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We're safe, for now. We spend a bittersweet evening with our friends and family, enjoying our time together while we devise a bat-brained plan to infiltrate Castle Vindorn.
We are PBOP - a TTRPG actual-play podcast where we pretend to be other People! Join us for, hilarious improv, immersive storytelling, and an original score to set the mood. Subscribe now and adventure along with us - for excitement, for love, and for giggles!
Less time on Cursebreaker. The boy did it. Snack had his showdown with Idris over a game of hora karak. Even without knowing the rules, even without my guidance, Snack whipped his pompous golden ass. He's now the proud owner of a golden temple somewhere out east and Idris has no choice but to respect the violet flight.
Speaker 1:The rest of the party had to fight for their lives out on the rails. Orzo and his league of vampire bats followed close behind, but the party fought back. Orzo's body was destroyed. We made it to the depot and Rumble's resistance is about to start a riot. Moja Riz, we're coming for you.
Tim / GM:The 5 of you are in a retrofitted place of worship, looking over some old battle plans. A heist to secure all of you back from Orzo. Looking across this map, you can see where they planned to get in, how they planned to use the rails to escape, how they planned to steal Orzo's cape out of his own quarters while he was out on business. And they succeeded. Nobody died, some people got hurt, but everyone's here, including the 5 of you.
Tim / GM:Rumble has showed you the extensive mapping they've done to plan out their next moves, but But they don't exactly know what your capabilities are or where you all fit into this. They just know that they needed you.
Speaker 3:How'd they know that?
Tim / GM:Because of Emery and because of Ally and Andrew.
Speaker 3:Emery wasn't like, this is Uli. She has magic and punches really strong. He was like, you need her. Right?
Tim / GM:It was more like Emery said, they'll be able to figure out what to do.
Speaker 3:And 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Rumble planned a
Tara / Journey:heist and we got out alive.
John / Doran:Hey. Pretty good.
Tim / GM:A little bit of Ollie in the cart.
Speaker 3:A little bit of Holly also in a cart.
Speaker 1:A little bit of Tibio. Ain't no
Tara / Journey:cart.
Tim / GM:Meandering about these halls, you've seen just about everyone you've met in a long time. Uli, both of your parents are here, actually. Your dad is keeping up a non stop banjo set. In the odd event that Orzo or Mojo would find himself near here, he'd be paralyzed by the music.
Hannah / Eryn:Uh-huh. Cool. I thought he was just really bored.
Tim / GM:It's their second line of defense after the bright sunstones that they had lodged into the mine tunnel to get here, fending off as many vampires as possible. That's
Hannah / Eryn:what that was. I wonder why it was glowing. It wasn't just me.
John / Doran:So you could charge your crystals.
Hannah / Eryn:In the sunlight at night.
Tim / GM:This is effectively downtime. The 5 of you are free to, contact anyone that you know or talk with each other.
Hannah / Eryn:Quick question. At the end of last episode, the trees were grown in the valley. Yep. In LaValley. Yep.
Hannah / Eryn:Do we know about that or anyone in this cave know about that?
Tim / GM:Yeah. You all saw it through some windows that have been briefly opened.
Tara / Journey:But we don't know why. Right.
Speaker 3:Oh, no. We don't don't know why that happened.
Tara / Journey:Who knows why and the rest of us don't know why?
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. So I want to talk about
Tara / Journey:that now.
Tim / GM:Okay. So the 5 of you are still around this large round table now, by yourselves. There's a little bit of sunlight spilling in from outside still through a window that had been open to look outside.
Hannah / Eryn:It's so nice to be back again with all of you. What was with the plants that grew out of the ravine we went over?
Speaker 3:It's it was so weird.
Hannah / Eryn:I mean sudden. It wasn't a forest, and then it was. Was that one of your spells to you?
Speaker 7:No. But I would like to vibe check Uli.
Hannah / Eryn:Our Uli ness, telling a fib
Speaker 7:being very suspicious.
Speaker 3:I'm not being suspicious. I don't know what I did or did not do. Uh-huh. So hypothetically, like, if someone were to throw an acorn into a ravine
Speaker 7:An acorn.
Speaker 3:From a weird old druid man from a while ago.
Hannah / Eryn:When are you meeting old druid man?
Speaker 7:Wait. Is this the man Hypothetically. Who was on the road when we were on our way to Tildrey?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. It was like it was like him, and and it's when we met the curse breaker, and and we had soup. You remember the soup?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, yeah. I do remember the soup.
Speaker 3:And you shared your beer. Yes. Well, the old man gave me an acorn.
Hannah / Eryn:Wait. Did you were there instructions with the acorn? Like, did he tell you what it was gonna do?
Speaker 3:Can I do a history check of my own brain? Sure. I don't remember.
Speaker 7:Didn't he say Spread my seed.
Tim / GM:Oh, gosh.
Speaker 3:That's a that's an 8.
Hannah / Eryn:To remember?
Tim / GM:Unfortunately, what Tibia said is pretty familiar.
Speaker 3:Yeah. He said he, like, told me to take his seed and then spread it across the world.
Speaker 8:You mean old man Dieter?
Speaker 3:What?
Speaker 8:I have it written down right here. We met Augustus the curse breaker.
Speaker 3:Dieter?
Speaker 8:Dieter men the elf was spreading his seed across the countryside, every corner of the realm.
Speaker 3:Yes. I think that's what it was. I don't know. But he did say to throw it into Vindorin.
Tim / GM:Bert's, like, thumbing through the pages of his giant book laid out on the table.
Speaker 8:Well, there's more shade now.
Tim / GM:So
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. I wonder if that'll be a help or a hindrance. Also, does it look like it's still growing? Holly's, like, trying to peek out the cave opening to see. It's probably How large
Tara / Journey:is this tree?
Tim / GM:Not a single tree, but several, actually.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, yeah. He said it's like a forest.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You can see a veritable canopy that has started in this canyon that is reaching up towards where the rails used to
Tara / Journey:be. Wow.
Speaker 3:I do I do recall somebody telling us that Bindorn used to be a very lush place, so I just restored it like a true hero. It is beautiful. Yeah.
Speaker 8:The place did need a little sprucing up. So good job, Lily.
Hannah / Eryn:Hopefully, we didn't, like, magically destroy the ecosystem that was here or make it any worse. What ecosystem? Well, now all these plants need water.
Speaker 3:Crabs. Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:There's already a forest fire from the lightning and the dryness. No. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 3:I'm just saying. I didn't do anything wrong.
Hannah / Eryn:So Maybe it'll help us on our way back.
Speaker 7:Maybe. We don't know how we are getting back or where exactly we are going. They haven't let us in on their plans yet.
Tara / Journey:Yeah.
Speaker 8:Yeah. So who exactly was the brains behind this plan to get us out of here?
Tim / GM:Ali goes, it was our plan. Well, my plan.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh.
Tim / GM:Andrew kinda steps in behind and says, our plan. Emery steps in behind them and goes, our plan. Okay. All 3 of us.
Speaker 8:Anybody else back there? Okay.
Speaker 3:But what about Rumble and Piezo?
