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Welcome to Flip the Script with Vic, your weekly pep talk to expand and shift your perspective. I’m your host, Victoria Nielsen. Together, we’ll unwind all the things you thought you knew, and awaken to what’s truly possible when you flip the script on your reality and take control of your own life.
Speaker A [00:00:02]:
Welcome to flip the script with Vic, your weekly pep talk to expand and shift your perspective. I'm your host, Victoria Nielsen. Together we'll unwind all the things you thought you knew and awaken to what's possible when you flip the script and take control of your own life. Are you ready? Let's jump on in. Hello, my loves. Welcome to another episode of Flip the script with Vic. I'm your host, Victoria Nielsen. I'm really excited for our conversation today because I polled you guys on Instagram Stories to see if you'd be interested in this topic.
Speaker A [00:00:35]:
And the response I got was overwhelming. So I'm super stoked to dive into how we can use our negative emotions to create positive change or positive outcomes in our life. And I feel like I am a walking embodiment of that after two miscarriages. And I'll start there because I feel like those are the obvious stories and choices, right? That something happens to you, that brings you to your knees. That's a rock bottom moment. Most folks that rise from that and move through that are going to find a purpose out of their pain. They are going to find a message in their mess, as people say. And you are going to rise like the phoenix from the ashes and of course, create a positive outcome from something that wasn't so positive and.
Speaker A [00:01:36]:
Right. Maybe that's not the case. Sometimes people hit rock bottom and don't come back up. But I feel like for those that are experiencing a spiritual awakening or deepening their devotion to themselves or having a big life, aha. Epiphany. It happens after one of these rock bottoms really low, feeling lost emotions. And there's a reason for that. There is a wheel of emotions, and feeling lost is at the very bottom of that wheel.
Speaker A [00:02:10]:
And then you have to move through the confusion and those dark emotions. And as you are doing that, you eventually reach a state of determination. And that state of determination is what propels you back into balance. You don't ever want to feel that way again. You don't ever want to, whatever it is, feel helpless, feel abandoned, feel lost, et cetera. And so then you are propelled by your determination back into balance. But because it is a wheel, right, and a cycle, at some point you're going to go around the other side and your excitement is going to topple you back into anxiousness, which is then going to propel you into feeling lost, right? So it's a cycle. You're never going to stay in one area forever.
Speaker A [00:03:01]:
And I got to thinking, how could you potentially use small, everyday moments to propel you forward so that you didn't always have to experience these rock bottoms or this really deep suffering. And as I mentioned, my original miscarriage, if you've been following the podcast or my story for a while in 2018, was the one that started all of this. It started my spiritual awakening. It started my questioning and my quest of self discovery and my yearning for something more in life. And this most recent miscarriage that happened, gosh, just a month ago, was really an energetic clearing. It truly cleared my womb space and my energetic field of a lot of energy that I was carrying. And so naturally, I feel determined, I feel lighter, I feel better. But what about those little everyday moments, right? Like last night, for example, I put on some music and was just dancing around the backyard while my son was playing.
Speaker A [00:04:09]:
And I had feelings of anxiousness and sadness arise within the body. And our body is such a beautiful vessel for all of these emotions, and it's always speaking to us, right? But you have to take the time to dance with it, to listen. And I did literally dance last night because I put music on and I was moving around the backyard. And as these emotions were arising inside of me, I could have stopped dancing and sat in the grass and just cried, which there may be times when that does happen, right? But instead, I chose to keep dancing and chose to create a beautiful moment for myself, this beautiful backyard ballet, if you will, of me just flowing from my heart space and moving my body in whatever way that my heart wanted to, and not caring what I looked like and putting on a performance, but a performance for myself. There was no one else there to see what was happening, and it was still just as beautiful for me in that moment. And that propelled me into a moment of balance and clarity and excitement to then say, oh, my gosh, the body is the key. I mean, I've always known that, and I always talk about that, but I had a big aha of like, oh, the body awakened this thing within me. And it all started with these emotions that I was feeling.
