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The Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe Podcast Collection is the one-stop shop for the Torah inspiration shared by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe in one simple feed. The Jewish Inspiration Podcast, Parsha Review Podcast, Thinking Talmudist Podcast, Living Jewishly Podcast and Unboxing Judaism Podcast all in one convenient place. Enjoy!
You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, Texas. This is the Ask Away series on the Everyday Judaism podcast. To have your questions answered on future episodes, please email askaway at torchweb.org. Now ask away.
Good afternoon, everybody. Welcome back to the Everyday Judaism podcast, to Ask Away number 33. Our 33rd episode dealing with the most magnificent questions in the world, your questions. And to our viewers online, to our listeners on the podcast, please email us at askaway
at torchweb.org for your questions to be featured in our upcoming episodes. We look forward to it. We appreciate your questions. And we hope that we're able to suitably answer them appropriately. My dear friends, we are going to open the floor with a surprise, Carlos. Carlos usually wraps it up, but today he's going to open it up for us. Carlos, please, you have the microphone. Go for it. I'm covered in love in this past parasha, the Torah.
Why does the Torah, Hashem tells us to help my enemy and his animal with the load? Why should I help him feed my enemy? Am I doing it for the animal itself or for my enemy? Okay, so you're asking an amazing question. You're asking whether or not the Torah's command in this week's Torah portion, this past week's Torah portion of Mishpatim, it says that if you see your enemy's animal under its burden, you shall help it up.
If you find your enemy's object, you shall return it to him. So what in the world is going on in this command? Why does Hashem give us this tremendous mitzvah? Because you asked, Carlos, you asked whether or not we're doing it for the animal or no, we're not doing it for either. We're doing it for Hashem. Let me explain. You see, we are all creations of Hashem. We are all in a world where we see things in almost one dimension.
It's like me versus you, me versus you, me versus him, me versus her, right? And it's this world of like competition, world of accomplishments. But the truth is what it needs to be, it needs to be Hashem's world. We need to realize that every single person is a creation of Hashem. And as such, someone who I dislike, Hashem loves them. You know why Hashem loves them? Because Hashem still gives them life. Hashem wants them to accomplish things.
And there's another point to this, which is Hashem wants us to overcome our mitzvot. How many times does it turn out that the person you hated, you really love, but there was a barrier that didn't let you get there. And now that you did something, and I'll tell you, I've had personal experience with this, where you have people who you have a disdain for, only for there to be something that brings you together by quote, coincidence. And then you see, you know, this guy's a really nice guy.
I really like him. I don't know why I believed what someone told me about him, or someone said about him, or I thought that my eyes saw what they saw, but it wasn't really true. So what Hashem wants us to do, and the reason why Hashem brings it about that we find that person's object, or we see his animal falling under, Hashem is bringing it there so that you reconnect with that person and bring about peace in this world. Because Hashem loves peace more than anything.
And if you find that your enemy's animal, I'm going to help you. What do you think? Are you crazy? No. Hashem said, no. It's the contrary. You're going to overcome your desire to ignore, and you're going to instead do the godly thing, and go out of your way, and help them, and bring their animal back to them. Help them unload that burden. Help them change their attire. What are you talking about? It's my enemy. He stole my business. He didn't steal anything.
Hashem, remember that Hashem is the one who creates this world. Every single moment, anew, Hashem gives us everything we have, and everything belongs to Him. This person didn't take anything. It's your limited vision. And what the Torah is teaching us is to be bigger. The Torah is teaching us, don't be small. Don't be tiny. You're so much greater than that. Even someone who you dislike, and you have a total distaste for, don't push them away even more. Bring them closer. Find a way.
I find this in marriages that are struggling. So every, the husband, the wife, they come, they're fighting, they're this, they're that, they're yelling at each other. You know what you need to do? Be more kind. It's almost like they hate each other. Be more kind. Bring out the goodness. Bring out the kindness. Bring out the love that's deep under the surface. We create these barriers that don't allow us to be friendly, to be loving, to be kind. It's to shatter that.
You're so much bigger and so much greater. And that's the gift that the Torah guides us with. The Torah guides us with how to be the greatest person we can become. And that's, I think, one of the great lessons we learn from those verses in the Torah. You can be so much greater than being shallow. Oh, I hate that person. He's my enemy. No, no, no, no. You can be so far, far, far greater than that.
And that's what the Torah's hoping that we live up to. All right. Did I answer your question, Carlos? Yeah? All right. Mark, go for it. With this wave over here, you're talking about kindness, and this is a really dumb question and I lack common sense, so I apologize. How do you be kind? What is kindness? That's a remarkably simple but amazing question. What is kindness? Kindness means, okay, chesed is kindness, loving kindness.
Our sages teach us that chesed means to be chas, mean concerned for someone else. You see, many times people interpret kindness as, this is what I want to do for someone else. I'm willing to do this for them. But that's not what they need. What the Torah tells us, for example, about giving charity, we have to give them demach soro. We have to give them what they're lacking. Not what I want to give.
Well, I can give you $5 and that's it, but maybe they're lacking a smile. Maybe they're lacking a hug. Maybe it's not the money they're lacking. Well, we have to learn what is it that they need, and that's our responsibility of kindness. It doesn't mean that we can afford it. That doesn't mean we can fill it, but at least we understand what it is that they're lacking. My grandfather, in his discourses, thank you so much, in his magnificent work, the Ale
Shur, he has an entire section here talking with his students about how to become people who are perfect in our kindness. How do we become perfect in our kindness? So this is what he guides his students to, okay? The first thing, pay attention to the needs of another person. Every person in this room has a need right now. Every person has a need. For one person, the need is a compliment. For the other person, it's a smile. For another person, it's a good word.
