“You have only to rest in inaction and things will transform themselves. Smash your form and body, spit out hearing and eyesight, forget you are a thing among other things, and you may join in great unity with the deep and boundless.” ― Zhuangzi
Last episode, we talked about one of the greatest challenges we all face when we go in search of true personal growth — knowing the difference between genuine optimism and toxic positivity. This week, we're digging into the other insidious extreme that seems to crop up in growth mindset circles, and that's a relentless pursuit of productive, proactive, forward movement at all times.
Choosing a course of inaction or stillness is often viewed as a cop out move, steeped in passivity. That's why quotes like, "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing," OR "The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything," from Theodore Roosevelt are so popular.
Still, we believe in balance. You cannot be moving forward at all times. Not every moment — particularly deeply emotional moments — should be met with brute force productivity. In fact, sometimes the best course of action is inaction. Sometimes the most radical way forward is to choose intentional stillness.
In this episode, George and I share personal stories of how we've wrestled to strike that balance between productivity and stillness with profound results.
As George pointed out in our chat:
"Listen in the journey of beyond your default, stillness is not just about physical inactivity. It's a profound mental and emotional practice. It's about stepping out of the autopilot mode of existence and knee-jerk responses, and engaging with life in a way that is more conscious, thoughtful, and authentic."
Over the years, in our own ways, we've learned the hard way that action isn't always the best way forward, as well as what the consequences of failing to embrace moments of stillness truly are. So, join us for this illuminating conversation in which we uncover the power of stillness, of going within in pursuit of peace and personal growth. It's not always easy — that fine line between purposeful inaction and deferential passivity is a fine one — but it's essential.
Questions We Discuss
Why was George quite literally bouncing with excitement about this episode?
When have we learned the hard way that action isn't always the best course of action?
How have we put moments of stillness into practice in our own lives, and what were the results?
What is the difference between purposeful stillness and immobilized passivity that's going to bite you in the ass later on?
What are we doing internally during that time of stillness? What purpose does inaction serve for us? Is it a catalyst for an internalized process?
How do you know when stillness is the right choice?
When do you know it's time to start taking action again?
How do you handle it when folks react poorly to your choice to not take action? Where a reaction is wanted from you?
Why is learning to be still such a critical part of the beyond your default journey?
Chapters
“You have only to rest in inaction and things will transform themselves. Smash your form and body, spit out hearing and eyesight, forget you are a thing among other things, and you may join in great unity with the deep and boundless.” ― Zhuangzi
Last episode, we talked about one of the greatest challenges we all face when we go in search of true personal growth — knowing the difference between genuine optimism and toxic positivity. This week, we're digging into the other insidious extreme that seems to crop up in growth mindset circles, and that's a relentless pursuit of productive, proactive, forward movement at all times.
Choosing a course of inaction or stillness is often viewed as a cop out move, steeped in passivity. That's why quotes like, "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing," OR "The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything," from Theodore Roosevelt are so popular.
Still, we believe in balance. You cannot be moving forward at all times. Not every moment — particularly deeply emotional moments — should be met with brute force productivity. In fact, sometimes the best course of action is inaction. Sometimes the most radical way forward is to choose intentional stillness.
In this episode, George and I share personal stories of how we've wrestled to strike that balance between productivity and stillness with profound results.
As George pointed out in our chat:
"Listen in the journey of beyond your default, stillness is not just about physical inactivity. It's a profound mental and emotional practice. It's about stepping out of the autopilot mode of existence and knee-jerk responses, and engaging with life in a way that is more conscious, thoughtful, and authentic."
Over the years, in our own ways, we've learned the hard way that action isn't always the best way forward, as well as what the consequences of failing to embrace moments of stillness truly are. So, join us for this illuminating conversation in which we uncover the power of stillness, of going within in pursuit of peace and personal growth. It's not always easy — that fine line between purposeful inaction and deferential passivity is a fine one — but it's essential.