Speaker A [00:05:43]:
And then I was brought to create this beautiful piece of art in the world, my dancing. And we are all creative beings who have this potential within us. And if we can harness these dark emotions as we move from that confusion into the determination, we can propel ourselves so much further, so much faster. Have you ever cleaned your house when you're full of rage? If you're a mom, I bet you have, where you just rage clean the shit out of everything, like you're getting all of the dirt behind the toilet. You're cleaning the faucets, like, getting all the grime off. Your house has never looked cleaner than after you rage clean. And that's what I'm talking about, is using those quote unquote negative emotions to propel you forward to create a positive outcome. Our emotions are labeled as good and bad.
Speaker A [00:06:52]:
But what if we took that label away and just said that they were emotions and that they could be used as fuel? They are our superpowers, and we have to feel to heal. But we can also feel to expand and move into a devotion of self that gets us way further than we would have without using that emotion. And so there are instances, of course, where this isn't going to make sense, where you potentially have a firestorm of emotions that maybe comes out of nowhere. Again, if you're a mom and you just hit your boiling point, there's probably nothing productive that's going to come out of that, because you're just losing your shit. But if you can begin to practice this in the small moments, it will translate to the larger moments. So another example of this I have is, after the miscarriage, the first one, I just started writing down poetry. My sadness just was seeping out of me into words on the page. And at the time, I did not realize it was going to become a book that I would publish and share with the world, but it did.
Speaker A [00:08:08]:
And so I used that sadness to propel a dream of mine forward to become a published author. Is that how I thought it would look? No, probably not. But it still happened all the same. And actually, I love that it happened that way, because then there's a lot less pressure and there will be a next time that I publish a book, right. I'm not going to feel so overwhelmed that, like, oh, this has to be really good because it's my first book. Like, no, I've already got one under my belt. And I used my sadness and my grief to make it happen, to manifest it. And you can think literally as well, of, like, creating a business out of your sadness or your suffering.
Speaker A [00:08:56]:
Maybe you're melting your tears into a candle making business. That's a terrible example, but you know what I mean? And I have friends who have created silver linings. It's a beautiful organization that creates blankets and gives money back. After her nephew was diagnosed with, I believe it was cancer. And it doesn't always have to be so philanthropic, right? Because of cancer per se, you're now creating a business. But it can be that maybe you start calling senators and wanting to create social change and justice because of your anger and your rage at what's happening in the world, right? We all want to feel like we're doing something. And channeling this energy into something productive is how you can do that. And again, it doesn't have to be something that's for everyone else.
Speaker A [00:09:57]:
You can create something that's just for you. And that's actually even more beautiful and special and sacred, I think. Because then you have a physical manifestation of your healing to be able to look at or to look back on, perhaps, right? Or to turn back to when you get around the other side of the cycle again and you're feeling lost, because again, you're always going to come back to that anxious, lost feeling. Life is full of commotion. Every moment is full of pressure, tension, stress, friction. Like everything existing, everything exists all at once. In every moment, in every single moment, you can find sadness, happiness, joy, fear, anger, et cetera. And it's how you choose to move through those emotions that matters.
Speaker A [00:10:52]:
And if you are practicing this in your everyday life, when you get to the big moments that bring you to your knees, that are your rock bottom, that are your. I don't want to feel this way anymore. Climbing out of them becomes second nature. It doesn't seem so hard and so insurmountable because you have already done it over and over and over again in the little moments, right? And so maybe setting yourself up for success. Like I was thinking the other day, I really want to replant my back garden. But what would be a beautiful thing to do when you're angry and frustrated? Maybe it's go prune the garden. Go plant a new garden. Like putting your hands in the soil and feeding that rage to the earth.
