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Welcome to Healthcare Redefined: Advocating for Aging Adults and Their Families, where we empower families to navigate the complexities of aging and healthcare. Presented by Your Nurse Advocate Consulting, we share real stories, expert advice, and practical tools to help you and your loved ones confidently navigate aging with dignity.
We explore topics like creating collaborative care plans, demystifying Medicare, handling healthcare crises, and preparing for the future. Join us as we transform uncertainty into understanding.
Pam: [00:00:00] All right. Well, welcome back to Healthcare Redefined, advocating for aging adults and their families. We're continuing our season two conversation on getting your affairs in order. And today we're focusing on a topic that matters deeply to so many families. And that's aging in place.
Linda: [00:00:15] Yeah, that's really correct and absolutely important because in this episode, we're going to talk about non-medical home care, how it can reduce the day to day burden on family caregivers, and how it can help aged loved ones remain safe, supported, and comfortable at home. I'm Linda Kritikos.
Pam: [00:00:33] Hi, and I'm Pam Durnwald. For many families, the goal is not just helping someone stay at home longer, it's helping them stay there with dignity. Having the right support and also better quality of life.
Linda: [00:00:46] So today, we're honored to have been joined by Dianne Vitoka, MSN, RN, owner, president and Director of Nursing at Brightstar Care of Central DuPage of Wheaton. Diane has been a registered nurse for over 38 years, providing care and hospitals, pediatric settings, schools and home care. She joined Brightstar in 2013 as a director and became part owner of that same agency three years ago. She's especially passionate about dementia care after seeing both her grandmother and father battle this disease. Dianne is a dementia certified practitioner and is dedicated to helping clients age in place safely every single day.
Pam: [00:01:32] Before we begin, just a quick reminder today's conversation is for educational purposes only. It's not medical advice. Every family and every situation is different, so please reach out to a qualified healthcare professional for guidance based on your specific needs. And be sure to check the show notes for resources related to this episode. Dianne, I'm going to get us started. And if you could just take a few minutes and we're really glad you're here. So welcome to the podcast. And could you just take a few minutes and just share a little bit about your background for us?
Dianne: [00:02:07] So as you had mentioned, I've been an RN for about 38 years, the last 20 of those years in different facets of home care. I did start out in the pediatric realm, like most young nurses do. Had my kids young, being a nurse afforded me that flexibility to work nights, school nursing settings while they were in school. Started out doing pediatric at home and then joined a different home care agency doing that, but then also began to work with adults, adults in different settings or their home needing this non-medical support. And really, really just that became my passion. I loved and still love what we do and joined BrightStar. Kind of wrote my own job description there as the Director of Clinical Compliance. I think I was the first one in BrightStar with that title since the prior owner myself wrote that job description, dealing everything with policy and procedure, joint commission accreditation. And I've been there a long time this year, I think it'll mark 13 years this October. And three years ago prior owner decided to sell and now I am the 51% owner of BrightStar. I kind of figured, where am I going to go at this point, right? So I know it so well and love it so well. So every day is is a different journey.
Pam: [00:03:43] Well, thanks for sharing and thank you for what you do. And Diane, why let's jump right in. So why is aging in place really such an important goal for so many aging adults and their families?
Dianne: [00:03:58] Yeah, I think I just read somewhere that about 90% of seniors 65 years and older wish to age in place if they're not calling that term, telling their adult children, "I want to stay here" and, you know, think about think about our homes, even at our age, filled with memories, familiar objects, social connections, right, maybe with your neighbors or the church you attend, your routine. And I think that it's just a sense of comfort. Comfortable. And so as the aging adults are telling their children that that's their wish, and we hear it all the time when we meet with families, mom and dad want to stay home or they're very adamant about staying in their home. It's comfortable. They can be more independent, keep their daily routines as much as possible. Eat what they want to eat, sleep where they want to sleep. And, and it's just it's a sense of comfort and independence for them.
Pam: [00:05:01] Absolutely, and another thing that Linda and I hear frequently is, you know, we'll, we'll, when an aging adult pushes back about not wanting to leave home and, and all those things that you said are just so spot on. And the only thing I'd like to add to that is they often say to us, "I've spent my whole life paying for this house only, you know, so there's no way I'm leaving it. I've worked my whole life for this." And so that that becomes, you know, hard for them to leave as well. But what do you think, Dianne? What do you think families often misunderstand about non-medical home care the most? What questions usually come up?
