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Podcast Host, Ray Sanders interviews Ariel Delgado as he walks listeners through Delgado's new book, The Wounded Child, A Real Life Story of Healing and Hope.
Podcast Host, Ray Sanders interviews Ariel Delgado as he walks listeners through Delgado's new book, The Wounded Child, A Real Life Story of Healing and Hope.
Each episode is hosted by Ray Sanders, an award-winning journalist with more than 30 years of experience in both print and broadcast media.
As a CEO, he has grown multi-million-dollar organizations, led an award-winning financial institution, served in a nonpartisan role with the United States Senate and pioneered international efforts to bring clean water to remote regions of the world.
Sanders is the founder of Coaching Leaders an executive coaching and business consulting firm that provides CEO’s with valuable input from a team of seasoned business leaders who have served at the highest level within successful multimillion-dollar organizations.
The Ray Sanders Leadership Podcast unpacks inspiring insights from inspiring people.
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How to overcome adversity.
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Hello, everyone. I'm Ray Sanders, and you're listening to the Ray Sanders Leadership Podcast. And today, I have a very special guest. I guess you could say all the way from Uruguay, but we know you're a local boy now, a US citizen, my friend, author, speaker, and coach, Ariel Delgado. Thanks for being on the show today, Ariel.
Ariel:Thank you, Ray, for having me. How's it going?
Ray:Man, it's not every day that I get to have, my my brother from another mother all the way down from
Ariel:South
Ray:America on the show. But I'll never forget the first time that you and I met. We were serving a client together, and I was doing some executive coaching, and you were doing some of your work with the rest of the team. And I thought that's a guy I wanna get to know, and we've had an opportunity to kinda grow our friendship. And one of the things that, I've often said about you when I introduce you to other people, as I said, I had no idea.
Ray:I had no idea about this guy. You're so easy to underestimate. You're just a good looking South American Latino, but, man, god has done some amazing things in your life. And who would have thought that this farm kid from a little farm community down in Uruguay would become an executive here in United States for a major national company, go through a lot in his life, and end up writing a book about his life. And that's why you're here on the show today to talk about
Ariel:it. Right. Thank you so much again for having me, and I agree with the second part that, God has done a lot of things on me. I don't know about the Latino, all that stuff, but we'll leave it up to God. You know?
Ariel:Yes. We're, really excited, Ray, about the book Mhmm. That is coming out. So, October. So the book is man, I think it's it's gonna it's impactful.
Ray:Well, let's not waste any time. Let's jump right in into this. I mean, I think a lot of people would like to know what is the mission of the book, why did you decide to write the book. It's not easy writing a book. It takes time.
Ray:And, I'm sure that for you, unpacking a lot of what you put in this book, I mean, it's now in black and white. It's in writing, and it's taken you several years to even get to the point that you would talk about this publicly Right. Let alone put it in a book for your daughters. You now have 3 daughters Mhmm. For them to see.
Ray:And the things that are in this book, folks, I'm just gonna tell you right now, this could be a Hollywood thriller, a blockbuster, but it's not all good. I mean, there's a lot of good that's come out of it.
Ariel:Right.
Ray:But your story, man, it is it's crazy. So start us off, tell us why did you decide to write this book, what's the mission of the book, and then let's let's talk about it.
Ariel:Thank you again, Ray. At the first time, the I believe it was from God. I heard this voice. You have to write a book. It was when I was flying from Bogota, Colombia to Oklahoma about 2 years ago.
Ariel:We finished we just finished 14 workshops with family ID, the ministry that I work for, and I was coming back home with a heavy heart. Every time that I do a workshop with family ID, I share my testimony. And specifically during this trip, I had a lot of families approach me after the workshop asking me for help. Because like you said, on the book, I'm not holding back. And the families are approaching me and asking me, what do I do?
Ariel:I'm about to get divorced. I'm addicted to porn. I'm a you know, a lot of struggles. So I was coming back home with a heavy heart, and I was praying to god. I was like, god, what do I do?
Ariel:How can I help him? And that's the first thing first time that I heard from god, you have to write a book. Honestly, I I just didn't even pay attention to it. And let me tell you why. I did only 6 years of school my whole life because I started working when I was 9, and then when I did, my first year 6 years of school, I stopped and, started working with my dad.