For another person, it's a glass of water. Every person you meet has a need. Learn to develop the mechanism of identifying the need of another person. This was the charge. My grandfather writes over here. He brings that verse. He says, what does it mean? Every person needs something. Find out what they're lacking is. And he gives over here a guidance to the students. There are those, he says, you have to teach yourself and learn, develop a sensitivity to the needs of other people.
He says, when you hear somebody who lost his wealth, what do you say? Okay, we should all have such sorrows, right? It's like not a big deal. You went from a trillion to a billion. It's not a big deal. Right? No, no. That's not true. It's not true. You know, our stages would be, Saul Solanto would say that when you take away the little piece of wood that a child plays with in a bathtub that they imagine is a boat, when
you take it away from them, it's as if you just drown a mega yacht for an adult. You're like, what's the big deal? It's just a piece of wood. No, for them, that's their whole world. This is my whole world right now. And for the person who has a mega yacht that's worth $20 million, $30 million, and you just punched a hole and now it sank, they're going to be very upset. They're going to be very sad. It's the same thing. Yeah.
One is just a little piece of a toy, a plastic little boat that they're playing in a bathtub. But understand that for them, it's their whole world. This is their whole world is immersed in that right now. He says, everybody, some people will tell you what their lacking is and some people will not. And not only they will not, some people don't even know what their lacking is. They don't even know. He says what we need to do, and this is what he encourages here.
He says, one person needs financial assistance. Another person needs work. The third person needs advice. The fourth person needs health and healing. Another person needs spirituality. He says, everybody's got a need. I need to look and learn what every person's need is around me. What's every person's need? V'sim lev, and pay attention. Ka et anenu oskim b'maasechas. He says right now in this first introductory lecture on this, he says we're not going to talk about the acts of kindness.
We're going to talk about the recognition of kindness. What do people need? Recognize. What is the kindness they need? He says as soon as you learn a few times a day, recognize what the people around me need with the people that we have around us. This is magnificent work that Rabbi Shlomo Wolby, my illustrious grandfather, writes in his guidance to his students, to all of us, to learn the needs of another person. I want to give you an example to this, okay?
Does somebody need to tell you when you're tired and to go to sleep? Does someone need to tell you when you need the bathroom? Does someone need to tell you when you're hungry? Does someone need to tell you when you're thirsty? No, I know it instinctively. But how about if someone understood when you were hungry? When someone understood when you were thirsty? By the way, women have this intuition more than men do. A woman knows, it says, that a woman understands her guests.
I was once at someone's home and I ate something and the woman comes a few minutes later and she brings me more of what I was eating. So I looked at it, it's like, how did you know? She says, I know that you like that. Like she knew right away. My wife can remember every dish she served for every person who came to our house. She remembers what they liked, what they didn't like. You understand that there's a sensitivity to understand. There's something you need, you're thirsty.
I will share with you, I once had a meeting in my house and my wife was not home. I had a meeting with several people, friends. And my wife came home in the middle of our meeting and my wife looks and she's like, you didn't give them something to drink? Like we don't, we sometimes get so immersed in our own world, we don't realize the needs of the other person. That's kindness. So you hear this Mark?
Kindness is getting out of, we see the problem is we're living in our own selfish world where it's natural. I know what I need. How am I supposed to know what someone else needs? Well open yourself up. There's a whole world that you can learn about another person. It doesn't have to be everyone. Take one person. I want to gain an insight as to when they're hungry, when they're thirsty, when they're tired, so I can help them, so I can be there for them.
That's what true kindness is. People think, oh, he's so charitable, he just gave a $10 million gift to the Holocaust Museum. Wow, that's real kindness. No, that's not necessarily kindness. There could be not one ounce of kindness in that. It may be total kindness, but it's a bigger kindness when you're able to identify the needs of another person to the point where they don't even need to ask for it. Because it's embarrassing sometimes to ask. Sometimes it's embarrassing.
I need to go and ask someone for a favor. I need an inspirational pick-me-up today. I had a rough morning. I need something inspiring. Tell me something. It's hard for someone. I need some money to close out my month, to pay off my rent. It's embarrassing for someone. When someone understands on their own, that's true kindness. That's the kindness that the Torah wants us to be at that level, where we can have that
sensitivity for another person, where they don't need to come and ask us, we pick it up on our own. And our sages were great at this. Our sages learned this, because this is what the Torah teaches us. Our sages learned what it means to be sensitive to another person, to the degree where they don't even need to ask. They picked it up on their own. I can give you many, many stories of my rabbis, and how they had that sensitivity to understand
exactly what each of us students needed, and to be sensitive to it. It's a really incredible thing. So great question, Mark. I love that question, because I think it opens up a whole world of discovery. Maybe God willing, we will open up the Alishore one day together. Maybe we'll do this after our Och Hasidicim series. I actually have a lot of things planned for us. So God willing, we'll have a lot more learning to do.
Hashem should just give us health, so that we can continue to learn and explore His magnificent ways. Anna, go for it. You've got the next question. You've got the floor. So yesterday, I was in the community, and it was a stormy day in Houston. I went super prepared with my umbrella, to find out that umbrellas are not permitted on Shabbos. I looked it up afterwards, because it's constructing a temporary shelter. But really, really, does God want me to be soaking wet?
Because then I'm running into another problem. I'm not supposed to wring out my hair or my clothing. Is that not correct? Yeah, that is. So what... Talk to me. Okay. So I want to answer your question with a different question, okay? That's the way rabbis do it, right? We ask another question for every question you ask. So let me ask you a question. Actually, I'll say it as a story, okay?
Someone came to Rav Moshe Feinstein, and Rav Moshe Feinstein, the question was as follows. One of his children took a pencil and put it on the Shabbos table. Now a pencil is a forbidden writing utensil, and you're not allowed to do anything with it on Shabbos. You're not allowed to write with it on Shabbos, you're not allowed to erase with it on Shabbos, you're not even allowed to touch it on Shabbos. But it's right there in the middle of the Shabbos table.
