Riding The Wave

In this episode of Riding the Wave, AYD and MJ open the show with a more personal tone. They acknowledge that both of them have recently faced challenges, hinting at a deeper discussion for a future episode. MJ gives a shoutout to his nephews for their recent accomplishments, while AYD offers condolences to a friend who experienced a loss. The core topic of this episode is Adapting to Change. MJ admits his difficulty with change and overthinking situations, while AYD emphasizes taking action to show growth. They delve into the reasons why change can be difficult, including fear of the unknown, self-doubt, and negative thought patterns.

In a symbolic move, AYD removes a mask he's worn throughout the podcast, explaining it represents an internal struggle he's been working through. He feels more comfortable showing his true self now. MJ expresses his support and highlights the importance of seeking help when needed. They then share some of their personal challenges with change. AYD struggles with coming up with alternative plans and experiences panic as a result, while MJ thrives on routine and struggles when his schedule changes.

The conversation explores the reasons why change can be difficult, including fear of the unknown and negative self-talk. They then use personal goals as examples of how to make positive changes. The episode concludes by highlighting the importance of self-kindness and embracing change. It suggests using life lessons learned from past experiences to navigate future challenges.

Riding the Wave puts our audience first. We want to hear your high and low tides. No judgment! DM us on Instagram @ridingthewave2024 and we will respond to your questions in a future show.

Creators & Guests

Host
AYD
Host
James "MJ" Escalera

What is Riding The Wave ?

Welcome to the Riding the Wave podcast, where we talk about the daily struggles we call life. In being a part of this community, we want to hear your high and low tides. With no judgment! The purpose of this podcast is to connect with our audience and try to put ourselves in your shoes. We are here to motivate to all our listeners but also give any of you Kings and Queens an opportunity to share your story. With unity, we can overcome any obstacle. The first step of overcoming challenges is to face them head-on. No more deflecting or hiding our pain with a smile. It's time for enlightenment. At Riding the Wave, we put YOU , the audience FIRST. Join us on this voyage and discover the pursuit of happiness.

MJ:

What's up, ladies and gentlemen? Welcome to riding the wave podcast with your host, AYD and MJ in the house. I hope everybody had a nice productive week going into the weekend. So brace yourself, ladies and gentlemen, because this one's gonna be a doozy.

AYD:

I love the voice, brother.

MJ:

But, but first off, let's let's let's start off with a cheers.

AYD:

Cheers to you, MJ.

MJ:

Cheers to you, brother. Cheers to you guys. Cheers to you out there. Before we before we get on this topic, how how's your current?

AYD:

You know what? This week actually it was pretty choppy, bro. It was, it was rough. I had a rough I had a rough week.

MJ:

Well, we both did.

AYD:

Yes, sir.

MJ:

And we're definitely gonna get to to that, on the next episode, but today, we're we're gonna we're gonna keep it directed to straight to our topic.

AYD:

Which is?

MJ:

Adapting To change. To change.

AYD:

But first, we're gonna give, our shout outs. So Let's

MJ:

do shout outs, baby.

AYD:

You got any shout outs?

MJ:

Yeah. I wanna do a couple shout outs. I wanna do a shout out, to my nephew Abel. A couple weeks ago, he he graduated or he graduated from his welding school. He so he graduated.

MJ:

And then on top of that, the moment he graduated, his, his his his teacher got him an interview for

AYD:

a welding position. And guess

MJ:

what? He got the job.

AYD:

Got it. Hey. Congratulations, Abel. You deserve it, my God.

MJ:

Congratulations, nephew. I love you. I'm beyond proud of you.

AYD:

Hard work pays off. Hard work pays off.

MJ:

And my second, shout out is is gonna be to my nephew, Noah, who graduated from, Bosco Tech. You know? So, congratulations, Noah. I'm very proud of you and, I can't wait what life has what you have in store for life.

AYD:

Yes. Definitely.

MJ:

So I just wanna do those shout outs.

AYD:

That's what's up. Alright. I'm gonna get into my shout outs, but first, you know, I'm gonna do this one. Bear with me. I'm gonna do this one, without the mask, MJ, because I'm constantly wearing it internally, because I wanna give a special shout out.

MJ:

Uh-oh. Put it on. Put it on. Alright.

AYD:

No. But this is, a shout out to my dear friend, Kidd. You know who you are. It's unfortunate. Recently, he just lost 2 of his uncles.

AYD:

So shout out to the Cardenas family. My prayers, my heart, my condolences go out to you guys. I I can't even imagine what the family is going through. Just stay strong. We're here for you.

AYD:

You know, we love you guys And yeah. I mean, it's, it's it's a tough one, MJ. It's it really is. It's hitting deep. But, I appreciate you, kid.

AYD:

You're amazing. You know, I love you, and, we we got your back 100%, brother. Yeah, my brother.

MJ:

Our condolences to the Our

AYD:

condolences to the family of

MJ:

the Ride the Wave community.

AYD:

Yes. So, I know tough times and, persevere. Again, reach out to us if you need to talk. If anybody needs to talk, you know, we're here for you. It's not easy losing loved ones, especially uncles and brothers at the same time.

AYD:

So

MJ:

No. I feel you, man.