Speaker A [00:11:45]:
The earth knows exactly what to do to transmute that. You're not harming anything by sending your negative energy into the earth. She knows exactly how to transmute that. That's actually what you should do in most situations. If you are grounding your energy, you are giving the earth, like your excess negative energy, and she is alchemizing it and transforming it and using it. And so you're not harming the earth in any way by doing that. Actually, that's like a super healthy way to establish symbiosis and giving and receiving with the earth. Because she always wants to be receiving your energy.
Speaker A [00:12:20]:
And she has so much that she can give back to you by way of support and grounding and even the vitamins and minerals that are in her soil. And so planning was where I was going with that was just to say that I'll probably go to Home Depot and get all my plants, and then maybe I'll wait until a day, I'm really fucking frustrated at my husband, and then I'll go plant the garden and that'll be a beautiful outcome out of something that maybe didn't start that way. And so every single person has this capacity in every moment, and it's not about bypassing. So I'm not saying that you should not feel the rage or the anger or the sadness or the frustration. You should 1000% feel it. The feeling it is what is going to give you the fuel to move forward. Because without feeling it, complacency is the word that comes to mind. But I don't even think it's that if there's not a fire under your ass to make a change, you're not going to.
Speaker A [00:13:31]:
If you don't feel uncomfortable, you're going to stay exactly where you are. There's no reason to change or to grow or to move forward. And so these negative emotions actually help you do that because they make you feel really fucking uncomfortable in your own life and show you where you have room to make a change and where you have room to expand and grow. And coming back to that idea of balance, the earth always needs balance. So for every moment of sadness and rage and frustration, you're going to have equal moments on the opposite side of that spectrum of joy, of ecstasy, of orgasm. Right. And so why would you not use both to move you forward? I honestly think the negative emotions are more fueled than the happier ones because, again, the happier ones make you feel complacent, like things are good in the moment, so why would you change them? Whereas those negative emotions are needling at you and pushing you and making you have to move. Because I don't know about you, but I hate feeling uncomfortable.
Speaker A [00:14:49]:
I hate feeling lost and confused and anxious. And I will do everything I can to move out of those emotions and back into the determination. And I also feel like the determination gives us a purpose. It gives things a meaning. It gives you a drive that maybe you didn't have before to get things done. And kind of, like I said earlier, it lets a fire under your ass because you don't want to feel that way anymore. And because you have felt that way, you know what it feels like on the other side. And you know how miraculous it is to feel the happiness and joy and freedom and liberation and all of those, quote unquote, positive emotions on the other side.
Speaker A [00:15:35]:
So I just wanted to give you that food for thought today, that in every moment there is also this feeling of risk and of safety. And it's entirely up to you how you move through this wheel of emotions. They're going to happen naturally. And so because they're going to happen naturally, can you look forward to and use them as part of your process? I also think that provides a little bit of hope, right? To know that even when you're in those feelings of anxiousness and confusion, there's going to be another side again. Because there has to be. Because the world keeps turning, because things keep moving. Because nothing ever stays still. So you won't be in that moment forever.
Speaker A [00:16:28]:
It's like I got a Robert Frost poem tattooed on my back in college after I left, like an emotionally abusive relationship. And nothing gold can stay. So whether it's good or whether it's bad, it's not always going to be there forever. So appreciate it. Because there are lessons and blessings in both that will move you to the other side, right? Or keep you grateful that you're maybe through the worst of it. So, yeah, that's what I've got for you today. I would love to know what you think of this, how you feel about this. So please drop me a line on Instagram at Victoria Margot Nielsen.
Speaker A [00:17:14]:
Or you can also dm the podcast Instagram at Flipthescript with Vic. Please keep sharing everything that you're loving about the podcast. Like rate, subscribe, review. I just went past 1000 downloads and I am so excited to have so many people listening in this beautiful community. Even if it's the same 20 people listening over and over and over again. I am eternally grateful to you. Let me know what else you want to hear. What else should we talk about? What's going on in your world? Yeah, I want to know.
Speaker A [00:17:52]:
So stay in touch. I will be right here next week. Be good to one another. I love you guys. See you soon. Close.