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Join Rem and Alvia as they navigate the joys and perils of adulthood as a married millennial DINK couple in the Philippines, while also trying to break the stigma against the DINK lifestyle or being childless by choice. We tackle challenges like facing adult responsibilities, managing finances, growing careers, breaking generational traumas, generating social impact, cultivating relationships, and determining who should be washing the dishes.
DINKWAP stands for Dual-Income No Kids with a Podcast!
Are you a DINK, SINK, or DINK-curious? Join us at DINK Lifestyle Philippines.
The Dinkwap Show
You landed in
Batanis
That's it, I really put it
in my pocket
That's a lie,
that's a lie
The Dinkwap Show
I'm not a UV,
because when I get a jeep
You'll get rich
No,
because when I get a jeep, I'm an upper anti-polar
Oh my God, Lord
The trip is so long
The Dinkwap Show
Dual income, no kids, with a podcast
*Ding Dong
We
are your hosts, I'm Rem. I'm Alvia.
And for today's episode...
How old were you when you left home?
When we got married? 29.
You were only 29? Yes.
Okay. I was going to be 30 that year.
How old were you then? 29.
When we
were about to get married, your dad told us your age.
My son is 38 years old.
No!
No!
You're not 38 anymore.
Wow! I am so offended.
36.
You're 36 years old, right?
Wait.
I'm still in 2020.
Damn!
H
-Reveal.
My daughter
is 36 years old. Dad, please.
Please,
dad. - They didn't
expect me to get married.
At that age, they're already giving up.
But
I didn't expect or plan to get married.
I never planned to get married.
And if ever I get married, it should be at least 35 years old.
At least?
Yes. I don't want to get married early.
So, it happened.
Actually,
I don't remember.
It was in my 27.
And when I was 27, I didn't want to get
married.
But at that time, when I was 36 years old, that's when I also turned around.
Turned around.
Turned around.
Turned around.
You're getting old.
I'm getting old.
Let's go back to the soundbite.
When I
left the country, I was 36 years old.
How old are you now?
I'm 25. No, I'm 28 now.
My
Korean age has advanced.
-It's
I heard it just now. It's in my head.
I didn't hear it. Who told you that?
But there are those
expectations.
That's why I had to do the hard 35 years old.
If
I'm going to get married, I'll be at least 35 years old.
Because I don't want that. I don't want to follow that.
I was so stubborn. I just didn't want to.
So I made myself a minimum age.
If I ever get married, I need to be 35 years old.
At least 35
years old.
Okay.
But there's a reason behind that because I know life is hard.
Of course. That's true.
It's like in your early 20s, your wife and child are looking for you.
How?
I think, at least for me, I don't get fired from my parents.
But there are families that expect you to be away from them.
I think in the Philippines, not really.
No.
You'll be
away from them if you get married.
Yes.
I tried before, because I'm an anti-polo.
I
tried before when I was working in
Ortigas.
I
really don't want to be allowed to live in Ortigas. I don't want to be allowed to live there.
Lo and behold, you're living in Ortigas.
Yes, that's right.
You need to apply for marriage.
You're
not in Ortigas anymore.
Your address is not in Ortigas anymore.
So you're living in Ortigas now.
Yes.
Me too.
But I never dreamed of moving out.
Because I know that life is hard.
Admittedly, I was leeching off my parents.
But you were always at home, so you were just sleeping.
Yes,
I was just sleeping. And also, my work.
Oh, so you were working remotely.
Yes.
And also, my
room was put under a submitter.
So you weren't really a "paka". Yes, I
wasn't really a "paka". Yes, I contributed to my
house before.
But your dad retired,
right?
Of
course.
It's a bit of a shock.
I think in the Philippine context, less so.
But let's
say you're a Western
culture.
I think I'm 18.
Yeah, you're
already being forced.
It's like it's expected.
But at this stage, it's hard to do that.
Imagine if you're in a Philippine context, you'll still be in college.
It's hard in the Western context.
In the Philippines, your parents will be the ones to teach you.
Most of
the time.
In the US, the parents are the ones to teach you.
Is that so?
It's like that.
That's
hard. The tuition is expensive.
They didn't
loan.
That's
right.
The student should just loan
and
I'm only 12 years old and I'm already working.
Isn't that child labor?
What are you talking about?
I don't think that's right.
That's what they say on the
farm.
They
say that they will remove the subsidies.
They will remove the lunch subsidies from their farms.
Because there's a lot of chaos right now.
When will this episode be uploaded?
But at the time of this recording,
it
was Trump's first weeks.
So
it was like, "cost cutting"
But the
government's
funding for projects was stopped.
