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The environment around us is a swirling vortex of chaos, but you can navigate it when you have an anchor that can keep you steady. Each episode, Liz Herl dives into data driven strategies and real world tactics with Dr. Tim Caldwell to help you become more grounded and centered in a world that is constantly shifting and changing. Learn to effectively navigate family strife, career challenges and handle the anxiety of the unknown that the news is constantly bombarding us with. Liz is a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist and Dr. Caldwell is a retired primary care physician and personal trainer. You can lean on their decades of experience to find stability and peace without having to control circumstances or people around you. You can be anchored in chaos.
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[00:00:00]
Liz: Welcome back, Dr. Caldwell and everyone.
Tim: Thanks, Liz. Always happy to be here. Yeah. So I might as well live here. Well,
Liz: I feel like I do. I literally live here. This is a lot of work. It's quite the endeavor. It is. I never imagined
Tim: it. It's fun though. It's been A lot of fun.
Liz: Is it? It's [00:01:00] becoming more fun, maybe.
It's a lot of work.
Tim: We're getting better at it. We appreciate your patience. We do.
Liz: If you're still listening, thank you.
Tim: Oh, what do we got today? I
Liz: wanted to kind of go over I was having a conversation with you as do many of our episodes spur out of this of what it takes for an individual to look at themselves and a little bit of my side of the house today of the psychotherapy approach.
Yeah. And what do individuals. Struggle is struggle in with self healing and what it takes to be able to do that is quite significant. So the idea, as you said, is a little bit, how did you say that this morning when I said wrestling with your soul? What did you call that? Wrestling with yourself. No, I said it's like wrestling with your soul.
You said that's Jordan. Jordan. Oh, it's very Jordan esque. Jordan esque of me. It's very Jordan esque of you. Yeah. Wasn't intentional. Yeah.
Tim: It is. He's a psychotherapist too, so I'm quite aware you're in good company. Oh, he's way, way ahead of my [00:02:00] company. .
Liz: You're in good company. But anyhow, I wanted to have a further conversation, so I posed some questions and Yeah.
For you to,
Tim: yeah, I, we went over these things and we formulated some questions. I'm about bounce 'em off. You and I you do the very best you can. This is not a deposition. You're okay. . We just roll with the punches. I do appreciate it. Night. I want to know how you define the concept of self healing in psychotherapy.
Liz: Well, the idea when someone wants to come into therapy, I think that they don't realize that's actually what they're going to maybe address first is their self healing idea. That isn't the idea. It's whatever the five alarm fire is that's going on in their life currently and having you. As a clinician or a therapist, psychologist, whatever you know, title or education that you have, how you're directing that individual back to self is one of the it's a tact and it's challenging because it's very hard holding up that mirror [00:03:00] when you don't want to really just kind of come in and say, Oh, so these sound like some really you.
Significant issues you are struggling with, or you were having as an individual when it's initially, you know, presentation of these are the outside sources that are coming in and attacking
Tim: in that capacity in that role. Why is it so important that you direct it towards the patient realizing. That it's them that client centered, it's this client centered self healing.
Why is it so important?
Liz: Because that's where it really all started. Even though the journey of the individual their traumatic situations and we'll talk more about the trauma word. That is a pretty hot word right now, but that is what people have is traumatic incidences in their life and situations and abusive.
You know, dynamics that aided the self that they
Tim: are. Yeah. So the self healing can be used as a tool in their approach towards self healing. What, how can you empower your clients to do
Liz: that? Well, I think the hardest thing in the most, I mean, it sounds kind of [00:04:00] cliche, but the courageous thing to do is to identify that it actually starts with myself and it's.
A lot more comfortable for individuals to come in and say, you know, these X factors outside of my life, work, relationships people, you know, interactions are the outside stressors that are activating me and making me respond in this manner. And I'm really, I'm really not a bad guy or a bad woman or a bad person or whatever you want to say.
And, or why do I think this way? And then go into some really yeah. Just unhealthy self talk about who you are, so trying to get away from all of that, I'm not trying to pinch her off too much from your question, is getting them back on, hey, I always say at the end, be compassionate, that doesn't sometimes even enter into an individual's thought process.
Tim: So how do you assist them? How do you assist them through that
Liz: process? It's the diving into them. It's going through their history of their life of not just you know, and it's interesting that when you say that, you know, meeting a client where they're at [00:05:00] currently, it's so much bigger than that.
Whatever presenting you know, We
Tim: talked about that meeting people where they are,
Liz: it is it's, you're being able to say, all right, let's kind of do some stabilization right here and kind of see what's going on. Other factors that are kind of activating that. And then, but this is a, I always encourage and understand this is a deeper piece than you might not realize.
And now I know that there's a Okay. I don't know if it's bad rap or whatever you want to call it, but that therapy gets on. Oh, I don't want to go through all my history and all my life things. And it's like, okay, that's fine. I'm not saying that we have to, you know, dismantle your entire life.
Right. But we do have to find some key factors that represent this behavioral reaction, those cognitive process that's affecting you at a very negative level.
Tim: Sure. And that reluctance to share really. It limits my availability to parse out the things that are significant and not significant.
You may be tired of, maybe you've got a history of therapy. Maybe you're tired of telling that story. However, [00:06:00] I've never heard it. And if you could boil it down for me, I'll do the very past, very best I can to help. I did. We can together identify these are critical points in that timeline, right?
The chronological. Right.
Liz: Yeah. Yeah. So there is a tool that um, um, um, called the Gina basically a timeline of an individual's life that share this is, we'll talk
Tim: about this too. Yeah.
Liz: We'll subject. And. It gives you insight without necessarily having to go into all the nest.
I mean, you eventually get into some crevice, but you get the highlights of what's going on in an individual's life. And it's a significant tool for a psychotherapist to use to kind of gain a lot of information, especially initial intake and things of that nature to address some of the highlights that people are like, Oh, I never, I forgot about this.
And I forgot about that. That's where you
Tim: pop up. So I understand that you'd run up against some people who maybe they have a past history or just maybe it's a reluctance to share with a psychotherapist or somebody [00:07:00] who's there for them. Are there any common challenges that you'd see?
Any characteristics that you'd see about people who are reluctant to share with you?
Liz: Shame. Shame. Shame. I, they don't know me and they're so internally, you know. Yeah. Unkind to themselves that revealing that to someone else, even though there's the idea that, you know, should be that you're releasing.
Incredible information. And you know how I feel about this and I will speak to this more. I am very passionate about the position I hold when I'm sitting across from someone and releasing that information to me. And being delicate and taking that information seriously. And. Compassionately and you know, just, you're just very aware and someone's reluctant to do that because you know, it's like, I don't want them to know.
I think this or I've done this or these things have happened to me or I've done these things. So it's a and I'll speak to this and I don't know if this is coming up, but therapeutic alliance [00:08:00] getting an to know your therapist or your clinician in a way that. Yeah. You feel like this is someone that, you know, I can release all this too.