Tim / GM:They're gonna need more help now. They were helped before. Sure. They I mean, they got us in. They got the maps.
Tim / GM:They smuggled half of us into Vindorn. I mean, it's hard enough to get bidet up here.
Speaker 8:And they didn't even know us.
Speaker 3:I mean, we're pretty well known.
Tim / GM:Ali says, Emery made a pretty compelling case, actually.
Speaker 7:Oh, Emery. That's so nice.
Speaker 8:I'd love to hear more about that someday.
Tim / GM:Well, she says, we saw him floating face down in a river.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Tim / GM:He wasn't conscious at the time, and we were actually fleeing Vindorn to start a family. And we didn't know where to go. And so we helped Emery and he said he knew some people in Tilderie and we ran into damn near everybody else that you guys knew along the way. You know, we found Dor. We met Law.
Tim / GM:Met our fair share of spirits sent from Orzo and vampire assassins and curses. Ugh. And the elephant scorpion. And Andrew goes, oh, the elephant scorpion.
Speaker 7:Elephant scorpion. That is so cool.
Tim / GM:Andrey's just shaking his head side to side. He's like, you do not you do not wanna go through that.
Hannah / Eryn:It doesn't sound that That must have been one of the puzzles we skipped.
Speaker 8:What a colorful cast of characters.
Tim / GM:Anyway, suffice it to say, it all would have been a lot easier with all of you around. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I know.
Speaker 8:Sorry. We were enjoying our gem time.
Tim / GM:Ali says, we kept hearing about you and how much hope everyone lost when they lost you. And everybody seemed exhausted, so we decided to help out where we could a little bit at a time, but we got a plan together.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, why don't you tell us about this plan, and we'll see how we can help.
Tim / GM:Well, phase 1, call it a success. Phase 2, here we go. And she lays out a large parchment across the table and just kind of unfurls it. Oh.
Hannah / Eryn:Something about the best laid plans of mice and men. Right? Mhmm. Yeah. Having been a mouse, I feel like I can speak to this.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Mice. This is the part where Rumble walks in, holding a steaming cup of beer.
Tim / GM:He likes it hot.
Tara / Journey:Ew. Oh.
Tim / GM:He sets it next to the map on the table and says, so we're going to have to break this down into phases. First part is just going to be getting there. We're gonna have to cross the canyon, which is, he looks out the window, different now. We might be able to use the canopy. I I don't know.
Tim / GM:My previous plan was straight down the middle, and he points to, a long covered bridge. Holly, you had experienced this once from the inside when you first saw the castle of Vindorne. There's a huge stone covered bridge that leads from the city to the castle of Vindorn. That's really the only safe way across the canyon that Rumble knows of anymore.
Speaker 3:And it's still intact and
Tim / GM:Still intact.
Speaker 3:Surrounded by trees. Yeah.
Tim / GM:A little overgrown now.
Speaker 8:No roller coasters involved in this part of the plan. Right?
Tim / GM:That ship has sailed. You, didn't leave much behind.
Speaker 8:Oh, right. Right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Holly. Tone it down next time.
Hannah / Eryn:No can do, Uli.
Tim / GM:After that, it's the courtyard. Not much there except for a big iron door. I hope you have ways around doors.
Speaker 8:Doors. Doors.
Speaker 3:Doors.
Speaker 7:Is it looked?
Tim / GM:It's barred with iron. Heavy iron.
Speaker 8:Heavy iron.
Tim / GM:The doors themselves take multiple people to open.
Speaker 3:How, how thick are they?
Tim / GM:Between all the wood and metal and almost a foot thick, I'd say.
Speaker 3:Okay. That's fine.
Speaker 8:No sort of side entrance?
Tim / GM:There are, but I'm apprehensive about taking to the skies.
Speaker 8:Oh, that's a sky entrance.
Tim / GM:It would just be higher up. There's only one main entrance from the ground. We'd have to find the balcony to land on.
Hannah / Eryn:What about, like, where does the poo poo pee pee come out?
Speaker 8:Holly, we've been over this.
Speaker 1:Well, so
Hannah / Eryn:He silenced Excuse you, Bert.
Tim / GM:He silenced all of you he silences all of you and points to Holly, and he says, that's a good question. Being that they're vampires, there's very little of that going on.
Hannah / Eryn:Even better.
Tim / GM:Keep this in mind. They don't need much. They've got enough blood stored up to keep themselves happy.
Speaker 7:So if the sewers are not in use since they are vampires, they may not be as impenetrable.
Speaker 8:Do vampires not poop?
Speaker 3:Where does the blood go when they're done with it?
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. These are important questions we can ask.
John / Doran:Liaison. Yes.
Hannah / Eryn:Yes. I think the sewers are a legitimate consideration than going through foot thick iron doors.
Speaker 7:And it is the main entrance for everyone. So it will likely be
Hannah / Eryn:Heavily guarded.
Speaker 7:Have eyes on it.
Speaker 3:I have the shaper's chisel that could be useful for something.
Tim / GM:What's that?
Speaker 3:It gives temporary life to a touched object. A mass of stone, wood, or metal up to a medium sized creature becomes simple humanoid or animal shape of your choice. It gains sentience for a minute. The end of the episode.
Tara / Journey:You you bring the door to life, and it's like life.
Speaker 3:Well, I don't know exactly how like, does it have to be a human sized shape of metal?
Tim / GM:You could probably.
Speaker 3:I, like, take part of the door away
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And make it like a a little door with legs, and it goes hee.
John / Doran:What's the most door what's the most door shaped animal we can think of?
Hannah / Eryn:A stingray.
Speaker 7:I think we are getting a little bit. To love topic.
Hannah / Eryn:What doesn't
Speaker 3:If if I made, like, a big person shape and it just went goodbye and left a person sized hole
Hannah / Eryn:through the door. But there's still heavily guarded problem there. So I love your I love your creativity.
Speaker 3:Say I can use it wherever. It doesn't have to be the front door. Oh, okay.
Speaker 8:We know a guy named Dor.
Hannah / Eryn:I do. Alright.
Speaker 8:That help?
Hannah / Eryn:So once we go through the sewers, what's the next goal?
Tim / GM:The problem with the sewers, we don't know them as well. The engineers that might have known them have sided with Horso.
Hannah / Eryn:It can't be that complex, can it?
Speaker 7:Does this plan hinge on the door?
John / Doran:We've hit our pun quota.
Speaker 3:John is, like, we've got, like, 20
John / Doran:episodes. That's that's that's coming from me.
Tim / GM:Yeah. No.
John / Doran:That's that's brilliant though. Yeah.
Speaker 8:Yeah. We
Tim / GM:could try the sewers, but I I don't know what that connection looks like if he'll even get us where we need to go.
Speaker 3:I mean, we could recon.
Speaker 8:I might be able to map out the sewers with one of my magic eyes.
Hannah / Eryn:If only I had Sal, I could send him in there. I wonder where he is.
Tim / GM:Emery kinda leans back and looks at, Rumble, and he says, this is the kind of stuff I was talking about. Just let him simmer for, like, 2 hours.
Hannah / Eryn:Hey, Emery. You haven't seen you haven't seen a little little white ceramic cat anywhere?
