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Begin Again is for people in the second half of life who sense that the identity they've been carrying no longer fits. Host Winston Faircloth — spiritual director, daily poet, and fellow traveler — brings honest conversation, personal story, and original poetry to the journey of remembering, releasing, and returning to who God created you to be. Visit www.myreuniontour.com for more resources.
Hey there, it's Winston Faircloth and welcome back to episode 55 of the Begin Again Leadership Podcast. Hey, the feedback from our most recent ReFIREment podcast series was massive. So over the next four episodes, we're going to go just a little deeper into the four phases of retirement starting today. And looking back over the past six months, if we've learned any lessons from 2020 it is that you and I will face opposition. And how we handle these challenges determines our destiny.
Winston Faircloth:So perhaps you're feeling overwhelmed, lost, or just worn out. You're missing that spark that fire you had at the beginning of the year. Well, I definitely hit that wall myself just a few months ago. And refinements the process I use to rediscover my passion, my fire. And today, others tell me how peaceful surrendered and younger I look.
Winston Faircloth:And this journey begins from within. So if you've never heard of the term refinement, I'd ask you to go back to Episode 51. For a brief explanation of the four step model that helps you gain your passion back after a season of setbacks. Just to recap the four steps. Step one is unplug, which is disconnecting from external sources on a temporary basis.
Winston Faircloth:Step two is unlearn, which is reevaluating and challenging your existing ideas, beliefs and concepts. Step three is rest, experimenting with and understanding ways to deepen your rest and recovery. And then step four is relearn incorporating new practices and beliefs to help set you on a new path. And today we'll go deeper into step one, which is UNPLUG. Now this weekend, I was reading an essay from Maria Shriver, which was written several years ago that perfectly captures our culture right now.
Winston Faircloth:And this is from her book, I've Been Thinking. Quote, have you ever had one of those weeks when no matter how hard you try to stay upbeat, cheery, and positive, you just can't? Of course, you have. That's what this past week has felt like for me. This was one of those weeks when events unfolded so rapidly it was hard to keep up.
Winston Faircloth:I spoke to folks who were glued to the news and social media, trying to dissect it all in real time and figure out what it all meant. Meanwhile, others I spoke to said they just couldn't bear any more of it and turned off everything electronic. Well, are confusing and chaotic times for sure. Few things feel certain anymore. It's hard to see a clear path ahead.
Winston Faircloth:It's hard to know what to think when everything seems to be changing more rapidly than the time it takes to form a new thought. That's why during times like these, I try to spend some time away from the noise so I can better clarify what I really do think, unquote. Well, I wished I had read this months ago, but as I shared earlier, I hit the wall hard in April 2020. Air fledging business was doing well with several courses launched. I was focusing on some group coaching versus one to one mentorship.
Winston Faircloth:And I was so excited just a few months into full time entrepreneurship and had celebrated a milestone birthday. But something was definitely off. I was no longer celebrating the success of my peers, and that's a huge red flag for me. And worse, it was starting to build into resentment about their momentum and comparatively the slow pace of my new venture. I was constantly tired, listless, and I was not living up to the simple mantra I used to guide my life and business with joy and ease.
Winston Faircloth:In fact, it was about as far away from joy and ease as I could imagine. I tried doubling down on productivity practices. I started working longer and harder, but the more that I worked, the more that I struggled. And while we've all heard the phrase that insanity is doing the same things looking for different results, intuitively I knew. I was on a downward spiral that needed to stop and fast.
Winston Faircloth:One of the factors that I was was that I was consuming way too much information, which was crowding out my inner knowing and intuition. Now I'm off the charts on I, intuition on the Myers Briggs. And when I'm at my best, whether that's spiritually, mentally, physically, I tap into this inner knowing, inner guidance, intuition system within. And as a person of faith, I understand who the true source of this inner wisdom is. And I've learned over the decades that my role in life is to remove any blockages whenever they appear so that I can be even more sensitive to those nudges, those impressions, that intuition.
Winston Faircloth:Now I'm far from perfect on that quest. I have too often allowed busyness or educational content or social media or screen time or overeating, overthinking. Gosh, I could list dozens of things that get in the way of being quiet and centered. Now, this earlier season of the downward spiral, this time the inner message could not be suppressed. It was almost like a dream.
Winston Faircloth:I could picture being in a hospital bed filled with regret that I had not heeded this warning. What had happened to get me in the hospital bed, that was fuzzy, yet the message was unmistakable. There was a medical condition that was preventable and the time to stop is now. So there was really only one thing to do. It was called UNPLUG.
Winston Faircloth:I unplugged from social media. I paused my coaching and mastermind investments, which by the way still had to be paid every month. I stopped consuming television, videos, movies, podcasts, courses. I even had to let go of some of the most valuable things to me, valuable community conversations with mentors, coaches, and peers. Now their words, while important, seemed to spin me like a top round and round.
Winston Faircloth:And finally, one of the hardest things I had to do was to unplug from work. My little seedling of a business also needed to pause. Now, this is tough for me because much of my identity and self image is tied to achievement and work. So if I wasn't working, who am I? And pausing work also meant, or so I thought, pausing income.
Winston Faircloth:We talked about that in one of the last couple of podcasts. So this was a pretty stress inducing belief here, especially in the beginning. Yet I was absolutely convinced that I'd be lying in that hospital bed because my body was going to give out unless I gave in to this season of surrender, beginning with this process of unplugging. So practically speaking, how does a season of unplug play out? I think this varies for all of us, but let me just share my journey on this process.
