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Are you mentoring someone from a different community, cultural background, or socio-economic status? How much homework have you done about their experience? Edward Franklin, the Executive Director of Voice of Hope Ministries, takes us to school on how our understanding of urban sociology affects the ways we mentor.
Show Notes
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WELCOME
You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.
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SHOW NOTES
Edward Franklin is the Executive Director of Voice of Hope Ministries in West Dallas. Voice of Hope Ministries exists to extend the love of Jesus Christ by nurturing and training children through Biblical teaching, Christian character models, life skills coaching and educational support.
- Visit their website at voiceofhope.org
- Follow them on Facebook
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others. You can mentor.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to the you can mentor podcast. My name is Steven, and we're so glad you're listening today. We have a few guys in the room that are familiar. Zachary Garza. Hello.
Speaker 2:Caroline Cash.
Speaker 3:Hello.
Speaker 2:I just called you a guy. That was kinda weird.
Speaker 3:I was gonna say
Speaker 2:And our special guest today is Edward Franklin from Voice of Hope Ministries.
Speaker 3:Yes. Hello. Hello.
Speaker 2:So glad to have you on the podcast today.
Speaker 4:So glad to be here.
Speaker 5:The vision statement of Voice of Hope is Voice of Hope Ministries exist to extend the love of Jesus by nurturing and training children through biblical teaching, Christian character models, life skills, coaching, and educational support.
Speaker 2:And we're just celebrated 15 years serving in his ministry, Voice of Hope Ministries. Mhmm. That is amazing.
Speaker 4:Where's the bells? Like, ding ding ding ding.
Speaker 1:I know. Seriously.
Speaker 4:Again, the live audience is awesome. Some bells here. Bells and horns and, you know, cymbals. I've known Ed
Speaker 5:for probably 3 or 4 years now. Something like that.
Speaker 4:4 or 5 years. Feel like like 25 or something.
Speaker 5:And, man, I think it's been 5 or 6 years because how I met Ed is Ed and I were fortunate enough to be sponsored by a philanthropic charity
Speaker 4:Mhmm.
Speaker 5:In the Dallas area back in about 2015. And this person gave 6 organizations in Dallas who were up to good things, some cash, and they brought us all together for a dinner. And the executive directors of every organization had to speak about what it is that their organization was up to.
Speaker 2:And Where is this at? Like, Papa Joe's?
Speaker 5:No. This was at,
Speaker 4:Cafe Momentum. Cafe Momentum.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that place.
Speaker 5:Here in
Speaker 2:Dallas, check out Cafe Momentum.
Speaker 5:It was awesome. And Ed got up there in front of about a 100 people and unashamedly spoke the gospel. And he prayed, and he was telling people about Jesus Christ, and he just was going for it. And I said to myself, that's a man who I need to meet. And so I feel like so often whenever we fundraise, sometimes there's a temptation to focus too much on what it is that you're doing and not enough on what the Lord's up to.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 5:And, and so I I've kinda learned from Ed over the past 5 or 6 years just, hey, what does it look like to run a godly ministry that they're strong in structure and they are, good to their employees and you're an excellent boss with, where you have goals and outcomes and things of that nature while still keeping Jesus Christ at the center. And so, man, Ed and I have had we meet probably every quarter to every 6 months, and I just honestly just ask him a bunch of questions about how do you run a ministry? How do you handle a board? How do you handle being a father? Being in the midst of being in charge of something?
Speaker 5:And, man, he's just been such an asset to me. And so and he's doing amazing things. I mean, they're serving 300 kids every single day with their after school program. They do summer camps. They've been around since 1985.
Speaker 5:Is that right?
Speaker 4:82.
Speaker 5:82. Yeah. And so, you know, Voice of Hope is a staple in the nonprofit, segment of Dallas, Texas. So just
Speaker 4:Super great. So so awesome. You received that? You received that?
Speaker 1:Received from
Speaker 2:one executive director to another.
Speaker 5:Yes. And, Ed, remind I mean, please tell me if I'm wrong, but aren't you are you a doctor?
Speaker 4:No. I'm getting my I'm I'm pursuing my doctorate of ministry Yeah. From, currently Knox Theological Seminary. So we're not gonna get into that conversation
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 4:When I started it. But, I'm hopefully, prayerfully, we'll finish, in 2020. Alright.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 4:I did start in 2003. That's okay. I'm just trying I'm saying. Yeah. But I I, you know, I I stopped for 10 years and then got back into it.
Speaker 5:Yeah. That's awesome. Ed's married, has a wife, and Yes.
Speaker 4:3 kids? Yes, sir. And they're all teenagers. Oh, god bless
Speaker 3:you, sir.
Speaker 4:Year old and
Speaker 5:13 year old twins.
Speaker 4:Amen. Keep us in your prayers because this is the
Speaker 5:age of opportunity. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:It's the
Speaker 4:age of something. Mhmm. There are some challenges, but they're also
Speaker 2:wonderful opportunities. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Come on. A professor, in school, Paul Tripp. You may know him. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. And
Speaker 4:he was my professor in my counseling class, and he shared it was marriage and family. He shared that, oftentimes, the teenage years are, considered, you know, very traumatic and stressful, blah blah blah. And they are. But, it's also the age of opportunity. That's great.
Speaker 4:And we never forgot that. That's good.
Speaker 1:That's good.
Speaker 4:It's the way you approach even when we're talking about mentoring, the way you approach what you're about to do determines your behavior. Wow. We all know that our beliefs determine a lot of times our behavior. Mhmm. So what I believed about teenage years determine how I interact now.
Speaker 4:Mhmm. And that belief that seed was planted in seminary long time ago that this is the age of opportunity, and we use this time for his glory and, for the building up of my kids because they're gonna be teenagers for a small amount of time. Right. But they'll be my children forever. Are you with me?
Speaker 3:Wow. And
Speaker 4:so, therefore, I tried not to let this time dictate the the the way we relate to each other for a long time.
Speaker 1:That's really good.
Speaker 4:We all know adults who have been impacted, or or are impacted and they they're stressed out today based on their relationship with their parents during those Mhmm. Teenage years.
Speaker 3:You see
Speaker 4:what I'm saying? And so, hopefully, prayerfully, you know, we'll again, we'll just use Go
Speaker 2:on, Ed. Come on.
Speaker 3:It's awesome.
Speaker 5:And I mean, like, that's a great way to segment that into mentoring is, man, this isn't just a sprint. It's a marathon. Right? Like, it's a long race. And so and don't sweat
Speaker 4:the small stuff, but focus on
Speaker 5:the most important things. And, I mean, that's amazing. Ed, you're born and raised in Philly?