One of the children took it, threw it, landed right there in the middle of the Shabbos table. He asked Rav Moshe Feinstein, can I move it? So Rabbi Feinstein asked him back, why do you want to move it? And there's a way to move it. You can move it with a roundabout way. You can push it off the table, not with your hands, not with your hand, not in an indirect way. There's ways to do it.
So Rabbi Feinstein asked him, why do you want to do that? He said, what do you mean? It's right there in the middle of my Shabbos table for the honor of Shabbos. It shouldn't be on the table. He says, for the honor of Shabbos, leave it on the table. For the honor of Shabbos. And it's a different, it's a total change in how we see Shabbos. We think Shabbos is, I want to look presentable and I don't want to have my hair soaking wet
and my clothes soaking wet. But that is the honor of Shabbos. The honor of Shabbos is, sometimes we're going to be soaking wet. We're not going to wring it out. We're just going to. If a person has another set of clothes, and I've had this many times, I once went, I walked a far distance for, on Shabbos, for a, it was either bar mitzvah or for some event that happened on Shabbos. I walked back to the neighborhood and it started pouring.
By the time I got back home, I was dripping wet, soaking wet. My suit looked like it was a rag. I mean, my shirt, you can see right through. I was soaking wet, top to bottom. Okay. It happened to be, I came home to my own house and I had an extra set of clothes. So I changed out of it, put on fresh clothes and I was ready to face the day, right? That's not always the case.
Like in your situation where you were a guest in someone's home, so it, you know, but I've been to people's home as a guest when it did rain on Shabbos and they lend me, lend me a pair of clothes. They lend me a set that I had to have with my children as well. That's part of the greatness of Shabbos. Sometimes we're going to be tested on Shabbos in a way that's going to make us be uncomfortable being comfortable with Shabbos.
Many times Hashem will test us being uncomfortable and that's part of the beauty of Shabbos. You know what? It's very uncomfortable having that pen right there in the middle of the Shabbos table. Learn to be comfortable with it because that is the honor of Shabbos, okay? It's a very, very special gift that Hashem gives us to learn more about Shabbos, to grow. And I commend you tremendously on your journey, on your going to the community for Shabbos,
being part of it, even though it was pouring rain and it's very easy to just like, no, you know what? I'm just going to stay home and to give it a shot and to try. And I recommend that you do that more often and come more to the community and see because when it's raining, it's hard to see like all those hundreds of kids walking around. It's just such a beautiful sight, you know, when it's raining.
And I know because I was in the neighborhood yesterday over Shabbos and yeah, because it's raining, you don't see as much going on. That's part of the challenge of, you know, picking the wrong Shabbos. But yeah, every Shabbos is a perfect Shabbos. Every Shabbos is a perfect Shabbos. And again, keep it up. Keep on enjoying every Shabbos and don't be afraid of the rain. I will just tell you that my grandfather, the aforementioned Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe would
walk in the rain from the yeshiva to his home very slowly. And the students would get very nervous during the weekday and he would come running with an umbrella, oh, you know, and he would say, it's okay, you can go. They're like, but you're going to get wet. He says, I'm not made out of sugar. I'm not going to melt. Right? It's nothing to people get so, well, it's going to be if you get wet. It's okay. You don't need to get worried.
You need to start running like a crazy person. It's okay. Just you be in control. That's the, it's another thing for another day, for another conversation. But I think it's just an amazing perspective that he had on that challenge. You have another question? Yes. Just for the record, I did not use my umbrella. My host family was beautiful and they gave me a rain jacket. That's beautiful. Yes. Amazing. So, yeah. But you know, that's part of the journey of learning about Shabbos.
There are many things that we, I'll give you an example of something I did not know. Okay. And this is, I've been observing at that time, I was observing Shabbos for 22 years of my life from when I was born, I was 22 years old when this happened. And I had a draft copy of a book that I was about to publish. And I, it was Shabbos afternoon, I pulled it out and I was looking at it and my friend says to me, what is that?
I said to him, this is an edit of one of the drafts before it goes to publication. He says, that's muktza. You can't touch that. It's called alei haga, which is edited documents. You can't, you're not, because what's going to be the impulse? Oh, oh, oh, found a mistake. I want to remark it. You're going to be tempted to mark it. You're not allowed to do that on Shabbos. I had no idea. Never knew. I said, thank you.
Open up the, I want to bring out that whole gray set over there. I want to show this to our viewers online. I highly recommend if you're looking to properly understand the laws of Shabbos, go out and treat yourself. Okay. Splurge, because it's not a cheap set. These four books are the most magnificent books you will ever find about the Shabbos. These are amazing. Now, I'll tell you what's amazing about it is that in the back of each one of these, there is an index.
So what you can do is look up umbrella and you will find exactly what page to turn to, to learn about the laws of an umbrella. And it is here, umbrella on page 1,064, and which one is 1,064? Right over here in this book, and you open up and it'll give you the exact laws relating to this. It'll tell you exactly what the source is. It'll tell you exactly what the foundation of it is, 1,064. Here we go. It's right over here. You have the laws.
He has actually a picture of an umbrella. And it really is tremendous learning through the chapter because he brings it down to its original source of why. Not just permit it, prohibit it. Why is it prohibited? Or why is something permitted? And this is an amazing, amazing book written by Rabbi Riviet. One other book, if you can bring that colorful one there. This book as well by Rabbi Baruch Sheit is amazing. It looks like a children's book. It's not.