And they can hold this for me as we process through something. And that is very much so crucial to any type of treatment. I've had individuals that, you know, it's like, well, I don't really mesh with, you know, the, I always say like, yeah, of course that happens with every aspect of your life.
Like sometimes you have, it's this isn't the same, but there's a comparison, I guess. When you think about like, you're with friends that have friends and you're like, I don't even know how they're friends. Cause I don't even get it. You know, like I don't mesh with those people and it's not necessary.
It's a personality difference. Same thing. You know, a clinical approach can be a little different. Clinical personality can be off and say, you know, that. That's just not my thing, but you have to, I really encourage people individual seeking therapy to speak up. Don't just roll. Well, like, I think it's going to eventually get better because there's this internalization like, well, I'm already the problem.
So it can't be the [00:09:00] therapist or the, you know, the individual, the professional across from me actually to just be a vibe that's not gelling and you kind of need to address.
Tim: If I'm hearing you correctly, what you're saying is it's important that it's important the relationship between both. Physician or treating therapist and their patient, but you have a good rapport and that the trust is Legal, moral, ethical all of the above, right?
And you can't disclose and you'll never disclose and it's up to the therapist and the patient what bond they form there about how much disclosure happens there. But you need to know that when you see your psychotherapist, you have the ability to spill your guts. The more, the better. Usually.
Right? And then the therapist will help guide that thing. Well, that's interesting, but let's stay on topic, which is their job, which is their job, right? Because that's exactly right. And that's important. I think it is, it would be on my side of the house. Not everybody likes, you know, everybody wants something different, [00:10:00] right?
No, not everybody's going to like me as a trainer because of the way I train, but that's just the way
Liz: it is. I shared that with you as well, and that is, I've shared with anyone that sits across from me that the understanding that I may not be the best fit for you and that's okay.
Like, this is not a personal interaction of, Oh, I really hope you like me. It's, you know, I. I want to make sure that I am you know, the well suited for you as you are well suited for. Yeah.
Tim: Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly right. But take, which then takes us then to the mind body connection, right? So in the practice of how you incorporate the self healing through mind and body maybe we could talk a little bit about that connection with that, how that works for self
Liz: healing.
Well, you know, we spoke a little bit back a few episodes, maybe even in our intro of talking about the reason why this collaboration even came to be is because I have a strong belief in that we are one with our head up here and down here, like connected, but we aren't. And we don't even realize [00:11:00] how detached we are from our bodies, especially when it comes to it.
So, Traumatic incidences or situations or belief systems or all kinds of things that separate us. And we hold them in different parts of us. And there's been a lot of information that's come down. Very common book that I've shared with you is the body keeps the score. A lot of individuals have read this and it, that's exactly what it's talking about.
The connectedness of our mind and our body. Dr. Vanderkoek is the. Dr. Bessel. Okay. Okay.
Tim: I think it's kook. It may be cook, but I think it's kook. Dr.
Liz: Bessel. Yes. Yeah. I apologize. Yeah. But, it's a substantial amount of work. I've had a number of clients read it and find it very insightful and helpful.
It's very deep in certain areas and can do some. And I would caution sometimes having can unlock some things without having the right guidance there with potentially a therapist or someone of that nature, but it's incredible work and it talks about [00:12:00] exactly how we connect the two.
Yeah. Yeah. Together. Well,
Tim: it is. I am. I'm glad you brought up the collaboration that we have. It is a mutual interest to me. My interest in doing this, offering a platform for people to ask questions. It expanded exponentially when I came across your interest, because, well, my side of the house might be on physical training and understanding proper nutrition and form and.
And that mine's limited to essentially what I see for a person from 60 to 90 minutes in a day and what exposure they may have for the exercise or what we're trying to do as far as goals physically, but the mental emotional part of it, that collaboration, as I've said before, everything above the shoulders of psychology and.
Psychiatry, the mental state, this is all biology and physiology and anatomy. I can't do, these don't work together, simpatico, unless I understand what [00:13:00] I want to do here. As an example, if somebody is pursuing physical fitness for a method of losing weight, but there's some trauma that's involved with that.
Absolutely. I can't. All the exercise in the world. I can't undo bad habits that have formed bulimia, anorexia, all of these things. These are manifested in the physical body. However, they've started up here, right? They're started and they're nestled into there. So we need to honor those things and rewrite that.
Rewrite that script, right? Yeah.
Liz: When we talk about, and we'll talk a lot more in upcoming, you know, episodes around body dysmorphia and the idea of how I
Tim: might know something about that, something about lots of bodybuilders.
Liz: You know, one of the things, you know, little sidebar here, and that is you know, we are quick to in our society make light and joke about our insecurities and our challenges.
I don't even want to call them weaknesses. I think they're just part of our humanity. And I see a [00:14:00] lot of reels about how. I started going to the gym and didn't realize I was going to gain, you know, and it's like funny, but not funny kind of thing. Even though I just chuckled at it, but I'm just saying that's an unintentional like then and what I like to.
To encourage an open thought is that there's a shift there. This does give me something if you're going to the gym and you're finding results and you're finding it does great things for your brain Because it chemically will do great things for your brain And you're finding noticeable results in your physique and in your overall health.
You're like, all right These are all these things so my gains almost become an addiction of well I can't not have those because then what else do I have sure and As therapist, I would say, well, let's pump the brakes just a second. Let's talk about great that you have this and that you feel there's a complete great physical aspect of that.
But let's talk about, you know, when that journey started, who were you then and who are you now? And are these things, you know, [00:15:00] there's lots of. A lot of times where I go, here we go. And I'm like, yeah, well, it's kind of true. Because we trade. We trade one thing for another.
Tim: All the time. We won't go too far down this rabbit hole.
But So I wasn't very big when I was a kid. All my brothers were much, much bigger than me. The difference was that I'd always been strong and when I found my way into the gym, that became my, that began my my venture into weightlifting and training. That was my solace, right? That was my place to be something different.
So as I started to set myself aside even as I approach the age of 60 there's still things that I don't do, right? You don't see me in short sleeve shirts. You don't see me in shorts. You don't. Still to this day. Still to this day. Yeah. Yeah. I will. I
Liz: know some great colleagues. I know.
Tim: Yeah. It's, it is strange, it's, those things are just, they're put into your, they're put into your head and could I undo them?
Sure. It's not like the critical, they're not crippling, but it is curious that those things still exist, you know?
Liz: It was interesting because I will say [00:16:00] that when we started training together, the, actually when you. Beginning our process when you were my trainer. . I said to you, I'm like, I'm gonna get you in a T-shirt.
Like, I was like, like, oh my goodness. You're gonna show off those elbows, .
Tim: And, And I did
Liz: a couple times. Yeah, you did. You did. I was very, I was pretty encouraged by you go. So good job there. So those elbows have been hidden since, so
Tim: get off my back psychotherapist. Okay. So. What is it in the, so let's parse that out there just a little bit more.
So the psychological and the physical, so what is it that we need to balance so that a person can find balance, right? So you're in there and you're just banging away at the weights, but you still have these really bad. Dark habits. And I always, you know, there are many things that haunt us.