AYD:

Yeah. Shout out to you guys. I love you guys and stay strong. Walk with your head high. I'm sure I never got to meet them, but I'm sure they were amazing, amazing men.

AYD:

Yes.

MJ:

So this is what you're looking at your mask on?

AYD:

Yeah, bro. You know, it is. It is. I mean, I gotta Okay.

MJ:

Mask on or mask off? Or you look better with the lights.

AYD:

Oh, hello. Well, I

MJ:

have to address the elephant in the room. So what made you take off your mask right now? That this is I he didn't even tell me he was gonna take

AYD:

off his mask. I had no idea what this is about. So Yeah. You know, the mask is gonna like the mask is gonna come and go, you know, but definitely I feel that I can wear aid internally, that I'm going through my process and I'm actually changing, which is just a a great topic adapting to change and changing for the better. I'm changing, a lot of, characteristics that I had that I felt were holding me back, that were,

MJ:

Well, hold on. Don't don't spill the beans, Jesse.

AYD:

Oh my god, man. You're you're you're saying that you're spilling the beans

MJ:

of her of adapting to change. I'm not gonna have any questions to ask you

AYD:

guys. Alright. My bad.

MJ:

You're letting the cat out the bag.

AYD:

Oh, he got the list of questions, ladies and gentlemen.

MJ:

But alright. Hey. But honestly, man, my condolences, to your friend and and and to to their family.

AYD:

Yeah. To our friend.

MJ:

To our friend. Yes. Yeah. Alright. So let's let's get let's get on to today's topic, adapting to Chang.

AYD:

So what does that mean to MJ?

MJ:

Oh, man. This one This topic was, was a special topic for me because I don't know how many of you out there suck at adapting to

AYD:

change. What? Because I do. Same here.

MJ:

I am not good when it comes to change. Right. And I mean, like, I overthink like a motherfucker. Like

AYD:

Bro, you're you're preaching to the preacher.

MJ:

And it's crazy because, like, 90% of the or 95 of the percent that of what we think doesn't even happen.

AYD:

You're absolutely right.

MJ:

I was saying We can't assume. Because we can't assume. We just we

AYD:

can't assume.

MJ:

We yeah. And it's and it's crazy because the moment and and I'm just speaking on my experience. The moment I hear change, I am like a fish out of water. I start thinking, well, how am I gonna do this? How am I gonna do that?

MJ:

You know, what what's just just I just get into my head and get into negative thoughts, which Right. I'm it's a process, like like you said. You know, it's it's it's a process and and changing changing the mind is difficult, but at the same time, it's something that we need to speak out loudly, you know, about it. And and that's why we're we're we're talking about this whole change. But I'm not gonna lie, change for me, it's it's it is very difficult for me.

MJ:

And how about you, Aiden? Like, how do you how do you handle change?

AYD:

Me, myself? I mean, everybody has their own different ways of handling handling change. Me, personally, I do it internally. I do it to where I want to make the changes. I don't talk about it out loud because I want my actions to show the change.

AYD:

I want my, hence, you know, taking off the mask. You know, I like, again, you said you didn't know about it. I didn't want you to know about it because it was it was for me, you know, and I was putting in the work internally, and I wanted to make sure that my actions showed it before for myself, you know, and I can actually have the confidence and cause that's what it does, adapting to change. It also builds your confidence depending on, you know, what you're going through.

MJ:

No, no. I feel you, man. And thank you, man. Thank you for finally just being comfortable. It's a form of love.

MJ:

Right. And it's honestly, like, it's very it's very brave of you. I know people are like, oh, it's just a mass. It's just this. But, it's it's a small step.

MJ:

It's a small step step of a bigger ladder that you're that we're all trying to climb.

AYD:

And, you know, and people would ask me like, why the mask, bro? Like, I get it. Like, who? I mean, the it's a mask. I'm wearing a mask, and I get it.

AYD:

But that was to put me in such an uncomfortable situation to do something that I've never done, especially even now. Like I was so nervous talking to the camera, to the people, you know, having been on this podcast, I've never done this is I'm going out of my comfort zone, you know, and the mask really forced me to like really be uncomfortable. Like I I wasn't hiding or nothing, but I was uncomfortable and I was, like, trying to get that breakthrough.

MJ:

Yeah.

AYD:

So I can just

MJ:

But it I you know what? In in in in honesty, I at one point in time, we all wear a mask. Yeah. Like, we we all put on some sort of mask to hide how we feel.

AYD:

Yes.

MJ:

Hide her hide her pain.

AYD:

Our feelings. Our feelings. Yes. Our thoughts.

MJ:

So we all so we all wear masks.

AYD:

Yeah. Exactly. Sometimes it's called makeup. Yeah. That's true.

AYD:

Sometimes it's called makeup. But, yes, some

MJ:

some of y'all wear too much. And when you take it all off, you

AYD:

guys don't look like what you look like. Right. But some like, you don't need it sometimes. Like, natural beauty is beautiful.

MJ:

You you tell it to the millions of women on Instagram. Uh-huh.

AYD:

You're trying to get me in trouble.

MJ:

Okay. So second question. Why do you think change is difficult for for you? And in general, why do you think, I know you can't speak on everybody, but just your personal opinion, why do you think it's, challenging for people to change?