Tim / GM:You mean, Sal, your cat?
Speaker 7:Yeah.
Tim / GM:No. I haven't seen him since the cave in, actually. That's kinda the one that we couldn't get back.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, no. Sorry. Holly's gonna try to just see if she can see through his eyes.
Tim / GM:Holly, you focus in for a while, and you start to see some, like, wavy lines. And it might just be your vision playing tricks on you. But then that focuses in a little more, and you can see it's tall grass waving in the breeze. And you've seen this area before. It's just a little hard to remember.
Tim / GM:You see a field and a small ring of trees and a small pond not far from that. It looks like some people have used this for a campsite at some point.
Tara / Journey:Some people named Holly, Bert, Lily. Do you own snack? Perhaps.
Speaker 8:What a coincidence.
Hannah / Eryn:Sorry. I'm not doing this while you guys are continuing to talk.
John / Doran:Sorry. Do I have the lamp still? I can't remember.
Tim / GM:Okay. Everyone has all their possessions back. K.
Speaker 8:Except some.
Speaker 3:Yep.
John / Doran:I do like the sewer idea. We could all hop into the lamp except for one of us and crawl up the sewer place.
Speaker 8:Are you volunteering to be not that one?
John / Doran:I am much too muscular, Bert. I could not fit. We need someone who's, in snack, looks down at Bert and more Tibio, you know what I'm referring to, right?
Speaker 7:I have no idea.
Speaker 8:I'm going to feign ignorance as well.
John / Doran:You do you don't know what small small is? It's it's not me. I'm very big, Uli. You know what I say.
Speaker 3:Yeah. You're a little too big now, but, I think he wants you to climb up the poop chute.
John / Doran:Yes. That's what I said. Yes.
Speaker 8:Well, we can negotiate this part later. What's phase 3 once we make it into the castle?
Tim / GM:We're gonna have to navigate to the throne room. That's where this ends. Well, around there.
Speaker 8:What's so special about the throne room?
Tim / GM:You may have heard by now. It's, well, two things. There's a great pipe organ in there. That's gonna keep you all deafened. No way to communicate.
Speaker 8:Well, that doesn't sound good.
Tim / GM:Secondly, behind the pipe organ in the cavern, there's a giant howling chasm. A pool of white extends eternally.
Hannah / Eryn:It's magic. I I've seen it.
Speaker 8:That sounds like what Tibio and you saw in that bone cave, the second bone cave.
Speaker 7:Yes. My parents said that behind the throne literally behind the throne, there is a massive tear in the weave and it must be shut and it will shut all the other smaller tears.
Speaker 3:So you and I have to get there.
Tara / Journey:We all have to get there.
Speaker 7:We all have to get there. It will take all of us. It is not like the other ones. It is massive.
Hannah / Eryn:I I think we're all it's gonna need all of us or as many people as hopefully can make it.
Speaker 8:And Orzo's spirit and probably an army of other spirits is gonna be there waiting for us. Is that right?
Tim / GM:That's undoubtedly true.
Speaker 3:And a lot of vampires. Hi.
Hannah / Eryn:Do we have a map of the castle in front of us right now?
Tim / GM:Yeah. He kinda turns it to face you.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly is gonna look at it, and she's trying to locate where, like, the organ main hall is Mhmm. On the castle map drawing. Mhmm. I mean, how clear are the rooms?
Tim / GM:So, this the main part of the castle is laid out fairly symmetrically. So So if you were to come in the main gates, it would actually be a straight shot through a few large chambers to the throne room in the very back. There's a lot of, like, adjacent, branching hallways and things, but all of those, you really don't have to take as long as you can take this main central road.
Hannah / Eryn:And if you were to look at the castle from a bird's eye view, what's on the backside of the throne room? What's on the adjoining wall? Or is there anything?
Tim / GM:Logically, that would be like a solid rock foundation since the castle is built into a mountainside. Mhmm. By an outsider's perception, it looks like you're just kind of hitting the side of the mountain, but the reality is there's a cave back there.
Speaker 3:I see. Are vampires considered undead?
Speaker 8:Yes. I think the next question to ask is, what does Orzo expect us to do?
Speaker 7:Probably go through the main door and go right to the draw room, and then he can destroy us
Speaker 3:and probably try and fight him with music, and he knows you're coming.
Speaker 7:Yes.
Speaker 3:So he'll probably do something to stop you from being able to.
Tara / Journey:I think that just means we need to start a band. Awesome.
John / Doran:Woah.
Tara / Journey:Tivity, I did not say that. Okay.
Speaker 8:So what do we do to trick the bastard? Make him think we're up to something else?
Hannah / Eryn:I think we need to have a decoy, and I know it's asking a lot. And Holly looks at mumble, rumble. Holly looks at rumble, and she says, we need a decoy attack to draw the attention off of
Speaker 7:us. A distraction.
Tim / GM:He kinda looks around. He's like, yeah. Decoy. Wonder where we could find a decoy.
Speaker 3:Well, I'm I'm getting deja vu.
John / Doran:I jumbled. This is how your brother died. You know, it's a decoy for us.
Speaker 7:He was already dead.
John / Doran:Then we talked about our plan while he was dying, and then we decided to attack. Yes.
Tim / GM:What what do Dundas' mean to you?
Hannah / Eryn:No. It's not that. It's that you lead resistance. You lead armies.
Tim / GM:What? My brother Humble leads a hotel.
Speaker 8:He made an army of soup for us.
Hannah / Eryn:What if we had some sort of distraction outside the front as if they were trying to break in? I'm not sure if we can get volunteers for that. And then we try to find a backdoor.
Speaker 3:Don't forget I also have seaming and can make us look like anybody.
Hannah / Eryn:That may come in handy. Kobalts again?
Tim / GM:Rumble kinda taps a finger on the table and he says, Glamrs are going to be hard with them.
Speaker 3:He he can see us coming. He can be more prepared to stop us.
John / Doran:I can fly really fast though, Uli.
Speaker 8:What if that's the distraction?
Speaker 3:Fast dragon?
Speaker 7:A large dragon?
Speaker 8:Show someone flying up to the top of the castle, it's gotta be us. Right? We wouldn't be stupid enough to walk through the front door.
John / Doran:Yes. Talons full of bodies, and then I'll come crashing through, and it's a distraction, and it's not the real attack. Yes. Yes.
Hannah / Eryn:How much do we think Mocha is going to defend this castle? Forever? Could we draw him out?
Tim / GM:I think if he's really scared, he's not going to leave the throne room.
Speaker 8:He must know he's, lost control over the other vampires in town, doesn't
Tim / GM:he? I think so. I don't know exactly what he's got planned behind closed doors. Orzo's dead. We all know that now.
Tim / GM:The body is gone. We're all wondering who's next. Who's going to take his place.
Speaker 7:Will Mocha try and inhabit a new body?
Tim / GM:Without question.
Speaker 3:Oh. Another vampire, probably,
Speaker 7:of a similar lineage.
Speaker 3:Piazo? It
Tim / GM:could be Piezo. That's why he can't go himself.
Speaker 7:So he has to stay away in a place that is protected Here.