Alcohol, pornography, abuse, big T, little T trauma, all of these things. So why is that so [00:17:00] important that we have balance? Why is it so important that we're not just slaying the demons in the gym, but when the lights go out, you're left with yourself. Yeah. Why is that so important?
Liz: Because you're left with yourself and all the things you look back on of what you think you should have been or what you're not you know, kind of it.
And I want to be delicate when I say falling into a pit of self pity of like, I can't believe, you know, I shouldn't think these things. And why am I the way that I am kind of mentality and the balance there is okay. So I've got some things that I've done in my past who hasn't, but I'm not trying to minimize, but how do I'm not, why am I living there?
Why do I continuously revolve in the state that I'm no longer in? Yeah. Well, I have to figure out because I will tell you the body remembers where your trauma took place. So understand that's again, back to understanding. How trauma affects your body and even when it's the slightest [00:18:00] recall of you know, a traumatic event or experience or something that really significantly bothered you.
We tend to have this brush off like, someone may say someone brushed against your arm and there was something about it that was discomforting. And you responded poorly and maybe you shifted quickly or something. You almost intact, you know, attacked yourself of, why did you do that? Like, what are you wrong with you?
Like, there's nothing. I mean, this person was walking by, what is wrong? You don't know this internal dialogue and dismantling how and why you responded. Well, there's a reason. And it's not you know, like I said, you have to, but you do have to reveal a little bit with yourself, what that is. Be, you know, there's a reason maybe I was being protective or maybe there's something else.
Maybe I'm just in denial about some other things that's going on with me. Yeah. And that's the self diving part that's
Tim: thought. Yeah. Yeah. We'll explore this in another talk, but I could go on quite a while for examples of people who, those things that seem to get twisted or [00:19:00] Amplified beyond a healthy norm via alcohol, drugs, steroids stuff like that had to do it to do with sports.
Those things were just amplified. And you kind of wonder why is that kind of like that? But it was just amplified. It's almost it just in the doctor and Jekyll. Mr. Hyde thing. Mr. Hyde comes out and we don't he can't. For some reason, you can't cap that, you can't stop him showing up. We'll talk
Liz: about that.
Yeah. Another part just when we talk about that, you know, how addressing physical and emotional aspects can simultaneously contribute to yourself healing, understanding. Is yourself is key. Something that popped into my head on a personal side of my family is there's an individual realize it, I mean, would get outright.
I rate rage fully angry when people would go to tickle them, like their response was not. I mean, it didn't matter if it was a, you know, a child or an adult, like, well, I was like, wow, that is a strong response. Like for, you know, an initial kind of [00:20:00] teasy type of interaction and come to find out that this person was horrifically harassed as a child in a set, you know, just in, in tickled to and just tortured by it really not funny.
And that it's solidified. That's exactly there's no playful touch there. There's no kind interaction. It's just torment. It's received every time as torment. And that's the misfortune for that individual because that's where they cycled in any interaction. Until that's identified and kind of went through and saying, Oh, that this isn't, I'm not being attacked or belittled or made fun of.
Yeah.
Tim: Yeah. I was tormented by my brothers we were raised in a very large cabin in Colorado, top of a mountain. And we slept downstairs and my parents slept upstairs and my I was much younger. My brothers were much older and. I would go start up the stairs and they would shut off the lights in the stairway and all I could see was the light at the top of the stairs and then pound on the stairs and freak me out.
Oh, that's horrible. Yeah, I [00:21:00] know. I know. That's not very kind. So now I can't use stairs. Anyway, moving on. Now we're being a little bit of How do you navigate How do you navigate these, this opposition people can have towards finding self help, right? How do you what's your biggest tool?
How do you hold a person's hand and go, look, this is how we're going to address this. This is how we're going to talk
Liz: about this stuff. I definitely think my personal perspective and clinical approach. Is sometimes seen a bit direct there is I'm incredibly compassionate towards the individuals that I serve.
And but at some point, I think that there is a, an awareness of, okay, so these are the areas that we've looked at. And these are the things that you're processing. So I get into the action steps of what you're doing. They're accountable for their healing. That's the, probably the biggest pushback.
It's like, well, I can come in, you know, week after week or month after month and kind of regurgitate the same information process, the [00:22:00] same thing, but now you want me to do something about it. That's when it gets a little hairy. And I think that I always share. And anyone that knows me well, I, and I've shared this with you, I shared this with everybody.
My job is to put myself out of one and do so as, as healthy and as considerately and, you know, and hopefully it's, you know, positive impact for yourself as possible. But at the end of the day, that's my goal. And That isn't always been other individuals feedback around therapy. It's like, well, you can come here as long as you want.
Well, ideally, but you should be not wanting to come here as long as you want, you should be like, this is an end to, to a means to an end. That's what I'm trying to say. I mean, and we share that. So, yeah, I, and that sometimes kind of maybe perceives me as a little bit more, like I said, structured therapist and more direct in.
Into that point of saying, okay, I've been very well known of saying, all right, so now it's time to do something. Yeah. And that's hard. And, but at some point there is at some point so much [00:23:00] processing and talking and rediscovering to now. Now we have action steps that we need to start following through.
Tim: Yeah. Well, I know that you love your job and I know that you're good at it and I know that the response Bye. Bye. I know that the responses that you get via just the emails that we get to people who seek therapy with you is that like myself, this is the attractive thing about what I see in the way you treat people.
It's kind of a no nonsense thing and okay, I will meet you where you are. We've talked about this before, but we don't want to be. We don't want to keep you there, right? I'll meet you where you are, but you need to see we can't stay here. This is the same in my realm as well. If people come to see me and the goal is to, I want to lose weight, I want to feel better, I want to be more mobile, I want to be more active as I get older.
Hey, great. Well, you can't stay where you are. For that to happen, we have to drop the old baggage. We need to try as best we can and move on. Now, that might take a little time. That might take a lot of time. Right. But the idea is There's a [00:24:00] goal over there and I'm not going to, I'm not going to keep prodding you.
You're going to have to do it yourself, right? And self accountability for this to happen. That's right. I'll give you the tools. I'm here. If you need a little handholding or you need a little homework or you need whatever, I'm here for you. You do the same thing. And that is, okay, we identified some problems here.
What are you going to do about it? My dad would always pose to me. You know, I got my head all jammed down on my shoulders and woe is me. My dad go, okay. What's your mission? You need to reflect as basic as you possibly, what did you set out to do? Let's stick, stay with that. Right. Let's stay with that.
You're not there anymore. You've advanced to here. You're not going all the way back to zero. You're going back to here. Let's go again. Right.
Liz: It is to be clear, an incredible delicate journey and balance. It's not, you know, you're just not jumping right in and saying, all right, this, the way that, that unfolds is a balance.
And there's a lot of delicacy to it at some point, [00:25:00] there is an awareness that there that should be given on how and what comes next. Because honestly,
Tim: these are the things I expect of
Liz: you. Right. Well, quite honestly, that's kind of the individuals like, well, I've said this now, you know, I'm kind of tired of saying like, I bet so, or I'm tired of feeling or thinking or whatever.
