Windfal

"I am unwilling to help you, especially after the last episode; I mean, for heaven’s sake, lend me your ears is just an expression!"

Caesar is approached by yet another delegation, this time by the misunderstood and stigmatised group of Lepers trying to survive harsh time. Hopefully Caesar can be completely professional and understanding and not make an crass jokes. 

*It is noted that Leprosy in this modern time is stigmatised, underfunded and often misrepresented. There are multiple resources online to educate one on the matter, and opportunities in which to support communities that still suffer from the illness around the world.

Credits:
Nate Gothard as Caesar and Windfal                 
Hester van der Vyver as Sensus                 
Thomas Taufan as Voice and Guard                 
Linda Chong as Intercom                 
Gavin Jones as Brute

Written by Mike Jones and Iley Jones
Produced by Bass Mike Studios and Iris Lantern

What is On the Roman Nose?

Turning back the pages of history, In the yesteryears of time, there once was an empire that was mightier than any before and held land greater than any since. A culture rich in architecture, education and art, but there is so little remaining of the Great Khan's dynasty that we can't make fun of it. So to Ancient Rome instead!

Here we join Lord Caesar and his loyal assistant, confidant and friend, Senator Sensus in the famed marble palace, facing diplomatic issues, comedic characters and the burden of leadership.

From the mixed bag of stories in Getting You Home On Friday, On the Roman Nose is slapstick happy, witty, and full of humour in a collection of short and sweet episodes.

(On the Roman Nose, Episode Ten, Windfal)

THEME SONG: ROMAN MILITARY STYLE DRUMS WITH A FLOURISH OF HORNS.

VOICE: And now, to Rome!

CROWD CHEERING.

SENSUS: Ah, what a lovely meal Caesar.

CAESAR: Indeed. Have you had enough, Sensus?

SENSUS: Thank you, my Lord.

CAESAR: And you Brute?

BRUTE: Sorry my Lord?

CAESAR: Have you et too Brute?

BRUTE: Yes, my Lord. Thank you. I love the sticky bits.

CAESAR: Indeed, they were some of the finest sticky bits I have ever had.

SENSUS: I very much enjoyed your dressing, Caesar.

CAESAR: You said "you wouldn't look"!

SENSUS: Your salad dressing.

CAESAR: Oh, yes. My chef made that up with the salad, named it in my honour.

SENSUS: Caesar Salad?

CAESAR: No, Fat Tyrant Dressing.

SENSUS: Very nice. It should catch on.

CAESAR: If it catches on like it does my robe...

SENSUS: Yes, I can see. You should wear plaid, it doesn't show the stains.

CAESAR: I'll bear that in mind, Sensus. Now to business. What is on the agenda today?

SENSUS: A delegation.

CAESAR: Oh nuts....

SENSUS: Nuts?

CAESAR: Yes, in the salad, I wonder if Chef can put in some walnuts.

SENSUS: Sounds good.

CAESAR: Anyway, my apologies, we have a delegation?

SENSUS: The Lepers of the Island of Brawn.

CAESAR: Good gods, here?

SENSUS: Yes, my Lord.

CAESAR: After lunch?

SENSUS: Look on the bright side. If you are driven to illness, it would make more room for the sticky
bits.

CAESAR: Now there's a thought. More sticky bits. Very well, send them in.

SENSUS: (CALLING OUT) Call the Lepers of Brawn!

GUARD: (DISTANT) Call the Lepers of Brawn!

INTERCOM: (OVER PA) Leprechauns to Caesar's rooms, Leprechauns to Caesar's rooms. Top of the
morning.

CAESAR: Didn't you fix that?

SENSUS: Heaven knows I've tried....

DOORS OPENING, HAND BELLS BEING RUNG. WHIPS CRACKING.

WINDFAL: Unclean, unclean ..... so incredibly unclean....

SENSUS: Stop there, that is far enough.

WINDFAL: Unclean. My Lord Caesar, ave!

CAESAR: Ave.

WINDFAL: Unclean!

CAESAR: Yes we understand, being lepers.

WINDFAL: No my lord, we ran out of soap.

FLY BUZZING, CHOKING AND THEN FALLING TO THE GROUND,
SPINNING AND THEN DYING.

CAESAR: What is your name, Leper?

WINDFAL: Windfal, my Lord.

CAESAR: Well, Windfal, what an unusual name.

WINDFAL: Yes my Lord, with my affliction, every time the wind blows.....

CAESAR: Yes, yes, I get the picture.

SENSUS: I'm not sure I'll ever forget it!

CAESAR: What do you seek?

WINDFAL: We crave funding for several projects. Without these projects our brotherhood may well
disappear.

CAESAR: How so?

WINDFAL: Well, my Lord we have noticed a distinct dropping off of members.

(PAUSE)

CAESAR: I am unwilling to help you, especially after the last episode; I mean, for heaven’s sake, lend
me your ears is just an expression!

WINDFAL: My sincere apologies. Perhaps we could offer something in return.....

CAESAR: Such as?

WINDFAL: My daughter's hand in marriage?

CAESAR: No, but thank you for the thought. I am sorry but I can't help you unless you can come up
with a much better proposition.

WINDFAL: Very well, my Lord. But let this be a reminder of our discontent.

OBJECT FLUNG INTO WALL.

CAESAR: Get out .....and take that finger with you...

HAND BELLS BEING RUNG. WHIPS CRACKING.

WINDFAL: Unclean, unclean, flat broke (FADING) unshaved, oppressed, misunderstood....

DOORS CLOSE.

CAESAR: That is never easy. Say, Sensus, wasn't your cousin a leper?

SENSUS: Yes, Lord Caesar.

CAESAR: How is she?

SENSUS: I am unsure, my Lord.

CAESAR: Unsure?

SENSUS: Yes, we used to communicate daily, but all feeling just seemed to disappear.

THEME OUT.

END

Copyright by Mike Jones and Iley Jones