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An extension of the ministry of Stone Oak Bible Church. Stone Oak Bible Church is located in North Central San Antonio, TX. We would love to have you join us.
Welcome to the Stone Oak Bible Church pod. This is an extension of Stone Oak Bible Church in San Antonio, Texas. I'm Craig, and I'm joined here today by Monica. Hi, Monica.
Monica:Hi.
Craig:Monica, welcome to the podcast. First, this is your first time hopping on with us. Yep. Give us an introduction. Who are you?
Craig:How long have been at Stone Oak? Tell us about your family. Where are you originally from? Give us the details. Okay.
Monica:Yeah. So I'm Monica. Hi.
Craig:Hi, Monica.
Monica:I have been here in Texas, I think going on four years now, specifically at Stone Oak Bible Church for about three years, I would say. Man, has it been that long? It seems, yeah, I think so.
Craig:Is that a good thing or a No, bad
Monica:it's Okay. Just seems like, Oh man, we just moved here, but we didn't. Yeah. But yeah, so I am originally from California. No, I take that back.
Monica:I am born a Texan.
Craig:Okay.
Monica:So I am from Lubbock, Texas. That is where I'm born.
Craig:The Dust Bowl?
Monica:Mhmm, yes. And so that's where I was born and kind of raised through elementary school. Junior high, you guys would call it middle school. Yes. That is when we moved to California.
Craig:Okay.
Monica:So my parents and my two older siblings, they're Californians. Me and my younger brother, we're Texas.
Craig:Okay.
Monica:Okay. But I don't claim to be a Texan.
Craig:Why is I'm
Monica:shock because I feel like I grew
Craig:up
Monica:my formative The
Craig:important years to to the ages. Yeah.
Monica:The things that I really remember, even though I have bad memory. But that is Californian. Okay. And plus my parents are Californians, so it kind of Yeah. I was raised with California.
Monica:Okay. But all my siblings are back here, which is why we moved back here. Because we have My husband and I, Ryan, we have two kids.
Craig:Okay.
Monica:Simon is a fifth grader.
Craig:Okay.
Monica:And Matilda is a first grader.
Craig:How long have you guys been married for?
Monica:Yeah, so we've been married, oh my goodness. I don't even know.
Craig:Okay.
Monica:Fourteen years?
Craig:All right.
Monica:I think we're going on fourteen years. May 4. Oh my goodness. I think it's
Craig:May 4?
Monica:May
Craig:the Who's the Star Wars nerd in your family that decided May 4?
Monica:That actually wasn't planned.
Craig:Okay.
Monica:Although Ryan really does. I mean, he's not
Craig:a It wasn't planned, star Wars but it's like,
Monica:Oh, it happened to fall on May 4. Cool. Okay. Ryan does know Star Wars stuff, but I wouldn't say he's a Star Wars nerd. Okay.
Monica:No. We don't have Star Wars posters and
Craig:boxes have no of Star Wars memorabilia. Do you have a lightsaber someplace in the house?
Monica:No, no. He's not that kind of Star Wars person, which there's nothing wrong with that. That's cool. But he's not that. He doesn't have that.
Monica:But it worked out because for our save the date, it was May 4. And there's that real iconic photo of Princess Leia and what's his face,
Craig:hairs What's and his
Monica:name? And Ryan, the graphic designer, of course, put our faces
Craig:Well done. Into
Monica:And that was our save the date. So it seemed like we're that kind of Star Wars fan, even though we're not. But it was fun, anyway.
Craig:You've at Stone Oak now for
Monica:Stone Oak now for maybe three years. Okay. And I've been on staff for, I don't know, a year now, maybe more than a year.
Craig:Yeah, I feel like it's been a little more.
Monica:Yeah, I think it's been a little more than a year. But yeah, so I am the serve team director.
Craig:Okay.
Monica:And yeah, that's
Craig:not What does that actually mean? You gave us the title. What does it mean to be the serve team director?
Monica:Yeah, okay. Apart from business y, office y side of it, where I'm like, Oh, I'm putting people into a schedule.