Okay. All right. Now there's the tough parts ahead. And I, that's where I share the tough parts ahead. The rewiring the, we're talking about decades of behavioral responses and cognitive ways of being engaging with one another and articulating in a relationship that isn't anything that changes overnight.
And that's when the work really comes into play.
Tim: Yeah,
that's right. Yours is far more elaborate than mine. However there's obviously that element that I bring to them too. And this is what I say, I have the, you came to me, I have the responsibility to give you truth, guidance, keep you safe, but you're my calling card.
I can't have you walking the [00:26:00] streets going that guy. That guy's a bum. He's trying to kill me. In the same token, I need you to know this is what I expect of you. Sure. You pay for my services, but you don't pay me to stand around and go 10. Good job. Right? You got 10. We move on to the next time. No, I'm going to hold you accountable for all 10.
And if 10 is not good enough, we'll do 12. I'm constantly push to constantly push you is to identify the things that you're, maybe you don't want to go there. That's why I'm there. Like I get to pull this out and you get it back when the workout's over, right? You do the same thing is that you keep relying on this.
Stop for a second. Think, right? Let's wash this off. Let's put it back in right? Let's figure this out. How this thing works. I can stand around for 20 years and count To 10 and you'll buy me a new boat and you put my kids through college, or I can give you the education. I can give you the tools.
Go out and live your life. And then when you need me, I'm here for you. Absolutely. Yeah, that's how it should be. That's that's the neat thing. It [00:27:00] overlaps with what we do. I very much enjoyed. Are there specific strategies that you use to help your clients overcome those?
Liz: Oh, there's so many strategies there's just a variety.
It's, it is definitely a case by case scenario of what that's going to look like. I mean, as far as, and I guess I kind of honestly, cause we were talking so much where were we at exactly on, on is that the overcoming resistance part? Is that where you're at? Yeah. The strategy is that by the process of treatment, they're creating their own strategies and they're going to have ways to look at things differently.
They're going to be able to access their body in a way that they haven't when be present in their body. They're you're creating a healthier self in all of this, right? And it's a discovery process. It's a delicate balance. It's a journey. It's all the things. It's wonderful. In process, if you can get to the end, well, the evolving piece, I shouldn't say there's an end.
I want to [00:28:00] be clear.
Tim: It is, but no, there's no buts. The similarities between what you do and I do are fascinating. People really are not aware of what they can do until they try. And sometimes they don't try so to encourage somebody is to take people to sometimes to write to where they just are so uncomfortable doing that.
But I'll keep you safe. You'll keep them safe. We'll go through this together, but we're going to explore some things. We're going to explore new movements, new exercises, which are mental and physical. But we're going to all I'm there. I'm your safety net. If at any time we just back off, but there's a huge reward in overcoming something I've never done before.
Right? And that's, we know you know, through your studies, we also know, because we listen to Peterson talk about this all the time, but it's not that I can cure you of your insecurities. It's that I can make you stronger at facing those insecurities. Jordan noise. To be
Liz: honest, I can't, you can make yourself stronger.
That's right. You're the one that has all the power here. You just have to [00:29:00] discover where it's at.
Tim: The fear. He uses an example of somebody who's afraid of an elevator, right? They view an elevator as a vertical coffin and I walk in there, I'm dead. I'm just going to die. I'm going to die a horrible. Well, we go, okay, well, let's start wherever we need to start where you can get some control over this.
Can you look at a picture of an elevator? Okay. So you can look at a picture. Can you watch a movie about an elevator? Sure. I would probably steer you away from these disaster movies where people are dying elevators. In all realities, could you go to a mall and watch people go up and down in an elevator?
Can you stand within 10 feet? Can you stand within five feet? I slowly progressed. You. And when you're, when the day comes that you can get in an elevator and ride it up clutching the hand of somebody next to you, but you did it and you didn't overcome fear. You're fearful, I'm rationalizing. I did it.
I did it. And if I had to, I could do it again. Now, there'll be times you'll be really strong in it. And sometimes [00:30:00] something might trigger you. Now, this is only an example, but when we have these triggers that kind of send us back into thing, right? That's when we find our therapist. That's when we find our trainer.
That's when we, that's when we find the, these people who do have the knowledge and the passion and the willingness and the skill to guide us back on track, right? I couldn't agree more. Yeah. What else do you know about the What else do I know? Trauma big T, little T trauma. If a person has a history of trauma, How do you, what are some really good in trauma informed approaches to contribute towards the self healing?
Well, I
Liz: think that one of the things I want to talk about really quickly, and I made notation about this. I was kind of, I kind of made quite a bit as I started to look down. That's a
Tim: lot of typing over there. Yeah.
Liz: I mostly circle. But I think understanding the trauma informed approach being at what it means to be a trauma informed therapist, that's very Well, you know, conversed about nowadays and everyone's talking about that, and it's just a broad spectrum of understanding trauma [00:31:00] and how it impacts an individual's life and in a wide variety of ways.
Now, what I have is just, understanding that how you're aware of how a little bit what you were just talking about providing a safe environment for an individual to come in and be able to release what's kind of going on in their mind and. Maybe, you know, what they're feeling in their body in a safe environment that they feel that they can, you know, expose that type of thought process to your gathering information.
You're aware of how you're trained, how to gather information from an individual. On body language and you know, a lot of motivational interviewing techniques and styles around understanding what triggers a client. So you're not trying to retraumatize someone when it comes in there and you're kind of poking holes at like trying to figure out what's going on.
This clinician should be able to understand how I, you know, receive this information in from an individual as delicately and as possible [00:32:00] without, you know, trauma for the secondary traumatizing. This goes into giving trust and empowerment to the client because you want them to be able to understand that my goal in all of this is to help you see your, you your potential, your person, that whatever you in there like, well, I don't really like me.
So I don't really want to see that in my cab. Well, there's going to be a healed part of you. That's going to be incredibly exceptional future you. And that's your favorite word to say is future. Yeah. Being able to give a great understanding of impact of the brain and the body and how those two correlate and they should be responding to one another.
And they generally are, but sometimes poorly and how to share that with your client and educate them in whatever you know, experience that they may have had. And, you know, provide that understanding so they can then make that applicable. So
Tim: just out of curiosity, and I think I know the answer to this, but I think you would agree.
All elements are important. For instance, [00:33:00] when did it happen? Where did it happen? How does it happen? When does it
Liz: reoccur? It's a very long process. That's why, you know, recently there is a lot of discussion around having coverage and things of that nature for individuals saying well, I need to let my insurance carrier know how many sessions that I'm going to need.
It's very much. Tax frustrating because that's not how this works from having someone come across you and you, it's almost like you never know what you're going to get a little box of chocolates kind of idea because though we have a treatment plan that we have designed together and we have a course in a direction that we're going to.
