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Welcome to Tabletop Travel Agency, an actual-play podcast from Rainbow Die Studios, where every mini series is a new destination in the world of tabletop roleplaying games.
From heroic fantasy and chaotic comedy to mystery, horror, sci-fi, and heartfelt character drama, each adventure features a different game system, a fresh cast of characters, and a new story waiting to unfold. Whether you’re a longtime TTRPG fan or just booking your first trip into the hobby, we’re here to help you chart your course to adventure.
Pack your dice, grab your character sheet, and join us at the table.
Fabula Ultima TTRPG Campaign Episode Four - Tabletop Travel Agency
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[00:00:00] [00:01:00] [00:02:00] [00:03:00] [00:04:00] [00:05:00] We are now on our fourth episode of Fab- It is our second to last. We are super excited. Um, I'm Val. I am your GM for tonight. Uh, and we're gonna turn it over to David who is gonna give us a recap of last time's events. Hey, buddy. So couple things happened. Uh, we broke into the castle. Turns out there was some weird wedding thing.
No, not a wedding. It was like a match- Single- It was like, it was like- Yes. Yeah. It was- A matchmaking ball, yeah ... yeah, a rich people bachelor. You know that thing. Yeah. So, uh, Gery looked like a total dork, um- Wow ... trying to flirt with the princess. Uh, Kendall came in. Their suaveness, their amazingness, [00:06:00] their hot cheekbones, all of that, uh, helped, you know, really woo the princess over.
Uh, they got into an argument almost immediately, followed by an argument with her grandmother. The queen. Yeah. Um, and so ar- arguing with o- old people aside, uh, the grandmother sent us to clean up a grave. We cleaned it. We got an egg. We got another egg. Then, uh, Pergliachi, or whoever that cat boy is, tried to take it again.
He didn't though. He didn't. He didn't. And, uh, we, we... So we have one egg. We're still missing one that got egg-napped. We're in the forest place now- Oh, no ... looking to do forest things. Um, other things that happened, Kendall and, uh, Gery had a nice bonding moment. Uh, Kendall and Squid had an un-bonding moment.
Uh, and I'm trying to remember... Oh, uh, oh, you murdered a lot of people. Bubbles murdered a lot of people. [00:07:00] Bubbles, like, turned a group of men into meat on the floor, dead. Uh, and that's what happened, long and short, right? Yeah. To be fair, I just look at them and they burst into flames. I don't know what happened.
That could've been anyone. Exactly. Anyone could've caused something- It's something, something's in the water. It just does that. It's fine. All of that being said- It's the pollution ... um, when last we left off, you guys had just entered the main city of Kaproot, uh, of the Agrigio Kingdom, where you are hoping to continue along your quest to find your third moment of goodwill, your third egg.
Ooh. Um, again, this city is... There's one very large tree with buildings all sort of built in up around it that are sort of, like, seamlessly part of this tree. There's a bunch of other large trees nearby that have bridges connecting them. Um, and there's a lot of life around, mostly, like, small mammalian [00:08:00] folk, uh, little mice folk, possum folk running around looking busy.
What would you like to do? Um... I think one of us was leading the way. I was storming off, I think. I believe the m- the, the mouse boy was taking charge. Was- Yeah, I guess, I guess Jerry did kind of lead the charge on that one. We learned a word we shouldn't say, so let's try to avoid that word. Yes, cat. Woo.
That wasn't in character. No, I know. All right. That was- This episode let's go for no old men. No, no old man characters will interact. No, it's gonna be- But I do like my old men, they're a pivotal part of the genre. It's gonna be mice old men. It's gonna be mice old men. Mice old men. Oh, back when I was a boy.
Two years ago. We're gonna, we're gonna meet the three blind mice. I swear- That's the elders ... the elders are three blind mice. They're the see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil mice. I think that's what we were doing, right? We were just looking for the [00:09:00] elders. We're looking to- You all right? ... get our own evil.
Oh, no. No, it's terminal. Hey. Just like your sense of humor. So I, I guess- Uh, you had been investigating the wrecked, um, Cornelius Rex's, the, the Cat Boy Circus- Oh ... ring master had crashed over here. It's a boy? And that's why you came over here. And we haven't found it yet, right? We're still looking for it?
That's what we asked the mice people, and that's where they pointed us- Yeah, and they sent us this way ... this way. When you were standing in front of the sign. That's right. Yes. Yep. Yeah. Nice recap. Yeah, I got all the good details about how hot they were for the queen. You know, what really matters. At some point I said cat, and you yelled at me to go talk to Public Dole, so.
Yes, I did. I think, I guess Jerry's gonna look to another mice person and be like, "Did you see an airship crash around here?" "Yes, I did. Why are you talking to me like that?" "Like what?" It was very... It sounded really pointed, like I wouldn't know Did you see [00:10:00] a big one crash? Yeah, right over there. They point to a smoldering wreck just, like, 100 yards down the way.
Jerry just looks over. Can, can- I cannot believe we missed that. Candle's already over there, and Candle's bubbles and squid are already over there going, "Hey." He, he doesn't have great eyesight. He really doesn't. Really off my game on this one. He's so low to the ground. I'm sorry. Jerry's gonna, Jerry's gonna scamper on over.
All right, you scamper on over. Ooh. Ooh. It's, it's so disarming when you say scamper, right? And like- Well... And then she get down on all fours and is like- Yeah. Scamper. Um, yeah. So you- Like a horror creature ... you can quickly determine that, like, the actual airship part of this is gone, again. Like, there's a big spot, there's maybe some loose pieces of wood, but there is a half inflated circus tent that is still kind of smoldering left behind, like they had to drop it to keep moving along.
Yes, [00:11:00] Candle? I, I... Is it, is it... It's up? Like, it's, it's- Yeah, it's like half deflated. But it's- I do, like, a tactical roll, and I go, like, like into the building. Okay. And they're like, "Ha." Jerry follows, pistol in hand. I draw. Put your hands in the air. Give us the egg. And the money. But mainly the egg. And also the money All right, so you roll in.
You start screaming threats. Uh, you quickly realize it is abandoned at this point. Oh. Um. But kind of harsh. Uh, this is sort of a burnt out, somewhat husk of a big top tent. There are these maroon and cream colored stripes that are still faintly smoking. The air in here is smoky. Um, there is- ... this large open space that you guys are in that appears to have been, like, the center stage.
There's a bunch of wood bleachers kind of scattered on the floor. They were probably held up [00:12:00] magically and now they're just kinda everywhere. Mm-hmm. Um, but that would've been where a crowd would sit. Um, and there's, like, little tent flaps in the back that you could open to go to, like, a back area. I do the exact same thing on those flaps.
Okay. I roll it again and I be- You just roll all the way through. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like this. Perfect. Walk behind you at a normal pace. Jerry just slowly walks behind him. He's like, "I'm not doing this joke. I'm not doing this bit a second time." You can, you can hear under Kendall's breath, they're going, "Do-do, do-do, do-do, do-do, do-do, do-do."
Like... Um, okay. So you find yourself in what appears to be, like, a sort of, like, backstage green room area. Um, there is- Is the room green? You know what? Yes, it's- Yes. Doesn't make sense 'cause on the outside it is not green. You feel good about that one? Yeah. It's now green- I need it ... with green stripes. Um, there's this big meeting table in the middle, like a big, heavy oaken table.
Um, it has a little map of Fayville on it with a bunch of wooden miniatures, like a war board almost. Um, you see this [00:13:00] big carved one of the ship that you're on, and then there's little ones of you guys all- What's mine look like? Uh, it's just, like... It's, like, a little, like, you know, circle on top, semi oval on the bottom with, like, a, a nose.
Of course. There's another one with ears. Another one has, like, a little tail, and yours has, like, a little beak on it. They got a little me. Um, there's a big one of the ship that you're in. Um, you guys were still in the Shining Citadel, so it doesn't look like they really had time to change the war board during the pursuit.
Um- I just, I take all of them and I just kinda sweep everything into my bag for- That was gonna be me ... comedy tools later. Got my little me, though. Well, you don't get Squids, I guess. Do you want, do you want this one, too?
I wanna look around for how, like, anything useful, anything they might've left behind. Um, yeah. Perfect. So while you guys are playing with your action figures, um, Bubbles, [00:14:00] you find first a crumpled flyer on the ground. Ooh. Finally. My nose is bleeding. Maybe it was terminal for you. I don't know. If you need to step out, you can.
Is it, is it very- Yeah, I'm gonna step out for a second ... is it very bad? No, I think my nose is bleeding. Oh. Physical difficulties. I'll be right back. Pardon us. Our- Okay. We, we didn't wanna tell you guys this, but Aaron is actually a failing homunculus- ... we, we made out of flesh and stone. Uh, it's, it's been a struggle over here, all right?
You've done really well. It's so hard to find homunculus. It really was. It's been a struggle. It was, it was difficult. We had to- You have to build your own team. Do you know how much bologna you have to buy to make a, a fly homunculus? To make a man. In this economy. Um- This economy ... do you open up the flyer at all, or you just- Yeah.
Um, so there is, like, almost like the little, "I want you," picture, but it's of the, the man with cat ears. Um, and it says, "Want to travel the world?" Yes. "Find companionship, adventure, and renown?" Yes. "No longer must you suffer through the envoy initiation to achieve your dreams." Oh, [00:15:00] we can quit. "Audition for Cornelius Rex's Traveling Troupe, the nation's first sideshow act in the sky."
Do you wanna become a clown? I think this might be perfect. Yeah. First of all, I am my own clown. I need no one to confirm my clown-ness. All right? Not you, and not Catboy Slim or whoever- Oh ... you know, is, is out there claiming to be a circus leader when really he's just some dork stealing eggs, okay? One. And two- I already auditioned and got denied, so
I don't think they're okay. Do you wanna be a clown? I would love to be a clown. I could probably, like- ... do some bubble tricks. Ideas. Here, you wanna do some card tricks? Here. And I, I hand you a pack of cards. Do a trick. Okay. And I shuffle them and I'm like, "All right, pick a card." Oh, while this is happening, Bubbles- Uh-huh
you also find a [00:16:00] big, um, like a costume trunk. And then I, Is this your card? Like a big, sturdy trunk with leather, um, straps. It's open. No. Wait, shut it. That's pretty cold in here. Quick. I put them all and I go, "I mean, I probably..." Are you trying to get to be a clown penguin? You find a whole bunch of what appears to be stolen items.
No, no, it's fine. You, I would've never done this if not for you. I'm gonna... You're a good- You guys, did you do a perfect card trick over there? Yes. Uh, I will read out what you find to you for the audience. Yeah. But you guys can hash this out. You find a pair of crimson gloves. Ooh. I'll take 'em. When you perform- No.
Hi. When you perform an attack with multi you gain a plus two bonus to accuracy checks. Oh, I have multi. You do have multi. Uh, wanderer's boots. If the group makes a discovery, you gain one fabula point. I, I also have multi. Do you want crimson gloves? I also have multi. Can we sh- shall we share it? I just did a little discovery.
If you need to do it, I'll- Also, I- I'll say there was a pair ... they're all good. It's just really cold and it dried out my nose ... oh, I'm, I'm a wanderer. You have this one. Uh, you find the ring of tales. When you roll a critical success you may spend the opportunity to gain a fabula point. I feel like you roll [00:17:00] best.
I roll best. Um, and- But that doesn't mean- ... the egg ring. The- The egg ring? The egg ring. The egg ring. If you drop to zero HP you may resist with one HP. If you do, the ring breaks and it costs 500 senatory gold. So people say that's the ring I should be wearing. You giving that to Candle? Yeah. It's like a multi-level joke.
I'm moving ... one level deeper. I am, I am many things. Homeless, jobless, prospect-less. Well, not that last one anymore. Motherless, at this point. Okay. Aw. However- Um- ... there is one thing that I am. Mm-hmm. Or, well, yeah, and that is very squishy- ... and very twinky. Uh, the brave glaive. It is a spear. Uh, as long as you have- Ooh
three bonds of loyalty or affection, you gain a plus one bonus to defense and magic defense Uh, the quarter main is a two-handed ranged firearm. It deals extra damage equal to the difference between your current IP and your max IP. That sounds like me. [00:18:00] Shout, quarter main. Uh, these ones you'll actually have to hash out.
There is the granny vest. Uh, it increases your magic defense. As long as you have this equipped, you may treat willpower as though it were one die size higher, to a max of D12. I kind of want that. Oh, dude. Mm. There's also the black tunic. Spells you cast deal five extra damage. Ooh. Yeah, I'm doing more damage.
I've got the- I do wanna three plus one or like a D12, but- Can I, can I have that... Can I check out that spear? These all were probably stolen, but you're re-stealing them back- Yeah ... so really- Unless you need that spear ... it's ethically neutral. I, I spear. Okay. Is there also just a random clown costume in the chest?
You know what? Yeah. Clown costume. Awesome. I look at Camden. Oh, what the... They're multiplying. They put a minus two to initiative. Yeah. You- I already have minus two. I'll take them off. You evil monster. I'm sorry. That's now the, the item. None of mine cause any negatives. No, I don't think yours... You could use- Were these in the game?
Yeah. Can I look- Creators. Look at me. How dare you? Can I look at the item for poor people? 'Cause that's kinda in my- The item for poor people. What a [00:19:00] wild sentence. It says the difference between your max IP and your, your minimum IP. Poor people. It's a, it's a two-handed range firearm. Oh, yeah. I'm not gonna do a firearm.
Yeah, that's why I took it. Well, then make sure you spend your money. I did. I spent four inventory points to give us that, uh, damn tent. Why are you shouting? Does anybody want a cool ring or a cool blade? I'll take a- I'll take a s- My nose is bleeding. What's happening? I, I have a spear, but I don't need it.
The light, I know. You want a spear. I want one. 'Cause this one is, like, for three bonds, but, like, I'm not really gonna use a spear. Well- I have three bonds- It's really cool ... and I'll use a spear. If you can- My bonds with you only get stronger every day ... if you can improve one of those bonds, you get the bonus from that spear.
I have, I have, uh, I have three. I have a, uh- They have to be admiration or loyalty. And you have admiration, loyalty, and- Ooh. I have admiration, affection. I need some loyalty going on. Loyalty, loyalty. A- admiration, affection, and I believe I have a mistrust. And I believe I've, I have a mistrust. I, uh- Yeah, you gotta work on the mistrust
we'll put them in the trunk. But yeah, you find these, uh, definitely stolen goods. Um, you also find [00:20:00] kinda wedged in the bottom of the trunk, kind of poorly stored, a bunch of files, um, that you realize are kind of, um, little workers files for all the carnies. I mean, they have a clown accountant. Evil files.
Yeah, evil files. Um- Anything interesting if I go through them? Evil clown. You can roll a insight and insight, I guess. Okay. That is two D6s. I had a bag of chips. Hmm? I had a bag of chips. That's a nine. So I have insight plus one. Is that for each dice? I think so, yeah. So that'll be 11. All right. Um, yeah, you notice that, like, every person that was hired, um, it's listed that they had attempted to take the envoy initiation thing and had failed it.
Hmm. That makes sense. Yeah. Oh, yeah, so you missed it. Mm-hmm. We saw a flyer and it was, like, crumpled up. I uncrumpled it. It was like, "We need you." And [00:21:00] it was essentially like, "You can quit your job as an envoy and, like, come join my team." Steal eggs from other people. Yeah. Basically. And like- Join the circus
doesn't sound like a bad idea. It doesn't sound like a bad idea. We could just quit while we're ahead. But idea, idea- Idea ... we keep collecting eggs, and if we're still missing one egg, we could just all say we wanna join the circus, and then we could decide there or not if we wanna join the circus or steal the egg back.
Is that in character? Take over the circus. Yes. Take over. Oh, this is all in character. I have a counter idea. We killed so many of their people. That's very true. They were good friends. But it says that they need us. To themselves. Uh, done. Count- counter- They need us ... counter idea. Counter idea. Let's go get the egg from these guys, right?
Then, right, I'm sure while we're wandering around to do whatever, you know, uh, c- uh, to, to hunt whatever cat they need, we can hunt our cat, right? Woo! Just in the [00:22:00] distance. Here comes our slam shot. We can kinda kill, kill two- Cats. Woo! Kill two- Two purrs with one stone. There you go. Another joke from Gery.
Just Gery looks in the camera and says that. It's like- Another joke!
It feels like your idea was just what we were already doing I thought you said look for the eggs, and then if we don't find the last one or something- If we don't- ... join them for realsies If we don't retrieve the egg they stole from us, we can say we're joining them for realsies, and then maybe we do. But if we don't want to, then we just take the egg back.
Hmm. The map looked like they were tracking us. Does it have any other... Were there any other little dudes on the map? Yeah. Does it- So, like, tracking other... tracking other groups of envoys? Does it show Squint Mom's house? It does not, unfortunately. No. Um- So they haven't been tracking us that well. [00:23:00] Yeah, there's a couple others that you don't recognize.
Yeah. There's one that you quickly realize is Helio. It's, like, a big corally thing. Ooh. So actually there's a path of candle bubbling back. Um, one that's, uh, Lady Iris, Queen Clethra's grandmother. Yeah. What does the one for this area look like? Do we see the- Oh, why, yes. It's a little, uh, mushroom person.
It's like- We're looking for a fun guy. It's like the circle, but then it has, like, a little mushroom hat on top. You just hear the, you just hear the, the hammer on Jerry's pistol cock. That's actually a very offensive joke. That would be... No. That was, that was so not funny. Mm-hmm. Oh my God. I think you're gonna have to, like, write an apology letter.
Just why don't you keep the one-liners to me. All right? But he's, he's a fun, he's a fun- Hey, hey, hey, hey You're looking at the most dog water clown I've ever seen- ... and I still think he could've done that better than you. That's rude. You guys aren't leaving mushroom [00:24:00] for improvement. Leave it to them. Leave it to them Squid through tears.
I, I, I like, I, I go over and I like, I like hold Squid's hand with like the thing in it, and I go like, "Why don't you just give the champ, why don't you just give this to me? Just..." Jerry can only take one joke, Sarah. Just, let's just... Any more and he's gonna lose it. You are my friend. He respected Squid's muscles, but not his jokes.
It's understandable, they're not very good. All right, uh, is there anything else you'd like to do in the burnt out big top? The burnt out big top. Oh, yeah, I did find a clown costume, and I looked at you for permission. To wear it? Yes. To wear it? Yes. Is it offensive if he hasn't been the clown guy? What kind of clown costume?
Is it like, like what are we talking, court jester? Are we talking like scary clown? What are we talking here? I think like the very basic, like stripes, three big pom-pom buttons, ruffle collar, [00:25:00] big shoes
fine You know, your basic clown getup If it would bring you joy, then fine. Yes. I am like, I have my cloak underneath, but I rip my dress immediately down in half, and then I put the clown outfit over my- Oh, you also can wear the granny vest over it. Oh, yes. Oh, that's amazing. Oh, that's right, Jerry just has, like, bright crimson gloves now.
Very cool. To hide the blood on his hands. Yeah, you have, like, one of those little knitted, like, vests- Oh ... with, like, little, like, tulips on it or whatever- I see a little granny wig ... on top of your clown outfit You know? That'd be cute. To go with your clown outfit. Yes. And I'm imagining what Jerry looks like now with all these new items.
Um, yours, to give you a visual- I'm gonna go straight to the back ... Candle- Yeah, and movies ... is quite literally just, like, a ring where there would be inset, like, a, a gem. There's, like, a small egg. And, and, and what of the black tunic? Mm. It's a, you know. Oh, right. So, so- So, like, I, I'm just out here like Batman cloaked in darkness.
Meanwhile, I open it and it's just [00:26:00] pom-poms and bright, like, gesture clothes. I'm sorry. It said black tunic. I was like, "Wow, this will look pretty." When it opens, it makes, like, a slide whistle effect. I go, "Boo!" Yeah. Like that. Love it. You know. I'm just new boo goofing. Yeah, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. New boo goof.
