Falling in Love With Tacoma

Episode 1: Why Introverts Don't Like Salespeople But Love a Guide

In our very first episode, Kierstyn and I get honest about something a lot of people feel but can't quite name: the discomfort of being sold to, and why a good guide feels completely different.

As two introverts, we dig into why pressure, hovering, and "what's your budget?" make you want to walk out the door — and why the rare salesperson who gives you space and choices earns instant trust. I share some real stories, talk about how breathing and anxiety show up when you're being pushed, and walk through the philosophy behind how I run showings and serve my clients at Wonder Luxe.

In this episode:
  • Why introverts and intuitives need time and space to feel a home, not a sales pitch
  • The real difference between a pushy salesperson and a guide — and how each one makes you feel
  • "Choices, not pressure": how I lay out the pros, cons, and my recommendation, then step back
  • Why buying or selling is already vulnerable enough — your agent shouldn't add to the stress
  • Why my clients are always allowed to change their minds and move on their own timeline
  • The "you're in the driver's seat, I'm the GPS" way I like to work alongside people
  • Running a business on do unto others — service over sales quotas
  • Why intuitives are so good at sensing inauthenticity — and what that means when you're choosing an agent
This one sets the tone for everything we're doing here: real estate done with trust, dignity, and respect for both sides.

Got a topic you'd like us to cover? Drop it in the comments.

What is Falling in Love With Tacoma?

Falling in Love with Tacoma is a podcast about what homes are really about — not square footage and zip codes, but the people standing inside them, usually in the middle of some change they can't quite name yet. After eleven years selling real estate in Tacoma, Mellie Massey figured out this work was never really about houses. So these are honest conversations about the rest of it: why we outgrow homes, why some rooms feel alive and others don't, starting over, and what a home is quietly trying to tell you about who you're becoming. If you keep your phone on silent and notice the things other people walk right past, you'll feel at home here.

Kierstyn:

Okay. So I wanna ask you why you think as introverted people, because meaning both are introverted, why don't we like sales people but love a guide? And we are thinking from, like, a buyer or a seller's perspective.

Mellie:

Yes. I would say I love to shop. So here's the thing. It's, like, I love a good salesperson, but I also really don't like sales person sometimes. Right?

Mellie:

Right. In 1,000 They can be pushy. Right on stuff. Yes. I recently got a car, and, like, I just kept being like, this is so stressful.

Mellie:

Yeah. And I

Kierstyn:

Cody did too. My husband did too, and it was stressful.

Mellie:

Yes.

Kierstyn:

I didn't like any of the salespeople. Yes. I only liked one.

Mellie:

Yes. Exactly. I lucked out this last time, and he was, like, the coolest guy, and he just made everything calm. And he would be like, hey. I'm gonna give you guys some space.

Mellie:

And that's, like, really what's important to me when I'm shopping. And my business motto that we'll probably talk about a lot is do unto others as you want them to do to you. Right. And that's kinda just how I run business now is in the last ten years is just basically, like, I need time and space to process things. I know what I like.

Mellie:

I know what I want. I do like a salesperson that sometimes who can push me out of my box. Like, I've been to Purpose Boutique, and a girl's like, hey. Can I show you a couple things? And I was like, sure.

Mellie:

Yeah. I was in the mood for it that day. Right? But sometimes I'm, like, not in the mood, and I love when someone South Yakima Avenue. Can kinda read They keep left to continue on self might need a little bit of space.

Mellie:

Right. Because she

Kierstyn:

could someone a salesperson you like it when a salesperson can kinda pick up on this person needs space or is more intuitive or is more introverted Yeah. And doesn't need so much.

Mellie:

That's kinda like how we like to do our showings. Right? Is that, like, when I open the door left to continue on stylizing. Hovering over people and, like, look at this. Look at this.

Mellie:

Look at this. Like, I get that sometimes you just need to, like, look around and you just Can you one and a half like to sometimes, like, let couples or let someone kinda, like, wander a little bit, and I'll just kinda be near them. And I'm like, hey. I'm here if you have questions, and I'll tell them, like, some facts about the house and all the information. But then I also, like, think it's really important that people have the time to digest and feel it.

Mellie:

Right? Like, I think an introverted intuitive really needs to feel a space to know, like, can I build a home here? Can I, like, visualize my kids running through the halls, or can I visualize my cats on a cat tree? Like Right. You need time and space.

Mellie:

You need time and space.

Kierstyn:

And when you like something, you don't need to be talked into it. Correct. Like, you don't need to be talked into buying a house or buying clothes. Sometimes it's nice to have the pros and con or it's nice to have the pros and cons pointed out to you, but you don't need to get talked in something. And I feel like that's what I'm scared of when I talk to a salesperson is they're gonna try and talk me into something, and I'm and I don't wanna be talked into something.