Pursue down life doesn't always work like that. And sometimes this came out of left field that I don't even know how this or why this is bothering me so that we have to divert and then we have to kind of reassess
Tim: you can correct me though, but you're required to diagnose. Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
Diagnosis. Yeah, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? In your first session, you have to render some type of [00:34:00] diagnosis. That's ridiculous. That's the
Liz: process, isn't it? The process. That is the process. But you know,
Tim: unfortunately we know that with good therapists, they can hone in on that,
Liz: right?
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And a diagnosis I think is so, I would say misrepresented or misunderstood. And now this is an unfortunate that I think in our society that it's almost a popularity contest of who has what. And that's not at all. That much like I had shared earlier than when we talk about the goal is not getting rid of anxiety.
The goal is managing anxiety. Well, the goal is managing yourself in whatever impairment you're suffering. Whether it be, you know, rapid thinking and spiraling thoughts and, okay, so I've gotta learn how, okay. I tend to do this, these, okay. Once you get to know you more Yeah. And you give yourself a little bit of compassion, maybe some grace around why I am the way that I am.
maybe discover why that is. And then, all right, so what do I need to do to really address this versus just [00:35:00] constantly cycling. So
Tim: I'm gonna tell, I'm gonna tell on myself just a little bit, so I don't do, I don't do well in crowds. I don't like, I don't like crowds, so concerts and I do okay with movies if I'm with other people.
But it is very much just a managing thing. And I catch a little flack from people who don't understand that I don't do well. This has to do with the neurosis. When we took our, when we took our personality test, this is one of those things I thought I neurotic, I would have Scaled up on their neuroticism, but it is very much a manageable thing,
Liz: right?
It's an awareness. I, it's just so much. If I could just share how much, if we could be more aware of ourselves, but we are so aware of everybody else, Mr. Krauts and understanding. What am I aware of within me? Well, that's very, well, then it's like, well, what if I am aware of all these things and I can't control them?
And then I'm like, Oh my goodness. It's
Tim: like, perfect example is the gym, right? So [00:36:00] we talk about this all the time about people who come to me and they'll go, you know, I wouldn't be here except if it was for you. I get that. I get that. But they're so uncomfortable with being in the gym that if I wasn't there, they wouldn't come.
Well, that's unfortunate. But I realized now. That example is the same as mine, right? What we have to help people understand is they're not thinking about you. They don't care. You're invisible to them. They're doing their own thing. Maybe they're even lost in their own image in the mirror. That's very possible.
But the whole fact is they're not thinking about you. So you stop thinking about them. Just do your thing, right? Just do your thing. Right.
Liz: And it. It sounds a lot easier than it really sounds a lot easier. One thing that I wanted to talk about when we were talking about modalities something that I'm trained in tree is, and I've talked about it before, EMDR, which is eye movement, desensitization and reprocessing, it's kind of a mouthful.
But it's the way I kind of was thinking about how to best represent this as like a somatic experience. [00:37:00] And it's body oriented approaches and that this is something that helps with the trauma and that go with cognitive and somatic levels of what's going on for you. So it's treating both things,
Tim: Okay, so break it down layman language for the somatic
Liz: as in what's going on your body.
Yeah. Okay. So I, the best way to, I always say kind of thinking about. You're presently aware of what's going on in your body. And to really go into that further, I mean, I would really have to, and I can with EMDR, it's an incredible treatment for individuals, especially if there's a lot of research, the biggest that has been well known for is PTSD for veterans and law enforcement individuals of that nature.
Post traumatic stress disorder. That, thank you.
Tim: That's fine. Well, there's lots of acronyms in the medical terminology.
Liz: Yeah. Well, yeah. And Yeah. And I think PTSD is in everyone. Yeah. And again, I don't want to venture off. Everyone, there's different ways people are when you're diagnosed with PTSD.
There's a different understanding of that. But but with EMDR, [00:38:00] it's, I, You know, the best for me when I see it as you're keeping someone is an entire protocol of having someone so body aware of what's going on with them, but they're like on a train, if you will, and they step off the train and they look at maybe a circumstance or something that's taken place in their life and kind of processing what went on then and there and kind of like A foot in the present and the past, so staying intact with your body the whole time.
And there's a numerous amount of things that this protocol calls for. So there's your re teach about containment and how to be safe for yourself allies. There's I just feel like I'm doing a quick synopsis of it, that it's much deeper than that. But it's an incredible treatment for individuals to use a well for psychotherapists trained in it efficiently.
To use for clients to treat areas of PTSD and other areas of trauma.
Tim: Tell me about [00:39:00] cognitive brain, cognitive
Liz: Behavioral therapy CBT. Well, that's a very it's a very popular one. A lot of agencies and companies go and have individuals that are kind of maybe struggling with different levels of performance around going and say, you know, maybe you could, you know, use some cognitive behavioral therapy.
It's very common therapeutic approach on restructuring how we process things and how we continue to spiral in a way of thinking about something obsessively and catastrophizing it to a point where we just kind of get into a state of despair. We can't get out of it. Well, and being able to.
Almost attack restructure the thought and address it in a way of there's a lot of a common one is, will this bother you two weeks from now? Will this bother you a year from now, five years from now, things of that nature. And again, I'm making a quick you know, description of it. It is, it can be very successful.
One of the things that I've noticed, or I've. I'm kind of jumping ahead, but is internal families system [00:40:00] that is when that you mean notations on that one as well, but is another theory that our modality, I should say that I use and being able well, let me kind of, I'm hopping now, sorry to wrap up CBT.
That is really beneficial. I have seen that it goes. Further than just thinking about a thought that we have, sometimes our trauma is deeper within us and having us take that deep dive in within ourselves. Well, internal family systems. It's it's composed of that. We are, which is my favorite part is that we are various parts of ourselves and each have its own perspective and function.
And these parts can be protective, wounded or carry specific roles based on past experiences. So these roles kind of represent themselves, certain parts of our lives. And not to be confused as if someone were to say you have a personality disorder. No, we, I [00:41:00] would always say that maybe it's a trait versus if you want to call it versus a part, you could call it a trait.
I let's see, let's pick on Liz for a minute. I don't like public speaking at all. So I'll pass. Thank God for the camera. I guess I've got, that's taken me. How long is just so that's still a thorn in my side, still a thorn in my side. And I will do everything possible not to put myself in a circumstance.
So even in a group, when I'm called upon to respond, I get very uncomfortable with that. And I try and get out of that as quickly as possible. And so, but then at sometimes I can just pull out a part of me where it's like, It's you just got to do what you got to power through. And inside there's other parts of me that I'm just, there's like this internal, like, this is second life, right?
Out of me, please make this stop. So, so I am
Tim: working on this. So if I'm, if I can get this right, in your [00:42:00] office, you have these things on the bottom shelf of these little characters. It's from a movie, right? Yes. Yeah. And I, I didn't see the movie, so I don't know what it is, but you have one that's like your temper and you have one that's
Liz: scared and inside out.
And most therapists know exactly what that is. Inside out is the movie. Yeah. And then the idea real quick, this, that the overall piece of this movie is this little girl. As she's developing she's developing all these emotions. Yeah. And then she has anger and she has disgust, she has joy sadness, and.
Fear.
