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Okay,
with בסייעתא דשמיא,
and with great thanks for the election day,
we have the זכות to learn again,
and we'll get to learn again tomorrow.
It's going to be a record week,
four days in a row.
We didn't promise,
but we tried yesterday finishing the chapter.
We've got pretty close.
The last thing we spoke about was the idea of the force field.
There are certain things in life which you make decisions about.
There are certain things in life which you initially make a decision,
and then the effect of the decision you've made just has an impact on
you.
So,
for example,
if you choose to put yourself in an environment where there's positive influences,
so the initial choice to put yourself in that environment,
that was a choice that you made.
Once you're in that environment,
then there's the positive influences that just continue,
and the היפך as well.
If a person makes a choice to allow himself to be in a place
where there's going to be negative influences,
then at the beginning he had a choice,
he made that choice,
that was his choice,
but now that he's put himself there,
then it's going to be a constant battle because the nature of the place
is going to be influencing him for the negative.
So,
there's there's this idea of force fields or magnetic forces that take place that
you initially make a an important choice in life,
and then that choice is going to then have a ongoing impact on your
future decisions you're going to need to make.
The default is that a person is not working on himself,
then the יצר הרע is going to be pulling him.
The desires of this world are going to be pulling him.
And that's going to be he can grow,
he can always grow,
but it's going to be a battle.
But once he exits that world and he decides to make an active choice
to be in the world of Torah,
of יראת שמים,
of מצוות,
of מידות,
and he holds on to that,
then he enters a new force.
And the last thing we finished off with was the idea that you don't
always know,
we live in a world of ספק.
You don't always know any action you're doing,
is it positive or is it negative?
We know broadly,
generally,
but we don't know 100%.
We're not like אדם הראשון before the חטא,
where the whole decision in life is אמת versus שקר.
We live in a world of טוב and רע,
but we don't always know if the good is good,
if the bad is bad,
and things are confusing,
there's a mix-up.
And therefore we don't know.
We don't have נבואה nowadays,
in our time,
where we can,
like,
go to a נביא and he tells you,
unless you're חסידיש,
they have נבואה,
but the average people,
they don't have נבואה,
and what we're doing is all guesswork.
You know,
we do our best.
We're making educated guesses,
but we are guessing a lot of things:
Which is the right way of learning?
Which is the right community to go and live in?
Which is the right focus you should have in on מידות of what?
We don't know exactly.
We've got general guidelines,
we don't know exactly.
So what can we do?
כל This is what we finished off yesterday.
כל מה שיוכל לחשוב שהוא אמצעי.
You don't know 100% sure,
but if you have even a doubt of a doubt that that's going to
help you in your עבודת השם,
chase after it.
What we finished off exactly was וכל מה שיוכל לחשוב שהוא מניעה לזה,
and if you're not sure if what you're about to do is negative.
It might be לשון הרע,
it might not be לשון הרע,
but it might be.
It might be a ספק.
Don't say it.
Don't Just don't say it.
What are you going to gain by saying it?
Nothing.
What are you going to lose by saying?
A lot.
So if you're not sure if it's allowed or not allowed,
but you have a ספק,
you just don't do it.
You don't say it at all.
One of the stories they told about Rav Rubinstein was he was a very
easygoing natured person by nature.
And someone once came to give him a gift.
And normally,
if you would do that,
he would say,
"You don't need to.
You don't need to."
But if you say,
"No,
I want to," he would say,
"Okay.
Thank you very much," and he would take it.
He would show initially that he's not interested in gifts,
but then There was one someone who came to him to give him a
gift,
and they This the the story that his son-in-law told him.
And and and and he said,
"No,
you don't need to."
And they said,
"No,
please,
Rabbi,
take it."
And he said,
"No."
And they said,
"No,
please take it."
He said,
"No!"
Like Very forceful.
"No!"
And it was it was uncharacteristic.
That wasn't the way he normally was.
And so,
afterwards,
his son-in-law asked him,
"Why didn't you take the gift?
Like,
this person wanted to give it to you."