Boots are built for walking. Yeah. New boo goofing. New boo goofing. Just new boo goofing. All right. I should wear my cowboy boots. Uh, yeah. You new boo goof. Are you heading back out to the city? It doesn't seem like there's anything else to find here. Yeah, we can, um... New boo goof our way to the- New boo goof.
Yeah. Let's hunt down this pussycat. All right. Ask him what's new. Yes I need a giant waterfall. A ton of times too, maybe. I really like the thought of it. Enough amounts that it might upset a group of people within a diner. Agreed.
Reference humor. All right. This is my new mentor. Wow. If you can't be funny, just reference people funnier than you. You're really good at it, so... So you head out into the town. Again, it's pretty busy. [00:27:00] There's people walking to and fro. You know, there's people bringing- What? Did you just- That's fro. What?
That's fro. I'm, I'm fro-ing. And I'm going too. Got it. You're gonna fro as well. Oh, oh, that's what you did. Oh. Yeah. I'm sorry, I took a psychic damage. There's people, you know, carrying big, like, baskets of berries. There's people repairing parts of, like, the trees. There's people, you know, riding around on, I guess, horses.
They probably have horses out here. Ooh. Nothing fun and exciting. No. That is kind of fun and exciting, like a little mushroom guy on a horse. Honestly. Is it a full-size horse or is it like a miniature? What if... Wait, wait, how does this world work? You actually don't see any mushroom people. Mm-hmm. This world is so confusing, 'cause we have actual horses.
Yeah. Like our world horses- Mm-hmm ... but then there's, like, normal, like... But other animals are all speaking people. Yeah. Yeah. Do the horses speak normal? No. I mean, they'll speak to us. Come on down. What is happening? They'll [00:28:00] talk to us. We can talk to them, yeah. Yeah, we can talk to the animals. This world is so crazy.
Do they also freak out when you say, "Cat"? Do they also live in bones? Oh my God. They live in big glue houses.
Bubbles, do you know where any mushrooms would... Like, is there a mushroom section of town- Whoa ... that we can go to? Whoa. There definitely is. And Bubbles will point in a random direction and, into the forest, and be like, "That way." I, I- I, I, I go- I don't think he really remembered ... I go up really close. I'm like, "Bubbles, it's okay if you don't know where it is."
You can, yeah, you can tell us if you don't know where it is. It's okay, but do you... It sounds like that's where we need to go. So if you, if you, have you ever seen a mushroom person around here? That might be what we need. I point back at the map that we saw, like not even five minutes ago. Let's go. Just, "Well, if we really need to, we could check the map."
Okay. Let's go in the direction the map said the mushroom would be in. Okay. I like that. I like that It was just kind of [00:29:00] generally on top of Taproot because the map is not, you know, a scale model- Hmm ... of the town. Okay. So b- let's just go to the biggest, most important building. The big tree? The big tree. It has several- Let's go to the big tree
important buildings on it, yeah. Okay. Um- That has several important buildings on it. Perfect. Yeah. Uh, you notice pretty quickly the f- base of the tree, um, appears to be, like, almost like a town hall sort of thing. Mm-hmm. There's like, it's got Taproot carved into it. There's, like, a little bell on it. Ooh. Um, big knockers.
There's a guard posted outside. Guys, come on now. Come on. I should call her. I really gotta call your mom later. Weird, I was also thinking of my mom. That's strange. So, I thought I was gonna spit up what I was drinking for a second. So it, the tree is big enough that, like, it's like a building, right? Like, like the rest- It's definitely-
of the houses have been described as, like, small. So, like, I can enter them ... it's several buildings, yeah. Okay. [00:30:00] Um, I guess, is there, like, a front desk? Uh, there's a guard posted outside. Of course there is. I, I, I, I go up... How, how, how big is this person? Uh, about Gery-sized. Ooh. I, I squat down on the ground like this.
They look immediately mad. Gery also immediately looks annoyed. I go, I go, "Do you happen to know where there might be a mushroom elder character hanging around?" "You, you mean Protaxis?" "That guy. Where's he at?" "They're inside." Up. Up. Which, which up? There's like three buildings attached to this building.
"There's more than that, but-" Okay. So I'm not great with numbers, and that's offensive. So- "Okay. Well, maybe you should learn to count." Do you even know- Oh, boy ... how much fifth times three is? I didn't think you did. Now- Okay. Well, you can't go see Protaxis without an appointment. How do we get an appointment? [00:31:00] I don't know, I just told you.
Do you administer the appointments? No, Shermie does. Do you have, like, a secretary? Who's Shermie? Town manager. Where's the town manager? Uh, she's probably out and about somewhere. Where, where? Out and about where? I don't know. Oh, well, there's a cat around, so why don't you go do that? Ah! Okay. Would you stop?
They run inside and slam and you hear, like, five locks, like. Oh, gosh. Is Shermie alone? I told you that. Shermie is not alone. This is upstairs. You pointed into the woods when we asked you. You asked me where the Mushroom Kingdom was. I... You didn't ask me where Protaxis was. Now, is it possible for, like, Jerry to just scale this thing?
That seems like a insane, insane sounding thing. I guess you could try. Like, it's a giant tree. Can Jerry not just- ... climb up it? I mean, you could theoretically go up there. It's just they wouldn't really love if you broke into Protaxis', you know, office. I don't imagine they would vibe with that. Well, maybe they should be protectin' Protaxis a little better.
Um. You don't know what's up there. We could ask around and if anyone's seen Shermie. We know a name. We can, uh... Perhaps there's... This is the town hall, maybe there's a library [00:32:00] around. All right. Okay, library it is. Library it is. I don't know what we're talking about. Maybe we can all visit- I don't know this game anymore
our local library, an invaluable resource to our community. No. No. No town- No self-respecting town manager would ever enter a library. I also like to think that despite all of Candle's degrees, they still don't know how to read. Can't count, apparently. No, they, they can read, they just don't like doing it.
They, they- She's not doing it. They, they're like an engineering major in an English class. Like, they just don't. Oh, gosh. They're just like, "What is this?" Or a business major in an ethics class. "Why am I here?" "Why am I here? This is all useless information to me." Would I know where to go, since I've been here before?
Uh, to find Shermie? Yeah. You- Or at least, like, where, like, she might work or might be, places she might stop at. Do you know her? Yeah. Bubbles knows everyone. Like, your friends. We've been over this. I don't really have friends. Okay, when, when, when I, when you say know her- That's sad. You do know. Wow. When you say know her, is there like a, like a, "Oh, I know the queen," kind of a [00:33:00] thing, where there's like a history to it?
Or it's like, "Oh, they were my friend in college." Neither. More like I've been around a lot. Okay. I say hi. Um- So you more know of her. Been to the library, talked to them. You know that Shermi is almost always, like, running around, checking in on things. Uh, they are, uh, a very neurotic little possum folk. So she can usually be found just sort of...
It is hard to track her, 'cause she's always, like, checking in on the local businesses, checking in on Protaxis, in the town hall, in the library sometimes even. Mm-hmm. Would she check in if something went wrong in the town? If there were perhaps some type- If people were screaming- ... yeah, everywhere, she might be.
If something perhaps happened to, uh, uh, maybe just something on the street, maybe it was something sort of, I don't know, little fire. Little, little fight? Little fight. You guys started a fight. You set a forest on fire. She might. All right. She might. Let's... Do you wanna cause a, a ruckus? I think a ruckus would- Uh.
I mean, if she checks in when there's a [00:34:00] problem- A ruckus isn't our name ... we can cause a little bit of a problem. Jerry's just like, "Right?" We didn't start the fire perhaps, but we could be- It was always burning ... we could be involved. Yes. I'm gonna, like, start waddling to the library very quickly and just kind of hope I find her before trouble starts.
Okay. Yeah, you go on. I'm gonna look for the equivalent of, like, a fire hydrant and try and kick it. Oh. I look for, I look for the biggest road, like the biggest, busiest road. Yeah, there's like a big main circular road around the tree. I, I, I, I hop up on like an apple box or something, and I just go- Okay, hold on.
Yeah. Let's- Go ahead. You hustle over to the library. Silly me for thinking my party would come with me- I know ... and then start a ruckus there. A ruckus in the library? Never. Uh, it's probably up one flight- It's very distracting ... from the town hall. There's a lot more stories. So you just walk up the street.
Mm-hmm. Um, it's a nice library. It's built right into the tree. The shelves are kinda carved in. Um- Wood. [00:35:00] You, you've been in here a couple times. Yes. You realize above, there's sort of like a mantle towards the back. Okay. You know, it's not a huge library. There's a big painting on this mantle, um, of a mouse folk.
This guy looks exactly like Jerry. I'll take a note of that. Like, you've seen a lot of mouse folk. Mm-hmm. It's not just like you mis- Whoa, whoa, whoa ... confusing mouse folk for mouse folk. This guy looks like Jerry, but it's, like, a, like, old painting. And he- Do you, like, copy it, like a perfect rendition and put it somewhere?
I, I could, but no. I just- Charcoal sketch of it ... I just put, I just put notes in my, in my book next to your, like, little section there. Uh, and underneath- Questions to ask later ... there's a little placard that says, uh, Butterscotch. Butterscotch. Ooh. Butterscotch the mouse. Is there a librarian nearby? Um, yeah.
There's a little, uh, a little mouse at the, at the desk, you know. Reference desk. The reference [00:36:00] desk. Thank you. I used to work at a library, and that was embarrassing. Um, you know, stamping books. Stamping books. That's all they do, right? Overdue. They look books up. Overdue. Overdue. Hi, Chelsea. What a modern sounding name-
for this fantasy world. You look around, confused. "Oh, hi." Who's that? And I point at the Butterscotch, um, painting. Oh, that's Butterscotch. He's a famous hero of Taproot. Hmm. Looks like a, a lot like my friend. Oh, that's interesting. Just thinking about the implications of the, the, the dichotomy between Phoenix Steamheart and Butterscotch McRainbow Puppies, or whatever his is.
Is Butterscotch kinda like a Carnegie? Like you, and there's Butterscotch libraries in a lot of towns. It seems he's pretty local to Taproot. Were you interested in learning more? No, we're actually, um- Oh, okay. ... looking for someone. Uh, what's the name of the person we're [00:37:00] looking for? Uh, Protecthis? Thank you so much.
No, Protectis, 'cause I, I feel like I know him. Oh, Shermie. Yeah, Shermie. Shermie. I saw- Also, uh, do we actually have to get, like, an appointment with Protectis, or- Yes ... through Shermie? Okay. Most of the, I'll just do... Okay, I think this has been enough time to... Yes, yeah, no. This is perfect timing. Transition.
Attention. Jerry- Are you just in the street watching? Sorry, sorry. Attention, everybody. I, I take out, like, a megaphone. A bunch of people- Attention, everyone ... begin to slow down to look. Attention. Attention. Hello. There is a cat. Oh. They all start running back to their homes. There is, there is a cat and it is, it is in the library.
That is all. And I, I, I just hop down from the apple box. Jerry's visibly fed up. It is suddenly much less busy in the city. Um- Sure. Okay. She'll be at the library now Is there a window in the [00:38:00] library? Yes. Okay. Uh, the librarian who is not named Chelsea has now ducked under the desk. Ah. Now she's gonna be at the library, right?
What do you mean?
There are almost no- Let's just go to the library. I just walk up to the, to the window, and I'm just shaking my head. I, I look up at you. I'm looking down, and I just go... And Jerry's just like, "Oh." Okay, you're headed to the library? Headed to the library. Yep. Uh, Jerry, there's a painting of a mouse on the wall who looks a lot like you.
It's you. Jerry, that painting looks like you. That looks nothing like me. But I- It looks exactly like you I- I'm stan- uh, Jerry's standing next to it, pointing at it like, "Nothing like me." I look, I look down, I look up, I look down, I look up, I look down, I look up. That's you, dude. Where'd they get a picture of you?
Can I- It doesn't have my scar. Mm. Yeah, but [00:39:00] the, like, ear shape, the nose shape. I can add a scar. You also have the same amount of whiskers on your face. Like... The librarian mouse peeks up from the desk and is like, "Well, it can't be him 'cause, you know, Butterscotch, rest his soul, is not around anymore. But you do look a lot like him."
Can I call you Butterscotch? No. Would you like to be called Butterscotch? No. What about Butter? We've just been over it. I'm not Butterscotch. What about Tersco? What? Butterscotch, Tersco, like... Ooh, I got it. But- If you'd like to know more about him, you could ask, uh, his grandson Butternut.
Where's the little nut now?
Oh, my soul. Oh, God. I think I need a second. She worked at- ... the berry farms down the road. Oh, perfect. The [00:40:00] berry farms. Okay, the berry farm. You've been an incredible help. Thank you. Yeah, no problem. Oh. Good luck with- Holy shit ... whatever you're searching for. And don't worry, I don't think there's a cat here.
You're, so you're safe. Meow. Ah! Jumps under the desk again. Search for the berry farms then? I thought we were waiting for the lady. Well, we, we could wait for Shermie to- And Shermie ... perhaps show up. Did I- Do you wanna split up? I don't know why you guys are so stuck on the idea that Shermie's gonna be at the library.
Do you wanna, do you wanna split up? Some of us can go check that- Sure, let's go check out the farm. You know, why don't... Do you wanna go check out the farm? You guys look for the possum. I mean, I wanted to kick a fire hydrant. Is there no fire hydrants? You can go find something to kick outside. Yeah, there's like- I'm gonna go kick a fire hydrant Go kick rocks, kid.
I'm gonna go try and kick a rock. Sure. There's like a little statue that's, like, got evocation water magic built into it. You could probably kick it and set- Right ... knock something loose. I'm gonna kick it. They can't sue us for yelling cat. They can absolutely sue us for property damage. Oh. All right? I would just get ahead on that.
No one's [00:41:00] gonna see. All right, come on. And I, I gr- I grab Geri's hand, and I begin skipping. Okay, so you run downstairs and kick a fire hydrant. This'll get the public works. You kick the, you kick the, the water statue over. Um, the head flies off, uh, and it starts to glow, and just, like, starts spraying water everywhere.
And it's, like, a detached head, so it's like, like if you let go of, like, a water balloon. It's just like everywhere. You're gonna flood the whole place. I have not thought this through. Luckily, most people are hiding inside at this point. Um- You're gonna flood the town? You hear, like, faintly down the, down, like, the street, "Oh, goodness.
Oh, oh." And it's getting closer, and you hear, . Um, and you see a little, um, possum in a pantsuit run over. Fantastic. And she just starts frantically chasing after, like- Powerful woman. Starts frantically chasing after the water-spewing head. I join her. Like, it's not me who kicked it. [00:42:00] Absolutely. Oh, my gosh, let me help you out with that.
Can you roll a dexterity plus might to catch this thing? Absolutely. Oh, God. Menace. Um, a nine. Nine. Yeah. Oof. I know. Even with your bonus? Um, that... It's a plus one, uh, so yeah, I rolled an eight. Okay. Um, you catch it for a minute, and you're holding onto it, but it just, like- "Hey, I'm Squid." Yeah, just... Um, I'll have her roll, I guess, and see if she can do anything about this.
Possums, famously strong creatures. She's doing her best. She also got a nine. So she's like, "Oh, that's a... Uh, uh." "Oh, gosh. Oh, goodness. Um, um, give me one second." And she runs off and, like, starts chasing it. Um, but you're fairly certain this is Shermi. "I found Shermi." In case they're around. Would you like to try to do anything about this?
Yes, I wanna come help, I guess. Okay. [00:43:00] I was gonna get some books on, on Butterscotch and Butternut or cats or something, but. The little nut. You're, like, halfway through making a library card, and you're like- You hear them all screaming outside and you're like, "All right." Yeah. Everybody is ducking for cover.
Meanwhile, you just pull the form out of the back of the desk and you just... Yeah. I'd like to support this local resources mine. Do... You can too. Remember, go to your local library. I- You can find everything there. Barbecue. Bring a barbecue. Don't do that. Barbecue in your- Oh. Or you can't find the book you want and you have to have your friend get it from their college.
I come down and, um, is... How can I help? Is there... Are... Is the head just still- Yeah, there's just a w- a water-spewing head flying around the city center, knocking into things. Bubbles. You have a net or something or, like, anything? I will cast acceleration and just see- Oh, that's good ... if that helps on, um, Squid.
Ooh. Ooh, okay. What does that do? I wanna be fast. [00:44:00] It's not really helpful outside of combat, but I'm hoping... Uh, I guess I should've cast, like, a ritual. But, like, I bend the fabric of time and then the person gets a additional action on each of their turns. Uh, I will say you can roll, um, we'll add plus two to your dexterity roll- Oh
if you try again. Okay. Because you're now fast. I'm gonna try again.
Like, I just, I'm gonna do a fabula point. I really want this to happen Okay. So I'm spending a fabula point It's worth the stuff Um, putting those in jail. You're robbing home base. A six again. It's just not to be. It's not happening. Okay. A six plus two plus one, so, uh, it's a nine again. So you are running around.
You're in, you're filled with, you know, function and speed now- ... and you still can't catch it. Uh- I sigh. I just put a hand up in attempt to grab it out the air. You can make a roll. Oh, my gosh. Uh, is it just double dex? Uh, dex plus might. Dex plus might? 'Cause you have to also hold it.[00:45:00]
So that's 11 plus 3. Really? Oh, wait, hold on. 11 plus 1, so it's at least a 12. Yeah. Does, does that say I also get plus two to dex, or- That's your defense. It's just straight dex. Okay. So, but does any of these give bonuses? No, those are just for your defense. Okay, cool. So then, yeah, it's gonna be 11. All right.
Yeah, you reach up and you catch it, and it just, like, at that moment, stops spewing water. And you're like, "Oh, nice." No, nice catch. Thank you. Oh. But I'm speedy, so I'm like, "Whoa, nice catch." Thank you, guys. That was, that was scary, but we're okay now. W- everything's- Yeah, we're perfect ... everything's fine now. It's probably that cat.
Oh, yeah, I've been hearing a lot about a cat in town. Do you guys know anything about that? Heard one from the library. Purple cat, very tall, has stripes and a couple polka dots. It was really scary. Oh. Mm-hmm. Well, I hope they've left. Looks like it. [00:46:00] Your town is safe. Oh. Name's Squid. Um- Is Squid hitting on this pause?
Always. Uh, she will, like, extend a little paw to me hand and give you a very quick nervous little shake. Her palms are sweaty. Oh, it's all right. It's me going, "It's good to see you again, Cheryl." It's Cheryl Oh, Bubbles. Yeah. Yeah, I remember you. Well, thank you for your help. Yeah. Um, what brings you into town?
Are you just wandering through? We're actually hoping to get a meeting with Protaxis. Oh, about what? We're, like, trying to get, like, an egg, but, like, moment of goodwill thing. Oh. Envoi training. That. Envoi training. Yes, that makes sense. Or we might just be clowns. I'm not sure yet. We- we're- we're looking at different jobs.
Between Bubbles is in the clown outfit right now. We're keeping our options open. Exactly. It is good to keep your options open. Yeah. I hope that envoy thing goes well for you. That seems like that'd be a perfect job for you. Thanks. Would you know how we could get a meeting [00:47:00] with Protaxis? Well, I mean, I guess I could ask him since you helped me with this and I think kicked a cat out.
Yeah, yeah. I think the water- That tracks Roll an insight plus willpower to actually lie. Okay, let's see. The water- So it's gonna be an awful lie. I already did it ... how- how did you kick out the cat, squid? With my feet. Nice. What'd you roll? It's a two ones. It's a one and a two. It's a one and a two. Oh, just not critical.