Speaker 4:Absolutely. Okay.
Speaker 5:So here's
Speaker 2:He's like, we're going there? We're talking
Speaker 4:about Exactly. You wanna go there?
Speaker 5:Okay. So so, Ed, I'm gonna go out on a limb here. Were you a fan of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air?
Speaker 4:First of all, I lived in West Philly.
Speaker 5:Okay. Okay. Born and raised?
Speaker 4:No. I was born and raised in North Philly.
Speaker 5:On a playground is where you spent most of
Speaker 3:your days? Oh, thanks.
Speaker 4:I had a playground in North Philly. So but that was my life. But I was in North Philly, and he was in west. Okay. So absolutely, I was a fan of Fresh Prince.
Speaker 5:Okay. Yes. So tell us if you've got one favorite Fresh Prince character, favorite Fresh Prince episode, favorite thing that you learned from the Fresh Prince, Something like
Speaker 2:that. Question.
Speaker 4:Yeah. That is very good question. Very, deep question. But obviously, you know, you would think that I would say Will Smith Right. As the character that most folks identify with.
Speaker 4:Mhmm. But the reality is most folks, in my opinion, identify with old Carlton.
Speaker 5:Okay. You know what
Speaker 4:I'm saying? Because he was funny and he liked his dance because Carlton was, no, I can't say that. But anyway, Carlton was, You can say it. So he he was the example of those who were in our community trying to fake it like they wasn't from our community. Right.
Speaker 4:You know? And so, oh, you you acting like Carlton. You trying to act like you don't live in North Philadelphia. You live in the suburbs. Mhmm.
Speaker 4:But you live down here with us. So anyway, Carlton was my favorite, because, that little dance he used to do. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:And I
Speaker 4:had a buddy who can do that exact dance. So Oh, yeah. That was kinda cool.
Speaker 5:That's awesome, man. Yes.
Speaker 2:Well, good. I've never heard that. I've heard I've heard around people saying that you're like Carlton trying to act like Denzel, but not you're like Denzel trying to act like Carlton. I've never heard that that flip.
Speaker 4:Did I say Denzel?
Speaker 2:Well, no. You didn't. But that's what I've heard.
Speaker 4:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:People saying, like, there's people like Carlton and there's people like Denzel Washington, and that's like these archetypes of the black experience. And I've heard people saying of those, but
Speaker 3:you just Okay.
Speaker 2:Communicated another one. Now you got me on this tangent.
Speaker 3:So Carlton has one
Speaker 4:character, basically. Yeah. But Denzel, he's played multiple characters. Yeah. So what Denzel are you referring to?
Speaker 2:Well, I I'm just telling you what I've heard.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:And so I I think people communicate in a way through using, like, an example. Obviously, Carlton is a fictional character. Denzel is an actor.
Speaker 4:Well, when you say Denzel, immediately, I think about all the characters he played.
Speaker 2:Yeah. But you think of training day. You think of
Speaker 4:Okay. So that's I think
Speaker 5:of, like, big, strong, tough, like, authoritative, like Okay. I'm in charge here. I'm Denzel.
Speaker 4:Training day. Yeah. Right? Yep. Alright.
Speaker 4:King Kong. We're talking about moves again. Nothing on me. King Kong
Speaker 5:ain't got nothing on me.
Speaker 4:Yeah. You see, y'all seen it. That should be a podcast. You know, because oftentimes watch this now. I'm bringing it back to Midrink.
Speaker 4:Oftentimes, folks' idea of urban society is primarily based off the media. Mhmm. And movies is one of those, venues, vehicles, venues that folks are, oh, that's is that how it is? Oh, man. Oh, okay.
Speaker 4:And so that's a fictional character. It's fantasy make believe Right. But it gets entrenched in folks' mind. Mhmm. Yes.
Speaker 5:Well, Anne, we just had a podcast with Will Dowell from behind every door, and he spoke on how the media portrays urban
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 5:Urban life as it's dangerous. You shouldn't go down there. There's shootings. There's gangs. There's all of these things.
Speaker 5:Mhmm. And that's just not true.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Yeah. Isolated incidents become representative of a culture. Mhmm.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Well, that's not a new phenomenon.
Speaker 5:Yeah. That's been going on.
Speaker 4:People I'm sure. Are realizing it now, but, you know, come on now. We got the civil rights movement. We got before that when people were communicating often about the power of the media and how they portray certain individuals, certain demographics in a certain light. It's good.
Speaker 4:So
Speaker 5:Okay. So we're kinda getting into what we're gonna talk about today.
Speaker 3:Alright.
Speaker 5:The main thing that we're gonna do today through Ed is we're gonna hear about what he calls urban sociology. Mhmm. So for most of us, here in our organization, there are differences most of the time between mentors and their background and their upbringing and their socioeconomic class and race, and all of that stuff, and the kids that they mentor. And so Ed is going to enlighten us on what we would call urban sociology. So, Ed, can you explain urban sociology like I'm a 10 year old?
Speaker 4:Absolutely. And so, I'm not an expert. You know, I'm just trying to I don't have a PhD in sociology or anything like that. I took it in college, one class. But but,
Speaker 5:I mean, Ed has been doing it day in and day out for 15 years. So I would say that you are an expert.
Speaker 4:Well, ultimately, all I'm saying is there needs to be a recognition that the urban environment is different. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:And,
Speaker 4:most folks don't realize that. Mhmm. Or if they realize it, they don't really understand the depths of the differences. I
Speaker 3:I
Speaker 4:share with people all the time. You know? When I go do a mission trip, to another country or when you go do a to admit on a mission trip, you find out some information about the people that you're going to serve. You know, a little bit about their language. You know, a little bit about their culture.
Speaker 4:You know, a little bit about a little bit about their history. So you would not go out of the country to serve someone else without having some information. Yeah. But, a lot of times, folks believe that because we live in the same city, we're in the same state, we're in the same country. Oh, I'm a just go down there, and I know what to do.
Speaker 4:Now that is true in a lot of, areas, but that's not true in a lot of areas as well.
Speaker 5:Mhmm. That's good.
Speaker 4:And that's ultimately what all I'm saying is that the urban community is different, especially if you haven't experienced it in any significant type of way. So I would not be I would not come to your house and think because I have a refrigerator and you have a refrigerator, then I could just walk up in it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. That's not how it works.
Speaker 4:Because in my house, you may or may not be able to walk in my fridge, but I may not be able to
Speaker 3:do that
Speaker 4:in your house.
Speaker 3:You know
Speaker 4:what I'm saying? So That's good.
Speaker 3:You know,
Speaker 4:I can't just come in your house using my house rules in your house.
