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Hop along to conversations with the Kaz sisters, Ashley and Angela. You'll find a mix of silly, serious and everything in between. 🦘
This is sisters Ashley and Angela.
And this is sister rooy.
So I figured we'd open it up with talking about funny things that have happened this week in relation to maybe more mom things, more postpartum things, I suppose. Okay, like, I'll tell you one thing where I sent you a photo
You already sent me a photo.
I already sent you a photo. And I said, what is wrong with this picture?
Oh, right, yeah,
And what happened was I was wearing my pants backward.
I stared at this photo, all throughout lunch. I was like, what is wrong with this photo? And the thing is, is your daughter Emma, um, has been wearing a Mickey Mouse shirt of some sort. Anytime I see her, and for always, just like the last four weeks, I.
Feel like girl is obsessed. I'm tired of looking at Minnie Mouse or Mickey Mouse.
And she doesn't even watch Minnie or Mickey. No. She just is obsessed with these characters. And so I'm looking at this photo, which Emma is in, and I'm like, is it that Emma's finally not in a Mickey shirt?
Oh, yeah. Cause she's in, like, the corner of the photo. Definitely not the focus of it at all. No.
But I think you had Zach wrapped
He'S in the carrier. Yeah.
Yeah. So I was like, the only other thing I see is like, his foot hanging out, which is fine. So I was just like, what are you talking about? And then you're just like, I have a tail. And I zoomed in and I just started cracking up. And Justin, was just like, what is up with you? And then I told him, I said, can you find what's wrong with this photo? And he stared at it for a good amount of time too, and never could figure it out. And I said, she has a tail.
Yeah.
And he zoomed in and he was just like, oh, well, there it is.
It wasn't obvious because they are the type of pants that are. They're not sweatpants, but they're a very loose fitting pant and they're lounge pants. And the only reason I found out that they were on backwards is Cause finally around like 2pm, which is. Which is super late in the day for me to try and put my phone in my pocket. But that's how I found out that my pants were on backwards. Because the pocket wasn't. It wasn't in the right spot.
But, like, had you gone to the bathroom with these pants?
Yeah, but I didn't have to put my phone in my pocket for that. Like, I just.
But you still had to take them down. You never saw the tag sticking in the front.
Like I said, they just.
I can't tell you, man, but you're just so tired.
So tired.
Angela put her shirt on backwards once while breastfeeding
But you know what else happened today? Put my shirt on backwards. Oh, well, it wasn't this shirt. The shirt that I was wearing.
I'm looking at you, I'm like, was it backwards still? No.
The shirt that I was wearing was a pure black top with like a V neck. And I go to the bathroom and.
I look in the mirror.
and I was like, my shirt should have a V in the front. And I turn, I'm like, there it is. It's on my back. So, you know, for me, momming after a month and being sleep deprived, I have just decided to put my clothes on backwards. And it takes me a really long time to find out.
I think I did. I have a sweatshirt that is all gray and like, no graphics on the front or anything. And I think I had that on backwards once.
Like recently.
Yeah, like within the last four weeks. Oh.
Glad to know I'm not the only one putting clothes on backwards.
It was just one time.
So I didn't have a hood. Cause that would have been really obvious.
Yeah, it was just a crew hoodie or crew sweatshirt. It was one that was all different, all the same color. And, I did have that backwards for a good amount of time. I think I went out of the house with that. Like, that. I was like, crap, how long has this been backwards? But it was like, not a big deal. Cause it was plain. Yeah. I'm trying to remember what sweatshirt it was, and it's not coming to me. But I think it was the gray one. That was my only, like, lounge wear issues.
No. So that happened this week because I.
Had a rash from all of my allergies. If you listen to our delivery stories, I was inflamed and have a rash just in different stages of its life that's seemingly lasting forever. And I couldn't wear tight clothes. And I was just like, justin, I need you to go buy me, like, bigger underwear, a bigger bra. Because I just could not with what I had. Um, unfortunately, because I am, um, formul. Wow. I am formula feeding my baby. So, they tell you to wear tight. A tight bra to help dry up your milk.
Yeah.
And I was just like, I can't do it. I need looser clothing because this is so uncomfortable. Because I was so itchy. So itchy.
