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Do You Want to Be Happy?
Everyone wants to be happy. We spend our money, time, and energy chasing our version of the good life. And on the way, we run ourselves into physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. But what if the happiness we’re all striving for isn’t the happiness we were created for?
Pastor and author Dr. Derwin L. Gray believes there is a better road to happiness, and it is found in the Beatitudes of Jesus. In this section of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus revealed the shocking, countercultural path to true flourishing. It comes not through wealth, fame, or laughter but through poverty, obscurity, and mourning.
True happiness comes from a heart directed toward the kingdom of God and satisfied in Jesus the King. This 8-session small-group study demonstrates how Jesus taught us to search for, find, and hold on to the good life.
Speaker A
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • We're going to talk about lamenting. • • Ah, as a matter of fact, happier those who lament. M. Well, here's a couple of things for us as Americans. And if you're an American, Christian, or if you're just exploring what faith is, lament is not a word that we.
Speaker B
Use a lot, but it's a word that we should.
Speaker A
It's actually a beautiful word that is rooted in our happiness. • • Um, but before I get to that, let me tell you this story. • • • May 17, 2004. • • • I'm, uh, a young husband, • • uh, loving my wife and my kids. And my wife was an athlete like me. So, uh, we both went to college on athletic scholarships, even though she had a partial academic scholarship, which, believe me, I did not. But anyway, so so she's always been fit. She threw the javelin on the track team. She's an allstate basketball player. In high school, she was a registered dietitian professionally. And so the last person you would think would get cancer would be her. But in 2004, May 17, • • • • • • Vicki got cancer. • She'd always had this lump on her throat, and it just continued to grow. And so we went to the doctor. He referred us to a specialist. And at first the specialist says, hey, this is no big deal. We'll remove it. Well, he removed it. We came back about a week later, and I'll never forget what he said. • • He looked at us and he said, you're not going to like this news. And at that moment, it was like time stood still • • • • and he said, you're not going to like this news. Vicky, you have papillary carcinoma. Uh, in English that means thyroid cancer. • • So we're just kind of like, did he just say what I just thought he said? • • He did.
Speaker B
But of course, as followers of Jesus.
Speaker A
We didn't want to show that we were panicked because we have so much confidence in how great our God is. • • And so it was kind of like we were just numb. It was almost like we were watching a movie of some other people. But the reality was we were in the movie and we were the people. As we were making our way to our car in a parking garage, I just remember putting my hands in my face and I said, oh, no, not my baby. • • And we were just silent as we drove home. • • • • And the first night that you're diagnosed with cancer, • • you just can't sleep. So we're tossing and we're turning. I'm having images of conducting my wife's funeral with our kids who were young at that time, holding their hands, weeping and crying. She's on the other side of the bed crying. But then something happened. • • • • In the midst of that, • • • • this sacred and beautiful lament • • began to take place. • • • To lament means to mourn, • • • • • • and we were mourning that, no, this was not right. • • But in the midst of that morning, we got incredible comfort. How did it come? • • Well, she began to quote a scripture. • • • I began to quote a scripture. She said another scripture. I said another scripture. And we were like playing scriptural tennis in the bed.
Speaker B
She would say a verse, I would say a verse. She would say verse, I would say a verse.
Speaker A
And all of a sudden, in the midst of our lamenting, • there was this praise that was happening.
Speaker B
There were, like, tears of joy, tears.
Speaker A
Of fear, but in the midst of it, God was there. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Now, great, uh, news. My wife is cancer free. She's been cancer free for years. But one thing we're not free from is what we learned in the midst of lamenting. • • We, uh, live in a broken world. And like you, I yearn for the wrong to be made right, for healing, to take place of hurt. I long for those things, but that's not going to happen until the new heavens and new earth. And Jesus teaches us • • • one of the pathways to the good life. He teaches us one of the pathways to happiness when he says, • • blessed are those who mourn, • for they will be comforted. That word mourn in the Greek language is the strongest word for wailing and crying loudly because things are not right. Because in the midst of that, uh, we gain this incredible comfort. • • • So even now • • we have wars around the world, we have division, uh, • • in our nation. We have all types of things that remind us constantly that this is not yet the new heavens and new earth. And maybe you're going through things, • uh, with your family, maybe you're going through things with your children, maybe I don't know what it is, but it's okay for us to mourn so often as Americans. We just want to run right through it. And God has said, no, sit down, • • • • and I want you to mourn. I want you to lament. Because happy are those who lament.