Speaker 5:Oh, that's
Speaker 4:good. Times. That's what happens. People use their house rules in an urban house, and they're not the same.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 4:That's good. Awesome.
Speaker 1:What is a way that you, like, seek to understand the context, like, practically in which our kids live? Right? Like because you you need to know the kid, but also the family. And so how do you and then the city or the area they live in. And so where do you start?
Speaker 1:Like, what is, like, point a that you kind of try to, like, narrow in on in a mentoring relationship that may be different from your experience?
Speaker 4:Well, first and foremost, I under I would try to understand that the mentee is a human being just like me with thoughts and feelings and emotions and all that good stuff and fears and happy concerns and joys. And so, I try to just listen and ask questions. And so over time, I've learned that people do not care what you know until they know that you care.
Speaker 3:That's right.
Speaker 4:You can tell them all day and all night that you care, but if you don't listen to them when they speak, that's a clear indication that you really don't care. So you'll ask me a question, and I will start to share the answer, but you'll cut me off mid sentence. You'll change what I just said. You'll tell me it's not right. Blah blah blah.
Speaker 4:Blue blue blue. That that's an that's an indication. You don't really care about me. You just want me to be like you. This is your opportunity to conform me, watch this now, into your image.
Speaker 4:Wow. Not his image, but the mentor's image. Wow. And, unfortunately, a lot of times, we do that even if it's unconscious. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 4:We don't really mean no harm, but we come with the, idea that what we do what we know is right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:So to answer your question, you know, the first place you start is just about building that relationship.
Speaker 3:A lot
Speaker 4:of times for me, it's just by asking questions and listening to the answers and I and being genuinely concerned about this individual.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Well, it's good.
Speaker 4:It's good. Because, you know, kids and adults, they know when you're asking questions just to check boxes or just, you know, or when you're really concerned. Because not only that, watch this now. We speak with our mouth, but we also speak with our body. Mhmm.
Speaker 4:And a lot of times, what we don't take as much note of is our nonverbal cues. Our nonverbal cues speak louder than what is actually coming out of our mouths. So, yes, I can be asking you questions, but if my body language says I don't I don't really care. I'm looking at my watch, I favorite for 15 minutes and this and that. Well, that speaks as well, and children can pick up on that.
Speaker 4:Yeah. That's
Speaker 5:good. Has there ever been a time where you felt like someone has tried to conform you into their image instead of conforming you into his image? Man, that is such a powerful quote right there. So often, mentors try to conform.
Speaker 4:Trademark that, that's trademark. So You
Speaker 5:should. That's for sure going on midstream.
Speaker 4:Gonna be on 4 minute metric. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 5:Yeah. Oh, for sure.
Speaker 4:Get paid. But Put my little breakdown.
Speaker 5:So Somebody get this guy a check. He's been asking for that check all week. So if there's ever been a time when someone's tried to conform them into their image, not his image, tell me what that looked like in your life specifically, and tell me how that made you feel.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Well, the, so the beauty of my life is that the majority of my life was in a homogeneous community, in North Philadelphia. Everything I did was in my community. The people I interacted with looked like me, talked like me, thought like me. So for the majority of my life, I was a part of the group that, was concerned about.
Speaker 4:Right. And so, you know, I was, like, you know, growing up, you know, and all that goes on. And so when I went to college, which was also in North Philadelphia, Temple University, that's when I really started interacting with other cultures of ethnicities and all this good stuff. Just a little story. I'm interacting with a guy similar to you, Zach.
Speaker 4:And he's like, do you know Jesus? I was like, dude, I'm a black man in a urban city. Of course, I know Jesus. What I need to be asking you is do you know Jesus? And so, you know, I I left the interaction.
Speaker 4:I was like, oh, he seemed pretty pretty, genuine about his question. Maybe he does love Jesus. White people love Jesus too. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Speaker 4:And unfortunately, that was in college. Okay? Right. And my only real other experience with the other, cultures was on TV, them, Jim Baker, and all that good stuff. And that was my experience.
Speaker 4:But, unfortunately, when I, you know, continue to grow and you realize, okay. Wait a minute. There's 2 worlds here. There's a world I'm living in, and then there's a world that everybody else is living in that don't look like me. So like I shared earlier, everything was in my community, homogeneous, everybody made the same, looked the same, blah blah blah.
Speaker 4:But that's really a subculture. There's a dominant culture. Now you know this growing up, But, you know, if it's not affecting you in your community, you don't really have to interact with it.
Speaker 3:Right. But then
Speaker 4:you go to college and you're like, oh, okay. So this is what I wanna do. This is where I wanna go. Oh, so these folks this this is how you what you need to do to get where you need to go. Alright.
Speaker 4:So this is how you act in your community and this is how you need to act over here. This is what you talk how you talk over here. This is what you need to do over here. We call that code switching. You got it.
Speaker 4:Okay, brother. What'd you know about that, Steven?
Speaker 2:You keep going. I'm just I'm with you.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You just heard my other talk on code switching. Now I'm just messing.
Speaker 4:So, you know, you learn that and, that's, not forced on you per se, but you learn in order to go and do and be successful, there's a switch that needs to happen and you need to be able to do that well. When I went to seminary, that was really the experience where folks did not care about my background, did not care about who I was as an individual, but they were most concerned about my theology. Mhmm. And, you know, I get it. But, I'm more I'm a individual.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:And I would would have appreciated you got to know me before you try to, you know, before you try to convert me and make me in your image. Anyway, that was my experience. That was the the when I really realized that, oh, okay, you're trying to make me in your image. Mhmm. And unfortunately, you know, I was just telling somebody else the other day, caused me to reject a lot of relationships because they weren't genuine.
Speaker 4:They just wanted me to confirm to their particular denomination and all that good stuff. Yeah. And so there were some and then some Jimmy Ray General. There were some who just generally wanted to be friends and all that good stuff, but the majority was no. What what what's your denomination?
Speaker 4:Oh, you're one of those guys. And so it wasn't like, yo, where are you from? What's your name? What's your mom's name?
Speaker 1:How did you get here? Like, all
Speaker 4:of that stuff. Your story. Yeah. So that was the first experience. Now now now I'm an educated guy at that point.
Speaker 4:You know, I'm a I'm a grown man at that point, so I can really take it. You know, it's kinda fun. Now we're gonna fight.
Speaker 3:You know
Speaker 4:what I'm saying? Now I'm not gonna let you convert me. You know, I got some edification, but, you know, it's different when when as a child. Yeah. Because they can't fight like I could.
