The Friday Nightmares Podcast | The Friday Nightmares Podcast: Episode 96

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 96 of The Friday Nightmares Podcast. On this episode we continue scouring the streaming services for any 2024s and we definitely have some interesting ones to talk about!

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Hello, everyone, and welcome to Episode 96 of The Friday Nightmares Podcast.

I am one half of your hosting team this evening, coming to you from the town of Swartz Creek in the county of Genesee, in the state of Michigan, in the United States of America, in the North American continent, in the Western Hemisphere, on the planet Earth, in the Milky Way Galaxy.

I'm fully vaxxed, boosted, and waxed, and ready to climax, and if you can, please get me wet and feed me after midnight.

I'm the man with the glorious beard, aka Mother of Cats, aka the man with the humongous ego, aka Scott Howzen, aka Scottie too Hottie, aka Spanky, aka one half of your premium podcasting duo.

I am Smoke Show Crawford, and with me as always is...

Heather Powell, who has returned from her trip abroad and did not recreate the sequel to As Above, As Below.

Or is it As Above or Is Below?

What is it?

As Above, So Below.

So Below, yeah, didn't recreate the sequel to that.

Disappointed, very disappointed.

I know, I know.

I didn't even run around yelling baguette, baguette.

Like, it was...

you would be disappointed all around, as you should be.

I just don't know.

I can't with this, Heather.

Like, just disappointed, like 2024 has disappointed you.

But I'm coming to you today from Watertown, Ontario, Canada, and Scott needs to add something to his intro.

Everyone knows by now, it will be old news by the time Scott releases this episode, probably around the time of his actual wedding day.

Scott and Erica, his beautiful, lovely fiancee.

I don't think I'll ever get tired of saying that until I can actually...

Though, I do refer to her as your wifey, in legal sense.

And in God's eyes, Scott, in God's eyes, when you make your union, got engaged.

We sure did.

And yeah, I'll say everything that could have went wrong for the proposal did go wrong, but it created such a great memory for us.

So I'll kind of break down the story here.

So what happened was...

That's on the background at all times 24-7 around here.

And then you put on solo because we're not pussies like horror for dummy.

What's it?

Dummy's a horror.

Yeah.

Oh, guys.

Watch out.

We watch solo.

Listeners beware, pussies.

So the plan was I was going to buy the engagement ring and do this properly.

Well, unfortunately, all three of our cars decided, you know what?

We're not going to work.

We're around the same time.

So we borrowed my stepdad's vehicle, and that worked half the time.

So we were just having financial car problems left and right.

So I had to postpone on that.

But the problem was I had already told the boys that I was planning on proposing to their mother.

They didn't know exactly when.

They just knew it was coming up soon.

So I had to nip this in the bud before they accidentally spoiled it.

So for Mother's Day, I ended up getting her this digital picture frame that I uploaded all of our memories that we have created together, all of our photos and stuff like with our pets and our kids and all this.

And at the very end, I uploaded a meme that said, will you marry me?

Because I did not have the ring, but like I said, wanted to jump on it.

Well, that was all going to happen on Mother's Day.

Well, Mother's Day got screwed up because her family guilt tripped us into hosting a Mother's Day cookout.

So I said, fuck it.

We're doing this Saturday.

So I got the boys to bring up their gifts for her, their mom, and then I'd had mine to be open last.

And, you know, they're going, she's going through the gifts and I give her mine and I have her plug it in and look through all the photos.

And the meme is supposed to show up at the very end of all the photos.

However, it showed up the second fucking photo.

While Jaden is watching, like through the photos, he's in the way because our where we were all sitting in this kind of a narrow spot.

So I had to go, move, move, move.

So I kind of just pushed him out of the way real quick and slid in my one knee.

And as I am proposing to her, Jaden starts poking Connor and harassing Connor to the point where Connor starts choking Jaden out behind me.

And Jaden, one of Jaden's defenses is he screams, he's raping me.

And I'm screaming or he's screaming this as I'm proposing to Erica.

So I just I feel like this is just teenage boys and your daily life.

Well, that's exactly what I said.

I'm like, I embrace all of this chaos and I want I want to be a part of it.

So it ended up being a wonderful memory that we can share.

She hesitate.

Did she hesitate when she thought about all the movies she's going to have to watch?

No, though, I think after this weekend, she might.

Was one of the big reasons she said yes is because she automatically gets me as a best friend.

Be honest.

I think that was like at least 25 percent of the reason why she said yes.

I'm thinking so.

She's like, is Heather part of the deal?

Of course she is.

Of course.

I was so and I'm glad you didn't tell me because I would have been so annoying.

And it's none of your business, right?

You have the right to obviously, that goes without saying, to tell whoever you want.

But I missed it the first time.

So I got up Mother's Day.

I just got back from my flight and I thought I'm going to send because I really do think Erica is a phenomenal mother for so many reasons.

I won't go and tell them on this podcast, but I will just say Erica is an amazing mother.

So I was like, I'm going to send her a Mother's Day message because I think she's so great.

So I send this message not knowing you guys got proposed the night before, like you proposed to her the night before.

I had no idea until I went into our chat group with the guys from Dummies of Horror and Rob the Hump from Slasher Radio, and I was like, wait a minute!

Processing, processing.

And then I had to go back and give another message congratulating her and obviously you on the wonderful news.

It's really, really exciting.

Yeah, I am so excited.

We are going to do a Halloween themed wedding in 2025 in October, and we're going to have our guests dressing up in costume.

And obviously you are going to be there.

We ain't going to have like no typical bridesmaids, stuff like that.

She's going to have the boys on her side, and I'm going to have you and my cousin Ron on my side.

You know what's funny?

I don't think you ever asked me.

I think we just assumed.

You were like, so you'll be there.

I was like, I thought we already talked about this and it was decided.

Well, we did.

We I did ask you it.

No, I thought we just assumed.

I thought you were like, so you'll be in it.

I'm like, yes, I will be.

No, I thought that was.

I think it was like a couple of days later.

Oh, I was like, I thought you knew the answer was yes.

Anyway, I already assumed I was in the wedding party sky.

Well, I mean, you already knew you were, but you know, it's proper for me to ask.

Right.

Well, it's Ron and I take.

Well, I was.

Yeah, I was probably too excited and jetlagged to remember you even asking me.

It was a rough.

This was a rough coming home.

I got kind of sick on the plane back, like tummy sick and yeah, I had some big digestion issues for the first about five days I was home.

So I wasn't all with it.

But man, am I so excited, and I know the boys are going to be on Erica's side, which I think is really nice.

Yeah, I know it's going to be really awesome, like we've already got the hall picked out.

We've already got a photographer picked out.

We got DJs picked out.

We got my hotel picked out to get drunk in.

It's priority, Scott.

Priorities.

Exactly.

I got to figure out where I'm going to drink.

I'm like, okay, there's an Applebee's nearby.

I can go there.

Well, we're going to have alcohol.

Oh, I know.

I mean like Friday night.

Scott, it's not just Saturday.

It will be a whole weekend, and there's some Canadians coming, not just me.

So I'm very excited for that, too.

I'm so excited for you, too.

And it's nice to formalize it.

Even though the commitment was always there, it is nice to formalize it.

Yep, because I was going to say, the funny thing is, she was that this the entire week before the proposal, friends of hers and coworkers of hers were, he hasn't proposed to you yet?

We thought you guys were already engaged.

She's telling me this, and I'm just sitting here biting my tongue.

Sorry, go ahead.

I'll say what I ended up telling her was because I was like, well, you already know I'm going to, but I just want to make sure you are surprised and don't know when it's going to happen.

Well, you did surprise her.

You definitely threw her off.

And she did.

Do you know that we FaceTimed and judged you on it?

No, I'm just kidding.

I'm sure FaceTime me then.

She did FaceTime me.

Oh, did she really?

Yeah, she did.

Yeah.

Yeah, Scott, we have our own relationship.

Just so you know.

But yeah, she's really excited, as she should be.

This is such a special time, you know, the whole time getting up to it, where it's going to be great making her watch all these shitty horror films.

And basically, I hope you write that in your vows, that as being married to a premium professional podcaster, she must engage in watching the finest that 2B has to offer.

All for our dozens of listeners.

Dozens and dozens of listeners.

We have more than that, Scott.

We have at least like a hundred, okay?

I think it's just the same dozen listening over and over again.

Maybe, it's just us listening over and over again at this point.

Oh, man.

But no, this is fab news.

And I just want to reinforce again, the most important thing of all this is that I was right.

Yes, you were.

I called it at the beginning, Scott insisted he would not be engaged anywhere before two years of their courtship.

And I insisted that they would be.

And how long have you and Eric have been together when you pop the question?

A year.

A year?

No.

It was a year and five months, almost a year and a well, we'll round it up to a year and a half.

Yeah, you live together.

That already adds on times.

I don't know.

So crazy to think that in another month, they will have been here a year, you know, and it's been a quick year.

Yeah, it really has.

Right.

And your life has like, I was thinking about that in the shower.

I know that sounds really creepy to say I was thinking about you and your family in the shower.

But as I was showering, getting ready for this session today, this session today, like a therapy session, therapy session about 2024 horror films.

I was thinking, Holy fuck, Scott's life has changed.

Like what a what a journey from when we first started this to now.

Like people started listening.

Like, I don't know what's more interesting, the movies or your dating life and where you are today.

I've got to think of their like tide.

I mean, some of the dating stories I've probably shared are probably more scary and horror filled than the horror films.

Word, word.

So I'm going to spice it up a little bit now that we've now we've finished talking about Scott and his life, I'm going to I'm going to talk about some of the cool things I did in England and France quickly, because, you know, I don't want to save it to the end in this Babylon when we're tired.

We got a lot of fucking movies.

I had to add another one that I forgot that I watched.

So that should be fun.

Oh, boy.

Yeah, I'll have to read the fucking Wikipedia notes.

But anyway, so as we all know, I am very, very privileged and I traveled over to the UK and here we go.

But there's a couple things I need to shout out.

One is the Rusted Ghoul Cafe that is located in Gateshead, England.

For anyone who plans on visiting, it is on the opposite side of Newcastle.

You just kind of Google it and you can find it.

And this is run by a lovely couple who also had a goth-themed wedding that I got to see their pictures of, which was lovely.

And what was so goth-themed wedding?

They have like Chucky.

They also had a gizmo.

They had what else did they have?

They had like a pinhead.

They have Freddy Krueger sitting in a chair while he's like having a coffee kind of thing on the front window.

So it's a horror-themed cafe, and they do like the typical latte stuff like that.

They're trying to get their liquor license, but they do things like a singles night for horror fans.

Oh, that's cool.

Isn't that fun?

And they've done some drag shows, they've done some night markets where they have people that make horror stuff and sell it.

I bought a couple of things from them.

There was a bracelet, and I bought a little picture.

The lady there embroidered, so she embroidered a skull.

And it's really, really badass that I have.

So they are located in Gateshead, England.

Please, please, please go visit if you get a chance to.

They have awesome taste in music, and it's a lot of fun.

It's for realsies.

You can find them on Facebook, I'll share a link in the page.

And if you're anywhere in the UK, please go support them.

Small business matters, and they are totally dedicated to the horror theme life.

So we went there several times and played a couple of horror trivia games while we were there, which were really cool.

So that was the one thing.

The second thing is I saw an adaptation of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

And have you read the book?

I feel like you would have read the book.

No, I actually have the audiobook, because I do plan on listening to it at some point.

So when you do listen to it, this play took the part where they're on the ship.

And the gentleman who created Frankenstein is confronted by the ship's captain.

They're out in the ice somewhere.

I think it's towards the end of the book.

And it was two actors.

So they were playing a couple that's expecting a baby, and they were flashing back and forth between different roles.

So they would be themselves, and then a set change in the sense of lights flashing and stuff like that would occur.

And they would change into being the captain and Victor Frankenstein.

And it was fucking incredible, Scott.

I couldn't even look away.

These two actors were so impressive.

And basically, also ballet dancers, very physically fit.

They were holding each other up in the air in these crazy positions.

And basically, it was kind of an analogy to Frankenstein being dehumanized much to, as they're going through the challenges of having this baby, there's a homeless character that they refer to that's dehumanized as well.

So it was kind of, it was a metaphor to many, many, many things.

People going through change, having a baby, and the idea of creating Frankenstein, and then the idea of dehumanization of someone because they don't fit a mold.

It was very, very moving, actually.

So that was seen at something called the Northern Stage, which is located in Newcastle.

So I encourage anyone to check out plays there.

They're quite good.

I'm trying to think.

I saw the first Omen in the movie theaters there, which we'll get to later, which was interesting.

I'll definitely give my friend Mark's takes on it because I think you and him will have very similar views.

I know you haven't had a chance to watch it yet, but when you do, I think you will hit me on the same page as him on some thoughts on it.

And let's see here.

That was horror related.

And I guess finally would be, we did a dark history tour of France, or Paris, I should say.

So we went to downtown, I guess you could say downtown Paris, or like where the Louvre is and Notre Dame.

So Notre Dame, which is still under construction.

Let me tell you, it's incredibly-

Oh yeah, I forgot about all that.

Right, so like Paris is breathtaking.

I don't know if that's something for you and Erica in the future when the boys are older, but to go, it is incredible.

Like it is just the history, everything else.

So this dark history tour was quite interesting.

Talked about France's very dark history with like executions in the public squares and how gruesome they were, like basically torturous and how they have their own version of a Sweeney Todd story.

And probably the funniest thing is, so the gentleman that was doing the tour had lived in Vancouver for a little bit and had gone to film school.

So of course, I started asking him about like martyrs and like raw and French horror films, which he knew all about, by the way, and we talked about together.

So that was pretty cool.

So as always, a very good visit.

Unfortunately, couldn't get into the catacombs.

They were sold out.

So anyone who's going, yeah, they only open the tickets a week in advance.

And I didn't realize this, but we were there on a European holiday.

So of course, right, everybody and their mom was there.

So the tickets were sold out.

So unfortunately, we were not able to get tickets for that.

So that's why you couldn't reenact as above, so below.

Damn it.

I couldn't run around doing found footage stuff, right?

So it was very fun, but definitely I really wanted to highlight the rest of the ghoul.

I think that they're doing a great job of having this complete horror themed cafe.

They're true horror lovers, this couple that runs it.

And I definitely want to see them succeed.

So I will be bringing them back some of my trivia games when I go back to visit to donate to the cause.

But I just, you know, I don't know if we have anyone listening in England or if anyone's traveling over there anytime soon.

I do recommend checking it out if you're in the area.

It's a lot of fun.

So that was basically my trip in a nutshell.

And then I had upset tum tum coming home.

I was sick for like four or five days.

And I think I just like my eating schedule was so thrown off because it's five hours behind.

And then I'm traveling back here to being five hours ahead.

And I just got fucked up.

I think I just got upset tum tum and just was not in a good place.

But I have recovered.

I have made it through.

Scott's and Erica's love is the thing that has inspired me.

Twenty twenty four horror films, which I did watch a couple of these with my friend Mark when I was over there.

So I'll be able to give his thoughts.

Actually, the first one him and I did watch together and I was super pumped about this.

I'll let you lead it in because I'll talk about the next one.

But he enjoyed it quite a bit.

Oh, awesome.

OK, so let me bring up the synopsis real quick.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you had it already.

I should have been, but we were talking.

OK, so the first one on the list is another child of David Cronenberg, and it's his daughter, Caitlin Cronenberg's first directorial debut or directorial debut.

It's called Humane.

Dying makes all the difference in the world.

In the wake of an environmental collapse that has forced humanity to shed 20% of its population, a family dinner erupts into chaos when a father's plan to enlist in the government's new euthanasia program goes horribly awry.

So, yeah, I watched this one while you were gone because I had been hearing about it.

And, you know, if it's a family member of Cronenberg, I gotta fucking check it out because I know it's going to be at least interesting.

And yeah, while different than her father and her brother, this was still a really good movie because she didn't really dive into the body horror like those two do.

Hers was definitely more sociopolitical and had a little more comedy to it.

And I just thought this was a really fun movie.

Like, I had so much fun watching it.

And when I seen this, I'm going, yeah, Heather is going to love this.

I got to let her know about it.

But I found like all the characters are very unlikable for the most part besides one.

And because they're like basically a family of spoiled rich kids that, you know, their father was a governor at one point or worked for the government at one point.

And they're all like just kind of ego driven and but yeah, like the story behind this and them getting going through the situation was very entertaining, to say the least.

Yeah, I thought this was a perfect runtime to at 93 minutes.

Like I thought it was perfectly done.

This was all filmed in Hamilton, Ontario.

I knew the house that it was filmed at.

It killed me.

It's actually one of the bigger homes in this area.

But I agree with everything you're saying, Scotty.

I think where she differs is I think all three of them are social political, but I think she's more of the dark comedy with it.

Right?

Does that makes any sense?

I wouldn't say that the other two are funny in their movies.

Like maybe there's humorous parts, but it's not meant to be funny.

Like parts of this film was meant to be funny.

Right?

Like it definitely kind of promoted to a certain kind of sense of humor.

I know my friend Mark really enjoyed it as well.

He thought it same thing, well acted, well filmed, good plot line, you know, endearing characters, did what it was supposed to do in the timeframe that it was presented.

I'm a Cronenberg fan now of all of them.

I think they're all great.

Yeah, they all have their own unique specialties.

And yeah, I definitely look forward to seeing what her sophomore effort will be.

And I'm obviously can't wait to see what Brandon Cronenberg does next.

And I do hear rumors that David Cronenberg has got another movie coming out too.

So I'm very curious to see what that is.

Nice.

Well, this has a variety of ratings.

Matt Wood gave it three and a half stars.

You've given it four.

I'm giving it five.

It spoke the Heather language.

Like this was a Heather film written all over it.

And I love the fact that the majority of the cast was Canadian.

Well-known Canadian actors too.

Some people might know who...

I'll never say his name completely right.

Yeah, Breschall.

Because he worked with Seth Rogen and stuff like that in a lot of their comedies.

Very well-known Canadian actor.

So I was really happy to see him.

I think he's quite good.

Emily Hampshire is quite good as well.

And so is Elana Bales.

I've seen her in other stuff too.

So it was nice to see some recognizable faces in this.

And I thought the guy that played, we'll say the antagonist, was excellent.

Yes.

Very, very good.

And yeah, this is a great film.

I definitely recommend it.

I don't know.

I have nothing but praise for this.

Even if, like, it's not so socially political that you're going to roll your eyes and be like, oh, no, you're going to probably be like, you know, this might happen one day.

Like, it's not, I don't think it sits on either side, to be honest with you.

I think it just says that we're in a situation where our planet is becoming overpopulated and we are, you know, in a global warming crisis.

That's a real thing.

No matter what political leaning you have, the Earth is your Earth, and there's some fucking problems.

So I think, I think this is pretty palatable to all political sides.

Yeah.

I don't know.

What do you think?

I think it's definitely very palatable, and it's a good, I would say, almost introductory, introduction to people that are not big into horror.

This is definitely more digestible for the mainstream, because for one, it's not over-the-top, violent and gory.

It's done with restraint.

And I think it works in its favor for that.

That's a really good point.

So if people want to check it out, it is available to rent on all the streaming services.

I would say it's worth whatever amount of money you want to play.

If you're interested in this, and it's $5.99, I think $5.99 is worth it.

The only thing that's different in Canada, it's available on Cineplex, but we're talking YouTube, Google, I think Amazon on here as well.

It's available wherever you would rent a film.

And I don't know, I think it's worth the rental.

Yeah, I'll say, yeah, worth whatever you pay for this one.

I know for sure it'll probably be in your top 10, but it could definitely end up in mine.

Well, that's good to know.

It's good that you're finally getting some better taste in films.

Must be now that you're engaged.

Scott and I, this is also the first show where Scott unfortunately has had some technical issues this week.

He's had a bamboozle of a week.

And I can't see him.

Yeah, I can't see him.

So we've never recorded, like this is like Love is Blind, only his podcasting is blind.

And I can't see his reaction.

So he could be like giving me the finger the entire time.

I'm doing it right now.

I'd serve it though.

And I'm really looking forward to hearing thoughts, Scott's thoughts on this one when he gets around to it.

So the next one we're going to talk about is the first omen.

This is a hundred and nineteen minute runtime.

Yeah, back your patience.

It's a long one.

Create something to fear.

When a young American woman is sent to Rome to begin a life of service to the church, she encounters a darkness that causes her to question her own faith and uncovers a terrifying conspiracy that hopes to bring about the birth of evil incarnate.

Now, we all, you know, anyone who's seen the omen can kind of guess what's going to happen at the end.

And I think prequels like this are hard to do for that reason.

Like, you know, what's going to happen.

Like, you know, at the end, Damien's going to exist, right?

We all know Damien's going to be there because that's why you have...

How many sequels of the omen are there, like four?

Yeah, I think there's four and then a remake.

Right.

And a remake.

So we know he shows up.

So already, you know, when you're coming into a film like this, it's already a spoiler.

You know what I mean?

Like, you're going, right?

You know what's going to happen, but you're watching it to see how does it happen, right?

So it's a very interesting story.

They do take a different route slightly that maybe traditionalists might have a problem with.

We have some pretty big names in this.

Bill Nye is probably one of the biggest names that you'll see.

He is in this film, right?

And he plays it very serious.

So I know I have my friend Mark is a big fan of his and laughs and laughed when he came on the screen, to which I gave him a very dirty look in the movie theater because I'm like, this isn't a comedy.

There's nothing about this scene that is funny.

No part of this is funny at all.

I found it enjoyable.

I preferred the approach they took to this.

I thought it was filmed well.

I thought the character development was good.

I thought the storyline of how Damien came to be made a lot of sense.

This is, though, religious pregnancy horror, right?

This is going to fall into that pregnant nun territory, which we tend to be seeing more and more of, which is I don't know why the inspiration for this movie came, is because they were like, oh, shit, there's a lot of pregnant nuns in religion and shit.

Let's do that.

Yeah, I am kind of curious on how.

So it is where Immaculate was more...

It's not like Immaculate, I'll tell you that much.

This is more based in faith, the belief that Satan and the devil or Satan is real, and that forces exist beyond our control.

So this is very, very, very heavily faithed.

A lot of people have at least enjoyed it.

Dave Bailey has given it three stars.

Duncan Malish has given it three stars.

I would probably sit around three and a half stars, too.

I think it's pretty good.

I enjoyed it for what it was.

I don't think it will be on my...

anywhere near my top 10 or top 20, to be honest with you, but I don't think it's a bad film.

I do think for a theatrical release, it's worth it.

I just...

Pregnancy and horror just don't do it for me.

And it's hard when I know what the outcome is going to be.

For me personally, I'm like, well, I know what's going to happen, no matter what I know what's going to happen.

Right?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts when you see it.

Yeah, I'll say, and I look forward to it, because I know Erika is a huge fan of the Omen series, so I think she will...

I know she is excited to see this, but we shall see, because our track record with movies that we've both been excited about by watching trailers has not been the best, so to say.

Yeah, I wouldn't say be too excited.

Go in with average expectations.

Go in with, we'll see how this goes, it's pregnancy, religious horror.

So there's going to be lots of tropes.

Right, okay, good to know.

Right, and a lot of jump scares.

And this is still only in theaters at the moment, or it's not available yet.

Yeah, there's nowhere to rent or anything yet.

So I guess we're waiting.

So stay tuned.

It will eventually be available on VOD.

I don't think this is going to go to Shudder or anything like that, typically.

Well, unless it's something like Late Night with the Devil, and it has a short theatrical run, it will go to Shudder.

But I can't see this going to Shudder.

So I have a feeling it will just be on demand to write.

So if it's something that sounds like you would like it for all our listeners out there, then check it out.

If Pregnancy Nun Horror is not for you, and you don't really want to watch it because you know what the outcome is going to be, then skip it.

You know, I don't think it's going to ruin your life.

But if it sounds like something that's good for you, check it out.

You haven't seen the next one.

I slipped this in here.

Yeah, this is one I was trying to get to this weekend, but just did not get a chance to.

So this was a French film, and we all know how French do it.

Infested.

This is a 106 minute runtime.

Residents of a run-down French apartment building battle against an army of deadly, rapidly reproducing spiders.

So first off, let me say that there's, there's Paris, and then there's outside of Paris.

And outside of Paris looks just like this.

Like any big city does, you have your areas, areas of poverty.

And as I was on the train coming back from the Charles de Gont Airport, which is about a 50 minute non-express, 20 minute express, I could see the apartment buildings and areas that looked very similar to this.

So yes, very much this is a representation of poor parts of the country.

So I will give them credit for that because I think that's important to acknowledge that sometimes we see things, especially if we're on other countries and we're like, oh, does it really look like that?

Yeah, like it does.

This is definitely a representation of a marginalized area.

So this is a really interesting film.

What you see is what you get here.

It's about fucking spiders, fucking shit up.

There's another spider movie that we'll get to.

I actually prefer this one.

I think this one took itself more seriously and was darker, to be honest.

I thought the special effects in this one were more reasonable because it focuses more in reality.

So basically, a deadly species is introduced at a pet store, and this guy brings it home, not knowing what he brought into the house, which could happen.

That to me could happen.

Now, would it multiply to the extent that it does in this movie?

Probably not, but I thought it was really well done.

It moves quick.

What you see is what you get here.

It's basically spiders fucking people up for whatever period of time.

It's subtitled only, so you are having to watch it to pay attention.

And there is a lot of references to, I want to say, France subculture.

So there's certain things that went over my head.

But obviously, if you were in France watching this, I think you would get it a little bit more.

Kind of like same thing with us.

You know what this is going to happen, though?

This is going to become an American remake if it really picks off.

Like if this was released in theaters, like kind of how we have the remake of the good Danish movie that came out.

Oh, God, yeah.

Yeah, like now, have you seen the preview for that?

It made me mad.

Yeah, it's the exact same thing.

I'm so angry because I'm like, this is going to be a piece of shit compared to the fucking original.

Oh, like it's just anyway.

So and I shouldn't always feel that way.

Sometimes remakes are good, but I just feel like they're sort of it's like remaking Train to Busan.

I really don't think you can give a justified remake to Train to Busan.

And they're doing it.

I know.

So I recommend this on Shudder.

I think it's one of the better releases on Shudder.

I think it's simple.

You get what you get.

It's in and out, but it's good.

It's entertaining.

It's quick.

And I think the spiders are creepy.

And I think what happens is fucking emotional.

So Tim Davis has given it three stars.

Did you read his review?

I was just gonna say I pulled up as a review in case you didn't.

If you want to read it, go ahead.

So Tim Davis gave it a three and a half stars.

He goes, this is just a normal day in Australia, which is fucking accurate.

Hilarious, right?

I know Matt Wood.

Matt Wood enjoyed this as well.

So he said, enjoyed this French spider movie.

Decent characters that you can get behind.

I agree.

Decent setup.

The spiders look good.

Absolutely.

Plenty of tension throughout.

Full of spider-based potholes, but we can let those go.

Fucking potholes.

You and Matt Wood and Erika.

Holy shit.

It's a movie about deadly spiders that overtake an apartment building.

None of this can happen in real life to that extent, you silly, silly people.

Well, when it's taken seriously, that's where I can poke holes in it.

But we'll talk about the other spider movie later and how I kind of ignore potholes in that.

Well, Matt, yeah.

I think that one's a little more silly.

This one definitely, I think, is more serious.

So if you got Shudder, I suggest watching it.

I think it's worth it.

I don't see anything here below a three and a half star rating.

I see lots of fours, so that tells me that it's good.

You know, three and a half and above, it's worth your time.

I don't think this will be on my top ten, but I think if we did a creature award, creature feature award or something like that, or nature is scary or something like that, this would definitely be on there for me.

I think it was really, really well done.

So anyone who has a Shuddy or AMC+, check it out.

All right, yeah, because this is one, like I said, I wanted to watch this weekend, just did not get around to it.

Watch it, Erica.

Like you two should watch it at some point together.

Yeah, I'm kind of curious.

Yeah, I say I'm kind of curious to see, like, if she has different opinions about that one compared to the other one.

But yeah, we'll jump into the next one for right now, and that is Something in the Water, a 86-minute runtime with the synopsis of fear finds new depths.

Reunited at an exotic destination wedding, five girlfriends decide to rent a boat to spend a day together along the paradise-like coast.

Their friendship is put to the ultimate test when they find themselves stranded in open water, fighting for their lives against sharks and Mother Nature as they desperately try to survive.

Oh, for fuck's sake!

Yeah, I made my friend Mark watch this one.

Good God, this...

So, have you watched a shark movie in the last five years?

Then you've seen this fucking movie.

Starts off with main character having some sort of trauma.

Main character, after trauma, heals, meets up with friends, does stupid thing and gets stuck on an island or stuck in the water.

Barely any sharks, but there's a shark, but you barely see the shark.

People are stupid.

They die.

The end.

I'm still confused what happened to one character.

The one in the life jacket?

Yes.

Like, I don't get that.

Did they just take off their life jacket and put it on somebody else and then just let them?

But why were they dying?

I think it's because the spoiler alert for anybody that wants to watch this movie, buddy.

I think we're watching pretty we're talking pretty cryptic.

Yeah, but I'll say this character was getting exhausted from swimming.

So since she was the swimmer, the one that couldn't swim, put life jacket on her to save her.

OK, but oh, oh, so you think she just let herself drown?

Yes, because she wanted to like save the other one.

But yeah, this this was dumb.

This I didn't like any of the characters.

And it was so beat for beat like every shark movie in the last five to ten years.

It's ridiculous.

Yeah, I probably didn't hate it as much as you, because this was a casual like before we were going out drinking on Saturday.

We watched this to just like kill some time in the afternoon, right?

It was simple.

You know, it was I kind of tuned into it being like this is going to be simple.

Did I think it was a great shark movie?

No.

Was there so many plot holes that it hurt?

Yes.

Did I feel bad for them?

I guess I was kind of invested at the beginning.

And then as time went on, I was like, now this is getting more and more dumb.

Like, why has no one gone out to look for them yet?

Like, they were supposed to be back for an event.

A very serious event.

And was supposed to be back even before that event, like had plans at like four o'clock in the afternoon, six o'clock in the afternoon.

And this place they went to wasn't too far from the place that they were at to begin with.

I don't know how Coast Guard or Rescue was not sent out, because it seems like they were out there for three or four days.

Like that was the vibe I got, right?

Yeah, that's exactly how I felt, too.

And it just, there's, yeah.

Don't waste your time, people.

Yeah, it was great for my numbing stupidness.

Like I was, but I wouldn't be like, oh, yeah, you got to go out and watch it.

I think Tim said it perfectly.

Like, who runs a boat when they're all hung over?

I'm like, that's a valid point, right?

But I feel like they saw like 47 meters down, and then the sequel, which has to do with young ladies that go cave diving, and thought they would do something but only a little bit different, but not as well.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, exactly.

Tim gave it one and a half stars.

Did you see it?

Sorry, go ahead.

I'll let you finish.

I was like, yeah, this movie annoyed me.

And yeah, I'm completely 100% with Tim on this one, because I'm looking at his review as well.

So another cliché, predictable shark film, but I said the same thing you did, identical story about a group of friends who start the film by partying.

Then one of the friends thinks it'd be a great idea to go out on a boat.

Yeah, honestly, that wasn't even my butt beef with it.

I didn't care about that part.

I was into it.

I'm like, yeah, yeah, sure.

Bunch of chicks get drunk.

Whatever.

Next day, they want to go on a boat.

Sure.

All right, something happens.

And they got to get back.

Okay.

Sure.

Okay.

There's something else happens.

Okay.

Sure.

And then it just got weird.

Like the way that they handled the whole situation and like no one had fresh water for like four days, but yet no one died.

I don't know.

There was just certain things like I just I don't know.

See?

See you found potholes.

Potholes Heather, right there.

Yeah, I guess.

Yeah.

But like, I'm not a negative Nellie hating it like you guys are.

I'm just like, man, you know why?

Because I've been hurt so many times, Scott, that I just...

Because you're gaslit.

We know this.

Gaslit by 2024.

So, as you can see, we all have raving reviews of this film.

So I don't know, unless you like, I don't know, really enjoy looking at Ocean and...

And occasional shark fin and maybe like a quick glimpse of a shark.

Good looking ladies.

Like they were attractive.

All of them.

I don't know.

Like if you're into that for like watching people in their bathing suits for a couple of minutes, I guess you could watch this film.

It's available on Apple TV.

Oh, Dave Bailey.

No, you don't want to watch this fucking shit.

We just saved you a whole bunch of time.

You don't do it.

Hey, no, Dave.

No, go watch Skinny Meringue again or something else.

Um, who was the other one?

He liked that for one and yeah, go watch that again in your flowers, Dave.

All right.

So, so, and Matt would don't watch it.

No, Matt.

Bad, Matt.

Don't watch it.

Not bad.

No, you know, he's going to now because you told him now, I know he's like, he's gonna make my number one film of the year, Heather.

It's on Apple TV, Google Play, Voodoo, YouTube and Amazon.

But I don't know, it's kind of I don't really recommend it.

But if you really want to rent it, I'm sure you find it there for like 1099.

So he's the shittiest movies that have the highest rental price.

So I'm just here is my here is my quick sentence for you for my review.

Dumb movie is dumb.

Avoid dumb movie is dumb.

Have you ever noticed that some of the most expensive movies are the shittiest?

I think that's how it always goes, right?

I think it's because they are so shitty, they can't get picked up by like any streaming service.

Or it's because they have like more money than they know what to do with, and they actually don't use it properly.

Yeah, this definitely had some money to it, this one.

Yeah, well, there you go.

You can't win them all, can you, Scotty?

Oh, you sure as hell can't.

So, I watched this one a long time ago, before I went away, and I was away for two weeks, and I've been back for two weeks.

Yeah, I don't even remember what you said about this one, so I'm kind of curious.

Yeah, yeah.

Luckily, it's all coming back to me now.

When I watch the movie like this, when there's plot holes like that.

Anyway, The Cuckoo's Curse.

This is a 99-minute runtime, and its tagline is, be careful who enters your nest.

Sorry.

Oh, boy.

That's a dumb tagline.

Two couples, Marc and Anne from Spain, and Hans and Olga from Germany.

Can we talk about more fucking traditional names?

Wow, stereotypical names right there.

From Germany, swap their homes for a vacation.

This is pregnancy horror again.

I'm just going to let everybody know this has to do with pregnancy horror.

And the lengths you will go to have a child of your own.

I can see where this is going.

With Swappie Swappie Air BnB Horror.

Hmm.

It's like, sorry, go ahead.

This sounds like a winner.

So remember that movie, Holiday, where Cameron Diaz and I don't know that other chicks swap places for a holiday.

It was like this romantic comedy that came out years ago.

And I remember thinking how stupid it was.

Well, they've done the same thing, only made it a horror movie with a pregnant person.

Oh, boy.

Yeah, it's like the same thing.

So it has a really popular rating, though, mind you, no one else has watched it but me.

I will say it was well made.

Okay, I will say it's a well made, well constructed film.

And for some people, this may do it for them.

Like they build tension, they build suspense.

It's not a poorly made film.

It's just I found the concept annoying.

And maybe that was more my own personal preference.

Like I didn't love it.

Like I can remember scenes of it that were shocking.

And the end, the third act was quite intense.

But you knew what was going to happen the entire time because we've seen this before, right?

Like, and it's just another, I want a baby, she has a baby.

Like I know I'm giving a lot away, but I don't feel like many people are going to watch it because it's literally available on one streaming service, which is called VIK.

I'm sorry, V-I-X.

I don't even know what that is.

It's part of the United States.

Yeah, I've never even heard of that.

Right.

So I watched the screener, obviously.

So I don't know if it's going to be dropped anywhere else.

I know Rob Humphrey's probably like, it's my number one film of the year.

Well, Rob.

Well, you better check to make sure it's even 2024.

Oh, no, it's 2023.

So he'd be like, 2023.

And it only played in one movie theater in Spain.

So that makes it a 2023.

That's Rob.

Rob's on the show right now, everybody.

I didn't know you were here.

My name's Rob.

I don't like final destination.

I don't like anything that brings joy, though I do love that he loves shape out of water.

Like, who would have thought that?

Who would have thought such angry little man would love shape of water?

Sorry, shape of water.

I've never even seen it.

Have you?

Oh, it's a beautiful movie.

Oh, did it make you cry?

No, I mean, like, just it's the way it's shot, and everything is gorgeous.

And it's well done.

It's Guillermo del Toro.

So, I mean, it's really good movie.

Is it like a horror movie?

We would count it as romantic horror, just because of like, it's, you know, unlike Tim Davis, who screams to the top of his lungs, it's not a horror film.

It's a love story about the creature from the Black Lagoon.

It's only horror movie nerds would watch it.

True.

And that's why I haven't watched it, because I'm a premium podcaster, and that's below me.

I watch good movies like The Cuckoo's Curse.

Oh, you just signed your death warrant with Rob.

I know.

He's like, and isn't he coming to your wedding?

I don't know.

I invited him, but I don't know if he accepted or not yet, or even seen it.

See you there, Rob.

See you there.

Here's your chance, Rob, to get all that revenge that you've been holding in.

Come to Scott's wedding.

Get revenge.

Oh, then we can make like a wedding horror film.

That's never been done before, right, Scott?

No, not at all.

Never.

Super original.

We didn't even cover a wedding theme at all in this show.

No, never.

Honestly, if we were still doing themes, I'd be like, let's do pregnancy horror in churches, pregnancy horror with couples.

Like, honestly, there's so much pregnancy horror now.

Every time I turn on a movie and I'm like, of course, there could be characters pregnant.

Right.

Here we fucking go.

And like when Swallow came out, I was like, fuck yeah, this is unique.

This is cool.

I really dig this.

And now everyone's just jumping on the knocked up bandwagon.

How it usually goes, though.

Right, right.

Anyway, Cuckoo's Next is on this weird channel called VIX.

I don't even know how to say that.

VAC?

So if you're interested, it's there.

So go check it out if you want to watch Airbnb swapping with pregnant people gone bad.

That's the way I can explain it.

So thrilling.

Oh, wait, you haven't seen this one either, have you?

No, I don't even know what this one is.

Oh, this was a Tooby film, Scotty.

Oh, okay.

This is one that, okay.

I forgot the title.

I'm disappointed in you.

Well, to be fair, I haven't scoured the depths of Tooby in a little while.

Okay, I'll let this pass this one time.

But I'll jump right into it.

So this never happened, just like this conversation.

I wish the next movie never happened.

I wish the most of 2024 never happened.

We're just talking about stuff that we wish never happened.

This is a 90-minute runtime.

While staying at her boyfriend's childhood home with him and his friends, a young woman experienced terrifying versions of a violent spirit.

First of all, everyone in this movie is a fucking supermodel.

So if you're looking for the fittest, the most good-looking young people you could ever find, this is the movie for you because they definitely look like they showed up from GQ, you know what I mean, in Cosmopolitan, and they're like, all right, we're here for the movie shoot.

There's only one person that's watched this, who is it Tim Walker, who's given it two stars.

I think that's pretty fair.

So this is a story about a woman who can see the dead, Sixth Sense style, and she goes with her boyfriend to this house to see his friends because somebody's died and they're there at his childhood home to go to someone else's funeral.

And then he has all his friends over for a party and things start to happen.

Oh, boy.

Hmm.

So this is like a group of friends did something they shouldn't have done many years ago.

Revenge them.

Okay, I will say the third act was good.

I really did enjoy it.

It did pick up.

It caught my attention.

But the first two acts were grueling to get through.

They were generally speaking quite boring.

A lot of unnecessary talking, a lot of unnecessary plot, like what they thought was plot development, but it was just stupid interactions with people.

I would say the third act is where things really ramped up.

And it got better, but it's a Tubi watch.

You know, if you're bored and you're looking for something to kind of throw on, and you like the whole kind of, you know, 1990s group of friends do something bad and then have to pay for it down the road, you may like this film.

And it's available for free on Tubi.

I don't recommend renting it anywhere else.

Let's see, is it available for rent?

No, it's just available on Tubi.

So if you're looking for something to watch on Tubi, it is entertaining enough, but I would probably sit it at two and a half to three stars.

Actually, no, two and a half stars.

Like, it's just a basic plot device, but sometimes that's all you want, you know?

Sometimes you just like put on basic comfort.

I know what you did last summer, but not.

But the same kind of premise of people doing something and then secrets being unrevealed or revealed.

Yeah, because this one may just be something I can throw on at work when I'm just bored.

It absolutely could.

So if you need to add it to your account, you can go and do that.

I will, because boy, my count is not that great right now.

I just hit 50 movies yesterday.

Oh, not me.

I'm at, hold on.

You're at like 70, probably.

72.

Yep, do it.

Well, I am a premium podcaster and very, very professional.

I fuck up movie titles.

I'm so professional.

I don't even know what shit is anymore.

And me, I am a premium podcaster because I only watch quality.

Absolutely.

Why don't you get to the next one?

Yep, like this next film.

All right, so the next film is Bloodline Killer.

Thankfully, only a 90 minute runtime.