AYD:

Change is difficult for me because before I had to I was uncomfortable with coming up with alternative method on the fly, like, right then and there. You know what I mean? Like, if the if the plan didn't work out as it as it should have, it's kind of scrapped. Mhmm. You know, it's kind of like, okay, hold on.

AYD:

Go sometimes I went into panic mode. Oh, what's gonna happen? What is it? I started assuming. Self

MJ:

doubt. Right?

AYD:

Self doubt. Negative thoughts. Negative end, like, you know, so I stopped doing all that. Yeah. But it was just difficult.

AYD:

It is difficult. Yeah.

MJ:

I would I would say, for myself, the reason why it was so difficult I'm a routine person. Like, I'm just a routine I'm a routine per like a lot of us are. You know, we get up, we go to work, we do this, we do that, go to sleep, stop, repeat. So the moment my schedule gets changed Mhmm. I'm like, oh my god.

MJ:

What am I gonna do? Like, again, negative thoughts. And that's something that I'm manifesting. I want to I want to speak it out to the universe because I want to change that.

AYD:

Yes.

MJ:

I'm tired of always thinking such bad thoughts when it comes to change. Because all the change that has happened to me has been so beneficial. You know, so it's like, I I myself, and I believe some of you, some a lot of you out there, we all need to, we need to embrace it. Yes. You know, we're fucking still here.

MJ:

We're not fucking dying. You know, like, no one's saying, hey, you know, you have you have terminal cancer. You have then that's time to panic. Mhmm. You know?

MJ:

But the fact that it's just changed, it's it's it's it's a good thing.

AYD:

It is.

MJ:

Change is a good thing.

AYD:

Yeah. Yeah. Change is a great thing. You're constantly evolving. You're constantly growth, being, flexible, resilient.

AYD:

So why do you think it's difficult for people to adapt to change just in general? What do you think? I think why do I think it's difficult for people?

MJ:

For people to change?

AYD:

Oh, I mean, same reasons as us. I mean, we get in our head. You know, we start doubting ourselves. We and then that causes to have low self esteem, and then it's just the domino effect from that. Yeah.

AYD:

It's just the domino effect from that, and then it's downhill, and it's so hard to stay in a positive mind or pick yourself up from that, you know, because it's just like, oh, I can't do it. And just from there, it's

MJ:

Yeah. I think It's a battle.

AYD:

I think Like, it's it's it's like I literally had a battle with myself, you know, and making changes. Like, I was lit in my head arguing with myself. And, yes, this is gonna work. This is not gonna work. No.

AYD:

You're gonna do this. And I was such a rollercoer for 6 flags, viper, king of screws just going up and then, like, all low I was all over the place. You know what I mean? So I was just like, slow down. Take some deep breaths.

AYD:

You know? And so those are some of the types of techniques I use to really gather my thoughts, stop myself, reset, and then just start again.

MJ:

Yeah. I I would definitely say, I for for people, it's uncertainty. When people like, when we're uncertain how things are gonna play out

AYD:

Yeah. Like that. The outcome.

MJ:

The outcome.

AYD:

The outcome.

MJ:

I think that is the challenging part I believe in why people struggle with change. Okay. So this is gonna be a 3 part question. So I'm just letting you know already. Alright.

AYD:

Hold on. Ask the first question. Let me, process it and then, you know

MJ:

Alright. So what chain what do you wanna change about yourself? 1st question. 2nd question is why that area or those areas, if there's multiple areas, and what steps are you going to do to make those changes? Did I make myself make myself clear?

MJ:

Yeah. Got it? Great. Go.

AYD:

Things that I wanna change about myself.

MJ:

I just asked that question. Yes.

AYD:

I'm just repeating it so I could process it. You know, I just want to make sure I understood

MJ:

the question. Okay. Okay. It's downloading. It's downloading right now.

AYD:

You know what I mean? Programmed, but. Alright. I want to change the way I feel about myself sometimes on record. Like I hate listening to myself.

AYD:

That's I hate. That's crazy. Right? I cannot, I can't, I don't enjoy listening to myself, my voice and you know, I want to be able to speak louder, clearer, you know, so I'm really working on that because I've I I did have a problem with mumbling and talking so fast. I'm really trying to get my message out there.

MJ:

You think that's part of, like, our ADD that we have probably?

AYD:

Everybody has a problem. We're different. I

MJ:

think we're all.

AYD:

I think

MJ:

we're all.

AYD:

You know what I mean? Yeah. We all are. You know? For sure.

AYD:

And then it's just, you know, I'll be I definitely wanna work on my my speech and the way I present myself. Okay. And what

MJ:

are you gonna do to improve those changes or make those changes?

AYD:

Keep working on this podcast and give it everything I got and constantly educating myself, reading more books. You know, I've That's the answer I was waiting for you. I started reading a lot more. A lot more. So definitely educating myself, reading more, just communicating with people a lot more, you know, and having just random conversations, even if it's just somebody sitting at a table, force myself to talk to them and have a conversation with people because it's always good to reach out to someone and have a conversation with somebody and see what what they're going through.

MJ:

Yeah. No, I think

AYD:

people's brains. I like picking people's brains.

