Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Created by Roselis Cortez • Co-host: James Stanley
Seam Notes explores luxury as behavior
How you think, how you move, and the standards you hold when no one is watching.
This isn’t about status or appearance. It’s about composure, discernment, boundaries, and self-respect. The things that quietly shape how you live.
Through lived experience, we talk about growth, outgrowing environments, and learning to move differently without losing yourself in the process.
No performance. No exaggeration. Just real conversations about what it takes to hold your own.
New episodes every Wednesday.
Roselis (00:00)
what we want to talk about is how everyone's using the language of therapy speak. Right.
James (00:07)
These clinical terms.
Roselis (00:09)
Right. People are triggered and your gaslighting, or
James (00:14)
I never used that.
Roselis (00:15)
she's a narcissist, or it's my trauma. You know, and of course I'm being overly dramatic in the way that I'm expressing it.
You that's ri but that's really how it's been portrayed in social media and in the way that people are talking about this today in a manner that's like it's no big deal, right? Or they're using these terms in such a loose way that they're losing their effect.
On people for what they actually mean.
James (00:55)
Great. Like we're watering it all down, right? Agreed, agreed.
Roselis (00:58)
Exactly. Exactly.
I also feel that for me, and remember all of this is about our perspective on things, none of this is written in stone and none of this is a formula, none of this is any of that.
James (01:10)
Or a judgment or all of it, right?
Roselis (01:13)
Ever,
ever. This is just what our perceptions are in how we are absorbing or digesting what's happening in our world right now in reference to this, right? But I think that really to be able to label those things, you have to go through the experience of it. You have to go through the process of it.
in order to really be able to label it.
James (01:40)
Those things meaning the the gaslighting, the trauma, the being triggered, the boundary, all of those things.
Roselis (01:47)
That's correct, you know. You have to have lived a trauma in order to be able to have the triggers in order, or not necessarily, you know, it could be an experience that really kinda made you uncomfortable. And so that discomfort is the memory that you have which keeps doing the trigger. But are you really seeing the trigger for what it is? Are you just calling it that to dismiss somebody?
about what's happening within you. Right. And so let's really get to the nitty gritty of of what this really is because it's kinda dangerous I think when we go into those places to call it that, To call these things what we perceive that they are without really knowing.
James (02:37)
Understanding their meaning, right, and really being authentic with what we're saying. So what's interesting is so Roselis was telling me a story, but it triggered and and I do use that word. Not that I not that I love using that word, but it it it has been used to me.
and when I think trigger I think aggression or I think pain. And I and I never want to do that to somebody.
So I don't use the word triggered almost with anybody, Roselis has this, past history in her childhood that we share.
Right. We really share. And I'm a really visual person. So was talking when we sat down and it was about childhood And instantly I would use the word triggered in this sentence because it brought up this very sad, dark feeling. And I visualized you as this little girl in this closet. I can tell you what you were wearing, what you smelled like.
And it just it overcame me and I like
for me, I use the word trigger, that's how I relate to the word, right?
Roselis (03:47)
A trigger for you there, it happens because your experience
Wasn't physically the same, but it was very similar the way that we felt about
James (03:59)
I used to hide under the bed
Roselis (04:01)
Right. And I used to hide in the closet. Yeah. Yeah. So that's you know, that's the thing. But that is triggering. So I think that it's good for us to present what we're trying to convey here, by saying this.
Today everybody's talking about the narcissist. you're such a narcissist. she's such a narcissist. A narcissist in today's loose definition, which is exactly what we are trying to bring to light here, Is someone who was inconsiderate. That's what people are calling narcissists.
James (04:38)
So that you're saying that's a general consensus of what people think of narcissists today. I had a mother who was a narcissist. That is not it.
Roselis (04:45)
Exactly, exactly.
So, you know, you may question, well, why are these two talking about these terms and what this is on a podcast that's supposed to be about the luxury of living? Well, it relates because if you're throwing those things out there and you're using those terms loosely to describe something
that is not something that you have actually experienced.
James (05:21)
Right. And I think you have a clear understanding of what it is. Right.
Roselis (05:26)
You're putting a front. You are a shadow of of who you are. You're not being authentic. And the luxury lies in being authentic and true to self.