Craig:Scheduling people, yeah.
Monica:That's the boring thing. But the Serve team is a group of people at church who are our main focus. The priority of this team is just to create a place and a feel when people walk into the church of being welcomed and of being seen. And that's kind of what the Serve Team is. So there's a large group of people who are kind of strategically placed throughout the church building.
Monica:And our focus is on seeing people, whether it's people who are regular members or who are coming on a regular basis, or looking for the ones who kind of are a new face that you've not ever introduced yourself to, or you've never seen, or that look kind of like on the fringe and they're kind of like, I don't know what I'm doing here. Excuse me. Those are who we are looking for.
Craig:And
Monica:that's kind of the role of the serve team. Yes, you are there to say like, Hi, welcome. But you're also there just to see people and to make sure that they are seen and known. Because it's always weird when you go to a church that you've never been to and it's like your first or second or even third time and you just feel, not necessarily lost, but you're just kinda standing around awkwardly. That's the worst feeling.
Monica:And because we moved here recently, I had gone through that feeling multiple times at different churches throughout San Antonio when we were kind of trying to hone, find a place that we could call our church home. And so knowing how that felt recently is like, you forget that when you're in the church. You forget those feelings of being awkward and just not knowing what to do or not knowing who to talk to. And you see all these people and they're chatting and they're happy and they're doing all their things, and you're standing there kinda like, What am I doing here? Let's leave.
Monica:Let's turn around and leave because this is uncomfortable. Those are the people that I really am drawn to of saying, No, no, no. We see you and we want you here, and we're glad you're
Craig:here. Anticipated you being Yes, yeah. And you're welcome here.
Monica:Absolutely.
Craig:That's great. This is one of those things where you have a specific team that does this,
Monica:but
Craig:it's really the life of, to be every believer, this, is welcoming to the immigrant, is welcoming towards those that are far from Christ. And so with your specific role and yet with the church as a whole's role, how do you see those two things working together?
Monica:Yeah. Yeah. Oh my goodness. I think that as a disciple of Christ, as someone who follows him and wants their life to reflect his life, everyone who calls Christ their savior, we should be doing this. This should be how we walk through life.
Monica:And not just on a Sunday morning, but wherever we walk, wherever we're going. This should be something that we are doing. And I think that's beautiful because it's like, we are able to do it at church, but this is what it means to go out into our community and love our neighbor, right? Because we are walking to emulate Christ. And I see that a lot.
Monica:In the church, sometimes we can get, with volunteer roles, I think sometimes we can get a little off track in seeing that as a job. I'm here to do a volunteer job.
Craig:Yeah, I'm here to hold this door.
Monica:Yes. And I think that sometimes we need that reminder of what is driving you in that act, in that behavior? Are you being driven because your love for Christ is the one that is pushing you to love others? Or is it, Hey, I'm here. I showed up.
Monica:I'm gonna stand here and I'm gonna just say hi to people because I was put on the schedule. So I really think that it boils to heart posture and intention, heart intention. What is driving me to volunteer? What is driving me to be on the serve team? And I think for me, because I fall into that too.
Monica:I'm like, Oh my goodness, Saturday night saying like, Oh, I forgot. I have to be up to do coffee. Forgot I
Craig:have Very important to role to do coffee on a Sunday
Monica:It is, it is. And then even being like, Oh, and then after coffee, I need to do the welcome table or be in the lobby. And even I fall into the mindset of volunteer job, right?
Craig:Yeah.
Monica:And I feel like if we constantly act in that type of mindset, that is where burnout can really happen. Because then we just get bored or we get tired or we're like, I don't really wanna do this anymore. I'd rather talk to my friends or I'd rather come right at 10:30 instead of having to be there at ten or 09:30 or whatever your time is. And I think that can cause us to be kind of burnt out in that. But I think that when as the church, as the Holy Spirit works in our lives and produces the fruit of the spirit, right?
Monica:That He draws us into a place of wanting to serve, a place of worship in serving. Because it is something like, Lord, you have given me this opportunity. And it's something that I want to do for you to love others. And so as a church, we should. We should, as if you are a follower and a lover of the Lord, this should be something in you.