Questions We Discuss
Why was George quite literally bouncing with excitement about this episode?
When have we learned the hard way that action isn't always the best course of action?
How have we put moments of stillness into practice in our own lives, and what were the results?
What is the difference between purposeful stillness and immobilized passivity that's going to bite you in the ass later on?
What are we doing internally during that time of stillness? What purpose does inaction serve for us? Is it a catalyst for an internalized process?
How do you know when stillness is the right choice?
When do you know it's time to start taking action again?
How do you handle it when folks react poorly to your choice to not take action? Where a reaction is wanted from you?
Why is learning to be still such a critical part of the beyond your default journey?
Creators & Guests
Host
George B. Thomas
A catalyst for growth!
Host
Liz Moorehead
Content therapist and speaker.
What is Beyond Your Default?
What Is Beyond Your Default? "Everyone keeps telling me I should be happy, but I'm not." “I feel stuck.” “I have a calling, but where do I start?"
Right now, you have a choice. You can continue living within your default norms, playing it safe, clocking in and out every day, and scraping by to achieve what's supposed to make you happy hopefully. Or you can choose to accept the challenge of living beyond your default. Stop wishing to live your "best life” and start living your best life. Success leaves clues. And they're waiting for you to discover them.
George B. Thomas:
If we extrapolate this idea of be still or being still, we should start to think about terms like be silent or take rest. Right? And I have to ask you right now as you're listening to this podcast, how hard is it to be silent or be in silence in our world today? With all the bells and dings and streaming and silence or being silent is super difficult, especially in a a world where it's go, go, go, go. Hustle.
George B. Thomas:
Hustle. Yeah. You can make it. You can do anything. And in a world where most of us humans complain about not having enough time, oh, time flies.
George B. Thomas:
Where did the time go? Oh, I can't believe it's already February 2024. Well, then how powerful is rest when you're living in that world?
Liz Moorehead:
Welcome back to beyond your default. I'm your host, Liz Morehead. And as always, I am joined by George b Thomas. George, I'm excited and nervous for today's episode because literally seconds before you hit the record button this morning, you very ominously said, I think we're gonna get to the end of this episode today and say, this was a really interesting episode, which again, as the producer side of me, very excited. The emotional side of me wonders, oh, god.
Liz Moorehead:
What am I about to get myself into?
George B. Thomas:
Yeah. What roller coaster am I on for this morning? Yeah. Exactly. Exactly.
Liz Moorehead:
Well, let's dig right into this conversation today. Because today, we're talking about weathering the storm and probably one of my favorite turns of phrase that I've come up with in the past couple of years, which is end radical acts of stillness. Yes. So, folks, what we're talking about today is the fact that when we think about possessing a growth mindset or adopting an owner's mentality in your own life or a victor mentality, things that we talk a lot about on beyond your default. I think we all make the understandable assumption that those mindsets involve focusing on our lives in a way that is productive.
Liz Moorehead:
It is proactive. It emphasizes an importance of taking accountability, taking ownership, ownership, and taking the reins in your own life. And it reminds me of a couple of quotes, right, that we think about. Like one of my favorite maxims that I've heard, and we've all heard this, is the only thing necessary evil for triumph is for good men to do nothing, or the only thing worse than failure is never trying or never doing something, or Theodore Roosevelt's quote of the only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything. But the question we're really getting into today, George, is whether or not being pro active and busy and productive always, is that really always the best course of action, especially in those moments where the proverbial ish hits the fan.
Liz Moorehead:
You know what I mean? Yeah. So you were beside yourself, George. Literally, when we got off the mic last week and you asked me to remind you what we were talking about this week and I reminded you we were talking about radical acts of stillness, I watched you physically bounce up and down in your chair with excitement. And I wanna hear why.
Liz Moorehead:
Why are you so excited this week?
George B. Thomas:
Yeah, Liz. I am actually really excited. So first, I've chosen this podcast journey not to be overly spiritual. So I just have to lay that out there. Like, on purpose, I want this to be something that a lot of people can listen, learn, and go from.