Yeah. And for me, I'm Breastfeeding, though. And to have anything tight on my chest, it, like, hurts you. It's just like, oh, my gosh. That's the worst feeling when I'm. When you're just feeling super compressed. But Jake surprised me with, uh, something yesterday where he went out to Wendy's, and I was thinking, oh, probably got me a Frosty, even though I told him I don't need ice cream because I got a whole gallon in the freezer. So he didn't come home with a Frosty. He actually came home with a whole bag of Chips Ahoy cookies. And, you know, I was actually like.
Mini Chips Ahoy cookies. Like, a whole bag or just an actual carton?
It's a carton.
Oh, okay.
Not mini. Mini chip. I, know they exist.
Yeah. Those are in a bag. So that's. I buy those. I've bought those for Ace before. So I'm just like, okay. I wouldn't call that a bag.
No, I. The description. You're right. That detail. I should not have said a bag. It is a carton.
Anyway, you got some Chips Ahoy chocolate chip cookies.
Yeah. And crunchy. Crunchy. I don't know which.
Even though you just bought Girl Scout cookies.
Yeah. You know, I haven't had those yet. They have been sitting in our pantry. The thing is, I've been really having a terrible time. Not a terrible time. I'm enjoying it.
Angela says breastfeeding forces her to eat more calories than usual
It's just not good for my body, where I'm snacking super late at night, and m. I'm starving because I'm breastfeeding all calories. I'm just consuming and eating all the time.
I don't know how this is different than when you're not breastfeeding, but continue.
Very true. I am just eating more than I typically do, which is even more dumbfounding to Jake because he's upset at how much I'm eating. And the figure that I maintain.
And I said, we get that a lot.
I told him. I was like, you know, one of these days, it will catch up with me. I probably. Yes, I know. But, you know, it's not today.
Not when I'm feeding two still.
So anyway, I have been either hardcore drinking hot chocolate with a ton of melted marshmallows, because that's just what I do, or I eat a ton of. Of ice cream in a bowl with sprinkles. Right now my go to is plain chocolate with a ton of sprinkles. And, uh, last night, it was all about cookies. And guys, I'm not proud of it. But, like, this happened. Jake bought me this whole carton of cookies.
Oh, my gosh. I didn't eat the whole thing. Oh, okay.
There were three, two servings left.
How much is a serving?
I have 11, and three cookies is a serving. So six cookies. Right. I left six cookies. And Jake, uh, is, you know, eating his Wendy's. We're actually having a great conversation over dinner. Well, his dinner and my dessert. And so he sees that I've eaten half the carton, and he's like, holy crap, honey. Like I said, don't judge me. But then he just goes, like, out of concern for, uh, the fact that he just wanted one cookie. And he's like, can I just have one? I was like, you can have three. Three are in a serving. So anyway, yeah, almost totally ate all of those cookies. But I decided not to. There was a cutoff. There was a moment where I said, I've had enough.
It was when they were almost gone. Oh, man.
But I was telling him. I was like, there's 160 calories in one serving.
And, uh, if I ate the whole.
Thing, that would be 11.
I'm not even gonna attempt to try and figure out if that math is correct. But, yeah, I mean, but the calories, like, It's not like you count calories or anything.
No, I don't count calories. And I just found it funny because now I have the excuse of breastfeeding to be like, oh, yeah, I should be eating. like, my weight in food, apparently.
But really what I wanted is how much sugar was in each serving
Yeah, I should look. I didn't look at that.
Maybe that kept you up all. Did that keep you up all hours of the night?
No. The thing is, once I go horizontal with how sleep deprived I am at the moment, because with breastfeeding, for those of you who don't know, you should be feeding and waking up your child every, like, three hours being the max.
It's the same with formula feeding.
Okay. But, with formula feeding, you can sleep through it.
You're not, like, You're, like, bursting to, you know, release.
Yeah. And Justin can feed so that you can get your consecutive hours. So for me, yes, I'm super sleep deprived. And, uh, even before being pregnant and having to breastfeed, I can fall asleep so quickly.
Once I'm laying horizontal, you can sleep anywhere.
Yeah.
And everywhere.
Yep.