Mellie:

Yeah. And I think, you know, a lot of times you can tell with, like, your breathing. Lacey at Key Reflexology has Key Collective has taught me so much about my breathing patterns and we've done so much work in that that like now I know when it comes to sales even with clients if you're breathing from like your chest it's usually anxiety or like it's it can cause anxiety. If you're breathing in a lower pattern like down in your belly, it can be more grounded. Right.

Mellie:

And so like when salespeople are like really like pressuring or you know, they're giving all these, like, suggestions, and they're it can cause, like, breathing anxiety. Yeah. Right? And then you're making a decision that's not grounded or rooted in your intention. And that's why I think that's really important is to make sure you when you do make decisions, you're coming from that place.

Kierstyn:

Absolutely. Which is I'm gonna ask you another question segue through. So when you think about a pushy salesperson versus someone who genuinely guided you through a big decision

Mellie:

Mhmm.

Kierstyn:

What was the actual difference in how they made you feel? So feeling difference between a pushy salesperson and a guide. Mhmm. What's the main feeling difference? Definitely, what comes up

Mellie:

for me is choices. So here's choice a and b. Here's the pros and cons for each choice. Here's my professional recommendation, and I'm gonna give you some time to think about what suits and supports what you want. And that is that makes my eyes go just like, yes.

Mellie:

So that's what I try to do for my clients is I've had that done for me. There's a lot of closure ahead. It meant the world to me. And, yeah, that's why I tried I actually just did that last night in an email. I was like, here's three choices.

Mellie:

Here's the pros and cons for each one. Here's what I, you know, project would would happen with each one. And, ultimately, I don't know what people's you know, I don't need to get nitty gritty into what people's budget are. This was in in this case, it was they're getting their house ready to sell Yeah. Until they're ready to tell me.

Mellie:

Right? Like Right. At this point, we I just wanna give them the information and then time to digest it. Yeah.

Kierstyn:

That makes sense. North Gacy. I kinda

Mellie:

went through something

Kierstyn:

like that when I was buying a car with my husband, and the only salesperson that I ended up liking was the salesperson who right up the board, Jason. Gave me educate who gave us education and choices. He was just like, it's your right to, you know, get this checked out, the inspection. Like, we'll cover the inspection. And he was just asking us if we had any questions and as opposed to all the other salespeople who were just like, oh, what's your budget?

Kierstyn:

And, oh, this is worth it. And, oh, well, you know, that's actually not that much of a repair. You you know, that's it. This is still a good price and just kind of asking us

Mellie:

North 13th Street and turn right onto

Kierstyn:

Mass Steel Street. Our objections Yeah. Instead of addressing our objections and treating us like we deserve to know what we're buying.

Mellie:

I think that really comes down to respect. Right?

Kierstyn:

Yeah. And I immediately told my husband. I was like, he is this I like him. He's the one salesperson I like. Stop.

Kierstyn:

And even my husband was like, yep, actually.

Mellie:

When you can get an, like, a really intuitive introvert to be like, I like you, like, that is a compliment.

Kierstyn:

It is a compliment. It's like, I trust you. I'll think that you're trying to take the compliment.

Mellie:

Go into situations where we could be vulnerable or

Kierstyn:

Right. It's so vulnerable when you're I mean, just buying the car. We're so vulnerable. We're gonna pay $56,000, and we could be screwed.

Mellie:

I think buying and selling, it's like there's so much you already are stressed about the last thing Yes.

Kierstyn:

At the

Mellie:

next month.

Kierstyn:

The money is stressful.

Mellie:

The last thing you should be stressed about is is your agent pressuring you? Is your agent on your side? Is yeah.

Kierstyn:

Is your agent on

Mellie:

your side? Are they for your agenda or their own? Yeah. Right? That's, like, the last thing you should be concerned about.

Mellie:

You already have enough on your plate.

Kierstyn:

Like, you should just know that they're on your side. That they should be your anchor. Yes. You can just lean into them.

Mellie:

It's been wild how, like, there's been some clients who you you know, they've even had to take a completely one eighty and, like, maybe we didn't. Maybe I take their house off the market or maybe they're like, you know what? We've decided to rent. And they were almost, like, nervous about my reaction, and it made me kinda sad that that there might be anyone who would be, like, mean or vindictive because Because they change their mind. Yeah.

Mellie:

And people are allowed to change Turn their right off the North Baldwin Street. That's the thing is, like, when you build a solid business, you're not you you have to build your business up to where, like, it's not reliant on one client buying from you. Mhmm. Right? Because Right.

Mellie:

Then you come Each client should have freedom to make choices that support their family, themselves, and their future goals. At the next

Kierstyn:

stop even

Mellie:

left Yes.

Kierstyn:

Either. Yes. On their own timeline, not the agent's timeline. Yes. Absolutely.