George B. Thomas:
But I'm a spiritual guy, and I've always loved and maybe maybe love. I love that word, but maybe it's better stated that I found comfort in scripture that is Psalms 4610. And Psalms 4610 says, be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth.
George B. Thomas:
And the words be still are represented about 7 times in the Bible depending on the translation that you're reading, Liz. But if we extrapolate this idea of be still or being still, we should start to think about terms like be silent or take rest. Right? And I have to ask you right now as you listen to this podcast, how hard is it to be silent or be in silence in our world today? With all the bells and dings and streaming and silence or being silent is super difficult, especially in a a world where it's go go go go.
George B. Thomas:
Hustle. Hustle. Yeah. You can make it. You can do anything.
George B. Thomas:
And in a world where most of us humans complain about not having enough time oh, time flies. Where'd the time go? Oh, I can't believe it's already February 2024. Well, then how powerful is rest when you're living in that world? Now that's the first part.
George B. Thomas:
But second, when we're doing this because and I'm excited about this. And by the way, this is the vulnerable part of me right here. I've had glimpses glimpses of this in my life, but I was excited because I wanna dig deeper. I wanna unlock more. And and out of all the episodes, that we've done so far because I want the research.
George B. Thomas:
I want the time. Like, we invest time in creating these episodes, which means we're investing time in ourselves so that we can invest the time in others. And so I was just, like, super excited. And and here's the thing. Gandhi said there's more to life than increasing its speed.
George B. Thomas:
Really? Somebody should let the rest of the world know that because I think people have forgotten this because it's about fast, fast, fast. Everything around us, Liz, screams go, go, go, not slow, slow, slow. Our modern society simply doesn't promote this kind of, and I love the word that you use, radical behavior. Right?
George B. Thomas:
Radical behavior in these radical moments of silence or stillness. As I was doing this and thinking about this in the research, Liz, have you ever have you ever driven in the mountains? Yes. Yeah. Okay.
George B. Thomas:
So, listeners, I hope you've driven in the mountains because when you're driving in the mountains, it's a whole different new experience. You're praying to God that there's guardrails in many of the situations when you're driving in mountains. And there's this thing called switchbacks because, you know, it's a and a left and a right When
Liz Moorehead:
you're zigzagging up the mountain. Yeah.
George B. Thomas:
Yep. And here's the thing. What I want you to think about is if you've ever driven in a mountain scenario, you've prayed to God that there was, you know, guardrails on there. When we're headed up that type of mountain path to a life beyond our default, we have times that we're gonna need to slow down. We're gonna have times that we're gonna need to be still we may need to look at a map We may need to strategize.
George B. Thomas:
We may need to refuel for the rest of the journey. But if we only go go go go, ladies and gentlemen, we might drive completely off the road and crash right back down to where we started, where we were stuck. And listen, I don't wanna crash. I'm sure you don't wanna crash. Listeners, I don't want you to crash.
George B. Thomas:
So, Liz, why this topic excited me? I was excited for the unpacking of what I've learned, the education of new ideas, tips, tricks, mindsets of just being able to be still, be silent, get this deeper version of rest. The future thought of rest and being silent and sitting still, just being still knowing he is god. And, Liz, you even talked about in the beginning there. You you mentioned take the reins.
George B. Thomas:
And I'm like, Jesus, take the wheel. Like, listen. Tesla self driving car. Right? Imagine if you had a self driving life because you were taking time to be still.
George B. Thomas:
You're taking time to recharge you're taking time and letting the realization of there's something that's gonna navigate you along the path that you need to be on for life. Liz, this is why I'm excited.
Liz Moorehead:
I love that. You know, one of my favorite things about this topic for me personally is that this is probably one of the lessons particularly in the past year or so that I have learned, quote, unquote, the hard way, and it's had the most rewards out of it. You know, we have a lot of conversations about everything under the sun. We've talked about fear. We've talked about forgiveness.