Speaker 3:Piazza, was there anyone close to you in rank?
Tim / GM:A a bat detaches from the ceiling, poofs into Pieso.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry. What was that?
Speaker 3:Is there anyone close to you in rank that we should be looking out for in case of possession?
Speaker 9:Good question.
Speaker 1:But, no. As far as I know, they had been executed or died of natural causes or died of opening a door when they shouldn't have.
Speaker 3:A lot of insider knowledge on that.
Speaker 1:It happens to the best
Speaker 9:of us. Sunlight is a son of a bitch.
Speaker 7:So is it likely that Mojo would find a lesser vampire to inhabit, or would he prefer to stay in his spirit form?
Tim / GM:Emery says, I know from experience these things can't live in their spirit form for too long. He was taking a risk even coming after you just now.
Hannah / Eryn:What if we just portaled in there
Speaker 3:and went for it? I would have to assume he has, like, wards up for that.
Tim / GM:Rumble's kind of nodding along with you.
Hannah / Eryn:Like, but I could portal, right above onto the balcony or the roof.
Speaker 3:What about the Weave?
Hannah / Eryn:Trying to teleport through the Weave? Yeah. I think I've only really been able to sense you all, because I know you so well. It's not in the same, I guess, when I'm reaching out. It's it's like I know who you are.
Hannah / Eryn:You know? I know that Snack loves hot cocoa, and I know Bully fights with her brothers, but it's all in in love. And, you know, I know you guys, and so I just don't it's not like I know all vampires in Vindorn. So
Speaker 8:I'm definitely gonna try scrying on Orzo before the day's out. That'll give us a little bit of lay of the land at least.
Speaker 7:If we attempt a portal, will they know? Will they able will they be able to tell?
Tim / GM:Rumble doesn't take his eyes off the table when he tells you. Even the most rudimentary of wards will let you know when somebody's interfering. That's going to be the first thing. But they know we're coming anyway. How we get there, that's the important part.
Speaker 7:It needs to all happen at once. It cannot be tested. Correct.
Tim / GM:This is a one shot, and we're done.
Speaker 3:So no plan b?
Tim / GM:I'm afraid not.
Speaker 7:Will scrying alert them?
Speaker 8:It might. But like I said, I don't think there's any way Orzo doesn't. Now we're up to something.
Tim / GM:At least make sure you're alone in a room we don't care about when you do it. We don't know what could go wrong.
Speaker 8:Oh, sure. And Casey can peer back somehow. Alright, Rumble. Well, if you and everybody else are going to be part of this assault, do you have any sort of way to protect yourself from these spirits or the vampires? I mean, the people who are going with us is the distraction, if that is part of the plan.
Speaker 8:We bring the strongest people with us, and we could just be bringing a strong host for one of their spirits.
Tim / GM:That's true. And I'm sure there would be people that would volunteer for it, but he kinda, like, looks out the door a little bit and kinda, like, sees if there's anybody in the hallway, and he says, it's certain death.
Speaker 8:Well, it doesn't have to be. We have some No.
Hannah / Eryn:We have someone that can't die. B'Day.
Speaker 8:I don't think that's true. That well.
Speaker 3:Like, he he won't die.
Hannah / Eryn:He can be our Trojan donkey. Oh my god.
John / Doran:Petey, come forth. It is I smack speaking with you.
Tim / GM:You all hear this, like, shitty, like, copper bell clinking from, like, 500 feet away. Yeah.
Speaker 8:Good. Good. But,
John / Doran:hey, I bought you a better bell. Why are you still wearing that one? Can you hear me now?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Hello, everyone.
Hannah / Eryn:And Holly pats them on my head.
John / Doran:But, hey. Do you wish to join the onslaught upon Moja and to close the rift to the underworld? This is what you are born to do, I believe.
Tim / GM:Is this what you wish for me?
John / Doran:But, hey, you are not a violet. You are my humble servant, but also my friend. It is up to you. Is this how you wish to proceed?
Tim / GM:Mhmm. Snack, I owe a debt to you that I have long pondered how I might repay it. If this is my opportunity, I would be overjoyed.
John / Doran:Wonderful bidet. I would have it no other way than for you to be by my side.
Speaker 7:Bidet, you should know that there is a very high chance of your death.
Tim / GM:Doubt it. Never happened before.
Speaker 7:Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:I told you.
Speaker 8:That was a fast answer.
Speaker 3:He has armor. Right? Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:We gave him some armor.
Tara / Journey:Guys can't understand Bidet.
Tim / GM:Yeah. True.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, shoot. Sorry. I forget every time
Tara / Journey:because I wanna talk to him.
John / Doran:Everyone, Badeh has spoken with me and, he is joining the onslaught. Hooray. Yes. He would be at my side and, we may still need others. Perhaps you all still need to help, but we do have bidet.
Speaker 3:Cool.
Tim / GM:So this is the distraction.
Speaker 7:You guys
Speaker 3:are leaving the distraction to a donkey?
Hannah / Eryn:Moja, unless bidet has another idea. Moja Orzo, he's obsessed with living forever pure life?
Speaker 8:That's true. He he wants to solve the riddle of immortality. And who has solved it? What? But our friend, Bade.
Hannah / Eryn:Wait. Right? Isn't that what Orzo Moja's interested in?
Speaker 8:Or he said to me when we were in the gym. He wants to end all suffering. He wants to reform the world.
Speaker 3:I mean, he already figured that out. Not really. He came back from the dead.
John / Doran:This is a wonderful distraction.
Speaker 7:This is a body that cannot die.
John / Doran:Yeah.
Speaker 7:This is different. Yeah. Maybe I'm I'm not saying that I think that offering a gift donkey to this madman is a good idea, but it may be a bit of a distraction because it is confusing.
Speaker 3:Great idea. Give give the evil spirit an immortal body to possess.
Speaker 7:An immortal donkey.
Speaker 3:And then we'll have to fight bidet and then have to kill him. Okay?
Speaker 7:I don't think that he will be tempted.
Speaker 8:Bert Bert covers bidet's ears and says, I don't think we need to worry about Orzo possessing Bidet.
Speaker 3:I'm worried about it.
Speaker 8:I mean, look at him.
Speaker 7:But He
Speaker 8:barely was able to walk into this
Speaker 3:room. I mean, I don't think he'll believe that he's immortal.
Speaker 7:But but to Holly's point, what if Snek, the new violet dragon, comes to Moja with an offering of an immortal being, unspecified? Immortal being.
Speaker 3:I could I could cast saving on him.
Speaker 7:You could and make it look like a person
Speaker 3:or a unicorn. What's my original thought
Speaker 8:about that? Strap a
Speaker 3:comb to this. I think a person is a better idea.
John / Doran:I'm ready for this plan. Well, actually, I mean, you know, a long, rest. But I am besides that, I am ready for this plan.
Speaker 8:I'm loving this so far. Who else is joining our assault? Emery, you're with us. Right?
Tim / GM:Yeah. I think Dave said he was good to go too.
Speaker 8:Alright, Dave.
Speaker 7:Was there anyone else?
Tim / GM:Ellie and Andrew kinda look at each other, and they look at the floor and then look at you and they say, sorry. We, we're really dead set in that whole family thing.