Ariel:That's what needed to be done at the time. And so that's the first thing that came to my mind, and I think it was the enemy trying to convince me. When God told me, write a book, I was like, no. I can't.
Ray:So so
Ariel:I left it alone. And then a month later, a friend came to me, and he goes, you have to write a book, Ariel. So that was I started, you know, taking it seriously. Now I started praying about it. And then I talked to the, publisher, and we started writing the book about 2 years ago.
Ray:So to put this in, the North American terms Mhmm. 6 years in school, would that be the equivalent of 6th grade?
Ariel:Is it the Yeah. Elementary.
Ray:So elementary.
Ariel:That's what I did.
Ray:Yeah. So you really felt like, hey, who am I to write a book?
Ariel:Right.
Ray:I've only been to 6th grade. Mhmm. My credentials don't set myself up for writing a book. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Ray:But you continue to be nagged about it, and then God brought other people into your life
Ariel:Right.
Ray:And they urged you. I'm gonna tell you, I don't know how you are, how old you are, on the cover of this book, folks. For some of you who are watching online, or maybe if you're just listening online. If you're watching online, you can see here that I'm holding up the cover of this book. I mean, this is a phenomenal cover.
Ray:Mhmm. The name of the book, by the way, The Wounded Child, A Real Life Story of Healing and Hope. Now this is you. Both of these pictures are you.
Ariel:Yes. They are. The first the one on the left is the first ID I had. I was crying literally on that on that on that day when I got my first ID. I was 4 years old.
Ray:Wow.
Ariel:And I saved the ID. I still have it. And when I showed it to the publisher, they goes, this is it. We're gonna use it for your cover. And and it was awesome.
Ariel:So yeah.
Ray:And that's the other thing that's neat about this book, folks. It's one thing to read a story, but Ariel has put other photos from his story in this book, and I think it makes it really even more authentic. Back to the mission, though. Mhmm. You felt like, really, you're called to do it, but you and your wife were talking about this book, and you kind of come up with a written formal mission statement for this book.
Ray:Do you remember what it is, or do you need to?
Ariel:Yeah. The wounded child will help you discover your emotional wounds first and then to find a healing path.
Ray:Okay.
Ariel:And, it was easy to write that down or, I guess, to come up with that because that's what happened to me. I didn't even know I was wounded from my childhood. And, if you know that you if you don't know that you're wounded, how are you gonna find a solution? How are you gonna heal? So I think the book is gonna help you, first, identify your wounds Mhmm.
Ariel:And then second, find a path for healing.
Ray:So many people I mean, as parents, we get this more and more, and we know that we're not perfect. And we sometimes wonder, are we messing up our kids? But so many of us, we bury those things that have happened to us. And your story is a testimony to this. Once you can discover that, you can then turn that pain into purpose.
Ray:Right. And that's exactly what you've done. Now this book, it's a it's a perfect type of book you can take on a plane with you. If you wanna go to the beach or you're going on vacation, it's it's about a 143, a 150 pages, somewhere in there. You've got 11 chapters.
Ray:So just kinda tell us the story. Walk us through the book as you as you see pleased. I may I may ask some questions along the way, but kinda give folks I know you don't wanna give them all of it, but, certainly, give us enough reason to think I have to know more.
Ariel:Okay. Well, like you said at the beginning, Ray, I've been in America for a while now, almost 20 years. I'm a citizen, and I can tell you that I accomplished the American dream. And I'm on my second journey for the American dream. I'll tell you in a second why, but, it wasn't always that way.
Ariel:Like I said, I grew up in a poor family. I started working when I was 9, quit going to school at 11, and, and I love my parents. And my my parents did the best they could with what they had. They didn't have any resources. So, you know, when I was 11, I remember the you know, going visiting bars with my dad, and my dad was a great man.
Ariel:And and I hope you guys understand that that I'm not I love my dad, and he taught me a lot of great things. But, unfortunately, alcohol got ahold of him, and then he was a different person. So but, you know, from an early age, I was just seeing my dad and his friends and and and other people at the bar talking about what it takes to be a man, and that's what I learned. That's what I modeled for over 20 years. In America, we will say that I was building my testimony.