So,
he said,
"I gave him a loan.
If you give someone a loan,
and they come to give you a gift,
it's like ריבית.
Doing you a favor now in return for So,
his son-in-law said,
"Yeah,
but doesn't the הלכה say that a gift which is extra than the normal,
than someone would normally give,
that's a problem to take.
But if it's a gift that a person Just based on who you are,
right?
Like,
if you have If you have a parent and a child,
and the child takes a loan from a parent,
that's it?
The parent can't give a gift now until the loan is paid back?
Of course not.
Whatever normal gifts that would take place between a parent and a child normally,
that's allowed to be given,
and it's not a problem of ריבית because it's clearly not being given extra
for the loan.
Only if it's an unusual extra gift that's being given irrespective of the because
of the loan,
then it's forbidden to take.
So,
the son-in-law said,
so Rav Rubinstein said that,
yeah,
I gave him a loan.
So then,
the son-in-law said,
"Yeah,
but this was a תלמיד giving his rebbe a gift,
so normal way that a תלמיד would normally give a רבי a gift,
so he said,
"יכול להיות,
אבל אני לא יודע."
Like,
yeah that,
I'm not sure.
Listen,
he knew the הלכה very well,
but it might be extra what he wouldn't have given me.
Not every תלמיד gives every רבי a gift,
you know?
He wasn't sure where it's coming from,
it might be.
So he wouldn't take it.
Like,
it's could might be a ספק?
No.
And that's the way we have to go through our lives.
If something is positive,
or it might be positive,
you chase after it.
If something is negative,
it may be negative,
you're not sure,
might be a problem,
might not be a problem.
It happens all the time with people who have open phones,
that there's a link which you don't know what it is exactly,
it might be fine,
and you're curious,
so you pressed,
and then there's something inappropriate there,
so you delete it,
or you go out of it.
Yeah,
but you pressed it.
You didn't need to press it.
It might be inappropriate to look at,
and some people their curiosity gets the hold of them and then they they
carry on looking,
and they go from that to the next thing and.
כל מה שיוכל לחשוב שהוא מן העניין הזה יברח ממנו כבורח מן האש.
The same ways if you see the Twin Towers falling and you're right underneath,
you're going to run away from that because you know that it's a dangerous.
כעניין שנאמר דבקה נפשי אחריך בי תמכה ימינך.
Like the פסוק says,
"My heart,
my soul has attached itself אחריך,
not to you,
but to go after you.
I'm looking to come after you.
I want to attach myself to you."
כיוון שביאתו לעולם אינו אלא לתכלית זה,
and since this is the only purpose that we have in life,
להשיג את הקורבה הזאת.
So we could ask different ספרים,
different opinions we'll get,
but if we ask the מסילת ישרים,
"What is the purpose of life?"
The answer is קרבת השם.
להשיג את הקורבה הזאת,
and how do you get it?
By identifying what actions,
what speech,
what thoughts are bringing you closer to Hashem,
and what's taking you away.
במלטו נפשו מכל מונעיה ומפסידיה.
And the primary thing,
the first is סור מרע.
What things that you see are harming,
damaging,
you stay away from those.
Part of some of those things are you learn about them in הלכה and
you know based on that what the right thing,
the wrong thing to do is.
Some of those things aren't in the הלכה so clearly.
They're more innate.
There are certain מידות that it doesn't say 100% clearly in the הלכה this
way or that way,
but if you have a moral compass,
you have an you have an innate sense of what's right and what's wrong.
As long as you're not being very confused,
and you're being this.
A person who's got a ישר mind,
it's clear to you it's harming someone else,
it's harming myself,
I don't need to go there.
Some things are explicit in הלכה,
and some things you know just because you know.
I think we told the story before,
but this week's פרשה,
הקדוש ברוך הוא argues,
sorry,
אברהם אבינו argues with משה.
Sorry,
need to get it right.
אברהם אבינו argues with הקדוש ברוך הוא.
There we go,
third time.
And it's a very strange thing.