We were just talking with our brother about this. not we eat as in me and you, but me and Justin. because he can fall asleep, like, super easily on planes. So he's saying that he's been taking Jeremy. they came and visited Met, Sam and everything. So he was saying that he does, like, red eyes and just falls asleep on the plane. And Justin's like, I cannot fall asleep on a plane for the life of me. And so when I do red eyes, I just regret it because I'm sitting up and everybody else around me, and then I'm still tired when I land. And so it's just a disaster And I'm just like, yeah, you and Angela can, like, fall asleep anywhere. I can fall asleep on a plane. Okay. Ish. but like, mom. Mom can sleep anywhere as well, so.
Maybe we've gotten that from Mom.
Well, so dad can sleep anywhere too. I don't know.
I suppose what I don't like, though, about public sleeping is just the fact that I will embarrassingly probably wake up with a slack jaw.
I mean, we all have a slack jaw when we sleep.
I'm addicted to sugar, but different type of sugar
I feel like in our family.
Ye. Yep. As our babies have proven as well.
Now, my embarrassing thing, which I know you have as well, is I do this, like, jolting and make a sound, like, right before I fall asleep. And sometimes I'm aware of it.
Oh, yes. And then you're like, crap, who saw. Who heard that jump out of my skin?
Which on a plane, you can't super hear it. but yeah, I know sometimes when I do it and I'll be falling asleep next to Justin in however many years we've been together. And I'll do it, and I'm just like, did I just do it? And he'll be like, uh huh. And that's like the last thing I say. And I'm out.
Well, for me, yeah. If I jump, I'll startle Jake easily, and he'll be mad at me for startling him and waking him up out of his almost sleep stupor. And then I'm just, you know, out and conked in two seconds.
Yeah. Nice to be us sometimes.
Yeah. But I've definitely no the sugar. And I think even if I had something caffeinated, it doesn't really, really impact me. I will just be able to fall asleep because right now it's like my brain knows I have limited time to sleep, so my body better go to sleep.
I wish. I drink caffeine way more than my sister. I drink coffee, I drink soda. I literally, before we started podcasting today, it was like, I'm addicted to the Taste of all the sugar and everything. And I'm like, give it all to me. I mean, I'm totally addicted to sugar for sure, but different type of sugar. But yeah, I'm just like, I like the caffeine, but doesn't do anything for me. And if it does do anything for me, it really just gives me. I'll always tell you, like, oh, today I got an actual cup of anxiety.
Yeah, it just makes you more anxious.
which hasn't really been the case recently. But even when I was pregnant, I was doing, soda, which has less caffeine. And if I did coffee, I did decaf, so it didn't have any caffeine. But, um, they didn't keep me up like all hours of the night and I would still be super tired.
Yeah.
And so I will drink a soda or now have regular caffeinated coffee to help me do like a night shift so that Justin can sleep. And I'm still like exhausted by 3am which is also funny because I'm totally a night owl.
I'm, such a night owl too.
But like 3am hits and I'm exhausted these days and I'm just like, please, child, go to bed. But he's so cute and he's just looking up at me and he's just like, give me this bottle.
Yeah, there's always two windows. I think we're in the same boat where like our kids are. The babies are wide awake and they're just like, no, I don't want to fall asleep. Yeah, no, it's time to be up, mom.
But we saw each other yesterday and they were both wide awake. Ish. And we did some tummy time during that.
We did fun tummy time.
Involved their siblings. And the tummy time too. Yeah, tummy, tummy time too. I think I said tuned.
You know, wouldn't put it past you.
But anyway. I have recently been obsessed with ice cream. I don't know what it is, but I just have craving for ice cream and I'm not even pregnant anymore or breastfeeding. And so I'm just like, I want any ice cream. Justin, pick me up some ice cream on your way home. get me some ice cream from Publix. I don't know, it's just any type of ice cream. Any type of ice cream. I'm just like, give me a Frosty if you're on the way. Give me some Dairy Queen. I don't care. One time I was like, I want a milkshake. So any form.
I will Accept any form of ice cream.
And I'm just, like, all about it right now, which is also. It's kind of cold. Ish. In Florida right now, so I don't know why I was freezing last.
Ah. Night. Sorry.
Did you have hot cocoa?
I didn't, but I wish I did. I had the cookies.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my gosh. No, you just reminded me. Jake was even worried, like, are you coming down with something? I was like, no, I'm just freezing my limbs. I slept with socks on last night. I hate sleeping with socks.
I just feel like you hate socks in general.
Yeah, if I could go sockless all the time, I would.
But anyway.