Dianne: [00:05:43] Yeah. So I would say especially for the senior, the aging parent who maybe families are reaching out to us that they're concerned about. I would say first and foremost, their misconception is we're going to come in and kind of run the house for them, right? Or take away independence and the things that they want to do. So I'll often and I always joke and say, please don't tell my caregivers this, but I describe it as like a rent a daughter, right? Because quite frankly, we are contacted most by daughters or daughter in laws, right? That's what this task kind of falls to, to investigate help at home or what kind of support we can get in the home. And so I say, we're coming alongside you. We're not taking anything away. We're not going to be bossy and tell you what to do when we meet with families. It's a needs assessment. So we're really just trying to find out what they can do independently, what they need, stand by or verbal reminders to do and what kinds of things might need hands-on help to do. And we really tailor it towards what they need. And, and a lot of our clients sometimes were there one day a week, sometimes it's five days a week. We don't have a minimum at Brightstar. So it can be whatever they want, they need and want to start out with. And sometimes, honestly, the adult children will want a lot more than what we initially agree on because we're just trying to get their parent or parents to feel comfortable with the idea. And I tell them, it's not easy to have a stranger into your home, right?
Pam: [00:07:26] We hear that a lot. Yes. They're saying, well, my daughter can do it. And the daughter's sitting there going, right, like that. Yeah.
Pam: [00:07:34] Linda. Yeah.
Dianne: [00:07:35] So, yeah, you're right. You have your own job, your own responsibilities, your own kids, your own home to manage. And then you're flying over to manage mom or dad's home. My mom is two hours away from me. I have a BrightStar caregiver for her. She has diabetic neuropathy. She can't drive, doesn't need any help at home, but she likes to get out and go to Costco and shopping. And so every other week I have a BrightStar caregiver I pay for to have to get her out and go have lunch and go shopping.
Pam: [00:08:13] Nice.
Linda: [00:08:14] Because I can't do that. Yeah.
Pam: [00:08:18] Oh that's wonderful. Linda, I'm going to go ahead and for these next set of questions, I'm going to go ahead and turn it over to you.
Linda: [00:08:25] Okay. Dianne, we've talked about this before because there's always a lot of misunderstanding about what the term non-medical home care is or what home care is. A lot of times they use the word home care in relationship to meaning, you know, Medi-Cal certified or Medicare certified home health. So they don't always get it. So if you could just explain what non-medical home care is, what does that term actually mean? And what do people, when you ask them, you know, what is your understanding of this? Because I know you guys do that. What, what kind of responses do you get for that?
Dianne: [00:09:06] So non-medical. So the difference and we get that all the time when if they're calling looking for Medicare or it to be paid by Medicare, which this type of care is not, and I'll talk a little bit in a second, there are some ways that they can get some help in paying for services, but generally this is private pay out of pocket assistance. Home health or Medicare agencies, so to speak. They're episodic. Right. The doctor will order them for a fall after a hospitalization, an infection, some kind of hopefully 'goals met' that they can reach back to independence, some kind of episodic need for that skilled care. The non-medical care, what we do primarily comes into play. It's not episodic. It's long term, right? We're talking about starting out minimally or slow. And sometimes clients end up needing a live-in or 24 hour care to keep them safe at home, especially with diagnoses like dementia and things like that. So that non-medical care, I mean, I, I loosely throw around what rent a daughter, but it's coming alongside the client and the family in doing those activities of daily living assistance or standby for safety, showering, dressing, medication reminders, bathing or absolutely, laundry assistance, meal prep and planning, helping them to get dressed. A big one, encouraging them to change their clothes every so often. Things like that fall into that realm. And very often when we're called, it may be because the client already has home health or hospice in place, but suddenly realizes that they're not providing more than the visit, which is an hour or so focused on one need. And if more than that is needed, that's when the non-medical help comes into play.
Linda: [00:11:26] That is actually a very, very good explanation of that. It really is. So how can this type of care help reduce the burden on family caregivers?