If Hashem said He's going to destroy סדום,
then that's the right thing to do.
Hashem knows best.
כנראה,
the people there are evil,
they deserve to die.
But אברהם is not willing to take it.
He argues and argues and argues,
and he's fighting and fighting again and again and again,
and Hashem's playing along with it until eventually Hashem says enough,
and אברהם אבינו steps back.
But the whole idea of arguing with Hashem,
what is that?
If Hashem comes to you and tells you,
"This is what I need to do," you say,
"Yes,
boss.
הקדוש ברוך הוא,
You know what's best.
I'm not going to argue on that."
Where did אברהם אבינו get the השקפה that he has the right to come
and argue with הקדוש ברוך הוא about what's morally correct?
How could it be that You're going to do this?
It's not morally correct!
אברהם is telling Hashem it's not morally correct?
It's very strange.
But you see from there very clearly that we have two sources within ourselves
of knowing what the right thing to do is,
of justice.
One source is הלכה.
When Hashem says a commandment,
"Slaughter your son," אברהם אבינו doesn't ask any questions.
That was הלכה.
He was given a commandment,
"This is what you need to do,
go do it."
Hashem knows best.
If it's a הלכה,
that's objectively the right thing,
I'm going to do it.
I know it's right.
I'm not going to argue,
not going to make a fuss.
It's the will of Hashem,
I'm doing it.
No questions asked.
Other things aren't הלכה.
אברהם אבינו was informed,
"There's a place called סדום,
I'm thinking of coming and destroying it."
No הלכה there,
wasn't told to do anything.
So what do you do then?
So here's the חידוש:
You have another source of morals that's innate,
that הקדוש ברוך הוא gave you,
and you're supposed to follow it.
It's supposed to be an inner moral compass that you use.
If the הלכה says something,
you do what the הלכה says,
no questions asked.
If it doesn't say anything in the הלכה,
then a ישר person—not everyone's ישר,
but a person who is ישר—then he'll be able to identify what the right
thing to do is.
אברהם אבינו knew that that inner voice of ישרות that הקדוש ברוך הוא gave
him is also from Hashem,
and it's supposed to be a guiding force which he uses in his life
to make the right decisions.
He knew that,
and therefore he had the ability to turn to Hashem and say,
"Hashem,
this doesn't make sense.
I don't understand.
You've told me innately that's the wrong thing to do.
So how come now You're saying You're going to go and kill them?"
If Hashem would have commanded him to do it,
he wouldn't have asked any questions.
It's a מצוה.
Hashem,
You know best.
But he was just being informed.
So when you are leading your life,
you have two sources of knowing what you need to do.
Number one is הלכה.
If the הלכה says it,
that's it.
You follow the הלכה.
If the הלכה doesn't say,
and that's usually where we get it gets more complicated,
it's not clear from the הלכה about major life decisions that you need to
make often.
If it's clear in הלכה,
it's clear in הלכה.
You do what the הלכה says.
If it's not clear in הלכה,
most life decisions you're going to make are not clear in הלכה.
The הלכה already determined for you the major things,
and now you're making your life decisions in the areas of רשות.
So what do you do then?
So here's where you come in and you say,
"What's going to bring me close to Hashem?"
So if you're making a life decision about which community to live in,
then the main question you should be asking is,
where am I going to end up?
Where are my children going to be end up being greater עובדי ה׳?
That's the main question you ask.
There's no one right answer.
It could be that you're in a community which is full of יראים,
people who fear Hashem,
and that's the right answer.
It could be that דווקא you being in a community which is not exactly
like that,
but you're in a role of being משפיע,
you're in a role of influencing others and your children will take on that
role,
that would be better.
There's no one right answer.
You have to be honest:
Where are my kids going to turn out?
Where is it going to be better for me?
If you decide to be in a community where there's lots of שיעורים,
lots of חבורות,
and it's going to be natural,
natural for you to go and join that and be part of the תורה
community,
then that seems right.