Speaker 8:No. No.
Speaker 7:No. You have done more than enough.
Speaker 3:Totally just saved us from certain death so that we could save everyone else.
Speaker 7:I think that this is a insane plan, but it's made work.
John / Doran:Yes. Of course.
Hannah / Eryn:I think it's the distraction we needed, and hopefully, we at least get him interested in whatever the hell is going on with this donkey. Okay. Well, I need to rest. I don't know about all of you.
Speaker 3:I don't feel prepared. What if he's not distracted by the donkey?
John / Doran:Oh, he will be, Uli.
Hannah / Eryn:I think I think
Speaker 3:you need to distract him very well if he's not.
John / Doran:Snek will do a wonderful job.
Speaker 7:He will also be a dragon.
John / Doran:Stibio, don't say too loud and kiss they are spying on us. I don't think Moshe knows that Snack is dragon. Does he?
Speaker 7:I don't know.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, and then I also think with the sound and once we get in through the portal, we need to make sure we have the tea, so we can communicate. We have the magic earmuffs that I made in the moss cave, and then just a plan to try to overpower his sound and then
Speaker 7:Decostroy the organ, maybe?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Is that gonna be an issue for casting?
Tim / GM:Yeah. You'll still be able to cast. No problem.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 7:Okay.
Speaker 3:Fight sound with sound, and then everyone meet us at the Weave as soon as possible. But we can get a start on it. Mhmm.
Speaker 8:Well, as far as plans to end a world ending threat, it's not the worst I've ever heard.
Speaker 3:Unless it all goes wrong and the world ends.
Tim / GM:But I could help. Rumble kinda looks up at Emory and says, well, this is, I suppose, why we rescued all of you, so we're going to go with it. He's just anxiously looking up at each of you, like, we're we're betting the farm with a donkey.
Speaker 8:We're extremely confident.
Speaker 3:Before we go to bed, could I do something? Sure.
Tim / GM:But if you have a lot
Speaker 8:of things I wanna do
Tim / GM:before Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly goes immediately to bed after laying out her crystals.
Tim / GM:The outline of your body around you?
Speaker 3:I would like to go find my parents.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. Your dad is still, plucking near the, entrance of the tunnel. He's, trading off shifts with Gaspar to keep the music going this whole time. He just sees you come up and says, hey, Fireball.
Speaker 3:Hey. Mom around?
Tim / GM:Yeah. He kinda, like, leans over and and nods his head one direction. You can see your mom is, like, teaching somebody how to pour a brew without creating too much foam.
Speaker 3:The thing I wanted to do, I need to go talk to Dave first.
Tim / GM:K.
Speaker 3:Sorry. I'll be right back.
Tim / GM:She doesn't even look at you. He goes, okay.
Speaker 3:I'll go find Dave.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You find Dave. You can he is cutting potatoes out of like, as an anxious reaction. Something he used to do a lot back in Lamplight, so he's just kinda whittling away.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Hey, Dave. Can I get that ring quick?
Tim / GM:Oh, this one?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Did you have that on your
Tim / GM:No. I Uh-huh. It was just while I was cutting potatoes, I put it on.
Speaker 3:It's on your on
Speaker 8:your finger?
Tim / GM:It's called the ring finger. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Right. But it was the left one? Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Since we're going into battle together, I would like that back, Please?
Tim / GM:Makes sense. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Cool. Thank you. Talk to you later. Bye.
Speaker 3:I go back to my dad.
Tim / GM:K. He looks up and says, hey there, Fireball.
Hannah / Eryn:Hey again. Can you do me a
Speaker 3:favor and, like, try to attune to this?
Tim / GM:Sure. What is it? Standard tuning or drop d?
Speaker 8:Or Yeah.
Speaker 7:Oh, no.
Speaker 3:Here. I'll show You just, you just focus on it for a few minutes.
Tim / GM:Okay. He, grabs the ring, and he's, like, staring at it. Cool. Oh, I felt something click. Was that it?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Okay. Now just, like, I'm gonna go over here, and you unfocus your eyes and try and look for me without looking.
Tim / GM:Okay. Oh, shoot. No.
Speaker 3:I have to, sorry, grab it and I put it on.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. You you
Tim / GM:put it on and he goes, oh, strange.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So, listen, this could be bad. So if things go bad, just look for the ring and bring my body home.
Tim / GM:Really?
Speaker 3:No. It just it's like a worst case scenario.
Tim / GM:No need to be so morose.
Speaker 3:I mean
Tim / GM:I promise you're not gonna die.
Speaker 3:But it I mean, if it happened or, like, if my hand gets chopped off or something.
Tim / GM:No. Listen. Your father promises you're not gonna die.
Speaker 3:I don't think you have the qualifications to make that call.
Tim / GM:You know?
Tara / Journey:You're not a doctor, Dan.
Speaker 3:You're not a doctor or a god.
Tim / GM:He, keeps plucking but never takes his eyes off of the banjo. And he says, you know, you left pretty young.
Speaker 3:What?
Tim / GM:There's a lot we didn't get to talk about.
Speaker 3:Why am I, like, adopted or something? Am I?
Tim / GM:No. It's just well, there's certain things that aren't meant for 13, 14 year old, but there's things I'd like to talk to you about now. I don't k.
Speaker 3:We don't have to have the sex talk. I I know all all about it. Been there, done that. Sorry.
Tim / GM:He smirks a little bit. And this time you don't see his mouth moving, but you hear, there's more I wanted to talk to you about.
Tara / Journey:Oh, dang. You got your magic powers from your dad.
Speaker 7:What the,
Speaker 3:what the fuck?
Tim / GM:Only when I was younger, I did a fair bit of adventuring myself. I talked about it a bit with your friend Tibio. Uh-huh. Well, let's just say I spent a long time in the fae realm. I picked up a few things.
Tim / GM:I can't help but wonder if it rubbed off on you and your brother.
Speaker 8:Which brother?
Tim / GM:Well, I knew since he was young that, Barrett wasn't really, affected by much.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Tim / GM:I used to try little charms to get them to sleep, but Barrett never took.
Speaker 3:Charms with magic?
Tim / GM:Just light fey magic.
Speaker 3:Right. So you can do magic, and you've been able to do magic my whole life. And I was made to feel like an outsider for doing magic.
Tim / GM:Yes and no, Ollie. What I have is borrowed, and I don't have a lot of control over it.
Speaker 7:Mhmm.
Tim / GM:I couldn't pretend to understand what you were going through. What I have is only a shade of that.
Speaker 3:I'd I've honestly, I'm speechless. I don't know what you want me to say.
Tim / GM:I just wanted you to know, you did have a family. You do have a family. You had connection. I'm I'm sorry I was such a coward. I was I hoped it would go away.
Speaker 3:The magic.
Tim / GM:For a while. But when you came back, Uli, I realized it's not a plague, it's not a curse that I passed on to you.
Speaker 3:What is it?
Tim / GM:A gift. Well, it's none of my doing, but you've made it a gift. You've made it beautiful, something I tried to hide my whole life.
Speaker 3:And I did it all by myself. Thanks. Well, this has been a great talk.