Dianne: [00:11:39] So yeah, when we are called and we meet and usually, like I said, it is a family member, a son or a daughter phoning us, it's because they're burning the wick at both ends. Or, you know, when they're at work, they're realizing they just want somebody to check on mom or dad or whomever that is. Sometimes we have one client that we just see periodically every few months when the daughter goes on vacation because she can't check on mom daily to make sure that she's had her meal, she hasn't fallen and she's taking her medications. So I think that a huge, just maybe not always a burden relief, but just a sense of security that you can focus on your job because somebody from BrightStar is with mom or dad.
Pam: [00:12:36] Right. I think it decreases the overall stress load because I think a lot of care, a lot of family caregivers feel a lot of guilt because they can't be there all the time. So knowing that someone is there, providing safe quality care, I think really does decrease that overwhelming stress load that they can feel by being that caregiver.
Dianne: [00:13:00] Right. And then, of course, the hands on care sometimes comes into play. If a client is on hospice or bedbound, in a hospice situation at the end of life, and that family just wants to be a family member to just be a daughter and not do the hands on turning, repositioning kind of care. And that's often when we can provide a non-medical caregiver to do that as well.
Linda: [00:13:28] Which is really a great service. I mean, it's really great. I can't stress how much I respect what you do. So in your opinion, when do you think families should begin exploring home care services? Should they wait until a crisis happens?
Dianne: [00:13:52] We get the call from the emergency room. "How soon can we set up services?" And we do the best we can. I mean, we have, you know, set up for DocuSign to get all the paperwork immediately online. And I've done emergency assessments by phone until we can get somebody there. So, but I would say it's never too early. And like you said before, an emergency happens it's hard to begin having those conversations or any conversations because there is probably going to be resistance at first and in most situations. So but kind of just having that heart to heart And sometimes when we're there, we call it a living room visit. But when we're there in the home explaining what we do. But I've had daughters or sons just break down saying, "I'm worried about you and I can't be here 100% of the time. So it would give me a sense of relief if you would allow somebody from BrightStar just to be here when I can". And sometimes a lot of times that works.
Linda: [00:15:01] Yeah, I could see that. I can see that. And I think those living room visits for that information is really important to kind of break as an icebreaker in regards to getting them on board with that. Because a lot of older individuals, clients, Pam and I can tell you that they, a lot of people do not want strangers in their home. They do not want anybody else in their home. They have their routine. They don't need any help. They can do it on their own. I've lived here 80 some years. I don't need anybody's help.
Dianne: [00:15:31] So yeah. And it is hard and we do get to, well, what are we going to do when we're here, you know, and so, you know, that's hard. And sometimes it's just sitting there in case you need something, which is, you know, hard to explain to them. But the big thing I try to tell them, we're not here to change your routine or to tell you what to do. Right? Because I often get, well, I don't need a babysitter, right? They're reverting back to that. And that's not what this is. So I really try to, what activities do you like to do if it's going out and walking with you or filling up the bird feeders or doing puzzles or just trying to get that socialization is so important. Trying to find that rather than just focusing on the help or assistance that they may not or may not realize they need or want to admit they need.
Pam: [00:16:26] Yeah. And I'm just going to throw in one question before we go to the the next section on this because and the reason why I bring this up is I recently had this happen with one of my clients who was very, very hesitant to have someone come in her home. She felt it was an intrusion. The adult children really wanted her to have someone, and she finally accepted. When she got really attached. She had one for a few weeks and all of a sudden then the schedule fell apart and she was getting a new person every week and she ended up canceling them. So. How important or or what? I mean, how important do you feel, Diane, to try and keep continuity of care, especially with a client that's maybe a little bit reluctant to accept care.
Dianne: [00:17:08] Absolutely. And especially at the beginning. But if it works out and it's good compatibility, absolutely we want to sustain that. I think we just had a client pass away recently, but that caregiver had been with them for three years. Wow. So I'm not going to sit here and tell you we're perfect. No agency is. We do have caregivers that have to change their schedule to go back to school or they're moving, for whatever reason. But we ask them just to give us enough preparation time and notice that we can prepare the family and the client as best we can. So we do a lot of if that's going to happen, a lot of overlapping. We'll not charge the client for it, but pay for that second caregiver to come in with the first caregiver that they know so well together, kind of like, this is my coworker, my friend, you know, whatever that is.