It just shows you every single of the 39 laws of Shabbat with an explanation. This is what the tabernacle looked like. He points out exactly each part of the process that was done in the tabernacle that is prohibited on Shabbat. And he explains it here inside the book. You'll have each one of the dash, which is the threshing, the zora, the winnowing, the selecting, shearing. Each of these things were tasks that were required in the construction of the temple or in the
service of the temple and prohibited on Shabbat because the Torah, and this is again, this is all going back to the foundations of Shabbat. I highly recommend these two books as the staple for every Jewish home because you will learn so much in these books that are so practical, so relevant, and so eye-opening. The name of the books, 39 Malachos by Rabbi David Ribiat. And then you have the 39 Malachos of Shabbat by Rabbi Baruch Sheit. Both of them, again, I highly, highly recommend it.
You will have a completely new appreciation for Shabbat after studying with these books. Thank you. The other question is this, recently I stopped riding my bicycle on Shabbat for, right? I was riding for exercise, not any life or death situation. So I gave up my bicycle and- Congratulations. Thank you. I get to Shul yesterday and dozens and dozens of children had ridden there on their scooters and I was so jealous. I'm like, why? Why is that allowed and a bicycle's not allowed?
Okay, so it's very interesting. Actually, that's one of my pet peeves, okay? A scooter is permitted to ride on Shabbat, a bicycle not. A scooter is not, doesn't have a chain. The mechanism of repair is very, very different versus they're more stable and they're less likely, they're less prone to breaking and falling and fixing and all of that. That's number one. Number two is that the reason it's my pet peeve is because I feel that it's just not the form of Shabbos.
It's not the spirit of Shabbos, me personally. And this is my mishagas, my craziness, where I asked my children to not ride a scooter on Shabbat. It's not prohibited, but I think that it's not in the spirit of Shabbat. That doesn't mean that those who do ride them in the community are doing something wrong, but that's the one thing. My daughter actually yesterday, she's eight years old, and she said, can I ride a scooter? And I told her, you can ride a scooter.
But I would love for you to do the same thing that me and the rest of our sibling and the rest of our family have taken upon ourselves not to. You can do it if you want to. It's not a sin. It's not a crime. You're not going to be desecrating the Shabbos by doing so. But I would love it if you're part of our clique, where this is the thing that we don't do on Shabbat. It's our thing.
Now, again, we can get into the technicalities of it if you'd like, but basically the scooter is different than a bicycle in many, many ways. And one of them is that it's not considered muktza. Okay? Now, within the Eruv, within the boundary of the neighborhood, which becomes essentially one domain, it's permitted for one to ride that scooter, but not a bicycle. Okay? Excellent question. So yesterday when I was leaving the community, I saw a man walking on the street, the main
street that had nothing to do with the shul. I don't know. Right? I'm supposed to make the assumption that he has a permissible reason, but he had his talis on walking the very busy street and I was like, hmm, is that a thing? Can you wear it out of doors? Yeah, absolutely. A talis can be worn all day. There's no problem. You can walk around everywhere with it. Now, many people don't like to because they don't want to poke eyes to our non-Jewish neighbors.
They don't want to be walking around in a talis. But I walk from my house to the shul in my talis. That's not a problem. A talis is a prayer shawl, which has four corners and we put fringes on each of them. We put on four of them that go around and become, we have five knots as a process of how they are made. But that is a biblical command for us to wear a tzitzis on each of our four-cornered garments.
And Shabbos morning is a time where, you know, people go to synagogue dressed in their talis many times. You know, some people have it in the synagogue and it stays there the whole week. Some people have it at home and walk with it to synagogue. Either way, as long as someone is in the eruv, they can also carry it. So they don't need to actually wear it. But some have the custom to wear it out in the open and to be very proud of their Jewish
connection with God. And that's a great thing. I think it's a beautiful thing. But there's definitely no prohibition to wearing your talis out. There are some sources in Halacha which say to be cautious in a place where there is antisemitism, you probably don't want to poke the beer. And just like you, I wouldn't walk down downtown Berlin in 1939 with a talis on. You don't need to pronounce that in front of everyone, all right?
I recall that you can open an umbrella before Shabbos, keep it open, and then you'd be okay if you want to call the Halachic law. So is that accurate, halachically accurate? I don't think so. I don't think that that is accurate at all. Now I will tell you like this, okay, because you're creating, because now that you're lifting it up and using it, you're creating. Now if you stay under that umbrella all of Shabbos, that's a different story, okay?
But okay, let me just tell you like this. I use an umbrella every single Shabbos between Pesach and Sukkot. For six months, I use an umbrella. What type of an umbrella? You know those beach umbrellas that you use? Now why? Because I have a water station, we call it the hydration station outside my house, where we provide every Shabbos morning, we provide ice cold water, fresh spring water for everyone who passes by. Why? Why do we do that? Because it gets very, very hot.
People are walking to shul, people walking in the afternoon. There are times each one of those is I think five gallons. Sometimes we will finish two, five gallons of water on one Shabbos from all the people, all the kids walking by, all the adults walking by. And for us, it's a free mitzvah for us to, you know, replenishing people's thirst and, you know, hydration for those walking by. So the idea is like this, that even though we're using that umbrella, we don't open that umbrella on Shabbos, okay?
That umbrella is open before Shabbos. I can tell you that there are many times that we forgot to open it before Shabbos and there was no umbrella open for Shabbos. What can I do? I can't open it on Shabbos. It was already set and put in its place. That would be fine. It would be permissible. But not one that you, especially not one that you're walking around with and you're moving around and now you're taking, creating this new space with you, this new shelter with
you. All right. That's a good question, Mark, and I appreciate it. I actually have two important ones. First question is, you know, dating after 35 years old, thoughts, recommendations, practical advice. When was the first time in the Torah that it said, that God says that it's no good? Something no good. Because it says about everything that Hashem created that everything is good. Ketov, Ketov, Palmayim Ketov on Tuesday, it says twice that it's so good.