Tim: Yeah. So that's what those characters represent. And those things sometimes manifest themselves. They literally shove somebody out of the way and another takes their place,
Liz: right? And that's a perfect you know, example of like maybe a little bit like what kind of comes into play and what role we kind of get stuck in at some times of our lives.
We, we play a role for. Yeah. But having when we talk about an integrated self, when we're all whole, we put all these parts together and there's a lot of awareness to that site, that's a really [00:43:00] healed individual that's done a lot of significant work. Yeah. But anyhow, sorry. I
Tim: think public speaking is by no means I think it's one of the top rated.
Top ranked thing for fear of people
Liz: have, well, you know, I will tell you how I discovered my dislike of speaking in public or anywhere that anyone wants to put attention on me. And that is through my EMDR training, when I was going through EMDR, they said, you know, try and think of it as something that you'd want to work on.
I'm like, I really should work on this public speaking. Yeah. And through my experience and going through that, I discovered and I shared. I don't know what episode I shared this in, but in fourth grade, Mrs. Doll's class, where she made me stand up for my social studies class. And she had me read something and everyone's eyes were on me.
And I just felt like everyone was laughing. And Mrs. Doll was like, sorry, Mrs. Doll, I don't even know if she's around or where she's at. But anyways she was just like, just get, like, she was like, get through it, just finish it. And like rushing me. And I was stuttering and I could to this day, because it's the body gives [00:44:00] the score.
I felt the warmth in my neck. I felt my voice start to shake and I was like, Oh my goodness, this is terrible. It's gotten much better as I have worked on it. I mean, I think it's important that we know how these things lodge in us and it's not so quickly to dislodge. It's like.
Tim: That's funny. Because I was crippling shy when I was a kid and I've talked to me, I've talked through most of this trying to reason through most of this stuff.
But 1 of the best advice I could give people total side note about speaking in public is I no longer try to speak to the public. I'm speaking to one person. That's all it's free. They just, yeah, they're just sitting out there. I'm just speaking to one person. And then pretty soon your knowledge carries you through the conversation.
Right. you just have to butter the toast a little bit, right. Whatever makes. Whatever makes the crowd flow, it kind of feeds back to you. But I've fallen flat on my face. And actually what I, well, the only thing I can tell that brought me any healing to the falling on my [00:45:00] face was the humor that I found later on.
A presentation given at a podium in a brand new suit. You know how I knew it was a new suit? Because the sticker to my suit was right there on my sleeve. Everybody got to see it. Oh, good. Anyway, those are funny things in life, right?
Liz: It is, but I will tell you. So what reinforces that fear, right? So that experience of me in fourth grade.
So let's just pull Liz apart here a little bit. Any experience from that moment on that had any attention on me just recreated that, that fear based that, you know, insecurity, all of the things. So I was in, you know, in my church choir and I was like I had someone's like, Hey, you know, do you want to do a solo?
Dear heavens? No, I would ever, never, ever. No, absolutely not. And my choir Our choir pastor was like, no, I think it'd be really great. I'm like, I think it'd be really terrible. not a good idea. So every time there was like this idea of even perceived for spotlight, I was [00:46:00] just solidifying how much I did not want to be seen.
And that kind of played a role all the way through. Then the entirety of my youth into young adulthood. And so, I mean, I detested group projects at school. Just because I'm like, do we have to do a group presentation? Yeah. I'm like, I will do anything to get out of this. Yeah. Here's 10 bucks.
Right. And it still didn't work. I still had to get through it. And I had to wait till, you know, much earlier, later on the left to discover maybe. And it's gotten better, so yeah, it's not like, so
Tim: how long does something like this take? And how, can I measure the progress a person makes?
Liz: It is such
Tim: self healing.
How did, how long can this take?
Liz: It's this open. It's going to take as long as the person, you know, is resistant. They're resistant to, because change is hard. What if. And this is the other side of change is I will be different. I will think different. I will talk different. I will care about myself differently.
I will carry myself [00:47:00] differently. And what if everybody that's around me? That's my support system doesn't like that. Yeah. That's scary. I mean, what if it changes how I talk at work? What if it changes how I talk in my relationship? What if my expectations of me change? Well, then there's a domino effect of the expectations around me.
So there's like all of this risk and I call it a cost benefit analysis with individuals of like, when I go to look at what is this, what's the cost benefit analysis of this? But on the other side of that, how will I feel about myself? And how, what will I know about myself? It's not just about what you feel.
So what will I know? It's like, okay, yeah, this was necessary to get here. But it just, so that there, the timeline on that is,
Tim: is, and this is, this would be your message to a client or patient to look, this is what you could, this is what you should expect, but in your. Life. I can't tell you how this will turn out, but I can just say you are going to find a new you that you're very much going to find peace with.
Liz: You're going to [00:48:00] find an internal family systems 101. You're going to find parts of yourself that you lost so long ago that you get to give compassion to and you get to love on and you get to say, or you get to put compassion Pull out those parts and say, you know, you did me a disservice, so I've gotta kind of reevaluate how you, I utilize you in my life.
Yep. All of these things are great things. Yeah. Initially it doesn't feel like that . Yeah. No. Or it doesn't, you know, it's not a
Tim: great experience. Like everything there, there's a learning period. There's a birthing period there, man. There's highs and lows. There's no straight line.
Well, and I, in
Liz: any of this. The idea around therapy is that you go in, you talk about problems. This person tells you what to do with your problems. We are not advice givers. That is the misrepresentative. Sorry. I get very piratey about that because we are not advice givers. We are processors of what's going on with someone.
And yes, we have a level of education that we're going to encourage you to open, you know, that your mind's eye to how this happens [00:49:00] and what we know about behaviors and generational Upbringing and trauma and childhood trauma of just occurrences that have happened in your life for you to be able to dismantle them and look at them differently.
It's not a checks and balances as far as when it comes in. So I'm going to do this and will this be right? And should I do this and should this be right? And it's. It's not like that.
Tim: Good point. On my side of the house, it is I do not have any trainer that could say, well, in six weeks we'll have you this.
No, that's not true. I can tell you in three to six weeks, you'll find a certain place in your life. And in a month you'll be able to look, you know, in, excuse me, six to nine weeks, you'll be able to look in your mirror and see that something's happening. And in 12 weeks, you're going to. Begin to feel like a new person and then a month from then you'll be this and this, I can tell you that, but I can't tell you.
I can't tell you what results you're going to get because I don't, it's going to take a effort on your half and I don't know what sacrifice. I don't know what you're willing to do. I don't know how hard you're going to charge up this hill. I have [00:50:00] no idea. So we have to do this together. But the idea is not to run somebody in my side.
I don't need to run you into the crowd. I don't need to break you. I don't need to sour you to the experience. And that's certainly something certainly we talk about. That's a commonality in the field. We have that. If we're trying to provide a service to help others, we have to be careful that we carry a lot of power.
It's a great deal of responsibility to be a really good trainer. And man, this is a message I wish I could drive home. I know you feel it because you love, and you're very good at your job to have a certificate. Hang on your wall and be really bad at your job is a disservice to your public.