Just, just one- Okay, well, the way you said that made me a lot less sure that you did, but I mean, you did do this one nice thing for me, so... Yes. It was mostly the water. Yeah, the water scared it. I, I'm sorry. Well- I tried to take credit for it ... it's, I appreciate your honesty on the second go. All right. Well, I'll go.
I guess I can ask, um, him. We appreciate it. Yeah, d- um, no problem. Give me a minute. Uh, and she'll scurry [00:48:00] off. Cheryl's the best. Cher-y. Cher-y. All right. You two skip down to the berry farm. It's pretty easy to find. Are you skipping too? No, Gery is being dragged essentially. There is- I forgot we still have Gery
he's, like, face down. I'm just, like, dragging him through the mud. There's kind of an open glen in the, uh- Oh ... in the town where there's some sunlight that peeks in, and this is where they kind of have some low brushes. Um, they're actually pretty large bushes. They're have... They're taller than you guys, and they're full of, like, these almost, like, magically big, like, blueberries, raspberries.
Um, and you see a whole bunch of different forest folk all working to pick them. Ooh. I, I, I pick him up by the scruff of the neck and I lead him on his feet. Why would you do this? Never do that again. Skipping? All of it. We're best friends, right? We're best friends. People keep using that friend word. You want some of these berries?
They look pretty good. [00:49:00] They look like you kind of a, like a you type beat, if you would Jerry just keeps, like, making angry eye contact with him, then reaches up, grabs a blueberry and puts it in his mouth. Does it go in your little cheek? Excuse me, you can't just... Oh, oh, okay. And there's, like, a little bunny folk in, like, dungarees.
Jerry just glares at them. Okay. Goes back to picking quietly. We're looking for a butternut. Was it good? Like, just paint me a word picture. Come on, I wanna know about the berries. What are these blueberries like? Uh- What does Jerry taste? They're pretty good. They taste like very large, well-grown blueberries.
Nice. Um- I like, I, like, take a handful and just, you know, eat them. Okay. You really, you really can't be doing that. Oh, oh. I love how we've turned into the intimidation squad. This is gr- this is great. Something about- Um, they- Something about the, the highness of their voice makes it a lot less threatening to threaten them.
Like- They hurry off to [00:50:00] another bush. Mm-hmm. You just don't respect them because of their diminutive nature. Yes. Yes. Oh, uh... Oh, wait, no, hold on. I, I wave the bunny down. They peek from behind the bush. So we're looking for... That is good. That is, like, really well... That's good. Uh, we're looking for b- butt- Butternut
butt cheeks. Bu- butternut. Bu- butternut. Oh, butternut. Uh- Is he also there? Hey, Butternut. Oh, God. What? Oh, God. I, I think this is your moment, Jerry. Someone's over here for you. What do you mean? What do you mean my moment? It's your moment. Uh, he'll be right over. All right. Stand there. Look great. I believe in you.
Jerry's just confused. Okay. Everyone's yelling, he's eating blueberries, and he doesn't wanna be here. These, these are really good. After a [00:51:00] moment, you see a mouse folk who looks a bit like Jerry, not quite. Less identical. Um, wearing, again, these blueberry-stained dungarees. He's got a couple blue splotches on his face.
Um, and he's kind of, like, not quite as rough around the edges as Jerry, but he looks, like, rough from the farm work. Yeah. He's got, like, a very large pair of shears for a mouse to be wielding in his hands, and he walks over and kind of looks at you funny, like- You got soft hands.
Like he feels like he's seen you somewhere, but can't put his, his paw on it kind of thing. It's like, "You need something?" "You called me over." "That is true. That is... You're looking at me all weird." "Why did we come here again?" Because the guy in the- "You dragged me here. I don't remember." The guy in the painting looks like you, and this guy looks like you.
Oh. And you've never [00:52:00] seen him once. You do look a lot like Grandpa Butterscotch. "Well, I am not him." Okay. Well- "We were sent here to learn about your town's hero history." Well, it doesn't really sound like you wanna hear Grandpa's history. "No, I do. He just dragged me here very brutally." I'm just a good friend.
He's just, uh- "They, they just dragged me through the mud. It was real nasty." Look, look. I can see that. I'm just supporting my friend. Jerry's cloak is just covered in mud. Gerry definitely like, upon the whole like, "I can see that," just shakes all the mud off the cloak and it just lands all over Candle. It's, like, purposeful.
Are you, uh, related to Grandpa Butterscotch? Not as far as I'm aware. Okay. My mom's a bird. I don't think that's true- Oh ... Jeff. I'm gonna go on a long shot and I'm gonna say- I definitely grew up with a bird for a mom. No, I'm sure your mother was a bird. I'm saying the person- Well, no [00:53:00] wonder I got a bad vibe from you.
Ooh. You're bird folk. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Gerry definitely puts his hand back on the quartermain that is now- ... resting upon his back. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No feathers. Fluffy. This is a... This is a man. View him. View him. I, I am, and I'm s- still not really sure why. Gerry, I'm, I'm gonna go out on a crazy limb here.
Whoa, what are you doing? He's... I'm, I'm, I'm sorry. Uh, Gerry, I, I'm gonna go out on a- You can't show that note ... I'm gonna go out on a limb here. A wing, if you would. Uh, so this guy doesn't actually know his... Do, do you know your biological parents? Not a clue. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that all the mice that look like you, and the guy who looks like you, um, and this guy seems to think you look familiar, I'm gonna say they might have some idea where you're from.
Long shot. [00:54:00] Crazy. And you should go and check that out. 'Cause if I gotta deal with my emotional baggage, so do you. Gerry just sighs in defeat at the logic being sound. It's like, "You're probably right." That's right. Get some character development. Butternut is just kind of standing there. Okay. Uh, do you need something, or can I go back to work?
The story of your Grandpa Butterscotch, apparently. Oh, yeah. He's, like, a local hero. He rallied us micefolk up against the, the invading sphinxes. That felt charged. That statement felt a little charged A little bit. Okay. Well, you know, there's the magic sphinxes that live in the other part of this forest.
They came here, and they were, like, making us work in the factories and stuff, and it was super not cool. Oh. Oh. That's dark. That's different than what I was thinking based on that first statement. Agreed. Um- [00:55:00] So Grandpa Butterscotch got together a militia and, you know, took care of them. So que- question- Sounds like my type of guy.
Sounds like your type of guy. Question. Question. Mm-hmm. Uh, s- so is, is that why you can't say cat without people freaking out, 'cause they think they're gonna come back? I mean, there are sometimes cat folk, and they do, you know... Oh, God, that must be... Like, that, that feels really terrible for them, because I mean- I mean, yeah, that's also why we don't like bird folk.
Some birds don't eat mice. Well, the ones that killed my uncle definitely did. Okay. Moving on. Next question. You're down an uncle. Mom and dad? Oh, they're fine. Can we go meet them? They seem lovely- Um- ... from what you've said. Nothing, but they seem lovely. I don't really feel comfortable with introducing you people to my parents given the substance of this conversation thus far.
But we've been friends for so long. What substance of this conversa- I think this has been a pretty positive interaction, Jerry says as he puts his hand on his holster. I [00:56:00] think you should introduce us to your parents. Jerry, no. No. If you're gonna make me go through this, we're gonna go through it my way, clown.
You know what? Fine. Hands off. All right.
You heard him. Take us to your parents or we're killing you. Whoa, hey, I didn't say that. That's what he said. I'm just vaguely threatening the guy. Okay. Well, I'm gonna leave now. No, you're taking us to your parents. No, you're not. No, you're not. Like, I like grab him. I like grab his overalls. Ah! Nah, you're not.
A couple other people perk up and are now looking at what's happening because Butternut is screaming. Everything is fine. Everything is fine. I, I, I pull him, I pull him close and I go, "Look, cat." They all kind of look and then they're like, "There's no cat there. You think we just run every time people say cat?"
You, you think the cat would let you see it after I pointed it out? They'd probably hide Berry patch predators. This is a pretty big field. You better check every nook and cranny, or we could see experience. They all start backing away. [00:57:00] So your mom and your dad... I'll never talk. What? You'll have to kill me.
Well, all right then. And Jerry pulls out the pistol. All right, Jerry, this is getting a little dark. Okay. He holsters it back up. Okay. Then I, I grab him and I, I re- I point him at Jerry. And I go- Ah ... "Look, it's like a mirror." And Jerry just does this really bad toothy smile. I don't see it. Look at it. Look at it with your soul A- as that's happening, does he have a wallet?
You're pickpocketing him- No ... while punching him in the face. Does he have, like, something in his pockets? Like, he's... These are, like, his work clothes. Yeah. I- He has his work keys ... I imagine he would have, like, keys- His work wallet ... or something. Yes, he has, I guess, some keys to his house, and he has two zenit in his pocket.
Uh, can I take both of those things? Uh, that's gonna be a dex plus dex. All right. Can I distract him some way [00:58:00] while this is happening? Uh, you can roll a willpower plus willpower, I guess. Or might. We'll do willpower. That is a two and a seven, that's a nine. And then the black tunic is plus one to dex? And I roll a- No, that's just your defense
ah. And I rolled a six willpower. All right, so that would be a nine. Oh, wait, hold on. No, these are d10s. Hey. This is the wrong guy. Okay. Are you... I- I mean, do you wanna accept the result then? No, you can roll again. Okay. D8s. Okay. My distraction is a six. That's a six- Yeah, no, you're like- ... plus five. That's an 11.
Okay. Huzzah. Yes, you steal his keys to his house- ... and two zenit from the man. Yeah. Actually, it's- We leave for two minutes. I, I, I look at him and I, I, I let him go and I go like, I go like, "Look, we didn't mean to threaten. We're just... He's just really broken up about his parentage, and we thought we might have found a lead.
But if you, if you feel like, you know, you're uncomfortable, then, you know, [00:59:00] I guess we're sorry for like- I mean, you are threatening me physically. No. No, we're not. What are you talking about? We're not talking about that. No. No, we're not. I mean, I am. I'm talking about that right now. No, no, no. My sweet- You just tried to shoot me with a gun
my sweet summer child. Uh, there was never a bullet pointed at anyone. No. Never. I'm gaslighting this crazy. Never, never, never. Okay. Well, I might have had something to say, but now I'm going back to work. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, you should say it. You- You can't just do that ... you should say it. He starts walking away.
No. What? Jerry, like, runs up and forcibly stands in front of this guy. He tries to walk around. No. Jerry grabs him- Ah. ... and remember Jerry has, like, crazy strength. And you are very strong for a mouse, so he's also strong, but not that strong. I think I should just, uh, just, I'm just gonna keep- Words. Speak 'em now.
All right, fine. But you gotta go away after. Okay. Fine. His fingers are crossed behind his back.
My Uncle Butterbean and Aunt Sesame were killed by bird folk several years [01:00:00] ago. Oh, that's no good. Hmm. They did have little baby, baby Buttercup with them, but nobody found baby Buttercup. Your butt cheeks, that's you. Jerry lets him go. Uh, Cup- Cupcakes. And just starts screaming into his hands. Ah. Great.
Let's go meet your aunt and uncle, whether or not they want to God, I don't know how many more Butter names I can come up with. We just meet somebody named Butter Stick. And Jerry just has, like, a thousand-yard stare about him- Legos ... just standing there. Did my- There- Did my mom kill my real parents? Ooh
We'll deal with that later. Let's go meet some more mouse folk. Uh, look, all I'm saying is we can go meet the mouse folk, but you gotta either unpack it with me or you can unpack it with all of us. You gotta decide what you wanna do on that one. [01:01:00] But, uh... This is the first time Jerry's really, like, breaking.
Aw. Come, come on, buddy. It's, it's all right. You'll be- Are you guys walking back into town? I like, I like, kind of, I kneel down and I kind of go like, "You'll be okay?" Okay, okay, okay, okay. Jerry just starts, like, he doesn't even wanna meet his, like, s- uh, potential family now. He's just stomping back towards town.
Uh, you guys are patiently waiting for Shermie back where you were left. Uh, the street is now extremely wet and muddy. As well as several buildings. Hey, guys. And your friends. Jerry just stomps in the mud. You guys, uh- Oh, wow. Problems. I think my mom killed my mom. Whoa. That's rough, buddy. Oh, wow. Wow. Don't you love confronting your problems, your history?
No. Hasn't this been great? No, I confront my problems enough already. Yeah, exactly. How does it feel? Not good, does it? Not great. How can I flirt with your girlfriend? [01:02:00] I'm already flirting with his mom. She's not really my girlfriend, either. I'm flirting with your mom. To be fair, we've been broken up for a while.
And also, I think I hate her Oh, there's a lot of big feelings for this Jerry just, Jerry just plops down and sits in the mud. He's just, like, defeated right now. I, I, I kind of take him by the cloak and I begin walking with him, with them. Just dragging him through the mud. As party mood is, you know, hitting a all-time low, uh, Shermie comes racing back down the stairs like, "Oh, good news."
Oh, you're Sharmin? "I'm Shermie, yes, it's nice to meet you. Uh, Protaxis said that they'd be willing to meet with you." We set up an appointment with- Sick, nasty. Can we go now? Y- yeah. We're ready. "Yeah, that's fine." Your dialect is so interesting at times. I come from a strange land. We follow Shermie. "Here, follow me."
Thanks. Uh, she's quite quick. She just starts scampering up this little, uh, wooden staircase, all the way up to [01:03:00] the very top of the tree where there's, um, a very ornate looking building at the top. It's, um, got little gold pieces attached to the tree. Um, and there's kind of the least done to the tree besides a door being added in.
Um, she'll give a very little, like and then open the door. Inside you'll find a pretty, um- pretty simple, basic home. There we go. I thought you were just describing me for a second. Yes. Very simple and basic. You know, a little fireplace. It's got a little log. Don't worry about how it's built into a tree. Um, rug, some basic furniture.
This seems to be like a little like meeting room that then feeds into other smaller parts of the house. Um, it takes you a minute to notice, but sitting in a big armchair is just like a big mushroom with arms and legs. [01:04:00] Perfect. Um, no visible face. Just kind of like a trumpet mushroom. Oh, wonderful. I imagine Jerry's just been dragged up the stairs 'cause he, he's just like- Like covered in mud Can I say something insane?
I, I know we didn't bow for the other ones, 'cause I kind of, I kind of hate that woman. That old bag. Uh, but I kinda wanna bow. Should we bow? I'm, I'm down for a bow. I'm down for a bow. Bow? Bow. Bow. All right. We all- We all- I saw, if I saw you being dragged upstairs, I would've just picked you up and just
Terry's just like, just sitting on the ground while they all bow, like- Covered in mud ... "Hello, hello." Being held and buried. Just, just push his head down. Just push his head down. No, no, no. Oh. I, I g- I grab him and I just go, "Meh." Uh, you hear a voice in your head. Oh. "No need to bow, children." Hmm. Ah. And Jerry like snaps to now.
Protractor, my guy. Protaxis. Yeah. Protagonist, that's what he- That's what, that's what I said ... that's what he said. You, I've seen you around. Yeah. I've been here. I've been around. Jerry starts to draw from his belt. Been in this building before. [01:05:00] In this building? Yeah. My home. Once or twice maybe. Oh. Or maybe it was out, I don't know.
Could've been next door. I come to the library a lot. Our friend is emo- is, is locationally challenged. Well, I'm glad you have finally found your way to me, whether or not that involved my house in the past or not. What brings you here today? We're looking for- An egg ... a moment of goodwill. An egg. We're on our envoy training.
Ah, I see. We're... And I like pull out the other egg and I'm like, "Like this one." Is there anything that we can do for you? Perhaps kill a couple feline-looking jesters that are in the area? Well, it's good you've come, because I have a task for you in mind. Perfect. Just in time. Perfect. Come with me. Oh. Uh, and they will stand up and walk to another room.
Jerry gets up and follows. He's, he's back, he's back to being functional now. Feeling yourself, Jer? So real. He's like, "I'm over it." Oh, time to smile again. [01:06:00] I just imagine like a little cartoon mouth face. It just becomes like 50% smile. Yeah. I- Just like- Yeah ... I kind of hate seeing him happy. Is that wrong with me?
Uh, this isn't- I don't think this comes with happy quite yet. I, this isn't... Yeah. Relatable. All right. Um, you walk into what you quickly s- realize is like a child's room. There's a mobile. Oh. There's a crib. Oh, no. There's little books. Um, Protaxis reaches down into the crib and holds up a little like button mushroom.
Oh my gosh. Uh, it also has no face, but it has little appendages, and it's wiggling. I hate that. I hate, I hate that. Oh, aren't you the cutest little... This faceless thing. Yeah, it's like about baby size. It's so cute, though. I immediately- Pick me up, Papa. ... go into big bro mode. Somebody- Oh, yeah. You're used to it.
I'm so used to babies. I'm like, "Aw, congratulations, Protaxis." And I'm gonna go and write this down in my mag. Thank you. It would be. It would objectively. Like a cream sauce? [01:07:00] Like... You saying that in character to everyone? No. Okay. This is- My heir, Shimeji. Shimeji. Does he have eyes? No. Is it 'cause he's small?
Yes. Uh, Protectus will let you hold. He can tell you're very- Oh my goodness. Oh. I have been giving it much thought, and I think the best place for Shimeji to learn all that they need to know to take over for me when the time comes would be for them to return back to the mushroom village where I was born.
You want us to take your heir back- So there was a mushroom village. I pointed in the direction of it. You pointed in the darkness. Uh, Protectus will point. It's kind of that way. Did, did Bubbles get the direction right? Yes. Yes. It was a shot in the dark, but I got it. Do you have, like, a baby Bjorn or something?
Oh. [01:08:00] I was literally... I think I had it written, like, give them baby pouch. Give baby pouch. They w- will hand you- When's the last time he ate? Oh, just a bit. He doesn't eat much. What does he eat? What does he eat? Does he eat? Mm-hmm. He has no mouth. Everything eats something. If he has no mouth, can he eat? I have no mouth but I must eat.
Mushrooms grow out of dead people in the ground. Yes you do. Oh, yeah. He is not in those things, so does he eat? Well, maybe we need to put him in those things. What school did you go to? I went to university. Does he need some decaying- Not school ... do you need some decaying matter? Yes you do. University of Bad Jokes.
Hands you a diaper bag full of, like, bottles of decaying matter. Perfect. All of you know I'm a self-taught clown, actually. That makes sense. I am not strong enough myself to traverse- That's like the meanest thing Bubbles has said. Bubbles is getting sick and tired of everyone just bothering the people.
Leave them alone. Yeah, this is literally, like, Bubbles' hometown and everyone's just- Thank God Bubbles did not see what [01:09:00] happened with the mouse. Thank God. Bubbles just standing there while we're threatening this mouse guy. I have many- Take us to your parents ... I have many talents, but combat is not one of them, and I fear what might befall us on the road if I brought Shimeji myself.
Mm. Mm. But you seem- Shimeji ... given your previous moment of goodwill, uh, and your exploits against the cat that I've heard of. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. That you- You fought a cat? No, we, like, sunk their ship from the sky. I had Pokémon. Maybe... Yeah. Oh. That one. Yeah, we did that. Yeah, we did that. We did that. That did happen.
We did that. Yeah. I think you are especially equipped to handle this journey. If you can come back and report that Shimeji has been delivered safely, I will happily bestow my moment of goodwill upon you. Wonderful. Can it be, like, a, like, a... Can we, like, deliver it where we're going? That's not how it works, unfortunately How it rip so far.
We, we are kind of the [01:10:00] mailmen. Yeah. But like- We're actually three clowns and a baby. Four clowns and a baby. Three and a half mailmen. I keep leaving someone out. I don't know who, but someone. I think I left myself out. You're included in the baby space. Three, three clowns, a fish, and a baby. It's, it's, it's one, two, one half, one half.