Monica:And if it's not, pray. Go pray about it and say, Lord, why? What is blocking me from producing that fruit of love? And what is in the way of that? Because that is what we're called to do.
Monica:Love the Lord your God, love your neighbor. And these are our neighbors who are coming in. These are our community who are coming into the church. And the ones that you're going to school with or the ones that you're working alongside, the ones that are living literally right next door to you and across the street, those are who we are called to go out and love. And so, yeah, that's that.
Craig:The aspect of doing compared to being, we can often look at the things that we do as the primary role to where it shouldn't be just the things that I do, but it's who God has made me to be, which then out of that comes the things that I do rather than the things that I do kind of craft and shape me to be, it's who God has created me, and out of that I get to do.
Monica:Right. It's kind of that faith in works, right, idea of like your works aren't what save you, and it's faith alone in Christ. And out of that faith and out of that love for Christ, your works should reflect your faith. Your works aren't gonna save you, but they should reflect the faith And that you have in so absolutely, the being and the doing, the faith and the works, there's an order to them. And if we get a mixed up, then we are falling into the trap of working to save.
Craig:Working to Yeah. So let me hear from you. What's Monica's top five tips of how to be a welcoming individual on a Sunday morning? So this is not just your serve team, but you're speaking to just our church. Church.
Craig:Okay. Give me top top things that you would say in order for us to be a welcoming, hospitable church that that sees people. What would you say we need to do because of who we are?
Monica:Yeah. Okay. Oh, man.
Craig:Put you on the spot here.
Monica:Okay. So
Craig:And might be, here's things that you need to stop doing.
Monica:Yeah, there are some of
Craig:those. Okay.
Monica:Okay. So first of all, I would say pray and ask the Lord to check your heart.
Craig:Yeah.
Monica:Because on a Sunday morning, I can tell you, with my kids, mornings can be hard.
Craig:Oh, absolutely.
Monica:And I could have anger in my heart. No way. It or not. What?
Craig:You ever had those arguments out on your way to church and it's like, Okay, we all have to apologize and forgive each other because we're about to go into No,
Monica:you know what? I grew up Oh, I'm sorry, parents.
Craig:Sorry, mom and dad.
Monica:I grew up very much that yelling and fighting in the car on the And way to then get out of the car and be like, You better smile and put on your best behavior. The thing that you, your example versus what I grew up with was the apologize part. Yeah. Like, we better apologize. We better say you're sorry for how you were treating each other, and now let's go into church.
Monica:Mine was like, Just get out of the car and you better hold my hand. And we better smile and we better go in. I think your example of a forced apology may not be any better than what mine was. But 100%, I would say go to the Lord in prayer.
Craig:Okay.
Monica:And it could be a prayer of Thanksgiving because like, Wow, Lord, thank you for this amazing morning that we've had with no arguing. Yes. Right? And it could be the other way of like, Man, Lord, my heart is ugly right now. So help, Holy Spirit, I ask forgiveness for that, right?
Monica:So I think the first thing that we as believers should do is yes, pray and ask the Lord to check our hearts.
Craig:So this is continual, this is morning of, this is the drive in, this is sitting in the This parking
Monica:is all of it. And even standing in the lobby is part of that because, man, we are humans and we are sinful.
Craig:Yeah, absolutely.
Monica:We can have bad attitudes, right? Yes, yes.
Craig:Especially our kids.
Monica:Especially our kids.
Craig:I don't know where they get it Not from, but
Monica:They were So bored like that's number one.
Craig:Okay.
Monica:Yeah, do that. Check your heart. Ask the Lord to examine your heart.
Craig:Fantastic.
Monica:The second thing I would say is be real. If you walk into church and you have had a hard morning, don't plaster on that smile and be fake and be like, Oh, it's been Yay. Good morning. It's a great Sunday. It's okay to have a hard morning.
Monica:It's okay to be sad and broken inside, right? Because we are going into the presence of God when we walk into church. And He knows this. He's like, Oh Monica, I see your brokenness. And it may not be anger this morning, but it may be heartbreak.