When man was alone, it is not good for man to be alone. You hear this, Mark? It's not good for man to be alone. And therefore, it's exceedingly important for someone who is single to find themselves a mate. It's important. And I highly recommend that you get yourself your resume, your marriage resume together and go find yourself someone suitable who can handle the goodness of Mark. All right. It's very, very important for you to find someone who is able to appreciate all of the
qualities that you have and someone that you can appreciate their qualities and bring them together to a whole new level of awesomeness. That's the goal. One second. One second. Go again. The dating pool after 35, you know, you have a lot of... So there are no single women over the age of 35. There's single parents, you know, things like that, a little bit more practical. And I'm maybe, let's say I'm asking for a friend.
Unfortunately, there's a very, very, very high percentage of men and women who are single seeking marriage over the age of 35. So I don't think you should feel that, you know, that ship has departed because there's still plenty of magnificent girls out there that'd be very lucky to have an incredible guy like you. Where would an incredible guy like me figure, you know, where to find an incredible gal like you? There are... Well, I'm not a gal, but yeah. I identify as a man. Okay?
It's good to know. Good to know. So I'll tell you like this, that there are resources out there. I would recommend that you stick to Jewish dating apps. Any ones in particular? I'm not familiar. I haven't been single in 25 years, so I don't know. But I will look around. And plus, network. Get around. Be around people in the community. People will meet you. People will always ask you when they see you on Shabbos, you're interested in dating?
Like, yeah, of course I am. Okay. I have a girl in mind for you. And that's the way it works in the community. It's just people seeing you and people, you know, thinking, one second, I may have an idea to help this guy settle down. That's really the trick. All right? I can tell you, my mom has set thousands of people up, of which I would say several hundred got married. I just have a few friends that are looking. Right. I understand.
So you should get involved in the community. That's what community is for. All right? That's right. That's right. Hashem is busy all day putting together Mark and his betrothed. It's not just me. It's my friends calling Hashem. I know. I know. He's asking for everyone. He's such a kind guy. I got another one for you, Rabbi. This is very important. You told me to get back to you about this concept about money in Torah.
And then I have a few sort of like, sort of path, you know, path dependent, how you answer it, what you answer it. And how I want to sort of get my personal clarity for this question and for some people that I've been discussing this concept with. So what's the question? Give me the question. So the question is, at the previous episode, or class that you gave, I think it was Talmud, I believe it was Talmud, I remember it as Talmud, thinking Talmud is class on Fridays
at 11, talking about how you can choose either, you know, it's hard, you can't pursue money in Torah. One sort of like gives way to the other. So I just wanted, I guess, first, I guess what the, I know you prepare, you may have some sources that you may want to share, wanted to go, you know, I guess we'll go deeper into that idea. And then I guess the next question would be, are they mutually exclusive? Is it one or the other?
And then if they are mutually exclusive, then, you know, I guess what's the path forward if you choose one, and what's the path forward if you choose the other? Okay, excellent question. I'm just going to try to repeat it so that it can be extra clear for all those who are listening. Okay, so imagine the following. Now, I'm asking the question on behalf of Mark, okay? Imagine the following. If I invest all of my time in spirituality, am I going to forego my materialistic pursuits?
And vice versa. If I invest all of my time in materialistic pursuits, am I going to forego my spiritual pursuits? So enter Ramchal. Ramchal was a Kabbalist, lived about 250 years ago, and he wrote a magnificent book called Messilas Yesharim, The Ways of the Upright, Way of the Upright. See, he says, I'm going to read to you two paragraphs here, which I think will completely illuminate this for us. Okay. Samo HaKadosh Baruch Hu LeHodam B'mokam SheRabim Bo HaMarchik HeB'osam Mimenu Yisborach.
Hashem placed us in this world, in a place, that there are many factors that distance man from Hashem. V'hinehem HaTavos HaChamrios. What are they? Specifically, the physical desires that are ever-present in our world. If a man gets drawn towards them, Now what happens? He gets drawn towards this materialistic world, and he steadily distances himself from the true good, which is our bond with God. And this, it emerges, is the struggle of life. The struggle of spiritual versus physical.
Inyanei HaOlam Bein LeTov Bein LeMuTov Hinehem Misyonos HaHaOlam. You have to know that all circumstances, whether they're favorable or adverse, are, in reality, tests for a person to overcome. HaOni Mitzad Echad. Someone who's poor, on one hand. VeHaOsher Mitzad Sheini. Mitzad Echad. Or someone who's wealthy, on the other side. And, as he brings up verses over here, HaShavu Mitzad Echad. HaYisur Mitzad Echad. Tranquility on one side. Suffering on the other side. Each one has its own virtues and has its own flaws.
As we see in this magnificent world that we live in. HaChenim Tzeis HaMolchama Elav Panim VaAchor. To the point where this battle and this struggle, to avoid temptation, comes upon him in front and from behind. We are all surrounded by this challenge of temptation. The Ramchal concludes. If he will be a valiant soldier of Hashem. He will be victorious in this battle of all sides. He will be a perfect man. Who will merit to be attached to his creator.
And he will leave this vestibule, this world that we're living in now, the world of preparation, and he will enter into the reception room, the world to come. The world, the place of ultimate good. And be illuminated with the light of life, the radiance of the Shekhinah. He says, at the same measure that you were able to overcome your temptations is the measure that you will be close to G-d. It's a big task. We're all going to be faced with this concurrent struggle.
On one side, we have the desire to be close to G-d, spiritually. On the other side, a little money can't hurt, right? A nice little luxury car can't hurt, right, Mark? Okay, one second. One second, we're not done yet. Now he says, and if you delve into this matter further, you will see that this world was created for us to enjoy. The world was created for us to enjoy. However, now we're in a big struggle, in a big balance.