Ashley had some really good ice cream that was Butterfinger flavored
Anyway. No, I was just saying I'm really glad I did not have ice cream last night. because I was freezing. But I thought it was just because you had some really good ice cream that was Butterfinger flavored. And you've been obsessed, but now you're just on an ice cream kick.
Yes.
So
we have a farm nearby, and They get ice cream delivered from another farm from Florida. And the ice cream is called Sutton. Sutton Milk, I think. and so they make all of their ice cream from there. Yeah. Fresh from their cows and their farm. And I haven't found a bad flavor yet. They have an amazing honey vanilla. That sounds good. Yeah, it's like, super refreshing, super delicious. The only other time I've had a honey vanilla was in Ireland. Fun little tangent. Really fast. We were in Ireland last year around this time, and yeah, we had a honey vanilla, and they literally put honeycomb in it. Um, so delicious. So this honey vanilla from Sutton Milk does not have honeycomb, but it does have honey, and it's delicious. But I'm typically a chocolate person, so I always try to do the chocolate flavors. They have a really good Kit Kat flavor. I really love Snickers. You know this as my favorite candy bar. One of them. And I can't do Snickers in ice cream because the peanuts with the cold, it just makes it too hard.
Yeah.
On my teeth. And so the Snickers ice cream, it's good, but I can't have it because of the hardness on my teeth.
Your teeth will fall out because you just crack them.
Yes. And so I was really worried about this Butterfinger, but I was intrigued. And I was like, okay.
Because our peanuts and Butterfinger, I don't.
It's just a crunchier. It's a crunchier candy bar. And so I was worried that the crunchiness was going to be too cold and hurt my teeth. And so I was like, well, I'll try this butter finger. But they like creamed up the butter finger. And um, like there were bits of it, but it was chopped really well. Yeah, finely. And oh my gosh, guys, this Butterfinger ice cream was like the best thing I've had in a while. I will say I went and got more ice cream from the farm yesterday and I am very excited for the next one that I got which I have not tried yet. It is chocolate ice cream with Oreos with bunch of crunch.
Oh my gosh.
I am stoked.
Ridiculous. Guys, my sister Ashley's go, to for her movie theater candy is a bunch of crunch.
Bunch of crunch. And it is just a classic movie theater.
I don't know. I mean, Oreo and chocolate definitely would be great. It's probably gonna be great.
I am excited. And then I got just a classic cookies and cream. Cause I was like, I need two of these. I don't care if they're more expensive. I'd rather support a local farm anyway and eat this ice cream in one sitting.
You know, I can relate because I.
Tried to do it in pieces
And no judgment because here I am eating almost the whole carton of cookie.
Definitely no judgment. Angela, if she gets a gallon of ice cream, she probably puts half of that in a bowl for her one serving.
Now it's lasted longer because I'm probably halfway through the gallon in and I'm going to add it at least three times.
I'm gonna make you take a picture of a nice, healthy Angela sized ice cream that is your typical bowl. And I'm gonna have you take a picture and we are going to show our followers what this helping ice cream is like.
I would yell something in as if.
Uh, my teen boys put this amount of ice cream in their bowl. I would have yelled at them to put like 3/4 of it back. And Angela over here is just like, you know, an adult who makes her own decisions and so she will eat it all. And people, people look at her like she's crazy. And she is.
Yep. Yeah. Now some people would say it's kind of a, disgusting amount. But that, that is me now. I feel like I eat so much ice cream. But even before, even before you were.
Emma is starting to drop her nap, but she still naps
Always an ice cream fiend.
Totally. A beast is really the.
Yeah, a girl likes ice cream, but.
It'S insane how hungry. Regardless if I'm craving ice cream or.
A whole carton of cookies. Cookies.
Just food in general. It's not just a dessert.
You're like a ravenous, always hungry.
And it's even more so because I am breastfeeding now. The cravings for food are insane. I feel like I eat five meals a day.
Are you just constantly snacking?
Well, yes, but it doesn't help that I feel like I'm up at all odd hours during the night too. And so my body is just not on its regular circadian rhythm them. And you got a snack when you can. So anyway, it's one of my thoughts of just the fact that when I think about. Okay, we have now been momming two children for a month now at the time of this recording.
Yeah.
And like one of my thoughts is just, gosh, because I'm for me, breastfeeding, I am just starving all the time. And chasing after a toddler too. When sometimes it's already hard enough as a mom to like feed yourself while you're chasing around your kid.