Pam: [00:18:11] But yeah, kind of talking up the next person. That's a great technique. And, and kudos to you for doing that because I, I'm sure a lot of other agencies don't do that. It's an extra cost to you. But again, you're putting the client ahead of some of the corporate type things. Yeah. It's important.
Dianne: [00:18:27] So when I became owner, that's one thing I told my schedulers, I don't hesitate to offer to the family. We'll overlap so that everybody feels comfortable for one, two shifts, whatever it is. And it's worked pretty well because things do happen. Right. Changes in schedule occur. We don't have our caregivers forever as much as we wish we did. So we think that that's really important and it's been successful.
Linda: [00:18:58] Yeah. I think that philosophy of those warm introductions, I think helps make, make, decrease the stress. Because I had a client, I want to say about a year ago, and she had private caregiving services through an entity and she had an issue or the agency had an issue with staffing. So they flipped out for another caregiver. And she had had this caregiver for about four months, and then they looked out for another caregiver. Never told her that the caregiver changed. Somebody else showed up at her door and she's like, well, who are you? She goes, well, I'm here to take care of you. Well, well, who are you? I've never met you before. She wouldn't let her in. In fact, she called the agency and said, what happened? Why wasn't I made aware of this? So it. I think there's something about it's respect, I think, for the client to be able to provide that level of respect and courtesy to do those types of warm introductions for people.
Dianne: [00:19:58] Yeah, I agree and, and letting not just the client know, but also the family member, right? We always ask for a responsible contact, whether it be that daughter or that son, but letting them know because often they want to be present, if we know ahead of time that that's going to happen. So in this job, communication is everything. Even when it hasn't gone right, we need to admit what happened and what we could have done better going forward. So.
Linda: [00:20:29] Pam, you want to take over?
Pam: [00:20:31] Sure. So, Diane, for these next set of questions, we're just going to want to focus on, some signs, how to make a family, those adult children aware that maybe it's time to get some help in the home. We want to also approach it with how or why they should not feel guilty asking for help, whether it's the aging adult or the adult children, because for different reasons, they may both be hesitating about asking for help. So we'll start with what are some of the signs? And I know we're going to include it in the show notes. We have a little guide on this 11 Signs Your Aging Parent May Need to Help in the Home, but Dianne, could you walk us through some of those signs that an aging loved one may or the children may notice that may indicate that they may need some extra help at home?
Dianne: [00:21:20] So some of the big reasons why families will call our office looking for information or help is possibly frequent hospitalizations. Be that after falls or infections may be caused by poor hygiene, weight loss, right. Not eating, not being able to cook anymore for themselves, missing medications, important medications. And that kind of leads into a little bit of the fall risk. We just recently had one that the son just signed up for because mom's calling him at work like 20 times a day, forgetting that he's at work and he's busy. And what is he doing? Where are you? And that's with dementia. So he's just wanting somebody there to remind her. He's tried the whiteboard, the calendar. You know, none of that is working. And I think maybe just loneliness, on top of the dementia. So I didn't have privy to the list that you may have.
Pam: [00:22:32] So no, no, that's okay.
Dianne: [00:22:34] Hit any of those. But those are some of the things that we commonly have people call us for that they're just concerned.
Pam: [00:22:43] Yeah. Those are all good things. And like I said, we just will have that list in the show notes so everybody will have access to that. So Dianne, what common mistakes do you see families making when they've possibly waited too long to reach out to get some extra help in the home?
Dianne: [00:23:00] So especially in light of dementia, if, if it's not something that's presented early for the client to get used to somebody that can be quite challenging with certain behaviors, like the locking them out of the house, not answering the door to let anybody in type of things. If it's just too far that they're just not going to accept help at all. Obviously fall risk, right? You know, part of what we do is we can refer to an OT we work well with for home modifications, but if the home is not safe and I always say the elderly, one fall away from a hip fracture and that's not good. That's nine times out of ten, that's a bedbound situation if it doesn't heal properly, depending on the age. So and then that's a different level of care and probably not suitable for home anymore unless you're paying for around the clock care, which at that point may be too costly. So, you know, even in my mom's situation, I hope she never gets to that point where she needs care, but she's already used to a BrightStar caregiver coming in to socialize with her and take her out. And she's comfortable with that idea. And so I don't think it's ever too early to start with whatever that need may be. And it may not be something consistent. Like we have plenty that it's just when the family's out of town on vacation or have a big event going on and just want to make sure that somebody's there in case for mom or dad. So starting out small is perfectly fine.
