Secret Dealings

The crew faces a brutal choice as war looms—ally with fanatics or burn their own to survive. Can they strike a deal, or will their souls pay the price?

Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: WH40K Black Crusade

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What is WarHams: A Chaos Odyssey?

Four Chaos Space Marines. One terrified Guardsman. A cursed ship hurtling across the galaxy. Join us for a Warhammer 40,000 actual-play TTRPG campaign using the Black Crusade system — hilarious, grimdark, and utterly unhinged. Which Chaos God will the Guardsman ultimately choose? Who will prevail in the end?

We're all just whipped gimps in God's hot cage.
Sorry, it was a eardrops of burger cake.
Where can I aura farm?
That's been the question.
The art of the deal is alive and well
in the 42nd millennium.
I'm still gonna say a technical loss is a loss.
I'm about to go fucking General McClellan on your ass.
I didn't lose, I merely failed to win.
Now you said that was a real piece of shit though, so.
Listen, you can get the top amount of frags
tf2 but if the enemy pushes that funny little bomb in the cart to where it's supposed to blow up
you fucking lose i think that's a good intro to start out on easy do that one payload race
we'll use that one hi everybody welcome to another side episode of warhams a chaos odyssey
i didn't fuck up this time good job i'm gonna slam my door to improve the acoustics
of the wood variety
damn it me slamming that door actually made me want to peel very quick okay well you go to me
and i'll get us with the recap and everything it's not that he needs to it's that he wants to
he feels like it today welcome back everybody hope everyone had an amazing time good to see
everybody again today uh of course we had ourselves an exciting episode last time
i believe betha i got his ass whooped uh as i go through my notes here
yeah yeah get your tears out yeah yeah just like like oh delicious tears
really just sucked you know like going into combat and just not even getting to combat
because fire took you out and that'd suck yeah you could have an epic moment
and we could have had a thunder hawk but we're here now um anyway
i'm coming for you but the barbarians have got the rage in combat it's like you had always be
raging always raging i guess i was just thinking how we could make uh make odo feel worse
about the last session oh please please just just lay it on us oh i thought you had more to add on
to it no no i was studying in my lab i never considered the uh advance everybody is always
so big to me yeah my tech tree i'm facing the wall my ass is huge yeah my bully tree is large
all right all right but i but i do have one thing to say to you odo okay one thing about
everything all right i know what is it speaker really down on you what is the speaker these
are about to be your last words all right but i just wanted to say
i know where you live or you said it little buddy
i know what your address is you do it used to be where your address was
i still love the uh the time where the fire alarm went out in your guys apartment
complex oh my god that was awesome that was really funny i hope it happens again but of course we do
have an episode together so good to see everybody hope everyone's having a fantastic time and hey
if you're listening to this thanks for being here we appreciate you're here hope you're doing okay
we all love you being here and hope life gets better regardless of where it is uh but of course
what happened last episode beth a.l uh did not get us a thunderhawk instead burned a whole bunch and
and fail from said thunderhawk sorry i might be mad about something um as we continue on yeah man
i would have liked to have a thunderhawk too
zory tried to do the intro 80 times and every time we just stopped on didn't get the fucking
thunderhawk and then we talked about it pretend if i may i'm just glad that i'm not the one
initiating the pvp this time in fact you're kind of you're like you have a slight shadowy reasons
why because i think last episode whenever you went uh it's like like so happen to notice we're
not in the thunderhawk right now that's turned into my stem recently oh my god oh my god and
so with some other friends with something would happen like i'll be like happens to like appears
we don't have the situation right now right now so it's i've been torturing people that way
it's it's not my new partner so you did a great job um
let's go let me say what the hell happened last episode so people don't want to please happen
last episode all right so basically after plummeting like a meteor um they basically
we all basically rushed over to bethael's uh you know aid and a lumbering kind of i guess
will help manner uh we also looted a whole bunch of the bodies over there so we still have a we
have several flamers to give to some troops if we ever get any uh a heavy flamers for whoever wants
that and of course we stole some gene seed from the space marine corpses because we needed a stock
i think that was by zante's idea uh life host mindscaped with beth isle trying to go like y'all
you know you don't have to be as angry anymore you know but of course corn battered down the door
and interrupted the session um then they got over to their old transport and radioed in
through a amazing thing of who's in charge game uh to see who's going to call the troop transport
and it was on its way and as they were waiting uh conversations just to clarify just to clarify
it wasn't evgeny who was in charge carry on no we need to make sure i told that motherfucker
that Evgeny was in charge.
All right?
I'm backing up my boy.
My teammates respect me.
They see me as a fellow chaos lord-in-waiting.
I wouldn't really say that.
Yeah, let's not get that far.
Three of them, two of them see me that way.
You're like, no, no.
You're not going to pass.
No, he's fine.
I'm a varsity chaos champion.
You do have three people who believe
you'll make it that far, Hulky.
You have three people.
You're forgetting Lucitrix.
Yeah, you're like the water boy
in one of those.
Not the water boy.
No, that's Lucitrix.
I will not accept that slander.
Terrible faith in Evgeny
is incredibly fickle though
because you could say,
yes, I believe Evgeny
is going to become a chaos lord.
But if Evgeny head exploded tomorrow,
you'd just be like,
well, it is what it is.
And what's the alternative,
Mr. Slemishy?
I'm going to sit here
and piss and shit myself
when it doesn't happen.
I'm telling you, we're all on the same side.
You also don't believe
what you're getting.
It's a shame that his head exploded.
I guess we'll have to find another old
meow meow to adopt.
Anyway,
Byzantium also got acid launched
from his chaos corruption, so we gotta
remember that. Also, remember, Byzantium,
you are destined to die. I lost
it in my other notes on another device, but
I think it was like three days or something.
four years no it was like four years
four years I'm not destined
to die I don't think it was
something bad was going to happen
oh I was destined to die
I was destined to die
oh yeah I was destined to die
that's what
what's her name said
destined to die
actually today
I was recording this episode 6 came out
in public so that would be the one that I was determined
someone tell me in discord
if you listen to that
tell me exactly what it was uh there's four years and then some specific things
i don't feel like it uh and then of course we decided to defile the body and then we got picked
up and i do believe uh from the last we left off at the final bit we were on our way back to the
carcass uh getting nice and healed up but of course thurston you know what story we're gonna
be having today what are yep or what is currently happening all right all right um
suck here okay i'm gonna turn this little guy on um odo can you can you read this little
little quote for me yeah i can this one this one applies to me
you are already dead your body has just not accepted it yet by apothecary variel
of the super cool and awesome red corsairs we begin in orbit over the chaotic infused world
of Dahab in the apothecarian of the carcass where Bethael you lie you lie on a slab
being tended to by the vessel's apothecarian the true son Valthor Drask the sort of teal
little sea-green armor gleams in the, uh, in the light of the room, as, as he stands
over and utilizes several medical diagnostic tools, um, pressing buttons, and there's clicking
of servitors as he looks down.
All right, it, uh, appears that your leg is incredibly mangled here, you said you fell
some height?
Yes. A Thunderhawk.
Alright, and he looks over.
Evgeny, have you been smoking?
Yes, sir, I've been smoking two packs a day at least.
Good, good, good. Do you need any drugs, anything to dull the pain of life and existence?
Not yet, but if the next mission goes terrible again, I may.
Alright, very good, very good. I'd like you to get on that, uh, that slab.
I'm going to tend to you right away.
Of course.
Well, Yevgeny?
Did you go sit down for your inspection, Yevgeny?
Why do I need an inspection, sir?
I'm right as rain, fit as a fiddle.
No, no, no, you need to be looked at.
Go sit down.
I have to make sure you're in tip-top shape.
You've been in combat, many things could happen,
psychological as well,
the servitors start the process
uh Thael you need to wait
I will not be going
anywhere
good good because I've decided
that you will need
someone to make sure you don't don't leave
try to get up until I've looked at that leg
so until I'm done with you Genny
um Byzantium will look after
me and he turns and walks off
and like as he turns like
just the shadow behind
Byzantium standing there
obviously
I would rather crawl out of here.
Well, is that any way to treat me
when I am here to see to your own well-being?
Selflessly, I might add.
Selflessly.
Right, of course, you are simply here to do...
Are you trained in performing medical operations?
Oh, well, how hard could it be?
I'm going to make a Medicaid check.
No, do not touch me.
Okay, are you going to try to operate on the leg?
Do not touch me.
All right, all right, here's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to make a deception check to make him think that I'm operating on his leg.
But, Speaker, will you let them know you can do it?
No.
Oh.
I'm not even going to fucking.
He's keeping the secret.
I'm just doing stuff
you just like buzz saws
start going and like
yeah give me
give me a
give me a deception test
opposed by awareness let's do
that awareness okay
that's a 79
all right well
we'll see if I
am any better at that
where is my awareness
there you are
It's 79!
Let's go!
How romantic!
What the fuck?
How does this work?
What happens when they're the exact same?
Well, you typically compare the degrees of success or failure in this case, of which it's equal.
They're the same?
but I will say the tiebreaker in this
is that Byzantium has
approximately two higher
deception
I need a clamp here
oh no clamp here I suppose
I'm ready to kick at this unicycle
wheel get the fuck off
I'm shoving him off
I am shoved off and I reveal
your leg is normal
your legs are okay
Bethael is like rapidly swearing
and Nagra Kali and just like
Byzante
what was the point
well I was here
to make sure your
heart rate was sufficiently
elevated
oh it's elevated
it always is whenever you're
within the same room.
And just think of how...
I said heart rate.
Yeah, it is two hearts, but do they pluralize it?
Heart is, rate is.
Heart rates.
I'm sorry, I interrupted you, my bad.
I interrupted your flow.
No, no, no, now we've all entered this state,
and what is the correct...
Lore check.
No, that does.
Lore check.
I guess you'd say your pulse?
I don't know.
Whatever.
Your heart rate-ies?