Kierstyn:

So, I mean, talking about intuitives, I mean, Intuitives are stop sign. Are a little different. We're wrong type of people. So Intuitives are pretty good at detecting inauthenticity. Yes.

Kierstyn:

So what does that look like in real estate specifically? So Turn right onto North Lawrence Street. That intuitive myself consciously, we pick up. We just don't like a salesperson. And I think that we're just kind of picking up on inauthenticity.

Kierstyn:

What do you think about that?

Mellie:

I think that you're I think that is a solid will be on the right.

Kierstyn:

Almost like just like inauthenticity too. Like, we just can't just like we're talking about before, we can't trust them. Almost like we don't know their motives. Yes. And Head toward North 27th Street.

Kierstyn:

Is gonna pick up on that first, and I think that might be one of the

Mellie:

reasons North why

Kierstyn:

27th Street. We don't like take your first

Mellie:

left to North Warner Street. Yes.

Kierstyn:

So it's a lot about trust. It's a lot about control. We don't wanna be controlled.

Mellie:

Yes. The definitely, the client should be I mean, there's different types of clients. Right? There's some that are like, this is too stressful. Take the wheel.

Mellie:

Mhmm. Yes. But this is a conversation I like to have with my clients is that if by default, I generally the way I see it is they're in the driver's seat. I'm in the passenger seat with directions, and they can make the choice whether they're turning or not. Right?

Mellie:

And and so that's kind of the the way that Wonder likes to do it.

Kierstyn:

Almost like you're the GPS?

Mellie:

Kinda. Yeah. And you can listen to it or not. Or you can be like, I don't like your suggestion. You cannot do the turn.

Mellie:

And I'm not gonna be upset about that.

Kierstyn:

You'll just give me another option. Yes. If you don't take the right, you'll just be like, not the next one. Do this one maybe.

Mellie:

Yeah. We did make a mistake. We are rerouting.

Kierstyn:

We yes. We're

Mellie:

rerouting. I saw that recently. I love that. Yes. And and then sometimes I've had clients where they're like, have too much on my plate.

Mellie:

And with someone that also has ADHD, I totally understand executive, decision making. Sometimes we just want someone to decide for us. Now I don't want to decide major life decisions for people, but you know there are certain things that I can help with if they're like, hey. You take the wheel on this. And I'm like, absolutely.

Mellie:

Let's do it. Yeah. But it's a choice we're making together and one based out of trust, dignity, and respect. Yeah. For both parties.

Mellie:

For both parties. Yes. Absolutely.

Kierstyn:

Okay. So, do you think most intuitives even know they're looking for a guide and not a salesperson? Or they just know that something feels off? I feel like it's we just like, from my own perspective, we almost just think some I I just think something feels weird. I just don't like this person.

Kierstyn:

And so just to kinda end our our talk today,

Mellie:

we we just don't know. We just

Kierstyn:

don't like them. We just don't like salespeople. But I think it's because we're viewing them as a sales person, and we're not looking for a guide for ourselves. Yeah.

Mellie:

I would say, there are different types of buyers and sellers, right? Like, some of them have had experience in real estate. Some of them have not. Some of them don't know exactly how a real estate agent works, and we can definitely do a video in the future of like, what does hiring a real estate agent really mean? What different kinds are there?

Mellie:

And I don't want to come from a negative approach because I definitely think there's many different types of real estate agents for many different types of people. And I'm not going to be for everybody, but for the people that are for me, we definitely vibe really well together. Right? And, there are the ones that meet sales quotas and they're transactional and sometimes people like that and that's fine. I think for us a lot of times, and for WONDER, we are a guide, we are in service to our people, and we do a lot of extra things, you know, that can be helpful.

Mellie:

Like, you know, we've lined up contractors, we've gone outside of the box to help our clients in ways, emotionally and spiritually to help them transition from one home to another, or from one place in life to another. You know, we've had so many wonderful stories of working with people who've got their first home and the excitement you get with that, or saying goodbye to a home you love and either downsizing or upgrading. You know, estate sales, which is another very, you know, intimate experience because we're dealing with memories and sometimes grief. And so we're dealing with a lot of emotions. We're dealing with a lot of humanity.

Mellie:

And, I think I've completely went off subject on the question, but basically is that there we do, we run it, we run our sales in a service manner. And so I think for us, when we even just saying sales, we're just like, ugh. I know. Video you shared about that,

Kierstyn:

when she's like, I'm a real estate agent? It's like a little cringey. Sales is cringey, so we totally understand.

Mellie:

But it also can be very beautiful because I do, like I said, love to shop. I love shopping in different manners. And my mom and I love looking at homes and we've bought and sold many homes and we'll do another video on my mom one day because she's been so awesome in my life. Oh yeah. So fun.

Mellie:

Thanks for tuning in. This is number one, numero uno, and we will continue more going forward. If you have a topic you'd like us to go over, please let us know. And we're just looking forward to doing more of this with you guys.