MJ:

No, I feel you in that. And like for myself

AYD:

Wait. Was there a third question? Or you're just gonna

MJ:

go with

AYD:

the No.

MJ:

That was it.

AYD:

It was it was

MJ:

That was it.

AYD:

I just wanna make sure I hit all 3 questions.

MJ:

You you you hit all angles. Okay. Thank you for doing that. No problem. But definitely, like, a a change for myself with I would say is sobriety.

MJ:

Okay. I don't get me wrong. Like, I'm not gonna sit here and say I'm like a blistering alcoholic slash stoner because I I like to

AYD:

do Denial.

MJ:

I like to I like to drink, and I like to smoke. You know? And I and I will admit that.

AYD:

Okay.

MJ:

And I understand that

AYD:

Like 420 or cigarettes or No. No.

MJ:

Like, smoke the the ganja, you know?

AYD:

Yeah. Yeah.

MJ:

But, it comes it's come to it's come to a point where I could feel it. Like like I could feel it affecting my my mentality.

AYD:

Okay.

MJ:

You know? And that's that's really important for me because, I mean, the days where I where I go I do go without drinking or smoking, whatever, like, I feel so I feel great, bro. I feel so, like, my energy's on point, My mental sharpness is on point. Like, just how I act. Product productivity wise, like, I feel great.

MJ:

And now what I'm gonna do to to make those changes, that part. That's that's the hard part. Yeah. You know, like What

AYD:

do you think the biggest challenge is gonna be for you?

MJ:

I would say number 1 would probably be the drinking. I think, like, the smoking, not so much because I'm I'm a nighttime smoker. I don't, like, wake up.

AYD:

Well, let me get this away from you. No. I'll take it. Not

MJ:

now. I didn't say now.

AYD:

I didn't say now. I'm working on it. I'm working on it.

MJ:

But, yeah, man. If I have to be honest with the audience and be honest with you, I I would definitely say, like, that's what I really wanna work on. And as far as the, like I said, like, the things I need to do, I mean, it's easier said than done. Yeah. And and I know it's it's day by day.

MJ:

Mhmm. But, yeah, I just gotta minimize it. You don't have to minimize it. And I again, bro, like, I I don't have the answers. I don't have the answer to that.

MJ:

Like, I know maybe maybe go in a group or something like that. Maybe, And it's cool to

AYD:

get some help.

MJ:

Yeah. Like It's cool

AYD:

to seek help, like, you know, from other people or groups, like you said. And and

MJ:

not to say like, I don't wake up and, like, oh, I I wanna drink or whatever, but it's it it it's You

AYD:

might just scratch yourself. But but it's like

MJ:

it just it's it's just turning into a bad habit.

AYD:

Yeah. You know, and well, it's good that you acknowledge it. Yeah. You acknowledge it. You recognize it.

AYD:

And you Yeah. Yeah. That's good for you. Good for you. Yeah.

AYD:

Okay. Just just do that. As I make them drink. Make

MJ:

them drink?

AYD:

Yeah. See? And, like, I mean, there's all there's all sorts of, different different types of changes. You know? It's not just personally.

AYD:

You know what I mean? It's not just internally. Like, right now, I'm not gonna lie to you, MJ. Like, my friend, Kid, he's really on my mind. His family's on my mind.

AYD:

How do they adapt to that change? How does their family losing loved ones adapt to that change? You know, and I'm really trying to put myself, like, how did I adapt to my that change when I lost the first love of my life Yeah. And the, you know, previous discussion that we had, you know? And and then, you've lost family members and is that did you do you feel like you really know how you processed and you made the changes or like thinking back thinking back?

MJ:

I mean, what I what I've learned from people in my life passing and have I I've gotten through it, I I would say, like, I had support from my from my family. Mhmm. But I know that we all have a punch out card. We're not we're not in this in this life forever, but I I I truly do believe that this is this is not it. Like, once we're gone, like, that's it.

AYD:

Right.

MJ:

Right. I think there there is something more. Rather, I mean, I'm not gonna get all spiritual and heaven. How? I don't know.

MJ:

But I I don't believe that's that's it. Mhmm. And I do truly believe that we will see our loved ones again in one way, shape, or form?

AYD:

Yes.

MJ:

So I I I don't, I embrace their I embrace them by remembering them Yes. And talking about them Yes. And keeping like, the movie GOCO. You know? I don't know what's the movie Gokko.

AYD:

That is the movie. Remember me. Right?

MJ:

That's that's the way

AYD:

that's a good movie. That's a good movie.

MJ:

That's that's the way I, I honor the the people that

AYD:

have To keep them alive.

MJ:

Just keep them alive, you know, through through memories and stuff like that. Yeah. So, going back to change, adapting to change, what are the advantages and disadvantages of adapting to change?

AYD:

Disadvantages? I mean, for myself? Could be I mean, adapting to change for myself is making the wrong changes and not doing it the way I should. No. That's Allowing it to

MJ:

Damn you still answer.

AYD:

Drag me down. Yeah. So you're gonna ask yourself your own question?

MJ:

I would. Well, I am.

AYD:

Okay. So it's our questions.

MJ:

But, yeah. So so that's the disadvantages.