Pam: [00:24:57] So it sounds like it's really flexible to meet the needs of the family.
Dianne: [00:25:01] We do an hour a week, to around the clock, 24 hours. So it can be whatever is needed at that moment in time.
Pam: [00:25:11] Wonderful. Let's kind of shift back from the adult children to that aging adult. Do you have in your experience, Dianne, do you have any words of wisdom or any ways that maybe those adult children can introduce the idea of home care in a respectful way to their aging parents?
Dianne: [00:25:32] Yeah. So like I said, I often think what works best is I don't like to really call it pulling the sympathy card because it's true. But just letting them know how much I love you and care about you, but I don't feel like I can be here like you need somebody, right? And sometimes that is pushed back to. And you hear the person say, yes, you can, you can be here all the time. So it's reminding them that you're pulled in a million directions. If you still have your job to support your family or kids in school or their activities. And so I've had daughters even say it would help me be more successful at my job while I'm there to just know that somebody's here in case you need something. And so, you know, I think starting out just, you know, I'm worried about you and I wish I could be here more, but I can't. So now what do we do?
Pam: [00:26:38] Linda, I'm going to go ahead and turn it over to you for our next set of questions.
Linda: [00:26:42] Okay. So I want to have this come from an educational and practical perspective. But can you please give us an idea of what makes BrightStar different from other non-medical home care companies, from a practical and educational and maybe a fit and a quality perspective?
Dianne: [00:27:05] So one of our we have a couple BrightStar differences. And one is the home care license. And there are thousands of home care agencies. I think in our own territory alone, my sales, my co-owner, Leonard, who does sales, said there's over 400 licensed anywhere from franchise to mom and pops. So one of our differences is our nurse oversight on every case. And that doesn't necessarily mean you need a nurse and our license doesn't require a nurse. However, I have three nurses in our office and we've worked in a varied backgrounds: hospice, social work, you know, and I've, I've worked in home care for a long time, but just doing that needs assessment. But also helping the family because sometimes they just don't know where to start or what they need. We're able to explain, like you asked previously, the differences between different agencies, right? Home health versus hospice versus we often get, well, I'm going to kind of wait and see what hospice will provide. Well, we've done hospice. So I can tell you, you know, you'll get the nurse a couple visits and a bath aide and but what more do you need? How can we supplement that? So that nurse oversight and we're the ones, we have a 24 over seven number. Somebody live answers even in the middle of the night. We have somebody from our office live answering that phone, but calling the nurse with any questions or concerns about that care plan. It's not we'll see you in six months when we have a care plan review kind of thing. We're available whenever you need to come out or to chat by phone to give direction. And so providing that education and that guidance throughout, however long they're needing bright star services, I think is of true value to them. Who wouldn't want a free nurse to consult?
Linda: [00:29:19] Right. Exactly.
Dianne: [00:29:20] Or what's going on? Right. And not that we're not allowed to go out and be a nurse or to examine them. But we could say, I think you should call the physician. Right? Or I think this warrants an ER trip or things like that because they just want to be able to get hold of somebody for those things. We mentioned, I think before the Joint Commission accreditation, I often explain it when you say that the general public, they don't know what that means. But similar to hospitals, we're all required to have policies and procedures from how we hire and background check caregivers to how we make sure they know how to use equipment or provide safe care. And they all have experience. Not only do we have those policies written, but the Joint Commission makes sure we're doing that, that we're actually following them, that they're not just sitting in a book. And, and I don't know that that means, like I said, tons to the general public, but it is pretty important to us. And we're one of the only non vehicle agencies that has that accreditation that is important to.
Pam: [00:30:29] Well, it's an extra layer of quality that maybe the consumers don't know. But that's why we want to bring it up, you know, on a podcast like this, because it's very important to know that you go above and beyond what is required as a non-medicare non medical home care agency to try and bring the best quality of care to your clients that you serve.