On the other hand,
if you're a person who's going to be the one who can be the
one to make up the מנין and you're going to be the one that's
going to be ליינען and that's going to give you a unique role where
you're making a קידוש ה׳,
then maybe that's better.
But the question is always the same question:
How am I going to serve הקדוש ברוך הוא better?
That's the question you're always asking.
So in the areas of הלכה,
it's הלכה.
In the areas that are not הלכה and you're making life decisions,
that's always,
always the underlying question.
You're choosing to marry someone.
Obviously there are questions of התאמה,
like it's a good fit,
you feel comfortable with them,
you enjoy being in their presence.
But one major question you're going to be asking is,
is this the kind of person,
if I'm going to build a home,
we're going to build a home together,
it's going to be a home with יראת שמים?
It's going to be a home with מדות טובות.
It's going to be a home where תורה is a central value.
That should be a major,
major question that you're asking yourself when you're looking like,
this is the person I want to marry.
How's our home going to look?
And if it's a person who you feel a good connection with,
but it's clear to you that the value system is not aligned,
and that means that your home and your kids are probably not going to
have that same level of values that you would like to build in your
home to bring you close to הקדוש ברוך הוא,
you say it's not a good fit for me,
because the main factor for you is עבודת ה׳,
coming close to הקדוש ברוך הוא.
So in the areas that are הלכה,
it's הלכה.
If they offer you someone who's not Jewish,
it doesn't even begin!
But if the offer is someone who someone who is Jewish and a nice
person and you get on very well,
but it's clear to you that in the home there's not going to be
תורה as a central value,
then you have to ask yourself twice,
like,
what's my priority?
What's at the top of my list?
That's what the מסילת ישרים is saying.
Whatever could be a מניעה,
it could hold you back in קרבת ה׳,
you run away from it like fire.
והנה,
so now finally,
once we've clarified these points and this idea is very clear to us,
we now need to go into all the details according to their levels.
I'm going to go all the way through from the beginning until the end,
following the order that רבי פינחס בן יאיר wrote in the גמרא,
and that's starting with זהירות and then going on to זריזות and נקיות and
פרישות and טהרה and חסידות and ענוה and יראת חטא and קדושה.
And now,
with סיעתא דשמיא,
let's go through them one by one.
And here we are at our great celebration starting the first מדה of זהירות.
פרק ב׳:
הנה ענין הזהירות הוא שיהא אדם נזהר במעשיו ובעניניו,
כלומר,
מתבונן ומפקח על מעשיו ודרכיו הטובים הם אם לא.
There's a lot,
there's a lot packed into that sentence.
I'm just going to read one more just to get the context,
and then we'll go back.
Why are we doing this?
Why are we checking all of our actions and checking all of our ways
and contemplating and overseeing our actions and our ways to see if they're good
or not?
Why are we doing all of that?
לבלתי עזוב נפשו לסכנת האבדון חס וחלילה.
This is a This is a very harsh statement.
If you're not actively contemplating how you're doing,
if you're not doing a חשבון נפש,
right,
identifying where am I holding,
what's the default?
What's going to happen?
Am I going to be stable?
Am I going to be okay?
I won't be growing,
but I'll be stable?
That's not what the מסילת ישרים says.
He says if you're not doing זהירות,
if you're not actively contemplating where you you're holding,
where your current place in עבודת השם is,
then there's a danger of you're abandoning your your נפש לסכנת אבדון,
that you're going to be totally taken out.
You're going to be totally lost,
חס וחלילה.
ולא ילך במהלך,
מהלך הרגלו כעיוור באפילה.
Why?
Cuz what's going to happen to you?
You're going to be someone who,
and this we have to understand this phrase,
this parable,
but someone who is blind in the darkness.
I don't know why that makes a difference.
He's already blind,
it's anyway dark.
Of course,
blind in the darkness,
we have to figure that phrase out.
But there's there's something called הרגל.
הרגל is where you do things by rote.
It's the default,
it's what you do.
And in the eyes of the מסילת ישרים,
that's the worst thing.
You're lost.
If you're following the הרגל,
you're you're considered lost.
You're lost to יידישקייט.