Liz Moorehead:
We've talked about self compassion. We've talked about the importance of relationships. But I share your excitement in this because I think sometimes particularly in personal growth and development circles. And we touched upon this a little bit last week. Like, we're all looking for some sort of formula, blueprint, process, framework, and we offer those up on this podcast every single week.
Liz Moorehead:
But I think sometimes we get stumped when the answers are so simple. It can't just be that. You can't are you telling me it's just shutting my flippin' mouth and sitting still for 5 minutes? Like, really? Really?
Liz Moorehead:
No. I think that's what stymies us. And I think also it's it's the balance that causes us a lot of challenges. You know? Lack of moderation in anything is always gonna be problematic, and that includes, quote, unquote, productivity.
Liz Moorehead:
That includes, quote, unquote, taking the reins. That includes, quote, unquote, constantly moving and grooving and shaking and doing all of the things and the stuff. But let's start our conversation in another open and vulnerable place, George. I wanna hear about a time when you learned the hard way that action isn't always the best course of action. And what were the consequences?
George B. Thomas:
Yeah. Without a doubt. First of all, let me just put out there the fact that you used stumped and stymied on this podcast episode is actually And
Liz Moorehead:
it's not even 9 AM.
George B. Thomas:
I mean Good
Liz Moorehead:
for us.
George B. Thomas:
Come on. But back to your question. So by the way, I learned a lot of things the hard way. I swear to god. I don't I don't know why, but, man, I do know why.
George B. Thomas:
I'm hard headed. I'm stubborn. So the story that I'm a tell, it was early in my career, and I may have told this on previous episodes of the podcast. I don't remember. But I think if you're a first time listener, you're gonna get value out of this, and it does definitely go with this conversation that we're having today.
George B. Thomas:
And it was early in my career. And, Liz, I was really focused on becoming great. Great at who I was, great at what I was doing, great in the eyes of others. And if I paint this picture, it was like hustle your face off. I was watching a lot of Gary v.
George B. Thomas:
I was working for Marcus Sheridan. I was doing a ton of trainings each week. We were doing workshops. I was flying over the planet speaking, and we had started to put together this idea of a HubSpot intensive workshop. And we were gonna, like, get people to come to a location.
George B. Thomas:
And I was trying to get all, like, the catering and the hotel, and then nobody bought tickets. I had spent $12,000 of a deposit for I have never told this story, by the way. I spent $12,000 in hotel deposits. Nobody signed up. I'm hustling my face off.
George B. Thomas:
I'm focused on being the greatest HubSpot trainer on planet Earth and a professional speaker, and all of that came crashing down because I had what would be maybe a a heart attack or a mini stroke. They said that it was neither during the time frame, but, you know, this is the story where I'm in my closet. I'm sweating profusely. My daughter walks in and says, daddy, I don't want you to die. And I'm like, I'm not gonna go anywhere.
George B. Thomas:
But EMS got there. My blood pressure was through the roof. And here's where the being still, getting some rest, learning the hard way comes in is as they were wheeling me out to the ambulance. I looked back at my life, and I said, I don't have time for this. I've got a meeting in 10 minutes.
George B. Thomas:
And my wife let me sit in the hospital for 3 and a half days, and she wouldn't bring me a computer, and she wouldn't bring me my phone. She came and visit me at least even though I was stupid as all get out with that comment.
Liz Moorehead:
It's a miracle she can kill you and finish the job.
George B. Thomas:
Oof. But when you have three and a half days to sit in a hospital and do nothing and not be able to be in your natural environment and literally have a detox of everything that you thought was important in life. That's a whole different level of being still. That's a whole different level of rest. That's the ability to look at your life and say, what the freak am I doing?
George B. Thomas:
And what do I wanna do when I move forward? And I'll be honest with you. That moment in time, the three and a half days was one of the dramatic catalyst moments of my life where I started to realize, I should probably start to tell my stories. I should probably share the things that have been happening along the way.