So
that's one of the things that will
stop
the food
subsidy.
Because
he's
already working
since
2008.
"The
kids should work so they can have lunch money."
What the heck?
That's what the person said.
Are you hearing yourself?
No?
I don't know.
But
to
be
fair,
at least from what I know,
you can find work when you're a teenager.
Oh, right.
But
there's no part-time job here.
The people in
But that's their youth. They have time to be young, to be children.
And you'll touch them early.
But because of it, if it's just me, even if I want to leave, I'll have a hard time.
You're
the one who's going to get better. You told your parents.
No, it's roommates.
It's like roommates.
So
technically,
you'll just pay the rent divided by 3,
divided by 4.
It's not that big.
Including food?
Because your food,
when you work,
you almost have nothing at home.
So your food is also...
I've lowered it.
Because it's to save money.
The salary
is expensive.
You can save everything
For your-- - Well, we don't have any.
Oh, right. I have one.
Also,
do
you buy the fish that makes the fish stew?
Sometimes. It's cheaper.
Also, we have a subsidized
canteen.
So, there was a
fight. But
I feel like if I had left, it would have been harder for me to invest in other
things.
Actually,
what
I thought back then, it was a huge time for me to lose my commute.
That's right.
I used
to have a VA side gig.
Sometimes, I couldn't do that side gig because I was tired.
So it would be a waste because I only see 4K videos per month.
So I'm trying to compute my travel time.
I don't want to be just a side gig.
You ride in the shuttle of the company.
Which is late.
It's not that late. It's only one hour.
But even so, you guys were already in traffic.
I left my house at 4 am
on the
dot.
Because I know that if I pass, it's hard for me.
But if I'm on the dot, I'll be home in 30 minutes.
Although, that's anti-pollution.
For me, I'm still upper in anti-pollution.
So the difference in commute is not that big.
At least, I slept in the shuttle.
That's also why I took shuttle again.
Because at least, it's just one ride.
Because when I commute, it's a
minimum
of 3 rides.
It's not that much.
Sometimes it's
4 or 5.
So it's not that fun. But I'm quick to go home.
Because in my
early years
as a professional, I play games.
And when
you're in the office, you're still sleepy.
The next day,
you'll be like that.
But do you think that the current generation will be able to get out of this?
Maybe. Because it's harder now.
Because I imagine that we always say that
our
salaries are low.
But
we can travel. We can go out after work.
You only.
Hey,
you're with me when I drink.
No, I mean travel.
I travel too.
I'm just a local.
I'm just a local too.
But I don't travel by airplane.
I just land.
You landed
in Batanes?
That's it. I really learned
that.
You're so lying.
What's the name of your t-shirt?
They lied
to you.
But that year, when I got my
Batanis, I
somehow got 10k more.
But it's
different.
Aside from the previous one, the airplane travel, you can get around 700 pesos.
That's right.
It's
a round trip.
Yes.
So it's like a bus ticket. It's cheaper.
Our Batanis was 7k, you can get it back.
You don't get that anymore.
You don't get
that anymore.
Impossible.
-Batanes is expensive. -Yeah.
I feel like it was cheaper back then.
Even in terms of food,
we don't always
eat outside because there's a canteen.
But at least weekly, maybe?
It's like it can be sustained.
-And it's cheaper to mimic.
-That's
right.
The syntax is not that...
And there are a lot of places that you can go to in Ortega, so you won't be late.
But at least, I prefer the syntax.
I'm forced to not drink.
We still drink.
But I'm
an extrovert. I was an extrovert when I was a kid.
That's
one of the reasons why I want to stay in Ortega.
I had a hard time finding
a job.
It's not that hard. And when I go home to my parents, there's a curfew and I can't find where I am.
That's my primary motivation.
I can afford it.
It's just a small amount.
But when I discovered the shuttle, the difference was huge.
I had no choice.
How much did you save?
Let's say the minimum is 7 pesos.
7, 14, plus 10, 24 pesos.
I
love
the UV light. So 50 per day.
Plus tricycle.
The tricycle is expensive.
times
30 is 600 per
month.
For
me,
120 per day.
So, what else?
Tag here.
I'll still compute.
He didn't get ready.
No.
But, in total, it's only one bucket.
No, it's not for me.
Rem said it's a jeep.
For me, it's a UV.
Because when I ride a jeep,
No, because when
I ride a jeep,
I'm like an upper antipolo.
Oh my God.
I mean, you're traveling. And you have more chances in the UV.
Actually, it's hard driving in
Because if
you keep
them together, it's over.
Even if there's a P2P in the middle,
the queue is still long.
As in, it's like...
It's
like they've been evicted.