Linda: [00:30:52] Yeah. As we would always say, it just is a higher standard of care all the way from the hiring process through background checks, through competency checks to make sure you have the right skill set to the oversight by the end to the care staff. So I think, just that I think brings it out that it's just a higher standard. I mean, you, you've gone above and beyond, as Pam said, to what is really required from a non-medical agency.
Dianne: [00:31:23] Yeah, we spend a lot of time making visits out to the home to make sure they're washing their hands appropriately. They're dressed appropriately, they have their ID, smile on their face, they're arriving on time. All those little things that can really fall through the cracks when you're providing care in home versus in a structure or a building where it's easier, right to keep track of that.
Linda: [00:31:50] Yeah. Because it's more indirect supervision versus direct supervision, like you would get in a hospital or nursing home, right. So what do you think families should be looking for when they're choosing a home care provider?
Dianne: [00:32:03] So I hear this a lot when I meet with families, you hear the quote unquote horror stories of other agencies that they've been through because often we're not the first one that they've gone to. So I would say responsiveness, like I said, if it's an emergency, we'll try and get a nurse out and get you started with care as quickly as possible within a day or two. And reliability. Right. We have an online scheduling portal. Your schedule goes on there. It's not just forgotten about or missed or it's I would say reliability is huge, right? I mean, families have plans or they have to go to work and that's why they have us, they're on vacation. So those clients a priority one meaning absolutely, even if I have to go act as a Caregiver that cannot be missed.
Linda: [00:33:01] Exactly. Especially if you think about it, if that family, if that client themselves is, can't get out of bed without that caregiver assisting them in the morning without possibly falling, I mean, that could be in bed for half the day if somebody doesn't show up.
Dianne: [00:33:19] They're not really often going to know who to call.
Linda: [00:33:24] I want to get a little personal here with you. How does your nursing background shape the way care is provided in your agency?
Dianne: [00:33:36] I"l share my nursing background or maybe a little bit of my personality as well. You know, I recently hired, I'm probably going to share this story forever, but a new nurse case manager, she's only been with me for two weeks. She was previously a home care nurse and actually was a Medicare nurse in a number of our clients homes as a home health nurse, and she said she was in a home. And I don't know if the caregiver was complaining about me or not, but she said, our DON won't let us do anything if it's not on the care plan. And she's like, where do you work? Because that's a great deal. And I'm involved with the training, the annual education really to protect the client and the caregiver, especially when it comes to using certain equipment for transferring things like that, making sure that whoever we have on the home knows how to adequately use that equipment, and then it's also safe for the client and for the caregiver as well. I don't know, doing the right thing always so that I night with a clear conscience at night just isn't very important to me. And always with a smile on your face. You know, caregiving is not easy either. And I often say, I don't want to take any of the credit because it's all about our caregivers. Who are the boots on the ground doing this hard work for, you know, eight, 12 hours a day sometimes when they also have families at home, a lot of and stuff. It's not easy whether you're a family member acting as a caregiver or an agency staff caregiver, it's not easy at all.
Linda: [00:35:31] So you talked about or, I know that you're a dementia certified practitioner. So tell me how you support clients living with dementia and the families who care for them.
Dianne: [00:35:45] So my main role with that is overseeing all of the care plans for dementia clients. So we want to make sure that they're specific, like I talked about, what kinds of activity, how do they like to spend their day? Right? Finding out about their daily routines because that's important with dementia. What time do they get up? Do they eat breakfast right away? Do they shower right away? Do they want to have their cup of coffee in their pink fluffy robe and slippers first? Following that routine is really, really important day in and day out. So overseeing the care plans that way with our dementia clients, but then also helping family members to even if it's through, you know, the stages of dementia, you know, how to overcome, mom or dad doesn't want to shower or change their clothes and talking about different things like making sure that the bathroom, is it cold, right? Making sure it's warm, throwing the towels in the dryer for them, so they're nice and warm when they come out. Now they have the towel warmers, right? Which I just stalled in my bathroom. They're fantastic. But things like that just helping them think of different ways to maybe get the outcomes that they're looking for with mom or dad. So that education as well with that dementia practitioner it's all about education, whether that's for our family members, for our clients or for my staff. It's really supporting the staff too because they can get frustrated easily. Right. But I just help them see it in a different way.