Winston Faircloth:For me, I challenged myself to stop certain actions and activities for thirty days and then to check-in after thirty days to see if I wanted to reinstall any of these practices. And like I said, UNPLUG probably varies for all of us and I'd suggest starting by taking an inventory of these actions or activities that tend to block your inner peace or inner knowing. Now these could be both good, air quotes here, good or air quotes bad actions. Our job is just to be curious and willing to consider these blocks and whether they will give you cues of items that you want to consider. Now for me, this is a great way to kind of check my spirit and to find out if I am willing to set aside some things in my life.
Winston Faircloth:If resistance wells up in me, or perhaps if resistance wells up in you, consider this as a clue of a particular activity that you might want to consider, giving up for thirty days. Whenever I have that spirit rise up in me, it's pretty likely it's a candidate for consideration. For me, anytime I push back or resist against an idea, it's usually a sign of something I need to consider releasing for a bit. I bet it's probably true with you too. Take this inventory and decide to unplug for thirty days.
Winston Faircloth:So let me pause for a moment and ask you to think of one, two, or three things that immediately come to mind that you know would be beneficial to you if you were able to unplug from it for the next thirty days. I'll wait a few seconds. So did anything come to mind? Something immediately from the depth of your spirit says, you know, perhaps, if I didn't do this for thirty days, my spirit would feel calmer, I'd feel more centered. And I'd be able to kind of hear from within what the next right steps are for me.
Winston Faircloth:That would be really powerful and so valuable. Now we think my business needs me to be on Facebook. My business needs me to be present in these groups. I need to be taking advantage of the coaching and masterminding and mentorship that I'm getting. I need to be going deep into this course I already spent thousands of dollars on.
Winston Faircloth:Believe me, the pull is going to come at you fast and furious. There's going to be a lot of shoulds out there. Don't shoot on yourself here. This is a gift. Unplugging is the most important gift you can give to start this process.
Winston Faircloth:But notice that the act of unplugging is just the beginning of the work. By itself, it's not the answer. At least it wasn't for me. Unplugging allowed white space in my mind and in my day to take the next important step in this process, which is unlearning, or I say the unlearned step. Now it's not that these actions alone are contributing to your sense of dis ease, isn't that an interesting word, but our lack of ease.
Winston Faircloth:The fact that we're doing these activities alone is not what's causing us the problem. It's likely that there are beliefs or practices we're doing that are not really aligned with who we are and what we desire. And without a stop to the merry-go-round of distraction, it's impossible to get uncomfortable enough to consider much less evaluate some of these beliefs and practices. So your assignment, if you choose to accept it, is to consider what a season of UNPLUG looks like for you. What are some actions or activities you're willing to forego for a short period of time to regain your inner peace and your inner quiet?
Winston Faircloth:Now these don't have to be massive or grand, don't have to be these sweeping changes in your life. In fact, probably some of the most valuable things you'll consider are very incremental. But you know what they are. You alone make this decision. You alone know what feels like a good fit for you.
Winston Faircloth:That's gonna be challenging to unplug. We're so conditioned to pick up our phone or go scan and look up and you know, to the clicker at night and watch, you know, veg out on the couch in front of the TV. It's so becoming so second nature to us. Right? But I'd ask you to consider, what does that season look like?
Winston Faircloth:And how will you know it's time that it's over? Now, some of these activities are things that, you can do by yourself. Others of these activities are probably gonna you're gonna have to enroll somebody else close in your life to give you support because you may be living with someone who also loves to do some of these activities. So who will you enroll as a partner, an accountability partner or an encourager to help you along the way. People are not going to like this.
Winston Faircloth:And people are going to give you lots of reasons why you don't need to unplug. But my guess is that if you've stayed with me for almost fourteen minutes on this podcast, This is resonating with you. You feel a need to explore, consider, perhaps even implement a season of UNPLUG because you've lost your fire, you've lost your passion, you're spinning around like a top all these external circumstances are just wearing you out. And, you know, with it being October 2020, just a few weeks before national election in The US, is there a better time to unplug? I find it hard to imagine any other time that's better than right now.
Winston Faircloth:So let's create this extra margin so you can take the next step along our refinement journey unlearn which we'll cover next time on the Begin Again Leadership Podcast. And by the way, these are our final few episodes of season one of the Begin Again Leadership Podcast. And beginning with episode 60, just a few weeks from now, we have a special surprise for you that we've been hinting about now for weeks. We want to change the focus of the podcast to something that will become a multiplier of your mission, something that every business owner wants or needs, namely, sourcing, building and growing a team you love. And how do you go about doing that?
Winston Faircloth:And how do you really multiply your impact, your the margin and your income? Well, it starts with having a team that you love. And I have a wonderful interview, which is going to kick off season two of the podcast with a CEO who embodies the spirit of her love of team as our very first guest. Season two is coming up on episode 60 in just a few weeks. So that you don't miss that awesome interview and the next few steps of the refinement process, make sure to subscribe an Apple Podcast or any of your favorite podcast players so you don't miss a single episode.
Winston Faircloth:And our next episode will come out next Monday morning. Check out the show notes for a special thank you when you leave a heartfelt review. We'd love to thank you for helping us spread the word on on this message that I hope will be so inspiring and encouraging to others. And finally, as we've shared on every episode, remember the biggest breakthroughs in life and business occur the moment you decide to begin again. We'll catch you on the next episode.