Ariel:You know? So but, for me at the time, it was normal. I grew up in the rough environment. My mom was staying home, and my dad was just going out with me, and we were just doing what men do. Right?
Ariel:That's what I learned that what men to be a man, you have to be tough. You don't cry. You don't ask for help. You're not vulnerable, and you don't have anybody in your corner. You just do it alone, and that's what I learned throughout the years.
Ariel:And so I went through some difficult challenges that you're gonna find those on the book. I'm not holding back on the you know, with the book. So, 11, I I went through something that really changed my life. It changed the next 20 to 25 years of my life. And today, I know what happened to me when I was 11.
Ariel:I didn't wanna go through that, but today, I know that it was a good thing for me because because of that, I am the area that I am today. Mhmm. But like I said on the book, I talked about emotional wounds. I didn't even know that I was wounded until 36 years old. Imagine.
Ray:So what did your father do for a living?
Ariel:My father, he was a manager of a farm. My mom was a cook there, And let me tell you, the farm was the best 8 to 9 years of my life. Mhmm. Because we were at the time, we were happy. Everything on the farm was sustainable, chickens, cows, great beef, everything that you can imagine.
Ariel:It was awesome. And then when my dad lost the job at the farm, we lost the house. So we things started to getting getting worse a little bit. And my father started working for different people butchering animal. He was good with the knife.
Ariel:He was good butchering, you know, cows, pigs. And that's what we did. We did that together, and I learned that. And today, I love cooking. I love
Ray:Oh, yeah.
Ariel:All that because that's what my mom and my dad, you know, passed. So, but that's what my my father did. He worked in a farm on after my parents got divorced, he moved to a farm, and he died at the farm at age of 67.
Ray:So I know what the book's about. I know the story. You alluded to it. I don't know how much you would wanna go into it, but I think it's a critical thing, and it might connect with a lot of listeners, and I don't think you have to go into everything that's told in the book. But do you think it's appropriate, or how much of the story can you tell that when you were 11, that was something that's forever affected you?
Ariel:So when I was 11, I was abused sexually by another man. And, at the time, for sure, I didn't wanna go through that. I you're gonna find some not all the details, but some more details to understand the whole story. If you read the book, that I would I would hope that you do. But that really, I can trace the next 25 years after that sexual abuse.
Ariel:I can just connect that back to that incident. Everything I did from that day on, it was to cover that, to I feel gain, guilt, shame. I feel that I wasn't a man, but I just I just I just swept that umbrella.
Ray:You were a child, basically, 11 years old, and this was another man that took advantage. Mhmm. So many people that are listening who have lived through this, I think terms that I have heard are grooming, they befriend you, they make you feel a certain way, and the next thing you know something's happened and you're young, you don't know I I mean, I like this person. I love this person. I care for this person, but not in that way, not in a romantic way.
Ray:And you're like, something doesn't feel right about it. And once you come out on the other side of it, a lot of people bury it. They try to hide it, and that's really what you did for many many many years. But in some ways, you try to overcome that by proving that you were the macho man, and that you liked women, and you were gonna prove that you weren't that kind of a man that you were attracted to me. You were trying to prove it.
Ray:No. I'm I'm a I'm a red blooded Latino. I'm gonna I'm gonna be with the ladies. I'm gonna show my dad raised me to be a drinking, you know, hell raising kinda guy Right. And I'm gonna prove that I'm just the opposite of what this other person was.
Ray:So pick us up after that abuse. They can learn more about it in the book, but pick us up what happened. Where where did your life head?
Ariel:Well, I started, you know, I was drinking when I was 12, 13, and that was normal. And then things got worse by the age of 14, 15. I was drinking 3 or 4 times a week and going out to nightclubs and, yeah, having, you know, intimacy with the girls and not just lying, also lying about, you know, to take girls to bed, you know, lie. That was just, again, a normal lie for me. But I realized today what I did, Ray, is I was just medicating my wounds.
Ariel:I didn't even know. I knew there was something there, but I never talked about it. Because, again, in our culture, you don't talk about it.
Ray:I've heard people use the term self medicate, and in this day and age, I think a lot of people, you know, the traditional easy self medication vices would be, say, alcohol, certainly marijuana. You know, it's become more and more
Ariel:Right.
Ray:Prevalent. But now even prescription drugs but self medication can take all kinds of forms, and here you are really in your teenage years, trying to bury feelings in the ugly in your life with other things, and you kinda got to the point to where you realize that didn't work. So we fast forward a little bit, the latter part of your teens. Pick us up in that part of the story. I'm gonna I'm gonna take a peek at the book while you're talking and see where we're at in the story.
Ray:So go ahead.
Ariel:Yeah. Like I said, I I was dating, from a early age. Then at age 16, my parents got divorced, separated actually, and that really added more emotional wounds to my heart. I call it a backpack full of rocks. Oh.
Ariel:Rocks are to me are emotional wounds, and if you don't if you don't empty that backpack, man, that backpack will take you down. And that's what it did with me. Even though from the outside, you saw me and I was I was great, but I was not inside, I was broken. I was just there was not even one day I will go to bed and not feel gay guilt and shame for what happened to me and for what I what I did after. You know what I mean?
Ariel:So when my my parents got divorced, separated, that was just another punch that I was like, I can't recover from this. But, again, I went back to what I learned. What do you do to be a man? You don't talk. Just hide it.
Ray:Stuff it.
Ariel:That's it.
Ray:Put it in the backpack. Mhmm.
Ariel:Alright. That's what I did. So fast forward, at the age of 2023, I was building houses at the beach with the with my friend. We were doing well. The economy went down in 2002.
Ariel:And to give you a little bit of context, Uruguay has 3,000,000 people. Very small country. But we have Argentina to the south and Brazil to the north. Brazil is 300,000,000 or even more. Argentina is 45,000,000, so we're very small.
Ariel:Again, we depend a lot from them. So economy went down really bad in 2002. So I told the girl that I was dating at the time, I was like, I cannot stay here. I need to go somewhere if I wanna support my brothers and my my sister. I have a sister who just 9 months older than me.
Ariel:She's 9 months. And then I have 2 brothers, twin brothers. They were 10 years younger than me. So they were 7 to 8 years old, when my my father left. And then when I was 23, they were 13, so still little.
Ray:So you're the oldest male, not the oldest child. Right. And in your culture, the family's livelihood of dad's out of the picture Mhmm. Whether it be passed away or otherwise, you kind of take on this role.
Ariel:Take on the role. Yes.
Ray:And that's what you were doing.
Ariel:Yeah. Me and my sister and my mom too, but my my brothers until today, they see me as their dad. You know? Mhmm. So I feel responsible for my family.
Ariel:I was like, I need to support them. So age of 20 almost 24, the day the girl that I was dating at the time, she moved, to, Georgia, America.
Ray:Mhmm.
Ariel:And then she invite me. She goes, hey. Would you come with me? I was like, sure. I can follow you in about 6 months, and and that's what I I I wanted to do.
Ariel:But then 2 weeks prior to my trip, we broke up over the phone. She was here. I was over there. I didn't have any money. The only money I had, it was, the money for the ticket to go to Georgia with her.
Ariel:But we broke up. I was in trouble. You know? I was like, what do I do? So I remember that the day before the trip, my mom was doing a going away party, and I I just told her.
Ariel:I was like, I'm not leaving. I don't have any money. And to go into America with a visitor visa with no money, that doesn't you can't get in.
Ray:Right.
Ariel:So, I I remember I got up the day of my trip. I got up, Ray, and I was like, I cannot stay here. If I stay here, my my brother and my mom literally will not eat. They won't survive. So I call one of my friends, and he goes, Ariel, you can't stay here.
Ariel:He goes, I have $50. Come and get him and go. And that's what I did. I was, about an hour and a half from the airport. And, remember I called one of my close friends, and I was like, can you take me to the airport?
Ariel:And he goes, I thought you were not leaving. I was like, well, things have changed. So he didn't have brake on truck. So but he took me to the airport to the capital. It was a it was a nightmare to get to the airport, but we made it.
Ariel:So but when we got to the airport, I had a a big challenge. I didn't have a place to stay the next day because I broke up with my girlfriend. Couple of day prior to that, I changed my ticket to New York, but then I decided not to go. When I changed the ticket to New York, I was thinking, okay. I have a cousin that has a friend in New York.
Ariel:Maybe I can call them up. Again, it was just all crazy stuff.
Ray:This is crazy.
Ariel:So, I remember I got to the airport from a public phone. I called my cousin, which is he was in Uruguay, and I was like, can you help me? Can you call your friend in New York and see if he can help me out?
Ray:Where was the phone call placed from? Where were you at when you called you back?
Ariel:The yeah. Montevideo, the capital of Uruguay. I called my cousin, and I told him what was going on. And he goes, sure. I can help you with my friend.
Ariel:And he goes, give me just a couple of days. I was like, I don't have that. I'm landing in in, my hand tomorrow.
Ray:So let me pause you because I think people are gonna say, now what? This is so crazy. So bottom line is you had a girlfriend.
Ariel:Right.
Ray:She comes to United States. She wants to you to come with her.
Ariel:Mhmm.
Ray:Somewhere along the way, you guys don't make it, you break up, but you have a plane ticket
Ariel:Right.
Ray:But you have no money. And it doesn't set real well with customs when you pull into any part of the United States and don't have any money in your wallet. Mhmm. So you decide I'm gonna bail, but you know that at the same time, the pressure's mounting to take care of your family.
Ariel:That's correct.
Ray:And your family says, yeah. You need to go. Your friends encourage you to go so much so that a buddy gives you not 500, not 5,000, but $50.
Ariel:$50.
Ray:And that was enough to push you over the edge, but then you get in the truck with another brother or not a brother, but another friend, and he doesn't have brakes. And so you're skidding your way to the airport. You get to the airport, call your cousin, and say, hey. I've now changed my ticket, not to Georgia, but I'm going to New York. Mhmm.
Ray:And you got a friend there.
Ariel:Right.
Ray:And that's all you got. It's $50 and a hope and a prayer that your cousin's gonna call a friend somewhere in New York, and when you land, you're gonna hook up with him, and you still get on the plane.
Ariel:Yes. And I will take out the prayer because I wasn't a believer at the time. So I wasn't even praying. I didn't know how to pray, honestly. So yeah.
Ariel:So I called my cousin. He goes, hey. Give me a couple of days. I was like, I do not have that. I'm landing in Manhattan tomorrow morning.
Ariel:I do have a layover in Brazil, and then from Brazil, I go straight to New York. He goes, well, you crazy, but let me call my friend. So I left Uruguay. I boarded the plane in Uruguay not knowing what I was sleeping the next day. That's how desperate I was.
Ray:Wow.
Ariel:But I remember I got to Brazil on my layover, and, I called my cousin, 2 eyes, right before I got in the plane to go to my and I called my cousin again. I was like, hey. Have you talked to your friend? He goes, yes. I have.
Ariel:Here's the number. Called him up. So I called this this guy up in New York, and, he was also from Uruguay. He goes, hey. I know your story, but I can't come and get you.
Ariel:I'm I'm in Poughkeepsie, New York, 2 and a half hours from my hand. You're landing in 9 hours. I can't Go get you. You have to get here on your own.
Ray:He might as well told you he was in Iceland.
Ariel:Right. I was like, no idea. And You
Ray:don't speak English.
Ariel:That nothing. So so I was just but I was happy. I was happy, honestly.
Ray:You were smiling. Hey. If you're listening out there, if you see a smiling Latino, just just assume something good's happening Yeah. Really good.
Ariel:So yeah. So I I remember that I I landed the next day, man, and I went through custom. Man, it was it was I flew through it. The guy asked me how much money I had. I I lied to him, and, hopefully, I can find him one day to ask for forgiveness.
Ariel:No. I know God forgave me already. I told him that I had $500. Otherwise, I couldn't make it. So but I got out of the airport and I was the happiest man in life, I'll tell you.
Ariel:And I took a taxi. A guy from, happiest man in life, I'll tell you. And I took a taxi. A guy from, from Peru, there there was a taxi driver. He took me to Kennedy Airport to Grand Central train station.
Ariel:He charged me $45, Ray. Listen out there. $45. Back in 2002, that was a lot of money. I didn't even know.
Ray:So 50? Now you're down to $5.
Ariel:$5, but I'm on my hand. So, you know, so I walk into But
Ray:you don't have a ticket to get to
Ariel:I don't. I walk into the train station, and I I just thought about going to a police officer. Told him that I didn't speak English. So he took me to a police officer from Puerto Rico, which spoke Spanish. And they this police officer, I believe today, that was an angel.
Ariel:He took me to the ticket, to the ticket window, and he bought me the ticket, the train ticket from I think it was, like, $12, something like that. He took me to the train, to the door, and he told me it's 2 and a half hour. When you see the sign for Beacon, New York, get off and call your friend.
Ray:Oh, god.
Ariel:And that's how I got to New York.
Ray:Wow.
Ariel:So
Ray:So you walk off the train now.
Ariel:Mhmm.
Ray:And what next?
Ariel:I call this guy, Juan, and I didn't know the from back then from a public phone, you have to dial 1 to dial the number. I would just keep dialing the number and the number was incorrect until someone else came to the train station. They helped me out. So this guy, Juan, picked me up. He goes, hey.
Ariel:I have to go back to work, but let me drop you off on my house, take a shower, eat, and then we'll get to know each other later. And that's what happened. So the next day, I was working with Juan's sister as a dishwasher in Cold Spring, New York. And, the interesting thing is I came to New York with a little a little suitcase. Very little.
Ariel:I didn't have a lot of stuff. So, I started working at this, you know, 5 star restaurant and you need a uniform. So I remember Juan and Angela, the the 2 brothers, they took me to Walmart to buy me the the uniform because I didn't have enough clothes, you know, to to wear. So
Ray:People that didn't even know you Mhmm. Took you in Yeah. Fed you, gave you a place to sleep, and bought you clothes. And I and I've seen you still have that suitcase.
Ariel:I do. It's in the book.
Ray:It's in the book, I think. Yeah. Yeah. It is. And so the you still have that suitcase, and you came to America $50 down to 5.
Ray:A police officer helps you out, and now you're washing dishes. What next?
Ariel:I was happy. I was making $5 an hour washing dishes. And and let me tell you the what I what I've been doing in America since I arrived here is not hard work. Hard work, it was back home. Mixing concrete by hand, working out on the farm, long days, riding a bicycle for 10 kilometers, after working the whole day to get home and the cold weather, rain.
Ariel:That was tough. But working in America hasn't been tough, honestly. So washing dishes for me, it was like a piece of cake, and I'm not exaggerating. It was easy. So they saw something at the first restaurant that I work for.
Ariel:They saw something in me that I maybe I didn't even see. They were telling me that was awesome, and I was like, this is normal for me. You know? So I worked there for about 6 months, but I started working also at the same time. I was working on a car wash and also in a chocolate factory in Beacon, New York.
Ariel:So I had 3 jobs for a while. And, that's how I made I made some money. I remember my first check was $65. Right? And I sent it all to my mom Wow.
Ariel:Because it was rough, and I get emotional because it was, wow.
Ray:It's alright, bro.
Ariel:I didn't even mention that in the book, but my first check, it was about $65, and I sent it all to my mom because it was either that or they can Wow. Provide. You know? So but but it was I mean, I love America. I made a lot of good friends in New York, and, I think this is you can do whatever you want right here.
Ariel:If you speak the language and your immigration status is okay, you can do whatever you want.
Ray:That's great.
Ariel:Yeah. So So pick us up where you
Ray:want to in the book. Tell me what's next.
Ariel:So that's all that is in the book and a lot more.
Ray:Mhmm.
Ariel:So fast forward, I was, I have 2 beautiful daughters, Angelina. She's gonna be 14, and Juliana's 12. I'm sorry. 3. And then Gabby is 9.
Ariel:Mhmm. And you're gonna see a lot of that, the, you know, the that story on the book as well. But I went through I was married for about almost 11 years. But the interesting thing is, Ray, I never stopped the lifestyle living the lifestyle that I had back in Uruguay. Never stopped living the lifestyle.
Ariel:So during my my marriage, I continued that lifestyle. And imagine that didn't end up well. So I started working for Chipotle as a crew member when I moved to Colorado. And, Chipotle was the first company that believed in me. They told me how good I was, and they sent me to school.
Ariel:I did a lot of courses through Chipotle, and a few years later, I was running Oklahoma and Kansas. From Colorado, they moved me to Oklahoma to be an area manager. So, it was a American dream come true. I was making a lot of money. I had, you know, a couple properties, a boat, jet ski, everything that you can imagine.
Ariel:American dream. But I wasn't happy. I was a mess inside. But back in 2016, I I just I felt this desire, to be honest, for the first time because I was a good man. If you you know, from 30,000 feet, I guess I was a good man, but I was not being faithful to to the wife that I had at the time.
Ariel:I was doing some things that I wasn't supposed to. But, again, I'm not justifying that, But think about it. That's what I learned back home. That's what you do when you're a man.
Ray:Mhmm.
Ariel:Just that, you go out. You do your stuff, and I knew that was wrong. But, again, that's what I learned. And
Ray:You know, it's easy to think that you've left your past behind whenever you come to America on $50. You make your first 65, and I don't think you mind me sharing this because I know the story. You went from sending your mom $65 to making a very solid 6 figure income. A guy a kid from a farm from Uruguay who'd been molested, doing what he could to survive, making a really handsome 6 figure income, had the tiger by the tail, had a beautiful wife, beautiful family, and inside you know you're rotting, and you're covering it all up, and it's tearing you apart. You're wounded.
Ray:Yeah. And you don't know why, you don't know what to do, and you're living the high life. I mean, talk about being at the bottom all the way to the top, and then you just started to spiral.
Ariel:Yes. And, you know, February 2016, that is when I I I thought that I hit bottom, but that was that was, I guess, bottom, but there was another bottom after that. I didn't know that. But, so February, I decided to to be honest with everybody in in my circle, you know, and I, I just brought everything into the light. What I did, what I have done, everything, and that wasn't good.
Ariel:So, that night, I ended up in a mental hospital because I was done with my life. You know? I was done with my life. But so I got out of the hospital. I was there for a few days.
Ariel:I got out of the hospital, and I was a new man. And I wanted to do all these things that I guess I should have done before, but it was too late for some things. You know? And
Ray:Let let let me let me interrupt you there because I think I don't wanna glaze over this. When you say you hit bottom and when you went to the mental hospital, you were thinking about taking your life.
Ariel:Yes.
Ray:And you told me that it was very tough. You got there. They basically made you turn in everything. Mhmm. I think you told me they gave you everything except your underwear.
Ray:Right. And you're in the hospital, and you're thinking, I think I wanna get out of here, but then you tell the people in there that you're hearing voices. Mhmm. Right. And I'm not trying to make light of it, but it wasn't those kind of voices.
Ray:You you would say now you felt like the Lord was talking to you.
Ariel:Right.
Ray:Tell tell us that part of the story before we get past the hospital part.
Ariel:Sure. So February 6, 2016, I was I was just done. Excuse me. But also was tired. I was like, I can't do this by myself anymore.
Ariel:I can't. So I remember that it was about 10 o'clock, that night, and, I got off the bed the bed and I started screaming at god. And I didn't know I didn't believe in god. 1st, I was like, he's not real. My whole life, I believed that god was not real.
Ariel:And if he is, he doesn't care about me. So, that day, I got off the bed, and I started screaming at God, like, calling him names and asking, man, if you're real, show it to me. I don't know if I don't know if you're real or not, but show it to me. And at 10:30 PM, I I literally, I started hearing voices in a mental hospital, which is crazy. So but I know it was God talking to me.
Ariel:I heard I have a purpose for you. And I went to bed a little confused, but I got up, and I was a new man. I had a mess outside of the hospital, and I I was still in a mental hospital, but I see I saw the light for the first time. I I saw hope, and I wanted to read the bible. I wanted to ride.
Ariel:And, and now, like I said at the beginning of the story, the first time I thought that the first time I heard about the book, it was in that plane flying from Bogota to to Oklahoma, but it wasn't. Looking, searching through my stuff about 2 years ago, I found a notebook, that I wrote in that hospital. And in that hospital, I already started writing the book, and I never liked to write. Never did. So I started writing the book in that hospital.
Ariel:So God was already giving me that vision. He knew what was going to happen to me for the in the next few years and what was going to do with family ID. So the idea of the book, the vision of the book came out of a mental hospital. Crazy.
Ray:Wow. You you wrote your first parts in a mental hospital. So how long did you stay, and what was next after you got out?