Synopsis is Moira Cole endeavors to rebuild her shattered life after her family's murder at the hands of her deranged and obsessed cousin.

So yeah, I watched this the week you were gone.

I don't remember a goddamn thing about this movie.

Not a single flipping thing to the point where, yep, this literally is just a two and a half star.

It is very forgettable.

I can't tell you about the kills.

I can't even tell you about the acting.

I literally don't remember anything about this.

Well, I can because I didn't listen to Scott and I watched it.

I forgot that he told me not to watch it.

And I put it on and I messaged and said, Oh my God, I'm watching this horrible fucking movie, Bloodline Killer.

He's like, Yeah, I told you about it.

You shouldn't like I told he wasn't good.

I'm like, Oh yeah, it's not.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, here I am now almost and these two brothers made it.

So these two brothers make it and basically so basically how it starts is their dad is killed Halloween night.

Their dad loves Halloween.

He dresses up as a vampire.

Ah, yep.

Some guy in a skull mask shows up and slits his dad's throat and the mom comes out and shoots the skull mask guy, but doesn't kill him because and I'm giving spoilers here because we don't recommend anybody watch this and the skull guy's sister finds him.

She happens to be a nurse that takes him to the hospital in the in the morgue.

Leaves him in the morgue for a year and nurses him back to health.

That's right.

That's the plotline of the story and the one brother can't get past the fact that his dad died and the other brother, who I assume are the two brothers that made this film, probably right, is trying to move on and the mother is the most overactor that I've ever seen before in my life.

Like she was she's been in all the Saw movies and I think she played Amanda in the Saw films.

Yes.

Oh, yes.

Yes, she did.

And I am not a fan of that character in the Saw films.

I'm already a very middle of the road Saw fan and I'm not a big fan of her.

So I found her as equally annoying and over the top in this film.

This is low budget, not done well.

It drags.

It's boring.

I had little to no empathy for anybody except for the dad that gets killed in the first five minutes.

And then after that, I really didn't care what happened to the rest of the characters.

Yeah, I found all over actors annoying.

Hey, man, you had the courage to put out a film.

You got some pretty well-known people in this that are recognizable, but fuck, it was a grind.

So bad that Scott doesn't remember it.

And I only really cared about the first 10 minutes.

So that tells you it's probably not the best movie.

And of course, it's only about it for rights.

So sorry.

Go ahead.

I was saying, as you're talking about it, it is ringing a bell with me more.

And I'm like, OK, yep, I remember that.

And I remember Shawnee Smith.

And I like Shawnee Smith.

Like she's usually pretty decent.

But yeah, this was, you know, just now.

Right.

It was just not good.

And of course, it's only available for rent, of course.

Another dumb movie is dumb.

Avoid.

Yeah, we don't recommend.

But I don't know.

Like there was somebody here that wrote a far star review.

They must know who the fucking like they must be friends with the director.

Yeah, a true classic horror film.

The cast and the storyline, the camera shots just worked to create a scary horror movie.

No.

Uh huh.

And who knew Tyrese was so good as a badass detective?

Oh, yeah.

Tyrese is in this film as well.

Everybody is.

Yeah.

He pushed the skeleton to the creepy level.

The killer was close to Michael Myers type.

Oh, man.

You better hope no fucking Halloween fans read that shit.

You are going to be living in your own horror movie, my friend.

Halloween fanboys are going to find you and girls and people.

Halloween fan people.

The mom makes you question what's wrong with her.

What a cousin with a cousin wacky like Sam, you don't need enemies.

She's not.

Watch this.

Definitely.

This is someone who is friends with the people that made this film.

There is no way that this is a fair review.

You know, and I get it.

You want to promote your friend's film.

My friend worked on this half star.

That's really funny.

Actually, most of the reviews are a half star, one star, two stars, half star.

I will be kind and I will give it a two star because I think it takes a lot of effort to make a movie.

I understood the plot.

I could kind of follow along to what was going on, but it just didn't deliver for me.

So I went and I wouldn't go on the letterbox and berate it.

But I just would say, unless you're someone who really likes watching indie horror and likes to learn from other people's filming, this probably isn't a film for you.

Yeah, because I was going to say, that's why I gave it a two and a half star, because it was just so middle of the road.

I forgot.

Like, I forgot everything about it.

It wasn't offensive to where I remembered anything about it.

So that's why it's just two and a half.

It's just right in the middle in the forget pile.

In the forget pile.

Yeah.

But this next one you saw.

Yeah.

So the next one.

Did you watch it too?

I sure did.

All right.

So yeah, the next one is Founder's Day.

It's got a hundred and seven minute runtime.

And it says, the tagline is, Changes here.

A small town is shaken by a series of ominous killings in the days leading up to a heated mayoral election.

This is your basic slashy, slashy, stabby, stabby slasher film.

I had fun with this.

I didn't think it was like absolutely incredible, but this was, you know, kind of gave me 90s slasher vibes along the lines, like I know what you did last summer, Scream, stuff like that, where it's just fun and easy to watch.

And I can't remember if the kills were on screen or not at this point, but I remember there being a decent amount of blood.

Somewhere, somewhere, yes.

The movie theater was.

But yeah, I found this just to be quite enjoyable, though I did see the partial twist coming.

Yes, yes.

I thought it was kind of obvious at the beginning, right?

But yeah, it was just fun.

I thought it was fun, too.

And you know, I think your analogy back to it being like a 90s slasher is perfect here.

Like if this came out in the 90s, we would be like, ah, it's like the realms of Cherry Falls.

You know, like how Cherry Falls came out and like it's kind of talked about by horror fans.

But I would say if you ask the average person, name a slasher from the 90s, they wouldn't say Cherry Falls, right?

Or like 2000s, I can't remember when that came out.

90s or early 2000s, bottom line is you wouldn't say Cherry Falls.

Or there's some other slashers that came out during that time that like horror fans may mention.

But like most people would be like, oh, I know what you did last summer, or I know what you did last summer still, or whatever, I still know what you did last summer, Scream or stuff like that.

People would probably remember more than they're going to remember other films.

This is like that.

This is another one that I don't know how to say this.

It's like the B version of Thanksgiving.

Yeah, right.

So it's it was entertaining, though.

I agree with you.

And I was invested in some of the characters.

And to be honest, I was upset when some of the characters got knocked off really early on.

There were a couple of characters that got killed that I was like, Oh, I thought you were a main character.

Yep.

I guess you're not.

I guess it actually had like a decent, likeable cast of characters.

Right.

And I thought there was some good red herrings in this.

I found it enjoyable.

I thought I don't think it overstayed its welcome.

Overall, I would say an enjoyable slasher.

I agree with your three and a half star rating.

I thought it was okay.

I thought it was steady.

It was good.

Would I watch it again?

Yeah, probably.

If I'm just feeling nostalgic for a basic bare bones slasher that's entertaining enough, sure, why not?

I put it on.

I like teenage shit like this.

I like that, though.

I like when teenagers are in peril, and they're trying to figure it out.

I dig that shit.

It's my jam.

And I like the whole political angle of the mayor.

And the mayor and all that stuff, too.

Yeah, it was well done.

I think it's worth a rental.

I don't think it's a $10.99 rental, but I could see $5.99, $4.99 if slashers are your thing.

Check it out.

I completely agree.

Definitely worth a rental.

And it's on all of the rental sites, like Apple, Google, Voodoo, YouTube, Microsoft Store.

If you're interested in renting, it's everywhere.

And if what we said sounds like it's appealing to you, watch it.

If you're watching it just to be like, oh, I only want to watch ones that will be on my top 20, I don't know if this will be on your top 20, but I do think it's enjoyable.

Yeah.

And yes, I think the next one is you.

Oh, yes, this one.

This one, this one definitely, this one tricked me.

It was a trickster.

Uh-oh.

Yeah.

Tricksy little hobbit.

So this is called Possessions.

It's a 90-minute runtime.

And to give you an idea how bad this was, George came home to me watching the last half an hour, and he was sitting there watching it, and he was like, how much more of this movie's left?

I said, look, I can shut it off.

He's like, no, no, just finish it and put it out of his misery or something like that.

Like, um, so anyway, this movie follows a father who seeks a fresh start with his son after the loss of his wife.

He purchases a storage unit facility, sites unseen, but secrets buried among the metal doors become a parent's worst nightmare.

You can take a guess what this film is about.

The key word is possessions.

So one would assume someone is going to be possessed.

So it's a possession movie, and it's based in a storage unit.

And I will say the plot sounds really interesting.

Something we really haven't seen before, something that is quite creepy because there are these storage units, and you don't know what's inside of them, and anything could be stored, and who knows what could be unreleased.

The storage unit they're referring to in this is owned by a church that has been abandoned for obvious reasons.

There's bad things in the storage unit, but you don't see much.

And it's really kind of built on cutaway scenes, and kid acting weird, like riding his bike around in circles, and dad being confused, and a lot of like, something's gonna happen, and they cut away the scene, and they come back, and the person's dead.

There's a really dodgy psychologist in this one too.

We could also make this the year of dodgy, like things that would never happen in a therapy appointment, brought to you by 2024 horror films.

We could probably do that about how unrealistic these therapy sessions are.

Between imaginary and this film, we would have like many things that we could say that a child psychologist would never do.

I really thought it was going to be something much better than it actually was.

Again, out of all of our friends or podcasting people, I'm the only one that's watched it.

There's no other reviews.

I'm going to give it a 2, 2 stars.

I have a hard time recommending this one, unless you're Jason Grey.

And I say Jason Grey because Jason, I think, enjoys low budget films.

I think he can look at it from a different lens, and that's where his interest is.

But besides someone like that, I really don't think it's something that people should be running out to see.

Maybe Dave Bailey, I think Dave could sit through this and kind of give it a fair analysis too, because he also enjoys low budget films.

And I don't mean this at a dig of Matt Wood or Tim Davis or anyone like that, but I think everyone else would just be fucking bored to tears.

I think they'd be like, this is boring.

And I'd be like, yeah, it is fucking boring.

So unless you're watching it from different angles of a low budget film, how did they do this?

Then I think that's great.

But great concept should have been a short.

You know what?

Should have been a fucking short.

That's what we talked about in January.

This was a great concept.

It should have been a short film.

There's a lot of those films that should be paying attention to that.

If they had done this as a short, guaranteed they could have gone into some film festivals.

The director probably could have got some notice, and he probably could have built his resume or his CV or whatever.

But because this is such a drawn out film that's really not that good, I think it's going to be quite forgettable.

And yeah, I'm not even going to bother with this one.

No, oh god, no, no, no.

You'll be bored.

You'll be so bored.

You'll be like, what the fuck is happening?

Like, it's just not, again, should have been a short.

14 minutes would have been a great time frame for this film, or 20 minutes in an anthology.

Would have been great.

And then you know what?

Could have been built on later on, but it just did not hammer it home.

It was not a good movie.

Fair enough.

Yes, I will avoid that one.

But the next one is one that I definitely recommend to a lot of people.

So this is Abigail with a 109 minute runtime directed by the guys that did Ready or Not, and I believe Scream 5 and Scream 6, if I remember correctly.

I think so, yeah.

I think they're like Radio Silent is their group name.

Yeah, you're right.

You nailed all of them.

And they did VHS.

They had something in VHS, and they did Southbound.

Oh, okay, nice.

So the tagline to this one is, children can be such monsters.

After a group of would-be criminals kidnapped the 12-year-old ballerina daughter of a powerful underworld figure, all they have to do to collect a $50 million ransom is watch the girl overnight in an isolated mansion.

The captors start to dwindle one by one, and they discover to their mounting horror that they're locked inside with no normal little girl.

And holy shit, this movie was a ton of freaking fun.

It was super gory, had a lot of recognizable actors.

Dan Stevens is one of them.

And Katherine Newton, I recognized.

And Melissa Barrera from Scream 5 and 6 as well.

Yep, yep.

But I have to say, the little girl that played Abigail was so freaking good in this and so just fun and mean at the same time.

She was a standout, to be honest with you.

Oh, she absolutely was.

This movie flew by for me.

It's 109 minutes, but it flew by.

I had such a blast with this one.

I think this is top 10 material.

I'm going to say it right now.

I think this is one that I don't see people talking about as much.

I do see that it has been watched by some folks.

Duncan has watched it.

You have watched it.

Brandon Young has watched it, too.

I think still podcast.

Bailey has watched it, given it four stars.

Rob Humphrey.

So I guess someone has watched it.

Only gave it three stars, but that's pretty good for Rob.

A three star from Rob is like a five star from anybody else, right?

Right, exactly.

Frank, I am five on this.

I thought it was fucking awesome.

I thought it was great.

Great, great fucking movie.

I was a four, and it just went up to a four and a half recently on my second watch, because I had watched it the night that I had proposed to Erica, but we had so much going on, we weren't really giving it a lot of attention.

So I ended up rewatching it while I was at work the next couple days later.

And yeah, I fucking loved this movie.

It was so much fun.

And you know, if you didn't know the premise already kind of going into it, you yeah, like it's it's good.

And the gore in it and the blood in it.

And I kind of feel those are separate.

There was a lot of blood at times, which I thought was done really well.

I don't know.

This was a great film.

As you write, it moved.

It was paced well.

It was simple.

It was clear.

It wasn't overly complicated, and it did what it needed to do.

Yep, and I was going to say that it didn't take itself seriously, kind of like Ready or Not, where it didn't take itself full-on serious.

They had a little bit of comedy to it, because obviously some of these characters were just bumbling idiots, which has made it even more entertaining.

100%.

This must have been released in theaters, or I don't know why Shudder didn't pick this up.

I don't know.

Maybe they couldn't afford it.

This was in theaters.

Was it in theaters?

Okay.

So, it is now available on Amazon, Apple TV, Google, both Amazons, Canada and America, and Microsoft Store.

It's worth the rental.

Rent this movie.