Heart rate-ies.
The Astartes heart rate-ies.
All right, this is stupid.
Yeah, thank you.
Where are we again?
What's happening?
I think we're about to have fucking Valthor put a heroin pump in Evgeny.
All right.
So it's a, it's a, it's a light mix of drugs that I've put together just for you.
Are you ready?
What kind of drugs are in that, sir?
I've taken my fair share of combat steams.
The syringe goes into you.
First and one right to see where the syringe goes.
No, yeah, absolutely.
You're right.
You're 100%.
You're 100% right.
Okay.
Very fair point.
Oh, 88 seems like it's going to be good on the chart.
Let me reacquire the chart here.
The most coronate limb possible with that 88.
True.
It's true.
That is true.
It's my favorite number.
Don't fail me now.
Black Crusade tables.
88 is the left leg.
The left leg.
The faded leg.
Yeah, alright, you're good. He removes it. Uh, just try not to get stressed.
Oh, that shouldn't be too hard, the, like, psychic twinge of pain and infinite horror that he's witnessed.
Yeah. Oh, good. Why, uh, why shouldn't I get stressed, sir? There's nothing to worry about, it's just a combat stint.
Oh, some of those drugs are also laced with immaterial residue.
It might, uh, exacerbate it.
Immaterial what?
Don't worry about it.
He slaps you on the shoulder with a ceramite gauntlet.
What shoulder does he slap me on, Thurston?
I...
Ah, fuck.
Yeah, which one breaks?
No, it's an important question because of some, uh, you know, scarification.
Mortification, actually.
It's going to be your right.
It's going to be your right shoulder, because I literally rolled right arm right there, so that's perfect.
Excellent.
Awesome.
Evgeny will feel a twinge of pain as the immaterial mirror shard gets plunged further into his collar.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, that's right.
You did have that.
Yeah.
All right.
Good, good, good.
All right.
Beth, I am.
So, how far exactly did you fall?
Oh, Evgeny's great.
He's going to be fine.
Just a simple checkup, really.
Good to know.
Now, this little leg of yours.
A hundred meters or so.
Well, I was on fire.
I fell from a thunderhawk, and that was what I landed on.
Fell from a thunderhawk.
Evgeny, you didn't fall from a thunderhawk, did you?
No, sir.
I'm still standing, and I'm not a bag of meat.
All right.
Very good.
Very good.
Turns back to you.
Okay.
Here's what we're going to do.
I have two options one please I can give you some stims and you can walk it off because
your healing should handle it second we can remove it and replace it with a bionic just
give me the stims I will walk it off all right I need you to know we're low on stims yeah
It'll be a light dose.
Used it all at the beginning.
There's like a closet.
There's a closet in this room that's like mortal medical supplies,
and it's massive.
It's fully stocked.
It probably has its own fucking receptionist.
And then there's like a Stardy's medical supplies.
Yeah, it's like a couple of baby aspirin and a stick to bite down on.
And it's, like, Lucitrix looking through it, and that's it.
Whatever stem you have, I will accept.
Have this.
It's, uh, we took it from an imperial raid.
And it's, like, I don't know, like, emperor's little champ, like, like aspirin.
Ah.
That's not a stem.
Okay.
It's a party favor.
Sure.
Yes, give it to me, Drask, I do not care.
Stop complaining about the lake, though,
it'll get better.
I have not complained a single time.
And you do realize, like,
thanks to your astartesian biology,
it's actually done a fair, fair job of mending itself on,
even on just the trip back to the ship.
Well, anything to avoid Byzanty
playing nurse for any longer.
Bethyle's gonna sit up
and kind of test it out
yeah
you seem to have some pain
in there but nothing
unbearable
you feel like the sinew and bones
and everything re-knitting
after that psychic incursion
the worst pain he probably has right now
is a very very bad
butcher's nails headache
yeah which
you now have a little tablet
it to combat against great i'm gonna just however many he gives me i'm going to take all of them at
once yeah it's like it's like four of them and they've all got like that almost cartoonish face
of the emperor which you're forced to like consume it's it's it's yeah it's
chew on them
just this comical like face
yeah
at this point
at this point Cephas you would come in
into this and see sort of what's been going
on you you once you came aboard
you you quickly made a
report to relevant stations and then made
your way back here
yeah Cephas obviously
didn't take any real fire from the last
engagement because I would have been too slow
to make any movement out that way.
So he's just, he's just going to come in
and he's going to see Bethael presumably limping up out of bed.
Yep, he's sitting up, kind of testing his weight on the limb,
wincing a little, but kind of managing to get up.
Ah, good.
Our brother gets to keep his original leg.
So I do.
Well, we are back in order now.
I am tending to a handful of minor reporting duties
before we head back out again,
as our work is not yet finished on this planet.
Are you well enough to fight, Bethael,
or do you need more time?
If you could hack off both my legs,
then I would be well enough to fight.
Indeed.
But you might find yourself meeting your timely end sooner.
Better to die on the battlefield
than to die here under drasks.
watchful eye.
All death is the same, but
I take your meaning.
Evgeny, how are you
faring?
Well, aside from the mystery cocktail
that Drust just injected into me, I'd say
I'm doing
honestly fine, all things considered. Could be
a lot worse.
Sorry to say I didn't fall out of any
thunderhawk, but I'm glad that you're still with us,
Bethael.
I'd hate to lose you for that.
Thank you.
Yes. That will be remedied.
You said you received a chemical cocktail from Drask?
That's correct, sir. He didn't specify what particular was inside it, but he said there was some kind of immaterial substance that made up whatever was in the cocktail.
It didn't kill me initially, but he told me that I should quote, avoid stress whenever all possible.
I'm assuming that I will explode
or some horrible thing will burst forth
from my chest if I'm to
undergo some sort of
undue stressor
uh Cephas will turn
to Drask
Apothecary was this the same
cocktail of chemicals that you
gave to attendant Lucitrix
uh well
yes
ah
in that case I can tell you exactly what
does. I would encourage you to
avoid stress lest you take up a
very,
very heavy fervor for mortification.
She has been
doing so
in one of the lesser chapels.
Oh.
So she's been scarifying herself too
and tearing off bits and pieces because
you stuck that stim
in her.
Oh no, she's always done that.
She's just doing it more.
If you'd like, you can go visit her.
I should not like to do that at the moment
I think I've got a pretty good handle on
mortification
I bear my scars and I don't need
Nurgle's blessing to
well, bear any more of them
not on you anyway
but appreciate the insight
Cephas, I really
truly do
very well
and Byzantine
he looks at Byzantine knowing full well
he did not take any damage from the last
engagement as far as i recall how is the ingrown toe brother i don't have one of those you
disgusting troglodyte but thank you for your concern ah you never know it may start up at
some point you are here after all i assumed you were here for medicine oh no not to antagonize
utilizing the healing
power of laughter
I'm glad you had fun
me too
there is a crackle
on the vox
this is
Atalpa, Scourge
are the Astartes
honored, returned to us
yes
yeah
Cephas will just press the return call button
we are among you
yes, what is it Scourge
As I, as I believe that your approval is required,
I wish to communicate that there are enemy vessels,
I believe to be hostile, at least,
maneuvering around the planet.
Have you identified them,
or are they merely hostile, broadly?
There are several cruisers
that I am having a difficult time identifying,
though one of them matches the trajectory
of the Thunderhawk that departed the planet.
Ah, the conflagration has irritated at us, no doubt.
They appear to be maneuvering
into a bombardment possession over the planet.
The planet? Why?
correct. Were I to posit a conjecture, it would seem that your interference with their
affairs has caused them to become incandescent.
My calculations, however, are quite direct.
I believe that the conflagration will require at least one day to achieve optimal bombardment
position based on their current trajectories,
and penchant for utilizing flame-based ordnance.
If we were to interfere,
would we be in an advantageous position,
or would we be on the back foot again?
There's, like, a very pregnant pause on the other end,
before Edelfarth responds, uh-oh, yeah, okay, okay, thank you.
79 again, by the way.
Oh my god, that's true.
There's like this pause
before Edelfar responds.
Have you acquired
us any fighter
Obamacraft?
No, we have not, and you would know
that if you checked the reposition list.
Disadvantage.
Truly a delightful vessel I have decided
to be a part of.
Edelfar, what are the Astartes Complement of these firebrands exactly?
How many true warriors stand ready to combat us upon each cruiser, would you estimate?
It is difficult to ascertain, depending on their utilization of mortal troops, I would gather.
perhaps 30 per vessel, in a standard disposition of a renegade warband.
However, that could alter.
The difficulty would of course be reaching the vessel,
and attempting to board it.
Their voids are up, preventing any form of teleportation.
That is rather bad.
I don't suppose we have any- anything we could use as an ad hoc boarding craft?
Doubtless anything that would survive their response to such a ship showing up on their sensors.
We don't need to survive.
I beg to differ, sir.
No, no, you are indeed correct.
I would quite like to survive, in fact. Hey, Yevgeny?
Hey, Yevgeny? Yevgeny, is this conversation that's going on
this potentially stress-inducing-
I'M NOT A CONGRESSMAN!
That you have now very clearly put yourself into the moment of...
Wait, you can't do this to me, you can't do this to me!
Can you give me a willpower of plus 20, please?
Fuck!
Oh, he's gonna blow up! Oh, I killed him, get him!
He's gonna start whipping himself, fuck!
He's okay, he's okay.
Okay, I succeed. It was a 40.
I'm sorry, it was a 29 for 5 degrees of success.
I'm cool as a cucumber.
The urge to crawl in your skin has diminished.
The wounds are healing.
Yeah, so...
Yeah, that's enough for you to really come to realize
that this is all fine.
This is all fine right now.
And Byzante clearly has a good assessment of the situation.
up until the point where he suggested you all die,
at which point now, you maybe have some concerns.
We cannot…
We are just…
It's Sunday night again.
No, it's Sunday 6! Oh my!