Speaker B
Why?
Speaker A
Because we are cemented • • • in God's love. And it's his love that comforts us. • • I, uh, want you to marinate with me as I read Romans, chapter five, verses three through five, and it reads this way. The Apostle Paul says this. • • • • • • •
Speaker B
And not.
Speaker A
Only that, but we also rejoice in our, uh, afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance. Endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. This hope will not disappoint us because God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. • • So here's a couple of things, and these are things that helped Vicki and I capture happiness in the midst of a terribly dark and frightening time. Number one is this, is that we can rejoice in our afflictions.
Speaker B
Now.
Speaker A
I've studied Hebrew, I've studied Greek, I've studied a little bit of armenic. And rejoice means in all those languages. Rejoice, like, why can we rejoice? Because of this? • • • God will never • • waste our • • pain. • • • • • Please never forget this. God will never waste our pain. Because when we are in Christ through faith, the scripture says we can rejoice • • • • • • in our afflictions.
Speaker B
Why?
Speaker A
Because it produces • • endurance. • • • • Um, endurance means that we can go the long haul. That the God of endurance, the God of grace in the midst of our lamenting • • is drawn us nearer to Him. • • • • Not only is it drawn us near to Him, but we're drawing his strength. And you know what else lamenting does? It allows us to tap into not just our pain, • • but it allows us to tap into other people's pain. • • One of the things that made Jesus happy was that he knew that his existence was to be a, uh, healer. And so we become wounded healers, as Henry nowen would say, that in the midst of our lamenting, it opens our eyes to other people's pain and we gain endurance. And that endurance also moves us to proven character. What is proven character? • Uh, well, when you look at proven character, we look at the person of Jesus. Regardless of the circumstances, he was the same yesterday, today, and forever. And God wants to share that character with us. So in our pain, in our suffering, when we see injustice, what it does is it breaks our heart because it breaks God's heart. And as our hearts are breaking with God, it breaks the chains of sin, it breaks the chains of selfishness, it breaks the chains of living a myopic life that we only look at ourselves and we begin to look at others around us. And so our character begins to take the shape of, um, Jesus. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • See, that's what the good life is. That's what happiness is. That regardless of what's happening around us, what's greater is what's happening inside • • of us. So not only do we get proven character, but • • we have hope. Verse five says this this hope will not disappoint us because God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. • • •
Speaker B
So for those of us who are.
Speaker A
Followers of Jesus, • • hope and happiness go hand in hand.
Speaker B
But our hope isn't like, hey, I.
Speaker A
Hope something good is going to come out of this. Our hope is, I know something good is going to come out of this.
Speaker B
As Paul says a few chapters later.
Speaker A
In Romans eight, where the good or bad, god uses all things • • • for those who love him and who are called according to his purpose, for whom he foren knew he predestined to be conformed to the image of Christ. • • God doesn't waste the pain. • • Um, God transforms our character as we lament and ultimately his love is poured out in our hearts. And we have this hope that one day all the wrong things will be made right. That one day there's no more death, there's no more sickness, there's no more pain, there's no more injustice. But until that day, • • • • God is using our lament • • to cement us in his love. And as we are cemented in his love, our hearts go out to other people who are hurting as well. And we become these wounded healer that our happiness is found in us saying, I know that, I know that. I know • • • that this endurance and proven character that I'm gaining is making me more like Christ. Can you imagine having that perspective • • that with all everything that is just going haywire, that is just going bananas, that is just going bonkers? That we have the perspective that in our lamenting we are being cemented in God's love. And God's love does not disappoint. God's love does not fail and God does not waste our pain. • • You see happier those who lament • • • because they will be cemented in God's love. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Speaker C
As you get ready to go into your groups, I have a couple of questions for you. The first one is this why is it that instead of lamenting or morning.
Speaker B
We try to rush through pain? • •
Speaker C
The next question is how do you think • • • • lamenting or morning will enhance our capacity to receive God's comfort? • • And the next one is do you think that lamenting actually connects our heart.
Speaker B
To other people's arts who are suffering? • •
Speaker C
Now, here's a thought. Want you to marinate off • • lamenting • • cements us in God's life giving love. I'll see you at the next session. Peace. I'm out. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •