Episode 74: We Don't Sound Autistic

Blake is joined in this episode by Udeep. They talk about everything from Neurodivergence, Roman Glass, Christopher Columbus, and a plethora of other riveting topics.

What is You Don't Sound Autistic (YDSA)?

Welcome to our mental health awareness podcast. If you're one of the millions of teens, adults and (entire) families being diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD (hyperactive)/ADD (inattentive), Anxiety, Depression or other Neurodiverse conditions without a meaningful support group or a roadmap, jump right in with us.

Our raw and unfiltered journey will help you. We'll break it down and talk about it in a real, raw and sometimes tragic perspective. We lived it. And thanks to a few key people, we're still alive today to talk about it. So let's talk about.

Here I am My name's Blake. I also have ADHD. anxiety and depression. Let's get into it. Welcome back to another episode of You Don't Sound Autistic. I'm Blake. My name is Udeep. And I'm autistic. So am I. Interesting. I know people are going to be like, wait, what? There's two dudes on there. uh Yeah. So Udeep is uh another coworker of mine and uh he's gracious enough to come on the show today. And we're just going to have a conversation. mostly just as we've been like with with with Hannah and even with my mom like just kind of shooting the shit and and trying to sprinkle in some some nuggets of uh you know information as far as the you know autistic journey the um neurodivergent journey in in general and then you know have some laughs hopefully and uh at the same time so welcome sir thank you very much for having me i'm excited to be here yeah Um, make sure you get close enough to that microphone. Don't be afraid. Um, I'm like right up on this mic here. is tickling my mustache. Okay. Hey man. Hey, you want to be to get personal? first time you've come over to my house, I don't know about the mustache tickling. Hey, look, if you, wouldn't have invited me over if you weren't okay with the mustache. That's all I'm going to say. You've seen it long enough. You knew what you were going to get. You can't be surprised. You know what's funny is like I was thinking about the other day. is uh when we were talking about doing this, I was like, is he going to do like accents on the show? And people are going to be like, what was with the guy doing the Indian accent? And I'd be like, well, you don't understand how great it is when you hear my voice. I am so brown that I wear a turban, but you would not tell from the way I sound. if I wanted to have like a Seth Rogan vibe, dude, like I know that you hate that. But then you also kind of remind me of my friend Richard. Both are pretty white dudes, you know? So it's kind of funny because it's just like, what? Okay. So it's like, you can't sound autistic. Can you sound brown? That's the thing that I get. It's like, I used to work for State Farm. And so you think State Farm, was Jake from State Farm was the longest time joke, you know, it was a white guy sitting at a desk. So I would call them and you would get a call. like, hi, my name is UD, but State Farm, how are you doing today? And it's like, I'm sorry, what was your name? Eugene? And it's like, Sure. Why not? Cause like, how are you going to tell this person in a $4 million house? You're like, I don't know. It's a, the letter you in front of the word deep, you know, I'm a real person. I'm not a scammer. Like, you know, promise I'm actually here. m I'm sitting in Milton right now. Like, come on man. Like I'm a real person. Like it's wild because I sound like a scammer without the accent. It's what it feels like. It's like my name could be made up. It's the it's the word deep with the letter you in front of it I know that's uh, but you know, what's funny. It always makes me wonder like When when I have traveled like when I go to other countries and then and they're like Blake like, you Be Lake what the hell is that? But lucky no, can imagine going to like this Spain or something like that and having you know, that conversation Yeah, right Well, yeah, I mean, it's, it's, um, it's, it's, don't know the whole thing with like culture, like I find culture so interesting. And I think part of it is just, I've, you know, I've done a bit of traveling and it's like, you realize how similar and somewhat dissimilar we are. And it makes it really kind of like, not to be too like cheesy, but it says, it's kind of like this beautiful thing that you like, you go like when I went to Vietnam, um, and I was just like, fuck, it's so pretty here. Can you, I can't imagine being here and like. Every day. Well, and it, it being like murder and like death and stuff, you know, like from the Vietnam war. Um, and then like, oh, fun fact, we went to the American war museum and I was like, Oh, I wonder what this is all about. And they're like, it's the Vietnam war, but we don't call it that here. And I was like, Oh, this is going to be real hoot. It's like, oh shit, who are those bad guys? Oh. You're like, man, those guys look like, they look like me. Trust me, how do you think I feel living in the US of A after 2001? Oh my God. In upstate New York. Oh no, I didn't even think about that. Yeah, I lived in Albany, New York. You're like, no. No, no, I'm a different type of Brown. I promise. you you try to explain that. Like I have a head wrap on, I have a turban on. All right. In my religion is a turban in the other countries. It's a head wrap, but I have a turban on. But how do you explain that to people? You're like, I'm promise. I'm not the type of Brown you think I am, but like, you know, I look just like it. You know, I look like the six of the top 10 most wanted FBI guys, like smushed into one person, but it doesn't really help anything else. That's that's crazy. You know, it's funny is like when I went to, I went to Ireland and, and I always, I've probably told the story a bunch of times on here, but I was just saying, it's funny when I was like in a pub and they're like, what part of Ireland do you from? And I was like, I'm from, I'm from California. So, uh, cause I look so like shockingly Irish that there's like no possible way that I didn't live down the street. Are we related? And I'm like, we could be, but I know not, not that related. It's like Peter going to Ireland to find his dad in that episode of Family Guy. You know, I've never really gotten into that show. Really? I've seen, you know, I think the reason is because when I was, um, when I first, someone first mentioned it to me, they were like, you remind me of the dog. And I was like, well, that's not very nice. And then someone else, I told someone else that they're like, dude, that was a compliment. uh He's probably the smartest person on the show and he's a dog. When was the compliment given to you is the question. Like years ago. Yes. At that time, yes. If it's anything in the last fucking eight years, the show's gone sideways. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, no, this was, this was probably before I got married. So then yes, a hundred percent. Pre 2015. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent that I could see with that being the context. Yes. I a hundred percent see that being the case in a positive manner. Okay. Yeah. The show obviously just got bought out by Disney and then turned. sideways from his original. What's his name? Seth. Seth and the Farland. Yeah. Does he still do the show? He still does all their stuff. ah But it's, I have not watched it. like, I think the last time I really watched that show was before COVID. And after that, I tried to like put on a couple of episodes of the new one. And I'm like, it's not anything like what it was. It's not any, ah It lost its charm. It lost what actually made it an interesting kind of stupid goofy show that had some nuance to it to just being Idiotic as all hell like it was already going towards that route, but now it just kind of devolved. It's weird. It's like South Park I was thinking about this in the Simpsons like they're like cultural staples Yeah, but I will still watch South Park I don't really watch the Simpsons anymore and like it lost its luster for me years ago. Like I was right there like in 89 watching the first episode. When if you watch that now, like you go back, it's like Marge was basically like in the first episode cheating on Homer. Yeah. And then he's like, I'm going to go home and make love to my wife. Yep. I was like six years old watching that. Oh, you can't. And you couldn't do that exact episode again. Imagine if that pilot from then. Oh yeah. No, right now. No way. You wouldn't have the show. It was too, it was too like adult. It's kind of like it was kind of like a hard hitting more Edgy because that's why it was on Fox at the time, you know Like Fox had all the edgy shows it had married with children it had you know what I mean? Like they had cops it paved the way for stuff like King of the hill and things like that and those also became like huge icons for the time period Yeah, mean dude Beavis and Butthead one of my favorite cartoons ever. I love Beavis and Butthead and we work with You know, we work with two people that look like Beavis and Butthead and I got one of them hired and that's hilarious. Yo, it's funny is, um, I remember like, Oh yeah. Um, it's, funny cause, uh, Beavis he, uh, like when he's like walking around, I'm just like, man, I don't know if I'm mad at the hair because I have so little. Or. Was I a bird in the previous life? Cause I feel like every time I see the top of that dude's head, want to land. I really hope he's listening. I, I'm going to make sure he doesn't. He's very intently listening now. He's strapped to a chair listening to this. Oh my God. No, but that's, that's so funny. uh I, uh, uh, one of my, uh, managers had looked at me and is like, so. What's going on with the turbine? I'm like what you mean? It's like why are you so like upset right now? I'm oh, it was just raining I my turbo was just soaked and he's like boohoo. I'm like, okay. Look here, you know hair having sir I've got hair under the turbine even though I might have bald spots and patches and things No one else is gonna see going on. You're like this has nothing to do with those balls. There's still here My religion the fact that it rained means that water went through the cloth and soaked into my hair right and it is not a pleasant feeling Right. Oh dude, don't like getting rained on. uh oh, speaking of, so, okay, we're going all over the place. It's great. ADHD just like, uh Um, but no, like going back to what we were talking about before we started recording is you were talking about, um, diagnoses that you had received. Um, do you want to run through that again real quick? Just so that people have kind of an idea. I always think it's funny because, um, Not that like the show, you know, the show has is, is really, do this because and continue to do it. It's like therapeutic for me. Yeah. You know, kind of, and it's also like, you know, it's fun, like, you know, I get to hang out with my buddy from work, you know, like, or like when I get to hang out with, know, when I'm, when I recorded with Hannah and, know, you've been doing something different in a conversation with my mom that I've had. then, you know, of course having done it with Rochelle personal long. You know, it's, like all these different, different ways conversations can go, but we've never had another dude on here and it, and not even that, like two, neurodivergent people just going, you know, uh, cause we had Shandel on here. She's, uh, she was in one of the previous episodes before I started rerecording, you recording new episodes this year. Um, and so that was like the closest I think we got where it was like. You know, but we've kind of let her take this, take the stage, you know, because she was sharing her experience as a woman that's autistic. Anyway, take it away, sir. Yeah. Um, I am a diagnosed ADHD. So if that wasn't obvious from everything else, I was diagnosed with Asperger's years ago, but that kind of generic autism now is what they call it. Uh, haven't really gone for any other formal diagnoses since then, but. kind of just been traversing having to figure out the ADHD with between, you know, medication or some therapy or, you know, psychology, psychologists or anything like that. But. It's been something that I'm more or less trying to navigate more now. For a long time, it just felt like it was just natural and I can kind of move through everything. And now that I'm in a different position in life, I feel like I need to understand why it is I react and act the way I do in certain situations and start to change that behavior. Cause I see where it's not good for me. like the comp, mean, for me, a lot of our listeners are like self-diagnosed or they're They have family members or friends that might be, um, autistic or on the spectrum, whatever. And, um, I, and I think that that's a good thing to be that self-aware, but I also do suggest to people if you can get, uh, like an official diagnosis because you, maybe you need a little extra help. Um, that's the main benefit is it, plus it just like in your, like for me in my brain, Knowing what I know now helps me kind of heal the past. know? Yeah. No, I think that's, that's a huge point. Um, my wife recently has started this journey too. And, uh, it's been years of us having this conversation and working through it and never being an easy thing for her, but she's just started that whole journey now and, um, started the medication side, working with the therapist and psychologist, psychiatrist, and she's already seeing a massive change within just a month. Not even as the knowing. Yeah. Just knowing it. And then understanding the first round of medication she's trying is already making a difference in her. And she looked at me today and she's like, I feel better about trying to get stuff done and doing things and I'm more motivated than I was before. It's the same passions of what I wanted to do, but now I can actually get up and do it. And I'm like, you understand how important that was to our years. I could see parts of myself in you, but we can't. make those changes unless you're willing to take that step and it might take time to make that step. I'm envious man that she's able to do that in a like not, you know, obviously she's probably got a long journey ahead to, really nail it down and you never really have it nailed down. Like you're continuing, you're continuously, um, like picture if you have a tarp over like uh a roof or something, like you finally got it there and it's like, but you're continuously having to do maintenance on that bitch. Oh yeah. Life is the game you learn all the rules to backwards. Interesting. Yeah, that's very true. That's why they say that youth is wasted on the young. Yep. Because the older you get, the more you couldn't go back and go, I wish I could redo it. You can't redo it, but you can learn from what you did then and not make the same choices or mistakes that led you down that path that time and you had a better option. That's always the way that you got to live your life. And so these are the cases where Even if it feels like it might be later for some people or the timing might be, Oh, I should have done it. Do it now. Start it tomorrow. So today, you know, it's never too late to begin it. You know, even if you're like, I can't do it today because I have so many things going on, but I want to do it, set a deadline for yourself and try and follow it. That's easier said than done. Cause I have the issue of not following my own deadlines, but you have to kind of get back to basics for what you learned as a kid to how to operate things. If you want to try and figure out what's going to work with you as an adult. Well, I mean, that's very true. think also to add to that would be, um, you know, like when you're, um, you know, especially the ADHD side of my brain, but when you have things that you need to do, see everything all at once. And it's like, so overwhelming. And one of the things that my doctor and I have talked about, and I've seen videos, Tik TOKs, like that over it. is just like, you know, it sounds stupid, but it's like baby steps. got to take, take a step. Yeah. You know, even if it's in the wrong direction, you know, like you just got to move and it's hard. Sometimes it's, I mean, especially with like depression and that's the thing like, you know, I'm dealing with this thing at work where, you know, I've mentioned my FMLA and stuff like that. You know, even then it's still, it's hard to explain to someone how like, It's not that I don't want to be alive. I just don't want to, I can't people right now. I can't be around people. I can't be with anybody. Um, and that isn't something that, um, I take lightly. And it's in the fact that I know that about myself now, cause there were so many times where I would just be, I'd be at a job and I'd be like so miserable. And I'm like, what is going on? It's like, can't people right now. I'm going make a t-shirt. I think, no, that the, it is so accurate. They're I actually bought this for my wife and it was a two pack so I might steal one now and take it to work but it's a pin that has my human battery level on it and it's a little slider that's on there and it can go from 100 % to 0%. I've seen those, those are awesome. As soon as I saw that I bought the two pack and went Amazon ordered it and I was like, needs this. I definitely understand that because I can get into a point where I want to spend time with people that I care about and I want to hang out with my friends or I want to, you know, talk to them. But after just being at work all day and talking to customers or, know, dealing with, you know, not dealing with, but talking to coworkers or dealing with other situations at work, you're so burnt out and just trying to communicate to other people that if you're just blunt or tired or just kind of an a-hole for any reason, then it's, you're like, I'm not trying to take it out on you. just like, I have no energy to like, we've spent, unfortunately we spend so much of our emotional and mental currency while we're working those eight hours that we get home. And then the people that take the brunt of it are the ones we care about the most. Yeah. And which is oh so true. so, you know, and, it's like, like, for instance, when I'm, ah when I'm with my son, I need to be with him and just focus on being with him. And then I, you know, it makes me feel, um, it sounds weird, but like, his energy is so infectious. And so it's like, he's such a weirdly positive influence in my life. Like it's weird, right? Like it's, it's our relationships are reciprocal and to look at, you know, like I never realized how important it was not just for you to teach your child, but for you to be open to learning from your child. They teach you a lot about yourself. I know you don't have a kid yet, but It's one of those things that like you can, you can think you can understand what I'm saying, but the second you see it, you're going to be like, Blake was right. I, that's something that I've started to take a lot more seriously in life where I hear people say something like that because again, when I was younger and you'd hear from people, you know, when you were 10 or 12 and you hear from someone when they're 25, 26 and they're like, Hey dude, this, this and that, man, I'm telling you like focus on these things. What do you what do know man? I'm trying to play I'm trying to have fun like what are you telling me to? Focus on these school things or this other stuff like you're thinking about something else as a kid and then when you get to 27 28 I should listen to some of that or it's like Anything like that. So as I've gotten older I've started to hear things like that and I'm like keeping that the back of my head because those moments come up or it's like Yeah, he said this was gonna be like this. Yeah, or when I got like when I had my wedding I got to see my nieces and nephews and my cousins after so long My baby cousin, when I moved from New York, she was a couple years old, maybe like two or three, four, something like that. And I saw her and she was like in high school. I'm like, oh my God, Jasmine, I haven't seen you in forever. And she's like, hi, how are you? And I'm like, you have no idea who I am. And she's like, not a clue. And I'm like, I spent six hours a day with you as a baby during summers, like when everyone else was doing something, I would take care of you for times. Like, oh my God. It's wild, right? Because, well, you know what? And it's crazy because, um, biological memory or not, no, sorry, biographical memory. They say doesn't really start until you're about two years old. And even then, like your personality isn't fully developed until you're about between five and seven. Yeah. They, you know, obviously things can change and you grow up and everything, but but like the core of who you are as a person. So like my son's almost eight. He's basically like, that's, that's the jumping off point he has in his life. And, and thank God that he's so sweet and hilarious because like, I would never want him to feel like I have felt in my life where like, I've been told like, you're not, you know, you're ugly or you're, um, you're lazy or you're not funny. And I'm like, I'm fucking, I'm so funny. And I think one of the things that I learned as a kid or that I didn't learn, but I think that caused some issues for me as a kid growing up was everything you just said, I almost did to myself. Yeah. When, cause I was saying I grew up in upstate New York after 2001 I'm raised seek. I have a turban. I got a beard now, I didn't have a beard when I was eight, but you know, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna be growing facial hair at some point, but. I thought you guys came out of the womb with facial hair. I came out with a full head of hair and like. Oh, you bastard. What was that like? It was great, let me tell you that, all the nurses wanted me at that time. getting passed around like crazy. you deep is handsome. I know it was not. I was a cute baby. I see my baby photos, my kid photos. I was adorable. What the hell happened? That's what we all think, dude. And I really and you know, looking back on it and then going through like I I never actually looked bad. I never actually had these things. It was always looking in a mirror and seeing a kid wearing the turban. And you're like, who the hell looks like me? Yeah. Who? who represents me anywhere was an issue that I had. And so I would always think I'm like, well, no one looks like me. I know my family looks like me. I know my uncles and my relatives are when I go to India, people look like me, but I'm in America. Who looks like me on TV? Who looks like me in a cartoon? Who looks like me anywhere? Something me and my brother freak out about is when we see a seeker, guy with a turban walking in the background. just had the best idea for a TV show. All right, hit me. So like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, right? You know, you know, you've, know the story. Yeah. So hide is a white dude. Yeah. Hide and seek. He's like, I'm leaving. I can't dude. I don't get to pick this stuff. I really I Really wish that I'd like could hear my thoughts and go that's not worth saying But it just sounded I don't know why that just one of my favorite comedians though is Daniels loss and he goes when you come up with a joke It's not like you just not say it. It's not like it just fucks off It just sits there and it gets funnier and funnier and funnier until you fucking say it. So it's like, sometimes I'll be laughing at my own joke for like 10 minutes. like, I should have said it five minutes ago because it's nothing now, but yep. Yeah. So that hit me. had a coworker years ago who hit me with a similar kind of joke where it was like, I had helped. I'd seen my brother earlier that morning. He went to GSU at the time in Atlanta and I was helping him with some stuff. And then I went to work at Academy and I went to work and one of my coworkers like, I saw your brother this morning. And I'm like, You opened the building this morning. I was in Atlanta in the morning. What do you mean you saw my brother? And I was so confused. And he goes, yeah, I saw your brother. He was at the store. I'm like, what are you talking about? Yeah. I shallow. Oh, Dave. I'm not dude. Dave, I hate you for this. Yeah, exactly. That's so funny. It's like, but it's it's such a dad joke because I think I made a comment like that. And then you told me that story at work because I was like me. me shallow. Oh yeah. Something like that. But yeah, no, it's like, I don't know. I feel like comedy is such a great way. I mean, it's really like as jokes come to you, there's nothing more pure than just telling someone a joke and like seeing their reaction. Like, is it funny? Like that moment before they laugh or before they react in any way, or form is like why I get up in the morning. I know that you've got that moment where it's like, you can either see it where they're like leaned into the joke. A bit. You're like, where's this going to go? Or, and you know, you make a funny joke or you hit that punch line on it and everyone that you hear them laugh or you know when it's going to happen is always such a great feeling. I feel like I love it situationally. when moments can happen and I can just do something and it works out so well. Like the other day, I had a customer on the phone and I had somebody else on a live chat, someone else texting me and then an email that came through and I wish I was joking about everything. I'm going to say each person I was talking to was an Indian. I had an Indian on the phone. I had an Indian texting me back. had an Indian person on the live chat because their name, the account that I pulled up. And I emailed back from another Indian customer and I'm sitting here going, they know where we're everywhere. And I finally, I see myself now. I, no, I don't. I see brown people everywhere. Do you see turbot? I see a few turbines, but not even near as much yet. can't see the turbine through the email, I guess. I know you can't, you can't hear the turbine through this podcast either. Everyone's sitting here going, this guy's gotta be white as. That would be so funny. telling you. I'm really not. Would it make you feel better if I just talk like this the entire time? I could do that. Oh my God. The first time I ever threw the accent on anytime, I worked at a Burger King. Oh really? And it was in the drive-through. So something came through and it was all like, you know, my manager that was there at the time was like 18 or 19. And I was 18. So it's like, we were all the same age. And I'm like, Hey, I'm going to do something. goes, what? Thank you for choosing Burger King. My name is Adip. Let me help you today. And it's like, I would like to get four chicken sandwiches and 30 McChickens and I'm sitting there going, are they screwing with me? Cause I just did the accent to them. Or is this actually an Indian family? Yeah. Hold around. wasn't actually an Indian family. like, God. You're like, Oh crap. gotta keep up the charade. did the entire time I the accent on. I'm like, you're kidding me. They're like, we decided to come in and eat. You're like, okay. quit. Yeah. Just like, Oh my God. It was the first time I threw the Accent on and I was like so nervous at 18. And then I worked for a very large tech company. And, um, when I worked in the computer department, I'd be like talking to a customer about a product and say, is this a good value? So I'm telling you, this is very, very good deal. And the look on people's faces, like, cause I would be so serious with them. And the minute that I would put the Accent on was the moment they started to piss me off, but they wouldn't know it because they were asking either the same things over and over again, or it was like, Oh, a redundant question versus everything else I've asked. like that's when I would start answering with the accent on and then it's understood everything I said. So I was like, do I really just need to sell every piece of technology with an accent from now on? And then they hit me the first time through. That's so good. It's like, it like hurts my heart. You paid attention to everything I said with the accent. Well, it's like, remember, dude, talking about like, because we're talking about this, like I was so ignorant about certain things, probably still am about certain things. But when I was, you know, after 9 11, cause you're talking about growing up in New York, um, I thought like, like, thought India was the middle East. It's very close to it with the way they have it. No, know. But like, thought like, I was like, Oh, those dudes were, you know, like, uh, what was, what's Osama bin Laden? Yeah. He's Indian. Yeah. When I dated, um, I did, you know, I dated, my, I don't know my Indian girlfriend. But I had a girlfriend, um, who I was going to say was Indian. She probably still is. Yeah. mean, unless she pulled a Michael Jackson. I had this video of myself in high school, you know, I'm like 17 years old or something and I'm like, Oh, we're bringing on a, unfortunately, Mel Gibson can't be here with us today. So we're bringing on our, uh, last minute. You know person coming out and it's like you love him. I love him Osama Bin Laden your favorite Indian and he doesn't come out and she was she looked at me and like Punched me and I was like what she was like, he's not Indian you idiot And I was like, oh my god, you have no idea how many people have seen this and not told me What I think is even funnier is if that exact same joke was said like 90 years ago and everything still happened back then. Technically he would have been found in India because he was found in Pakistan. Oh, fair enough. Um, but yeah, like it's just, so I get it like to a certain degree, like when people, people are, and it's not like I wasn't like, I didn't like dislike anybody. Yeah. You know, well, it just didn't, I just didn't understand. It's like, it used to be kind of homophobic, but I met gay people and I was like, okay. Yeah. They're just kind of gay. My whole life I had a friend that I was kind of looked at him like Yep, I have a feeling and then it was just like we were in middle school one day in the seventh grade and he's like So I just need to tell you that you know, I'm I'm gay and I'm like, yeah, I know What do you mean, you know, we all know dude Don't don't start with me on how I know Yeah, are you talking? I know your favorite TV shows I know your favorite music. know you're literally painting my nails right now. I know what we did last weekend. No, that's funny. It's like, you know, come on man. serious? And, I just don't, that's the thing is like, don't, just don't get hate. Yeah. I understand. Like to me, I like, we're joking around about it. I think that's totally fine. And you know, what's kind of weird is like, There was like this really weird gap where it was all cancel culture and everything. It feels like that's kind of going away a little bit because like some of the comedians that are starting to get more popular, like Shane Gillis, just did you see that he's like just broke a world record for like selling the most tickets for a single solo comedian? Yeah, that's crazy. And you know what's even wilder? I don't I can't say I don't like it. And again, I'm a I'm 50 50 on Shane Gill's. Yeah. He's got things that I think are hysterical. He's got moments that are funny. I don't love everything he does. I don't love the whole. That's like every comedian though. I love everything. Everyone does. I think the last time I could say I loved a comedian and I loved an actor for who they were and everything they did for like 90 % of it was like Robin Williams. I was going to say Robin Williams. mean that was an era where I feel like that dude there's only only was one and only ever will be one. Yeah. If Robin Williams, I feel like if Ryan Reynolds wasn't a businessman that he is. Yeah. And he did stand up. Then he would be the closest thing we have to like a, another version of like a modern Robert Williams. I feel like he could in an essence get blasphemy, not in the funny sense. I should take that back a little bit in like the way that he's hit cultural. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like his Deadpool. Yeah. could be something similar. he is his own kind of, the only thing is that like Robin Williams was like a really good actor too. I think Ryan Reynolds is kind of always playing Ryan Reynolds. He just to be really good at playing Ryan Reynolds. I feel like we never got enough of Robin Williams in those serious roles. Like there's a few of them. don't know, Dead Poets Society. Dead Poets Society is one of my favorite films of all time. Even some of the comedies have dramatic, you know, Mrs. Dalfire has dramatic moments in it. Oh, of course. But it's also fucking hilarious. What was that one where he's like the memory scrubber? Oh. Oh my God. Um, final cut. Thank you. That is, oh my God, it's such a deep. That's a weird, that's a weird movie. You know, movie I always really liked with him is, um, one hour photo. Did that? Yes. Dude, that movie's so dark. Have you seen him in a law and order? He's on one. He was on law and order. He was in SVU on an episode and it was a very, very dark episode and he played a very, very good character in it. Yeah. Oh man. He was like, it's, I love when. There's something about comedians. There's something about comedians where like, not all comedians, but certain people, like there's such a depth of character and they always say the tears of a clown kind of thing. Like, is there anybody that embodies that more than someone like Rod Williams? I mean, think about it. mean, unfortunately the dude killed himself because he had like, you know, but I mean, I don't... I don't think like, you know, when you hear about celebrities passing away, people are like, Oh, I cried. I like legitimately was like inconsolable. I fell apart for a couple of days. Yeah. And I'm like, I never met the dude. Like it's so, but it's like you there. He was like part of my life in a weird way and like no other actor or comedian. Cause and I have a, did I tell you that I have a weird kind of six degrees of Kevin Bacon connection to Robin Williams? Okay. So the reason that I ever wanted to be a filmmaker or entertainer of any kind, my friend Thomas in, um, first grade, mean, not really friends now, but we were friends in first grade and he was working in the movie business and I was like, what, what is this? How is this? How real people can be in movies. And, um, he was in the movie hook. He's a loss boy. And, uh, so he's talking about Steven Spielberg. He's talking about like, there's penguins on set. He's talking about me and Robin Williams. And I was like, what? And so I started talking to my mom and my stepdad being like, I want to be in the, I want to do this. I want to be in the movies. I didn't realize you could do this. Like, cause because the movies in my mind, it was like old older, you know, like Cary Grant, they were like these bigger than life. It's not like now we're like you everyone's on the Internet. Yeah. And like it kind of has reduced celebrity, especially when you have like the Kardashians and stuff like that. People are famous for just being on TV as opposed to having like some real talent. You know, like when you look at like the the gods of the movie screen from like the old days, like, you know, Spencer Tracy and uh All those guys, you know, like in the film and the filmmakers, like all those, you know, John Wayne. Yeah. And then you get, you know, anyway, um, it's, it's just like, I didn't realize literally, like, I was like, Oh my God, real people can do this. So I did, I started working as an extra and the first movie I ever did was mighty ducks too. And so I met Emilio. Um, it's funny cause like the white part of my brain wants to say Estevez, but I think it's Estevez. Estevez, but yeah And I met Paul Abdul, but I didn't know it was Paul Abdul. I didn't know who Paul Abdul was I just knew I was hanging out with these kids and then like years later I was like I just hung out with Paul. I was hanging out with Amelio Estevez's kids What that's amazing. Yeah But all of that based because of Robin Williams. Yeah, because he and he was like so Apparently cuz by you know, my like I said my buddy From first grade. He was he was and he's like has like a speaking He is like a like a role in the movie. Like he's not just like some random kid. He actually has like screen time and like is like some of the more memorable moments in the movie. You remember the scene where the kids are all blowing out their lights? Yeah. And then he's there's the one the last kid and he blows raspberries into his thing and he goes, good night, Neverland. Is that it? That's my that's the dude that I went to school with. Isn't that crazy? That's awesome. Yeah, that's incredible. Yeah. And he's now he's like a, um, he's like a filmmaker. He does. Yeah. He does. Uh, like he does, um, like short films and stuff like that. And then he's, uh, he's, he was vlogging at one point. Um, cause I, like, I kind of caught up with him on Facebook and then like my Facebook, I lost all my friends on Facebook because someone hacked my account. And so I don't think I've been able to, like, I think I tried to add him as a friend and he was like, who's this? You know? Cause it's like, remember because it was impactful to me, but he's probably like, yeah, I mean, okay. Yeah. So I'm just some random dude that tells him that he went to school with them. Yeah. You know, whereas like, I'm like, don't make me show you the picture of us in the school. Look, look, look at this. That's me. And that's you. OK, calm down, fella. Yeah. So, yeah, anyway, no, that's it's it's I don't know why we got it was the whole Ron Williams. No, I know. I know. But even then, I'm still like, what were we talking about? I think each thing has led to another story that's branched off into a third story. And that shows you where ADHD can come out like drastically. Conversation's alive. That's what's nice about meeting somebody else that has, you know, is neurodivergent in that way, or that kind of matches the energy of the level that you can have at moments where you're like, I want to converse with people. I want to talk. My brain's running at a million miles a minute sometimes. Other times it's running at two, but when it is running, who can I bounce these ideas or just talk with and feel comfortable to have done all of that and not feel judged for having jumped from one topic to the next, to the next, to the next. And that's a very calming and relaxing feeling to have because even with my best friends, and these are people that I love to death, one of them's coming over to my house today to play D &D. I don't always even feel comfortable with them sometimes because they're like, hey, calm down, breathe. I don't doesn't bother you when people do that and it's like like you're talking you're like you're being loud and it's like I Think yes, and no it makes you feel kind of shitty though I think in the moment and depends on how it's done Yeah, I think that's the most important thing is like I've had to tell my friends like yeah I appreciate you letting me know about that Maybe try a little bit of a different way to get my attention because that kind of hit me in a weird spot You know, it's hard to talk to like certain male friends about that because they're just like shut the fuck up. Yeah, I care about you You know, I care about you. I'm just going to tell you to fuck off. And if it doesn't make sense to you or you want to take it a little more emotional, do it. Yeah, I apologize, but that's not, know who I am. Get over it. So I'm like certain friends, I've kind of got to put that grain of salt and go, you are an asshole because you are my friend. And I know who, so it's like, okay. But like my wife does it or something. She's like, Hey, you're being loud. It's like, Hey, my ears are a little sensitive right now. And I feel like you're talking a little bit louder. That hits me a little bit differently than like, you're being loud. It makes me feel like, maybe I'm just excited about something and I'm just talking about it. But if you're not feeling well enough for me to be this, you know, excited, cause I'll even tell my like, honey, I know you're excited right now. I'm sleepy or like I'm tired or something. Like my ears aren't really ready to keep up with that level of excitement or enthusiasm. Your wife sounds so nice. It's like, well, it's something that we both have done. Shut your mouth. It happens a lot because She gets home from work at 10 30 or 11 sometimes. Oh my gosh. And I'm ready to go to sleep. She works at Costco. So she works third shift there. So she works, you know, five to 10 or six to 11 or four to nine. So it's later I get home from work at five, five 30. Right. If I see her when I get home and she still works that day, that means she doesn't go to work till six 45 and she gets home at midnight. So I don't get to see her some days, but I'm going to sleep for work to be up in time and. If I do, she's getting home from work about to eat dinner and spend like an hour or two gaming and relaxing. She's like, Oh, all this stuff happened. Let me tell you about my day. And I'm like, babe, I've got a pillow under my ear. I'm playing ocean sounds on Siri. Like I'm like about to pass out. I'm like, you're comforting, but I love you, but this is way more comforting. Yeah. It's very, just for the moment. It's a lot of energy and it's a lot of, and I understand where your energy is coming from, but I'm about to pass out. know. And that is one of the. one of the many challenges I think, um, being neurodivergent is like you, you get like, get like, don't do well with like people being loud, but then I'll be loud. And then I'm like, so I do try to be very aware of that, but I also have tried to give myself some grace and allow myself to be me. You know, so it's, it's hard because for the longest time I would like, I still do it like stifle myself. And it's just like, I'm like shoving my personality back, you know? it's, it's, you know, like, like work me is not the same me that is on this podcast or is like the guy driving to work. Yeah. You know, it's like just a different energy that I require in order to feel comfortable being around other people. You know, I've always felt like. Um, once I can get a little more comfortable with myself and just the situation or surroundings, it's just me. So you, when I was, especially when I was in retail, I'd walk in or I said, Oh God, I gotta go. Like at least just fake smile to some people. But no, it's me in a conversation. Like I would still, like I said, I'd switch into an accent, right? You know, I, I'd screw around with the customer a little bit when it's like, so wait a minute, you, you're asking me about if this power and performance is going to handle what you're doing. You're sending emails and looking at spreadsheets. Do you want the $2,000 monitor? No, you only want to spend 200 bucks. That's what I'm telling you to spend $200 on this one. So like, why are you asking me the ridiculous question of like, well, is this really worth it for the money? Like, for you. We're talking about it. I'm trying to explain to you what's worth it. And I'm telling you what's worth it. And you're like, well, are you sure about that? It's like, shut up. It's like cars. Like you don't, if you need a commuter car, you don't buy a frigging, uh, charger or something that eats gas. It's like, and I've got buddies like that who, you know, would think like that. And I'm like, that's not the mindset to have. I've got other friends that, you know, we're not really friends anymore, but people I used to know who would buy a $2,000 beater. it's like, I'm just going to drive this until it dies. And then I have to buy a new car six months later. And I'm like, why didn't you just spend the, you know, six K and something better at 10 K or something better? No, we look at some other options and it's not like they were financially in that. So it's like, oh, I don't think I really need a car that has all that. Yeah. I will say this. There's a few things in life that I, you know, is, is anything other than like your loved ones really in food and like shelter a necessity pro, you know, maybe not, but as far as like creature comforts, I think I like my car, that, um, my, my Honda is the first car I've ever had that I felt like I picked and was mine and it was brand new when I got it. And I love it. Like, like as much as you can love a car. And it's, it's because it's, it's just, there's something about that. Like it's only ever been my car. And I understand like not everyone's in a position that's a fortuitous position of being to be able to buy a car brand new. Um, but I was in that position. And if you can, I highly recommend it because There's something like it's the longevity of it. Yeah. I've had that car since 2016 and I'll probably have it for God knows how much longer. It's working. It's running. Yeah. Keep going. Yeah. I mean like I just got the brakes redone for the first time. Yeah. Oh wow. 10 years. I never needed new brakes. Just got new brakes. Um, the only problem is like in Georgia, I feel like I've gone, I'm just flying through tires. Oh, nails. Seriously. It's like, So they redid the roof in the house and the roofing guys, didn't, they didn't clean the nails. So it gets really windy here in Georgia. And so like to this day, this was over a year ago to this day on a windy day, I'll find like roofing nails all over the uh driveway. And I'm like, hello. So I've been collecting them. like at the end of the term when I leave, I'm just going to be like, by the way, here's these 40 nails and who knows what whichever ones I ran into that were like in my tires right now. Here's my conspiracy. We got to make sure that, big tire isn't just spreading nails all around there. First off, is it just me or is it every time you get a big, you always get a nail out of your car. Do you have to replace the damn thing? You can't just replace one. You got to replace two. Oh, no, they tell you like you got to replace all your tires. Oh, they can bite it sometime. Okay. Look, I will. I will listen to mechanic. will talk to them. will get every bit. If I just got my back tires replaced or I got two brand new tires and then something happens, I have to replace two. I'm going to have the fight of like, it's been less than like a two to six month period or something like that. We're going to have an argument because I'm not, I'm not going to be dealing with stuff like that. And I feel like there's a level nowadays of that over selling or over bullshit to everything. Even like vehicles or stuff like that where I'm like, I think the overselling of stuff that we're doing is causing a lot of other crap that's happening, like environmental issues, other stuff aside. That is a part of causing all this stuff where it's like, oh yeah, let me overcharge you. be like, oh, you have to do all this stuff. Do you need to, or are you telling me to do it because it's beneficial for you guys? For you. Yeah. it really for, that's a, dude, this one thing I think about is like, ah how many... Progress is not always linear. No, it's well, that's true. But I was gonna say progress is not always profitable. Progress shouldn't be profitable. And so like, did you ever see the, there was a documentary years ago called who killed the electric car? You ever see that? I think I've heard of it. they had electric cars in the nineties and then they just disappeared. And it's because the fossil fuel companies, this is the conspiracy, right? the fossil fuel companies and the automotive industry killed it because it was just like, what, how are we going to compete with that? And so now it's become an environmental issue. Roman glass, Roman or Greek glass, uh Roman concrete. Oh yeah. I'm not sure if you know about that glass. I mean, I know a little bit about it because one of the books that, um, is one of my favorite like nonfiction books is it's called like how we got to now the six innovations that made the modern world. And it's glass time, cold, um, clean. And I can't remember the other ones, but, um, it's like the idea of glass in general, it's like, think about everything that we have that's possible because of glass. Well, there was a specific form of glass mate. have to look the story back up to figure out exactly what time period it was. the story goes that a glassmaker had finally come up with this creation of glass and he walked into the parliament and he in front of everybody and I'm not sure if it was Caesar at the time or if it was someone else. He takes the ampule of glass and he throws it against the ground and it bends. And then he takes the glass and he popped it back into shape. And he goes, I made glass that does not break. and they killed him and burned his shop down. Wow. I need to go back into the story. Is that supposed to be a true story? From my recollection, my understanding, it's a lost part of history. If it happened, if it was a rumor, if it was something, that's where the burning of the Library of Alexandria or a lot of these other historical things where we lose information from what happened. we have more information on what's happened in the last 50, 60 years of the world than we do in the remaining time. All of human recorded history because there's not a lot that we actually could have saved a lot of scrolls parchment things like that are being now recreated with 3d scanning and AI and stuff like that for us to find more and more info, but Now we have to read these scrolls or these manuscripts from thousands of years ago and then go Okay, so if they were standing here when they wrote this And they were looking here What was here before it got blown up? Right? Or, what was here before X, Y, and Z could have happened or like... Well, not just that, but then you're also having to take someone's word for it that doesn't exist anymore. Like that's something that trips me out too, is, you know, not to get like, you know, cause people will, you know, I'm not trying to bash religion. I heard you say that in my brain right there. was like, don't do it, No, but my own, my own, my whole point is like, that's what I'm saying. I'm not talking about religion. I'm just saying like, as far as history is concerned. If you go back, like, okay, let's say like the Egyptian pyramids, stuff like that. What if we still don't know how they're. No, I know. But like, what if, what if they're just stories? Yeah. They had to have people's telling stories. what if, you know what I mean? Like I always wonder about that. Like Harry Potter, like in 5,000 years, someone might look at that and go, Oh, that Harry Potter was one hell of a guy. know, like you wouldn't know. And so that's, what I'm saying from a historical context, like it just makes it really interesting. And I would think, I think the most important thing is to take away from that is not like, like I, that's why I was trying to steer away from religion because it's not about like, Oh, you're right. And I'm wrong or vice versa. It's like, use your brain and think and like, be, be open to the fact that it could be interpretation. Yeah. For history, you know, like there's this, there's this really cool little, um, HBO special that they had with, um, what's his name? Robert wool, who most people probably recognize as our list. He was on, he was, he was also on the 89 Batman. He's the, he's the other reporter that's with Vicky Vail. Yeah. Um, he, he does this thing and it's, it's, uh, he goes into a class of a bunch of like college kids and he's talking about history. And he's talking about all these different things. And he goes, you what you, what you learn about Christopher Columbus when you're a kid is all based on a novelized version of his life. So it's, it's, it's aggrandized. It's made up like the Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria, all that stuff. Like they're yes. those are things, but like they made this dude like, because they didn't have movies back then. So it was like a blockbuster was a book. Yeah. Like, Oh, you, did you read Chris Columbus? This book is amazing, dude. And, and, and that's it. It becomes, you know, his line in the show is when the, what is it? It's like some, I'm paraphrasing. It's like when the legend becomes truth, print the legend, something like that. And that's exactly true. Yeah. And that's a line from the man who shot Liberty Valance, I think. Oh, wow. And I think that exact the whole point you were getting to, I thought in that time, that exact time was, uh have you ever seen the Life of Pi or read the book? I've seen the movie. Yeah. So I, ironically enough, I've actually still not seen the film. I have seen excerpts of it and I've seen, you know, I've read part of the book. Ong Lee? Ong Lee that directed that movie? I think so. think anyway, that's, I'm making sure I'm thinking of the right movie life of pie. Yeah, is the kid on the boat with the tiger? Yeah, okay, so uh Because there's a movie called pie Not the same. Yeah, not the same one. So spoilers if you haven't seen it or read it cover your ears The end of the story basically the reporter is looking at pie and he goes So I just have an issue and nothing makes sense here. He goes. Yeah, goes there was a uh a zebra, orangutan, a tiger, and you, I believe. was one of the birds. And you're saying, this creature killed this creature, this happened to this, and then this one attacked that one and ate them. But none of that makes sense. It would only make sense if the cook was the zebra, if... This person was this animal if the orangutan was your mother and then you pie would have been the tiger. You would have been the one to have attacked people and he looks at them and he goes, well, which story would you rather hear? Oh, wow. And that is similar. And it does completely like you have to take that moment. Yeah, you have to sit there and chill. Oh, oh, you have to. What would have happened? Like you're in the middle of the ocean and this dire. So what happened there? It's like, and what story would you rather walk away with in the end of it? Would you rather think of the horrid story of. what really happened, potentially really happened, or are you gonna believe that the animals were real? And that's up to you to walk away and make that decision of, this happen or did this happen? And you walk away knowing that the only person that truly knows is Pi. But even then, Pi might not himself know if his brain split everything up like that too. It's just the whole thing of it's like, yeah, the legend. could supersede the truth of what actually happened because the legend is more powerful than and more interesting. Yeah. In some cases it's like, think about when, when you tell a story about, that's why I like comedy. When you tell us a funny story, you, um, hyperbolize. Yes. Right. And you, you, you throw a couple extra little things in there cause you're just telling a funny story. Um, like All the stuff that like you've seen my you saw my stand-up, right? Yeah. Okay, so You know like all of that is absolutely based in fact, some of it it's like they're tags You know and like you're adding something like, you didn't necessarily in the moment think of that exact funny thing Yeah, you know um but That's the thing that's kind of I love about you know going back to comedy I just like that. It's it's really like such a pure form of expression Now, of course not everyone's very good at it. You know, there's a lot of comedians that, I don't know. I feel like they're doing it for clicks and not doing it because they really like entertaining people. Like they're doing, you know what mean? Like they're doing it to get clout. Whereas like when I've done standup, like I want people to watch it because I want people to see it and for me to entertain them. not like, I don't, know, it's one those weird things. It's like celebrity in my mind has always been something that like would be the byproduct of a really successful career in film. Or in comedy or something like that. Like it would be the byproduct, not the thing that I'm seeking. Yeah. You know what I mean? I think that celebrity or someone along that lines, what I like for me, what I like for it to be nowadays is somebody who seizes not only the opportunities they have, but also does right by others and themselves in a way that's something you can look up to. in a positive light that they do what they love. They do something they enjoy, but then they also use that to become more successful by themselves. Um, example, like Ryan Reynolds again, cause I've, uh, recently I've been watching love Ryan Reynolds. I've been watching a lot of my cousin around 20 minutes the other day about, some soccer and football stuff. Cause I, I like watching premier league, um, football over in UK stuff. what's that? Wrexham. Wrexham AFC. Yeah. I used to be a Manchester City, Manchester United fan. then, Hey, the last couple of years, I just haven't really watched. And then recently I started watching last season and I really liked Wrexham's story that they had, uh, being a owned by the fan base and then getting bought out by Rob McElhenney and Ryan Reynolds. Yeah. I watched that. I watched that series. did. It was pretty cool. It was interesting. It was great. And like, it's the story of the fact that they got, they got promoted twice in the uh soccer and uh football outside of America. People don't understand how it works with like there's multiple leagues and relegation happens when you're at the bottom of the league instead of just being a bad team and being known as the Cleveland Browns, you are in a different, you move down. Yeah. You move to another league. Right. So it like, if the NFL went to the UFO or the XFL, they're like, yeah, you actually suck so much. You have to go to a smaller league with less people. That's what they do to those teams. These guys have gone up in promotion three times to be in the premier league, is like the highest, like one of the highest forms of soccer. And so it's amazing to see them get there. A lot of people are like, well, they're not going to last. They got to that position and they're still fighting to get better. This is a story that happens and this is actually perseverance power. There's a lot in the team and a lot that's going right for them to keep moving that I like the story behind it too. So I like the team. I like to follow stuff like that. Yeah. It's inspiring. That's inspiring. That's the reason that I'm a fan of them. He's an example of somebody who Deadpool. Green Lantern was a bust. uh X-Men Origins Wolverine was a bust. He was getting offered romantic comedy leads and all that other stuff and he didn't have anything that he wanted to do in his career really after those bombs. Well, he pivoted, he took time, he fought, he leaked the Deadpool footage, him. Or Tim Miller or one other person leaked the footage. I guarantee you it was probably Ryan Reynolds and Tim Miller together who leaked the footage, but they really did Deadpool footage. made the movies and he reinvented his career. then at that time he's like, Hey, let me get into my own alcohol business. And he got into aviation gin and then he did the Deadpool tie-ins with aviation gin and everyone loves those because those commercials are great. Those are the ones where he's like laying in front of the fire and he's like, Hey, Deadpool here. Let me show you how to make a vasectomy. is drinking everything and like, love those jokes. Then he has like Mint Mobile, but then these also aren't brands and things that he's like, oh yeah, so my name's on it and they're terrible products and there's stuff that people, oh no, Mint Mobile is cheap as all God. I'm making sure I can help you. And like even me looking at it with my AT &T and everything, I'm like, that's a great value. And even I could, would consider moving over to that if my entire family wasn't on like a specific system that we use. But I love the fact that he's done stuff where he's actually like, oh, this is better for you guys. It's a great investment for me. Cause guess what? we're making it affordable, but it's a value for people that I think is great. And that's where I think that kind of celebrity status is really admiring where they're not trying to rip you off or screw with you. Logan Paul, these, or any of these other YouTube guys, some of the YouTube people are like the cryptocurrency scammers or the other crap where it's like, oh yeah, buy this new coin that I got or whatever. And it's like, you're just ripping off your fan base to get money on an advertising thing. that's wrong to me. Or it's like, oh yeah, I don't support AI stuff or this, that, and the other. But today's sponsor of my video is chat GPT use all this stuff. It's like guys, what you're saying one thing and then you're immediately going to stand on your laurels. If you're going to pick, if you're going to pick something like standby, right? That's why I'm like, there's certain levels of people and certain things that I will respect and get on. It's like, if you're going to stick to your morals and you're really, yeah, I won't do this or I won't do that. Or you're like, you know what? We did this and it was something I didn't want to do or something that happened in this direction due to a business decision and not a personal one. And it's something that I don't agree with and I want to reverse in a way. Like there's ways to go about things properly and then there's ways to do it corporatized and bullshit that I don't like in celebrities nowadays. And I'd like to actually see what they've got to say or be themselves for something. Well, that's, mean, like I was, you know, kind of harkening back to what I was saying earlier. That's, uh apropos to your point is, um, where. Commedians not comedians, but like celebrities used to Chloe, dude, nobody wants to hear you and they're on the podcast. Um, I don't know you guys can hear the cat meowing, but uh, right. Um, better than, you know, she's not coming over to me though. And she's like, but he's new. My dog will do the same thing. We'll show this morning. She was like loving on my wife and then looking back at me, like see father, mom was loving me just to like make me jealous of something that's hilarious. That's funny. Um, but yeah, like Like I was saying about the, you know, like celebrities in the, you know, the fifties, know, like the kind of a silver screen era, if you will. Right. You know, the Hitchcock's pre sixties. I would say, cause it feels like the sixties, like I was talking to my mom about this actually the other day is like the sixties feels for me when it feels like when movies started to get kind of more gritty and real because they were. They actually were rating movies. They were moving away from the, is it the Hayes system where it was like, you just didn't do certain things in movies because there was a code. Yeah. And then Hitchcock started breaking the code with like, flushing a toilet or showing a shower scene or showing blood on, blood, chocolate syrup, chocolate syrup. But still, then like you get, then you get like in the sixties, seventies, like that's to me, like when movies really started getting good. But it also is when movies starting to get like, got the blockbuster with Jaws, which is right behind your head. Um, it's a, of my favorite movies of all time, but it's also like, because of that, then you have the Michael, I was going to say like the Michael Bay transformers, transformers, you know, like, and then it becomes a debate, right? Because like, I like the first one. doesn't, anyway, that's not my point. But yeah, no, I liked the first one and then the rest of them I thought were dog shit, but, um, that's just my opinion. First two were good. It's like they had some funny parts in it. I'm under the robot's testicles is a line I will never not find hysterical. I'm sorry. Every time I laugh at that, I just like the part in the second one where he's like, he's like, where do think you're going? And he's like, I'm going to go try and find you a tighter t-shirt. The other guy's like, we already looked. Or he's like, he's like, there isn't one we checked. I'm gonna see if can find you a tighter t-shirt. Oh my god. I saw behind the scenes, it's completely off topic again, but real quick. is what it is. I just saw behind the scenes thing of like Shia LaBeouf in the first movie where there's that scene where Megatron's like attacking the car he's on. Oh yeah. I saw a behind the scenes clip of what it was. They had a hydraulic press of like 30 tons actually shoot with two arms shooting on either sides of that car with Shia LaBeouf inside of it. Yeah. Oh, that screaming was real. Like, Oh my God. I saw that. I'm like, Oh, you really got thrown around on that car. Like we didn't realize, but Michael Bay is secretly Christopher Nolan or something. He's like, Oh, it's going to be practical here. Boys. Like, know what I'm so stoked for that movie. You have no idea. Oh my God. The Odyssey. It looks bad. Oh my God. And what a, and what a perfect person to, know, it looks that's like speaking of old Hollywood. It looks like, you know, it's I'm not like, I'm not like a, like a religious person, but like, remember loving, I don't know why, but I loved like those big religious epics that like Charlton Heston was in, you know, like the 10 commandments, like when those, like they used to show us those in school. And I'm like, now I'm like, yeah, I don't know if you should have done that. Better than being a school in Florida now where they just got rid of uh Judy B. Jones. Isn't that like an author character? The character from the children's books. What did she do? The word stupid was used in the book. And so Florida got rid of the book from all children's schools. So one of the things that, um, you just made me think of is, do you remember when Paula Dean got in all that trouble? You know, Paula Dean is she's like one of the, she was like a famous chef. Oh yeah. Southern cooking. Hey y'all. Yeah. Her and Snoop Dogg would hang out all the time. No, no, no, no. Snoop Dogg was hanging out with Martha Stewart. Martha Stewart. Yeah. So Paula Dean got in trouble because she, they, I don't remember exactly the context, but it was something about like, have you ever used the N word? Oh yeah. You know what I'm talking about? And then there was that recording. And then she was like, no. Um, and it's crazy cause like, I think about When I remember when that happened, I was like, Oh my God, I've technically said the word because it was in, it's, it was in books and they would make you read it out loud in class. Like Mark Twain, Jim is referred to as N word Jim in the original text. we'd be sitting there in third grade, just being like Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim. And I remember being like, please don't pick me. Please don't pick me. Please don't pick me. I don't want to. Let me read about anything else except for Jim. And I remember when I was in, you know, this honestly wasn't even that long ago when I was eighth grade. So 2000. Oh, God, don't do it to me. 2008. Then. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I got one of our other coworkers when he goes. Yeah, I graduated high school in 97 and I'm like, I was born in 97 and he's like, what? Dude, you were, that means you were four or five when I graduated high school. Yeah. All right. The beard adds a decade. So yeah, I know it's crazy. Like when I, when I, when I shave, um, people are like, oh, you have a baby face. And then I grow my beard and they're like, you look old. You look your age now. I'm like, shave the shit. I remember actually being in eighth grade and my history teacher was going over oh just uh US history from the civil rights and everything. We were talking about baseball. Oh, yeah. And they're referring to the African American only league. They were calling it the actual name of the league and nobody get mad at me for that. It was called the Negro League back in the day. I think that's what it's called. That's what it's called. That's what it referred to. But the way they would say it and the way they would refer to it, obviously, again, it's what it was called. Yeah. Looking back on it, you're like, that just felt like it was way too easy for everyone to kind of get through and say. And it was kind of wild. Well, it's like, isn't the, is it NAACP? Yeah. And it's like, then I don't know. I don't remember exactly, but it's, it's like the kind of thing where it's like the, the, the verb, like they're not going to change the name of their group. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like it's, and plus it's historical. It does showcase, like don't, don't get it twisted. Like it's not been that long. You know what I mean? Like that, that me and you are even having a conversation is like a testament to some kind of something changing progress. saw a kid on uh a TikTok video that blew up and it was uh like 10 or 12 year old white kid. he goes, We're being called soft by the generation of people who was crying about sharing a water fountain with a black person. Right. And I sat there I was like, you did not just say it. Like I didn't even comprehend that. like, I didn't even think about that. That's true. That's true. Every time I look at somebody now of a certain age group and I look up and they complain to me about something. I'm like, What side of that conversation were you on is my question? Yes, that's actually that's a legitimate thing and I'm not trying to bring that into every part of life But it's like if you're gonna complain to me about something that sounds like is on that line And I look at you and I go where were you during that conversation? I know it's kind of like did I hurt your feelings and you're like Did you really think that you were gonna get cooties from drinking out of a water fountain? Did I take out of a man? did I'm going to get beaten when this episode comes out. Dude, that was great. It's like, you know, and when I talk to anybody and I talk about my wife, everybody's like, Oh, is your wife Indian? I'm like, she's whiter than white. Like she's a redheaded white. It was funny. Like I, cause I met her briefly and she was very nice and uh she, uh, I was like, I was like, yeah, all right. Like she was exactly as you described her. Um, and, but it's like, that's the thing. It's like who, Who cares like and that's that's what I say in the end of it, you know, saw a weird you'll make babies I've read she works at Costco the amount of times she comes so she's like I saw I saw a redheaded lady with an Indian person They had a baby and she's like, I'm like how many combos have you seen she goes everything under the Sun It could be brown with red hair. It could be white with brown hair. It could be spotted. It could be polka-dotted You remember that Dr. Seuss book? One fish, two fish, red fish, new fish. Or whatever. was like, there's the one with like the, the, the character that's like, it's got like colored spots all over it. Um, that's the kid you're like, Oh, you're like, all my parents are, I'm mixed. There was a long period of time where I dealt with, um, uh, it wasn't necessarily vitiligo, but it was a kind of a skin issue I dealt with where there was a thing, defencelessly in my body. And so I had like the white spots that would kind of grow over my whole body. And it hit a point to where when I was in eighth grade, I was playing football and the kids looked at me, they're like, dude, what's wrong with your arm? Because like, it was just white. And it was just like spotty. have the same problem. It's all over my body. And so I was like, You know that Michael Jackson disease? It's getting to me too. like for a technical while, the doctors thought that was was kind of occurring until we figured out what was happening. And I'm like, ah, I'm brown again. Finally. You see, I can't say that. I can't be like, I'm white again. Thank God. You already started three squares ahead. Oh my God. Dude, I'm really interested to see what the the listeners think of this episode because I've to me it feels like it's gone really well like it's been funny and like I feel like we're you know, this is this is the thing it's like This is how our brains work. Yes And so even if we're not necessarily talking every minute about neurodivergence We are being neurodivergent every minute we've jumped from one thing to the next and keep branching off but the other person has something else to go on that exact line and it's Again, this whole thing has been very freeing and very happy for the soul in a way, because it's something that I don't feel like we always get to experience or find somebody that can bounce off the same way that we do. Absolutely. And like when people are like, Oh, you're going too fast or this and that with other things, that's like, yeah, I'm not trying to. It's just for some. You better catch up. Hold on because we're going for a fucking ride. I'm like, you don't fucking understand. You're just talking slow. I'm not going fast. You're like, come on, work with me. Yeah, that's like that Eminem line. He's like, it's not that I'm talking too fast. It's that you're listening too slow. I think, I think that's Eminem. Um, but it's like that kind of thing, right? Like where you're just like, get on dude. Let's go. If you're to be on this ride, we're going for it. Like there's going to be, it's going to be a roller coaster. I mean, like, honestly, I have a hard time talking to neurotypical people sometimes because they are so slow and so thoughtful in everything that they're saying. And I'm like, get to the point. Oh my God. Like when you know what they're gonna say, and then you, like, you know. That's a bad habit of mine that I'm actually trying so hard not to do that. Yeah, or I'm trying not to jump, because I'll be making wrong conclusions sometimes too, and it's like, stop doing that, wait for them to speak, but you're like, what are you, you're trying to like, I feel like an AI bot where I'm like listening to, seeing them type, and I'm trying to come up with what the solution is, or what the... makes things for me to already say. it's like, you're supposed to hear them think about it and then go. It's hard to digest information in general, but I think especially when you have like a nerve divergent brain. Yeah. So, um, do you read it all by any chance? So I have been horrible at reading in my life. And the only thing I really read is like comic books, graphic novels, stuff like that. I'm really trying not to go on a tangent. love graphic novels. I spent, years of my life reading graphic novels. Like I never read a comic book, maybe one or two. And then someone told me to um, Brian K Vaughn. He did that, uh, the pride of Baghdad. He did, um um, why the last man? Yes. Yes. He did, um, saga. Yeah. He's, he's a great author. And like, started reading, like I read Pride of Bat. I don't know why I was like, Oh, this looks interesting. It's based on a true story. And then of course, like the animals talk, which is probably not really what happened, but it's based, you know, like during the Iraq war or whatever, the Baghdad zoo was bombed and these, um, animals escaped and, and it's about their story of how they kind of like were rescued and everything. And anyway, um, and then Watchmen. Yes. Like that's like, That is the most dense. That's like, to call it a comic book, it's almost like being belittling. As a comic book fan, I... And I think comic books are like an amazing art form. Medium, yeah. I think that as a comic book fan, a graphic novel to me, or a volume graphic novel, like I consider a lot of them volumes. because it's a condensed form of a comic book. like volume one is like the first 15 or 10 issues or however they do it. And so that's where I finally a graphic novel. It's a broken, it's a more complete comic book in a way. it's the whole story. It's the whole story. It's the visualization. I think that helps a lot too. There was a series that I loved growing up called Aragon, Aragon eldest. Is that one that's like, Dragon on the yes something. Yes, they made a movie. Yeah, they made a really shitty with Jeremy Irons Yes, very shitty film. Do one dude. How does my brain do this? don't know. Yeah, I needed to know that Jeremy Irons was in my movie He was died. Trust me. I love scar. All right when oh, yeah when he was cast as die-hard When he was cast as Alfred in the Snyder cut uh With Ben Affleck's Batman. Oh my god. He's one of my favorite characters in the whole thing Yeah, like oh my god, you're gonna scold the tea like just yelling at a thousand-year-old princess lady, just like, no, no, you're screwing it up. Listen to me as I love that guy so much. Yeah. But, um, I in, after watching that movie, I was like, let me read the second book because someone gave me the first book and I read it I was like, what the fuck happened in the first book that I missed in that movie? Cause it was so bad. And then I went back and I read the first book, like you're supposed to. And I was like, Oh, this, movie was nothing like it was actually supposed to be. And that was terrible. And, um, but by watching the film, it gave me the Idea of what all these characters looked like now even though they described them. I couldn't picture people I couldn't picture their emotions on their faces. So now that I had the faces I put everything else in there So when I saw the character dying of his uncle at the beginning of the book I pictured the guy from the movie when I saw Brom even though they describe him with the beard I pictured Jeremy Irons with the long beard and I picture like the beard of Maine kind of like scar had which described in the book so it's like I did those visual things and it helped