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Adaptive Humans™ is the podcast for real talk and intentional growth. Hosted by Jami de Lou, each episode blends meaningful stories with practical tools you can use in your next meeting, tough conversation, or high-pressure moment—and just as easily in everyday life. Together, we’ll explore how to work with emotions instead of against them, bridge differences with respect, and steady ourselves when stress runs high. With signature segments like Beyond the Bio, Brave Enough Moment, and Just Be Reset, this podcast invites you to practice adaptability in the moments that matter most.
Navigating the Holidays: When Life Is Lifing Hard, and Grief Is a Thief
Welcome back to Adaptive Humans, the podcast for real talk and intentional growth. I’m your host, Jami de Lou.
Around here, we return to three anchors:
how we navigate our emotions,
how we adapt across differences,
and how we steady ourselves when stress or triggers show up—
because that’s what helps us stay human when life gets real.
As we step into this holiday season, many of us are carrying more than what fits on a to-do list. Whether this is your first holiday without someone, or your seventeenth navigating a familiar loss, this time of year has a way of revealing whatever we’ve been holding in our bodies—stress, grief, change, fatigue, excitement, and everything in between.
Today’s episode is about navigating the holidays honestly: your grief, your joy, the pressure, the cultural expectations, and the very real human fatigue that shows up at the end of a long year. Our Brave Enough Moment stretches across the entire episode through three lenses: grief, work stress, and boundaries.
But first—let’s ground ourselves in a story.
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Holidays Aren’t Neutral
Holidays have always been layered for me. Growing up, some seasons were joyful, and others were hard. I could feel excitement and grief at the same time, missing people who weren’t present or navigating complicated family dynamics.
After my mom passed, the season took on a new texture. I tried to be present, but often disconnected without realizing it, afraid my grief would make others sad.
One tradition that anchors my family is decorating the Christmas tree the Friday after Thanksgiving—lights, decorations, music. Every ornament has a story and connects us to the people and places we love. It’s a ritual that lets joy and memory coexist.
There’s a lesson that took me years to understand. My husband is an incredible chef-level cook. He built this beautiful Thanksgiving menu early in our marriage, and our kids grew up wanting to apprentice with him in the kitchen. Fall is busy for me, so not having to cook felt like a gift.
What I didn’t realize—until more than a decade after losing my mom—was that I wasn’t just “resting.” I was withdrawing. I was afraid my grief would spill into the room. Afraid I’d take away from their fun. Afraid I’d be the cloud over their sunshine.
But I was the one who lost out. I cut myself off from their joy. I isolated myself to protect them, and ended up hurting myself.
It took one emotional conversation to untangle this. I finally said:
“I never know what I’ll feel during the holidays. Grief comes in waves. Can I be part of the fun, with the caveat that I might need to step away sometimes? And can that be okay?”
That honesty didn’t make the holidays heavier. It made them human. It made us more connected. My family no longer had to guess how I was doing, and I didn’t have to hide.
If I can offer one gentle nudge: don’t hide because you’re sad or afraid your grief might show up. With the people you trust most, let them know you want to be part of the joy—and you may also need moments to pause or feel sad. Joy and sorrow can coexist. You’re allowed to feel both, and no one needs to feel guilty.
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Brave Enough Moments — Holiday Edition
The Brave Enough Moment is the imperfect first step—the moment before confidence or clarity, when you choose truth over performance. Today, I want to offer three Brave Enough Moments many of us need during the holidays.
Each begins with the same question:
What is the bravest, kindest next step I can take right now?
Let’s move through them together.
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1. When Grief Shows Up
The holidays don’t pause grief—they amplify it. The smells, the songs, the empty chairs, the old traditions. Grief hits hardest in the in-between moments.
The brave enough moment here is allowing grief and joy to sit next to each other without forcing them to compete.
That might look like:
• naming that this year feels different
• stepping out of a conversation without apology
• honoring someone you’ve lost in a small way
• refusing to perform happiness
• letting tears come without judgment
Grief is cultural. Some communities grieve loudly and communally. Others grieve quietly or internally. Some lean into food and prayer; others lean into humor or storytelling. There is no “right way” to grieve in November or December—or any month.
Grief doesn’t have to ruin the moment.
It makes the moment more real.
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2. When Work Stress Follows You Into the Season
This year has stretched people thin. Teams are tired. Leaders are tired. Many organizations have gone through change after change and are quietly limping into 2026 while publicly projecting energy and optimism. Some people are navigating job loss or recovering from furloughs or shutdowns.
Emotional fatigue is real. People are showing signs of strain: irritability, withdrawal, hypersensitivity, short tempers, trouble focusing, and anxiety about the future—not because they’re unmotivated, but because they’re human.
The brave enough moment here is naming the emotional climate instead of pretending everything is fine.
For leaders, this can look like:
• simplifying end-of-year expectations
• normalizing real rest, not performative PTO
• asking your team what support would help them finish the year humanely
• modeling boundaries instead of preaching them
For team members, it may look like:
• being honest about your capacity
• asking for clarity instead of guessing expectations
• saying “I need a slower pace this week” without guilt
Human-centered leadership and teamwork require compassion—for others and for yourself. Especially during the holidays, when emotional bandwidth is thin.
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3. Boundaries — The Big B Word
Holiday pressure is real. Everyone has needs, expectations, and traditions that matter to them. And you’re one person.
The brave enough moment here is protecting your capacity without abandoning your values.
That might sound like:
• “I’m taking things slow this year.”
• “I want to join, but I won’t stay late.”
• “Let’s not have that conversation today.”
• “I need a moment—I’ll be right back.”
Setting a boundary doesn’t make you difficult.
It makes you clear.
And clear is kind—for you and the people you love.
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JustBe Reset — Holiday Edition
Here’s a one-minute grounding practice for before a gathering, during a stressful moment, or after a tough conversation:
1. Arrive: Feel your feet on the ground. Release your jaw. Drop your shoulders.
2. Name the Moment: “This is a lot, and I can pause.”
3. Exhale Longer Than You Inhale: Inhale for 4, exhale for 6—three times.
4. Orient Your Body: Look around and name three neutral things you see.
5. Choose One Next Step:
• Sip water for 30 seconds
• Take a short walk
• Put your phone away and be fully present for the next 20 minutes
If your body softens even 1%, that is progress. Call it a win.
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Closing
The holidays are complex—not just emotionally, but culturally, socially, and psychologically. No one arrives at this season empty-handed. We bring memory, identity, grief, joy, exhaustion, hope, and everything in between. Be gentle with yourself and others.
Whatever this season holds for you, remember:
• you get to choose what you carry
• you get to decide what you’re able to give
• you get to create moments of meaning without performing perfection
That’s why I’ve started wishing people a gentle holiday season rather than “happy holidays” or “merry everything.” It feels more honest.
Let’s give each other permission to have what we need most this year.
Next week, we’ll be back with Leah Hairston, doula and founder of Sweet Bee Services—an incredible and timely conversation you won’t want to miss.
And as always:
I am brave.
I am enough.
I am brave enough.
And so are you.
This is Adaptive Humans.
Real talk. Intentional growth.