AYD:

Yeah. And then the advantages is, and I love is growth. Like, it feels amazing learning new things. It feels amazing experiencing new experiences. You know.

AYD:

It feels amazing knowing that you're constantly changing and you're constantly even though negative things keep coming our way and we keep pushing forward and we make these breakthroughs, that's that's the reward for me. Making a breakthrough, may making a change to where it's not only benefiting me but the people that are around me. Yeah. You know, like uplifting them as well. Being a positive, you know, role model or creating that positive energy for people to see that Damn.

AYD:

It's great to make changes. It's great to, like, persevere and get through everything that we that may try to keep pulling us back to keeping, keeping us in our own, our own how that we create for ourselves.

MJ:

Yeah. I would say that the disadvantage, as as you said, is when you make an impulse impulsive decision.

AYD:

That's good.

MJ:

You know?

AYD:

I was thinking

MJ:

that. Just because we're we allow our emotions to take control. Mhmm. We don't think. I mean, and it's normal.

MJ:

It's normal for for for for us to to, be impulsive. It's a it's a natural human reaction when someone hurts us. We just, ah, but at the same time, it's not always the best outcome.

AYD:

Right. You know? Right. Definitely.

MJ:

So definitely, it's like, be care be careful what you ask for when it comes to change. Because sometimes in chain when you change something, the grass

AYD:

is not always greener. Right.

MJ:

You know, sometimes the the disadvantage of it is not realizing how grateful you are to be in that position. And then you take it for granted, and then you go somewhere else, and you're like, holy shit. This is not

AYD:

What I expected.

MJ:

What I wanted. Yeah. This is not what I want. And then as far as the advantage is just personal development. Yeah.

MJ:

You know, getting outside of our our our comfort zone.

AYD:

Yeah. Just like embracing, like embracing the change. I mean, it's great to embrace the change because it changes the mindset. It You gotta be kind. Like at the end of the day, you gotta be kind to yourself.

MJ:

It's the life lessons in change. Like there's a lot of, there's a lot of lessons in life that we could use when we change. Yes. You know, And I'll give I'll give you an example is, you know, the person that I was in love with. I know there's a lot of things I could have changed, right, in in the relationship, and I didn't.

MJ:

Alright? So that was my disadvantage. But but now that I experienced this change, I experienced this hurt, I know next time when that next person comes along, that I'm gonna love them to the fullest because I experienced I experienced that heartbreak because I wasn't willing to change. Alright.

AYD:

Alright, ladies. So if you're seeking love, this guy is a gay, jump into his dm's. I'm married.

MJ:

For now.

AYD:

Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah. Forever, man.

AYD:

Forever. I'm I'm just kidding. Keisha. No. No.

AYD:

She is. Yeah.

MJ:

Okay. An important one. And to the and this is for you guys too, to the audience. When is it time to make a change? When have when have you guys ever experienced in your life where, damn, I need to make a change?

AYD:

No. Yeah. So hit us up. Put a comment. No.

AYD:

Definitely put a comment. Go out there, and not while you're driving, you know, when you Especially

MJ:

while you're driving.

AYD:

Live a clear amount of time. Right? Good. Okay. Fast and the fierce.

AYD:

I am. But, now put a put a comment. We're really interested on what you guys are thinking, what you guys are filming, and we really want to put ourselves in your shoes. And if you could shed light onto us on how to take different approaches.

MJ:

Unless your feet smell like his, I

AYD:

don't wanna put my feet in your shoes. I'm just saying. My feet don't have to smell it. That's why I'm I'm not gonna lie.

MJ:

They don't There's a there's a I have a rule of shoes off at the house, so and he's the only one that is excluded from having shoes off in the house. He his shoes need to be on at all the time. Yeah. So so, yeah. When when when have you noticed when it was time to make a change?

MJ:

Like, you're like, alright.

AYD:

Right. The way I was talking to myself, I was like, you Bro. No. Not even. You can do it.

MJ:

I was

AYD:

just slapping myself. You can do it.

MJ:

Is that how

AYD:

you do it? You make a sound? No. The way I was, I was talking to myself. You know, it was just if I did something wrong, oh, you fucking idiot.

AYD:

You're fucking dumb. You're stupid. Like like Are you hearing

MJ:

me? Are you hearing my voices right in my head? You're damn. My thoughts.

AYD:

First of all, it's how but, no. The way I was talking to myself and I was speaking nothing but negativity to myself. So how was I mean, how do I expect to grow if I'm constantly putting myself down, if I'm constantly bashing myself, if I'm calling myself an idiot, if I'm saying I'm stupid, if I'm saying your speech is horrible, like, I'm never gonna get anything positive out of that. You know what I mean? If I'm just constantly being negative to myself.

AYD:

So I knew, like, hey, you know what? Like, this is this has to change or else I'm not gonna change, and I I was ready for it. Right. How about yourself? It doesn't matter.

AYD:

Shout out to the raw, bro.

MJ:

I was just getting depressed, dude. I'd I'd wake up, I'd do my routine, and then by, like, 12, 1 o'clock, I'd be, like, that's it.

AYD:

Burnt out. Like my days, like, that's it. Just like mentally, like like No.