Monica:It may be a time of mourning. It may be a time of joy and just like seeing His beauty and like a time where you are just like, Wow, Lord, I see you in everything that is happening in my life. Whether it's one or the other or somewhere in between, He knows this about us
Craig:Yes, that's what talking
Monica:so don't try to be honest. And the thing with going into the church is one, yes, God knows this about us. Right? But find somebody at church who also could know about this. Right?
Craig:You're not
Monica:saying Community.
Craig:You know, if I'm coming in and it's been a rough morning, not saying just go sit in a chair and sulk alone. Yeah. But you're leaning into that relationship piece of Yeah.
Monica:The community aspect of it, because we are the church.
Craig:Absolutely.
Monica:And we are called to share each other's burdens, and we are called to rejoice with those who are walking through joy and walking through prosperity, but also those who are hurting.
Craig:We have an entire book of the Bible that's lament.
Monica:It's
Craig:the book of Lamentations. Lamentations. It's full of things are not good.
Monica:Yeah, right.
Craig:And the expression of Christianity that we often see is, you know, Christianity means that things are good all the time.
Monica:Right. And that is such a lie.
Craig:Absolutely.
Monica:That and and and, yes. That
Craig:is There's a piece of us coming together that is joy. No doubt about it. When the body is gathered together, it is joyful, yet I can be joyful and inside be sorrowful at the same time.
Monica:Yes. And it's okay. Yeah. And that is like, we are, and I think sometimes we forget that we are created in the image of God, in His likeness. And when you read the Old Testament, when you read through that, you see God's heart broken.
Monica:You see God angry. You see God pleased with His people. And you see emotion from God. And we are created in His likeness, and we are created with emotion. Now, to allow those emotions to control us, that's not great.
Monica:But
Craig:The opposite of just ignoring them is also
Monica:Is not great, right? And there is definitely an aspect of Holy Spirit, you know what is happening. So help me to put my emotions into right perspective and into right order with you being at the top. God is sovereign. He's at the top.
Monica:And when we focus in on that state, we forget that, hey, zoom out. Zoom out and look at the big picture. And also look at who we are under. Are we putting ourselves and our emotion and our circumstances above God? If we are, confess it and pray, and we can put ourselves in.
Monica:The Lord, the Holy Spirit can help us to rearrange and to refocus us on Him and His sovereignty and His control over everything.
Craig:Yeah.
Monica:To, yeah, come in, don't put the mask on, don't put the smile on and be like fake and like, I'm all good. Seek out somebody. And if you don't have community at the church right now, go to an elder, go to a pastor. Like they are like, they're there for you. Find someone on staff that you feel comfortable with.
Monica:If you're a woman and you need prayer and you need to express yourself and have someone listen and pray over you, but you want a woman to do that, Judy. Go to a woman who is in a leadership position. Now that's the thing. It's like, go to someone in leadership. Mhmm.
Monica:Right? Now, I'm not saying only go to them. But if you are wanting a godly advice, godly wisdom, find someone like your pastor, like an elder, who are held accountable to a different standard than just your friend.
Craig:Yeah.
Monica:Because that, it is, it's a different accountability. It's a different, And so I would encourage that. Three Oh my goodness. All right, let me review.
Craig:Yeah, you're good. So first, we're praying.
Monica:Second,
Craig:we're being real. Okay, and third.
Monica:Take Okay, so this doesn't have to do with you anymore.
Craig:Okay.
Monica:Okay? This one has to do with others.
Craig:Okay.
Monica:Take three minutes when you get to church and you put your stuff down, whatever you do.
Craig:Save your seat.
Monica:Save your seat.
Craig:The important part.
Monica:Yeah. Take three minutes to go into the lobby or to look around where in the auditorium area. Take the three minutes to look and to see people and to say, doing that, you may see someone that you're like, That face, I've never seen that person.
Craig:But that's scary.
Monica:Of course it's scary. I don't like meeting new people. Yeah. Okay? I get it.