So if you're throwing these things around and I'm not judging you, you can do whatever you want, but it becomes a thing that's happening in our atmosphere and it diludes what it really means.
James (05:54)
It's it's performative, right? It's when we talked about performative versus authentic, and I think especially with social media today, it's really easy to throw around these terms and what we're basically saying is we're not clinicians, But if we're gonna tap into what's inside and the luxury of what's inside, then we need to be the true luxury of what's inside is to be authentic, right?
And if we're gonna toss around terms like a narcissist, right, and and we're saying statistically, people are saying that it's basically inconsiderate.
Roselis (06:24)
Which is so far from what a narcissist actually is.
James (06:27)
A tiny layer of what a narcissist. Correct. Right? Correct. so but the word trauma, et cetera, right? They they are the same things, you know. I'm traumatized. Well t are we really being
authentic with this word,
bottom line, we're saying all of us, our listeners and viewers as well, are seeing people throw out these terms that can be very dangerous because we're using them loosely today. Yeah. Right? Gaslighting. it's thrown around all the time and I'm like, okay
Are we really gaslighting somebody when we're doing X, Y, and Z? Or is it just an easy term to throw out? And then how does that affect the other person that's hearing?
Roselis (07:11)
What do you mean I'm gaslighting you, right?
James (07:12)
Agreed. I just think we need to be cautious. we really need to be cautious about our choice of words, And the way we're using them and throwing them out because
Mm-hmm. Right. Mm-hmm. Right.
Roselis (07:25)
Really.
James (07:26)
I realized yesterday authenticity, I have it tattooed on my arm, and it's here specifically so I can see it. Mm-hmm. Authenticity is is the key to all of this, right? If we're gonna use these terms, we're gonna throw out
trauma and you know boundaries and being triggered and gaslighting etc we need to be able to say them authentically having some experience and some true understanding of what they really mean. Right? Instead of just using them as performative speech and really I think bottom line affecting somebody else in a really negative way.
Roselis (08:03)
Correct, correct. You know? So, how does this relate to what Seam Notes is, Our idea is that Seam Notes is the luxury of living an authentic life, right? I'm simplifying it, But it's really that
The luxury here is to be in that space of neutrality, of freedom from all of the stuff around us, that we can love all of our luxurious things, but that we're not in that space of attachment, etc. etc. So how does this relate to that? Right?
James (08:44)
100% relates to to it because this is if we're being authentic and we're talking about words, phrases, especially clinical words that in phrases that we really don't understand, right? That we really don't have experience about, right? And we're hurting somebody else possibly while we're doing it, we need to be authentic. And there's no truer luxury than that. Right? At at at any stage.
Roselis (09:08)
Loving all beings around us is really what it is, right? It is about giving love and it's about giving respect and it's about giving all of these things. So
James (09:19)
Kindness, compassion. All of that wrapped up
Roselis (09:21)
connected to this thing.
James (09:24)
Doing the work, right? We talk about doing the work if you've done the work, right?
Roselis (09:28)
Right. And how have internalized it then it becomes a luxurious thing and it's not as dangerous to do this kind of thing.
James (09:38)
Right. And then you may even find, maybe, that it's not necessary to use those things.
Roselis (09:45)
It's not necessary to use those words. Right.
James (09:47)
Yeah.
Roselis (09:50)
Because interestingly enough. Right? once I processed a bunch of different things, things that used to trigger me no longer do.
most of the time that is not present in my life anymore. I think that a person that's an authority on this can talk about it and discuss it. And if you have the experience and you have been able to work through it.
and recover, if you will. Right? Let's let's let's put it on the table. Let's talk and share about how that is a part of who we are and why we are and how we can help somebody else heal from that. But don't throw it about.
James (10:32)
tying back to these words, we're not saying that you shouldn't use triggered and gaslighting and trauma, etcetera. What we're saying is use them authentic. Yeah, and wisely, great word, great word. Wisely. Yeah.
Roselis (10:42)
Wisely. Wisely. Right.
James (10:45)
Really understand their meaning. Right? they can have what's the word?
Roselis (10:48)
They have an impact. Exactly.
James (10:51)
Cut somebody, they can cut self. Yeah, for sure.
Roselis (10:53)
As well.
so this week
think of a term out of these that you use. Are you identifying with what it really is? Or are you just using that term?