MJ:

No. Basically, like, 1 hour or mentally just burnt out? Meaning, like, I was just tired of my routine. I was tired of my routine. Like, I would complete it by, like, 12, 1 o'clock my day was over.

MJ:

Rather be, you know, gym, clean the house, whatever, read for a little bit, and that's it. And I told myself, like, I need to I need to do I need to do more. I need to I need more. I need to be productive. I'm at a point in my life where I wanna be useful.

MJ:

I need to be useful. Right. So then that's when I started, volunteering at my son's school, know, when they had any, volunteering

AYD:

Any events? Any events. Yeah.

MJ:

You know, I I I was there. I made I made the change by, you know, listening to my boy, Noelle, and getting the Smaug license.

AYD:

Mhmm.

MJ:

So I I I started realizing the change needed to be made, and I started making those changes.

AYD:

Alright. And you knowing that you're making those changes, how do you feel now, like, moving forward? Or is this still a process? I mean, it's an ongoing process, but

MJ:

You know what? I'm still adapt I'm still learning how to adapt to change. Like, I I I still am. You know, for for, you know, for instance, you know, my son's mom wants to put, our son in the after school program, you know? Okay.

MJ:

But I'm so used to being with him, so used so it's like change. I'm not gonna be with him. Like, what do I do? And it's like, bro, calm down. Calm down.

MJ:

It's not about you as far as myself. It's not about you.

AYD:

Right. Right.

MJ:

It's about your son, and maybe him going to this program is gonna benefit him. Help me out of the house. Calm myself down. Like, okay. Breathe.

MJ:

Okay, MJ. Breathe. MJ, relax. Like, you're gonna be it's fine. So little things like that.

MJ:

Little things like that. So

AYD:

And I think it'll help with his growth. I mean, being around this brand, having a good time. But, again because if I mean, the energy you have, I'm sure he has that energy right now. He does. He does.

AYD:

I'm sure he has that energy.

MJ:

He does. But, again, it's changed. It's it's something new. Yeah. And, like, I'm not I I don't know.

MJ:

So it it's a for me, it's a work in progress, for sure. Mhmm. Mhmm. So who who supports you through these changes? Do you have a support system when you're making these changes in life?

AYD:

I do. It's my it's, it's everybody that's around me, my surroundings, my family, my friends, my kids, my wife. Again, I try to make the changes before before, you know, I would say, oh, I wanna change this. I would say it out loud, but I would never do it. Yeah.

AYD:

I would never hold myself accountable for it and I would never make the change. I was just talking that bullshit. You know what I mean? I was just saying it and really wasn't doing, I wasn't doing anything. So then I started to do it without saying I was gonna do it and the feedback that I was getting from my kids, my family, my friends, everybody was just like like, oh, you know, like that's awesome.

AYD:

I see a difference in you. Like you walk different, you talk different, you move different, you're you're glowing, like you're always smiling, like the energy is different.

MJ:

You know?

AYD:

And then, and I, something that I changed was I had a bad drinking problem. Like, I drank a lot. Like, I, I really drank a lot. And I Well, didn't you just chuck a 30 pack before he came over here?

MJ:

That would be fun. Yeah. I'm just kidding you.

AYD:

No. Actually, I haven't drinking I haven't drank a beer in, a year and a half.

MJ:

Good job, brother.

AYD:

Thank you. I appreciate you. A year and a half, you know, and, still going. I just didn't like the way I was feeling. I didn't like the way I was going.

MJ:

And that's what I feel too. Like, I'm tired of, like, like, it just, bro,

AYD:

I wasn't finished. Oh, sorry. You just cut me off.

MJ:

I'm just trying to be rude.

AYD:

I know. It's you know, it

MJ:

happened. Sorry. Not sorry.

AYD:

Right. No. But yeah. You know, it really it really made me feel a lot better. I feel great.

AYD:

I feel amazing. And Yeah. I'm gonna keep it going as long as possible.

MJ:

Yeah, man. And, yeah, and and similar to you, like, I would say like a lot of us, my support systems is my family. And what what seeing them change, seeing how much they have grown Mhmm. Like, my mom, my sister, my my brother Chris, my little brother Reno, my my, my nephew Abel and Noah, like this

AYD:

Oh, it's almost contagious.

MJ:

Like, just seeing them all change, and we're all changing at the same time.

AYD:

Right.

MJ:

You know, we're all changing. We're all supporting each other. You know? So it's like, it's addicting. It's like Yes.

MJ:

I just we we've we've grown so much over the years as a family. Because we we were somewhat of a dysfunctional family, but now it's like everybody's starting to become their own person in a in a positive way, making their making them changes.

AYD:

Mhmm.

MJ:

And it's talking about it. I talk a lot about it with my sister.

AYD:

Oh, yeah. We know you're talking about it.

MJ:

With my sister about the changes and and my mom and and my brother. And like I said, just seeing seeing especially my older brother, Chris, seeing the the change that he made, like, it's just, like, it's it's, it's intoxicating, and it's something that you just wanna be a part of.

AYD:

Mhmm.

MJ:

So, yeah, having that support system through those changes is is is very beneficial. And but even if you don't have that support system, soft soft belief. Yes. Self belief. Yes.