Tim / GM:Well, I'll be sure to keep an eye on you, and I'll watch you come back.
Speaker 3:Right. I'll talk to Phil later, I guess.
Tim / GM:You, continue to hear us playing as you move down the hallway.
Speaker 8:Itinerary. Bert wants to go talk to his parents, do something really quick on the way, and then also, Scry and Hero's Feast before the end of the night.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 8:Because Hero's Feast lasts 24 hours, so that should be fine. Right?
Tim / GM:Sure. Yep. That'll
Speaker 9:work.
Speaker 8:Okay. Bert is on his way to talk to his parents. Mhmm. But he would like to inspect one of these new trees that cropped up.
Speaker 9:Okay.
Speaker 8:I guess it's a nature check.
Tim / GM:Mhmm.
Speaker 8:But I love arcana checks. Oof, it's a 9. Okay. Anything special about this tree?
Tara / Journey:It tree.
Tim / GM:They came up wicked fast. They look a little Fey touched maybe.
Speaker 8:Okay. So I they have some magical properties Yep. But I can't glean what that is?
Tim / GM:Nope. Wait. You might be able to if you made an arcana check.
Speaker 8:Oh, those are my favorite. Woah. 15.
Tim / GM:A little better. You can tell that there is definitely druidic magic put into these. You know that certain covens of druids, usually elves, center their societies around these types of events. As in when they choose a new place to live, they will plant a seed there and that becomes their new home.
Speaker 8:Okay. Nothing that's gonna help us against this fight with Orzo. Alright. Bert's gonna find his parents' room and knock on the door. Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. They've just got, like, a little curtain up to give themselves a little privacy in their Yes, they do. Depot room. You can see that your parents have been hoarding a lot of the blankets and pillows. They've been able to scavenge from every other room.
Speaker 8:Hey, folks. Looks like you've made yourselves comfortable.
Tim / GM:Good evening, Engelbert.
Speaker 8:How are you holding up?
Tim / GM:We're doing fine. How are you since our little soiree?
Speaker 8:Yeah. Well, doing okay. I mean, it was weird being trapped for a month inside of a magic gem, as I'm sure you know.
Tim / GM:He says, 2 months. Your mom says, 2 and a half.
Speaker 8:2 and a half months. That's right. Yeah. The time just really flew by. Yeah.
Speaker 8:I'm sorry your whole soiree didn't go the way you wanted, even though I wasn't exactly on board with it.
Tim / GM:I'm still getting used to not being a lich. It's boring.
Speaker 8:Wait, you 2 aren't?
Tim / GM:They both kinda shake their heads. I'm afraid not.
Speaker 8:Oh. Wow. I had no idea.
Tim / GM:I know. I skinned my knee on the way out of there and it really hurt.
Speaker 8:Yeah. Life's like that. Well, my friends and I were gonna go out to Castle Vindorn and try to put an end to all this tomorrow.
Tim / GM:Oh, good.
Tara / Journey:Oh, good. Have fun.
Speaker 8:I'm feeling I'm feeling pretty good about our chances.
Tim / GM:I'm sure you'll do fine, Engelbert. You've grown into such an impressive young boy.
Speaker 8:Oh, well, thanks. What are your plans after, all of this? Are you gonna stay in Vindorn? Or
Tim / GM:Well, we still have our state. I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 8:I think so.
Tim / GM:So, yes, of course. We'll be in Vindorn when this all, blows over. We've still got our friends in high places. Don't worry about us. Yeah.
Speaker 8:I'm not worried. I just, thought I should say, you know, things haven't gone exactly as YouTube planned. So when all this is over, if there's any way you could help out Tildry, I know you left that place behind when you came up here, but you guys have a lot of money, and they really could use it. The town's in a lot of trouble.
Tim / GM:Oh, Engelbert, you can't help everyone who comes begging. It's something you gotta learn. You'll have nothing left for yourself.
Speaker 8:Well, no. You can't help everybody, but you too can help the people of Tildry. Those judges, those people you are friends with and voted for, they literally burn the place to the ground. So I think you should try to do what you can.
Tim / GM:Engelbert, you're speaking as if we burn the place to the ground, and and all of our money wouldn't hardly make us scratch in what children needs.
Speaker 8:Well, it would help. And if you give enough, maybe they would name a building after you.
Tim / GM:They both kinda look at each other. A whole tower?
Speaker 8:I can't promise it would be a whole tower, but their previous benefactor may not be exactly who they thought they were, so they're probably looking for somebody else.
Tim / GM:Well, tell you what, Bert. If you pull through whatever you're attempting tomorrow, you'll probably be known far and wide. Is that right?
Speaker 8:I suppose. I mean, I'm going to write about it and publish it. Mhmm.
Tim / GM:Indeed. Engelbert, I think we might have a future in Tildrey. Seems the Witherspoon name is about to get much bigger.
Speaker 8:Oh, boy. Alright. Well, that's all I wanted to say. Have a good night.
Tim / GM:They kind of, like, close the door. Just a second passes by while you're back in the hallway, and the door opens back up. Your father steps out. He says, Engelbart, I'm I'm afraid that was crass. I'm sorry.
Tim / GM:We're uncomfortable and distracted.
Speaker 8:Alright. I I understand. These are weird times.
Tim / GM:It's just especially hard on us. We're not used to such accommodations.
Speaker 8:I understand. Thanks for roughing it with us.
Tim / GM:You make a sensible suggestion. We we will put money into it. I promise.
Speaker 8:Oh, good. I'm glad to hear it.
Tim / GM:Bert, your mother might be downplaying it, but we both know very well what's at stake here. I understand now I'm missing a lot of pieces. You are not the simple boy we raised. Something changed in you.
Speaker 8:Thanks.
Tim / GM:He kind of, looks up and down the hall. He says, I I believe in you.
Speaker 8:Thanks, dad. I, you know what, despite it all, I believe in you and mom too.
Tim / GM:He smirks looking at you, and then he he says, we'll see. Does anybody else wanna go in between birth stuff?
Tara / Journey:I should talk to my parents too. Tibeo walks over and finds his brother and his parents and forces Tim to do 3 separate voices in an accent.
Tim / GM:K. Yep.
Speaker 8:Yep. Yep. Yep. Hard mode. Yep.
Speaker 8:Yep. Yep. Yep.
Tim / GM:Yeah. They're all playing this, bone game. It's kinda like Jack's, kinda like something else, where they will bounce a ball and then see how many bones they can kinda snap up in the interim. And, your parents are using mage hands to grab some of the bones while is left to try to snap them up with his, with his actual hands.
Tara / Journey:He's got a scoop that he made out of other bones.
Tim / GM:That's fair. Yeah. They all kinda look up, like, in the middle of the round and, like, stop the ball from bouncing, and they're like, Tibio.
Speaker 7:Oh, can can I join in on a round?
Tim / GM:Of course. We can start over.
Tara / Journey:And he, sits down cross legged, bones cross legged, arms bone arms cross legged.
Tim / GM:Phibolo looks up at all of you, and he's, like, holding his, scooper pail in one hand, and he says, house rules?