Oh yeah.
Then add a baby and you're breastfeeding. like even if you're not breastfeeding, like you're just trying to fit in food.
This is how I felt when I was pregnant because I was trying to feed myself and I was chasing around Ace.
Mhm.
And Ace doesn't nap anymore. Like at least you get a small window where Emma still naps. Which don't.
This is a sidebar. But like Jake brought up today thinking that Emma might be ready to drop a nap. And I'm like, why are you putting this in my life right now? I broke down at some point cause I was like, I need a nap. And uh, I think because I was just sleep deprived and to add this potential stress of okay, if I lose my toddler's nap and I don't get a potential little break.
I mean, yeah, she is napping later Which is also resulting in her going to bed later.
Yeah. And part of me is just like, okay, we're just not in a rude state. We're not making her wake up at any point. We let her sleep through at ridiculous weird hours.
Yeah.
So I'm like, I.
You're just surviving right now. It's the first four weeks.
Surviving. Yes.
Well, it was the first four weeks. Now we're past that.
yeah. But Jake, Jake was seriously bringing. He's brought it up a few times. Like, are we doing the right thing with Emma and her naps, with how long it takes her to fall asleep? And now I feel like I gotta Research how long or when to have a nap dropped altogether. But I said, we'll at least have to research it. And I told Jake that we should probably at least try doing something consistent with a schedule where if we're thinking of dropping her nap, let's at first try waking her up at a certain point in the morning, see if she actually naps, like, more at a decent time, and then put her to bed at a decent bedtime and see how that goes. Before I just say, okay, yes, we're going to drop her nap because I think I was freaking out.
My boy stopped napping at 2.
the cursory research that I looked at was. Okay. Yes, between 3 and 5 is the typical age that they drop their nap completely.
Yeah. I wish I made it to three.
Yeah.
I didn't make it to three, guys. He didn't want a nap at all. But I will say my boy, he sleeps, like 12, 13 hours through the night uninterrupted. So I can't complain. I'd rather just get the sleep, I guess. And we find quiet time somewhere in the.
The day. Yeah. Yeah.
Compared to first pregnancy and postpartum, I feel like I healed faster
but some of the other thoughts that I have had since now, being a month in a mom of two with the mom of two, um, I guess comparing to the first pregnancy and the postpartum situation, I feel like I healed faster. Either that or I, like, was mentally prepared more.
Like maybe the adrenaline just, like, kicked in automatically without you knowing.
I, uh, guess. Yeah.
So I had a different labor experience between Ace and Sam.
Yeah.
But I do feel like I healed faster. I actually did a workout yesterday. good for you.
A peloton.
I did. I almost took a picture. And then I was like, no. And I'm pretty sure, actually it was two days days ago. And I'm pretty sure my butt feels bruised from, just, like, sitting on the bike. I'm, like, not used to it.
Yeah, I can. I, mean just going, my legs.
Were sore the next day. It was such a chill ride that I did too. I only did like a 10 minute lane break, which is kind of like a DDR but for cycling. Um, fun. And then I did a five minute cool down. So I did it for 15 minutes and I did very low impact. But yeah, I do feel like my my butt bone was like sore sitting on it the other day.
I mean even my abs, I don't lay on my stomach very often now because the chest is so sore.
Yeah.
And so even just last night, it was so good to. I laid on my back. I don't remember what this pose is for. When you're like the basic yoga pose of you're on your stomach and you lay up and you put your downward dog. No, it's not downward dog. It's the opposite where like your hands are on the floor, your feet and legs are like, you know, laying on the ground and you're pulling your, your, your head and chest upward and that like gives your abdominal stretch.
Don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know what it's called. The yoga folks would not be impressed. But I'm not a yoga person. But anyway, like just doing that, like, oh my gosh. My abs have not stretched in this regard in months. Probably a year, at least nine months.
Yeah, I don't, I don't really have abs to know. Just drink, stretch them really. When I lean back.
If you have abs, you would feel the stretch regardless. Maybe you don't have to have an eight pack.
Yeah. I don't know if I've stretched my abdominal wall lately. No.
But anyway, proud of you for doing your, your peloton. But that like I, but I did.
That after four weeks. Like a lot of people would not be recommended to even work out if you're not feeling up for it until their six week checkup.