And, and, and, and Candle also counts as half. As about whole. 'Cause Candle is many things. Man is not one of them. Clown, though. Three clowns and a baby is still- Three and a half beings All right. I guess we'll come back. Thank you? We'll get Smedgey where we need to go Thank you. Bodacious. Jerry takes the quartermain off his back, puts it in both hands, cocks it, and goes, "Let's deliver this baby."
Whoa. Whoa. "No, like to where we're going." Oh, okay. That, that's not, for the record, that's not like the vibe [01:11:00] we operate under. We're more like... Have you ever heard the sound of a kazoo? No. That's what follows us as we move, as we, as we go places
I have a kazoo Okay. Thank you for trusting us with your most precious little one. They got somewhere they need to go. You, you keep them close. I, I will. You, you specifically. I will. All right. Do, what do they eat? I just feel like they could deliver moments of goodwill. It can't be that difficult. They seem to really not have the heart to kind of do it.
So, Cactus is going to politely kind of, like, usher for you to leave their home. They definitely vary in scope. Like, one was just clean a rock, and this is bring a baby to a different forest. One is like, one was, like, environmental terrorism, and the other is, like, take a baby, and the other was just janitorial duty.
This feels... And, and another thing, they make it seem like it's no big deal to make the egg. I, I don't understand why they can't just hand these things out like candy. To be [01:12:00] honest. You should smell his head. Smell this head. Yes. It smells delicious. There is a limited- He smells like ramen ... It's so good. I love it.
It's intensive. Though it may seem a simple process, creating a moment of goodwill does cost a lot of mana. So it's not something we're inclined to just do freely. We do have to- Oh, you stole the robe. You're right. I thought we left. As you're ushering them out the door, they're, like, in the doorway. He's also a telepath, he can hear our, our thoughts.
Yeah, it's in your head. Wow. Um, we do tend to have our own sorts of tests, as they were. Perhaps mine is a bit difficult, I know, but it is the test I need done in this moment All right. Okay. Later. I'm saying it sounds like they could just take a nap and then make another egg, you know? I think we- If MP's the problem
I think we have enough to do that. Like, that's like no MP, right? I bet for them, like a lot of MP is like 10. Like... The eggs are also different sizes too. They were? Does [01:13:00] it show how much they like us? Yeah, weren't they different sizes? I just thought the big one was like an egg and then- Vag- I mean, one of
No, the fish egg and then ... No. Yeah ... they were the same size. Were you about to say human egg? What, what do you mean? Yeah. Regular egg. Did you lay this egg? Clown, you know like a clown egg? Yeah. Five points to anyone who got that joke. Clowns reproduce like Namekians. They spit eggs out their mouths and then, then they hatch into more clowns I meant more like the, the literal clown eggs that exist, but yes, moving on.
Um- Wait, what? Another story for another day. Um. Okay. So you are on the road with Shimeji. Come on, Shimeji. Um, is there anything else you wanna do in Taproot while you're here? Re- renew any IP, shop around a little? Ooh, I'll renew my IP. How much is an IP? I believe it's 10 zenit per inventory slot. Okay. Oh, okay.
I will spend, uh, 50. Yeah. What do we gotta do to make some money? This pencil doesn't work. Oh, there we go. I don't know. Rob someone? No. I'm gonna bump [01:14:00] down to 70 zenit and refill that. I could, I could rob somebody for you. You already did. I could rob another person for you. You got two zenit because you robbed a farmer.
How many NPCs would we have to rob to get enough money to make all these inventory points back? Um, probably NPCs that aren't, like, humble farmers. I don't know. Geri, Geri, when they're walking, definitely goes over to Candle and goes like, "I helped you with those in, and I should get one of them." What are you guys talking about?
What are you, four? too. You come from a rich family. Give me a, give me his innit. Yeah, get your brother. Leave me alone. No. I walk away. I threaten the guy with my gun. Give me his innit. I walk away. I'm not, I haven't killed her. Who did you threaten? Nobody. Family dispute. Who's nobody? Uh. That sounds like a n- normal name in this area.
What you got? Going for a walk. Are you not concerned about this? What? I've just been hanging out with the baby. Imagine Squid's like ho- holding the baby's arms- Yeah ... to help it walk, right? [01:15:00] Yeah. Oh, we're gonna, you're gonna walk the whole way there. You're doing such a good job. It's so slow. You guys are like, it's legs are like this big.
Right. And it's like, it has to roll kind of because it's like- ... mushroom shaped. I, this is gonna sound insane. We're bringing it somewhere to learn. Uh, so we're leaving it there, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I thought we were... For a second there was a flash in my head that like we were gonna go there- Mm-hmm ... and we were gonna like teach it algebra and then come back.
And I was like, this thing doesn't even know where it is. Like- It doesn't even have a face. How does it see? That kind of stuff's only possible with montage. How- We don't have that kind of MP. How does it, how does it eat? I say again. Oh, I think like this. Just put some- I'm gonna put some of the decaying matter on the ground and stick its feet in it.
'Cause that's a mushroom. It is, you know? Yeah. It's- Please tell me it just has a mouth and you're just being a weirdo. No, it doesn't have a mouth. Okay. Good, good. Um. What did you just do? It kind of like sucks up the decayed matter out of the ground and then it like- Oh, I don't like that. You hear baby gurgling in your head.
Oh. [01:16:00] Oh, is that good? Yes. This is adorable. I wanna get this thing to this village, and I wanna go home. Let's go. All right. Uh, you guys are traveling. Oh, traveling. Please don't threaten anybody else in Abbrigio. We didn't threaten anybody. I roll a D6 for traveling, right? Uh, let's see. Well, you are in the forest, so you're rolling a D10.
A D10. I didn't grab one of those. Who knows what we're gonna fight with Shimeji on our side. Roll a one. All right. That means it's two. Well, if I roll- Oh. If I roll a one, two, or three- Oh ... we find, just we make a discovery. I may have leveled it up. Oh. And I won't. I instead rolled a six. Um, well, I think, yep.
That's- You encounter danger. Oh, man. Oh. Shimeji, no. All right. Quick, danger, throw the baby. No. It'll eat them. Everything has a half-life. As long as they're over 50, they're decaying. Guys. Goggles protect me. Guys. I'm drinking an elixir. That's... [01:17:00] You know what those are? That's baby food. What I have is in front of us is baby food.
You're gonna eat so well, Shimeji. We're gonna murder so many people for you. Oh, no. Okay I had had them front facing, but I turned it around so it doesn't have to see what I'm about to do to these people. Round four. You just watch as Bubbles burns them alive. I, if I miss, am I gonna burn half this city to the ground?
I have water. It's okay. Okay. All right. Let's... Yeah. I'm going to equip that other spear
Hmm. Let's see. What do I wanna throw at you guys? Okay Also, I still don't understand this. Does my magic defense go up by two? Is that what that means? Yes. Okay. It was next to the INS, so I was confused. Yeah, sorry. It's based in insight, is... I just kind of wrote it straight down. Mm. Jerry is ready to murder these people.
He's had enough of today. He has found out that his mom might have murdered his mom. Oh, God. And he would like vengeance for himself. [01:18:00] I'm- Right. One might say he's a goblin
So as you are walking, uh, you see what appear to be almost like little balls of dust that pop out of one of the bushes and roll in front of you. Oh. Um. Gross. And you're about to, you know- ... walk over them or kick them or whatever, and they pop little arms and legs out. Ooh, oh. Um. They're also babies. I'm just gonna show you.
All right. They have little mustaches and little- Oh my gosh ... feet. Oh my gosh, so cute. They're so cute. Um, one of them takes out a large dagger- Ah ... and threatens you. Whoa. There are, um, we'll say six of them. Okay. One of which is wearing a big pointy wizard's hat, the rest of which are wielding spears. All right.
So we know which one has the magic. Listen, they're not great at tactics. We can teach you the ways of the- Is that what he sounds like? Can you imagine if they keep just switching hats around- ... so they're trying to trick you? [01:19:00] Did my necklace break? Oh, no. Yeah. Oh. Oh, dude, can I have that? I'm hungry. I'll fix it later.
All right, so we need to do initiative. Okay. Of course. Um, pick an initiative leader, probably not the person with minus two. No, not with a- Or minus three. Or minus three. So- I don't think it should go down worse than that I have a minus one, and then my staff gives me minus two. Oh, yeah, then yeah. You're fighting for your life.
All right, I have- So Mou- Mouse, Mouse Man. Mouse Man? Mouse Man roll. What's going on? I'm sorry. I was dealing with my necklace breaking. Isn't it a one, isn't it initiative leader? Is it modified? Yes. It's a six. What do I have to roll for the initiative again? That is- Oh, are you our, our leader? I guess that's what's happening.
I already had my quartermain out, so I'm ready. Is it dex and dex or dex and insight? Dex plus insight. Let me see a sec. Minus any negatives you have to it. I have positives. A d10. Well, not, plus your minus three. Oh. You said dex and insight, right? Well, wait, it says when I roll dex and insight I get a plus one, right?
Well, yeah, so minus two. This is the highest. It's not even. It's still- Plus, plus two minus three. Okay. Yeah. Minus one. Oh. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, these things ambush the hell out of us. What am I rolling? I, I rolled a four. I just, I just had a [01:20:00] total brain fart. What am I rolling? You're rolling, uh- Um, dex and insight.
Yes. You have fabulous if you wanna use it. No, I'm gonna save it this time. Yeah. I, I use them too willy-nilly. And that is a nine. I got a four. I have an eight. That is a nine. That is a two plus seven. Okay, so nobody rolled above a 10. Nope. No. Not even close. Uh, who was the group leader for this? I was apparently.
Okay. Oh, I'm sorry, dex plus insight? Uh, yes. It would be a 10 for me. Okay. So you got a five on initiative. That does not beat, uh, their initiative, so they are gonna go first. Yay. Um. One of them is gonna take out a small rock and just chuck it at Jerry. Mm. I heard rocket and I was like, "Oh my God." Yeah. They just take out a bazooka.
A little dustbin bazooka. Um- When it fires it goes poof. That's a 10 to hit you. Uh- Regular defense ... I'm good. Okay. I think Jerry dodges that. All right. Uh, who's going first? Um, I'll s- I'll summon Woobles. Okay. And let Woobles go for me, 'cause I'm gonna [01:21:00] try and stay back as much as I can. Yeah, yeah. I have the baby.
You do have the baby. Um, so he'll go- You strapped the baby to Woobles? No. Run. Uh, I'm gonna try and mellow lick the- Yeah ... um, the, I don't know, the, whichever one's closest to me, I guess. Yeah, probably just one of the scouts. All right. Yeah.
Woo-hoo. Two sixes Yeah, that'll hit. Yay. So the high roll is a six, uh, plus 10, so 16. All right. Blup. Wee. Oh, oh. Wee. Sorry, I'm fixing my necklace. All right. Do you need help? No, I got it. Okay. Can wobbles be attacked? Yeah. Okay, great. They've got health. Uh, that one's gonna look angrily and its little grayish dust eyebrows point downwards, and it takes its knife and tries to stab you.
Oh, God. [01:22:00] Uh, that is a 14 to hit You know, I don't know how to defend it, so I'm going to um- I'm gonna guess it's just your defense? Oh, sure. Mine is eight, so. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Um. Yeah, I don't see anything about his defense, so. I'll take a look at Slayer. You- How many? Or Wobbles takes 12 physical damage 12 physical damage.
Okay. All right. Who would like to go next? I shall. Okay. Um, let's see here. Hold on. Let me get out my dice. It'll lay down my dice so I can feel special about this one. Um, okay. Uh, I'm going to, I'm gonna hit the one in the wizard hat. Uh, I'm gonna hit with flare
Okay. So, um I got a plus two to this. Okay. So is that... Uh, hold on. I'm trying to remember what I've rolled. [01:23:00] Uh
И так далее
Okay, so that is a 11 plus two to hit Yep, that will hit. Uh, okay. They take nine plus 25, so- Oof ... 34 damage. And then I can add more damage on top of it if I was feeling like it. Ooh. Well, they are in crisis. Do you want ... I could... No, I think I have to call that before. Okay, no. That's, that's all I do. Okay. Um, the wizard will go now.
Oh, no. Fireball. Ah. Yeah, come on. Come on, dust boy, let's go. Let's dance. He can't wait.
Float like a butterfly, sting like a candle. What you [01:24:00] gonna do? You gonna bite my ear off? Swags is hacked. I should not have gone three- I feel an ear hug coming ... using dice that don't look like normal dice for this game that uses all the dice. Ooh. Ooh. Um, that is an 18 to hit. That's a lot. Hmm. I think that might- What kind of defense?
Uh, magic. Yeah. Uh, you're gonna take 18 poison damage. Ah. As he just opens his mouth and this wretched cloud of poisonous gas comes out. That's a lot of damage. Am, am I poisoned, or...? What kind of creature? Uh, humanoid. Fudge. Ah. Yeah, you can't steal his bad breath, sadly. You know what? We- These things are scarcely humanoid, but...
We should have fought those rats. I don't know if the rats knew any rat magics, actually. Yeah. Rat magic. Am I poisoned, or...? My favorite type of magic. Um, no, you just took poison damage. Oh, cool. You're not poisoned. Great. Amazing. Love that. Um, okay. Terry, Bubbles? Did it look like that creature took the full fire damage?[01:25:00]
Yeah. Oh, no. Okay. No. Thank you for asking. Oh, no. They're made of dust. Soot, even. Oh, boy. Of course. Well, guys, this concludes my fun time here on- Is it still in crisis? I lied, he's not in crisis. Okay. Oh. Thank you so much for bringing that up, Angel. You're so welcome. Um, on a fresh one I'm going to cast anomaly.
Ooh, okay. Um- I hope it fails. Well, thank you. I was trying to help you, but fudge you. Um- You could've said nothing and it would be great. I just wanted to check so I can help. Don't say that, Schmickadoon might get hurt. Schmentrick, you're gonna be fine. What's his name again? Sch- Schmerick. Schmetschi. Not that one.
Schmickadoon. I said Schmickadoon. Schmick- So Bubbles just kinda puts his staff to the air and the light just starts to make it shine brighter and brighter, and he'll smash it against the floor. Okay. Um, a fresh one of the, [01:26:00] um... You hit one of the ones with swords, right? Or the, the daggers? I hit, I hit the wizard boy.
Oh, a, a fresh wizard boy. Um- There's no more wizard boys. No more wizard boys? They're all stabby boys that are fresh. Okay. The wizard boy's dead? No, he's there, he's just not freshly- Oh, okay. Are you gonna hit the wizard boy or the stabby boys? I'll take care of the wizard boy. All right. Well, the wizard boy, um- Everything we fight has fire resistance
as the energy from my staff goes to the ground and, like, covers him, he starts to get really soft. Oh. And so- Oh. Now the next time that they would suffer damage of a type that they absorb or are immune to, it'll be treated as it's vulnerable instead. Hey, there you go. Oh, so now they're vulnerable to fire.
Time to make soot out of soot
That's it. That was great. Thank you. I also don't know what a lightning bolt means. All right, um- I will find out I'm gonna go out on a limb ... another savvy boy is gonna run up to Jerry. Of course. I find you very threatening. They miss. [01:27:00] Yeah. Uh, Jerry. Roll away. Jerry's gonna... He's got the quarter main in hand.
He's gonna, he's gonna fight back at this dude that just tried to stab him. Yeah. So that's gonna be dex plus insight
That's a five plus a one makes it a six That will not hit. No. He's not used to using this thing yet. He's never used it before. Yeah, it's his first time. Um, okay. I forgot. Put five extra damage on the wizard boy. I forgot to add my, the cloak. It's at, it's at half. I forgot. Add my new cloak. Okay, so add two and a half damage.
All right? We round, I believe, up in this game. It does say. So three. Yeah. Yeah, three damage. I'm not rolling well today. This is like one of those days. I've been rolling like poop for the game so- This is, this is not my day ... except those two sixes. Something, something's wrong today. I'm sorry. Something's wrong with the dice today.
Yeah It's our goofy moods It is. These have a good- It is. We need to lock in, gang. Get the spread. We have to lock in and get- Oh, boy. I'm gonna say two damage for that one. You do better than I can. I think I'm [01:28:00] wrong, but You, you, you have a stronger jaw than I do. All right, uh, number th- four is gonna try to hit Candle.
That is a 10, uh, to hit regular. Die. No. Okay, great. Thanks. Um, the other one is gonna try to hit Wobbles. Oh, no. The fearsome beast that is attacking us. Ooh. Wobbles. I don't, I don't know if I've expressed it. Whenever anybody misses Candle, they do like a, like a Disney cartoon, like, "Whoa, like, out of the way."
No, Gery just goes, "Ole." They look like an inflatable tube man when they move. Um, some rubber hose. Whoosh. That is a 16 to hit Wobbles. Oh, yeah. Uh, Wobbles unfortunately will be taking 14 physical damage. He's three. And Wobbles pops like a balloon. It would be so mean, but a little funny if one of us shot Wobbles.
So mean. What's the problem? Gery's like, Gery's like... Gery can- Just remember, one of these things absolutely obliterated Gery and Candle. Oh, I know that. Oh, oh no, what a loss. Oh, no. Uh, the wizard is going to, like, [01:29:00] posture up and- ... point his staff at you. He's like two foot. It's like, "Oh." Yeah, they're smaller than you.
I like... Uh, that is a 16 to hit. Yeah, like... You're gonna take 19 poison damage. Oh. Are you okay? I have two health left. Oh, no. Yeah. You are very squishy. Good thing you've got your egg. Whose turn is it? Uh, now it's your guys' turn. Whoever would like to go. Can I- Did Charada reset, or no? Yeah, it did. Yes. Okay.
Can I go? Yes. Are you okay? I can heal myself, and I can definitely heal myself, not gamble, heal myself. Whoa. Um, no, sorry. No, no shade- Whoa ... but, like, it's, it's one of those things where like- Well, now I don't know if you can go. Can, can Gery go? Why? I'm going to die. Can I just- It should be Candle. Can you potion...
Oh, okay. I don't know. You guys have to agree. We don't need to waste inventory points. I have a spell that heals me. Oh, that's right, you do. I have a spell that heals, like, all of us. Oh. Until you roll very poorly. Would it heal Wobbles? Um, maybe. Hold on. Wait, let me read it. Let me know. It says specifically only player [01:30:00] characters?
It was everyone, but not Wobbles. Not Wobbles. Uh, tr- Invigorate, uh, champion, soothing their pain. Uh, I can, I can heal... Does Wobbles count as- Yeah, Wobbles is a creature, right? He's my buddy. He's my buddy. Yeah, he's a creature. Is anybody else taking damage at all? No. I'm good. Okay. So I can, I can burn 20 and I can heal both me and Wobbles for- Yes
40. Oh, perfect. All right. Wobbles is back to- 29 . Wobbles is- Back in business ... back to full force and health again. I only have 10 more health than Wobbles? Wobbles, does a, does a 13 hit you? Yeah. Do I have more health than you? Um, you're gonna take 11 physical damage. Oh my God. 'Cause one of them- 54 ... stabs you in the ankle.
All righty. I have 26. Uh, who's going next? Um, I'll go next. I love how you, the mouse has more HP than the man. Um, I will, uh, have- Look at you now ... yeah, [01:31:00] I'll have, uh, Wobbles now reinvigorated, gonna go for another mellow lick- Okay, yeah ... to whoever's close to him. Yeah, probably that same one. Yeah. Um,
and it's dex plus might- You're rolling so bad ... so a nine. I know. Um, no, that does not hit Oh, okay. Oh, well. All right, um, the next one is going to try to hit Jerry, uh, and miss. I already rolled for it. Um, Bub- or... Yeah, Bubbles or Jerry. And that's when Jerry whips out the quarter main again. Yes, round two. And try and hit this one.