Ariel:And where
Ray:did you go? What happened? I mean, this
Ariel:I stayed there for 5 days. And, when I got out, I went back home. But, again, I 5 days before that, I share everything with with my wife at the time, what I did, well, I was unfaithful to her. I did a lot of crazy things. You know?
Ariel:So she didn't take it well. So she asked me to leave the house after the hospital. Couple weeks after, I ended up moving out to an apartment here in Edmond, and, things, man, went downhill pretty quick because I was I was depressed.
Ray:You lost your job at Chipotle?
Ariel:I lost my job at Chipotle. I couldn't do it. I couldn't even lead myself. I couldn't even get out of bed. For sure, I wouldn't be able to lead 250 people.
Ariel:You know? So I left I quit my job. I got fired, actually, from Chipotle. I don't remember if it was on YouTube, but bottom line, I couldn't do it. I couldn't even get out of bed.
Ariel:Mhmm. So I went from making $200,000 to $40,000, now supporting 2 houses and facing a divorce. Mhmm. So finances went down very, very fast.
Ray:Right.
Ariel:So we lost everything we had. Fast forward. So I started going to Life. Church. My faith was going awesome.
Ariel:I got baptized 6 months after the hospital. You
Ray:found the Lord.
Ariel:I found the Lord, and and my my faith was going great, but I was still going through depression, and I didn't understand it.
Ray:That's a key point right there. A lot of people think, oh, you know, come to Jesus. You heard they come to gee, and everything just, oh, I won the lottery. Everything went great. Your life didn't your nose dive didn't, turn up for a while.
Ariel:Let me tell you. 6 months after, I got out of the hospital, I I remember I got baptized at Life Church on Sunday, and on Monday, I was served with divorce paperwork. And I remember I just got on my knees, and I was crying, crying to the Lord. I was like, god, really? This is what I get for following you.
Ariel:I just give you my heart on Sunday. But I didn't understand the again, I was facing the consequences of my bad decisions.
Ray:Right.
Ariel:Right? And, yes, you're right. It took me about year and a half, even with Jesus in my heart, almost 2 years to get out of the pornography, alcohol, because I was addicted to porn and porn. Let me tell you, if you're listening out there, pornography is destroying the families today all over the world, not just in America. And not just that, but pornography will trap you.
Ariel:And if you don't find help, you will lose hope to the point that you will end up taking you online.
Ray:And that's you've said this before, and it always captivated me. You said that pornography made you feel hopeless. It was if I can't break this habit, and so I'm just hopeless. And so if I'm hopeless, I've lost hope. And that was a point in your life to where you're like, why should I even be here?
Ray:I'm so stupid. I can't get over this. And, ultimately, you know, you've been freed from that with the Lord's help, and it's a daily challenge and accountability and all those things, but you found hope. You hit, you know, you hit bottom. I don't know if we've hit the second bottom yet, but but you moved out of your apartment to some place everybody will recognize.
Ariel:Right. So after about almost a year living in that apartment and losing all my finances, I couldn't pay the rent anymore. So I made the decision to support, my wife at the time and my 2 girls, with the little money I was making. And, I just decided to move out of that apartment and slip on my truck for a while at Walmart on on Danforth and, in Santa Fe here in Edmond. I just went to the parking Walmart.
Ariel:I was just sleeping there for a few days. And, You're homeless? I was homeless.
Ray:And what time of year was this?
Ariel:This was in February.
Ray:So winter?
Ariel:Winter. You're
Ray:sleeping in your truck Mhmm. At Walmart, and you're thinking that here I was, an executive, top of the world, look how far I've come. Mhmm. Six figure, heavy salary, 2 beautiful kids, a wife, and I have blown it. I'm living in a truck at Walmart.
Ariel:At Walmart. And Wow. That one the first day, sleeping on my truck at Walmart, it was when I hit the second bottom. Because I remember I I got up that morning. It was snowing.
Ariel:It was very cold. I went into Walmart that morning to to wash my face and do my routine in there because I didn't have, again, a place to live. So, I remember I came back, and I was drinking a coffee, and it was just me in the car in the truck. I didn't have anything. My family was not there.
Ariel:I lost it all, my finances. And and I remember the the Lord asked me one profound question. He asked me, Ariel, look around. What do you have? I was like, nothing.
Ariel:And he asked me a profound question. He asked me, am I enough now? Wow. That