But...
It's hard.
Life is hard.
So,
summa
total, life is hard.
I think it's more difficult now.
It's really hard.
Let's call it that.
So, the...
How much did you pay for your expenses?
When I was looking for a condo, it was 12k and we could have 3 people.
So it was 4k.
That's
cheap.
Actually, there's a place like that.
Oh, here.
In Emerald.
Yes.
But it's small because it's just a sleeping place.
And for your food, you can eat 150 pesos per day.
Because before, you only had 50 pesos per meal.
If you're not eating in a canteen or if you're cooking,
you
can eat 150 to 100 pesos per day.
I'm only half rice.
Rice
is expensive.
I'm not really into meat. I
usually
eat vegetables and
fish.
Chicken.
I don't really like eating.
Except if I'm going to splurge on food.
Like
now, when
we eat.
I think I paid for 4, then 3, then 7, then 10.
How
much is your salary?
I think it's around 20.
20? That's a lot.
Yeah, something like that.
Wow, almost half
of it is gone.
You
don't have much to save. That's the
concern.
I thought about it, for example, you have 2-3 hours per week,
4-6
hours. You can do a side gig.
It's the same.
When
you walk there, you're on the side of the VA.
And the energy.
VA or...
I used to tutor.
It's big.
It's like 300 per hour.
You're with the pioneers of VA.
Yes.
But I didn't continue.
You
didn't continue.
I hope you're a guru now.
What did I do then?
I transferred to remote work after
that.
-Aah.
I was the one who applied for VA back then.
When they interviewed me, I didn't remember applying.
So I kind of winged it.
But like they said, that's the time when you can apply for VA even if you don't know anything.
Because they'll teach you.
But it's really easy.
Because back then, how much was I?
I think it was $10 per output.
Then it became $15 and $20.
It's big.
I'm big.
I'm also big.
Do you still get those?
I
don't think
so because it's saturated.
That's
why.
Because it's
easy to get in.
Discover.
It's not $10.
I think it's $5 to $10 per listing.
It's not R, right?
It's not R because
it's the output.
How many you can
submit.
That's where I learned about Asana.
Because I didn't get assigned.
Then, it's on Google Sheets.
They just
give you a link.
I don't know if we use software but I think it's the clickable version.
I'll just recommend the order.
Maybe you can just chat it up.
I'll
just order
something.
I think it's readable.
It's fast.
I
often talk to you guys.
My boss is in
Hawaii or
something.
It's also a low-gay. - Yeah, it's not that lucrative.
But I get it. Why would you pay for a big house?
But I also pay 4-5k per month.
It's also a big house, right?
It means they also earn money.
Yeah,
I mean, they can afford to pay 4
-5k.
Some random girl in the Philippines.
Sometimes, I get tired of my video call because I don't have a work desk.
But for our friends,
do
they ever feel pressured to move out?
The main house is far from home.
Like
in Des, right?
Their house is far from home. You can't commute to
their
house.
That's how I met them.
Some people
tried to rent a room in Laguna but they were tired.
So they really looked for a room.
Usually, those are the room that my husband rents.
Usually, those are the room that my husband rents.
Not boarding.
Either the room that my roommate rents or the room that my roommate rents.
The bedspacer.
Yes,
the bedspacer.
Because that's only 4K to 5K.
Then
you're
alone.
But it's like a shared bathroom,
shared kitchen.
But if you think about it, in your house, you don't have your own bathroom, right?
Unless, I don't know, you come from that section of the economy.
Where you have your own bathroom.
You have your own condo.
No,
the others have their own in their bedroom.
In
the bathroom.
Why?
We have our own.
No, but you share your brother's room, right?
Technically.
The others are
in their room.
Good
for
them.
We have 5 siblings and we only have one CR in
the
house.
I can't fight with you guys.
But we're
a family of 7 and we have a helper, let's say 8.
We have 3 CRs
in the house.
So, it's okay.
Some of
us are like, "Hurry up!"
We have 2
CRs and
we're
both full.
Just cry.
We were only four then.
You
were the one who stayed for a long time.
My father was with us.
Take your time.
You said you
can control it. Why?
On the other cases, their relationship with families wasn't good.
That's why they left immediately.
Actually, that's right. I also wanted to go there.
As soon as they were capable.
We established
it in the Philippine context.
I don't know, maybe they're not that pressured with the term.
They're not even pressured
with the term.
They're
just being independent.
I want to talk about why they don't want to have their children born.
Let's talk about that in the next episode.
So, thank you for watching or listening to another episode of the Dinkwap Show.
And we'll see you in the next episode.
Bye!
You were listening to The Dinkwap Show.