If a person gets too drawn by the physical materialistic world, what's going to be the result? The natural reaction will be that he will distance himself from his Creator. He becomes degraded, and he degrades the whole world with him. However, conversely, if he's able to control himself and cleave to G-d, and he only uses this world materialistic pursuits for the service of G-d, he becomes elevated, and the world itself becomes elevated with him. Do you understand what Ramchal is telling us here, Mark?
If we cleave to G-d, everything becomes elevated around us. Also, the money you make so that you can serve G-d becomes elevated. We think money, material. G-d, spiritual. They're separate. No, G-d put you in the world. Blend the two together, but which one is going to take precedence? Which one is going to take priority? Your service of G-d, or your service for material pursuits? Well, that's going to be a determination that you're going to need to make.
If it is the material, then you draw everything down by the materialism. If it's G-d, you elevate everything with it. You're not going to make more or less money by being closer to G-d. You're not going to make more or less money by being materialistic and pursuing materialistic pursuits. You're going to get exactly what G-d defined for you anyway. It just matters where you're putting your priorities. Am I putting my priorities on my relationship with G-d? Or am I putting my priorities on my relationship with my money?
For indeed, it is a great elevation for all things in creation. Listen to this. When they are used to serve a spiritually perfected man, imagine your car now isn't a car anymore. It's a vessel to carry a godly creature in it. Who is sanctified with the ultimate sanctity of G-d, blessed is He. So now, what happens? The drapes aren't drapes anymore. They're here to service the servant of G-d. You understand? You're able to take the same money isn't money anymore.
They get elevated because they can now serve someone who is committed to cleaving to G-d. So it's our approach towards life, whether or not we're going to approach it as, I want to be close to G-d. It happens to be a byproduct is, in order for me to buy food for Shabbos, I need to work, I need to earn a living, I need funds for that. But what's the purpose? Is the purpose, I want the money, and by the way, I'll include G-d in this,
or I want G-d, and by the way, I need some money for this. Which one takes precedence? Which one is it for? And that's a determination that each one of us needs to make. Money is not evil, but it can be. G-d doesn't mean you isolate yourself from the world. On the contrary, we need to elevate everything that we have and make it godly. We try to do this, by the way. What is Shabbos? Shabbos is elevating time.
What is kosher food? We're elevating our soul. What is holiness of our body? We're elevating our body, our physical body. Food is spiritual, by the way. What we're trying to do is take all of the functions of this world and elevate them. When we recite a blessing, what we're doing is, this is no longer food. We think it is like, oh, I got this beautiful kosher burger. I'm going to bite into this and it's going to be so scrumptious and delicious. Physical.
Well, if it becomes a vessel through which I connect to Hashem, and instead of just biting into it, I stop and I recognize that this is a gift from G-d, and I recite a blessing, this now is no longer a burger that's physical. This now is elevated because it was a vessel through which I connected to G-d. So two people could be sitting there across the table from each other, having the exact same order from the kosher deli of their sandwich,
and one recited a blessing and now elevated his food to a spiritual food, and one, it's still physical. That's the power that we have within us. Where do we put our priorities? Do we put our priorities in our cleaving to Hashem, or do we put our priorities in our materialistic pursuits? Mark, I hope I answered your question, because this is the essence of our entire life. The entire goal, our entire pursuit is this. You have a follow-up?
If you just sort of play along with me and be the devil's advocate, let's say that you want to choose physicality, you want to choose money, what's the path forward? How does that unfold? Why do I want money? You just want to have a lot of money. For what? Just play devil's advocate. No, no, no, I know, but I'm asking you a question. You want to have a lot of money so that you can pay everybody's rent, and you want to pay everybody's house,
and you want to buy everybody's food, and you want to give everybody all the money that they need. Am I doing it because… And if that means no more spirituality in Torah for me, but I'm going to go get that money. One second. Is it a personal, physical, materialistic pursuit, or is it because I'm spiritual and holy, and I want to be able to do acts of kindness because this is what God wants me to do? It's the same money.
Now, what is the motive behind it? If the motive is I really want a closeness to God, and this is a way in which I can be godly, and again, I can't determine whether or not that's being honest. You can for yourself, and that's your job, is to identify within yourself whether or not you're being truthful to yourself, and this is the reason. Or maybe you just want to have a lot of money so you can buy a nicer car
and pick up those aforementioned shidduch dates. Yeah, well, that too. Okay, okay. So that every person needs to know, and every person needs to identify, okay? If the goal is I want money so that I can serve you, Hashem, in a better way. So does that mean that, hey, Schneider, or let's say Joey, you're pulling back from your Torah study and let the rabbis take care of the Torah, let the group that focuses on the Torah let me 24-6 focus on them?
That's what I'm trying to understand. Is it mutually exclusive? How do I find that balance? Again, this is what the Ramchal teaches us as the balance a person needs to have. Yes, there's nothing wrong with you going out and pursuing a livelihood, and pursuing it ferociously, going after every deal, going after every lead, go for it. And back off the Torah. But one second, what is the purpose? Is the purpose just because I want money or because I want it to serve God?
Now, there's powers of evil, by the way. And if you say, I just want money so that I can go crazy and do things in Vegas and whatever, the Yetzirah might say, you know what? That's a really good idea. I wanna give this guy a lot of money and I'll figure out a way for this guy so that way he's so far from God and it's a great investment. The problem is, is that then you say, you're tempted by this, right, Mark?
You're tempted by this because you're like, then I'm gonna do a trick on him and I'm gonna turn the corner. I'm gonna say, ah, I tricked you. Really, I wanna support Torah, right? He's not dumb. Yetzirah knows exactly the deal. And by the way- I've flown close to the sun before. I've made money in my life. I've been periods of time where I had no money. I've had periods of time where I've had nowhere as much as yourself, probably. Maybe, who knows?