Monica:And I'm What if I say the wrong thing? Or what if I There's so much in my head that I am running through the laundry list of what ifs. I am the best what if person. Yeah. And my anxiety reflects that.
Monica:Yeah. It's like, I'm good at this and now you have anxiety. But I don't care. I I Be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Okay?
Craig:Why?
Monica:Why? Because because people
Craig:Uh-huh.
Monica:Not you, people matter. Those people matter. Yeah. I might be uncom like, why do we work out? Why does someone work out?
Monica:It is so uncomfortable to work out. Yeah, It hurts. I don't like standing in a static position with 20 pounds in each hand. People see working out and they're like, That's great for your health. That's good for you.
Monica:And they're willing to be uncomfortable for a
Craig:bit. Yeah.
Monica:Be willing to be uncomfortable for someone else. Okay. That's okay to do. Because if we're not willing to do that, then you're missing the opportunity. You're missing the opportunity to love someone else.
Monica:Yeah. And I'm not saying go over there and have a fifteen minute conversation and invite them over to your house. I'm not saying that.
Craig:For some people, If mean that's
Monica:what you do, cool.
Craig:There are some people in our church that that's their jam.
Monica:And that's great. That's great for them. But the thing is, is they're comfortable with that. That is where they're comfortable. Now, what are they uncomfortable with?
Monica:What stretches them? What's gonna stretch them? What's gonna grow them? That's gonna look different for that person. Right?
Craig:Yeah. Give us some help here. Yeah. As individuals that new people are scary. And whenever I go talk to new people, what do I say?
Craig:Yeah. Like, do I talk about sports? Do I talk about the Spurs, the weather? Like, what do I do whenever I talk with new people?
Monica:Yeah. Yeah. So my go to is when I see someone that's unfamiliar to me, and it could be I met them already and they're just unfamiliar still, I always say, You know what? I'm Monica and I don't know if I've met you yet. Yeah.
Monica:But I'm glad you're here. Yeah. And usually they're like, Oh. And most of the time, I'm really good at faces. I'm awful at names.
Monica:Okay. So most of the time I am correct and I've never met that person. And a lot of times I'm like, I'm sorry if I've met you and I don't
Craig:recall Yeah, there's always the case of, We've been here for three years.
Monica:Yes, yeah. But here's the thing, it's like, I'm Monica and I don't think I've met you before. That's okay to say.
Craig:It's not a timing.
Monica:It's not saying like, Oh, is this your first time? And they're like, No, I've been here three years.
Craig:Which makes everybody feel uncomfortable whenever That you ask that
Monica:could be weird. Yes. Because then it's like, Wow, they really care about who's coming in. I've been here so long and they didn't even know. So a lot of times it's like, I'm Monica and I don't know if I've met you.
Monica:And a lot of times that is I think I did it just recently. And I was like, Well, good to see you again. You kinda just have to go with it. What am I gonna do? Oh, well, I can't go back in time.
Monica:And I'm not gonna point out, Well, that was awkward. Don't point it out. Just say, Oh, okay. Well, it's good to see you again then. And then allow yourself to have that moment of inner cringe, but then move on.
Craig:Okay.
Monica:You don't have to stay there. You don't have to stay in the awkward position. I am awkward. I am.
Craig:Have you been told this by others?
Monica:No. Oh, okay. I just feel awkward in myself.
Craig:Okay. So you might not be awkward. You just feel awkward.
Monica:Yeah. Just feel awkward. Yeah.
Craig:I've been told by others that I am awkward.
Monica:Well, you are.
Craig:See? Exactly. There it is again.
Monica:So but that's not bad.
Craig:Oh, thank you.
Monica:It's not a bad thing to be awkward. My husband's kinda weird. Know? He's kinda like
Craig:Sorry, Ryan.
Monica:I love you. But married him. Yeah, It's not too awkward for me. Yeah. But anyway, if new people are scary to you, then okay.
Monica:I get it. And I try to think of my children in this. The things I tell my son, and I'm just like, Yep, welcome to life. This is life and this is what it's like. You just gotta walk through it.