Please. Oh my God. Oh. I got a four. What is going- Jerry's, like, shooting stray bullets everywhere ... what is going on? That was, like, Rick voice. Um- That's what my voice is sometimes when I go really, like... "I got a four." One is gonna waddle up to, uh, Candle, [01:32:00] try to stab him. I hate you. Uh, does a 12 hit them? Nope.
All right. They, they look sadly at their dagger. This fight's going nowhere. I look at them like, "You dork." Bubbles. This fight's literally going nowhere. Um, I'm gonna do the thing that I wanted to do. Hopefully you don't die before that. Oh, God. Oh, no. Bubbles is gonna set the forest on fire. I'm not setting the...
Well, I can be an accomplice of that. They're all vulnerable to fire now. Just one of them, unfortunately. Oh, just the one. Okay. Yeah. Um, so yeah, um, just to make it sound really cool. Ooh. Um, Bubbles is going to start to vibrate really quickly- Ooh ... and, like, basically appear in front of Candle. Mm. Oh. Create a s- like, a magic circle very quickly.
Like, you can bare- Like, it's... One second it's, it's not there, the next second it is. And then push Candle into it, and- Oh, God. That's me casting acceleration, so now you can take an extra turn on your turn. Ooh. All right, they are speedy cloud now. Ooh. All right. Thank you, Bubbles. You wanna see all my magic?[01:33:00]
I got something for you. Uh, one's gonna go for Candle. Just like one of those, like, card, like, things. Just like... . That's gonna miss. Next one's gonna run up at Squid. Ooh. Smushy. Uh, does an 11 hit you? Yeah. Well, luckily, they're nice and short, so- Yes ... it just stabs you in the ankle for- No ... 13 physical. My beautiful ankles.
Not my Achilles. Is Matthew okay? Is Schmelly all good? Not Schmatthew. Schmengeman. All right, um. Schmengeman Bines. Up the order. Yes. One is gonna go for Squid again, I guess. Oh my God, my beautiful ankles. That same one, it's just gonna go first in the order, I think. Um, and miss. Okay. They're going for your Achilles.
Who's up first this time? They should go first. I will go first. You're- Your Squidchilles. Super speedy.
Trying to... I can do two things, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. All right. I'm going to... How [01:34:00] many, how many left? All of them? Yes. All of them. Yes, all of them. Dude, we've done nothing. We have done nothing. How many are there? We've done everything. Six. Oh my God. You blew through, like, the boss battle so fast. I was like, ooh, I didn't get more.
Okay, let's do... I'll hit, I'll hit the wizard. Oh, the wolves? And I'll hit... Have we, have we hit any of the spear boys yet? No. One. Oh, no. Our wizards are so bad today. I'll, I'll hit that one and the wizard. Okay. I'm gonna use- Because we're idiot ... I'm gonna use, uh, Ignis. Okay. Oh my God. We're not getting a break tonight.
Oh, no. Flare ignores resistances. I forgot to mention that. Oh. Oh. Oh. It doesn't matter, they're vulnerable now. They'll take double. That's true. Um- I think, I guess we can put it back down ... you're going to jail, dog I, I, I... Ah. It's in crisis, just for you. Okay, finally. All right. Um, okay. Finally. Finally almost down.
Sort of. It's fine. It's fine. Everything is fine. Yeah, everything's great. Everything's great. Everything's great. Everything's wonderful. Um, everything's wonderful. My life is not in shambles. Um- Is Schmathy [01:35:00] crying in our heads? Schmathy? Is our little Schmellie boy all good? Schmellie? He's good for now. Oh, good.
All right, uh- Try to get out ... the shriel shrimp shady ... so burn 20, and then willpower plus, willpower plus insight. And yeah. Uh, that's a nine plus five. That's a f- 14 to hit. Yep. Okay. Uh, so that hits both of them for nine plus 15. 24 damage. All right. Both of them explode into soot- ... and blow away in the wind.
Beautiful. I was not expecting the... You just said they just explode. Next, with my other thing that I can do- I mean, they're just little balls of soot ... with my other thing I'm going to do, I'm going to burn three inventory points and gate there and take some of my mana back. Mana. Mana. Ma, ma, ma. Okay. It got real quiet in here.
It did. You killed them, it's just- Unsettlingly quiet. I, I like the idea that, like, that, like, these two pop and it's [01:36:00] tragic. Like, it's like- Yeah ... it's like the screen- Killed more people You've taken a life. You just see their screams fade out. Extremely- There's some dep- ... convenient technical difficulties There's some depressing themed, like, version of this, of this show where we're, where Candle's like, "I can't believe I took a life."
It's like a ball of thread. I'm gonna have to reflect on this for five seconds. Their little mustache falls to the ground. That ball almost said, "I probably had a wife and kids." My tragic backstory just affects me. No, they were horrible people, actually. Oh. Um, don't worry. All evil people are bad. All evil people- No, just these ones specifically.
Perfect ... all evil people are bad and deserve to be killed. No, just these ones. Um- Candle believes in the death penalty. All right. Well, it's gonna try to hit Candle, I guess, 'cause you did just kill his comrades. Right in front of him. Come on, dork boy. Uh, it rolled a three. What have you done with my father?
Yeah, no. It's too upset. Uh, okay, who's next? Um, I wanna go. All right. Ooh. Oh, my face hurts. I love to gamble, so- Oh, boy. Oh. No, stop gambling. Please don't make this nice and easy. You know what? You've [01:37:00] been really supportive to me. I hope you roll something- Wonderful Thank you. Roll, roll whatever option is the deadliest option.
Yeah, the more you blow- I think it would be foolish for me to get a nine or higher. I just need to roll. I rolled a two, so much better. Please tell me if you roll, like, if you roll, like, death to all of us, th- this poor child's just gonna be left on the road. I got a 10. Woo! Uh, did you up your willpower? I didn't know we were all gonna go, "Woo."
Yeah, I, I rolled a 12 for it, yeah. All right. Do you wanna go again? Yeah. Three, two, one. Woo! Woo! All right, um- I was too busy laughing at nothing. Oh, there's coins. Anything but a five. All right. That's a six. Woo! Might not be great. Woo! Let's see. Um, they all take 30 poison damage. Oh, my God. Okay. Yay. Buh, buh.
Um, they are all in crisis . Yes. It's the bloom. Sorry. I'm gonna s- Okay, can I go next? Uh, well, one of them has to try to stab- One of them tries to try to stab And for that, I give you- Yeah, Bubble's the better person ... $3. Oh, yeah. So I like to think that, um, like, Bubbles just, like, [01:38:00] dead stares them and just kind of, like, staff out and a wave of poison just smacks into them.
Love. Yeah, they all just- Love that ... like, get a little smaller. Oh. Face my miasma. Uh, does a 15 hit you? Oh, yeah. All right. You take 12 stab damage. I'm not squishy, but I'm so easy to hit. Okay, uh- Can Jerry go? Jerry may go, if everyone finds that agreeable. Okay. Is that agreeable? That's fine. How many are left?
Uh, four, all of which are in crisis. H- Are the two that attacked me still alive? Yes . Okay. I haven't, haven't really been keeping track, but yes, just for you. We're gonna, uh, we're gonna do... I'm gonna roll, and we're gonna go for barrage on the two that attacked me. But it only happens if I, if I get the attack
So we're gonna go for, um, barrage with the quartermain. We're gonna keep trying with this quartermain. Yeah. Let's [01:39:00] see. I'm doing different dice. Oh, my God, I got a seven. Doesn't hit. Darn. There's the legendary- You should have a fabulous point if you wanna get anything done this fight. Oh, come on, you can. I am gonna use a fabulous.
Yeah. But I'm gonna have to re-roll. I just re-roll? You, yeah, you pick one of the dice to re-roll. They were both bad. Four out of eight isn't horrible. Okay. We'll keep the four. We'll re-roll the D10. Come on. Come on. Hey. Yeah, so I got an 11. That will hit. Woo. Cool, so I'm gonna spend, uh, what was it? You spend to choose one option.
Okay, so I lose... So I go down to 24 MP to do barrage and my attack is the highest roll plus 12. Okay. So that's 18. To two of them? Is that what- Yeah ... barrage does? Yeah. Okay. It gives me multi, so I'm doing it for two. I can do up to three. Awesome. The ones that hit you exploded. You shoot them and they just
Finally. [01:40:00] All right. Great job, Gary. Gary's just like, "You do work." Those two were the last two that were in initiative, so, uh. I'm trying to... I didn't get to use that. Squid and bubbles are at 300. I didn't even get to use the Crimson Gloves. Gives me plus two bonus to my accuracy checks. Oh, boy. Oh, boo hoo. Oh.
Not so easy, is it? I'm not trying to be a lawyer.
Help me. I'm a writer, not a reader. Don't out me like that. I'm a writer, not a reader. I'm gonna try and hit one. David's terrible secret. My terrible secret. He wants to make money. Is that, and my terrible secret, I'm going, I'm studying to be a lawyer despite all those crimes I've committed. Is to keep yourself out of jail?
It's the main thing. Your Honor. No. All right. How can I- Thanks for playing ... how can I break the law if I'm meant to uphold it? You're welcome. All of us here, a bunch of fakes. Uh, okay. These two, illiterate. There are two left Yeah. I'm a writer, not a reader. Yeah. Uh, I think they're gonna panic and try to run away.
[01:41:00] No. Mm. Don't let them. No. Okay. Well, they're gonna use their action to probably do something that's not attacking. What's that? Can Shmege do an attack on them? Shmege threw- Throw the baby. No. No. Throw the baby. He'll eat them. They're not- They're decaying matter, so it's decayed matter Not really the kind that he wants to eat.
Well. Uh, okay. Well, they're gonna skip their turn 'cause they're running away. I was about to say, how do you know that? But that's at the DM. Who'd like to go next? I do know that 'cause I said so. How do you know what this creature you're doing- Uh, who would like to go? I always draw. Oh. Can- Oh, y- yeah, you're like...
All right, whatever ... Jerry, Jerry wants to- Okay, yeah. ... finish things off. He's going with the quartermain again, and he's gonna use another 10 for barrage if he lands it. Oh, please. Oh, please. Don't forget your plus two. I'm gonna plus two bonus. Yeah. I know. I won't this time. Oh. Nine plus four plus two, so that's 15.
That will hit. Woo-hoo. All right. So that's gonna be... I'm doing multi, so we're going down to 14 MG. So that's gonna be my highest roll plus 12. So that's [01:42:00] nine plus 12, so that's 21. Mm-hmm. Yes. All right. They both explode into little streaks of soot on the ground. Yeah. Um- Al- also, I forgot, my range- You're out of...
I'm out- ... weapon mastery gives me an accuracy check bonus as well. I would've had a plus four on all these accuracy checks. Oh my God. Yeah. And so- And we're learning. We're learning to play the game with you guys. That's why we're here. Yeah. And we're out of combat. Yeah. So you drop out of combat. Uh, Shmege is safe.
You are all relatively- Shmichael ... unscathed. How's Shmichael? Doing great. And as you- Shmary is doing all good? Not Shmary. Jerry with an S-H. Uh- The S-H is silent. As you guys are gathering your bearings, I think that is a great time for us to gather our bearings and take a break. Yeah. Don't go anywhere. We will be back shortly.
Thanks. Bye[01:43:00] [01:44:00] [01:45:00] [01:46:00] [01:47:00] [01:48:00] [01:49:00] [01:50:00] [01:51:00] [01:52:00]
Welcome back. Um, our group just got done exploding a bunch of soot sprites in the woods, uh, in the service of protecting our precious cargo, Shmeji, the baby- Shmeji ... mushroom elder. Shmeji. Mushroom elder in training. Um, and you are back on the open road. Anything happening? You know, the party- I- ... has a lot to think about.
I love how that it's like this is a mushroom elder in training, but he's literally just a baby. Yeah. He's the next elder. Oh my God. He- he's just gotta cook a little more. He's the widdle guy. I like the- He has to cook 'cause he's a mushroom. I like to think that when they establish that they're the new [01:53:00] elder, they just grow up immediately, and they're like, "It's time."
He's suddenly, like, ripped. He's like, "I'm ready, Father." Thank you for bringing me to the village. We're gonna cross the threshold, and he's gonna turn back and be like, "Yeah, thanks, guys. Be real. It's been great." Um, so, uh, Jerry, you thought about what you're gonna say to your... Well, not your parents. Say, "Dad." To your aunt and uncle.
We see 'em? No, no. Haven't, haven't really been thinking about it. Was, was busy and killing some folk. Yeah, but, like, are you thinking about it now? You could stop asking me. Okay. Did I ask you how you felt about your issues? No, you just pushed me into them. Exactly. Okay.
crazy weather we're having. Uh. I would like to submit these three random three plastic coins you gave me to get three zenny please. Thank you very much, DMs. I don't think that's how it works. But you know what? Just for you. You find three zenny on the ground. No, it's [01:54:00] a one-time deal. Yeah, you're walking and everyone's like really awkward, and you're like, "Whoa."
And you find three zenny on the ground. I can't wait to spend these. On what? I don't know. Yeah. Whatever's at the shop. Uh, you get some cute pins for your little vest. 30% off an inventory point. Oh, wait, hold on. There, we get to the... We get there- Inventory one ... and they're selling Schmigle pins. I don't know what his name is.
Perfect. His, his, Schmegle, like, like- Schmegi. Schmegi. Schmega dude. His name is Schmegi, come on. Schmegi. It's a cute, fun mushroom friend. The Schmugstins. I'm crying. Maybe they'll have like a random hourglass or like a- No conversations on the road. Are any happening? Uh. Do you wanna do some role play tonight?
Jerry's pretty quiet.
Everybody's in a really awkward moment at the moment. Wait, I just wanna- Jerry, Jerry found out his birth parents are dead and potentially killed by the woman who raised him. Squid and Candle hate each other at this moment. Is that what- And Bubbles is Bubbles ... well, well, well, it's, it's, it's, [01:55:00] it's hatred. Uh, so- Candle.
Uh, you know, Bubbles, we've been seeing a lot from everybody else's parents. Do, do you wanna talk about yours at all? Or... Sure. There is, like, some caves that- Oh, you're from a cave? Uh, I sleep in caves a lot of the time. Nice. And sometimes they have, like, little portals to, like, other places and stuff, and- Like, places on this planet?
Mm, I don't think so. Ooh. I think they're, like, dimensions or something like that. I don't know. Jerry just looks at Bubbles like, "What?" So where- Bubbles lives between dimensions ... who made you? People that look like me, my parents. Like other penguin folk? Yeah. Okay. I just- Are they from here or the caves? We're from there.
Where is there? Through the portal in the caves. Are you, are you interdimensional? I think so. Ooh. That's crazy that we're just finding that out. That explains so much. You never asked. I am so sorry we [01:56:00] never asked about this. This explains a lot. It really does. Well, have you seen a lot of people that look like me?
No, but, I mean, I j- it's ridiculous. We live in a world of magic and steampunk. I don't know who we're gonna find. I was gonna say, like, I, I, I j- I, it's just com- We're carrying a mushroom baby. We're carrying a mushroom baby. We're hunting down a cat that's also a clown. I'm a clown. He's a cat. Squid's mom is hot.
He's a cat boy. I can't stress this enough. Oh, no. He's a cat boy? Yeah, he's not a full cat. So a m- oh. So he needs to die. Oh, God. What's he wearing? Whoa, wearing what? Whoa. First question. He's wearing a little ruiner's outfit. We need to make sure he's an appropriate cat boy. He's wearing, like, top hat, like, suit.
Okay. He's a lovely cat boy. He's a lovely cat boy- But- ... but he still must die ... velvet. Yes. Bow tie. Uh, that's, that explains a lot. Does it? Uh, yes. Yeah. Yes, it does. Do you miss it? I thought you were like... Oh, whoa, weird question. Good question. Not really. It's a weird question. Um, my family's cool. Like, I haven't seen them in, like, a long time.
I was gonna ask, can you go back? [01:57:00] I think so. I'd have to find a portal, but, like- How old are you? Would you like us to hunt one down for you? I don't know, maybe in like the 20s or 30s. You don't know? I don't know. Do years work the same way here as there? Clearly not. No, I don't really keep track of them.
You, you come from a very nonchalant society, don't you? Um, there's not a whole lot from where I'm from, but like, we make- Would you say that penguin folk are like chill? They're- Rad? We grow up together and then like maybe like a few years in, we kinda just leave the coop and then we go travel. Go through a portal or just around?
Just around, but like, um, some of us end up finding the portals and like I ended up in one of these caves, and I found a lot of like books and other trinkets. Are you the only you you've met? Well, there's like all of my family and like- Well, I mean like around here. But like you. Oh, uh, no, [01:58:00] I've seen a couple.
Oh. But I've traveled- Are any of them evil? Not that I know of. 'Cause like I, I mean, I don't wanna scare you at all. You... It's kind of a blessing that you're on our side- Yeah ... for most of these conflicts. You do kinda turn people into paste.
Really helpful. Really helpful. It's great. No, for us, great. For villainy, I imagine also pretty great. Well, not everyone. But not for us. Not all penguin folk, um, do magic and stuff, so I kinda just picked it up from the books that I've read and like traveling around. I've been to all the kingdoms just 'cause why not?
Do you have a favorite? Uh, this one. That's why I live here. It has lots of caves and rivers, and I can kinda just swim around, eat all the seaweed and kelp that I want. Are you vegetarian? No, not particularly. Okay. That's horrifying.
I mean, you're not a vegetarian either, which is equally horrifying. Yeah, but I'm also not a [01:59:00] seven-foot-tall penguin from another dimension. I think that's less scary than you being like- I, I think- ... like little cherry just- I was gonna say, I'd rather see a big penguin eat like a person than like a man-sized mouse go up to a like...
I gotta get my protein up. I like these gains. How do you think, how do you think he has those abs, dude? It's true. That's insane. I'm bulking. It, it's- Like I can show you one of my homes if we- Oh, wow. Yeah ... go near a river and stuff. Sure. Like there might be a couple supplies or something there that might be interesting to look at.
Um, I don't really keep track of the portals, so like I don't know if they even stick around, so I doubt- Hmm ... we'll find one of those. Hmm. I would say you could pre- pretty easily find, like the amount of the forest you're traversing today, you could stop at one of your little, your little pads. Yeah. Little hovels.
No, his bachelor pad. Come on. [02:00:00] Where Pablo will be meeting him. That'd be awesome. I'd love to see where you live. Would you, Miss Minnie? But yeah, I, um, I came here, did a lot of traveling, and then tried to meet people, and not really good at meeting people, so like you saw that I know not really anyone's names, but kinda know everyone's names.
Like I see people and I think I recognize them, and I'm like, "I know you. I'm probably the only scary penguin that you've seen- ... so you probably know me. No? Okay. Cool." You definitely have noticed- You know our names, right? ... that a lot of people around here are like, "Oh, yeah, you're Bubbles," even though they've probably only talked to him like once or twice.
Because- Yeah ... you got our names down. Which one is which? Yeah. You got our names down, right? Squid, Kindle, Cherry. It took a while, but I remembered them. If you go back- Which one is which?
Gery, Candle, Squid [02:01:00] Are you pointing to Squid or Baby? And then, um, Schmidlock That was really close. Mm-hmm. That was really good. Schmidlock. Its name is Schmidodoon. There we go. I still- I thought it was Schmichael ... I still get Schmengerman's name wrong all the time. Shanty. Boy, am I. He's gonna grow up so confused.
I'm not always great at remembering people, but, like, I've been around y'all plenty of times, so, like, maybe if you go back to episode one, like, you won't really hear me say names that often, but I've got them down on lock. Episode one? You know, like in, like- No, I get that. That makes sense ... like, you know, I open my journal, and it's just, like, the adventures of me and my friends and- Oh, that's what you were referring to.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. What is- You're such a great artist. Thank you. You're welcome. Do you have a picture of Squid's mom? I do, actually, and then I'll flip to that. Love this detail. It's always from the neck up. Such- It's very modest ... perfect likeness. Mm-hmm. Your mom has beautiful eyes. She does. You c- you can get lost in them.