You need to be, you need to have spent time in the trenches. You need to see it all and you need to, man, you need to fall on your face a few
Liz: times and be completely normal. I tell you this, therapists need therapists. So there's no one that doesn't need therapy. Everybody needs therapy. So that's.
Tim: And you should, you know, just like. Anything [00:51:00] therapists like prayer, you need to pray when you're up. You need to pray when you're down. You need to see a therapist when you're good. And you need, you know,
Liz: Check in booster sessions. Yeah. Check in, get
Tim: yourself figured out. Something, the thought beyond therapy, how do you encourage clients to continue there?
Sofa healing journey. How do they keep going after they, maybe they discontinue with your, maybe they're separating from you.
Liz: How do they keep going? So I'm going to say something that is kind of, I have taken it very lightheartedly because I know the work that this calls for an individual and the consideration and compassion that I do my best to provide an individual.
And that is, I've had people say to me, Liz. I was doing so much better before I started seeing you and literally, and I'm like, I get it. I understand. And it's part of the, it's part of the process. And there's like, well, that's okay. You can take your process and put it where it's
Tim: but I, I would venture to say that those people hadn't been with you very long.
Liz: No, actually, you know, it's [00:52:00] a couple, it's good. It's just dependent upon the journey of, okay. So I always think about a little bit where people are resistant to therapy is like opening that can of worms, like, you know, or Pandora's box and you can't put everything back in and just saying, well, I don't want to kind of start diving into something here that I'm not ready to really filter through and kind of figure out what's going on.
This is the client. Potentially. Yeah. Potentially individuals coming into therapy or families coming into therapy. Cause I don't know if I'm going. What I'm going to come up against because I, I like control. I like to know what's going to happen. Well, again, that's not how this works. But when to encourage someone to maintain their journey of healing is to know that you know, it sounds a little cliche, but they're not alone.
And look at the success of where you're at. I always do. I try my best. I shouldn't say always, but I try my best to share with individuals. How honored I am when I see all of the amazing things that they're doing and help them identify You know a little bit this kind [00:53:00] of goes on both sides of the house here And that is I'm you always say that you know, you couldn't do this push up, you know, you know two months ago or whatever You when this encounter would happen.
How would you used to respond to that? That was really detrimental to you. Yeah Oh my goodness. I don't, I never thought about that. I don't do that anymore. I'm like, yeah, like that's, and then it's like all this epiphany and I, you know, like I can really do this and I'm like, yeah, you can really do this.
And there's, that's what that
Tim: change can sneak in. I mean, you're not, it's not like it's, oh my gosh, you wake up at night. I'm changed. It sneaks in and then all of a sudden you shock yourself. Oh my gosh, I don't do that
Liz: anymore. And if you have a mentality, which we do society wise, in my opinion, where we're always downing ourselves and having someone for a second.
Can you consider what you used to do versus what you're doing now? And then it's like, Oh, I guess you're right. Well, that does kind of help me see. And then I'm like, tell me more. Then I make them look at, tell me more. What have you noticed? What have you noticed? What have you noticed? Cause it's that, okay, I'm uncovering self peace.
Yeah. [00:54:00] Yeah.
Tim: In training athletes, it's usually always younger athletes, but in training athletes, there's times you have to reign them in. Right. And you have these people who just want to take the, you know, they may, they want to. They want to be able to broad jump 30 feet in their first cup. No. And when we begin this, we need you to be, it needs to be incremental first, come to the door every day.
We build from there. After that, you do, you develop habits and then we concentrate on form. And then we talk about sets and reps and we move all those things. You're literally in every. In every exposure to our time together, you're laying a brick in the road, but occasionally stop, turn around and look how far you've come, right?
Look how far you've come. If you're just constantly going to look behind. Yeah. If you're just constantly going to be looking to the top of the mountain and I'll never do that. Can you see the next step? Take that one. Just take that one and then we'll talk about the next one tomorrow. Right? But you realize you're halfway up the mountain, all of the [00:55:00] sniveling and complaining and all that.
Would you look how far you've come? And when they finally do that, hopefully there's nothing worse than to have a just a sourpuss as a client, you know, just, Oh, well, here's me or kind of thing. No, you need to,
Liz: well, initially someone may come in and not have any perspective, but doubt self doubt and not having the ability to see, you know, the next step of I have.
The other part of that is when individuals want to come in and say so that's very, you know, driven on here are some things that I've been looking at. I'd like to address these things. How long do you think I need to see? I share with everyone that, you know, initially this is how I.
Start treatment. Yep. And we have to kind of see where we go and what we find. And then we'll go from there. And then it's like, okay. But I think it's the idea of like a nip tuck, like perfect little package and then resolve. Like
Tim: it's simple. Can I take a pill and an app and phone call you once a week?
Liz: This is something you say, but this is something I say. You didn't kind of [00:56:00] think this way overnight. You didn't become or Act this way overnight. And now it's like, I want to address these things. It doesn't change.
Tim: That's right. It won't. You can't undo that. Something in your personal growth. Can you share any cases?
Does anything come to mind in the cases that have you've seen just this transformation
Liz: now? Well, I wouldn't identify first
Tim: pull back. I'm going to pull that curtain when we first started training, right? This isn't on the psychotherapy side, but this is on the this is kind of on your. Your mental side towards training.
You've done this a thousand times. It's never worked out. I've never this. I've never, you were very negative about it. You're very
Liz: negative. I was just informing you how I was not going to be successful.
Tim: Oh yeah. I know you were laying down and I wasn't successful, but I said to you,
Liz: okay, I mean, why would you not be?
Right. Right. Yes. I mean, I'm trying to remember exactly. It just seemed like you, you didn't care that I knew that I was going to fail. Like that was my, I was just like, [00:57:00] listen, I don't want you to have like big hopes and dreams for me here. I'm not going to be an athletic. I don't have an athletic build.
I'm not an, I've never been in any athletics in my entire life. Don't expect me to be lifting anything ridiculous. I'm just like, I was like letting you know the package that, that.
Tim: But as progress was made and habits were formed and things changed, and then when they changed. You know, holy smokes, but it's not until you're a little ways down the trail that you go, look how far I came, look how far I came.
And now it's changed for you drastically. And I, I want to tell people a story of I midwife my children. I get, I delivered both my kids with midwives. Now anyway I can remember hearing people talk to midwives and going, we're not going to do this. We're not going to do this.
And midwife go. Because they know when the time comes, you're going to do exactly what I told you to do, because that's how it's done. That's how babies have been born forever and ever. You can say all these things, but I don't care what you say. It's going to [00:58:00] happen. Now, it's inevitable too, because you are having a baby.
Right. You're forced into it. Fight it, bump your heads into it all you want. It's still going to be now. Let's you and I get on this, let's row in the same direction and you're going to see that it's, you'll make more and more progress and it's more enjoyable. Well,
Liz: I'm utilizing me as, as a keen example of coming into a situation.