Monica:You just gotta move forward. And if you fumble, if are awkward, it's okay. It's okay. Just keep going. Yeah.
Monica:Keep doing it. Because then you resign yourself to being like, Well, then I can't talk to anybody. I'm just gonna stay here and I'm gonna learn about the Lord and I'm gonna do my own thing here. When it's like, oh, but you're part of the church.
Craig:Yeah.
Monica:You are one of the sheep.
Craig:Yeah.
Monica:So like, you're called also to do these things.
Craig:Yeah.
Monica:And if loving that person that you see in that first three minutes of lobby time is hard for you, okay. But you know who it's not hard for? The Holy Spirit. And if you are a believer, He's in you. So during that moment of prayer, tell Him, Holy Spirit, you know that this is scary for me.
Monica:You know that this is awkward. Give me strength. Help me to see people that you are putting in my path. Right? Help me to see those people because who knows, maybe the Holy Spirit has someone there and it's like, Oh, that was a nice conversation and that wasn't And scary at then what if there's one time where he's like, I'm gonna stretch you.
Monica:And it's like
Craig:I've had those.
Monica:Exactly. So all of what we do as believers stem from prayer and reliance on the spirit.
Craig:Yeah.
Monica:So this is not any different. If new people are scary, if meeting people is scary, if that is, and you're like, Oh man, I'm gonna forget their face. And I'm gonna say, Are you new here? That's okay. But practice, you start to realize and correct, Oh man, that kind of was a messy conversation.
Monica:Next time, I won't say that. And that's learning. This is good. This is good.
Craig:All right, so we're praying. We're being real.
Monica:Praying, be real.
Craig:We're taking about three minutes, which means we're gonna have to be there at least three minutes earlier.
Monica:At least three minutes early.
Craig:And we're gonna look around and see people.
Monica:Yeah, see people. Okay. Just see people.
Craig:Anything else you'd have in your top whatevers?
Monica:Yeah. Don't. Here's a don't one.
Craig:Okay.
Monica:Don't How can I say this?
Craig:I've got a don't.
Monica:You have a don't?
Craig:Oh, yeah.
Monica:Okay. Oh, man. How do It kind of piggybacks off of the sea people. Like, your friends at church
Craig:Uh-huh.
Monica:If you're friends with them and you have a friendship, cool. Have lunch. Yeah. Okay?
Craig:You're pushing against the holy huddles. Yeah. Yeah.
Monica:Spend time with them outside of church. That's cool. And I'm not saying, Hey, you better ignore your friends at church. I'm not saying that at all. Be mindful of that click mentality.
Monica:Yeah. Be mindful of whatever you just said, holy huddles.
Craig:Yeah.
Monica:That's a new one for me.
Craig:It's even how you stand. If you stand and it's a closed circle
Monica:Yeah.
Craig:That says nobody else is invited in. Yeah. If you stand even in discussion with friends and it's more of an open circle that says something different
Monica:It does.
Craig:To others that can join in on conversation?
Monica:Yeah. Yeah. For sure, body Like, body language. Yeah. That's the word I was trying to think.
Monica:Yeah. Does matter.
Craig:Absolutely.
Monica:Your body language is inviting or it is absolutely closed off. Yeah. But yeah, don't do that. Yeah. Don't go to church for solely the social aspect of, I'm here with my friends.
Monica:Yeah. There's a time and place for that.
Craig:Absolutely. Absolutely. The church is full of community, and it's one of the great values of the body of Christ, is that it is a body of believers together,
Monica:commissioned
Craig:to work together.
Monica:Absolutely. And so I am not saying anything against that. What I'm saying is those three minutes, if your friend comes over and is like, Hey, hey, we were hanging out the other day. Let's talk about Politely say, You know what? Let me get back to you.
Monica:Yeah. And even if it's that morning, just be like, Hey, give me five minutes.
Craig:Yeah. Give me my three minutes. Monica told me I need to look around and need to see people.
Monica:Let me have
Craig:three And I haven't done that yet. So let me look around. And if I don't see people
Monica:I'll go back to you.
Craig:We have a conversation.