I don't know. I don't care. I don't know where my savings are. Maybe you can tell me. You know what I'm saying? Shem has got it. He's got it figured out. But I'll tell you like this. Really, a person needs to know. I know guys that do extremely well in Jewish, don't study, not even- A lick of Torah. Not a lick of Torah. Right, okay, that's- Do I need to- Is that my cut? That's the Yetzirah
trying to keep them busy in that world so that they don't get involved in spirituality and holiness, okay? Now, every person has to make their own choice, and this is why we have free will. A person can say, you know what? God, I'm sorry. I tried it your way. I'm trying it my way now. Right, interesting. Good luck. Wow. Good luck. I wouldn't recommend it, okay? Because Hashem, again, He's got a little bit more experience than us.
He's got a whole world, right? He's HaYehovah of the Year. He was, He is, He will be. Hashem's got the full picture. We are just little creatures here for a short period of time. That's true. We get to see that picture. All right, Mark. Let's pass the microphone. Yeah, great, great questions. Thank you. I don't know if I have a second question, but I certainly have a first. Okay. Over the last couple of weeks in class,
we discussed the 72 minutes. Yeah. And today, we have an answer. Correct. Which is, for those that didn't tune in, that the reason why we choose 72 minutes within the time that we have to say the blessing after the meal is because that's how long it takes to digest food. Mm-hmm. Okay. My question is, realizing that this is one of the main answers to that question, that is, that that's the amount of time it takes to digest food,
how does that have a bearing on the malakalochis, the continual disagreement between the various rabbis and the various sects as to how long you have to wait after eating meat before you can eat milk? If, in fact, the point is, if the meat is entirely digested in the 72 minutes, why do you have to wait three to six hours instead of 72 minutes? That's an excellent question. Okay, so that has nothing to do with digestion.
It has to do with the flavor that still remains in your mouth and sometimes bits of meat that stay between your teeth and things of the like. By the way, I walked into a restaurant last week. I was in California. As many of you know, I went for a wedding, a beautiful wedding, my first cousin, and I walked into a restaurant that had a big sign on the front door that certain cheeses that they sell, you need to wait six hours for those cheeses
because they're hard cheeses and the cheese gets stuck between your teeth in your mouth, keeps the flavor going up to six hours, and therefore you have to wait six hours for that as well. Typically, for cheese, you have to wait half hour. You rinse out your mouth. You're ready to go for meat, but that's not always the case. That's definitely not the case for meat to milk, from meat to dairy that you need to wait, and that's because there is a prolonged flavor,
not digestion, prolonged flavor, and as we learned in this week's Torah portion in Mishpatim, lo seva shel gedi b'chalevi mo, there are three times that the Torah says do not mix the milk. Do not cook a gedi in the milk of its young, and our sages explain that this is the mixture of milk and meat that is prohibited. There are three different times that it says it. Why does it say three times? To teach us not to eat it, not to cook it,
not to benefit from it, and again, we'll get into this in a more detailed way, God willing, in one of the future episodes. We're going to get to it soon as well, but the important thing for us to remember about this is that the 72 minutes has nothing to do with that. This is digestion. This is flavor still sticking around in your mouth, so that's why. You have another question. Thank you. Yeah, and this is in relationship to what Mark asked.
It seems to me that there's a conception that we need to be on the horns of a faulty dilemma. You know, it's either make money or study Torah, when in fact, why doesn't Judaism say, hey, you're looking at this wrong. You can have both. Study the Torah for the purpose of knowing why you want to make the money, and then make the money for the purpose of doing something that is saintly. You know, I know of so many super, super rich Jews
who when they go to make more money, they go, I want to build another yeshiva. I want to do this, and I'm going to give some more tzedakah, and I know God will fulfill his promise to me. Just like he said to Abraham, I'm going to make you famous, and I'm going to make you rich, so that people will listen to you. Not so that, it's true, you will enjoy it, but it's not for that purpose. It's for the purpose so that prominent people
and kings will listen to you when you say something to bring them closer to Torah. Okay. That's an excellent question, and I'm happy that you brought that up. I want to give you a story to share with you. There is a man who lived in Rechavia in Jerusalem, the neighborhood in Jerusalem, and my brother heard this story from him where he would tell the students. He was a very, very wealthy businessman, and he would give an enormous amount of charity,
and he said that every single year before Shoshanna, he would make a commitment of how much charity he wanted to give based on how much money he wanted to make that year. Okay, so imagine he wanted to make a million dollars. He would make a commitment immediately of how much charity he would want that would warrant him that million dollars. He has to give 10%, so it would be $100,000 of donation, and he would give considerably more than that,
and he said that without an exception every single time this worked. He was very, very, very committed to charity. He was a trusted steward of Hashem's money, and when the deal came in front of the Almighty, God says, yep, you can trust this guy. He gives his money exactly the way he did, and he said many years he was being tested because he would give the money right away, and he'd be waiting for the money to come in to cover it. He committed it.
He'd make the pledge, and he doesn't know where the money's going to come to cover it, but he made that commitment. That's one way to work on it, and I think, Mark, that might be a good solution because I'll tell you like this. I personally have heard so many people make promises. If I make this amount of money, I will give to charity this and give to charity that, and I don't think one of them came through. I don't think one. Okay?