Speaker 7:Of course.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You all begin to play together, and your father says, Atibio, what's on your mind?
Speaker 7:Well, things are going to get scary tomorrow, and I just wanted to have a test of home before before I have to go face Moja again.
Tim / GM:Phibola says, a taste of whom? And, he, like, reaches into a bag, and he starts kinda written around in there. And then he gets this, like, tiny, tiny, tiny, fancy little cupcake type thing. He says, I only bought a few.
Speaker 7:A fibula. That is amazing.
Tara / Journey:And Tibio has some of his bones turned into a little plate and then cuts it into little pieces for all of them to share, little bits at a time.
Tim / GM:Yeah. They all get out their bone forks and spoons.
Speaker 8:Yep.
Tara / Journey:It's the creepiest family.
Speaker 8:That's me, my family.
Speaker 7:Yeah. Mama, papa, how are you adjusting to being outside of a
Speaker 3:gym? It is pretty
Tim / GM:much the same. Yeah.
Speaker 3:It's it's we love it. We all
Tim / GM:the fact that we got to see you and, Fibolo, it feels like we've died and gone to heaven after so long.
Speaker 7:No. You are just back to real life. It's also a lot of pressure off of me, to be honest. I mean, I still think that whatever connection I have to the realm of the dead is still connected. It doesn't come back to you.
Speaker 7:But now that I have you back, I don't feel, so alone.
Tim / GM:They they kinda smile, but you can see there's a little bit of hesitance in their smile. They say, of course, we we're always here to support you in any ways that we can. But, Tivio, it is a one way street. You are the guardian now, you know that, right?
Speaker 7:I know, but I I just had so many questions and and I did not know everything that I should do and I I had such, well, so many shoes to fill.
Tim / GM:Of course. We can teach you everything we learned how to do.
Speaker 7:Now you can you can retire and travel as you were, but not on a hunt for a vampire cure.
Tim / GM:That would be much more relaxing. Mhmm. In the meantime, your father and I can teach you how to teleport to the underworld, summon undead servants.
Speaker 7:Excuse me? That is something you can do? There will be
Tim / GM:many times in your life when you are called far and wide to deal with death, you will have new tools to do so.
Speaker 7:That is amazing.
Tim / GM:He says, may I? And he kind of, like, gestures towards your bones, and they start to, like, move a little bit.
Speaker 7:Of course. And, Tibio
Tara / Journey:makes his bones, like, set his butt on the ground so that they can be manipulated as needed.
Tim / GM:Your mother says, you should continue to collect as much as you can.
Speaker 7:It is honestly very much fun. I kept getting distracted every place that we went looking for birds.
Tim / GM:Your father does a kind of, twirl of his fingers, and the bones arrange themselves on him. But they also consume fibulos, your mother's, and your father's bones altogether. And it makes a armor suit much like yours, except his has expanded to also include large wings. Oh, cool. You have to think bigger, more imaginative.
Tim / GM:There's very little you cannot do.
Speaker 7:That is amazing. I never thought of that.
Tim / GM:He lets out a big sign, all the bones kinda like clatter to the ground, and your mother's just like, oh, and she's, like, catching them as they fall. And she, like like, with a flick of her wrist, she sorts them all back out to their original skeletons, and all the skeletons stand up straight, and then she has them all sit down. Your mother is kind of flexing her own necromancy.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. I'm sure it's been
Tara / Journey:a long time for them, so they're just, like, playing.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yeah. They're continuing to just, like, pass a bone back and forth like Pong. Mhmm. Yeah.
Tara / Journey:To make sure that fibula is included, every time it would go to him to, like, pass the bone around, we give him he has, like, a thing to catch it and, like, pass along. That's not his own hands. He's got, like, a tool that, like, pops out of the back of his mech suit or something that he's got rigged.
Tim / GM:Essentially, like rock them, sock them punches. Yeah. Yeah. Some of you can see Tibio, sitting with his family and, just taking a couple moments to himself to live normally.
Speaker 7:Tibeo's just gonna
Tara / Journey:spend the rest of the evening with his family just hanging out, talking, trying to feel normal, trying to feel connected again.
Tim / GM:Yeah. There are certain times where you get to laugh with them. And for moments at a time, you forget what you have to do the next
Tara / Journey:morning. Do I know how to make those fucking bone wings now?
Speaker 1:We'll talk about it.
Speaker 8:They're boneless wings for now.
Tara / Journey:What was that about?
Speaker 3:I was trying
Hannah / Eryn:to make that joke.
Speaker 8:So good.
Tara / Journey:They're bone out wings.
Tim / GM:They're bone in wing.
John / Doran:Rumble Dundas. Rumble Dundas, where are you? Here. Where's where's that paper that you have? Do you have an extra one?
Tim / GM:You hear some papers shuffling about. A few.
John / Doran:Thank you. Yes. I I grabbed some.
Tim / GM:Hey, what do you need that for?
John / Doran:I need to make a plan, Rumble.
Tim / GM:We already had the plan. That's what we talked about for like an hour.
John / Doran:This is the next part. This is my this is my secret part. You cannot know.
Tim / GM:Is this for after? No. Oh, can I see?
John / Doran:You you can see it when I'm done.
Tim / GM:But just you and me?
John / Doran:How do you how do you and Snek is gesturing with his finger back and forth.
Tim / GM:He grabs you like a little charcoal pencil.
John / Doran:Thank you. I will return when my plan is complete. Okay.
Tim / GM:Don't scribble on the front of that. We need it.
John / Doran:I go into a room with, bidet. Okay. Genie, Genie, are you here?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Snack, just to be clear,
Speaker 1:I'm always gonna be here.
John / Doran:Well, you were ignoring me previously in stressful moments and that, we are still friends. I'm not going to dwell on this. I I need your presence here with bidet.
Tim / GM:Sure.
John / Doran:Great. Alright. Okay. So I got the paper, I got I got this this black thing.
Tim / GM:Pencil?
John / Doran:Yes. Good. Yes. And when I go like this and then I on the paper.
Speaker 1:Pretty good. Yeah.
John / Doran:Yes. I have a confession as well
Tim / GM:that I
John / Doran:must, get out and I want you both to be aware that well, and I nervously, gesture at my mustache
Speaker 8:Okay. And
John / Doran:I appear as a farewell. Okay. This is actually me as well. I Hi. I'm Farewell.
Speaker 1:Nice to meet you Farewell. Wow. Genie Woah,
John / Doran:this is incredible. No, Genie. Genie, this is this is actually a snack still.
Speaker 1:That's impossible. Just a moment ago, you were my friend's snack.
John / Doran:Now, I'm gonna try to draw a picture of a dragon and an arrow pointing to a mustache.
Tim / GM:He, like, opens his eyes, like, extra double wide and he goes, this is you?
John / Doran:I'm starting to get nervous that this plan is gonna work.
Tim / GM:Snack. I I'm aware. I know.
John / Doran:Oh, good, you got it. Bide, are you following this? It is me snack.
Speaker 9:I I I think I'm following you.