You're lost to עבודת השם.
It's a lost case.
And only someone,
the way he's presenting,
only someone who's מתבונן,
who's contemplating in a זהירות way,
he's someone who has a chance.
So let's go through the phrases phrase by phrase and try to get a
deeper understanding.
The idea of זהירות is that a person has to be careful,
נזהר.
Now he uses a double phrase here,
במעשיו ובענייניו.
So מעשיו,
that's what you're doing.
What's ענייניו?
Your things?
What's that referring to?
So I don't know exactly,
but from the continuation when he says again the phrase מעשיו ודרכיו,
let's say that if they're the same word,
then ענייניו is your outlook,
your perspective,
your way in the world.
So let's just give an example of each one.
You could have someone whose actions are good or bad.
So if you're looking through the שולחן ערוך,
then he's doing what needs to be done:
he's waking up on time,
he's davening,
he's doing,
keeping מצוות,
giving צדקה,
his actions are in check.
When he does his חשבון נפש he's going to look and he's going to
say,
'I'm doing pretty well.
Here's the checklist and I'm checking most things in.'
But when you look at his his outlook,
his דרך,
why is he doing it?
He sees,
this is an example,
there could be many examples,
but he sees הקדוש ברוך הוא as a tyrant,
evil ruler who's out to get him.
And if he doesn't do everything exactly the way that it needs to be
done,
he's going to be struck down in punishment.
And he's on edge throughout his life to do everything exactly right,
because otherwise God's going to get him.
That's his דרך.
That's his way,
that's his outlook.
That's a very negative outlook.
It's he will do מצוות his whole life from a place of panic,
fear,
and it won't bring him close to Hashem.
All doing מצוות does for him is give him a sense of relief:
'There you go,
I did it.
Now get off my back.'
So his מעשים might be okay,
his מעשים are fine,
but his דרך is totally off.
Because his דרך is viewing הקדוש ברוך הוא in the wrong way,
and then doing the מצוות from the wrong place,
and then it won't lead to the end goal of coming close to Hashem.
So that's and you could have someone the other way around.
Once,
there was a girl who was looking for a שידוך,
and I was talking to her about a potential boy in Kerem B'Yavneh.
And so I was like kind of interviewing her to see like what she's
looking for and what's important to her,
my wife and I together.
And the way she spoke was amazing:
עבד השם,
רצון השם,
only what gives Him נחת רוח.
Like her her השקפה,
her דרך was phenomenal.
Like it was so online with being an עבד השם and doing everything with
the will of Hashem and dedicating herself fully,
fully,
fully,
fully.
So,
I recommended her a a good boy from Kerem B'Yavneh and I was sure
like has the potential to go well.
And he phoned me on the way back from the first date.
And he didn't use these words because he was polite,
but he said to me,
'What were you thinking?'
He didn't say that,
but that was the tone that I So,
I said,
'Why?
What happened?'
He said,
'She came with short sleeves.'
She got off the bus,
like I was waiting at the bus,
so she got off the bus,
short sleeves,
I said I said to myself like,
this is not relevant.
This is it's not even going to begin.
He said,
but it was awkward to say that,
so we spoke for an hour and a half.
And like,
it's just not relevant.
It can't it can't begin,
like הלכה is the baseline.
Without הלכה it's not starting.
It's not beginning.
So,
I said that's so strange,
because when I spoke to her,
she seemed like such an עבד השם oriented person.
And she had long sleeves when I met her.
So anyway,
so I called her,
like I was the one who arranged the שידוך,
so I felt like responsible.
So,
I called her and I asked her,
I said to her honestly,
I said to her like,
you made a very good impression.
How was it for you?
I said,
and one thing which was just like surprising was that like this this boy
like הלכה is very very central in his life and being like dressing in
a צנוע way,
it was a bit of an awkward conversation,
dressing in a צנוע way is like something which was like a baseline which
he thought was very important.
And I just wanted to check in where you're holding on that point.
So her answer was,
"I always try and do my best to do the will of השם."