Speaker 4:You know what I'm saying? And so, unfortunately, you know, I experienced that at a way older age. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:But a
Speaker 4:lot of our kids are experiencing it now at a younger age. Mhmm. And so that, you know, if you're not if you're not if you're not careful, that could mess with their identity. Right. Wow.
Speaker 1:Because they can't necessarily communicate. They don't have the verbiage or the tools to communicate.
Speaker 4:You're right. And and most importantly, they want the relationship.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 4:You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:So they will.
Speaker 4:Yeah. So they'll conform their acquiesce very quickly because that's what they think they need to do in order to be watched this now, to be accepted. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:It's
Speaker 4:all about acceptance. You know what I'm saying? Our country has a history of, a making folks acclimate to the dominant culture.
Speaker 3:I'm
Speaker 4:saying that's nothing new. It's just it is what it is. And so it's always here. It's always around in different ways and
Speaker 3:all that
Speaker 4:good stuff. So, anyway, that was that's the answer to your question.
Speaker 5:That's awesome. Wow.
Speaker 2:So, ultimately, a mentor can fall into this trap of trying to convert a culture that they should actually value.
Speaker 4:Well, I think it's not just I think all of us Yeah. All in the trap if we're not paying attention. Yeah. Because all of us are egotistic. All of us think we know everything, you know, and the way we do things are right.
Speaker 4:A lot of folks have strong opinions. And so, again, you know, we're talking about in the mentor mentee relationship, but Now, if you're the adult, obviously, in this relationship,
Speaker 3:yes, most definitely you
Speaker 4:feel that your life, your experience is what you know is obviously better than the child that you're with. And in a lot of ways, that is correct. Mhmm. But, you know, getting back to urban sociology, a lot of times what I learned, is that when people come down into the city, they think wrong excuse me, they think different is wrong. But different doesn't mean wrong.
Speaker 4:Different means different. Yeah. You know, every parent loves their child. Yeah.
Speaker 3:You know
Speaker 4:what I'm saying? Okay. 99.9%. Okay. Loves the child.
Speaker 4:But sometimes it just looks different. Yeah. And instead of folks learning, okay, let me learn about this differences. Let me learn before I make a judgment, before I say he's wrong or whatever, let me learn a little bit about it. And then let me let me let me look at it and talk about it and offer some alternatives.
Speaker 4:And so, yes, a lot of times if we don't check our, our our experience, our culture, our education, our family upbringing, all that baggage, good baggage that we bring to every and any relationship.
Speaker 3:You know what
Speaker 4:I'm saying? I I even have to check myself, you know, oftentimes, you know, because I love lived in the urban community, for so many years, because I've lived in underserved areas as a child and then this adult. Oftentimes, I come like, you know, I'm the expert in the urban community, and I know it all. But then, watch this now, I meet some of my residents. I don't know nothing.
Speaker 4:They know everything. And I'm like, woah, teach
Speaker 3:me because I forgot about that lesson, you know.
Speaker 4:So everybody has the potential to, you know, push their thoughts and ideologies and and on somebody else. But, you know, we need to be Yeah. Well, and I mean, so much of what I'm hearing
Speaker 5:right now, Ed,
Speaker 3:is like what we continually talk about here on this podcast is the foundation of
Speaker 5:mentoring is humility. And just you've got to be able to say, I don't know, but I'm gonna come and I'm gonna ask questions and I'm gonna learn and I'm gonna get on your level and come into your space and I'm gonna learn from you. So
Speaker 4:And I agree with that 100%. And I think that we need to continue to, talk about that and anchor on that and all as well. But I also think that when again, back over to sociology, I think people need to inform educate themselves on the history of our cities.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 4:And not in a big old, you know, from the agrarian society to the industrial revolution. I ain't talking about all that good stuff.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 4:But I'm talking about, you know, there are some historical things
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 4:That happened over many, many years that results in what you see today. Mhmm. So current urban sociology is based on, a faulty anthropology that was, reinforced by faulty theology. And so and that's not mine. I I would like to quote it and be I'm all deep, but, that's not me.
Speaker 4:That was doctor, doctor, doctor somebody from, Houston, Texas, Texas Community Development Network Conference in Houston. What I often try to share is that what you see today did not start yesterday. Yeah. It started a long time ago. Basically, it started when the majority of the folks that look like me, touched down on this this country.
Speaker 4:And boom, we were like, well, you are less than. K? So that's the anthropology.
Speaker 2:Faulty anthropology.
Speaker 4:You got it. And then over time, it was reinforced. Well, god said that you are less than. Okay? Wow.
Speaker 4:And so that was perpetuated. Here you go. That was perpetuated, perpetuated, perpetuated. And so here we are now, and people are like, well, what's going on in that urban community? Understand your question.
Speaker 4:But I'm a have to educate you on what happened
Speaker 3:before this. Okay. And so,
Speaker 4:you know, there was a a culture of thinking that, you know, African Americans in particular And then, you
Speaker 3:know, like I said,
Speaker 4:the theology, you know, reinforced that and that led for generations of generations of people doing things based on that information. Right. Okay. So laws were created, primarily laws were created. Things were set in motion.
Speaker 2:Cities were formed.
Speaker 4:Cities were formed, and areas were developed based on that information, which, again, we recognize now was incorrect. Mhmm. And so that set a set a series of actions in motion which lead to where we are today. Okay? That's what I was saying with that.
Speaker 4:And I was just at a bible study the other day, and I said, you know, they were talking about how, you know, heaven is gonna be a city. You know, New Jerusalem is a city. Right? And it was like, well, why is God gonna have a city? You know, what's the deal with cities?
Speaker 4:And I was like, first of all, God is the man. You know, he knows the cities are the bomb. So that's why, you know, heaven's the city. But ultimately, you know, when people think of cities, they often think it has a negative connotation.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 4:Unfortunate. But, what we do know about cities are they are extremely dense. You know what I'm saying? A lot of times you see the the disparity up close in a city. Now there's disparity in a lot of places, but you really can see it in a city.
Speaker 4:But what you also see is the diversity of a city. Mhmm. And so,
Speaker 3:cities have,
Speaker 4:especially urban communities, everything that the suburbs have. Are you with me? We have people, we have love, we have hopes and dreams and fears and all that good stuff. It is different, but it's not so not so different. You know, a lot of times folks be like, you know what?
Speaker 4:We raising up leaders. I get where you're coming from. I know what you're saying. But the reality is there are a lot of leaders here, in our urban community. Matter of fact, we would not be where we are today without those leaders in our urban communities, helping us, as a people to navigate this wider world and understanding that a lot of the stuff is unjust.