Liz Moorehead:
Oh my god. Okay. Can we point out can we point out the fact that in those three and a half days, your immediate lesson was, maybe I should slow down. It was, how can I create content out of this? I just wanna point that out.
Liz Moorehead:
I think that's adorable, and this is why we love you.
George B. Thomas:
But here's the thing. Like, I did change. Right? And and I want people to realize out of that stillness, there was an understanding. Out of that stillness, there was a change because in that stillness, there was reflection.
George B. Thomas:
Just pack that in your brain because I purposely used the words in and out of. In the time that was spent, out came the things. But yeah, three and a half days very hard lesson and still on my medical record it they it, it says that I had a mini stroke, but like I was like, no. I was told that I didn't have a heart attack or a stroke, so I don't know what you guys are talking about right now. Every time I talk to a doctor, this ends up coming up as a thing.
Liz Moorehead:
So strange. You know, what I find fascinating about your story is it reminds me of something. Somebody very smart told me this, and, of course, that means I can't remember who told me this.
George B. Thomas:
I love that.
Liz Moorehead:
Whoever you are, universal smart person. Thank you. It reminds me that often those moments will come after you have ignored blatantly obvious warning signs where life or the universe or your body or whomever it is that you believe in has repeatedly raised a red flag and said, hey. You need to take a break. And you just go blowing by like, hey.
Liz Moorehead:
I got ish to do. I gotta keep going. I gotta keep moving. Here's what will happen. They will come collect.
Liz Moorehead:
So sometimes it behooves us to take breaks of our own volition
George B. Thomas:
Yes.
Liz Moorehead:
Before the universe smashes the brakes on our behalf, and then we don't have a choice, which I find fascinating. So let's talk about a time, though, when you finally put stillness into action proactively and how that went.
George B. Thomas:
Yeah. I love that you leaned into this like a time when I finally did it because it has been, like, a lesson along the way. And like I said at the beginning, like, of this episode, I feel like I'm still working on this. So is it stuck? Do I put it in action?
George B. Thomas:
Kind of. Right? I'll be honest with you, and I'm gonna kinda merge a couple things together. Preowning a business. One of the reasons I loved going on cruises is because I could break my phone.
George B. Thomas:
K? Meaning, I could almost detox for the 3, 5, or 7 days that we are on a cruise. Heck. Even this latest cruise, Liz, I took my as a business owner, I took my laptop because I told everybody I'm gonna be checking emails in the morning and in the evening, and I have my computer if needed. I check my emails in the morning and the evening on my phone as almost just a filtering the junk out because I'll get to the stuff that when I get back home.
George B. Thomas:
And a dirty little secret is I never took my laptop out of my bag. I never looked at
Liz Moorehead:
it once. Sly dog.
George B. Thomas:
I never took it out once. Now that's surface level. So the question really is, like, when did you finally put stillness in, or how do you put stillness in your life? This might sound simple or basic or not important to some. I hope you can understand what was going on in the moment as I tell this story.
George B. Thomas:
On the last cruise, same one that I didn't take my laptop out of the bag. One of the ports that we went to was Saint Kitts. And in Saint Kitts, we did this tour where they were driving us around in jeeps, and we got to this toppest of top mountains at Saint Kitts. And we got to walk up this mountain, and there's a home that's up there, and you can overlook the valley. And there's a, you know, a group of us there, and we're on the deck of this house, and we're overlooking the valley.
George B. Thomas:
And the guy's doing a shtick, and it starts to rain. I walk away from the crowd. I go over to the side of the house. Now they're under the decking where they're not getting rained on. I go off the deck over to the side of the house and stand in the grass that is there.
George B. Thomas:
And I open my arms up, and I look up at the sky out to this valley, and I just let it rain on me. I think about the view that I'm seeing, and I think about the feeling of the rain falling on me and the refreshing refreshness of it. And I think about the of being able to even be in that space and time. And while everybody else is worried about that it's raining and they're running back to the Jeep, and there's probably multiple people in that group that are like, oh, our trip's ruined. It that why did it have to rain today?