So I said,
and I said,
"So is long sleeves included in that?"
So she said like,
"I'm always doing my best.
I'm not there yet.
Like,
I hope one day I'll get there,
but I'm not there yet."
So I wasn't sure what to do with that,
so like I I took advice from one of my רבנים,
and he said,
"Look,
clearly has good intentions,
but like for for for someone who's wanting to live a life על פי
תורה,
that the desire to be there one day,
but not there yet,
it is not something he can right now meet.
Like when she gets to that stage where she's able to wear like dress
according to הלכה,
then But we're looking A בן תורה is looking for someone who's already got
to the stage where not just they're hoping one day to keep הלכה,
but they're keeping הלכה.
They're They're looking to keep striving and keep growing,
but" So that's an example where the דרך was phenomenal,
but it hasn't yet been expressed in action.
Now,
the truth be told,
all of us are like that.
Like,
all of us have areas where we're not yet the idea the place we
want to be.
But there's some baseline of like keeping basic הלכה.
Everything's a struggle,
right?
And it could be that for her that was the place of her struggle.
Everyone has a Where a baseline where a person says,
"Okay,
but I'm committed to keeping הלכה on the level that Like I struggle sometimes
with שמירת הלשון.
I I do,
you know,
everyone struggles with שמירת הלשון.
Right?
But I wouldn't you know,
but there's a baseline which,
okay,
I keep this,
and sometimes I fall,
I struggle.
But to make an active choice to do something which you know is against
the הלכה,
like you wouldn't do that."
It's a fine line.
It's a difficult line.
That's part of the חשבון נפש that you're making.
That's what you have to see,
like what am I ready for and should we take that step or not?
Two different areas that one has to do a חשבון נפש about.
So when you're doing this חשבון נפש,
so you how does it look?
You've got an open book,
like a notepad,
and and you're making notes.
How do you make notes?
Like what are you writing?
Well,
you're you're almost as if you're an external person looking in at yourself.
But it's even better,
because you're an internal person,
so you even know what you're thinking and you know what your agendas are,
but you're kind of just analyzing yourself,
trying to get understanding:
Where am I holding?
And it starts off,
starts off with,
where am I in my relationship with השם and with God?
Like what do I think about it all?
And that's like an an unorthodox question.
Like we're not trained to ask that question in school.
We're trained to say,
"This is what we do.
This is what we do.
This is how you do it.
That's just what you do."
And it it's quite rare that people ask themselves,
"Are you happy to be a פרום Jew?
How do you feel about that?"
It's a question which we don't always ask ourselves,
and it's really,
really important to ask.
Like משל למה הדבר דומה,
let's say you have someone There,
I got I got one in.
It wasn't,
it's not conscious.
So let's say you have someone who's struggling with mental health,
and because he's struggling with mental health,
like part of the struggle for him is he doesn't know like what's natural
to him and what's like the right thing to do.
So if you ask him a question,
his mind immediately goes to the right answer according to psychology is supposed to
be,
and he says to you And you can tell that he's answering that way,
because you can tell it's an engineered response.
Like he's like thinking,
"What am I supposed to be saying?
I need to be doing this and this and this and this."
Like you you can sense it the way he's answering,
that it's like And then you say,
"Okay,
you know,
that sounds right,
but now like putting aside what sounds right,
like what do you feel?"
And he just says,
"Oh,
I don't have any I don't have any energy for this."
Good!
Now we can start talking!
Now we can work!
As long as a person is talking from the place of,
"I know what the right answer is supposed to be," then they're not authentic.
It's not going to help them in their עבודת השם.
And in a really extreme situation,
what then happens is they have their authentic self over here,
they have their imagined self over here,
and whenever you ask them about their עבודת השם,
they always answer you based on what their imagined עבודת השם is,
because they read in the books what all the right answers are.