God, okay, wow, I get it.
Close, though.
So, if we cannot get onto their crafts,
you said they had a day before they get into optimal position.
Correct. Then we find…
Based on…
We find Zol Anandke.
He had to get there somehow himself.
We've been meaning to wring answers from him anyway.
Perhaps he has a vessel to wring as well.
What?
You want us to go and find the man that we're hunting down
and then ask him for help?
No.
We wring his neck until we take his vessel.
Ah, for a second there,
I thought you had suffered some sort of stroke.
No, no, I did not hit my head. I hit my leg.
I see, I see. Well, this is all well and good,
but there may be a way for us to prevail, even without a full military offensive.
Do you doubt me?
Yes, but go ahead.
All right. Well, if you want to find out my strategy,
and then I make- I go running for the bridge.
And Bethael's gonna grit his teeth, and he's gonna try going after him.
oh my god
a five
sorry for audio listeners
I just rolled a percentile I had to make
my willpower test because there's
nothing quite like speaker not
like loudly declaring the plan
but instead just running to enact
the plan that will give a GM
heart fucking palpitations
you know it's as much a burden
to me as it is to you
in some ways
is it really
I don't know
I mean, Seppas isn't really concerned
because what's he going to do?
Is he going to go like sit in the captain's chair
and be like, all right, we're going to ram them.
All right.
So that we immediately cut to Byzantine.
So you're going to ram them.
No, I'm kidding.
No, he doesn't say that.
All right.
I assume it's like Byzantine gets there
and is like kind of like, like strode in.
i assume bethael on on the the pain but not like not hampering you now leg is rushing behind um
lifos are you also rushing i assume cephas is just taking a gingerly face i would like him to walk
with evgeny if evgeny is not stressfully sprinting towards it yeah the the only other option i had
was if lifos like put him in the the baby carrier and ran with him was gonna be an opportunity for
me to do something, evil bastard putting him in a liquor when I'm talking to him.
Lifo's was never there.
He's somewhere else right now. And yeah, Bethael just bites it!
He's on the roof.
Give me the fucking chance to put my armor back on, you piece of- ow!
Yeah, alright, so Evgeny and Cephas, you're walking. You're walking your way there.
So Evgeny's going, uh, wait, that's me. Oh, I'm having an identity crisis already.
That's awesome.
That was also part of the cocktail.
She was having an issue with that, too.
She believed herself to be St. Benedictine
of some pointless corpse emperor world,
but she quickly realized she wasn't.
Oh, well, that's good.
That's better.
That's hot and nose.
Um, so Byzantium is going to ram this ship
into their ship?
Possibly.
I have no idea what he intends.
He is a very secretive unit.
That is entirely true.
Oh, he is incredibly secretive.
Regardless.
Couldn't a ship of this size, I'm no shipwright,
even withstand a direct impact to another ship of its size?
I believe that his plan, regardless of the efficacy of it or the success rate,
will result in a highly favorable outcome.
That is a lot of faith that you have in someone with so many secrets, Cephis.
Although I suspect, per your usual candor, you don't care what the outcome is regardless.
Oh, I always care, child. Do not mistake my acceptance for how things will transpire with
a apathy or nihilism. I care very much for how things transpire. I merely accept that
they will happen the way they will happen.
It is like they used to say in my unit, a very fond one, that that, it is what it is.
whether death comes at the hands of the enemy or if you simply choke to death and forget how to
breathe in a moment it is all the same that being said i am not so foolhardy as to assume that
death in every format is exactly the same certainly dying one way is much better and in the favorable
outcome in our regard all of the others those aboard those ships they all die i hear you sir
daniel smile at that response all right we we cut we cut to well first of all
lifeos where where are you at this juncture is he on the roof i've been debating honestly i thought
at that too like i was i didn't know where we were going so i've been thinking of so many intros
it's like where can i aura farm that's been the question
oh okay okay okay okay so clearly i think what we have to do then is like
by zanti rushes onto the bridge uh and gives whatever proclamation and then you will step
out of the shadows but what does by zanti do when he goes on the bridge because now we all need to
know the answer sorry i was uh airdrop some burger king by zanty puts down his burger king
this episode of chaos honestly brought to you part by no mcdonald's
i like i get ultra sensitive trying to eat during the show which i barely do but like only this time
And I was like, oh, I'll get myself my little health bar I've been doing.
You know, like, I'll do that.
Just in case I get inserted.
I took a nibble, waited a little bit.
They're like, okay, okay.
Okay, I think I'm going to get in the car.
And now, I didn't know people were having five-horse fucking meals during recording session.
We got to speak.
We're like, oh, this whopper's good.
Jeeves, bring in the next course, if you don't mind.
chicken fries the chicken fries are ready you see what you what you don't under what you don't know
is that i do sometimes eat but i wait tactically for me to finish whatever long-winded nonsense
i'm gonna do so that way the camera is not looking at me so i can silently eat my food
Did any of you notice that I was eating?
You literally said it, you fool!
Yeah, I said it after I had eaten a french fry,
because I had eaten a french fry.
Now listen.
You should have didn't.
Please don't be being to me all crying.
I'm literally just a new Wubin.
He's just a little guy, and it's his birthday.
Byzante enters into the bridge.
Greetings, all! I need updates on two things!
Number one! God, excuse me. Number one!
Bless you.
That was a burp, that was not power eating.
I'm aware!
It was a burp brought on by eating!
Number one! Om nom!
Om nom!
Om nom!
Om nom!
Om nom!
Om nom!
Om nom!
Om nom!
Fucking hell!
Anyway, in real world, I need to know the status
of the progenoids, the gene seed. Uh, we do still have that, yes?
It has been stored in the apothecarian.
Well, I was just there, so we're going to have to work through faith and hope that
it's working. Alright.
Number two, I need someone to tell me
if they can hail the lead vessel of the cruiser formation.
Ideally, if they can't figure out the lead one,
the one that Thunderhawk just went to.
Okay, okay.
There is a pause,
and as the servitors begin to sort of chitter about,
um there is the captain's voice who steps down from the commandeus and the the concealed throne
cocoon of the captain it is your order then if you are to have us communicate why would you do this
it would potentially alert them to our presence
do it as you wish lord though doing so will alert the enemy to our presence and could have
consequences if that is your will belay the order then let's see i might as well take counsel with
the rest of those reprobates who should be here any minute now
Bethael like bursts in
ah what the hell are you doing
you should be thanking me
i decided to wait to wait
oh well difficulty minus 10
oh oh you should be thanking me
I could not think of a single thing that I should be thanking you for, Byzanty.
Tsk, tsk, tsk. Such a limited imagination.
Well, I bet you're wondering about my big plan.
I suppose we all are.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
You're never going to be able to talk again.
I fucking hate this shit so much.
It's so good.
It's so good.
It's so good.
It's so good.
It's so good.
At this point, Evgeny and Cephas stroll in.
It's called Cryptosporidium.
I've heard it's quite an interesting disease.
I think I've met a Xenos species by that name.
I would hope not.
I don't believe they exist.
Oh, but they do.
They do, sir.
On far-flung reaches out in the ghoul stars.
I've met a few of them on a few errant stations.
Horrible to interact with.
Terribly foul-mouthed, despite being Xenos.
ah brother what are you doing well i would love to tell you where is lithos i don't know why you
think i know that brother i keep going i don't know we usually all travel together
do i look like the zincian's keeper yes sort of how exactly your rivals i keep track of bethiel
all the time. I know all
of the secret entrances to Beth Isles
have, and I know how
to antagonize
and annoy him.
I don't happen to enjoy
Barbarian Lyphos.
All of this is punctuated
by Zoran smugly finishing
that energy bar.
That's what's happening this entire
time.
That's fine.
Lyphos is somewhere eating the
biggest granola bar of his life
I've actually finished it like forever
ago I'm just like yeah I'll let them
roleplay today
he's watching us squirm
that's fine
I am the keeper of the Zeechian
because I do not antagonize, annoy,
belittle, or demean him unlike
you and our dear brother Bethael
we don't keep tabs on him
I wasn't suggesting
you did I'm suggesting he's
annoying you not the other way around
please do keep up Bethael I'm
trying not to make you look bad continue well i was hoping that lithos would be here
ah well hail the cruiser why
wait that is not an answer wait wait wait wait i maybe can answer this
nope
oh my god
many secrets
I have many secrets
voice
he does not have any more authority than any of us
belay that
as you wish
you're outnumbered by Zanti what are you doing
alright I was asked another
time. Let's see if I
can... Oh my god. Nope!
Byzantium is turning
into Mustafa from Austin Powers
at this rate. Gotta keep asking him
until he says it. Let's see.
Thurston, is there anything
I can do to rattle
the secret out of him? Perhaps
through a show of physical violence?
Yes. Yes, you
can.
Let's see what kind
of good physical violence. This will be
funny because i know exactly what's gonna happen if i ask he has a scorpion tail yeah he does um
you know what you can give me um i think in this case it's intimidate just like to use your physical
raw so give me an opposed intimidate versus willpower okay this is where byzante is gonna
just like nail this willpower i unfortunately haven't i haven't trained intimidate but it's
still good because i've got high strength it is it is yeah oh that's a 95 not so good
that uh okay everyone succeeds with one degree of successful four degrees of failure versus you
were five yeah uh you're able to like hold you like your teeth are grinding um the like acid
is like leaking out as you're even probably like fighting um to hold back the secrets within that
you just can't divulge as lifos enters in with the data slate he's been going over like i'm
imagine he's like got glasses on for some reason going through it
I love the little skull with glasses
But he enters the room
Hello children
At a leisurely pace
Because he's beginning to hear all the commotion
I'll see a cloak flowing
As he begins to
Slowly walk by everyone
The captain's voice
Kind of bows to you
He's like
He doesn't bow back
He's like good someone acknowledges
And
and as he continues to walk forward he'll uh continue to punctuate going i believe
us the nesci friend wishes to find some delightful information isn't that right
let's find out can can lifos pull it out of you we'll find out
Mm-hmm.