Linda: [00:37:30] They get dementia training, don't they, as part of their orientation?
Dianne: [00:37:33] Absolutely mandatory. Yeah, yeah, a lot of it, like 12 hours a year.
Linda: [00:37:38] Wow. That is a lot.
Dianne: [00:37:39] And, and also on the spot, right? If we're out in the home and they're sharing with us, or I get a call from a caregiver about some kind of behavior. Ideas on how to handle that or what to do to redirect the client. So it's a day in and day out every day conversation.
Dianne: [00:38:03] So Pam, I'm going to hand it over to you now for the next set. Pam.
Pam: [00:38:11] It's really, it's really important. And I loved about the dementia because before we move on, I just want to just give a quick example. Linda and I, we had a client, one of our first clients, and she was an Alzheimer's client. And her husband had one wish and that she stay home with him and not go to a nursing home. So make a long story short, they ended up having 24/7 care. And we had a mix of agency staff as well as private duty staff, whatever we could do. And I will never forget getting a call at midnight from an agency staff member who could not talk her down and buy what she was telling me on the phone, and she's asking me to come over there. It was very clear to me that she did not understand how to relate or how to manage someone with dementia. And we had care plans in place. Her faith was important to her. If you pick a Psalm out of the Bible and read it to her, she immediately calms down. And so they had all that information. And so it's very important for me to know and for our listeners that maybe if they have an aging loved one with a diagnosis of dementia to ask those questions, what kind of qualifications do the caregivers have? Do they get training in dementia? Because that's so huge. So kudos to you for that. So thank you for, for going again, you know, that extra mile because there are so many people out there and families that get so frustrated with dementia.
Dianne: [00:39:40] Absolutely. And it's not and it's not always just the training. It's the role playing too, right. Or being available in the moment like what you just said, you experienced getting that phone call that this such and such is happening and I'm not sure what to do. I can help guide them to, to turn on the song. Remember, it's in the care plan, but they're panicked and they're not remembering all of it.
Pam: [00:40:05] Absolutely.
Dianne: [00:40:06] So, so just to have somebody else guide them through that.
Pam: [00:40:12] So on these, as we're beginning to wind down my last set of questions here, I just want to ask a couple of questions. So what would you say to a caregiver who's feeling guilty about bringing in help?
Dianne: [00:40:27] Boy, I say this a lot actually, because they are or they, you know, if mom or dad are in the other room and it's just two of us, or sometimes they're walking me out after the conversation and they just start crying, right? Because we feel like we should be able to handle it. Right? Mom and dad raised me. It's now my turn. I should be able to do this. And I often remind them you are only as good to your mom or your dad as you are to yourself. So if you start burning the candle at both ends, right, you're going to start becoming more irritable with less patience. Your health could suffer. And it's hard. It's hard. Even as a nurse, I sometimes forget that. Right? But you're only as good to others as you are taking care of yourself. And everybody just needs a break. So let us be that person to come alongside you and give you that break, even if it's just a couple hours. Start there.
Pam: [00:41:28] Absolutely. Then my last question is, what's one small first step that listeners can take this week if they are starting to worry about a loved one at home?
Dianne: [00:41:44] I think maybe just trying to have that honest conversation. I mean, obviously, you know, in the face of dementia or something, maybe that wouldn't work, but just sitting down mom or dad and just saying, hey, I'm noticing this, right? And just see if you can get them to open up. Because sometimes they may admit that something's not going right or they're struggling in a certain area. But just say, I'm noticing this or I'm feeling this. Maybe we'll stop that conversation of there being a need for something.
Pam: [00:42:24] No, that's great information. Linda, would you like to go ahead and as we wrap up, take over?
Linda: [00:42:32] Sure. I'd just like to, it's been such a great conversation with you, Dianne. I mean, you've provided a wealth of information, and we can tell how passionate you are about what you do. So I just want to get the listeners to get from you a final nugget of wisdom. So what is one thing you wish every family could understand about aging in place?