George B. Thomas:
I'm in the moment. I'm being still. I'm reflecting on the life that has gotten me to the point where I could even be there with my entire family and my mom and my stepdad and just and I'm thanking. I'm thanking, like, in the moment, the universe in the moment. And so, like, it doesn't have to be this ultra programmed every morning for 30 minutes.
George B. Thomas:
It doesn't have to be this, like, regimented you know? You don't have to feel guilty. It was just I felt that this is what I wanted and should do. I listened, and I went and did it. And that was the moment.
George B. Thomas:
That was the silence. That was the rest. That was the refuel on the mountain of Saint Kitts in a tropical jungle, rain falling down, and enjoying every freaking moment of it. What about you, Liz? Was there a time when you finally put stillness into your life?
Liz Moorehead:
Yes. It's very different from yours. So I think we're gonna be providing a nice spectrum here. We didn't share what stories we were gonna be talking about. So I'm going in a completely different direction.
George B. Thomas:
I love it.
Liz Moorehead:
Well, 2 things are true about me. Number 1, I am the poster child of, wow. That hot stove looks hot. I should touch it again. Like, I'm definitely that girl.
Liz Moorehead:
There's nothing more I love than a hard lesson learned. I am hard headed. I am obstinate. I am stubborn. Like, it is it is baked into my DNA.
Liz Moorehead:
That is one part of me. But there is another part of me that if I listen to my intuition, I know not when to put my foot on the gas. I think the most important thing I've gotten good at is learning to take my foot off when I'm not supposed to be doing something. Have you ever seen The Truman Show, George?
George B. Thomas:
Oh, yes.
Liz Moorehead:
So one of my favorite things about that movie is the scene where Truman is starting to wonder what lies beyond. And the production studio is like, well, we can't have him doing that. So all of these weird things start happening. Right? All of a sudden, the street gets a little more crowded, the bridge catches on fire, There's a freak accident.
Liz Moorehead:
Like, there are all of these weird things were on their own. I guess they make sense, but there so many things are happening all at once for his path to become blocked that it makes no sense for him to go. Now in the context of Truman, they were blocking his escape and he needed to push through and, like, do the thing. And that's what he did. Spoiler alert if you haven't seen this movie from 1997 or whenever it was.
Liz Moorehead:
I'm so sorry. I've broken your cinematic.
George B. Thomas:
Go watch it if anyway.
Liz Moorehead:
Go it's great. I've noticed, however, that there are moments in life where if things kinda start piling up, I'm going against a current in a way that I'm not supposed to be going. So I'll give you an example. Last year, you know, we've talked about my divorce and all of that stuff last year. There were a lot of things that happened all at once.
Liz Moorehead:
And I made the decision, I am not gonna make any permanent life decisions right now. I'm not gonna do it. I am going to stay focused on my business. I am not gonna make choices where I'm locked into any sort of long term lease. I am not making any big choices right now because one of the biggest lessons I had to learn last year as someone who is learning her own identity for the first time, somebody who is connecting with herself for the first time, someone who spent most of her life making decisions about things based on what she thought other people wanted.
Liz Moorehead:
So I got to the point where I would look in the mirror and I didn't know if I was wearing an outfit because I actually wanted to or if it was somehow influenced by what I thought other people wanted for me. Like, I was in a pretty bad spot. And so I chose that act of prolonged stillness where, you know, I was still moving forward day to day. I was making day to day decisions, but I had intentionally opted out of making anything permanent, and it bothered a lot of people. You know, I made the decision to temporarily relocate to Connecticut just so I was in a neutral space where I could heal, but I wouldn't tell people where I was going to be permanently staying.
Liz Moorehead:
I wouldn't tell people what I had planned for later that year. People were shocked that most of my things were still in storage. Like, I decided to live in a state of complete neutrality while I focused on healing, while I focused on trauma counseling, while I focused on relearning how to make healthy decisions for myself. So why did I bring up the Truman Show? This is where it gets really fascinating.