Speaker 4:And, you know, people came before us to fight against a lot of these things, but you can still make it. Because in most of our communities, the primary relationship, for the most part in general, was about the vertical one. God gonna take care of all this. Saying? Yeah.
Speaker 4:And so put your faith and
Speaker 3:hope in him.
Speaker 4:You know, again, I was at this Bible study the other day and,
Speaker 3:they were like,
Speaker 4:well, what? What? How does how does heaven impact your behavior? How does the thought and the knowledge that those who put their faith alone in Christ alone will see him one day in heaven? How does that impact your life?
Speaker 4:And I said, well, for a lot of us, as the people going through civil rights, it was the idea that, yes, this earth is not like it should be, but I live to live again. And because I do, I can fight against what's happening here because my hope is there. So that's all I have to say. Our urban communities are just like your community that you live in, you know, the suburbs. And that's where I really want to anchor on.
Speaker 4:I want to anchor on all the beauty, all the positiveness, all the, loving relationships, that are there, all the looking out for each other, the camaraderie, the resiliency, the relationships, the laughter, the joy, and all that good stuff. And so I start with that because I want folks to understand that ultimately, people are people all over the world. Okay? Amen.
Speaker 3:So if
Speaker 4:you travel outside of the country and you start talking to folks and they will start sharing with you the thing same things that you're concerned about. Yeah. They're concerned about their children and their spiritual life and what's going on around them and their their their their, auntie is sick. You know what I'm saying? Please pray for my auntie.
Speaker 4:My auntie's sick too. Hey. We got something in common. So we have a lot of things in common, but I need folks to know there's the differences. Things may not work the same for you as they work for me.
Speaker 5:That's right.
Speaker 4:And things don't work the same for me as they work for you. And so, you know, I got teammates and, you know, we will talk about how there are systems in our world and in our cities.
Speaker 3:And when
Speaker 4:I say systems, there's the educational system, criminal justice system, economic system, political system. Those systems were developed and grown with a lot of that information that we talked about earlier, that anthropology information and all that good stuff. Remember that? Mhmm. And these these systems were designed in a specific way.
Speaker 4:And so most folks, the system works well. You for you for you for
Speaker 2:For the majority.
Speaker 4:For the majority. For the dominant culture. The system works well. And because the system works well, you think, that's how the system works. Works well for everybody.
Speaker 4:It works
Speaker 3:well for everybody.
Speaker 1:That's what you see.
Speaker 4:That's what you see.
Speaker 3:What you
Speaker 4:know, similar to
Speaker 3:I was
Speaker 4:at a Bible study the other day. I'm all I'm at all these Bible studies.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And you're super spiritual.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I am. Yes. I am. But, I was sitting at the table and we were talking about something.
Speaker 4:And I was like, yeah, man. Y'all remember when we used to get free cheese and free, free ham and this and that? And they're looking at me like, what what are you talking about? I was like, you didn't get free cheese and you didn't get free government food? And it was like, no.
Speaker 4:We we didn't get the government food. We didn't even know government food was being passed out in their communities. I was like, oh, I thought growing up, everybody got free cheese and everybody got free food from the government. I thought everybody was on food stamps. And so that was because I thought my world was just like everybody else's.
Speaker 4:And similar to people who come from different areas think that the systems and the environment and the things that they grew up with was normal for everybody, and it's not. Wow. And so they bring that to the mentoring relationship. I mean, we bring that to any relationship. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 4:But in this particular context, they bring that to a mentoring relationship. And then when they real when they're sharing and they're talking and then they're getting if different information, they don't think they may not think rather that, oh, wait. My my my experience may be different from this person's experience. Now they know cerebellum. They know it's different, but they don't really know it's different.
Speaker 3:You know
Speaker 4:what I'm saying? They know that there's, you know, I'm I'm I'm this way and you're that way. There's some differences, but they don't really get into it. And so what I'm saying is, when you're in this relationship, oftentimes, it's so easy to just stay on the surface. We know that as adults in any relationship.
Speaker 4:You know what I'm saying? You can be in a boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance, whatever marriage relationship, and you can stay at the surface. Mhmm. But it takes work to get down deep.
Speaker 3:A lot
Speaker 4:of people don't wanna do that work. Yeah. I'm talking like I'm in the hood. But a lot of folks don't want to do that work.
Speaker 3:You know
Speaker 4:what I'm saying? That's the hard work.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Thanks, Carlton.
Speaker 4:Yes. Yeah. You got I I get Carlton on you. But that's what I'm really trying to share today. Yeah.
Speaker 4:That, you know, it's one thing to know the child. And it's one thing to ask the child specific questions. But the child is only going to be able to share with you from that child's perspective and from that child's, you know, you know, knowledge based on their years. But there are a lot of other forces that are coming at that child on a daily basis that you need to know about. And watch this now.
Speaker 4:Those same forces have different consequences on the child, that child's family, that child's community. You know what I'm saying? And all those different interactions play into that child's interaction with the mentor. So, for example, you may see, have a mental relationship, mental relationship, and the child is acting fidgety or just pay pretend that he doesn't, but not not paying attention to all good stuff. So normally, first thing, this child is bad.
Speaker 4:Right? Now we've learned a little bit. Now we understand that this child may be hungry because food and security is a valid issue in our our, our land. And then we might be like, oh, well, they just need more free lunch or whatever. Well, this child may be already on free lunch or may not be, but they may not have the adults in the home may not be gainfully employed.
Speaker 4:Right? And they may not gain be gainfully employed because they may have some, criminal background. They may have a criminal background because of the laws that were passed many years ago where you were getting locked up for little pieces of drugs. Okay? And so there's a whole bunch of systems at play, you know, that that have affected this child.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 4:You with me?
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah. You know
Speaker 4:what I'm saying? And oftentimes, we just look at the immediate, action and try to be like, oh, the child is acting up. He must be defiant. He's ODD or he's ADD. And we don't or, we don't take that time to, you know, really dig deep in all the other factors.
Speaker 4:You do know that there's such thing as PTSD. Right? But we often only know about it from our brothers and sisters who served in the military. Thank you for your service. But our children in a lot of urban communities have PTSD as well.
Speaker 4:Are you with me? Ask me how I know.
Speaker 1:How do you know?
Speaker 4:Because I think I got PTSD too. Yeah. I do too, man. Yeah. Exactly.
Speaker 4:You know, but the reality is, you know, when you look in our community and you see little kids walking around by themselves in in a in a community like ours, I mean, it's it's I'm afraid, you know, sometimes. And so a lot of, our children are growing up with a sense of anxiety, a sense of fear, a sense of not being secure, you know, and that plays into, that plays into their behavior. And so, what do you call it? Community safety, they got another word for it. But, you know, when you think about there's there's no significant police presence in a lot of urban communities.