Monica:Right? Yeah. Because your friends could have valid reason for conversation.
Craig:Well, could even be from what you were saying earlier about being real.
Monica:Absolutely. It could be that I really did have a hard morning or this weekend has been super difficult. And I need to speak with my friend. That is good. Just be mindful of that really short time.
Monica:Because I was reading a study and it said within seven minutes of being on a church campus, whatever it is, the visitor or the newer person, whoever it is, and it may not be their first time, it could be their third time. But within seven minutes, those people have already had a laundry list of judgments.
Craig:They've decided whether it's their last time
Monica:already. Yes. They've already, before they even hear worship, before they even hear the message, before they taste the coffee, they have already made judgments on good, not good.
Craig:We all do it.
Monica:We all do it. And some of it is subconscious. Yep. We are constantly making judgments in our head. We are constantly looking at things and weighing risk.
Monica:And seven minutes is what our brains give us to say, I'll be back or absolutely not.
Craig:I mean, for most of our church, that's driving from the front gate to where we actually meet at, and you're already hitting your seven minutes before you even hop into the lobby.
Monica:Absolutely. Because Archer just like, You gotta go all the way All
Craig:the way around.
Monica:So I should be talking to the gate guy saying, You better be welcoming.
Craig:That'd be the happiest
Monica:wave You better be so excited that those people are coming in there. The guy we have now, he's good. He's like, Thumbs up, waves. And I'm just like,
Craig:Oh, has it always been the case?
Monica:Not always.
Craig:This guy's good.
Monica:Right? This guy, whoever it is.
Craig:All right, I got a dumb Yeah. For Don't solicit. Like, we don't need to sell Jesus to people. Absolutely. And for the other one is we don't need This is both yes we do and no we don't.
Craig:We don't need people's information before we care for people.
Monica:Oh my
Craig:goodness. Like we have our cards.
Monica:A
Craig:100 And our cards are very important. But the reason our cards are very important is because we want to care for people.
Monica:Yes.
Craig:I'm the type that if I'm going to a new facility and you give me something, I'm not filling it out. I'm you, like, walk by somebody and there's like, hey. We're doing a free drawing if you give us your information. Like, no. I don't care about a thirty day cruise.
Craig:Like, no. Thank you. I don't wanna give you my information.
Monica:Right.
Craig:That's my personality.
Monica:Yeah. And
Craig:I think oftentimes we can come across as we're selling you on Jesus or selling you on our church. Mhmm. We're soliciting in in ways to where instead of soliciting, we just need to care for people. And part of that, we would love to reach back out to you. But if the first conversation, I think the first thing that we say is, will you fill this out for us?
Craig:Without that initial relationship, it can be off putting.
Monica:Yeah. You may as well be like the AT and T guy at Costco. Yeah. That's the
Craig:worst one. Right there by the jewelry and the watches and the computers.
Monica:You may as well be that person. You absolutely correct. Rick, our men's ministry leader guy, he always says this one little thing that is his thing. And he's like, People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. And it is so true.
Craig:And shout out to Rick, he's probably the best at getting card information.
Monica:He is.
Craig:Rick, well done if you're listening to this. But way that he's does
Monica:not pushing the card. Now he will tell you, Fill this out. And he will offer you the card and he'll be, Do it now. But that comes from him seeing the person.
Craig:Yeah. What he's usually doing with the card is, Hey, I'd love to grab coffee with you.
Monica:Yes.
Craig:Can you fill this out for me so I can reach back out So can
Monica:reach out to you. Yeah. Yeah. And so it's the relational aspect.
Craig:Yes. It's not Like,
Monica:Hey, I want you to fill this out because I need your information.
Craig:So we can spam your inbox.
Monica:Yeah, yeah. And if you have to say, Well, we're not gonna email you that much. Just take the card back. Don't give them the card. I do tell my surf team, it is okay if they don't fill the card out.
Monica:It is okay if they come to the table and you say like, Hey, can you Sometimes I'm like, Just don't even offer that card right away.