Liz Moorehead:
So, again, do I like hot stove touching? A 100%. But I've gotten very good at noticing when things crop up and I'm supposed to wait a little So last October around my birthday, you remember this, or I started feel I started coming back alive again. I started feeling like myself again, but also for the first time. And I remember I told you when we were having one of our human time conversations, like, alright.
Liz Moorehead:
Sad girl summer's over. Time to start getting back in the saddle. Time to start making decisions again. Let's do this. And I thought, you know what?
Liz Moorehead:
I think I'm probably gonna stay up here in Connecticut. I think that's probably what I'm gonna be doing. So I go out there into the world and I start trying to get an apartment. In theory, not something that should be difficult. I had the money, I had the credit score.
Liz Moorehead:
Everything was fine. Three times in a row, I put down a deposit on an apartment and get a phone call 3 days later. Oh, so sorry. We this apartment was actually already rented out. You shouldn't have been able to see it.
Liz Moorehead:
Not once, not twice, thrice. Like what? Fine. I guess I'll go to a complex. So I go and look at a complex.
Liz Moorehead:
Everything is available except what I need, and what I need will not be available for another 3 to 4 months. Fine. I'll go to the asshole tiny town that I lived in the first time when I lived in Connecticut, and I will just get an apartment so, by god, I can have my own space again because I've been doing a short term rental in downtown New Haven near Yale. Oh, we have something available. Just kidding.
Liz Moorehead:
We don't. We do have something available though, but it's double the price of what you're looking to pay. I'm starting to get frustrated, and it's getting to the point where I'm like, I just need something. And then finally, I went, you're Truman. Oh, and then all of a sudden, my intuition, which had been screaming at me for a few weeks, was like effing finally, you're paying attention.
Liz Moorehead:
And I had this overwhelming sense of, wait, there is an opportunity coming. You do not have all the information. And I had this weird moment where I went, by the end of New Year's Day, I'm gonna know what I'm gonna do. New Year's Day, I traveled down to Maryland. I'm hanging out with some very dear friends of mine, John and Kathleen Booth.
Liz Moorehead:
Oddly enough, I said yes to a run on New Year's Day that I would have never done had I not started pouring energy back into myself. Because one of the things I'd really been focusing on was my health, especially at the end of last year. So because I was in better shape, I ended up on this run. I got an apartment offer in downtown Annapolis, the place I swore I was probably never gonna move back to because of what happened. And all of a sudden, within 2 hours of New Year's Day, a completely organic conversation that I could not have foreseen occurred in which I was given 3 different opportunities and I felt my intuition go, this is what you were waiting for.
Liz Moorehead:
You did not have all the facts. And so it was this weird thing where it's like I needed to take the time to heal in order to make sound decisions for myself. And I ended up surprising myself by realizing it was time for me to go home, that it wasn't time for me to rebuild in a brand new place. And then because I waited and listened to my intuition, I could have forced myself into a lease somewhere. Like, there is no possible way that every single apartment in the state of Connecticut would have like, I would have found something, my pig headed self would have found something.
Liz Moorehead:
But because I stuck to it, I ended up making the one decision I never thought I would make. And I'm incredibly happy that I'm doing it. So that's my story.
George B. Thomas:
I have to unpack a couple things off of that before we move forward. So because just the way my brain works. I heard you were trying to make a decision without the data. Mhmm. And I also heard Jesus take the wheel.
George B. Thomas:
Like, in that story,
Liz Moorehead:
I'm like,
George B. Thomas:
oh my god. The stream that you're supposed to be going down, the car that is trying to drive you to your destination. But more importantly than both of those, I heard you say these words first time. And listeners, if you have to rewind it, probably 3 to 5 times, Liz, you said the words first time. And I just want you to know that that is so powerful, and I'm so proud of you.
