what do you mean? You know? Or, like, there's selfish of you to but I'm not the parent. So Yeah. All I can do is pray.
Speaker 3:So
Speaker 2:Which I'm I'm sure we have a listener or even myself where you're thinking, how does generational poverty Yep. Exist? And, like, why does it subsist in our culture? Mhmm. And that's a very practical reason that it would.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Is that So
Speaker 3:you kinda assume that a kid don't care about school. You kinda assume that a kid is lazy. That's part of the reason why he don't wanna go to college because he was told if you don't help out around here, you gotta go. So what is it gonna be? And this kid has this battle with loyalty with mom or my dreams, so that's tough.
Speaker 2:With life change or maintaining the way things are?
Speaker 3:Yep. And you gotta you gotta check out a book called, hurt 2.0 by, Chap Clark. Just talks about those different scenarios and, you know, why teens act the way they do. And it just gives you, you know, input and different point of views or why and it and it just makes you see the team world way different. So
Speaker 2:Hurt 2 point o. Mhmm. Alright. I'll put that in the show notes. Darius, this has been a fun conversation.
Speaker 2:Do you have any other practical encouragements from your experience working at Manassas or anything that would help mentors who are mentoring kids in high school?
Speaker 3:Man, I would just say, first off, just thank you all so much for all that you do. God sees everything. Nothing that you do goes unnoticed. I know times it can get discouraging, but I'm I'm I'm grateful for the success stories that I do have. Find those success stories and hang on to them and, praise God for them and just just keep showing up.
Speaker 3:Amen. Amen.
Speaker 2:Darius Person, thank you so much for being on the podcast. This will not be the last time you hear Darius's voice, because like I said, best podcast voice ever.
Speaker 3:Appreciate that, man. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2:Thanks for listening to the You Can Mentor podcast. I hope you found something encouraging today in your mentoring world. I I just ask that you'd share this if you found it to be helpful. Just text it to somebody. You can click the share button wherever you're at, maybe on your phone or your computer or your tabular device.
Speaker 2:Tabular device. That's that doesn't exist. Just thank you so much for your support. We wanna encourage mentors across the country to recognize the power of building relationships with kids in our community. And so, would you consider becoming a mentor?
Speaker 2:Let us know. We'd love to connect you with a a like minded faith based mentoring organization in your area. Reach out to us. Find us on our website, you can mentor.com. And if there's one thing you picked up from today's episode, let it be this, you can mentor.