That's right, I got the ball quick.
Of course! Of course, of course, the schemers!
True conversation.
Through the play of words, this theater shall unfold.
And you, Byzantium, through your will and your ways,
you'll be able to extract the knowledge we need.
Isn't that right?
No.
but but now at least you can tell them your plan if you want yes far more direct than you've been
wow after all this time yeah no i think i'll seize the moment i'll seize the initiative
no i'm not after information you see we happen to have secured the gene seed of off their fallen
dead something that even us blasted hellish legionnaires greatly cherish if they wished
to oppose an emperor class battleship with their cruisers they would be set for a hard fight they
don't know how under provisioned we truly are but an invitation for a duel amongst their greatest
champions and our greatest champions for resources for land for anything we can so desire
glorious combat
that's what I would allege
the progenoids
in exchange for say
a compliment of thunderhawks
or I suppose
the end of the bombardment
of this fair planet
it would be wise
to understand why
they wish to expend
so many shells
on barely
what many would consider
nothing
you're angry freaks
that was my summation
if you think there's anything more behind their actions
by all means see if you can
skeed it
but my understanding was that they are
angry pyromaniacs
who feel justly slighted
we weren't the only ones
seeking the hub
yes
but there's always fun little
stories to extract
fun little tidbits
to find go with your plan see who we can get listen to their tones the songs they play
and see if you can hear fear pleased to say that now the room is at the very least split
do i hear one more vote for my genius master plan everybody's heads turning
Hey, how's that stress doing, man?
Yeah, give me a willpower plus ten, you get it.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Oh, no.
He's going to go into fucking cardiac arrest.
Come on.
Damn.
That's a ten.
Oh, ten.
For a second, I thought that was about to be another hundred.
You are cool as a cucumber.
You are still cool as a cucumber.
The thing that keeps repeating in Evgeny's head is,
I am in control.
Nothing will take that away from me anymore.
Sir, glory is found on the battlefield,
but not through foolhardiness.
Whatever makes the most sense tactically.
Well, tactically we cannot-
If we must ram them, if we must plunge ourselves
face first into the yawning maw of death that is what is the optimal route not what is smartest
or safest like that i think that we revealed that by zanti's plan was
actually far more cutting and then you come in and like we should ram
hey it's by zanti's fault he's not telling us like this is on him oh my god he he just did didn't he
You're getting him to hear it.
It's fine.
You're getting spaced out to not hear it.
Okay.
He didn't hear the secret.
He didn't hear the secret.
Thurston.
Yeah.
I came in with a data slate.
Right?
Yes.
I would like to know, if I can infer this, tell me, go screw myself for this information.
how much information are you willing to give me because i because i would like to
have them imagine that life is like i need to figure out everything about these
like as much as we can like well the probability of this probably like that like obviously there's
like a cruiser and things like that and thunderhawks um if we were to try to be as aggressive as
possible to literally just like aim the guns and target lock them and do all this fun stuff
like from all that they have like all their ships details and everything as much as we could like
scanning i guess uh how much information are you willing to give me so we can use that
information to kind of help decide what we want to do here from like a tactics perspective yeah
tactics perspective for now okay um so in this case um tactically like you you you all have
enough to know three decently stocked cruisers versus your ill-equipped uh carrier that lacks any
birds to throw in the air um would not go well for you um you could do damage you could possibly
even destroy one of the ships but the conclusion itself is pretty um however i think what you could
do in this case and i would allow is i'd let you do i think you have um the commoner actually i
think you have forbidden lord adeptus astartes uh i'd let you give me that with a plus 20 check
yeah if you've been sort of researching because i i see life as less as being like the the full-on
tactical situation but also like learning about you know what you know about this renegade war
band and what that what you there might be there i got a 50 with two degrees of success
okay so the endless conflagration is certainly obsessed with with fire um they are however
notable in that because of their sort of belief in in purgation through flame they are undivided
worshipers who you know see all aspects of the gods through the the realm and the the lens of
fire um they they despite that sort of moniker of like pyromaniacs um they can actually be
negotiated with um they're they're actually themselves fairly open to discussions as long
as it allows them to fulfill whatever agendas or goals they to have and basically they're after the
same thing we're after pretty much you don't know you know they were down there but that's really
all you lifehose will look at everyone and go i believe a conversation is in order but it still
meets i will admit i do not hate the idea of dueling them in exchange for their gene seed
returned i would love the chance for a rematch i need some information first and then
and she the challenge would that sound wonderful by his auntie oh but of course i find myself quite
at home with these lovely little court games so rare am i able to play them just so um
i would like to cast thought sending to byzantine okay basically um
doesn't make sure that it did it's a rickroll yeah
never gonna give you a double check
that's the mask
I'm trying to see if you have to resist it or whatever
he's excessive
power tests
wish to be contacted may resist
with a willpower test getting a plus 20 bonus
if they do not share a language with the psych
so you don't get a plus 20
because we share the same language
he's going to do thought sending
to him and
I will not go full on
i'm just gonna do it normal and that is a 49 with a lot of degrees of success i have to figure out
why that's target 130 i have to figure that out um i do have like items that help i have to figure
out what went wrong regardless let's bring that down to like eight or whatever degrees of success
yeah i mean all that extra degrees of success um give you also you do get like a plus 40
innately to the check because it's a simple check um so yeah that's that's that's why um
okay um yeah you can you can you can send thoughts no problem
Yep, I'm not going to resist it.
Resist. In your mind, he'll go,
And I'll help direct you and point you
to things you might miss along the way.
I won't say anything, though, because I keep secrets.
Myphilus will turn to the speaker and go,
Oh, their craft.
The captain's voice nods, and there's, like,
a a bit a bit of time before a um lithocastic uh well hololithic i should say um display appears
um and you see sort of the the ruddy red light of the hololith come on in the in the center of the
chamber uh first it looks more like static like a haze uh and then audio comes in and all you hear
And just like, just screaming, just, just this, this background screaming that
brailed through the entire area. Uh, Evgeny?
Yeah?
Can you give me a willpower test at plus 20?
Sure. This is so stressful.
Oh, that's an 87, three degrees of failure.
He is no longer cool, cool as a cucumber.
uh evgeny um what you realize like in the rest the rest of the the astartes are are inured against
this um as as this sort of like haze of hololithic light comes together you realize that what is
being displayed um is is some some area perhaps the strategium or comms relay on board one of
of the ships um and and it it is it is coming into focus um over top of a pit and that pit
is filled with mortals who are being burned alive oh that's so cool and and so they're like
they're screams and as you can tell that they're actually being like pushed in and you get a little
like side views of some mortals being effectively like shoved some jumping on their own volition
into it and as more of them are in there and more of them are screaming um the hololith becomes more
like distinct and refined until you see uh one astartes uh in the sort of orange uh pumpkin color
of the endless conflagration a great horn helm and a a wicked looking two-handed axe that seems
to end on some kind of flamer apparatus um held in one hand uh staring through the view screen at
you um the rest of you you know generally speaking this is kind of like commonest arty stuff but
For our dear friend the mortal, um, this is, this is kind of a lot to take in, my friend.
So, I'd like you to roll me a d100 plus 30.
Fuck.
Oh, no.
Let the mortification begin.
Fuck.
Determines how many rats pour out of your face.
No!
Oh!
Oh!
98!
No!
oh no that's a lot of rats here we go super mario roll me a 1d5 i love this game
is he about to pass the podcast listeners the total there was 128
oh maximum so i want to set the scene right like this hololithic image is coming into into
like refined light the horrific realization as you're seeing mortals being shoved into this
pyre in some kind of ritual that seems to augment their communication system you've getting you like
you have this crack moment when you realize what's happened the rest of you are unfazed by this
you've getting you start vomiting and you won't stop for the next 30 seconds um but i'm going to
assume that the Astartes in the room
continue
the conversation as
you are retching in the background.
It's kind of like that awkward time during
COVID when the newscasters would have their pets
in the background. It's just our pets just throwing
up in the webcam view.
I think literally
you've done anything.
I'm so
fucked up.
Just like,
Ugh, someone clean that off.
Now you're getting into the spirit, Evgeny.
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
Beth is just like,
She's not here, she's in a chapel somewhere
laying her own skin.
Bethael's going to step between the hollow display
and Evgeny so they can't see him.
And just like shuffles over to the side, like, covering the awkward thing in the frame.
We're so good at this, dude.
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
Oh god, there's no arm, there's more, there's more!
Come on, you guinea, go until it's only bile, then continue going.
It's all, it's all bile, sir.
Keep it up. Keep going. You're doing me proud.
You're doing great, sweetie.
I hope I all cut monsters and mice.
Keep it up.
You're doing well.
Oh, god.
Yeah.
Give me a challenging willpower test now.
Not again.
You can't keep doing this to him.
Failure at 58 for 2 degrees.
I'm following the rules of the game, okay.
I didn't- I didn't-
This feels like BDSM with dice, man.
That's what I love about it.
Welcome to my fucking world, Zoran.
You have to be a masochist to play this game.
You kind of do, yeah.
It's really good, though.
I really enjoy it. It's really fun.
It does.
Unfortunately, I keep coming back for more every week.
cool neat so what is the uh what's the failure mean thurston you know yeah 50 in the die
it's two degrees uh i'm just gonna you know what um for no apparent reason hulky if you
could just open your discord um oh yeah no sure be cool be cool just don't say anything about that
we'll come back to this uh all right so um so so so yeah so so Bethael you've stepped in front of
me like weeping vomiting Evgeny um as as you do so and you sort of take your take your state there
um you can feel that like something like like even your leg sort of hurts a bit more
um but generally generally speaking um generally speaking you're able to to cover you getting this
this this astarte is with the axe with the the flame tip on it and the horned helm kind of
stares directly through the hololith like unimpressed again the screaming continuing
in the background seems to be waiting for one of you to make a statement i by zante misfit
commander of the emperor class battleship the carcass bid you greetings who do i have the honor
of addressing see i got through my secrets role there by lying i champion pogartus
most exquisite to make your acquaintance champion pogartus
as you may already be aware as you almost certainly are aware my warband and yours
had engaged a little scuffle on the surface of that dirt ball you have my sincere apologies for
that a case of mistaken identity but i understand that such things don't wave away the past
I want the fucking
I want like a fucking
deception test immediately
you got it boss
just fucking
go for it right now
and he is trained in this
I suppose
give myself plus 10
here we go
hey
that's a degree of success
hey literally because
you gave yourself that plus 10
you needed it
Because your target was 62, and you rolled 62.
Yes, that's exactly correct.
Mistaken identity, I see.
Indeed.
And as restitution, I was hoping that we might be able to aid one another
rather than destroy one another.
Though, if honor dictates that combat be that which decly,
that settles
this little spat,
I am more than willing to suggest
equitable terms for both parties.
What terms, D?
What do you have to offer us?
During our little spat,
we have managed to get the better
of four of your Astartes' complement.
We have done our due diligence
in preserving their gene seed,
at first for our use,
But then I thought, why not strike an accord?
What sort of accord?
Well, before I continue any further and elucidate you as to those details,
I would like to ask, if you do not take offense,
what is it that you are hoping to accomplish by glassing the poor world of Dahab?
It took the lives of our warband.
Thus, it must be cleansed in fire.
All the screaming is intensifying as these words come out.
Yes, I understand.
You care for justice, do you, Marine?
What the very least, retribution as restitution.
Byzantine, identify what it is.
that is a good point uh he said it must pay yeah by it i assume you mean the world
correct it must burn well then why don't i offer you recompense i issue to you and your cohort
an honorable challenge
a proposition for a duel
I can easily
gather those that
engaged in combat against your own
number
and you may nominate an equitable
and equal supply of
warriors equal in number
I should add
to face against them
that is stupid
well
use this
by Zendi
so that our Corny could easily best him, he fears.
It is.
You know, I can't think of a single martial god of ours
that doesn't enjoy a good bloodletting.
From Khorne to Tzeentch to Nergal and even glorious Slaanesh,
A contest of arms between champions is the lifeblood of our people, our religion, and our way.
What, pray tell, is so stupid about that?
Why would we waste more numbers?
This is why we lose the war.
He's unfaithful, not wearing the Seek Ascension and Power of the Dark Gans.
tell him
that if he won't grab it
we will
when he fails to cleanse
and although
offering
Bethael as our champion
can be an interesting
road
Byzantine considers
Lithos' words
mulls them over
yeah you do not have to follow
or anything
and then turns back to the screen you must forgive me i believe i have underestimated your cunning
for you are quite correct you speak to a truth at the heart of many war bands
one that i have ever labored implied to correct is it you want what is your objective on this
blighted world
we chase after
a great champion
actually before I tell you
anymore
I do have many secrets
does someone just like
does someone just see Byzantine like
teeth clenching
and stepping
this is how we this is actually
the best way to just break up speaker
monologuing and then throw like literally
a force pass the ball here
Quick, someone else, come in and save us.
Okay, who's got good fellowship?
This is important.
I actually have an idea.
Okay.
I will propose, like, Lifos will send a thought in,
basically, like, noticing that Byzantium is now, you know,
having his thing.
He's struggling.
Lifos will go,
Lie.
Tell them that you know the source of their pain,
and we too
wish to help eliminate it
or further
we can take it out
in single combat
and if we fail
the planet is still free
to bombard
we know the source
of their pain
I failed to tell you what I'm thinking
psychically I made another roll
and another failure
god i gotta get that willpower up i know i was gonna say before uh because before zoran was
gonna immediately give the ball back to byzanti to continue talking i was gonna suggest that we
have someone else who has fellowship step in and co-commentate this you know spread it out a bit
more nope i got a halfway decent intimidate but my fellowship 26 i got i got charm known and i've
got fellowship i could step in and assist with this but i'm not gonna i'm not gonna tread on
speaker stones if he's not gonna have me do it though he did just give it back i mean you can
always rewind it's not like it's set in stone yeah if you if you want to speak up and say this
shit that i literally can't that is absolutely welcome in this situation the problem is i don't
know exactly what you're trying to say i'm trying well i again i was just uh they just asked what
the hell we wanted and i was about to tell him oh we're chasing after this fucking dark apostle
um that uh has wronged us right okay i wanted to make sure your plan past that point was not
i want all of your stuff i want all of your fighters i want all of your marines i want them
in my house bring them to me now out of character i will tell you what my objective is right now
okay talking to these guys right yeah they are shockingly more reasonable than i thought
and they have hit secretly on one of byzantine's own personal values
which is that uh you know constantly blowing up everything and being like insane marauding
morons that completely disintegrate into madness is not very good for winning the long war
so by zanti is thinking in light of this which lithos very clearly noted as weakness
by zanti sees opportunity he thinks that it might be possible if not to get what he wants bloodlessly
he might even be able to get these guys on our side and form a war band with them
okay i think again knowing that now is helpful to know and i will say cephas's line is to be
more diplomatic than like outright hostile here so he might step in once by zante is is having his
issues with uh secrecy once again uh yeah well he was just asked so like he was basically asked
you know who like or about what their what their objective was and so that was kind of where we
left off there yep because he had an answer and cephas will tromp forward and he will place a hand
on Byzantium's shoulder.
I believe I can respond in regard to that.
Elucidate them, brother.
We are not here for any greater purpose
than searching for one specific individual.
And we would get information from this individual,
provided, of course, they yet live,
and this is not all just a huge waste of our time.
The individual in question is a dark apostle.
whom we are hunting.
We have no other qualms with this planet,
and once we have achieved what we need to,
we are more than willing to cede it
to your crushing grip.
But perhaps it would be a wiser choice
for us to combine efforts,
as you may no doubt have seen
through our incidental accosting of your own forces.
We are ourselves not to be trifled with lightly.
Perhaps a meeting of the minds is more due here.
And if you need me to, I will do a charm.
Yeah, give me a charm and plus 20.
Okay, I'm going to spend another infamy as well
to put that to a plus 30 total.
Okay, ready to fight.
Not that, not that, not that, please.
Charm.
I will do that as an easy.
oh boy that's a 37 compared to a 74 for five degrees of success so you you make your case
um with the rest of your companions standing by as you do so there's like a momentary like
flicker in the hall and suddenly like more mortals are like shoved into the flames which causes again
the image to enhance enough to be visible once again uh the the marine momentarily looks down
per goddess he stares at the flames and the like increase of individuals then stares back up
maybe a quizzical look behind the helmet you're not sure we have tried we have wasted time here
we shall make this offer
you shall put our progenoid
on a torpedo
you shall dispatch it from your vessel
and we shall collect it
once we have collected it we shall depart
this accursed world and leave it to you
we have no
desire to stay here
if we can have
this gene seed of our fallen back
then we can
depart in peace
cephas steeples his fingers for a moment or two to where are you heading brother the next place to
burn care to tell us it in the event that our paths should cross again we shall leave the eye
for a time leave the world to the false emperor destroy the temples that we once created i use
just three cruises it's a low chuckle from pergottis you should know we would never say
but if that is agreeable to you then we can forego any future engagements
I quite like you
and I have no
problems with such an arrangement
I will have to confirm
okay sorry
I was like I just love that you're like
I have no problem excellent proceed
camera pans to the rest of your
party
allow us a moment
allow us a moment to confer
I may be interested
in further dealings beyond simply this writing of wrongs and i may have certain
traits to negotiate a moment we will be in contact and i'll gesture to someone to cut the line
there's like a a screaming of like burned people that ends the comms
like um evgeny can get up to his feet at this point i have a question thurston
on the bridge right where we're all at and stuff is it just when we're not there is it just the
captain and the speaker so there's the captain the captain's voice and then there's rows of like
servitors that and like i was really hoping no one was there so he's like he does the hand motion
the cut but then he realized there's no one else on this bridge and he's like ah and he
he doesn't go over no no he's established in past that there's like a bunch of servers
that sort of operate things no you're good you're good i had a funny in the head i was like okay i
gotta get it out there was also a me waiting going like he was like i would never we would
never say brother he's like he keeps many secrets you know all right sorry i got him out thank you
thank you for your time
well I think this is going very well
but I would like something
for all of our hard work and efforts
Cephas
Cephas will look at Bethael
and then back to Byzante
Byzante
I do believe that
in light
of our association with them
surely we can
ask very politely
for a new
weapon for our brother
Oh, we already took some, didn't we?
Yes, but a better one.
Oh.
You think too small.
No, we can't reveal our weakness and demand individual munitions.
We are part, or rather aboard, a battlecruiser, a battleship,
something that outclasses their tonnage by several factors.
It takes two cruisers to be able to reliably and comfortably engage a battleship
in ideal situations.
For the moment, they have us outgunned.
Yes.
But if we truly make it known
the depths at which this carcass is forced to operate,
it may be such that
if Pagottis doesn't act on our weakness,
a more cunning Major Domo will.
But if we have something to trade,
for say a compliment of fighters from their devastator could be money could be souls it
could be promethium fuel i like that you i like that you assume there's a devastator out there
i assume there's either a devastator or there's a heavy cruiser um which is oh what's the class
oh what's the carrier class oh it's so good it's not the acaron whatever his body opens up his
light carrier box of battlefleet gothic oh which one is it yeah life helps me you'll want to
sorry go ahead no i was just gonna say you'll want to check uh the ships of the gothic sector
page 124 unless unless they're flying imperial ships they've either got a devastator or a
Stygies.
There's one thing
to consider in trade.
What?
It was obvious
that they showed us
what they need.
They simply need
kindling on this ship.
How much? How many Prometheum?
How many Prometheums?
How many people?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I know exactly what Sauron fucking means.
Yeah, yeah.
Prometheum's too valuable no no he's talking about
the people
at this
at that mention
at you saying that
if Geddy staggers to his feet
you
you don't
seriously mean you're just going to hand
over more souls
so they can toss it into that pit
do you Lifos
if he could smile
he would look at you dead in the eyes
and go
yeah we can get what we want without needlessly wasting lives not those who are already devoted
to the cause not spending the very lives who you in all of your years loyal traitor enlightened or
damned had built a galaxy for one of the conservators explodes it doesn't matter
how many have to die but to remind each and every one of you that no matter how many glands you have
or meters of ceramite you're behind you a second one explodes and are human the only
our inheritors of this galaxy to see what's going on there it doesn't matter
if you keep dialogue or any one any one of those astartes dies at the end of the day it doesn't
matter how many fires burn on how many worlds we will take this galaxy okay i'll just do this i
know what it is oh my tart was 45 and i got a 34 um there's some like profound affliction
that has affected for for evgeny um his his irritation right now um is causing things
around him to break down um thus he's affecting your comms relay his his anger has manifested
enough that it is damaging the comms relay i wish to cast compel on yevgeny
if you do that byzantia is going to lift his gun oh like to him okay to you
as he raises his hand and turns to you he goes like i don't think you would understand why you
think that's a good idea but let me say from someone who pursue pursues knowledge it would
be a bad idea as you would probably need to see what's happening around you and don't worry
he won't die
I'm just calming him down
a bit
Lifos
I agree that firing this weapon
at you would be a very bad idea
but what would be a worse idea
is if you were to go through
and alter Evgeny's mind
Evgeny is completely
and utterly correct
I concur
whoa really
we all look at everyone drops their shit
Really, dude?
Like, yeah?
What?
I can't believe that.
Really?
Yeah, like, we drop our shit.
Really?
We're fucked up, dude.
Like, what the fuck?
Bethael is grinding his teeth.
Bethael is surprised at this, actually.
Yeah, Bethael is grinding his teeth about it.
His brows are knit together.
There's obviously, like, a conflict playing out behind his face.
his arms are crossed tightly there are so many others out there who have yet to see the light
it is those who have not yet awoken to the fact that they are slaves in a game where they are
already fated to lose and be spent those lives you could take but not those who have already had
their eyes opened
you of all
people, Lyphos
who've professed
your own betrayal and everything
that happened on Prospero
how many were wasted
by the dogs
of the Imperium
you could build worlds yet again
and enlighten so many others
like myself, whose eyes
you have opened
we could burn
the remainder of this galaxy
to ashes
not those who are already
toiling to see a new dawn
a new truth
spend the lives of those who have not already
devoted to building a new world
but not my
fellow man
Lifos will look to Byzante
and look back to Yevgeny
how many more things exploded
during that
there were three
there were three total
okay now an extra
i'm in such an annoying position right now because i would love cephas to try and
weigh in but i look at my disgrace of waste and i'm like no cephas would be okay with us
wasting our resources actually yeah i i hate that i hate that that waste is the thing that he has
but i gotta i gotta abide by it so instead he is going to simply keep his mouth shut
He would like to buy Xanthi and go.
I'm surprised that you take that for you know.
You get a lot of things that you desire to reach your goals.
It's always paid in blunder.
But you see, I'm a relatively fastidious spender.
I like only to pay these checks.
when it is necessary to expend what i lose evgeny is completely correct yes we could offer him water
a boatload of menials assuming we even had them to lose and in doing so we would be no better
than the corpse emperor and how he treated our lives you know earlier in the session
when I was joking that
Byzantium did not think
Evgeny had it in him to be a chaos
lord?
Change his mind.
I would like to retract that
statement.
That is no longer the case after
this session.
It's good. He's going to need support like that
going forward.
My foes will look at his
data slate.
If I have the stat or access to it,
how many individuals do we have on board?
um okay so first i'm looking at skeleton crew requirements for an emperor class battle
um gosh it doesn't have all this all the specifics of this of this battleship
um i don't know like probably like tens of thousands yeah i'm trying to get a ratio of
of that because like there could be several thousand in our size of a battleship in our world
so tens of thousands seems small like very small like for an emperor class battleship
um okay uh looking at it
probably 120 000 yeah it's basically a flying new york city in multiple ways
we are also broke and that's part of it too it's like you're not like you're not like
like you probably have 120 000 souls on board not all of them are necessarily crew
yeah we did get that contingent of troops that uh urn bill thinks would be a bad idea to go
squandering but cephas is uh presumably ambivalent or potentially amenable to throwing them away
you also can just clear the lower decks yeah that's that's what lifo says he's not thinking
about getting rid of you know the premium stock he's thinking of like what are the ones like down
into the depths that like they all have their families who aren't working enough you know
that's how evil he's thinking right it's like how many down there can he can he weed out the chaff
the offer up is basically a sacrifice so by example he can get the armaments that he wants
and to make this emperor class battleship a lot more effective he's thinking of the long game
and because of his chaosness he's like i'm okay with sacrificing random humans to get power so
then i can get more other humans like whatever will help accelerate our cause here no it makes
total sense psychologically oh yeah yeah yeah absolutely it's just morally abhorrent but come
on yeah and no i mean but it does we are all black crusade but we also have our own individual
pet moral hang-ups yep uh which is great uh i love being a csm oh i love chaos so much
my zante is going to if i may zoran no yeah go ahead go ahead um my zante is going to ask
Bethael what what is it that every good sacrifice to corn needs and don't say a skull the other
thing blood ding ding and that is at the very core of all of this Lighthouse is right in what
he manages to scratch upon that in order to obtain what we need we will need sacrifice and loss
no sacrifice is worth it
if it does not draw blood
and bleed ichor
on the floor
but
that does not mean that we heedlessly
send lives
away
especially when we are already
in such a dismal
state
I propose the following
and keep in mind
we do need to see if those miscreants
are even interested
but as you may all recall we've recently received a shipment of imperial guardsmen
i'm willing to replace a blood sacrifice with a gamble i think wait hold on oh no
yeah i've talked i've talked too long uninterrupted i need to make a willpower chance
No
So rather than tell you about his plan
He's just gonna do it
I need
Byzantium
You can do it loudly
And as you're narrating to yourself
It will be
Byzantium will look over and
Oh my fucking god
For podcast listeners it was a 98 with 7 degrees of failure
Sorry guys
I always forget to let you all in
But trust me
You're just missing bad rolls.
I'd like to call up my friends, the Guardsmen Regiment.
I have their names written down in a notepad, Doc, but it seems to evade me for right now.
I foreplayed my notes on them, got deleted.
They transitioned to platform, so.
That's why they got deleted.
Hansi Ekelbart of the Praetorian Guard.
Major General, is that you on the line?
Well, sir, we've been monitoring the situation.
Are we expecting boarders?
I'll have my men ready.
Not at all.
It seems as if we've been able to find something of a peaceful arrangement.
And I need to call upon your men to make a sacrifice.
A sacrifice?
Yes, immaterial.
we're boarding them excellent not quite though i do love the spirit next time almost certainly
no instead i need to know the exact stocks of flamers and heavy flamers amongst your
compliment one sec one sec making thirst to do math no no no no i'm doing something far
far far he's rolling a d4 force no no no no no no no no no no no i am actively checking to see
if the old praetorian guard ever had flamer models as part of their special weapons
uh ebay has uh as as proven proven this correct um there is indeed a praetorian guard
with flamers so uh the cannon will not be broken i will allow this i am also going to very quickly
send easy a picture remember this uh for later yes so he can use that ballista of uh warhammer
praetorian guards with flamers um all right uh he responds back out of all of our infantry units we
sometimes apply flamers uh i would say one out of every six infantry units we possess oh that gives
Probably about
all said and done
60 flamers.
Very good.
I would like to request that you
begin sequestering those flamers
and the subsequent...
Those flamers...
Greed, disgrace.
Those flamers...
It's all right, sir. We rarely use them, to be clear.
Our regiment prefers
the elephant gun now that is a weapon very good prepare an arrangement get them sequestered away
we may be trading them for some vital supplies i assure you your men will not go unrestocked
and our first priority will be seeing that your men are armed with replacements
excellent where should we bring where should we bring the arms to
prepare them in one of the holding bays as you wish excellent the link is dead
now here's my plan
you're gonna say like all right let's see what the dice say
well i'm sure you can all intuit it by now can you intuit my plan i assume you wish to not a word
no i don't know do i
If I were to guess, we're going to trade flares for, I guess, um,
I assume, some very expensive fighters.
Yes, precisely.
Seems like a very lopsided trade.
Yes, that would be the case,
if this were not an incredibly themed attachment of Astartes.
Because people love flamethrowers.
I also have Chaos Marine lore.
Oh, perfect, yeah.
Kind of roll that to see if they would accept this deal.
Yeah, give me a, give me that and a plus.
I like that this, this deal can go one of two ways.
Either, oh, we love flame weapons.
please, we'll give you a very favorable trade
or we are the Inuit people
and you're attempting to sell us an ice machine.
Literally.
You see, here's what gives me the strength
and the passion to believe it's going to be the first one.
It's because the war gamer nature
is to continue buying models
even with a great big, great plastic.
You know, that is fair.
That is fair.
Meanwhile, you assume Purgatus to be a gamer.
I do.
Yes.
I can't believe we're trying to sell him Warhammer bits.
I was about to say, the camera pans five feet from Purgatus.
He's got a print farm of Elegoo printers just blasting up bits.
One of those cruisers doesn't have a foundry full of menials
cranking out flame weapons for their use.
hey i've got i let me reach into my bag and i grab a tiny pinch of flamers and i give them to the guy
who is like 70 flavors by volume okay i i okay okay i i have to step in with it with a brief
story because it is super relevant and funny and yeah oh please do so so paizo printables the thing
i've been working on at work we were doing 3d sculpt we've partnered with this awesome company
called titanforge they're great um polish company i've met their their their owner a few times
um so we're we're out for drinks at pax unplugged and we're chatting and he he's regaling me with
you know some of his history like as a gamer like i was like you know the the world champions for
warhammer for team poland and all this stuff and he's like in fact titanforge got started
because i really really needed to make melta guns for my death
because i couldn't get melted guns for my death and so it just sticks with me that here's this
company i partnered with because i can't get my fucking plague marines melted guns i'll make my
own goddamn melted guns that is exactly what has happened here you're like okay have more
farmers guy have have the bits have the bits you need them for your army to imagine all the people
he's throwing into the fire isn't just for the power and stuff of the ship it's actually just
to melt them down to make more bits oh my god they're the rest
this fucking infernal print farm i love it yeah we walk in there's just
spools of humans like going into a fucking printer then we find out it's actually a war
mill he's like oh there's 500 thunderhawks but for some reason you can't get these fucking
flamers off screen while we're having this conversation for goddess is being a pretzel
and his major domo is like sir we we have this new rhino that we off the presses we need to
begin decorating it he goes oh very well reaches into his drawer puts up a packet of citadel skulls
just put these on it
Sorry, I don't know what you were going to say, Zim.
No, I'm just, I'm just, I'm waiting with bated breath to see which side of the coin Thurston is going to have it fall on.
Well, are you signaling him back and being like, hey, look.
Well, I still need the roll first.
I need to know what the plus was.
Oh, yeah, because you were, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Plus 10, plus 10.
Plus 10, okay.
You were going to see if they would have done it.
78 for target was 55 is three degrees of failure hard to know i ain't got a fucking clue
so life post is like i mean they really like fire i mean yeah flamers make fire
i'm like it's like really like this is what we're gonna bet on
my phone i always put this hand down as after yevgeny's tantrum in his mind
and he's like
he's like give it a shot
he falls his
arms waiting for the
like waiting to say
my plan would have been better if it
fails and if it succeeds
he'll just hate life
that is your right
literally anytime
any of you fuckers do anything
that is the right of everyone
else in the party to be doing the entire time
because that's how this fucking game works
Cephas is very happy
that we have taken war gear
from one of our own retinues of units
and are now throwing it away.
He's very happy about this.
You gotta spend money to make money.
He's just happy.
No, you want to know the great thing about waste, Zoran?
Yeah.
If there is an opportunity for me to waste a resource,
I'm supposed to do it happily.
That's so funny.
I can't do it too much
because it's not my own personal thing
and I'm struggling to play with it
but he is very lackadaisical
about loss of life
so in this case
it's kind of the same
we may as well just like flush them down
the toilet in his mind
pretty much
we're gonna find out
a couple families
for some thunder hawks seems like a good deal
yeah
we're gonna get on the line he's gonna say oh no
you if you had suggested
that maybe you would sacrifice some
menials for us then we would
take you seriously
okay
let me rein us in here let's continue
the story agreed
okay what are you doing what are you doing
well it seems like we're all out of the court
yes
my first fault is arms
I care not
as long as we return to our objective soon
find the dark apostle
and wring his neck
I'll take that as a glowing endorsement
if we are not going to fight
these endless conflagration
then they are useless to us
ah
well that's the sort of stupid shit I thought you'd say
alright let's get the monitor
back on
I'm sorry Odo I love you
I'm so sorry
No, that is how Korn and Slaanesh talk to each other.
It's totally okay.
I'm crying.
Oh, God.
When you say, and also when you say, like, turn it back on, I'm just about to say,
all right, let's throw our guys in the pit and just.
we're all gonna teleport out of your ship and jump into the pit
okay story okay so yeah okay so you you the the hololith begins to crackle back on
uh there is static what's evgeny doing as this is turning on
vianney is standing pensively at attention just witnessing that unfolds and he is not
permitted to speak to the other superhumans not yet he has yet he's calmed down he's a
little bit calmer than he was before because they've relented if he probably won't get set
off again he's probably fine maybe okay uh as as you're standing there like waiting to be set
up the scope falls off your uh weapon that's holstered on your back it just like tinks onto
the floor oh okay uh there is also moaning from another servitor as it takes a bit longer for the
link to be established uh but then the screaming returns and the image comes into focus with per
goddess um walking walking into frame again holding his large uh imposing axe-like weapon
you've had time to discuss then
indeed we have
and we are already preparing
to meet your demands
excellent how many of your
slave stock are you willing to offer
about that I actually
was thinking about something else
I would like
to propose a trade
one not in the spirit of never conflict
brought us down there on the
or below let us leave that
in the past let us
focus on the future how we might bring war to our enemies rather than one another one of our
several of our thunderhawk compliments were recently damaged they were damaged beyond repair
and i couldn't help but notice that on your ascent you happen to have a few or at least one
venerable vessel still in operation i was wondering we happen to have ample supplies
of flamers among our guardsmen regiments would you be interested in a trade of war material
hmm are they startes weaponry no they are for human use you have no astartes weaponry
Of course I have a start as weaponry, but I figured we'd be talking on the scale of massive manufacturing, not small things like an individual bolter.
I assume that you looted the bodies of my fallen kin. I will take their equipment back.
Oh, well, that could be arranged. That was not too daring.
You shall also add in these flamers now that you have told me of their existence.
Yes, and in return, you shall give us two Thunderhawk transports.
No, you shall provide an additional-
I cut off comms.
We'll say-
Okay.
Awww.
Alright.
Leifos has a hand up to his temple and go,
Why did you tell him we were in a weaker position with damaged Thunderhawks?
Because-
You could have said we needed additional.
I've noticed we're still not in a
Thunderhawk. Yes, I've noticed
that too, just give it a bit.
There we go!
Yes!
Yes!
To be fair, out of
the party, Bethael
is the one who stepped in a
Thunderhawk.
I am so
fucking proud of you.
That's beautiful.
God damn.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
That's how you do it.
I hand you the fucking UN award.
God damn.
That fucking clip from The Office of shaking the hand.
Yes.
Dude, I clap so hard my hands hurt.
Oh, God.
Thirstin.
I could have gone better.
it's not over yet
this is the chase
don't you know
Thurston
Byzantium is going to turn
to the captain's voice
please prepare a warp jump
to the neighboring sector
what
shush shush shush
we will have to
extricate to the mandible point
of this system
you know what
no we won't
but
prepare a warp jump
one that can be cancelled at our leisure
do you understand the
difficulties of transferring
into the immaterium in system
hmm
if it is not done at a correct position
the results could be catastrophic
yes perhaps you are right
that
but it would be such a grand gesture
if we were to make a warp jump right here right now would we look terribly foolish or would we
look daring i believe we would look very she just blinks at you like she is just she doesn't know
how to respond like like all right so if i put my my foot down all on the gas while i'm on the
brake but then i let go of the brake is that gonna be cool or am i gonna die okay so long suckers as
i rub up my motorcycle and it disappears leaving me dead in the dirt nearby correct okay all right
all right but i do want to mention i do want to mention okay yes yeah uh-huh speaker d may not
have thought about the mandible point but i do know that when your shit's getting rocked in
battlefleet gothic you can make an emergency you can make an emergency warp jump at any point in
of battlefield unless they're only fighting at the middle point that was my thing you can't you
can't you can't you can't um that's not gonna make us look better if we make an emergency jump out
nearby them you are losing the trade you are correct i don't like your point i assume what
you're trying to do is go oh you don't want your fucking g all right fuck you then starts leaving
i said that's what you're trying to do i want them to message us back because they still haven't
gotten what they wanted and i want them to come to the negotiating table and i know it's going to
work because captain picard did it once yeah you're trying to shift the negotiation of power
you want to be in power instead of you yes i will point out we received
Thurston, correct me if I'm wrong
3 gene seed
Was it 4?
I thought 1 ran away and we fought 4 marines
No, we fought 5
Didn't we?
We fought 5, 1 got away in the thunder hawk
We killed 4 in the field
We have 4 gene seed
That's a lot
It is, but
Huh?
He was willing to just obliterate
us anyway. Because he thought it was
lost. He may as well
obliterate us then and just take ours.
He was really willing to
negotiate when you were going to hand it over.
It was when Speaker started adding
more things to the deal and was like
I add this but also some
flamers.
Flamers. Are they
Stardust flamers? Mortal
flamers. Yes.
Now listen.
If Genny steps up again, what's happening, dog?
If you're going to warp training within the system, why not take the risky move?
Why not big back this?
Translate on top of their conning tower.
Crush them.
What?
What?
That's not how it works.
Yes, it is.
I believe Evgeny is currently undergoing a great deal of stress.
I don't
I don't know enough about warp translation
to be able to offer anything
the fucking mass
of darkness that is
on the throne comprised
of eyes nothingness and
pain groans
the art of the deal is alive
and well in the 42nd millennium
okay
alright alright
this is how business
actually works in high cities
then why do we not
Raphael the corn berserker
save me
save Thurston Hill
with the game pass
this is why I'm okay with it
he just motions to Evgeny
I
tire
of these negotiations
we
send the gene seed back
and let them leave
or
we simply go down
and weather whatever storm
they bring on us
we still have Anonke to find
I have an idea
Cephas is going to
go up to Byzante
Byzante I have an idea
for us to make this situation
a bit more right
I will require your trust
in this
I do not require any secrets to be told
or anything beyond that
I merely require you to trust my word
I don't know that I do
That's fine
I just need you to do it
What are you going to do?
I'm going to call them back
I would like you
to scream
and sprint out of this room as I do so
No!
Trust me
No!
I cast compel
Why not?
oh shit there it is big dog all right so that's going to be a difficult opposed willpower test
from you zoran and then it will be a um a just flat willpower test which is the opposing willpower
test from uh first off by zanti i want to ask a player permission speaker are you okay with it
if not i'm not gonna do it i'm not it's not it's a player controlling thing i don't want to force
that on you so i just want to if that is what like those would do in this moment you are welcome to
it okay then then i'll continue to go um okay so willpower are you gonna like push it to the limit
Oh, I'm gro- yeah, full bore. Fuck it.