Speaker 4:Okay. So let's just take those two things. So that lack of police presence means there probably or may be a feeling that develops that I'm not safe. Watch this now. This is another one.
Speaker 4:That no one cares enough for me, about me because there's no there none of good regular services that every other community has that can play into your mind as a child. If you're walking through distress or walking past the stress community the stress properties that can play into you, like, man, nobody wants to live here. Man, this is dilapidated. This is distress. All that plays into the behavior of the child, and then all of a sudden, they walk into 4 Runner.
Speaker 4:Metering, wonderful place. Oasis. You know, great people here, loving up on them. Right? And even in the best relationships, you can't stop what's happening in folks' minds.
Speaker 4:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:You know
Speaker 4:what I'm saying? So we may be having a good conversation, and all of a sudden, I start thinking about a traumatic experience, and my disposition may change. Now as an adult, I can self regulate, I hope. And, we could keep going with the conversation. But as a child, the interaction could be wonderful.
Speaker 4:But if something comes up in my mind Mhmm. Or in my heart, you know what I'm saying? I have a flashback or I start thinking about what I'm going back to, it may affect the interaction that we have right now.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:And if you are really not aware of all the variables that's going on in my life, in my family, in my community, in my culture Wow. Then you may make an assessment that's not based on, valid information. It's just based on, you know, this one interaction. So what I'm saying today is that I just feel it's important for all of us that minister and desire to serve kids and families in a in in urban communities to not only, get deep and involved in the life of the individual, but also understand that if that individual is from a subdominant culture, that that individual has other variables that are affecting them in this relationship. And there's immediate variables, but there's also historical variables.
Speaker 4:Wow. Okay. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 1:That's really good.
Speaker 4:Now all that takes work. That ain't no, like, what our class. Right. You know what
Speaker 1:I'm saying? Like, one conversation.
Speaker 4:One conversation. But, you know, some folks come with a natural posture to do that. Right. And some folks come with a they don't have a posture to do that, and that's fine. You know, everybody's made differently.
Speaker 4:But all I think we it's it's it's coming upon us to be, like, sharing this information. Like, you know, thank you so much for mentoring. Thank you so much for being a part of my this child's life. We love that. Blah blah blah.
Speaker 4:Blue blue blue. But here's some resources to help you understand a little bit more about, you know, the urban community, you know, the the black experience in America. Now watch this. Now you're gonna love this one. What's the demographics of your, students that you serve?
Speaker 4:I mean, African American, Hispanic.
Speaker 5:Yeah, they're they're mostly African American.
Speaker 4:Okay. Alright. So that's that's cool. So there's a lot of information there, readily accessible. But there are also, you know, my Hispanic brothers and sisters, that the, researchers say will be the predominant, dominant culture, in a few years.
Speaker 4:Mhmm. And so with with that knowledge, we need to be equipping ourselves about the Hispanic experience. Most of us, myself included, are ignorant of that. And all we know Yeah. Is what we see on TV, you know Totally.
Speaker 4:And what we may hear from, interaction for with one of our Hispanic brothers and sisters, which many of us may not have a lot of of those folks in our lives.
Speaker 2:So So the source of our information matters.
Speaker 4:Yes. The source of your information matters, and that's another point. You know, that's a good point too. You know, as we are sharing with our mentors, we get need to make sure that there are credible sources of information. You just can't be Googling.
Speaker 4:You know what I'm saying? And think that what you see on here is is a and all be all as far as, you know, the black experience or the minority experience or anybody's experience. You know, and and and similar to, last thing, I'm I'm not talking a lot. No, this is
Speaker 3:not a good
Speaker 4:idea. I'm a grown man with beard, with gray hair and my beard. And I do a lot one of the things I enjoy to do, enjoy doing is reflecting, self reflecting. But even as much as I do personally, there's still a lot more to do. And I'm like, man, I do this a lot.
Speaker 4:I just, I wonder if other people do it as well. You know, because I'm still trying to be culturally, sensitive, you know, and culturally responsive to the people that I serve. And that's ultimately what we're trying to say as well. Yeah. You know, we may need some cultural sensitivity training.
Speaker 4:You see the you see the trend in our society. Diversity, equity, and inclusion is a is a is a little phrase that you're hearing a lot because a lot of folks in our in our world now are saying, wait a minute, diversity is not a bad thing. You
Speaker 3:know what
Speaker 4:I'm saying? Equity. Well, everybody's realizing that there's a whole lot of haves and a whole lot of have nots. And let's try to figure out how to work how to work this thing and inclusion. You know what?
Speaker 4:Over time, there's been a lot of people that has been excluded from different conversations. And so that's the trend now. You know, diversity, equity, inclusion, and, you know, we just need to make ourselves aware. And that and I say all that to say because the trend is that now. So, you know, one way to introduce it to our people, our friends, is, hey, let's learn a little bit more about diversity, you know, or the diverse ethnicities out there.
Speaker 4:You know, we know of them. But do we know?
Speaker 2:Yeah. You know?
Speaker 4:Yeah. So anyway.
Speaker 2:Well, can I can I ask a question about I mean, the the mentee and his family are the experts on their experience? That's a good resource for the mentor to come to learn. Mhmm. Where does that What I've heard before is that you don't want to, in your search for knowledge, burden someone for the the information and the research that you should be doing personally to kinda engage in the urban context or in a that's different from your own experience. And so what would you say?
Speaker 2:Is there any danger? Does that make sense? Mhmm, absolutely. So, you know, in everything there's danger.
Speaker 3:You know what
Speaker 4:I'm saying? But I would caution, folks that approach it that way is that everybody's experience is different. You know? So, you know, I could be in a community and we all could be the same or the same block, but each individual household experience is different. So, yes, I would encourage that mentor to get deep into that mentee's family and experience all that good stuff in a genuine way.
Speaker 4:But also understand, just like anything else, that represents one particular experience. There will be a whole lot of similarities probably of other folks' experience, but there'll probably be some uniquenesses as well and understanding which one is which. You know, saying that takes discernment, that takes, you know, time, because, you know, they'll tell you that, you know, nobody can get a job. And you be like, man, that's some justice. Nobody can get a job.
Speaker 4:And then you just start digging deeper and you'd be like, wait a minute. You're not applying for any jobs.
Speaker 3:You know
Speaker 4:what I'm saying? You haven't applied for a job in a long time. And what's the deal with that? Oh, I can't. Why can't you?