Not because they didn't make the money. They made the money, but they decided, you know, I'm going to reinvest it, and you're going to make more money. Like, they never came through with their thing. I think that a person has to actually follow through, make a commitment, write the check, say don't deposit it yet. I'll tell you when you can deposit it because I made a deal with God that he will give me this success in my business
so that you can deposit that check, and that's a big, it's always a big question. Does the Yetzirah win and decide that, you know, try to persuade God that you not make it so that you don't support Torah? Or does the heavenly decree say, no, no, no, no, this is going to go for a good cause. He should succeed because he's giving to a good cause, and that's the balance. Let the heavens deal with that. But I think on our side,
we need to realize that Hashem wants us to have good. You believe that, Mark? Hashem wants us to have good, and we have to recognize that 100%, Hashem wants us to have good. We have to be worthy recipients of that good. And if we make that pledge, we make that commitment, you know, there's a group of people that I know that every year, the Shabbos before Rosh Hashanah, they get together and they make silent pledges. They make silent pledges
of exactly how much they want to give that year. And there, there's some, you know, early sages that say that if you do such a thing, it's a special merit that on Rosh Hashanah, you'll have a pronouncement in heaven that you will make tenfold that so that you can give the Maaser, the tithe, as you pledged. I think it's a great thing for a person to live in that reality. For a person to realize, first and foremost, that everything comes from Hashem.
But to sign it away already, it's not mine. Hashem, you're giving it to me so that I can give it away. It's not mine. Right? The extra 90% that you'll be able to keep is your benefit for making such a pledge. And that's, I think, a great thing for a person to do. One second, Janet here from YouTube is saying, I want money to give more tzedakah. That's great. So make a pledge, make a commitment. Say, Hashem, I'm going to give $100,000 to torch
or to whatever charity you choose. Torch, yeah, torch could use it, right? And Hashem, succeed my way so that I can give it. And you'll see miracles come your way. So Janet, do it. Make that commitment. And by the way, you can send a check and tell me, don't deposit it. I'll let you know when you can, when I make the money to cover it. A person can do that. And not only that, I'll tell you even more than this, okay?
I'll open it up a little bit more. I know people who put charities in their business deals where they signed on a real estate deal. They're buying a piece of property and they put, they have a partner, they have investors, they have this, they have that. And they put in a charity as a percentage owner in the company so that anything that comes about from this business deal goes straight to the charity. It's not even, we have to give it.
It's theirs because they're a partner in the deal. So that's also a way for a person to really bring out the mercy from heaven and to bring out the blessing. That it's not just, okay, if at the goodness of my heart, because I was once, I had a Shabbos meal once right before the big, big, big lottery was being drawn. It was like 600 million at the time. It was probably 18 years ago. And everyone, we were going, it was like a big talk.
It was like the biggest lottery ever. Today we've had already over a billion several times in the lottery. Anyway, they were talking, we had a bunch of young professionals there and some not so young professionals. And they went around the table discussing what they would do if they won that money. And everyone was talking about all these grandiose plans of what they would do. They would give charity and they would pay off all the debts of all the Jewish institutions.
And they'd build this and build buildings and give money to torch. I heard all the promises you can imagine. And one guy got up and he says, I think everybody in this room is full of untruths. He says, why? He says, because do any of you give now? You don't give now. So what makes you think that when you have a billion dollars, suddenly then you're going to be able to start giving? And that person actually was correct
because that person themselves was a regular giver. And they gave to various different institutions. They were already exercising the muscle of giving. If you don't exercise that muscle of giving, don't think that when you have the money, suddenly it's going to fall on you. Oh, now I'm going to give. No, people who don't exercise the muscle of giving don't give even when they have. And I can show you those people as well. People who have billions of dollars and don't give.
And people who have a few dollars and they give everything that they can because they're exercising that giving. Do you know that every day in Shul is a specific time in our prayer when we're supposed to give? Okay, it's in the Pesach de Zimra. We're going to get to it in a few weeks when we get to this part of prayer. But it's a special time that we're supposed to give. Why? When we say the following words. Listen to these words.
Yours, Hashem, is the kingdom and the sovereignty over every leader. Wealth and honor come from you and you rule everything. Take some money out of your pocket and put it into the tzedakah, into the poshka. In your hand is power and strength and it is in your hand to make anyone great or strong. What do we do? We don't hold on to the money. We give it away. We show that we realize with a realness that it's not ours. It's Hashem's.
We're stewards of His money. And we're giving it away right now. We just put it into the poshka, yes. Okay, since you mentioned the word percent, you've taught us in the past that the 10% is what the minimum is required of us as our partnership with God. Correct. Okay. And the real tzedakah only comes when we start to give more than the 10%. And I've also been taught that we are prevented from giving more than 30%
so that we will not become a burden on society. Therefore, logic says without a doubt, if I want to have more money for my pleasure, what I need to do is to see how close I can get to the 30% because that will mean that I will get 70% of a much larger pot. Yeah, 100%. Okay. You figured out the science here. Well, God has sometimes lent me a little logic. Okay, good. Okay. So I just want to say
when I heard the first part of that, which was the 10% is what's required as your partnership with God, everything over and above that is your real true tzedakah. This was a year or two ago. That's correct. Okay. That I have steadily been increasing my percentage. From the time I was a student and had no money, I pledged that I would give my 10% and funny, I never missed it. And now that I'm giving more than my 10%, it's peculiar,
but funny, I don't miss that extra percentage and strangely, I perceive that I have more than I had when I was only given 10%. Correct. So I really hope God gives me the opportunity to give 30%. Amen. Amen. So I'll tell you like this, that the more we give, the more we get. We think that I'm giving away, so I'm not going to have. It's not true. Hashem just refills what we give. The more we give, the more we get.
Hashem sees us as good stewards of His money, that we're giving it as His representatives in this world. And by doing so, Hashem says, I can entrust you with more. All right. My dear friends, we've gone way over time. Have a magnificent, beautiful, terrific, delicious day. I look forward to continuing our study together. We have many classes tomorrow. I look forward to learning and growing more. Have a great, beautiful week ahead.