He's gonna blow his ass up as well.
I- I can't speak!
Or I can't!
And I can't fuckin' do shit!
And I'm the charisma
fuckin' character!
I can't believe this shit. Oh my god.
I love this game. This game's so much fun.
Yeah.
So here's the question.
The dark gods giveth, and the dark gods taketh
away, Speaker. They taketh
What did they give?
I'm waiting for them to give me something.
They gave you plenty of times to pick on Bethael.
Now it's time to pay the price.
You know, if Bethael were picking on me, I'd agree.
He did.
He did just a little bit.
He did just a little bit.
He did just a little bit.
Sorry.
Just to make sure I know what I'm actually rolling.
Am I rolling the spell, which is the willpower stuff,
and then that is it?
so yeah so how it works is it's you make a willpower test at minus 10 that's the focus
power so you do a willpower at minus 10 as opposed and this will be opposed by by zante
making a willpower test so that's why it's called the post test okay so i'm rolling my straight up
willpower not the psychic power mine no no it is it is a it is psych it is your okay it is a
those are different because i need to make sure i'm getting the bonuses yeah okay
hold on now it is a psychic power it's just but but you're up minus 10 for this yes
uh i got a oh 15 okay okay so that's gonna be a lot now you do have to roll me the psychic
Phenomenon.
Phenomenon.
Phenomenon.
Evgeny throws up some more.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
I love that grenade, guys.
We can roll into it with the screaming.
I love it a lot.
We can do it.
Our entire ship blows up.
That's right.
The scar bring shows up.
It goes like, look who got the trade.
I am.
Are you kidding?
I am.
Like, look, I have never in my life wanted to see the 100 be rolled on this.
But, like, literally, if Zoran's like, I'm going to tell your character what to do, and then fucking winks out of existence, I will not let him play Lifo's ever again.
Because he will be fucking dead.
Roll that goddamn roll now, Zoran.
Stay on target.
Give me a second.
Stay on target.
Come on now.
Come on now.
We have to hold the stuff, because I...
Suspense, yes.
Yeah, thank you.
Oh, no.
I was bringing up the roll, even though this should do all the stuff correct.
so it rolls perils
I've got the table
I've got it
I've got the table
there's a little warp
so I roll the d100 here
uh so
yep
uh huh
warp burn
a violent
burst of energy
uh from the warp
smashes into the
slinker's mind
sending him
reeling
he suffers
2d5 wounds
ignoring toughness
bonus and armor
and is stunned
for 1d5
rounds
he fucking
explodes
so here's the
2d5. I suffer
4, 5, 6.
And I am stunned for
4. I would like, I guess narratively
it's Flaanesh going, uh-uh.
Yeah.
And as
we determined earlier,
order of operations is this
takes place before.
So you're stunned so you can't even
issue the command. You're set
fucking flying. You hit the
wall, sort of like
peel down a bit.
by zante's mind is compelled but there's no action well hold on i could i could succeed
i i rolled a nine you did oh my god yeah
but i did roll a nine that's something yeah it's it's it's it's enough that i will say that by
zante is is able to um not like run out in terror but just kind of stand there dumbfounded from the
psychic assault um this is probably like with with lifo's fucking flung to the wall and stunned
and by zante's sort of uh by us stunned by the psychic car this is cephas's chance
i what i wanted to do and i can't do it now and that's okay because this is
marginally funnier i was gonna say we had a mutiny and killed by zante
i know you were going to that's why i didn't trust you
i said we i said we were trying to do that and we weren't going to do that
is that a good idea the hollow the hollow speaker speaker speaker i want you to hear me out on this
for one second you are a chaos lord you have a big hammer you have bitches in your throne room
you have a flamethrower hammer that you swing around and you are burning people to death
a guy just pitched you a really bad deal and then hung up you get a call back it's the second in
command and says sorry about that we killed him uh move to attack are you amused move to attack
formations we're taking your fucking battleship that's way nicer than ours okay that's you don't
know you don't know that we don't have disgrace greed so that's just what i by zante but also i
speaker d would do because i am i i have infinite self-confidence in my ability to traverse the
impossible so maybe this guy would have a different reaction you also would you are also aware we have
no fighters and he is not that is true that's well but i'm i'm crazy enough to have to potentially
try this even if you did have fighters that's what i'm saying okay my my issue is asking a guy
crazy enough to throw his entire small fleet of guys at a giant vessel that could obliterate them
if it had proper support i really like gambling i know you do i okay now i just imagine what is
gonna happen is when cephas calls up he tilts the hololithic camera slightly so the picture is just
cephas with life of like a terrible burn coming off of his jet like like there has been conflict
on the bridge. You know what? Yeah, do
that. Fuck it. I gotta, I gotta doctor
this footage somehow, man.
Exactly. Here you go.
The screaming
comes up for the third time.
They're sacrificing a lot of people
to make these collect calls, I tell you
what. Hey, look, that's the strategy.
They get more desperate for what we got.
More of a call. Oh my god.
Weisos cannot be allowed to win at the end of this.
Katya and
Polly got this.
Where is the loud one?
There has been a change in leadership.
Byzantine Misfit is no longer the captain of this vessel,
and we are assuming control.
We will be making the prior deal of the gene seed
in exchange for our ability to approach the planet
so you may continue on your burning crusade
across the Corpse Emperor's feeble lackeys.
we will hold your time no longer
do you
give me a
charm test plus 20
okay I'm gonna spend another
infamy for that yeah yeah yeah
so I'll make it a plus 30
I gotta please work
don't blow it
hell yeah 22 that's
6 degrees of success
okay okay so there's
like a pause
that sounds
acceptable
The HoloLith kind of zooms in on his face a bit.
Okay, but do you have any extra mortals?
He will briefly look over his shoulder, not to anyone in specific, but he is looking
at Yevgeny. The camera will not show who he is looking at.
In this instance, we would rather cease dealing as soon as possible.
We ourselves are on a rather tight time scale.
Even 10,000, I could trade for them.
What would you trade?
There was mention of a Thunderhawk.
I could trade a Thunderhawk.
Would a Thunderhawk and an appropriate...
Cephas would know this.
I don't presently because it's a little late.
What fucking two-handed weapon do you want?
Please just tell me now.
The chain hammer.
If you would happen to have an additional chain hammer as a show of goodwill, along with the Thunderhawk, we would consider that commensurate.
Human goop resin starts going into the thing.
Then we write an accord, and that is an acceptable trade.
All right.
Sure.
Make the arrangements.
if you could send a transporter with the mortals
and the gene seed I shall send
the thunderhawk over piloted by servitor
I shall allow it to be under your
control part way through
very well
good tidings in the war
and then there's like the hollow cuts off
with a final scream
from the mortals
and then it cuts to like the bridge of the
ship and Pregatus like takes off its helm
like pulls back some sort of
if the others knew how close we
were not to have mortals to sacrifice to make phone calls.
Oh, that'd be really bad.
We're down to our last 200,000, damn.
The fucking long-distance call cost, damn!
This is the price of doing business,
and it must be done.
No more, no less, for now.
At this point, both Byzantium and Lyphos
are kind of back to uh back to to consciousness in the traditional sense there is a chemo champagne
inspired by that same accident lifo snaps bigger what happened we go lifos is on fire
smoking i was kind of shakes his head was live was able to hear what occurred or was he just out out
yeah he could he could hear being stunned like didn't prevent you from here yeah it sounds
that cephas got your thunderhawk the way we should have done it in the first place
what did he do we traded a portion of our menial staff to them in exchange for a thunderhawk and a
replacement weapon we they were not willing to take a weapon they could already produce themselves
in addition we are sending them
10,000
it is a number
it is a statistic
we must abide by this
if we are to make it
I know
we gotta
listen he knows
Cephas's stance on this
it's just the way it goes
I honestly I really like it
because this is such a fun thing
because we're a lot of people probably got
the framing of
oh we all love you
you know kind of feeling
but here's now here's
the hard reality of the galaxy
they live in towards like no
you're just a thing
like you're not actually
a person to us
you're just a guy in an
experiment
I think in this
situation Cephas has
an opinion about this but he's not going
to wax poetic unprompted
yeah it is what it is for now what is he's been bartered i'm actually curious what is he doing
he's been fuming fuming raffle mulling over in his head the idea that no matter what there is
just wanton spilling of blood he's coping no one really gives a damn and then he's seething
one day there will be no astartes there will be no xenos there will be nobody but man
and only then
for the Imperium is but a memory
will he be free and he can rest
Cephas will approach
Evgeny
Evgeny
yes sir
I can sense your displeasure
from here
I would ask
if you are amenable to it
to join me
in one of the Lesser Nurgle chapels
I am not going to preach at you
but I believe there is some perspective
that needs to be shed
yes
if it will spare me from witnessing
the hololith again
I will join you
then we are done for now
once their vessels depart
and have kept their word
along with all the other trade deals
we have
bartered this day
I believe we are all allowed
a brief moment of respite
give Ginny
yes Byzantium chaos is freedom freedom is bondage Jesus I know he knows he
didn't I didn't mean it like that it's it's fine it's all bondage all the way
down we're all just whipped
gimps in god's hot cage
and
I think you know what
you've got the deal you've got your equipment
I think that's where we'll actually call it
for today
100%
100%
I was
going to have
talk with you again if we can if you're okay
with that we'll do that we'll do that at the start of next
episode yeah yeah okay
I do want to take that opportunity
but yes I will
please I want that conversation
what a time
Jesus
I like to imagine at the end there as they're
leaving and
everyone's going their ways
squabbling still but there's this one servitor
that comes up and kneels
down starts wiping up the puke and starts
going clean clean
clean clean
clean clean
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bye