Yeah, I, I feel like for my first pregnancy and in the healing postpartum, the fourth trimester, yeah, I didn't do much. I. It was colder in Alabama, during that time frame, but I still would have went on some walks, but it was rare. And this time I told Jake, I was like, I want to start ready and motivated. Yeah. I want to start a workout routine. It doesn't have to be intense because like I said, I've told you, you. My goal was just to try and go on three walks in a week.
Yeah. My goal was one ride.
Yeah. And this last week I only got up to two walks, so I'm like.
Okay, good for you.
I finally got Ace down by his normal time to sleep last night
Started with some progress and a baseline, but everything has been super low impact.
I'm sure it's good for our mentalities too.
Oh yeah. Just getting outside and out of the house. Not that I. I'm not someone who goes stir crazy and hates like, being in my house 24 7. I would live in my house and love it. But it's all proven to do benefits and loads for being outside. So the healing and my ability to get into, a semblance of a routine of working out, those have been better.
Yeah.
I did this time around.
I did finally get Ace down by his normal time to sleep last night. And I felt so great about it. And I had like the whole night.
I'm glad I got out of the house. I told Jake, I was like, I am not gonna be the reason that Ashley can't put down her kiddo at a decent hour. Cause that was when I came over, right?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
For like, not even an hour. It was the quickest visit I've probably ever had with you.
Yeah.
Cause we didn't talk about anything substantial, I think.
Yeah. I think Justin woke up, he emerged from his nap and he was like, where is everyone? I'm m. Like, well, Ace is in bed. And, Angela left. And he was like, what?
And that's funny because Jake, when he stirred and I'm back at home with Emma, he's like, you already went and came back from Ashley's. And I was like, yes.
I told Justin. I was like, she was here for less than an hour. Which was, which is crazy, guys. We do not do less than an hour visits. But we did it.
It felt so strange. I. I just knew it felt strange because it was so not us.
but yes, you left and Ace went absolutely crazy. And I'm just like, okay, we just, we need to just go to bed. Like, I need to just do the routine now and we need to get. Get on it. And he fought me on it. But then once we started doing the routine, he was fine and fell asleep. Literally once we. We got into his bed within 20 minutes. And I was. He did a lot.
Yes, he did a lot yesterday.
He did. We saw a few people. So we'll see. I mean, he's out with dad now with Justin.
Mhm.
So we'll see how tonight goes. But I'm just like, I think we have been keeping him up past his wake window and that is hurting us.
Yeah.
And so we need to put him back to his bedtime. So again, first four weeks, guys, we were just surviving and now we're gonna start thriving.
Yaaas.
Ace is so much easier than Emma, but it's still challenging
But that reminds me of another thought that I had about living in this month. Is that babies are so much easier than toddlers. Like, so much easier.
So easy. Because they just sleep all the time.
Yeah. They don't give you attitude. They don't give you like, they don't have opinions. They just literally are being fed, changed, and then they sleep.
Yeah. I mean, it's also nice because I. I was feeling some major mom guilt. I think I told you like a week or two after being postpartum.
Yeah.
Which could have also just been hormones. Whatever. Like, I also feel like my hormones.
Blues.
Yeah. My hormones just aren't. I feel like as heightened as they were.
Like a roller coaster.
Yeah. Like, I just feel more in control.
That's what I told Jake. I. Like, in. In a different way. I told him I feel like we've been rocking the parenting a little more. It's still challenging. I said it's, still hard.
Yeah. We still have.
You're still sleep deprived. Uh, and uh, there's snapping and whatever. But I told Jake whether it's because I went in with a mentality of this is what happened with Emma. Huh. So this is what I can expect. You have a comparison to baseline. But I feel. I don't feel like I've. I know in one of the episodes I said Jake would tell you that. Oh, he's seen my crazy.
Yeah.
But I'm like, I don't feel like I've.
You don't feel crazy?
Yeah, I don't feel like. I don't feel that. I feel like I have communicated.
The question is, does Jake feel it?
I think he would agree. We communicate better. Like it's.
Maybe you just learned.
Yeah. We know basically if I'm sleep deprived and don't get. Not a cumulative. Because I can't get a cumulative three hours of sleep. But if I sum it all up for the night and I get at least four hours. Hours, I'm most likely not gonna bite somebody's head off. But, I also had expectations of like with Emma. I wanted to make sure that we had intimate family time before we saw people. before people like came and visited us and all a sudden of. Of that.