MJ:

You know, like, and my heart does go out to the people out there who don't have a lot of support in their lives, because we're blessed to have that support.

AYD:

No. Definitely. Definitely. So like But I think I think that's what when you do make the change and you are being positive, I think I feel and I believe that people start gravitating to you and Yeah. Like like you start like you really start to glow and you start to shine and people feel that energy and they start incorporating that into themselves.

AYD:

Yeah. You know? Yeah.

MJ:

It's a form of gravity.

AYD:

And it's no. You definitely and and you gotta be kind to yourself. We're gonna fall off. We're gonna make mistakes. We're we're we're not gonna be perfect.

AYD:

We're not gonna get it right the first time.

MJ:

Or the second time.

AYD:

Or the second, 4th, 5th, you know, so on and so forth. But consistency and really wanting to make that change and, like, once you have that feeling, it's, it's amazing.

MJ:

Beautiful. And, let's let's go on to the or, you know, our our last question and we go into our final thoughts.

AYD:

Alright? I mean, yes, MJ. Let's do it. I'm down for it.

MJ:

Okay. Last question. How does change benefit, your overall, your overall well-being and happiness?

AYD:

How does change benefit my over well-being

MJ:

Well-being.

AYD:

In my yeah. That's what I said. Okay. Did I mumble a little bit?

MJ:

Yeah. I did.

AYD:

I'm working on it. I'm working on that still

MJ:

Well-being and happiness.

AYD:

Well-being and happiness. I'm a better person for the changes that I made. I'm approachable. I'm someone that people can talk to, you know, on or off the camera, you know. I'm somebody that genuinely like will embrace whatever, you know, you might want to talk about and really take it into heart and really be there for you, you know, if you hit me up.

AYD:

And before I wasn't, I mean, I was broken so I I wasn't able to If I couldn't help myself, I was at a point to, like, well, it makes me think I can help anybody else. And I love talking to people. I love putting myself in their shoes. I love trying to feel what they're feeling, you know, so I could get a better understanding of who they are. Yeah.

AYD:

And that really helped me grow as a person because even though I didn't go through the same thing, I still like, well, maybe I don't wanna ever feel that way so let me make the change now because this is what it did to that person, and it helps me. You know? Like, people's story really does help me. And people's comments, I reread the comments. It helps me and it really allows me to put our yourself as well.

AYD:

Put ourselves in their their shoes. In

MJ:

their situation.

AYD:

In their situation. I mean, I it's not just me doing the work. I appreciate the people that are giving me advice, constructive criticism. I take that in, you know, and I really kind of figure it out. It's a puzzle.

AYD:

Yeah. It's a puzzle and it's and a a Rubik's cube And you just got to, you know, make different turns, different try different,

MJ:

ways of Ways

AYD:

of yeah. Ways of, you know. Stopping it.

MJ:

Yeah. Yeah.

AYD:

Just having a great mindset and being positive and just knowing that you're gonna fail and it's okay. Try again. Try again. Keep at it, and you'll make that breakthrough. I made the breakthrough.

MJ:

Yeah. I would say there there there's definitely for me, there's there's a list as far as like the the the benefits and the and the overall productivity. Mhmm. Like for definitely for myself, the positive changes that I made has made me a lot more humble and a lot more appreciative Mhmm. Of who I'm with, what I have, the people I surround myself with.

MJ:

And, and it's also I got a little list that I that I that I wrote down as far as don't roll your eyes.

AYD:

Don't roll your eyes, people. We're gonna be here for a while.

MJ:

But, But, honestly, like, the benefits that I've gotten through these changes, number 1 is personal growth. Mhmm. I've I've grown a lot. Adaptability. Mhmm.

MJ:

Being able to adapt to situations. I feel like I've been very, consistent with adapting.

AYD:

I agree. I agree. I've been

MJ:

on it

AYD:

for a long

MJ:

time. Getting new opportunities. You know? Getting a new opportunity to work at a smog shop. You know, doing this podcast.

MJ:

This is a new opportunities for us that I never thought we would be able to do. But because I'm able to work at the Smog Shop, I'm able to do this. And now I'm we're both able to contribute financially to continue to to to run this podcast because, you know, a lot of stuff this stuff ain't free. It doesn't pay for itself.

AYD:

No. For real. And if you need a small check Hit them up. Get up, MJ.

MJ:

And, breaking my routine Breaking my routine.

AYD:

Mhmm.

MJ:

And most important, for me, this is the most important of all is improving perspective. We got we have to understand each other. We have to have a perspective in in our lives. Right. You know?

MJ:

So I we need we need to be

AYD:

mindful of that. At any point, were some of the changes were to show your son, you know, how to move or how to approach situations or I know he's young. You know what I mean? But, I mean, you've grown a lot. I've known you for a long time, and I see the change, and it's amazing.

AYD:

You know?

MJ:

Yeah. No. He's him seeing my changes and we both have changed.

AYD:

Right.

MJ:

You know, we both have grown so much. Like we've grown together. Like, him and I, like, he's he's man, I what he's been through with with not to say other other not to compare other kids. I know that some of the kids had a had a lot worse, but, from what what he's been through as as a kid and and where he's at now

AYD:

Mhmm.