I mean, I was just letting you know. Like this isn't going to be like, you know, your gold star winner, which, because that's the way I perceive the situation. That's what I felt about myself. And as month one went by, I'm like, same told you one pound, not worth it, but that's okay. I paid for it. So I'll still keep coming.
Tim: Yeah. You were setting the bar very low. And okay. But to me, I've been doing it. I've been doing it long enough to go. Liz just keep doing this and you kept doing it.
Liz: And then now my driven personality trait. , some might I call stubborn, but [00:59:00] driven personality trait. . Yeah.
Tim: Driven. Go with that one. Go ahead.
Liz: Is that I didn't, I have it. I went to push and see and push and see, and when I felt like kickback from you or pushing me back of like, well, you could do this. I'm like, yeah, I can do this. Because that's my purse. That's a part of me. It's one of my parts. And then I'm like, all right.
So, and it's like, you can do this. Yes, I can do this. And I will. Well, what unintentionally happened is I fell in love with what I was doing. When I started feeling good about me, I fell in love with me and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is so great. I told you I love the strength feeling. Yeah. Like when I felt strong I talked to some other females about this, like, there's nothing, it's different for a woman to, and you would have to be a woman to understand that.
Yeah. The feeling of strength that you have never felt before. Then it was like, oh, well this is great. Yeah. Like, I'm gonna keep doing this. And by then, yeah. I was, and
Tim: I could use. A hundred different people that I've seen all go through this, but I can remember the first time we [01:00:00] ever, the first time I ever had you jump up in a big weight and like, I can't do that.
Yeah, you can, and you did, you're like, oh man, no, go to the next one and you go to the next one. Wow. Yeah, you did it. Now that happens with everyone. I have a real close friend. His name's. Shane and he lost 57 pounds in 15 weeks, much to his credit. He did that for his wedding. He drove himself literally to crying.
I'm not telling stories. He drove himself so hard that he would break down crying. And I thought to myself, I have more respect for a person. He drove himself so hard. It was like this emotional thing. And I would have to go, are you all right? Shane? He goes, yep. Let's keep going and it keep going.
I'm like, man, that's awesome. That's awesome. He's, I've told him before. I have trained person. I've trained professional athletes. I've never seen anybody push himself that hard. He was that focused on, on doing that, man, just respect. I can't give you more respect than that. But the [01:01:00] whole idea is. He did that for him and to see all these changes.
And when he melted, you know, he lost 57 pounds in 15 weeks. That's for a man. That was amazing. And he went to his wedding and he had a great time and right. Yeah. Good for him. Everybody can do that. No, I'm not. This topic isn't about that. It's about when you find a person who can. Recognize what does it take with this person?
And do I need to be, do I need to be more passive? Do I need to let this person experience these things or do you give them or do I challenge him and go? I'm not hearing that. Keep going. If they'll keep going. That's the point. That's the hard nose mentality. You break a person through the thing and they look back and they go, wow, I didn't think I could do that.
Yeah. I can see it in you, right? Your therapist can see it in you. Yeah, that's what we're after.
Liz: So, a couple more questions. We should wrap this up because we don't want people to be too bored by now. So, what do you think? All right, there's some [01:02:00] closing ideas.
Tim: What are your insights? What do you, what are, you know, we believe that people are incredible.
Oh,
Liz: my insight is that the ability that the human race has is far beyond the one we were actually seeing today. I know, you know, not do a historical, but historically the ability to persevere and to be more for self is incredible. You. Absolutely have it. It's been the joy of my career. Should they do it for?
Well, absolutely for themselves. I tell everyone, anyone that comes in and says, Hey, so and so thinks I should be here. My spouse, mother, father, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, cousin. Don't do it. Don't do it. What do you think? Yeah. Well, it's like, no, I'm going to do this for them. And then it's being able to say, no, like you are so incredible.
You need to do this for you. And that could be a discovery process. Don't get me wrong. But you need to do this for yourself. And the insight is that you are more capable than you'll [01:03:00] ever understand when you start accessing yourself and your abilities and just knowing who you are. Yeah. And
Tim: it's really great.
Well, I know that you, I know that you love your career and I know that you love your profession. I think you would agree with me. We don't, we're not doing this for the money. Obviously, look at our bank accounts. But the whole point is, the whole point is money. the funny thing about my, and I, Just Nancy, who is an 83 year old female that I trained.
She's a wonderful woman. She goes, don't you get tired of being enthusiastic all the time? She said that today. And I go, you know, in almost 40 years of training, I've never been. I've never had a lack of enthusiasm to help people train because when people really want to train, it's enthusiastic to me.
I mean, I feed off that but to see them do more and more. And then I get to see them progress. They don't, they get to see themselves all the time, but I get to see them incrementally. And when I get to see them and they change, I'm like, and then I point out, Hey, you know, [01:04:00] you couldn't do that before.
And they're like, Oh my gosh, you're right. So that's the incremental part of change too, that they're not aware of. I'm. Yeah. I've tricked you into thinking this is all just sets and reps. And no, it's not. You're growing in your mental fortitude and your determination. And even in the future, you, because that's what I try to tell people is stop thinking about you.
What do you want to be? What do you want to be? You know, my sons have heard the lesson in their entire lives. If you want to be an astronaut. If you want to be a firefighter, if you want to be a brain surgeon, if you want to be a pro golfer, great. Be all of those things. Have a resume that looks like a roll of toilet paper, just rolls out the door.
Do everything, but be good at it. Right. That's, and then you'll find a way to do it just like you right? You're good at it, you enjoy it.
Liz: And, well, you've given me a lot of kudos. I humbly Well, you are good at it. I appreciate that. But I just, I do have I feel compassionately led to do what I do, [01:05:00] and I, yeah.
I hope that
Tim: it's effecti. Yeah. What are your closing thoughts on this?
Liz: So the idea when we started was like the wrestling with yourself and your soul and maybe your person that if you ever wanted to start this endeavor, do so with a professional would be my first encouragement. Yeah. And take the strength and the compassion and try it.
. And be compassionate. To yourself, it's all the things you think that you are and that you probably aren't, you know, everyone's had and made really significant, terrible choices in their life. Yeah. It was a point of your life. It's not where you're at now. And even if it is, it doesn't have to be where you stay.
That's right.
Tim: Yeah, that's right. So it's a lot
Liz: of courage, but you can. And
Tim: It will happen if you let it happen, it won't happen. Yeah. Won't happen overnight. Well, it may not happen in a week or a month, but if you keep at it, right. If you keep at it and everybody that comes into my training facility, they're only on [01:06:00] 90 day contracts.
If you feel like you want to stay with me for another 90 days, we just do it again. We signed a contract, but the emphasis is that we're here to help you go live life, come back and see me. Right. Like body mechanics, we want to make sure that you're up and running and heart, body and soul. Right.
Ideally. Good job. This is a good talk.
Liz: Well, thanks. I appreciate it. Yeah. You're putting me on the spot. Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Well, thanks everyone. Please go and like and share and do all the things. And thanks for listening.
Tim: Yep. All right guys. Take care of yourself. Bye. Bye.