Dianne: [00:43:01] So the first thing to remember is that aging in place can be wherever mom or dad is, right? Because sometimes we do provide help, even if mom or dad are already in an assisted living environment or living at the daughter's home or so, home is wherever they are presently. And so, it is possible and affordable with support to keep them where they want to be for as long as safely you're able to. We, we understand a lot of people can't afford 24 hour round the clock care we do offer live in, which is a lot cheaper than around the clock care. So we try to work with our families in meeting their needs as best as possible. And there are other options rather than completely out of pocket, that we make families aware of, Medicare has a new program called the Guide Program that we help families see if they're eligible for, and it provides 72 hours of respite a year. Doesn't sound like a lot, but it's a start. And it's paid for, covered by Medicare, long term care insurance policies. Some of our clients absolutely have those. And they'll reimburse families for our care if they're approved for that. So I think just there's a lot of ways to meet their desire to age in place. It can be a combination of a lot of things because we're so flexible, right? There might be multiple family members. And I often love to pull out the calendar, the family calendar. Let's go. Let's see where the holes are and what we can do. The puzzle piece. So it's possible.
Linda: [00:44:53] Okay, so what about just one give? You know, we've talked about so many things in this conversation. So what would be one takeaway from today's episode that you would like listeners to remember as they're thinking about non-medical home care?
Dianne: [00:45:12] I think it's okay to say you need help. You're not a failure. Yeah. It's hard. It is tough whether you're the adult children, which I was referring to because quite honestly, that's mostly who will call us looking for that help because they just don't know where to go. They're burnt out, so. But it's okay.
Linda: [00:45:39] So where should someone start? If they think that, you know, non-medical home care would be helpful? I mean, where would someone start in regards to finding you or finding anyone in the non-medical arena? How would they start?
Dianne: [00:46:00] No. Since it's non-medical. No. So, you know, we have over 400 BrightStar locations across the United States that can be googled easily, BrightStar care in my town or wherever mom and dad live or home care agencies in my town are going to give you a list. I would definitely say if they're comfortable checking Google reviews or stars, but also, and I can't speak for other agencies, but when somebody calls looking for help, it's okay to just you don't know what you're looking for, right? So often I know our intake person and I love talking to people on the phone. Just tell me what's going on at home, right? And then you know, that initial conversation and yes, we like to call it a living room visit, for lack of a better term, but it's free. It's not. We don't charge for that. Often we don't walk away with an agreement because families need to think about it or they're meeting with multiple agencies, but it's just a free consultation conversation, whether that's by phone or having us come out to the home about how what we can do to help meet you where you are at that moment in time.
Linda: [00:47:19] And I think that's really important is meeting them where they're at that point in time because they, you know, they may not be ready. And, you know, I, I, I think just looking at it from an educational perspective, looking at it, you know, saying, okay, I need this, you know, word of mouth, have you, talking to neighbors and friends, other people who have had home care, you know, non-medical home care for their loved one in the past also is a good place to start, I think. Right. So Pam, you want. Are we ready to close this out?
Pam: [00:47:54] Yes, I think so. It's been a great conversation. Dianne, thank you so much for joining us today and just enlightening us and our listeners about non-medical home care and also about BrightStar and for helping us talk through, you know, such an important topic for families who want to support their aging loved ones at home.
Linda: [00:48:12] Yeah. And these conversations, yeah, these conversations really matter because so many caregivers are trying to do everything on their own. I mean, it's constant. And we hear that a lot from our own clients. And so learning about non-medical home care can open the door to more support for them, more safety for their loved ones, and more peace of mind.
Pam: [00:48:33] And again, we just want to remind our listeners that today's episode was shared for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. So again, every situation is different. So please connect with a qualified healthcare professional to address your specific needs.
Linda: [00:48:49] And don't forget to check the show notes for resources related to this episode.
Pam: [00:48:53] And if this conversation was helpful, please share it with a friend, family member, or another family caregiver who may need it.
Linda: [00:49:01] And be sure to subscribe to Healthcare Redefined advocating for aging adults and their families so you don't miss the rest of season two.
Pam: [00:49:10] Yeah. So thank you so much. We're so glad you were here with us today.
Linda: [00:49:13] So until next time, take care of yourself and the ones you love.