me Then read the story and get through everything because I had something to pick to it, which I think graphic novels help, especially with those with some type of neurodivergence or any type of ADHD where you need to, even if you're reading and you're comprehending, your brain has to be thinking about something. attach to the photos and it's like, the idea sticks because you have the picture in your brain. I think about that's absolutely so true. Cause I think about, uh when I think, when I have, when I think about my memories, a lot of the time I'm thinking about the photo or the video of the memory. Is that weird? No, I do the exact same thing. I get that exact same feel. It's it's like I get a, I'm pretending like I'm watching it or I'm reliving that feeling again or seeing it again. It's like, if I look at, um, you know, I get the posters you have kind of, you know, that when you look at that poster, the feeling you got from the movie or from whatever it it brings you that sensation. And you know, when I look at starry night, for example, if they go, it's, it brings out something else in me, I can't describe it, but I know it's a piece of calming sense. And when I was a kid, looked like dread. It almost looked scary to me with that massive tire. As an adult, I look at the whole thing and I go, this is a calm, peaceful town. It is like, so have you ever seen any of his work in person? not yet. Okay. So I went to an exhibit, which is, I went to Amsterdam. I should have gone to the damn Van Gogh museum, but, um they had a Van Gogh exhibit at Mocha or something like that in LA. Um, and you know, it's encased in glass and everything, but you can get close enough to where you don't like, you're not trying to like touch it, but you're looking at it and it's like the, the, there's like a topography almost because it's like very textural. like, one of the ones that I saw, was like him, was like one of his self portraits. I was like, I was like, it's like the paints like slathered on, it's like, Even that is like artful in its own way. It's so cool, man. My aunt has a very similar art style. She did. My aunt's the head of pathology at Dartmouth University, actually. And, um, she went to school for all this stuff before she went to school to be a doctor. She actually went to school to be an artist. And after four years of that, she transferred and became a doctor. And she's like, okay, I wasted, but I didn't think she wasted her talent is so good. Her work and her pieces, she started painting. She's in art galleries and she's not like, sold very expensive paintings to a lot of people too. Now they're like, When do you do this? I use a hobby of mine. I do it for fun. She's had a career. She does everything else, but she loves that painting and like she has very similar, like textural style where you get that 3D kind of image. And I think that's an absolute beautiful kind of thing. And that, yeah, it's all that feel you get from seeing them in person or even just the image of something. Cause even if you get a, you know, a scan or a copy of it, you don't see the texture, but you still feel something about it. So I feel like it just amplifies that feeling when you get to see the original too. Well, it's kind of like if you watch someone make something or watch a band perform live, you know, like there's something about that where it's like visceral. Yeah. You know, like you feel it, like as opposed to just listening to a song on the radio or something. Like when I went to see Nine Inch Nails the most recent time, cause I've seen them three times, um, and they were with Boys Noise and it was just like, they did this thing where they would do like the more electronic stuff with boys noise who's a DJ. And then they would do like the more band related stuff. They had two different stages in the arena. So they would move between both stages ah without skipping a beat. Like the music was so like always going. wasn't like there was like these long, you know, drawn out transfer moments or anything. Um, and it was just like, Oh my God, like it's, it's just the ex it's really just about experience. It's about You know the feeling man. We've really covered a lot of shit. Wow. And then I look at the time and you probably got to get going, huh? I mean, I got a few more. actually want to bring it back really fast. Oh yeah. whole reading thing. Yeah. I said that was you're like, cause I'm learning to read. Well, he's not wrong. All right. It took me. I have to, I I'll be honest actually about this part. This is something I'm a little self conscious about, but I will be honest and quite frank about this. My, you've seen me type. All right. You've seen me spell. I can't spell sometimes at my My speaking skills are there. My verbal skills, I got that. When it comes to reading and writing, that's where I definitely know I struggle and that's where I struggled growing up. So now I'm actually that part of- you speak more than one language growing up? My first language was Punjabi. ah I always wondered that because that a lot of times it like messes with people because your brain is like constantly processing two languages at the same time. I don't and it's weird because like, yeah, Punjabi is very natural for me to understand. don't speak as much of it as I would like to speak. Yeah. I lost the speaking. I still can. My pronunciations are rough and something I got to practice, but I don't practice enough, but I can understand it very well. Hindi, Punjabi, two different languages. I can understand those perfectly. um I do have friends of mine who speak Urdu, but we can even have like good decent conversation. So it's like, I can speak part of the language and I can understand it. But yeah, reading has always been something that's difficult for me. Retention has always been difficult. graphic novels, comics, easy with the photos. Just reading a page, understanding it is so hard. You just look at the page over over again. Exactly. You're like, I'm not even reading. And I'm not even understanding what I'm reading. know I saw recently, and it was on my brain, and I saw something and it was like, hey, here's three book recommendations for you to understand how to just navigate through a day or navigate in the world and understand how people are or how humanity is in moments, which Again, with neurodivergence and being non-typical at times, I feel like I'm doing something where I'm like, why don't people understand this? Well, again, it may be something I feel is very easy, other people don't. And I want to be able to understand where I'm coming from then to be able to explain things or talk better to everybody, because that matters. A book that was very influential as a kid, ironically enough, I read this in fifth grade and I understood it at the time, but it was uh Larry King, How to Talk to Anyone, Anywhere, Anytime. This was a book for adults that my dad and my cousin told me to read. And in fifth grade, I read the book and so at fifth grade you were probably what? Like 11. I was very, it was 10 years old. Yeah. 10 when I read that and I was, I wasn't really shy and I was uncomfortable to talk to people. would walk up to strangers and I would make friends. I used to be a very outgoing person and then Later in my life, I started developing the anxieties that I had and I was like, huh, where did that kid go that was so outgoing and so hopeful feel like that too, dude. I feel that big time. That's why when I found a book recently, it's called The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity. And the reason that I found that really interesting is just the way they talk about it and the way they go over certain things was very amusing to me. And it kind of hit a moment where I'm like, holy crap, I kind of retained what I read in that excerpt online. Yeah. That's that's strange because it normally doesn't happen to me. So I immediately bought the book It was only ten bucks and I started reading a couple pages every day and I I feel a little bit more accomplished and I'm like, well, I'm understanding kind of what I'm reading again I'm retaining that information which is really important as it's just a skill to have and I feel like we've lost some of that now and this is one of the things that you know, I think it's important for anyone to understand that if you feel uncomfortable with something that you feel like you're just not good enough at or is skill that you wish you had. Go out and try it. oh Give it another shot again or look for a way for you to get into it comfortably that makes sense. I wanted to get back into reading and comprehension so I found a small book that's about 100 pages and I challenged myself to read at least three to five pages every day. Now got a timeline of when it's getting done and I feel a little bit better about that and I'm understanding more so if there's one thing I wanted anyone to take away from this it's... You know feel comfortable with who you are understand that you're not alone with anything and if you want to get better at anything then Just give it a shot. That's why I only date girls that like dudes with big dicks every time because I just I'm trying to live up to it you and me bro We're in it together. Oh boy. Yeah, not good. Not good. Take it back All right. Well, this has been really good man. I really appreciate you coming out and being on the show and It's been a really good conversation And like fun. I really appreciate you having me over and having me on. Yeah, absolutely. I'm looking forward to seeing what the reaction will be from the fan base. And again, dude, if you want, I would love to do this again sometime. Oh, Yeah. All right, folks, remember to look us up on Facebook. That's why do you say you don't sound autistic on Facebook? um I also want to thank, you know, we have so many people that listen from all over the United States, all over the world. We have listeners from so many different places that I am blown away at times by how many little nuggets of listeners that we have. uh The US and um I think Canada and Australia are like the places where the most people are from, but either way, thank you for listening. Thanks for sharing the show. someone made a comment the other day and I have to give them a shout out. Uh, I have to look it up cause someone was like, Hey, uh, welcome back dude. Um, or something like that on Spotify. And I was like, Oh man, this is awesome. Like, cause a lot of people, people just put the stars there and they'll like give us like a good rating, but they won't necessarily say anything. And it's like, I want to hear from you. And so join the Facebook group, join the conversation, um, listen to the show, share the show, check me out on, um, tick talk. That's a. Autistic dude 42. Do you have anything you want to plug? Do you have any, any personal stuff that you like do or want to share or anything? I got nothing for you guys yet, but if I do come on next time, then I might have something then. Oh boy. Oh man. I'm nervous. You should be. Okay. All right. Um, I have a new song for y'all and I'll be playing that right about now. Thanks for listening folks, I will be back.