Deep as the sea. And then I flip over to a page of Gery, and I'm just like, "And you see Gery." And then there's, [02:02:00] like, the question marks of, like... So he absolutely looks like, like that other mouse, right? There's- Yeah ... there's Butterscotch in all caps, really big letters, right next to Gery's face, question marks.
And it's just, like, the other names that I heard. Yeah, that guy didn't really wanna talk to us, so we- What happened? He was like, "I don't like your vibe." Gery threatened him with a gun. You guys have such a past. No, I didn't. Like it... No, I didn't. I just maybe ate some of his blueberries and may or may not have, have threatened him with a gun.
Look- Mm ... and we may or may not have, you know, scared all the workers. Do you still have his keys? Yeah, of course I do. You stole from him? Why would you, why would you threaten and steal from your cousin Nut? Because we don't know if he... Because we don't know if he's Gery's cousin yet. The only thing that we do know is that they look alike, and that that guy wouldn't tell us anything more because he was like, "Well, I'm scared of you guys," or something.
But my parents might also be dead. Yeah, your parents are- I mean, they probably are 'cause I wasn't raised by them, but, like- Right. But we- I thought you said that your bird mom was alive. Bird mom is. I'm sure. Mouse parents, no. You have mouse [02:03:00] parents? Where do you, where do you think he came from? From the bird.
No, bird make... Well, bird. Bird doesn't make mice. Like a stork or something, right? Oh. Oh, yes. Yeah. Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes, he did. Is your mom- That's how that works in this dimension too, Bubbles. Is your mom a stork? I mean, not to be too personal, but like... Did we ever establish what my mom is? I believe she's an owl, right?
Yeah, that's what we said. Yeah. Ooh, very nice. She's a owl. Not very nice. Uh, like a good-looking owl? What kind of owl are we talking? What do you mean a good... Are you trying to hit on my mom? Yeah, how hot's your owl mom? How hot is the owl Jerry's mom? We're not having this discussion. Jerry's mom. Don't have that.
Um, look, all I'm- It's from your trip to my kingdom. Look, all I'm saying is, um, we stole his house keys because he refused to tell us anything. So I figure if we break into his house, there's gotta be a photo album or something. And if we see somebody who looks like Jerry's mom and dad, then that just at that point tells us- How would we know what they look like?
Because they'll look like you, like the other people we've [02:04:00] interacted with who look like you An asylum. And maybe you'll have, like, some kind of flashback where all of a sudden you're a little mouse baby and, like- In Crime Alley. And you s- Mama, mama. You have, like- Does Jerry- The pearls drop to the ground.
No. Does Jerry have, like, a- Why do they go down Crime Alley? Does Jerry have, like, a- Slime Alley ... like, a birthmark or something? Like, something that would identify- He doesn't have a birthmark. He just has, like, a scar across his face. Oh, no. Oh, it's like crisscross? Yeah. Oh, gosh. Oh. Did I not expl- Has, has it been since you've been a baby or, like...?
No, that's from, like, him doing stuff. Okay. Doing mouse things. See what mouse mice do. Yeah. Do you have anything that would identify you as an infant? No. All right. I was just a nor- Jerry was just a normal mouse infant. No. Doing as mouse infants do. Yeah. Yeah. Being- All right. Let's deliver the- Being pink.
Let's deliver this box. Oh, disgusting. Yeah, right? Aren't mouse babies, like, pink? They are. Oh, yeah. With, like, the giant closed eyes. Yeah, that's true. That's, that's horror. Mama. [02:05:00] Yeah, I don't know why you guys are- Mama. I don't know why you guys are being so harsh on Chimichanga. I eat cheese. Oh, my. I heard him eat cheese.
I'm sorry. Have you seen baby penguins? They're absolutely adorable. That's true. They're... Baby mice are nasty looking. Anyways, let's keep moving. Yeah, um, as you were discussing the, you know, ranking who was the cutest baby probably, um, you cross- I, I came out fully formed. Fully formed clown. Mm. You walk over a bridge- Oh
and you realize you're near the river now. Yay. Um- That's right ... if you'd like to take the party to your place. Cute decorations. Oh, yeah. So I'm like, "You know, actually there's one not that far from here." And, like, you all could totally, like, just take, like, walk through the river, and I can, like, kinda just, like, swim and lead the way.
Um, this one- Ooh, are you gonna go fish mode? I've got a baby- You could go- ... so maybe at, like, uh... Let's see ... we have to ford the [02:06:00] river. Well, for this one- Jerry, can you- ... in particular, if you, like, follow me down pretty far, um- Under the water? Do you want this baby? You guys can follow on land, and then, like, as we, like, kinda go, like, into a certain area, it'll get more wooded.
And then, like, the cave will kinda go down underneath. You'll see me disappear for a bit, and then, like- You guys can come this way. And then, like, you guys can kind of like go a little bit further and there, you'll actually like see a small cave system. You just have to kind of like look inside. Ooh. It's like really dark until like I smack some like bulbs that have like little magic orbs in them, and then the lights kind of pop on.
So if you've ever like looked into like basically like the overhead light of a cave system, like you can see- Mm-hmm ... inside. You guys can just jump down. There's a little bit of dry areas. There's like really old furniture that Bubbles has obviously dragged from various places and stuff like that. There is just like a few, um, pools that you probably assume that's where Bubbles probably sleeps at, 'cause there's no bed in this area.
Mm. And there is just like plenty of like [02:07:00] seaweed and like stuff like that, that like he's kind of like stuffed the entrance of where, where he swam into. So that gives him like kind of like a little makeshift door. Oh. Mm. But other than that, if you guys jump down into the area, like there is just junk.
Like full on just any weird piece of metal- Bubbles' hoarder ... contraption. Yes, fully. Like it... There's like maybe two or three pieces of like actual furniture. And then everything is just piles of like random stuff, whether it's like seashells, whether it's like jars of like either like really cool things or like, um, like when you keep the insects like- Like little jars?
Like not like- Terrariums? Not, not terrariums. Just like when they're like, they're dead, but like they are like not stuffed or whatever and everything. Oh, like pin boards? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And stuff like that. So he has like a little bit of everything. Um- He's a taxidermist. Basically. There's like moldy food in some places.
Wow. There's hourglasses. Just like any piece of junk you can think of, it's in [02:08:00] here. But then there's also like books as well that are kept in a separate area so they kind of stay dry and not damp, so. Oh, my gosh. This is like merman fish folk heaven. A dinglehopper. Shimmeji puffs a spore cloud at you. Why?
I don't know. Also, Gery's definitely not holding Shme- Schmegadoon. He's in the hood of his cloak. Yeah. It just like- Do you need, do you need a hand? Just put it up in a little, like a little man bun with the fork. Jerry takes Schmiggadoon and like, like this, and lifts him over so he's upside down now. Oh, my God.
And he looks over at all the moldy food, and he just places him on the moldy food. Eat. And he starts, like, trying to clean himself off. You're not great with kids, Jer. Is that delicious? Who said I would be? You guys are my first guest. Welcome. Oh, my goodness. I'm a [02:09:00] mouse man with a pistol. You think I have a lot of kids around?
And if you go deeper into the dark, there's like, random like, old technology that I have no idea what it does- Ooh ... but it's been here longer than I have, so. Okay. Candle immediately goes into the darkness. Oh, sorry. Do you want me to bioluminesce so you can see? I can luminesce myself. I, I mean- You put me on fire, so
I got a little candle flame, so. No worries. Oh. It's all right. Aw. So yeah, as you travel, travel like, deeper into like, the caves and stuff like that, like, you won't see anything too crazy unless you go, like, very far. But like, you'll just see, like, random like, very, very old technology that probably doesn't look like it should be as advanced as it is.
But like, none of it does anything. It's built into, like, the walls and stuff. And like, you find more and like, you can al- you can also see p- places where Bubbles has just ripped parts off of the walls and stuff like that- ... just to have his little trinkets and everything. So it's a weird little place down here.
Is [02:10:00] any of it, like, usable, or? You wouldn't recognize this at all. Like, you almost wonder if this is something, like, from the portals because, you know, you've done a lot of work specifically with- technology or magic tech, and this is just nothing like anything you've used. Hmm. Do you have a sketch of these, uh?
Yeah. And like, I'll grab like a different sketchbook, one that I haven't been using at all, and like it's just different pictures and like some of them look full on like fantasy in a fantasy world. Like, you're just like that there's no way that exists and stuff, and like they're from like different caves.
But they do exist, it just to your brain it just looks crazy. Can I borrow that? Sure. Can we slip, borrow for multiple days? Oh, okay. Um. I know what stealing is. And then I, I'm gonna like go up to it and I like, I'm just gonna rip off a piece. Just like whatever seems [02:11:00] loose. Yoink. Yeah. Boop. I just look at like, "You get anything good?"
I don't know. This is a nightmare idea. That's the fun of it. No. Just stick your hand into the wall sometimes and you just find random bits. Ooh. Ooh, no. No, that sounds un-fun. That sounds very, very un-fun. Um- Did this stuff come with you? Mm, not with me specifically. Do, do you know where this is from? Mm-mm.
Do you know what it does? Nope. Is there, like, an on switch or anything? Is there, like, a lever? No. Again, this is pretty incomprehensible to you. Like, you can make sense of where magic might course through it, but you're not sure how it would, like, jumpstart, what it would even do if it was turned on. I hit it.
Nothing happens. All right. A piece crumbles off. I've done that a lot. Again, it's- Do you have any other pieces? That's how I got these pieces over here. Ah. No. I'll just compile the scrap. Again, this is, like, not of this world. Oh, okay. Got it. And it has s- l- several large chunks where [02:12:00] Bubbles has clearly, like, put a fist in and taken out, like, a- Or did the same thing where I just banged it and something came out, and I'm like- Yeah
"Yes, winner." Uh, so- You're gambling. My gotcha system. You are pretty ... Like, yes, I am ... you're pretty sure you couldn't fix this even if you tried. But you could try to glean something from it about, like- I- ... how this other world's- How- ... magitech works ... how might I glean? You can do an insight plus will power check, I guess.
Something funny? It was. It was. No, I didn't mean to do that one. That doesn't count. Uh, that's a seven plus 10, 17. Yeah. Um, what you have in your hands, it looks almost like a little matrix that, like, magical signals could be sent through. Um, very delicate, and you're h- it's a piece of it, so you're not sure what you're looking at.
Um, out of character, this is almost like [02:13:00] the stone carving version of, like, a circuit board, but for, like, complex magical signals to run through. But this is just, like, again, this is not of this world. This is maybe of Bubbles' world, maybe from a different portal entirely. I'm gonna just, I'm gonna just give it some juice.
I'm just, boink, you know? Yeah. You see the magic, like, feed itself into these little circuits and, like, run through, and then they run out of space and just fizzle out.
Угу We could probably use this to make a bomb No My home will not be used for such things We do need to take care of some factories The idea is in my head. You can't get rid of it. Put it back I put it in my pocket Put it, put it No Sorry, sorry. It's too interesting. I can't put it back. You know, it's junk.
It's, it's interesting junk. W- do you wanna hold onto it? I'm not putting it back. It's too cool. [02:14:00] You can keep it as long as you don't turn it into a bomb Fine. All right. Um, I would consider you guys as resting right now. So if you'd like to refresh, if you'd like to form or edit any bonds before we head back out, you can do so now.
Otherwise, if you think your bonds are where they should be, we can head back out on the road. I think I'm gonna- There's a floor, there's a couch, um, for the, the couple pools that are here. Why do I get the floor? 'Cause that's where you sleep
Any bubble mix, any, like, thing you can think of- Oh ... like, I have it. Like, like I have sea salt too in there. I would... I haven't had a good scrub in so long. Uh, Shmeji has passed out in the moldy food. Nice. Good. Get a good little nap. There's plenty of it. Shmejdoon's sleeping. I pick a pool and some, some salts, and I go to town.
Yeah. If anybody wants any random trinkets that do absolutely nothing, I promise you it's here. Is there any type of gum lying around? Oh, yo, no way. And I, [02:15:00] I reach into a pile. I lost this bottle of clown juice like eight, like eight weeks ago. Oh, yeah, I remember when that washed up. Dude, it's the green kind.
Oh. Oh. You want some? What's that taste like? Oh, green. Oh. You ever had green? No. Let's go. Here, open it. And I, I hold it under your nose. It smells like glue I've eaten glue before. He asking about guns? Uh, I said, "Is there any guns lying about these trinkets?" As Gerry looking at this and he's finding weapons.
Yeah, there's a couple, there's a couple rusted out guns. Oh. Yeah. Nothing as cool as your quarter main or whatever. Nothing as cool as my quarter main. There's just not a real gun in this place. He's the most, like, water flavoring straight man. There's probably every weapon you can think of here- It is that
but none of it's useful. Yeah. In its condition. Do you like quarter main? I was looking it up. I like, I like texture in my drink. Definitely a real thing. Oh, there's textures? There's textures. Yeah, no. Here, try it. Quarter main's a person. It happens as you drink it. I, I will find it highly offensive if you do not try it.
No, it's a magic item with a magic being. Yeah, I assume. Part of my culture. Do you promise not to make bombs out of my house? Well, yeah. [02:16:00] I'll promise more. What? Just take it. Just drink, drink the juice. Drink the juice. I don't drink it, but I take it. The bag of it. You should just put it into your pocket. Do you put it in your po- Touché.
Well... And I pull out the old one. Good old brown. It can't be good for your insides. It's not.
Is there any in the middle- I'm blind ... potions of friends? I'm blind. I'm blind. Oh, boy. Wash it out. Oh. Wash your eyes out. No, hold on, hold on. Oh, it's back. Okay, we're good. Jerry, you want some? No. All right. I, you know, there's a lot of things- All right ... I need and I'm not gonna drink brown. Are we editing any bonds?
Are we- No ... talking other bonds? I'm good with mine. Are we gonna get attempt to edit any bonds? Just gonna try to talk to Candle offer- Oh, boy, this is gonna go- Offer the- ... this is gonna go well ... offer the place by my pool. You wanna join me in my [02:17:00] pool? That's not what I say. Hey, you wanna join me in my pool?
It's got some good salt soaks in it. It's really good for the scales, you know. Um, I'm made of skin. Ah, it's nice for that. It's just your feets. Pop your feets in. Just the feetsies? Yeah, okay, and I put my, like, full, like, boots and everything in. Nice. Ugh. I mean it. Your big clown shoe boots. The water flows, so it's okay.
Sorry if I sounded mad before. I, it's 'cause I was mad.
But I just want you to know that I'm really proud of you, and I'm really... You reinvented your whole self, and that's, that takes a lot. I just kinda ran away and did this, you know? And I'm sorry I lashed out. Um, [02:18:00] I'm just that kinda guy. That's on me. I didn't... I, I think I hurt your feelings, and I, I didn't mean to.
I'm glad that we're on this journey together. Squid, I made a machine that pumps poison into your home. And I got upset. I-
And, and but it's not you, and it's not fair for me to put that all on you and to tell you how to deal with it. I... The salts help.
What do you think of your mom dating Todd? Just, just Jerry's gone from s- stoically staring up at the hole to stare at the nighttime sky to looking at you- Trying to think. Trying to remember my- ... Daniel with just sheer, like, contempt When, when, when- I mean- Was she dating Todd when you were... You know, how old were you?[02:19:00]
No, Todd's like Avery and Adele's dad, so like- He's- ... the- they're maybe three or four now So when did, when did Todd show up for you? Oh, like three or four years ago. Yeah. And when that happened, were you thrilled about it? I mean, if I'd kept track of all the dudes in my house that were like, "Call me Dad," I...
It's fine. It's okay. Oh, uh, but- Yeesh ... the point is, wouldn't you have liked a little say in that? I can't control the seas Yeah, well Yeah, imagine- Calypso's a force of nature Yeah Like literally. I think she might actually be a force of nature with I, I don't know if you heard the words out of my mouth. I didn't, I didn't control when I ate or when I slept And that's not okay No.
No, and it's, it's not[02:20:00]
I just, I don't know. You know, truth be told, I don't know what to do. Me neither. I was content being dead. That's the truth, right? Like, I can sit here and I can say to you and to everybody else that I am, you know, that Phoenix Steamheart is still around. They aren't. They are dead. Hey. Their, their parents made sure of that, and I understand that as them, I had power, not really.
I had something, but- Candle ... yeah. You don't need to be a phoenix to burn bright, dude. Aw. And I'm so happy- ... to have met Candle. Geri. And we can do this, whatever this is. I- And I'm glad that you're here now. [02:21:00] We're gonna figure it out. Yeah, sure. Truth is, I don't want to. Figure it out? Truth is, I really, um, you know, pas- I, I, I've been kind of bothering Geri a lot, but, you know, truth is, I really, really want to run away so bad.
Oh my God. Yeah. That's a lot easier Yeah Do you ever... This is gonna sound insane. Do you ever have an image of somebody in your head, and then when you see them again, the entire painting is just destroyed? That's what happens when you build people up in your head. I just... You know, when you were yelling at me, I couldn't get this image out of my head, right?
Truth be told, I thank you for the apology, but- What made me the most [02:22:00] angry was
It wasn't you ripping into me like that. It was
That I kind of agree with you, and that she, she doesn't see that, and that this person that I put so much value and so much care into isn't real. And she and her mom and my mom and none of them care what I have to say. So, you know, we're gonna get these eggs, and we're gonna go back, and we're gonna, you know, get...
A- and then, then I'm gonna say, "Hey, quit it with the poison." And then it's... And it's not gonna work. So, so yeah. The, the romantic painting I had for myself as a kid. You know, I, I didn't decide one day to be dead. I... It was a [02:23:00] gradual decision, right? And, and then I had this idea that I'd come back, and they'd all change and be better and different, and they're just worse.
And you were right. It's those... It's their job. It should've been my job to stay and to make things better, but I couldn't. No, Kendall- And they can't ... you're one person. And they were always like this. She wasn't. She was different. And now she's, now she's gone, too We gotta do it without her. And I think we can
I, I think there is a little poeticism to it, right? The, you know- Your guys' home deserve to live even if it means the vision of mine doesn't, and I'm okay with that You're always welcome in my house [02:24:00] Trust me, I already know that We have a lot of guest rooms Your mother's a wonderful woman Oh, my God. She is I just- She makes this house a home She does I like, I like pat him on the back of the scales and I go like, "Thanks for the apology."
I'm not. I'm fine. Really
I know you're gonna be okay And we'll figure out what this world is gonna look like
Sure you don't wanna take the boots off? I can't. Oh. I'm sorry, I, I didn't mean to ... No, no, it's fine. It's a fire clown thing. The, the, the, the spell, the, the- Oh ... the spell, the reason they, they haunt- Would you guys like to- ... [02:25:00] every time I walk ... update your bond at all? Also, I, I leave you spiraled to my home. Yeah.
Yeah. I like Squid became oddly philosophical during that conversation. Oddly philosophical? I'm super... Yeah, come on. So can I only do one, or do I... 'Cause, like, I studied squish phil- uh, squid philosophy. Uh, you can- ... can keep the remaining bond- Fish philosophy? ... if you want, but you can update it Oh, my. Fish philosophy.
So phoenixes are fire birds, and they die, and they make ashes, and Candles also make ashes, and Candle has fire powers? I get it. Jerry, Jerry's, Jerry's just been staring up at the moon through the hole in the ceiling, just like- "Yes, Bubbles, that's, that's where the name came from." Candle overhears you and goes, "Oh, that does make sense."