John / Doran:Great. Well, it's it's not that complicated, so let's, let's move along. Anyways, so I snack secretly farewell will take you bidet immortal donkey to Moja, that's as far as I got. Can you guys fill in the details here? What are we what are we,
Tim / GM:Snack, I I think
Speaker 1:they're right. Mojo's gonna be interested.
Tim / GM:Whether that means the whole plan is going to work,
Speaker 1:who knows? But it's
Tim / GM:going to buy you some time. I know that.
John / Doran:I wipe off the mustache. Yes. Yes. Yes. It's good.
John / Doran:It's a beautiful plan. And, oh, bidet, this is what I was going to do. Yes. Other part of the plan. I take off a ring that is on my finger, and then I look at bidet and I'm perplexed, and I lift up his tail, and I try to put the ring on his tail.
John / Doran:Okay. And then I try to tie some of his hairs around the ring.
Tim / GM:Sure. Yeah. There's a, a ring tied to the end of his tail. Bidet. He kinda flicks his tail and the ring, like, is, like, hanging on, but he just keeps flicking it back and forth.
John / Doran:Stop stop flicking. There's make sure that stays on. Feels different. Do you feel do you feel more spry and, springy?
Tim / GM:Let me try. Oh
Speaker 3:my god.
Tim / GM:And you just hear this, like, thud as bidet jumps and just slams his back against the 10 foot ceiling and goes and, like, hits the floor again and then hits the ground and says,
Speaker 1:yeah. A lot more spry.
John / Doran:Yes. But, hey, this will help you with your, your your fast escape should, Mojo try to actually take you. Wonderful. So I'm gonna draw this circle that that's part of the plan now. I feel like we have everything figured out.
Speaker 1:Okay. Yes. And what happens when Mojo figures us out or gets sick of it?
John / Doran:Well, did you see how far Badei could jump?
Speaker 1:Yeah. Good point. Okay.
John / Doran:Alright. Well, I'm going I have to give this back to Rumble.
Tim / GM:Sure. Sure.
John / Doran:But I feel like we have this all sorted out. Thank you.
Tim / GM:You pulled a map off the ground and, like, it's just covered in dirt, the the front part of it that was on the ground, like, yeah, useless.
John / Doran:Run over to Rumble. Here is the extension of the plan.
Tim / GM:He looks at unintelligible circles and scribbles on the back of this thing. He goes, very pretty. And he, like, sets it back on the table to look at his actual plan, and he's like, well, good. We only had one of those, so good.
John / Doran:Wonderful. I will depart then. Rumble a farewell. I mean, I'm snack pie.
Tim / GM:He's just rubbing his head, and he's like, we're all going to die.
Speaker 8:Alright. Bert. I could use Holly's help for this part. Where's dear Holly, I'm going to try scrying on Orzo in his throne room, and I could use your help again like we did in the fern blade.
Tim / GM:Message has not been received.
Hannah / Eryn:You just get a bunch of z z z's back.
Speaker 8:Alright. I'm gonna find Holly's room.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. You you see her sleeping, among her equipment in some corner.
Speaker 8:Holly.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly doesn't wake up.
Speaker 8:Okay. Bert's gonna go over and start poking her?
Hannah / Eryn:Holly's hand slaps Bert across the face because she's still wearing the slap back ring or whatever it's called.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:And Holly's like, oh oh my gosh. Bert, what are you doing? I didn't think we had this kind of relationship. What are you doing to my room?
Speaker 8:Sorry. You didn't see my message, Well, I need your help to scry on Mocha, but also
Speaker 3:What?
Speaker 8:I'm gonna run out tonight with a hero's feast for everybody, make sure we're ready to go tomorrow.
Speaker 3:I was dreaming about the best shoes I ever made.
Speaker 8:What were they like?
Hannah / Eryn:I don't remember now.
Speaker 8:Alright. Well, can you help me scry on this guy?
Hannah / Eryn:I'd what do you need me for?
Speaker 8:Well, you've actually been inside this room, and you helped me last time we tried scrying on him, so I thought
Hannah / Eryn:Sure. I guess. Holly fixes some of her crystals that got knocked about when Bert woke her up.
Tim / GM:Mhmm.
Hannah / Eryn:And then she turns to him and says, okay, I'm ready.
Speaker 8:Alright. To the most nondescript room in this place.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You go into a room that has evidence of a donkey being thrown around in it.
Speaker 8:Suspicious, but this will have to do.
Hannah / Eryn:It's a very donkey shaped
Tim / GM:Crater.
Hannah / Eryn:Crater in the ceiling.
Speaker 8:Alright. Bert pulls out his crystal ball and starts us crying.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. Do we have a role for this?
Speaker 8:Yeah. He has to make a wisdom saving throw. Okay. K. And he gets some nasty penalties for because I
Speaker 3:because I said I know
Speaker 8:I'm pretty good.
John / Doran:Wow. Okay. That was a Nat one.
Tim / GM:Yeah. It was.
Speaker 8:Oh, okay. So I so I think he fails.
Tim / GM:Yeah. I think he does.
Speaker 8:The spell creates an invisible sensor with intent view of the target. You can see and hear through the sensor as if you were there.
Tim / GM:Okay. The first thing you hear is
Speaker 9:Words are working perfectly, and they will be from now on. We have very little to worry about. Unless they scry directly into the center of the effect, there's
Tim / GM:no way they'd be able to see us.
Speaker 8:I, high five Holly.
Tim / GM:You see this white spirit energy kind of like moving about the room, talking to a couple other vampire dwarves in there. He says,
Speaker 9:we do have cause for concern. It's likely they will strike in the morning. And when they do, we need to be ready. We need to cover every open exit, the main gates, every window, every balcony.
John / Doran:They didn't say sewer. Every poo poo pee pee shoot.
Tim / GM:Every toilet. Toilet.
Hannah / Eryn:They don't use toilets, so they wouldn't think of it.
Speaker 3:Is there a really loud organ playing in the background of the sky?
Tim / GM:No. Not at this time. Yeah.
John / Doran:Traeing.
Tim / GM:He says,
Speaker 9:as for my replacement, that has been decided. I'm afraid to say for all of you, we decided to go with an outside hire. I would like you all to meet the heir to the throne of Findorn, miss Illya Nys.
Tara / Journey:Oh, for fuck's sake. Oh, for fuck's sake. What?
Speaker 8:Hey, Tim said he wouldn't kill her.
John / Doran:I believe is what he said.
Speaker 3:No. We have to not kill her. Oh my god.
Tim / GM:You see a half orc that you've met a few times before, Bert. In fact, you've saved her life twice before. Oops. She steps into the organ room, into this cathedral like space, and she looks calm and healthy, almost cocky. And the last little detail you kind of see as you're starting to lose your composure over this scry are the 2 little pinholes in her
John / Doran:neck. Oh.
Tim / GM:She, wearing her ceremonial gown, looks up towards the chandelier in the middle of this space and says, I'm ready. And they merge.
Speaker 8:Dear listeners, thank you for sharing this story with us. If you're wishing there was a way to support us, that's right. You can. Check us out on Twitter and Instagram at peapop_podcast, and leave us a rating and review wherever you're listening. You can even help us out with a small donation at buy me a coffee dot com slash pbop.
Speaker 8:Sincerely, Bert.