MJ:

I mean, I I can't even I have no words, man. Like, I'm I'm so impressed. Yes. You know? And and we've and him and I being proud of but we've done it together.

MJ:

Yeah. He've done he we've done it together. So yeah, man. That's that's a beautiful thing when you Yeah. Definitely.

MJ:

You know, when you when you could grow with with not only yourself, but with your your kids and your wife or your partner, whoever it is. So what are what are our closing what's your closing thoughts?

AYD:

What are your closing thoughts? Oh, here

MJ:

we go. You're gonna flip the question.

AYD:

Yeah. I gotta flip the question. I got one, but Alright.

MJ:

Embrace it. Embrace it. Embrace change. Change when it's in a for a positive reason. Nothing not to say nothing can go wrong.

MJ:

A lot of things can go wrong, but it's like you won't fully live until you you you change. Yeah. Your surroundings, your your environment, whatever it is you want. New opportunities. There you know, sometimes we we hold ourselves back because we're so afraid of change.

MJ:

We don't start a new career because we're like, oh my god. Like, I don't wanna leave I don't wanna leave my job because I'm so comfortable there. But then but then you spend your whole that fucking miserable hating your job. You go in there just hating it, but you don't leave because you're scared, because you're comfortable.

AYD:

Yeah. You know? Yeah. Exactly.

MJ:

So it's like we we have to embrace it and you have to know when to when to do it. And sometimes you just gotta say in life, fuck it. That part. You know?

AYD:

And and even if you don't think, I think you could feel it. You could feel it.

MJ:

You could feel that. Like, you know when you need to change. You know when things need to change in your life. And you, and, and it's scary, it's difficult,

AYD:

But at the end of the day. You got this.

MJ:

It's the, you got it. Yeah. Like you say, like you, you got it. I mean and and and if you don't change, don't sit there and bitch and complain to your friends or to your coworkers.

AYD:

I don't wanna be here.

MJ:

Then then don't be there. Like, fuck. Like

AYD:

Change it. Change it. Change it.

MJ:

Change it.

AYD:

Change it.

MJ:

Stop Yeah. Yeah. Stop bitching about it and do something about it. Right. So those are my final thoughts.

AYD:

Oh, that was strong. That was real strong. That was real direct as well. Yeah. Yo, My final thoughts on change is, everything everybody's going through something different.

AYD:

It's not always going to be easy. It's not, it's going to be hard. Stay consistent, you know, any second at any second your life can change, you know, and I learned that today when Kidd told me about what happened to his uncles, and it made me, you know, like right now and that made me grow that much more and, you know, take every opportunity to make the change. Take every opportunity to, you know, whether you're having issues with loved ones just to tell your family, your friends, like, I love you. Reach out to them even if it's just a call.

AYD:

Like I love you. I care about you. You know, fixing fixing relationships that might have might have been that are in turmoil or that, you know, are you're struggling with. Fixing those relationships are gonna also help you make great changes because then now it's like you dealt with something that has been on like, just that's just been weighing on you, you know. So when you make that change and you actually like go out there and like So it almost gives you like It almost wipes

MJ:

the

AYD:

slate clean, you know, and it gives you a new blank piece of paper that you can start building off of and make changes and learn the lesson and go down different paths. Yeah. You know? Yeah, beautiful. Yeah.

MJ:

Make those changes. Rather it be work in your relationship, like, don't settle. Don't settle because you're you're scared to start something new. You're scared to be alone.

AYD:

And people are just so amazing. People are amazing. Their thoughts, their their feelings, like, you everybody is capable of so much.

MJ:

Yeah. We're we're a lot stronger than we than we think.

AYD:

Yes.

MJ:

You know? We really are.

AYD:

We are.

MJ:

We really are.

AYD:

We are.

MJ:

So, in that note, let me let me, just, real quick, what do you guys think of the of the new shirts that we got?

AYD:

The new shirt

MJ:

and I I I don't know why we didn't I don't know why we didn't we didn't, like, we didn't fucking model model it, in beginning of the podcast. But what do you guys I really Thoughts. We really want your thoughts. What do you guys think?

AYD:

We don't want the thoughts, but we want your thoughts.

MJ:

Yeah. We want your thoughts. We wanna see what you what's your opinion on it. Do you guys like it? What do you what do you guys think?

MJ:

I was thinking of doing like like well, this is black and maybe like a navy blue. I like I like dark colors. Think about doing like a tank top. So we're just we're just kinda Spitballing.

AYD:

We're just just going with it.

MJ:

Getting ideas. So we definitely want, your guys' feedback. But, thank you guys for tuning in. Yeah. We'll we'll see you guys every Friday at at 8 AM and please like,

AYD:

subscribe. Make sure you hit up your friends. Tell them come check us out. If you have somebody that wants to share their story, hit us up. We're open to whatever story is out there.

AYD:

Even if it's something positive and that you're working on and you wanna put out there, let us know. And we're going we're we're here to support you guys. We're here to support everybody. You know? Alright.

AYD:

Well, that being said, it's time to roll out, brother.

MJ:

It's time to dip. We'll see you guys next next week. We love you. We'll see you.

AYD:

Have a great day. Peace.