Craig:Give them the coffee mug. Them
Monica:the See if they have kids. Say hi to the kids. Yeah. Engage with the family. Say, how did you find us?
Craig:Yeah.
Monica:Where are you from? Do you live around here?
Craig:New to the area.
Monica:Hey, kid. How old are you? Hey, kid. Like, you know what I mean? Engage the people there.
Monica:Uh-huh.
Craig:Monica, we're very different. You're more extroverted than I am for sure. You walk into a new facility, new church. Let me ask, how how fast are you filling out a connect card?
Monica:Me?
Craig:Yeah. Are you doing first visit? No. Second visit?
Monica:Maybe second. The reason I'm not filling it out right away is I know if I like you. I have not sat through your service yet. And until I do, I'm not gonna fill this out because the thing where they get you, where they churches get you, is with kids. Because you kind of have to put your
Craig:hands Well, on we use it for security.
Monica:Right? Exactly. My children are gonna go away from me into another They need my information.
Craig:Okay.
Monica:But other than that, I'm not filling out a card. It may be it may be the third time, the third Sunday. Yeah. It's like, Because if I come back for another Sunday, you're all I'm already kind of seeing something or hearing something that is like, okay, Lord, I'm gonna I'm gonna come again. Yeah.
Monica:And see how that is. Because sometimes you come and it's like a guest speaker, or you come and it's like, know, and
Craig:You get the B team? You get me preaching. Is that what you're saying, Monica?
Monica:You go in and you get Craig.
Craig:Yeah.
Monica:And you're like, Oh, I don't
Craig:know about don't know
Monica:about that. I don't wanna have a teacher professor. No. But I mean, takes a bit for someone to kind of have a feel of like, what is worship like? What are the messages like?
Monica:Who's
Craig:speaking Are they my kind of weird or not?
Monica:Absolutely. Yeah. Am I fitting in with these weird people, this group of weirdness? And I think that's good. I think that's okay.
Monica:It's okay if you don't fill the card out. But don't badger someone to fill it out. Her
Craig:desire is care, not their information. Yeah. We try and tie the cards to get your information so that we can reach back So out to can care.
Monica:Do you have any
Craig:prayer requests or needs? A good thing.
Monica:And a lot of times, people, if they've come a few times and they are interested, a lot of times they don't fill the card out and they come and ask you directly. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And so that's where relation That is them filling out the card, right?
Monica:They're saying, Hey, what do you guys have for women? Do you guys have something for moms with littles? Like, you know what? My high school kid,
Craig:what
Monica:do you have for him? They come, people will come and ask you if that is something they want. It's not always like, Hey, and at that moment I will say, Have you filled out one of our cards?
Craig:Yes.
Monica:That's the time where I'm like, Let's fill this out. And I recently had a mom and she was wearing her baby. And she came and asked about women's ministry and stuff. And I said, Have you filled out a card? She said, Oh no, I haven't yet.
Monica:And this, they've been listening online for a while. And I said, You have a baby on you, can I fill it out
Craig:for you?
Monica:And she was like, Absolutely. And so I sat and I filled her card out real quick, her name, her phone number, and I marked off the things that she was interested in But wanting to I also connected her with Judy.
Craig:Yeah.
Monica:And I let her know like, Hey, Rick, our men's ministry, he'll probably reach out to you or get you in contact with Judy. I was like, So you may meet Judy again. But if someone is really interested, they will usually come and ask you. Yeah. And that's where you say, Did you fill out the card?
Monica:Yeah. Because I can help you do that. Or let's I'm gonna give this to you. Fill it out right now so I can put it in the box, and we can get you connected with the right person.
Craig:Shout out to everybody who's never filled out a card in the life of our church. If I could suggest you hop on our app and make sure that your information is updated in there so that we have correct information for you. It's important that we have your correct email and phone number and all the things. Hey, Monica, thank you so much for joining us. Yep.
Craig:It has been really fun getting to know you and the serve role a little bit better. To people of Stoned Up Bible, thank you. We love you.
Monica:Bye.
Craig:You did it, Monica.
Monica:I did it.
Craig:It's fun. It's