Like, uh.
Cuz with Emma, we basically came home from the hospital. This wasn't planned and it was purely because of we didn't know when I was going to get discharged from the hospital, but I. We had, less than 10 minutes of getting home, and then people were at our house, and that was not planned. Like, we thought we would have had a few hours at home.
Yeah.
this time around, it was like, okay, we Aren't seeing anybody. No one's gonna be spending the night at our house. And we got to have very special moments with Emma, and. And Zach. So, anyway, feel a lot better.
Yeah. I. I don't know what it was, but I just felt so much mom guilt in the first couple weeks because I was just like, I'm not giving as much time to Ace, and, like, not all the focus is on him anymore. I feel like I was just grieving it because maybe I wasn't ready because he. Because Sam came early.
You thought maybe you would have had more time with him one on one.
Yeah. And, I mean, we. We prepared Ace so good. Like, I think, because he has exceeded all of our expectations of just being For the most part, really good of just having him. Like, if Sam's not in the room, he's, like, where he. Sam, like, oh, he's sleeping in his room. Um, so, like, he's concerned, and I don't feel like he feels any differently. Like, things have changed.
But, yeah, he hasn't really reacted. You said, like, how. I've told you, Emma has definitely had a couple. Like, there's at least once not so much anymore. But for the first three weeks, she guaranteed had, like, one type of.
Emma is at a stage where separation anxiety is developing
I want to say meltdown, but when she saw mom had Zach, her new baby brother, like, there was always a certain point where she's like, mama, pick up. And, like, just crying to me, and I'm like, oh, uh, poor child.
She's also at a stage, too, with separation anxiety being a thing. So introducing. Introducing a new sibling, too, just might exasperate it a little bit. But I feel like Ace had already gone past that. Separation anxiety.
Yeah.
Being a year older. Yeah. And like, you, you've seen his separation anxiety. And now if we leave and he's got a babysitter or someone, he's just like, see you.
Bye. See you later.
So he'll be like, mama, Dada, leave.
Get out.
so I feel like he's. It might just be that stage that she's in, too.
True.
but, yeah, I was just saying my mom guilt Felt bad.
So you're not feeling the mom. You have not recently felt the mom guilt, like, this week?
No, I had the mom guilt. And I feel like we're still giving Ace, one on one time again. Like, Justin took him to quality parent time with him, which is very normal. Like, on a weekend, he would take him and I'd be like, home. Now I'm just home with a baby. And as you just said, babies are super chill right now. Yeah.
Ah, they nap.
And so when he's napping, I get that one on one time. Like, he was napping this morning, and I was still able to eat breakfast with. With Ace and sit and talk with him and play with him. We did a puzzle, and so I'm just like, okay, he's still getting this one on one time, which I felt really, really good about.
Yeah. Yeah. When you brought up mom guilt, I was like, oh, that's funny. I. I don't feel that. But I. I mainly expected Emma, um, um. And like you said, she's at a different age and stage where I. I just expected she was going to have some issues. I didn't know how it was going to present itself. But, I think because I expected that. I mean, there was just one moment. Jake left, I think, to get groceries or maybe pick up dinner. I don't know. But it was the First or second time that I was at home by myself with both kids, and they were going to be awake. And I was like, okay, This will be interesting. But there was probably five to ten minute. It might not have been that long, but it felt like ages to me because I'm in our playroom area where Emma, uh, is upset that I'm holding Zach. Zach is upset because I think it was time for me to have to feed him. So he's a hungry little boy. And, uh, they're just both crying, and I'm like, which kid? How to help both of them at the same time. And I just. I scoop, uh, Emma up, like, near the floor. I'm kneeling, holding Zach in one arm, holding Emma with my other, and they're just both wailing. I'm like, if only this was recorded. Because in my head, I didn't feel guilty. I expected this type of chaos to happen. At some point.
I might have cried with them. I.
In my head, I thought it was comical. And I was like, if only this was. This was recorded. Because this is my life right now. And, um. Yep.
I mean, yeah, there are times where you just have to be like, all right, this is funny and this is gonna happen and it's gonna be okay and we're gonna get through it. Yeah. There are worse things.
Things.