And then they're growing,
and they are growing,
because they're learning more and learning more and learning more and learning more,
so they know השקפתית what all the right things are and all the right
answers are,
and they they themselves they've never actually addressed,
so that stays down here,
like about what they feel about it and what they believe and what they're
interested in and But the but the external self,
let's call it,
right,
the the the the the presenting self,
the self that they're presenting to themselves also,
not just other people,
themselves too,
like they're convinced that's where they're holding as well.
So they they grow and grow and grow and grow,
and they learn more points,
and every time they read stories of גדולים,
they they adopt that the the the השקפה of that גדול,
and they're growing and growing and growing until they're like perfect בעלי אמונה and
בעלי בטחון,
and they're very good.
And then they're presented with a real thing that happens in their life,
like something really difficult happens to them,
and then that's all not where they authentically are.
So they start cursing,
and they and they and they they lose motivation,
and they don't know what's going on,
like,
"How could it be that I'm saying these things and thinking these things?
I know that I'm a big בעל בטחון and a big בעל אמונה,
and I've worked on myself so hard."
The truth is they never really worked on themselves.
It was all external.
It was all knowing what the right answer is and what the right answer
needs to be,
and they built and built and built and built,
and and they weren't trying to fool themselves,
right?
They were really building a big worldview of השקפה,
of what the right response is from a יידישקייט perspective,
what that is,
but they never asked themselves,
"Do I believe that?
What do I think about that?
Is that aligned with who I am right now?"
And they were able to fool themselves and act in that way as long
as there was no challenge.
And then suddenly a challenge comes,
they don't know what to do.
They don't know what to do,
they fall,
they fall apart.
It happens with with נסיונות when it comes to אמונה,
and it also happens,
לא עלינו,
with נסיונות with with with מין,
where they're they're challenged with a desire,
like a man-woman relationship.
And someone who's authentically built himself,
then he should be able to hold strong.
But someone who believes in himself that he's like someone very strong,
but he's actually never worked on himself in an authentic manner,
then when the desire comes,
he doesn't actually have the strength to be able to hold back,
and then he just goes for it.
And then he looks at himself afterwards and says,
like,
"How could it be that I do that?
I learned this ספר,
and I learned that ספר,
and I learned that ספר,
and I learned that ספר,
and I've learned all these important hashkafic ideas,
and I went and like followed the desire for this?"
But it could be that all he was learning was a surrounding כח.
They call an אור המקיף,
where he knew all those ideas,
but he'd never done that simple question of "What do I believe in this?"
So it's a really,
really important question to ask.
So I'm I'm not asking you,
I'm not asking you,
what should one have כוונה in דאווענען?
I'm asking,
do you enjoy דאווענען?
It's a totally different question.
If it's a test that you're answering,
where the test has to be like what should one be thinking about during
דאווענען,
then you've got all the answers:
שויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד,
and you can quote the פסוקים at the right time,
and it's great,
you've got it all down.
You pass the test.
But if you ask,
"Did you enjoy דאווענען?"
So the answer could be,
"I never asked myself that question.
I never thought about it.
I didn't know that's a valid question to ask.
Am I allowed to ask that question?
Is it not כפירה?
Like,
or or is it even interesting?
Like,
is it relevant at all?"
And here's where זהירות begins.
זהירות doesn't begin from knowing the right answers.
זהירות begins with like,
what do I actually feel about this authentically?
Some people are scared because they don't want to know what the answer's going
to be.
They're scared the answer's going to be like,
"I know it's not perfectly aligned with what it's supposed to be."
But only then you can start working authentically.
Only then you can say,
"This is where I'm at,
this is where I'm at,
now let's start building from there,
let's start building myself up."
So there are two different areas to be contemplating.
One is מעשיו,
where you go through the list of your day:
what am I doing,
how am I behaving,
how am I acting?
And one is דרכיו:
what's my outlook,
what's my perspective,
why am I doing what I'm doing?
Am I trying to please someone?
Am I trying to please הקדוש ברוך הוא?
Am I trying to win favor?
Is it כבוד?
עד כאן.
בעזרת השם,
we will continue tomorrow.
אשרינו that we began זהירות.
May we be זוכה to go from here all the way to the end
of the ספר,
and in view