Ooh. Oh. Oh. I get it. Oh, it's my name. You're never gonna guess why Squid is called that. Are you, are you half squid? Like, way back. Mm, like a great- [02:26:00] Yeah ... great, great, great, great, great grandfather ... great, great, great, great, great squid. 15% squid. You're one thir- Kraken ... you're one thirteenth squid. How... Do you talk to your dad at all?
What's the situation there? You don't really deem Todd like a father. No. I don't, I don't talk to my dad. Why? Can I ask why? Whalers? Oh my God. The fact that whalers also exist in this universe is so cursed. It means a completely different thing. All right. Oh, nobody tell him that before we, before we switched to coal, we used to use whale oil.
Based on our last conversation, can I add mistrust with Candle? Uh, yeah, if you would like to open a mistrust bond with Candle, I will allow it. Do you just want the box back? Jerry's just kinda been existing- You've done a lot of shady stuff today ... what have I done? You threatened a man. Me? You were- You were out-
outwardly, outwardly about it ... but you know, there's a, there's a base violence necessary for change, and Jerry's willing to commit it.
Use a candle [02:27:00] to light a few Molotov cocktails. Exactly All right. Are we all set here? Yeah. I am. Okay. Jerry's had his stoic look at the moon. I'm not, I'm not gonna give, I'm not gonna give Bubbles a mistrust back. It's less mistrust, more just pure curiosity at this point. You don't want the mistrust to come back.
Admiration? No, no. It can go one way. No, it can go one way. Yeah. Thank you for sleeping at Casa de Bubbles. It was- Hope you come back ... lovely. All right. Um, so you pick back up Shimeji, who is- Who you call- ... rested and whole It'd be really funny if we forgot him. Game master. I would never- We're halfway there
forgot a character. Oh my God, we're Schmigooon. Um. I pull out pounds of junk out of my bag, and then take pounds of random other junk and stuff it into my bag, and just switch out a few books, and then a bunch of seaweed, of course. Okay. Um, you head back out on the road. Um, you know what? I'll let you roll one more roll to see if you can get [02:28:00] that discovery in.
Yeah, let's see. No. It was a D10, right? And, yeah, forest area D10. No more. We're gonna get got by some people. We're gonna get super got. No, we're not, but it's a four, so Uh, well, all right, no discovery It needs to be like two or lower Sorry. One then. I appre- it was a three. It's literally gonna be three or lower.
You got it. Oh, oh, oh, oh. There's a three on here. I don't even know if there is one. I don't think there is. A one or two works. There you go. There's the one. Oh, there's, there's a three. Oh, boy. Oh, there you go. Next one. What's in this? It's like flowers. Oh. Yeah. They're very pretty. No. Maybe it's like seeds. I think we have the same card as each other.
You guys... All right. Sorry. Um, it's- Hi, Val. Hello. How's it going? What's this say? It's a short walk at this point, um, maybe like the morning, and you find, um, a little sign post that has a picture of a mushroom and an arrow- ... and you feel like you might be heading in the right direction. This way. Let's go, and I point in a different direction.
No, Shmedgy. We're going this way. No, I, I, I physically... Like, [02:29:00] I turn you. Like, I physically turn you. Nope, that one. All right. Um, this is a very dense part of the forest. The path is a little shorter, or narrower I should say. Um, definitely- Maybe we should send him alone. I... Yes. Baby Wog. But he can walk. Well- When being held up by the Yeah.
What? I, I pick him up and I just put him on the ground very lightly and I go. He knocks over 'cause he's not- Oh, okay. Nope. No, no, no. No, no, no. Okay. Okay. Okay. I am walking with... So I'm walking his little, little mushroom hand. It's very slow. I'm helping. Come on, Shmedgy. Squib, we could probably go a lot faster if you carry it.
Hmm. But where's he gonna go? Eventually- We'd carry it. Eventually. Eventually the path opens up and you see ahead the village in question. Um, there's a bunch of sort of squat houses. They're made of, um, wood and, like, brush and such. [02:30:00] Um, very shady area, and you'll see a couple of mushroom folk walking around, um, tending to their mushroom folk duties.
Do, do you guys have a, a, a head mushroom? Who are you talking to? I just, I just find a shopkeeper. I go like, "Hey." "Hello," you hear in your head. Oh, okay. Um, do you guys have, like, a leader somewhere around here? "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." Where? "Why?" We have the- Shmedgy ... we have Shmedgy. We have Baby Shmegadoon. Shmedgy. We have Shmichael.
Uh, we- "Shmedgy. I don't know anyone here." We have the future elder of the forest. We have the future elder of the forest. We have the, the elder's kid- Woo ... with us, and he wants them to be raised here, so we brought him here, and we imagine that's where they want us to leave him. Um- All right. Okay. What was the baby's name?
Shmeji. Shmichael. Shmeji, yes. Who? We've heard of Shmeji. Who? Shmichael. Shmeji. [02:31:00] Shmicicle. Well, you'd better bring him over to Chanterelle. And your name? Oh, my name's Michael.
And Michael the mushroom. Thanks, Michael. Yeah. Um- Which way to Chanterelle? It's that house in the middle there. Perfect. Thank you so much. She's our... She's the chief, so she'll probably wanna... No. They're mushrooms. Yeah. Whatever squid is about, man. Squid's about everything. The less bones, the better. Yeah, I was gonna say.
If there's no endoskeleton, it's A-okay for squid. There's no bits to be made here, let's end it right now. We're looking for Chandelier. Uh, outside of the house, she is tending, um, a little mushroom patch. Ooh. The regular thing. That's, that's... Oh, boy, another garden. Um, she is quite a beautiful [02:32:00] mushroom. She- Oh.
Chanterelles are this lovely, like, yellowy color. They're kind of trumpety shaped. Um. Adjust my fork. She looks up, you would assume, 'cause again, they, they don't have eyes. Yeah. Hello, madam. Oh, hello. We've come with a baby. Uh- Hello ... she kinda walks right past you and goes over and... Hi, Chanterelle. Oh, may I? Of course.
You should've kept going. Oh. I know, they're great with chicks. Babies. I've heard so much about you from Protaxis. It's so nice that you're here. Well, thank you for bringing him to us. Yeah, we made sure that, uh, they ate, uh, some good decayed matter. Um- Oh, perfect. Lots of it. They released a spore cloud, uh, last night, so-
be looking for that in the future. If Protaxis could deliver a message here, then they could've delivered the egg. Yeah. Well, it's more of, like, you know, mushroom [02:33:00] signals. Oh, that far. Mushroom signals? Yeah. Mycelium. They operate on radio waves. Thank you. Yes, it is. I'm actually going to probably send a message right now, hopefully it should get there, saying that Shmeji is safely delivered, so you can pick up that moment of goodwill you're looking for when you get back.
You've been a wonderful help. Thank you so much. Oh, well, no problem. Thank you. You've been a great help in getting Shimeji here to us. It's nothing. So- It was, you know, you know, we helped, but really it was all Squid. Squid did all the work out there. What can I say? And he let you borrow his lambo and- ... saved that child from the burning building.
Yeah. Thank you, Squid. Oh, it's no problem. You are a true friend to the- Yeah ... mushroom folk. Thank you for doing what you do here, which looks great. Thank you. Um, you know, just doing what I do. Yeah. We'll, we'll be heading out. We've... Squid and I are part of a feminist literature book club. It's a whole thing.[02:34:00]
Yeah. Yeah. We're reading... What are we reading? Uh, oh, us mushrooms famously hate footnote. Um, mu- um, uh, m- mushrooms. Um, oh, God. My- the- War and Mushrooms. War and Mu- Oh, no. We're reading, um, The Pride in Mushrooms. Pride in Mushrooms. Oh, that's a favorite of mine. Yeah. You'll have to tell me what you think. I wi- I will.
So far, so good. We'll do it. I mean, he's, he's a little nervous. I'm sure Squid would love to talk to you in the future. If you have, like, an a- an address he can mail to or- Uh, you can make a- Or- ... Dex pl- or no, uh- Can I- ... insight plus willpower ... can I help as the wing man on this end? Yes. All right. What? You can roll it.
If you roll above the DC, you'll add a plus one. So is it... All right, dex plus willpower, so a D8 plus a D10. Oh, my God. All right. Squid. I know. Uh, that's a five plus seven. A 13. I rolled a six. Well- Plus a seven ... she got a seven. Um, I think a seven is the, like, really basic DC. You know what? I'm really hot.
She's, like, a little confused, but she'll pause and, um- [02:35:00] I, like, I slip a piece of paper out of the no- out of the notebook I stole from Bubbles. She'll write down her rune code for you. See, this is why I was keeping it for later. Here, and give it back. I planned this. See?
Here, here's your- Jerry's just dumbfounded ... here's my roots. I- Thank you ... I prefer when people, you know, I, I'll put the ball in your court to reach out to me- Mm-hmm ... but I appreciate this very much. It was lovely meeting you. Okay. Well, good luck on your travels back. Thank you. Hope no soot guys try and get in our way.
Right. Are we out of your shot? Oh, those are friends. Oh, no. Are we, are we- My six closest friends. I sent them to go find the baby. Oh, Michael, Sh- Sh- Schmedgy- ... Sh- Sha- uh, Sean- Oh, got it ... and, and of course Doug. Are we out of your shot? I mean, they, they could be behind- Yes, you can be out of it. Nice. It'll be over [02:36:00] Destiny in no time.
Yeah, she doesn't have no bones, that's why. I thought you guys weren't dating. Why does it matter? We're not. We're not. She's- So why does it matter? ... not. We're not. You're r- you're right. I need this. I needed this. And- Thank you, Candle ... it seems like the same lack of bones. You're right about that. You're not big, you're not big on, on calcium.
Also, no communication through basic, through common. None at all. Through basic. I, I, I went, I went sci-fi for a moment. Give me a sec. Yeah. Oh, gosh. I can't say that. No, no, no communication through the spoken word apparently either. Is there something about women who speak to you through- Silent and no bones
who are silent and don't have bones that are just, that's your thing? I never even thought about the silence thing, but I can hear them just fine. You speak to them in a way none of us can understand, but- Yeah. I speak to them in many languages. Uh, it's a physical... It was a, it was a, it was a reference to my body.
Let's go. Let's go. All right. [02:37:00] Amazing. You are back on the road, um- On the road again. I have the empty baby Bjorn. On the road. And I'm kinda sad. Aw, man. Maybe one day you can have a little mushroom of your own. Oh, one day. That'd be great. I, I- Oh. Oh ... I'm looking at this, I kinda take pity. I pick up a rock and I just put it in the sling.
You know what? That was, that helps a lot actually. A murshroom? Hmm. Oh. A murshroom. Let's keep going. Sounds beautiful. Your walk back is pretty, um, uneventful. No soot gentlemen come and stab you this time. Um- Soot gentlemen. And the mood of the party, I assume, is a little better than the first trip out. Um, except for maybe Jerry.
I don't know. I don't know. He's always in a mood. Yes. So- Well, I haven't friend anyone, so. Yeah ... when we go back, who wants to maybe... I don't know if we have to break in. We can just knock on the door. I think so. You know, we didn't even try showing our other moment of goodwill at the [02:38:00] door. Maybe that would've helped.
These seem to work way better than the envoy badges. So much better than- The ones that we never got. The ones that we pretend we have. Um, let's... You know what? Bubbles, how do you want us to approach finding Jerry's parentage? Oh, we're doing that? Jerry- Oh, yeah, we- Do you wanna do that? Yeah, do you want to go down that road?
Yeah, Jerry, do you want to do that? Do you want to maybe leave? Not right now. Maybe not- Let's, let's, let's just get the egg and- ... confront your parents? I say we just get the egg for now. Is the farm on the way? I'm cool with that. Like, are we gonna walk past it? Kind of. You know, it's kinda like, it's... You'd have to still walk over to the farm, but it is, like, before you get to- It's visible from our path?
Yeah. Can I see Butterscotch? Or whatever his name is. Butternut. Butternut. Butternut. Can I see, can I see him? Uh, sure. Yeah, you see Butterworth. I wave hello. He walks away. [02:39:00] We can just keep on going, get that egg we gotta get. You guys are weird about meeting people for a second time. All right. There we go. I head back up to see Protaxis.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You head back up the tree. Um, you are allowed inside. "Oh, welcome back. I've received word from the mushroom village that Shmeji is in good hands." Wow, word travels fast about Schmegegi. Thank you. Schmeichel was a wonderful baby. Now, egg me. None of those are his name, but thank you. Egg me.
Shmeji was great. Egg us, but me. Egg. Shmeji was... He, they, they had a great time. They, glad to hear about it, ate twice and had one spore cloud. I'm glad to hear that they were in good spirits. I taught them algebra. Did you? Yeah. I don't believe you. All right. I lie all the time. It's, it's compulsive. Onto the egg.
Egg now, please. Oh, there's a please. All right. Um, and they, you know, pull the magic from the air [02:40:00] and do their fun hand gestures. Are you just making an egg or are you concentrating- It coalesces. It looks very, like, flowy and yeah. Is there something inherently magical about the egg? Why haven't we tested this?
We've had one with us this whole time. Maybe we need to put it under water. Maybe. Uh, and a little seed, almost like a bulb. Ooh. And they hand it to you. That's a weird looking one. Do we wanna keep them all in the same spot or do we wanna separate them? Uh, guys, really quick. Do you have a pen? Yeah. I'm gonna write our names on this one.
Ooh, I like that. I brought- Property of. Universal rule of dibs. I brought a little Thor egg from the curtain. Um, the ink fades away. I, I twist it and I f- I write on the back before it fades. I write, "Stupid cat man, do not touch."
You've got, like, clown space. Do you wanna keep that one on you? So we keep them separated- Hmm ... in case they- What do you think? You're the one holding onto them so far. I brought a little four-egg carton for it specifically. [02:41:00] That seems like a better... Let's keep them separate. I kinda wanna keep them separate.
Keep them separate. If they grab the carton, then they're both gone. They kinda get the whole pack regardless. You know what? When we present them to the other elders- Oh ... that's a good presentation tool. That'll be perfect. Can we, can you get, like, flowers on the way there as well? Me specifically? Like, you seem like a guy who likes flowers, who knows how they work in conjunction with other living things.
We could put something from each of the rooms that we visit, like- Okay ... on the carton. That's a good idea. Some shells, some flowers. I can start making flowers now. Some air. Some cloud feather. Do you guys have cloud? Some cloud. Like, solid cloud? Do you guys need anything else? Oh. Sorry, Jackson. No, your hospitality's more than enough.
We're just gonna keep, you know- Yeah ... figuring this out. Yeah. Thank you for your time. We're- Do you want us to- If you'll... Hey, I am trying to talk to my friends. Thank you very much. So anyway, about this presentation. Jerry's just, like, trying to get out of the room and just get going. No, no, no, and I, like, grab Jerry and I, like, pull him back in.
No, no, no, no. He doesn't wanna deal with this kingdom anymore. Hold the door for you. He doesn't wanna deal with this kingdom anymore. I, I put [02:42:00] the, I put it in my bag. There's a chance for character growth and he doesn't wanna go through it.
Maybe, oh wait. Take, take out your egg I can make saw blades Take out your egg. All right. You know, you look just like Butterfly I like, I like tap it. No, no I don't. Protects his... No. Protects. We're heading to the Sky Kingdom next. Oh. We're in a tall tree. Do you know if there's, like, any shortcuts to getting to S- the Sky Kingdom?
Like- Do you think it's the whole sky? I don't know. Have you seen a map? Not recently. Maybe there's, like- You, in fact, saw one- Yeah ... like 12 hours ago. And that's not recently. I'm also not great with distances and space. I'm a fish. I forget. My bad. Well, if you had an airship of some sort- Ah. I suppose that would be the fastest.
Yeah, we crashed it. You have, uh, mushroom s- psychic powers, right? I can communicate with my mushroom kids. A- any, any word on the mushroom net of a [02:43:00] cat man running around? No Have you seen a cat man at all? No. With what eyes? Clowns? Are there- We are dressed like clowns. More clowns. Even more clowns. No, that's all the clowns I've seen.
But, but- Are there airships available here in town that we could maybe rent? To rent? We don't make much use of them. Oh, so maybe we just- So then can we just take them? Take them and- We don't have airships. Oh. You can maybe walk to the Griffin Cavalry and see if they'll- That sounds like a great idea ... let you borrow some Griffins.
How do you get home? Like, when you go back up. You know, I didn't really think that far ahead. You came down and didn't think of a way back up. No. The- to be fair- And you say I'm stupid? Down's the easy part. You caught me while I was falling from the sky because my cloak gave out. Yeah, you're right. You're right.
Um, well- I'm smart in ways that count ... now- Not in this one ... we [02:44:00] take the eggs and we tap them together. Does anything happen? They both glow. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Does this do anything? Well, yes, when you have all of them, they do. Does it make a weapon? No. We get a wish. Does it make a wish? Yes, it makes a wish. Let's go.
Yes. I'm, I'm wishing for us to save Well, I would sup- I, I- I would imagine if you're collecting them for the- Do something with this ... initiation ceremony, the wish is probably intended for- We can just wish- ... the good of society ... we can just wish my family onto the sun. I would assume- Hmm ... you're not supposed to use the wish personally if you're supposed to turn them in at the end of the assignment.
But that feels, like, unpersonal, right? If we use the wish, we fail as envoys. We become clowns. That seems great. And we could get sandwiches. Yeah, you guys, y'all could do that. I'm good. Wait, if we wish, we could wish all the fact, but then they'll just make more factories. We could wish for alternative fuels.
What if we find the other two first? Some of you think- I probably shouldn't have told you Then they can figure it out. What would you [02:45:00] recommend then? I would recommend that you give them over to the elders so that they can use them for whatever greater purpose they saw fit when they assigned the task to you.
What if it's, like, Dorkstalk? Assigned to you by the very god of fate and destiny herself. Destiny. Yes. Destiny. Destiny. That one has bones, maybe. Yeah, not my type. So, so wait, wait, wait, wait. She's a goddess, so I'm not sure. Ooh. She might have no endoskeleton. You've- But, like- It sucks Let's just get the next egg Let's get the next egg.
Let's find the cat guy and just mur- uh, take care of him. We wish somebody onto the s- what's the rules with the wish? We're getting lost in the weeds here ... there is no way. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Getting lost in the weeds. You all have the power to make a magical wish-granting eggs, and there's no way you haven't been like, "Oh, I can't find the TV remote.
Let me get the other boys together and make a wish-granting egg and find it." 'Cause you know as soon as- I cannot express enough that this is a powerful [02:46:00] magicks which I have done for you. You know as soon as you get the four people together, you find the remote. That's what happens is as soon as you're like, "I've lost the remote"- Well, then-
you find it ... then by the time I get the four elders together, I found the remote. But then, okay, so they're all together. I like the idea of- Then you like say like- ... watching TV with no eyes and no mouth ... then you say like, "Oh, I wish the airship with the catboy thief fell out of the sky and into the sun."
Like, something like that. You've never done that before. Wishes are a dangerous currency. You only use them when the situation- You can buy shit with them? ... calls for it. They're dorks. Thank you for your help, Protectis. Thanks, Protectis. Let's go get those griffins. Sorry. If we come back tomorrow- Your son was really nice.
He spored on me. He spored on Jerry. It was funny. I'm just gonna open the door a little wider for you guys. Jerry walks on out. Be careful with those eggs. I, I like jokingly go like, "Ugh." And then like
Get a load. You feel like it, [02:47:00] they don't have eyes, but they're definitely rolling them. I go, I go like, "Uh," and then I go like, I go like, "Ah." It's just like you- What a mang ... close the door ... get these dweebs out of my house. You hear the door lock behind you guys. Okay. Ka-chck, ka-chck, ka-chck, ka-chck. All right, now- Griffins
to Jerry's house ... no way. Your face natural? No. We've seen you, Elzi, your face. Yes. Your painting skills are decent. Yes. What if we make more eggs? What? Make it confusing. That's a good idea. Decoy eggs. Yeah. So pass me that rock. Yeah. I could use some bioluminescence and make it glow. I like, I like take out my ma- Don't ask me how
my, my face paint. And I like, I like color it, and then I'm like, "What do you think the Sky Kingdom egg would look like?" Can I walk five feet and get like a dozen of eggs- A bird egg. What a bird egg looks like ... in the market? 'Cause yeah, you know what? There's, there's a lot of birds, bud For free just 'cause you go buy a bunch of eggs.