Speaker 4:Well, blah blah blah. Then you realize, oh, that particular person may not have transportation. And that may be why they haven't, applied for a job because you know as well as I know that transportation is a valid issue for a lot of folks who want to work. A lot of jobs are in the in the burbs that may not offer transportation. So, you know, they'll make a blank people will make a blanket statement.
Speaker 4:I can't nobody can find a job, blah, blah, blah. And if I'm not careful, I'll take that blanket general statement and then, ascribe it to everybody.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:And it's not everybody. It's just that one particular family. So there's a value and a beauty in getting to know your family, but also being able to discern what is particular to that family and what is cultural, what is watch this now. What is just in that particular community? What is regional?
Speaker 4:Okay. Because there's some different issues in the north than there are in the south, you know, for the same demographic. Okay. So, anyway, so all that good. That's helpful.
Speaker 4:Well, you're welcome. That's why I'm here. But, all that, you know, came up comes over time, you know, and and there's no quick fix.
Speaker 3:You know?
Speaker 4:But and I know this because I'm still learning. I'm still growing. I'm still developing. And so, you know, we rely 130,000 percent on the Holy Spirit. Okay?
Speaker 4:Because we are all we have all put our faith alone in Christ alone. At the end of the day, we exist to do what we do to make him known and great in the lives of the people that we serve. Yeah. And I believe that the Lord will honor our actions and help us be the best mentor to the mentees that we can. But I believe as we rely 2,000 oh, wait.
Speaker 4:I just said 130,000 percent. But 2,000 percent on the spirits leading and urging and and guiding and discerning discernment and all that good stuff. I think he'll he'll lead us, in the in the path that we should go. And even with that, watch that. Even with that, we're still gonna make mistakes.
Speaker 4:You know what I'm saying? But we believe that it's all in the Lord's plan. Amen.
Speaker 3:That's good.
Speaker 1:In some ways, you're a mentor and mentee relationship that is coming from 2 different worlds. You are you're bridging the those worlds and it might just be one relationship. But how would a mentor kind of navigate appropriately One mentor exposing him, herself to the mentee's world, but then also bringing the mentee into theirs. Like, how I guess, will you just kind of lean into what that looks like and just a good balance and what you've seen that works and just what what is appropriate, what isn't, and just kinda help us understand a little bit more of how to do that well.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good question.
Speaker 4:You know, I think we're all learning how to do that well.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Totally.
Speaker 4:But, you know, as we talked about earlier, a lot of times, you know, the mentor, interacts with the mentee, like they're with with their child. But most parents know what their child can handle and what their child cannot handle. And so, you know, most of us when we're going to the airport wouldn't give our child a 50 pound bag Yeah. Because we know they can't handle it. And, even it doesn't matter how often and how long or how loud the child asks, we know that that bag is too heavy, so we won't give it to them.
Speaker 4:Unfortunately, a lot of times in the mentor mentee relationship, especially when it's first starting out, the mentor wants to be, like, so bad that they give the mentee the 50 pound bag. Okay? And they know this is too much information. TMI, is 50 pound weights. But because they want to start off well and they want to make it nice and good, they overshare.
Speaker 4:Mhmm. Okay. And a lot of times, you know, I think their sharing is often what they have, what they where they went for vacation. You know what I'm saying? You know, this their lifestyle.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 4:And then how they get it? How how they do they do? And again, in effort to build a relationship. But that may be too heavy, for the child. Not too heavy to understand, but too heavy, like, wait a minute.
Speaker 4:Your life is vastly different from mine.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 4:You have no idea about my life. So that may inadvertently cause initial strain in a relationship because there's obviously no disconnect. That's gonna be a disconnect. So you start talking about some ski resorts, and they'd be like, skis. What what's that?
Speaker 4:You know, I think I'm a grown man. I've been skiing ski, on the slopes twice. Once maybe. So anyway, that's a challenge. So, just knowing what to share.
Speaker 4:But also,
Speaker 2:we had a mentor that pointed at his apartment and,
Speaker 4:it was like a high rise. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And his his mentee thought that he owned the whole building. Oh. He was like, how did you get enough money to own a 30 story building? And he was like, no, I just I just live in one of those rooms up there, but.
Speaker 4:Yeah. And that's a good that's a good illustration as well because, you know, sometimes we are thinking we're talking about the same thing, and we're not. You know, I have that problem even today. With
Speaker 2:your wife, maybe?
Speaker 4:I wasn't gonna say that.
Speaker 2:So I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:Now why
Speaker 4:are you gonna put that?
Speaker 3:Oh, it sounds like Steven's got
Speaker 4:some issues.
Speaker 5:Exactly. Thank
Speaker 4:you, brother. You know what I'm saying? I'll be projecting that on me. It's me.
Speaker 2:It's my wife and I
Speaker 4:who's yeah.
Speaker 5:I gotta pay for some counseling.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Exactly. I'll pitch in.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 4:But, you know, I tell my team all the time. You know, I have a a a individual on my team, and, we are from vastly different backgrounds. And we look at life differently. And that's the beauty of the relationship because, you know, iron sharpens iron, you know, and even though she's a female, she can still sharpen iron and all that good stuff. We see things differently.
Speaker 4:So a lot of times we think we're talking about the same thing.
Speaker 1:Totally. And we are not. Just totally missing them.
Speaker 4:Yes. Yeah. Yes. And, I mean, it's amazing. And we really are intentional about saying, okay, stop.
Speaker 4:What are you talking about?
Speaker 3:You know
Speaker 4:what I'm saying? And, you know, I mean, this is real deal, only feel life. Yes. So if we're having it as adults, most definitely it happens as a child. You know, oftentimes, when I tell my children something, I'm thinking from an adult perspective, blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 4:They're coming from their perspective. And although we're talking about the same thing, if we receive it and interpret it, That's the difference. So that's, something that we need to be concerned about. But, ultimately, I think, again, when we approach it in a genuine way, wanting to learn, wanting to build relationship, and be very, very, very prayerful, I think the Lord will lead us in the way that we should go. But, you know, I would caution about oversharing and I would caution about being, being wanting to be the fix it man because oftentimes, you know,
Speaker 1:we want to. Right. Yeah.
Speaker 4:We wouldn't be in the roles that we were in now if we didn't have a little bit of the fix it man too. Right.
Speaker 3:You know what
Speaker 4:I'm saying?
Speaker 1:And it can be totally well intended.
Speaker 4:Exactly. Exactly.
Speaker 3:You know
Speaker 4:what I'm saying? And so if we go overboard with it Right. You know, we can, start not only oversharing, but, you know, trying to get too deep, real, too fast. So it's like, it's one of those things. You just have to have a
Speaker 1:A balance.
Speaker 4:Balance and be have a discernment and fight against the, you know, you know, a lot of times sometimes rather, you know, the family may be like, oh, yeah. I got one. You know what I'm saying? And they'd be like, yeah. My sneakers are are are busted up, and I need a new pair.
Speaker 4:And then and then the mentor is like, you know, who's had the resources. Like, oh, okay. Yeah. I can help. And here comes the brand new pair of shoes.
Speaker 4:Well, next week, you know and again, I'm not saying that, you know, a lot of that's, you know, not true. But I'm saying in an effort to be the savior, Santa Claus instead. Yeah. You're changing the expectation of the relationship. Exactly.
Speaker 2:I'm feeling the connection with, I mean, urban sociology
Speaker 4:as a whole.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. You're talking about the the complications that come with short term solutions that are addressing a surface level problem where a mentor can fall into that same trap of creating a short term solution for a problem he's seeing on the surface, connecting to the underlying things that a kid is processing and working through.
Speaker 4:Absolutely. And I have friends who have done that. They experienced it. Watch this. Now you're gonna love this, Steven.
Speaker 4:A lot of people have seen the movie, The Blind Side. And, they believe that every interaction turns out that way. And so we I've
Speaker 2:never seen it, but I kinda know the story.
Speaker 5:You've never seen The Blind Side? Mm-mm. Man, homework this weekend. Watched the blind side.
Speaker 4:But I got a good friend of ours, you know, who he is very transparent and he thought that and he'll he'll be the first one to tell you. I thought that I could be the blind side in this young person's life. And so he was doing these things in an effort to help. And it just got it got more and more and more and more and more bigger and bigger and bigger, you know, from financial. Anyway, unhealthy.
Speaker 4:Yes. But again, with his desire to help. One of the things he said to me is that, through that experience, he realized that although he was trying to do his best child who's been with for a long time, interacting with the family, who he's grown to love and develop, he has seen the impact of the systems and how they progress in the lives
Speaker 3:of a particular, ethnicity,
Speaker 4:the family he was supporting. And that that was like, I I couldn't have taught you that. You know what I'm saying? Because we we try to share like, yes, you can have a great one on one relationship, but there are other things in our world that you don't see that are valid and visible and tangible in our lives. Yes.
Speaker 4:You know? And so, you know, for example, you know, this particular individual got into the criminal justice system. And so for some people, you just pay your money, you get out, and it's all a gravy train. But for other people, even if you pay your money, it just keeps going, it keeps going, it keeps going, and you're never really out. Mhmm.
Speaker 4:And then because you're in, that dictates how the rest of your life is going to be viewed and the opportunities that you have
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 4:Based on that record. And so, you know, as someone who has is very, resource very well resourced, no amount of money can really pull you out of that system if the system wants to have you.
Speaker 5:Wow.
Speaker 4:And that's a real deal holy feel reality. You know? And so when people realize that every interaction is not gonna be like the blind side, And they realize that most of these interactions are not like the blind side. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Speaker 4:That could be very disillusioning to a lot of people. Very disheartening. You know? Very, like, shocking. And they're not prepared for that.
Speaker 4:They're not prepared for the fact that you can't solve these problems. Okay? Because they are bigger than you, way bigger than you. Watch this now. Then when you realize, oh, I indirectly help perpetuate some of these issues Wow.
Speaker 4:And systems that I may have fighting against, but I'm on a different level. You see what I'm saying? You know? Mhmm. And then you're, like, wait.
Speaker 4:Not only to me, but my group and the folks I roll with, you know. And this is how we've been taught, and this is what we've done. Anyway anyway, it could get it could get deep. Not everybody goes that deep. But I'm just sharing how, you know, if you're not prepared to understand the effects of these urban issues on the lives of the urban folks.
Speaker 4:It could be, you know, difficult to reckon with.
Speaker 5:Yeah. Well, and Ed, I mean, like, that's that's why we're on this podcast. I mean, me and my wife took in a kid who was African American. You know, me and I mean, I'm Hispanic, but I've got a wife who's white. And we, for all intents and purposes, live in a culture that's white.
Speaker 5:And I know, you know, that things are different, you know, da da da. But I didn't know it until I watched how people watched the kid who we took in, our son, how people watched him. I didn't know it until we went into a church, and I watched how people spoke to him. I watched how people watched him. And then he got put into the criminal justice system, and I just watched how he was treated.
Speaker 5:And now that he's out, I watch how extremely difficult it is for him to provide for his family. Now he's 23 and he's got a couple of girls, but he can't find a job. And I'm experiencing all of this. And throughout that entire process, the Lord revealed my fix it mentality. The fact that I, without even knowing it, tried to be his savior.
Speaker 5:And I tried to come in and I tried to transform him into who I thought he should be. I tried to convert him, and and I tried to give him education, and I tried to give him all of these things, and I missed it. And, ma'am, I can see that now. And so that is why this podcast exists. It's because the entire time that I have been mentoring, my heart has been good.
Speaker 5:My heart has been pure. But sometimes, my good intentions were really perpetuating an issue that was so much bigger than what I thought it was. And I thought I was helping and I was really hurting. And so, man, that's real. I mean, that is real life.
Speaker 5:And that's why everything that you just talked about, Ed, is just it's so vital if we're gonna be mentoring kids, specifically kids who come from hard places, that we come first to learn and that we listen and that we do our homework and that we take this seriously because it's a whole lot bigger than just hanging out with the kid for an hour. It's a whole lot bigger than just taking them to go play basketball. And just, you know, so yeah. And with
Speaker 4:that being said, I do want to applaud those who get involved. Yeah. Because that's a choice. That choice. And so, you know, none of us are perfect.
Speaker 4:We all Yeah. Follow the perfect one. And, his name is Jesus.
Speaker 5:Dear lord, thank you for Ed Franklin. God, thank you for speaking through him today. God, I just pray that every person who's mentoring, who's, tuning into this podcast can learn more about how to serve your people who you love like you. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you for Ed.
Speaker 5:I just pray a blessing over him and over his family and over all that they're doing in West Allis. Lord, thank you. In Jesus name we pray,
Speaker 4:amen. Amen. Amen.
Speaker 2:We hope you enjoyed today's episode with Edward Franklin from Voice of Hope Ministries. I wanna encourage you to check our show notes so you can see how to connect with Edward Franklin and Voice of Hope. Today's episode hits on some topics that I think are very beneficial for us to discuss in more detail. And so I'm I'm excited about having Edward Franklin back on the podcast and he's also recommending a few people for us to have on. So get excited about more content like today's conversation.
Speaker 2:If you like today's episode, please share it on your social media. And if there's nothing you picked up from today's episode, we hope it would be this, You Can Mentor.