Justin will be going to Ireland and I will be single parenting with two kids. And, Yeah. Wish me luck, guys. By the time this comes out, it will be done, but I will probably have. I'll probably have a full episode. Just about what happens, happens that week. I'm gonna need. I'm gonna need help.
You're gonna stack up on caffeine.
I'm gonna parent tag team my mom.
I'll come over. Hey, it'll be fun.
It's really.
Getting through bedtime with Ace is my main concern
I just gotta get like through bedtime with Ace is my main concern. And then getting through the night and getting some sleep somewhere in between.
Yeah. Which as long as Sam is sleeping when you're putting Ace down, shouldn't be that bad.
We shall see.
We shall see.
Do you think it's harder going from 1 to 2 or 3
The age old question. Do you think it's harder going from 1 to 2 or 0 to 1? Hmm.
I think it was definitely harder going from 0 to 1. Cause there's so much you find out they don't talk about.
Yeah.
Like, there's so much about the healing process. I didn't know what to expect about that. Like, nothing prepared me.
I feel like you were not prepared for your hormones.
Wasn't prepared for it.
Just came and hit you up.
Who can be prepared for it? Because that was my biggest, biggest fear is you never know how your body is going to respond.
Yeah.
My expectations were just better going into second, kiddo. I think what I don't love is just now. Nothing is ever clean. Like, I'm back to everything is either spit up or like just always the constant laundry.
You gotta embrace some of it and pick your battles.
Yeah. I just. I now have to just set my expectations that like, literally all my clothes will never be clean.
Yeah. And for a year knows that. Uh, I. And I've tried to be better about it over the course of two years, I feel like. But Angela knows that I love to have a clean kitchen. nothing in my sink before I go to bed. I really just like to have A clean house before I go to bed. I like, a lot of people will say like, the house to bed. And I'm like, yeah, I like to wake up in the morning and not have chaos around me. And it's just my personality.
I mean, I do the same thing. You pick up the toys, like wiped down counters on most days. I want to do that too.
Yeah. And so there are times that I'm like, you know what, the dishes are going to be fine until the morning. Unless it's a bottle. Need those.
It's true. Because I find myself looking at some of those posts where it's like, oh, you're 20 years into the future and your kids as they were little, like completely past that stage. And then you're just thinking, about what your house used to be and that, oh, there were just random toys and shoes strewn around and like, honestly I could get teary eyed just thinking about, oh my gosh, that's like gonna pass. And then I'm gonna miss that. And then like, dang, those are the years.
Yeah. But then also there's posts that are like, the kids aren't gonna remember the message. Messy house. They're going to remember their memories and time with you that you were love.
They were loved, played with, like, taken care of. It just. Yeah. I gotta remind myself too, to not care, not care like what the adult me wants and craves because it just is not important.
It is a constant work for certain things for me. And I've gotten better over the past three years. Like ever since having Ace, I feel like, Because I'm sure I was a very different type of foster mom since I went from having no kids to two teenage boys as our first placements. I'm sure that I handled situations very differently than what I would do now that I'm not proud of. and yeah, why do I care? And Like, just move on, it will be okay. So there's definitely certain, certain things for sure.
Yeah.
I have heard that, sometimes when they ask from the zero to one or the one to two question, it changes as the second child gets older. So once.
Oh, really?
Once the two. Yeah, I could see that are in two toddlers. When we have two toddlers. Toddlers, we'll see what happens.
But yeah, because once you're past the baby stage, like I said, the babies are just so much easier and then once they start talking and moving.
And while they do sleep a lot, they don't sleep for long periods of time. So we'll get our sleep back.
Yeah.
And, uh, they'll have little personalities come out. It's gonna be so much fun.
I know.
Did we mention they're 34 hours apart?
Imagine these two getting into trouble and then roping in
Guys, Our kids. Because. Because they're gonna get into some trouble.
They're like, practically twins without being twins.
I just. So imagine these two getting into trouble and then roping in. Ace. Because little siblings can rope their big siblings in, too. And then we even have completely. We have a cousin of theirs that is three months behind or two months behind. Ace. And if they all get together, they're gonna get in trouble. So bless our hearts and our futures.
We'll have some laughs, too, at the.
Oh, I'm sure we'll laugh, like, while it's happening. Like, we saw this coming.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
But we'll keep you guys posted. Bye. Bye.