I come sit next to you with a dozen eggs in my hand, but I let you keep doing your thing. All right. Check it. It's like that project in high school where you [02:48:00] have to drain the yolk out of the bottom of the egg. What happened in your high school? You had to do that? Right, honestly, 'cause I'd never heard of that before.
Really? When we did that like dumb thing in like, uh, like home egg or whatever where you had to like keep like the baby eggs or whatever- Ah ... the first thing they had us do was we had to- Murder them? What? We had to... No, you use a needle. You like poke it with a needle in the bottom. You cauterized them? And you drain out the yolk.
No, we dropped the eggs out windows when we did that. No. Yes, I did. You guys never had to do the egg mom thing? You lost me at- Where you have to take care of egg babies? It's all I wanted to do in school because I was homeschooled. Honestly. And it's all I wanted to do, and they never did it. Danny Phantom.
Um, no, was it Danny Phantom? I don't know. I just wince. All right. All right. All right. All right. We're getting lost in my high school stories. All right. Let's stop this. Look, you're saying the dreams I wish I did. Uh, okay, so I take this rock- That I've painted white like an egg. Mm-hmm. And I go, "Would you put this in your bag?"
Well, we could use those, those other eggs I just bought from the market. Those are smaller than the eggs we get. We get, like, big eggs. Is that true? Thought they, like, were different size. I thought we get, like, big eggs. I know we established this earlier, they're like normal eggs almost. They're like the size of, like, a- They're pretty normal eggs.
They're normal size? Yeah. I mean, yeah. I look at him and I go, "But..." [02:49:00] That's really big. "Here's your baby back." And I, I draw a little face on it. Oh. "All right. Time to go to the Sky Kingdom, guys. Right? Yay." I, I scoop up the eggs and I start drawing them to look like the other ones. If you'd like, you can go to the outer city where the, uh, Mouse Militia keeps their mountains.
Guys, do not let Jerry get out of this. Ooh, yeah. Do not let him get out of this. Let's, let's go, let's go get us some griffins. Woo. Put some eggs in the carton and give to you. I get a nice little, like, case and give you an egg. So weird. Make them all look very special. Ooh. Thank you. Oh, boy. We can take these fake eggs into the sky and never look back.
Uh, Jerry. Jerry. Jerry, we should probably go talk to those people. No, we don't, we, we don't have to. We can find out where your parents were going, and then we can go to that place to see if there's any evidence of this, 'cause you just had somebody accuse your mom of murdering your mom. You know- While that sounds like a good idea, maybe I'm okay just having a bird mom that may or may not [02:50:00] have murdered my parents.
I don't know what happens after that. You know what? You're right. Famously, this party's done great when we all hold our issues inside. Oh, we haven't tried it with me yet. Did, did you learn anything about your parents? Oh my God, so much. What? No, we didn't. Uh, you learned that their names, if it was Jerry's parents, were Butterby and Sesame.
Hmm. Oh, that's so nice. Hmm. We also learned that he has a living aunt and uncle, and we have the key to their house.
I will not go willingly. Do you want us to- I pick you up ... do you want us to go? Jerry's like, "No. No." And- "You can't make me go through character growth." You know what? Put it down. Let's do this, do a vote. Who thinks that Jerry should deal with his issues and not carry it as a burden for the rest of us to deal with later in this group?
I say I. What is middle? Don't do middle. No. Be supportive of something. And who thinks Jerry should ride off on a griffon? We all wanna ride off on griffons. If we go [02:51:00] back, I will return the keys. Ooh. I don't know, it was two and a half o's to one and a half o's, so. So, sounds like we went. All right. Come on, Jer.
I was on your side. I don't have a see you, I don't have a fabulous, so I can't do see you later. I guess I'm going to meet my family. And you just disappear. Yeah, right. All right, so we're headed to Jerry's family house. I'm just imagining all three of them like- If only you knew where it was. I go up to the possum lady.
Okay. You catch her mid-run. Hey, um- Leave Char alone. Hey. Hey, hello. You know that Butterscotch guy? Oh yeah, of course. Butterscotch. Yeah. He's a local hero. So- That's what everyone says ... let's say theoretically we knew somebody who was really important to that family, that would be important, right? I mean- Like, for the local...
Just, for them. Well, it's- I suppose so. Yeah. We were hoping we, you could point us in the direction of where they live right now, because... Ah, you know what? Screw it, I'm throwing the, I'm, I'm throwing away the, the cover. And I, [02:52:00] I grab Jerry and I push her in front of her and I go, "We're 80% sure this is Butterscotch's grand-kid.
We wanna meet the parents." Wow, you do look just like Butterscotch. No. Oh my gosh. Don't need it. I've come to realize, guys, if we just tell the truth, people are willing to do things. Yeah, it's kind of crazy how that works. Well, I can, I can take you to Buttermilk and Saffron's house if you want. That sounds wonderful, thank you very much.
Yeah, come with me. All right. Jerry, Jerry, it's time to say bye. See, I'm learning. Exact- right, open the book. Trust me. Check this out. I, I put the, like, little puzzle box in there. I was like, ah, see? See? I saw you get mad I took those things, so I put them back. I'm learning. All right. Um- brings you up to like, uh, one of the trees.
There's a bunch of little houses all around it You should stop stealing things. I mean, probably. Yeah. Knock, knock, knock, knock. I, before we even knock, I open the mailbox and I put two zenit in it. Aw. And the keys. I stole this from your son. And the keys. After threatening him and his cousin. This [02:53:00] isn't the same house, though.
Uh, the door opens. I, I, when you go, "And the keys," I like, you kinda have to pull them out of Candle's hand. Candle's doing like a... Uh, the door opens. You see a mouse who looks, again, vaguely like Jerry, and a mouse with orangey fur who looks kind of like that other mouse that also looked kinda like Jerry.
There's a lot of mice that look kinda like Jerry that you're meeting today. It's Rod and Uncle. Yay. No. Oh, hey, we brought... Hey, guess who we brought? We brought back Buttercup. And I push Jerry forward. Uh. Buttercup. No, it's Jerry. With a, with a T. But it used to be Buttercup before- J- Jerry ... they were snatched.
It's after your... Jerky? Jer- Jerky? It's Jerry. Jerry. That's a nice name. It's not the family name, but it, it's your name. Uh, yeah. The plate. My mom gave it to me. Well, this has been great. Sesame? Guys, I say we go. [02:54:00] No. Oh, like you're adopted. Where have you been li- oh, would you like a drink? No, we all start slowly backing up as this is going on.
Jerry just like reaches toward just- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no ... Rich like, he's like, he's like, "None of you are leaving. You pushed me into this. You're all staying." It's a mouse sized house though, right? He's like losing his mind. It is quite small. So like, I'm quite, I'm like, "Ugh." I learned to squat. Yeah, it's built for people that are like two and a half feet tall.
I sit, um, squat- Squat ... criss-cross applesauce Jerry, you're a little tall for a mouse folk, you're learning. Yeah. Yeah. Must be part of living in the sky. Less gravity to hold me down. You live with the bird folk now? Yeah, got me an owl mom. She's great. Oh, well. They look... They are having thoughts clearly. Like, "That's, um, that's good for you.
That's... I'm sure there's lots of opportunities for you in the... Yeah. Mouse kingdom." That's why I jumped from the sky to be an envoy. An [02:55:00] envoy, that's great. Butterscotch would be so proud. I... Cool. Well, you know, any time you wanna learn more about your family- You should ask about like photo albums or something
please. Yeah, you can. You should. You can. Coffee? I'd love some. Thank you. Um- What a lovely home I live inside. Your son's amazing. Oh, yes, Butternut, we're proud of him. He's such a hard worker. Yeah. I'm glad to know you guys are already getting along. Um- Oh, we're getting along- You know, we always said- ... just fine
we wished he had a cousin his age.
Well It's about that coffee, and- Guess I'm just in the family now. So do you, Prithel, have any, like, birth records, photo album, anything? I mean, we have some paintings of Butterscotch and- Wonderful. Can we see? I point on the wall. There's some very- Can we take? ... cool- No. They're big, large paintings of Butterscotch.
We would like, we would like [02:56:00] one painting. Oh, you know what? Here, take this. Uh, and then I'll take down from a shelf. It's, like, a little book, like a biography of Butterscotch. Wonderful. I put it in- Oh, boy. I, I put it in Jerry's bag. What do you want me to do? You know, your, your dad wrote that. I'm sure he did.
Butterbean, he was a great writer. What happened to them, that you know of? To Butterbean? Killed by bird folk. Ooh. Did you ever get a body? We thought little Butter, or Jerry here, got scooped up by 'em, but I guess in a different way. What kind of bird? I don't know. I didn't see. Like, was there a body? You know, that's good enough for me.
No, like was there a body of them, or, like, any evidence of it? Yeah. No. Like a, like a body or, like, a pellet. How many times are you gonna say body? Let's, let's change the subject. I mean- What were they doing up in the Sky Kingdom? Well, no, they were walking around outside. Oh. Just, like, chilling, or were they going somewhere?
That's what happens. Where were they going? That's what happens. You know, you never know when a [02:57:00] bird or a cat is gonna come around and- You know it's illegal now with the- You can't say bird around here either? It's illegal now since FABO was formed, so that doesn't really stop people What's illegal?
Killing mouse folk Oh. Oh Um, okay. W- where were they headed? I don't know. You know, w- they- Did they say, like, where they were going, what direction? Butterby liked to write, you know. He would go out on excursions so he would have tales to tell, and Sesame would- Ha, tales, 'cause he's a mouse. Cool, we found out all this info, guys.
We can go get some griffins. Time for a comeback. Well, it's been lovely. Thank you for your home. Tell your son he's- Of course ... should check the mail, and we- Saffron brings out a cup of coffee for you. And s- s- Oh, thank you. Just need the cup. The cup. We're going. We, we're leaving. All right.
Really, Gery, if there's any, ever [02:58:00] anything you wanna know or, you know, if you just wanna come by- You know- We're happy. You have a place here in Taproot ... good to know, but I'm pretty good up in the sky with the sky folk, with my bird mom. And that's, that's fine. We're all happy for you. Your father would be proud to know you're so well traveled.
He's not great at smiling. He's learning. Do you have any other books that he wrote? Oh, yes, of course. Uh, they'll take out a couple books by Butterby and hand them to... Try to hand them to Gery. Gery'll take them. They seem to be, like, memoirs and fantastic accounts, and almost like bardic tales of- Longshot
family things. Oh. Do you have their old address? Oh, they used to live here with us. In this r- Oh ... in this house? Mm-hmm. Do you know where they, like, slept? I'm, I'm trying to- Well- I'm, I'm... Not in a weird way. Like, you know- ... let's take their baby son there and see if it brings [02:59:00] back any kind of emotions or memories way.
Well, unfortunately, it's Butternut's room now. Oh, that dork. Excuse me? Oh, sorry. Sorry. Uh, I meant that- We're leaving ... that amazing young man. All right. Well, it sounds like you guys need to go. Yeah. We are very busy. Off we go. Gery busy. Very busy. Wanna hug your aunt and uncle? No, I don't know these people.
You should hug them. It was very nice meeting you. Off we go. Gery just waves and starts backing out the door. I just do a- Uh, your uncle will offer you a handshake. A fur mouth handshake. He's been nicer to y'all than to us, so. Mm. And Gery backs out slowly. Close the door behind us. Oh my God, you were terrible out there.
That was- Like I said, I'm good with my mom up in the sky. Hey. You good? He doesn't seem ready right now. No, he's not. I just- And that's okay. I was a baby when my parents died. What does it matter? And, you know, this is the only life you've known, and that's gotta be [03:00:00] real confusing to hear that there is a whole other place down here for you.
Yeah. You good? But, hey, we're gonna go, and we can maybe ask some questions or not ask some questions of your mom when we get there. We could not. I mean, that's also possible. Gery, I don't mean to- I don't mean to say the quiet part out loud, but you're currently carrying the books of her lunch There... We were not told what kind of bird killed my birth parents.
It might not have been my owl mom. Maybe she found you. You're right. You're right. You bring up a wonderful point. You're holding the books of somebody else, or of her neighbor's lunch, possibly. Well, then I'll...
The neighbor, I don't know. You'll shoot the neighbor. Yeah. Vengeance. Are you walking- You concern me on a deep level ... to the griffins? To the griffins. To the griffins. All right. I need him to stop being happy. He keeps making this face at me and I don't- He's not happy ... how do I translate that? That's [03:01:00] not- Uh, on the edge of town, you find- That's fine
um, the Butter Scotch Memorial Training Center. Man. Um- Jerry's just like . Character development, you look at it. You look at it. How? Um, these seem... There's mice folk, you know, bunny folk, all sorts of- Folk ... folk. Um, they all seem a little, like, made of tougher stuff than the other mice that you've met, considering there's these large griffins that are probably, you know, three, four times these mice's size, and they're handling them, they're jumping on the backs of them, they're feeding them.
You know, getting them saddled up. Um, and you see up above in the trees there's flight training going on where they're very effortlessly weaving these griffins through the, um, branches. All right. Hello. We're looking to [03:02:00] go to the Sky Kingdom. Can we rent a cat bird? Um, I don't think that's how it works.
These are kind of, you know, military property. Is there a reason- Envoys. We're envoys. Can we- In training ... uh, pull out the egg? In training. Wrong egg. Wrong egg. Wrong, wrong. Pull out the other egg. Oh, hmm. Protaxis. Beep. They glow. Beep. Meep. That's pretty cool. Um, I'll have you roll a willpower plus- All right, come on dice
willpower. All of us? Oh, no, that's perf- that's perfect. I'll just have Kendall do it. Geez, Kendall's got two d10s. Oh, here's Kendall gets two. Um, you can add- I only got these sixes ... you can add plus two to that because of the eggs. All right. Seven plus... What is crossing swords? That's 10, I imagine? I would assume so.
Yeah. Seven plus 10 is 17, plus what, what was it? Two? Two. Two. 19. So, 19. Yeah. Woo. We've got these griffins, baby. Wow, you seem very [03:03:00] inherently trustworthy. I am very trustworthy, and I've done nothing wrong since I got here. I believe you. Thank you. You sound, you sound really- Can I get you- And what's your name?
Uh, my name's Parsley. That's, that's so cool. Thank you. Can I get you... Do you need four? Do you need two? Do you wanna double up? I think four is good. All right, you're big. I think, I think three would be ideal. No, no. Four. Four is fine. We were st- if you... All right, four it is. I think one. We could all do one.
Ooh. Just, uh, bring them back in one piece, all right? Are they homing griffins? Are they, like, are they rentals? They are. Woo-hoo. Oh. Make sure they have the same amount of- Can we get, like, a receipt just in case we- ... same amount of gas when you got them. Can we get a receipt so we can maybe drop them off at the other rental place in case we have to?
We only have... Again, this is not, like, we don't typically do this. We do need these back. They are beloved, you know, steeds to some of the guys. Yeah, it's steeds, but it's a bird. Get it? 'Cause steeds are, like, horses. Well, I, I think [03:04:00] that makes me- All right, well- We will make sure to return these. Thank you very much.
Bring them back in one piece. Are they... Are you too big, or you can... Are they- I'll try. They're, they're, they're a sturdy bird. All right. Sturdy bird. Sturdy birdy. All right. Um, and you guys are off towards the Australian dump. In the Sky Kingdom. So Jer- Jer- oh We did no investigation as to where that cat boy is.
Jer, Jer, oh. We- We- ... took, we looked into the burnt settlement Eh. Blimp, airship. We'll get one more egg. I'm sure it'll come back wrong. He'll show. You know, I, I bet we could hold out the eggs and be like, "Ooh, ooh." Everyone give me a dex plus willpower. Oh. I wanna see how good you are at riding griffins. Oh, no.
Oh, that's what that's for. Not, not them rolling up on us. What'd you say? Dex plus willpower? Uh-huh, yeah. Uh, so that would be a nine. I got a nine as well. Wow. That's not good. I'm re-rolling that. Might as well. You know what? Me as well. Use it or lose it, I guess. I got a six. What's going on? I also got a s- [03:05:00] or, so that's a 12.
I got 11. I got a rock. Uh, so you two are doing all right. You know, you're not... You're figuring it out. You're, you know, practicing. You're learning the turns and the tricks of riding your griffins. Um, what was over here? Nine. Nine. Six. Uh, you're clinging to your griffin for dear life. Um, not really f- You're kind of steering it by, like, leaning a little, but you're very afraid.
Watch this move. Go to the left. You go, "Guys, watch this." Slight right. Um- Jerry's part of the water, bad at the sky. Squid, you're like half hanging off the thing. Ah! I think Jerry's just- You don't really have your air legs ... a mouse. No. This is not... You thought this would be like flying Doris? It's not. It's not.
It's not, it's not like that at all. It is not like that. You're, like, barely hanging on. Just think of... What can we say to be supportive? J- Jerry, be supportive. Uh, uh, uh. Think of your new mushroom girlfriend. Yeah, think of... [03:06:00] Maybe you can hop in the back. If I can get on this one. Ugh. Now you're just like, "Get my legs."
Um, it is a pretty quick ride to the- Thank goodness. ... Agrishio Kingdom. It is kind of just above the Agrishio Kingdom. Um- See? See? At the top of the trees. All right, Jerry, we're back home. Squid only fell off twice.
It's good, only fell off twice. Um, and you see through the clouds sort of the vague shape of this city. It's a very tall city. Um, you see at the bottom through the clouds these large kind of like glass, very light looking buildings that are spewing smoke and steam and whatnot. Um, there's kind of a very clear like bottom layer, middle layer, top layer separated by clouds, and like little magical machinery that keeps each layer afloat.
Um, and you'd see up at the top layer there's a very familiar [03:07:00] airship with big patches in it parked up at the top. Mm. Do you guys wanna just shoot at it from here? We could. I mean, um- I've got a rit- I've got ritual elementism. We could just send big fireball. That's true. Well, what you decide to do about it we will figure out next week.
For our final episode. Ooh. Our ultimate episode- Ooh ... of Fabula Ultima. Our ultima episode. Our ultimate episode of Fabula Ultima. Um, so we hope you'll come back next week for the thrilling conclusion. Also, if you wanna stick around an extra week for us, we are doing our Christmas special of Girl By Moonlight, our Christmas By Moonlight special.
Sorry, a week after that. My bad. If you wanna stick around three extra weeks, there's a break in the middle, and then our Christmas special for Girl By Moonlight. Uh, if you haven't watched that campaign, go brush up on it- Yeah ... on it now before then, uh, so you'll be ready for our epilogue/holiday special.
Um- And don't forget to like and subscribe. Yeah. Yeah. If you wanna be notified [03:08:00] of when that's ready in a couple weeks, you can smash that subscribe button, ring that bell, and- If this video gets to 10 likes- ... we will- Mm. I will hold my breath until I pass out next episode. Oh, no. Please don't. And that's- That doesn't sound like an appealing offer.
If we get to 10 likes- And that's a David promise. We, we get to 10 likes, me and Aaron will share our secret. Hold my hand, Aaron. Hold my hand, it's dramatic. But for next week, we'll see you back here for the last episode of Fabula Ultima. Producer, can I veto that? Yes. Thank you so much, and we'll see you next week I hope.
Please. Have a good night. 10 [03:09:00] likes.