George B. Thomas:
Because anytime that you can realize that it's something that you're changing for the first time around or about you and how you believe in yourself or the direction that you're willing to take yourself, it's just powerful, and I'm proud of you. The other thing I have to unpack is you said the word intuition. Listeners, I have to ask you a question when it comes to intuition. Do you hear it? Do you listen for it?
George B. Thomas:
And if and when you can hear it, do you take action on what you heard? Or are you living a life right now that you Spotify, Netflix, or the next air quotes greatest thing out of your life? Because intuition is super powerful, and you can get more in tune with your intuition when you do what we're talking about today, and that's taking the time to be still. So being still, getting the rest, being silent, there's that option. Or I'll ask you again to reflect on life.
George B. Thomas:
Are you on the treadmill of life but going nowhere important? Maybe it's time to be still.
Liz Moorehead:
I love the intuition comment that you made. And it's so funny. You brought up spirituality at the beginning of this, and I know our listeners, we have a global audience that is, what, across 25 different countries, I think?
George B. Thomas:
On 30 2 now, by the way.
Liz Moorehead:
Oh, that's exciting. Folks who are listening right now, we understand that you come from a cross section of cultures and spiritual identities or secular identities. And that's something that should be celebrated, and we love that, which is also why I wanna share this. When some people hear intuition, they think of that as their connection with God, or they think of it as something more spiritual or second. I haven't decided yet.
Liz Moorehead:
And I say this as someone who is spiritual. Like, I'm Catholic. I go to church. I do all these things, but I haven't decided what my intuition is. So if you haven't decided either, might I suggest you take up my moniker, which is the inner cupcake.
Liz Moorehead:
She is squirrely. She is loud. Because it was so funny when you said, do you listen to your intuition? The reason why I made a face when you asked that question is that when I actually got in touch with my intuition, I started feeling it physically within my body. Yep.
Liz Moorehead:
When I when I have moments where my intuition is yelling at me, I usually feel it emanating from my gut, which is why I call it cupcake. The baked goods reside there.
George B. Thomas:
Mhmm.
Liz Moorehead:
I just feel this, like, big surge within my body of, like, bitch, you aren't listening. Pay attention. No. Stop it. Anyway, I just thought that was funny.
George B. Thomas:
Yeah. By the way, if I use the Jesus takes the wheel or if you listen retroactive and think about the times listen. I don't care if you think about Yahweh or Carrie Underwood. I'm just saying, Jesus, take the wheel, whichever. Alright.
George B. Thomas:
Let's move on.
Liz Moorehead:
So question for you. What is the difference between purposeful stillness and immobilized passivity that's gonna bite you in the ass later on because knowing the difference is critical.
George B. Thomas:
Yeah. This this was, like, one of those scary questions. Sometimes you'll throw, like, 1 or 2 of the scary questions in there. But listen. Purposeful stillness, 1, it's proactive.
George B. Thomas:
2, it's a beneficial practice. And and it's beneficial and proactive, and it enhances our mental clarity as humans, leans into emotional well-being of ourselves, selves leading to better decision making and actions as we move forward. K? I'll talk about that, and I'll take more of that in my life all day every day, by the way. If I can be proactive, beneficial, enhance my mental clarity, focus on my emotional well-being, yep, give me all of that all the time.
George B. Thomas:
In contrast, Liz, when we were talking about this immobilized passive passivity? Holy macro. And I do podcast, people.
Liz Moorehead:
You're welcome.
George B. Thomas:
Yes. Thanks for those, that tongue twister. Retroactive state of inaction. Retro proactive, reactive, retroactive, right, which can lead to negative outcomes and hinder personal growth and productivity. Well, last time I checked, this is a personal growth podcast.
George B. Thomas:
Since we're here on a personal growth podcast, I'd say that's gonna be a no for me, dawg. Like, I'm not trying to do the second. I'll take the first, please. More of that. Not to mention, I'm a big fan of productivity.
George B. Thomas:
Now remember I mentioned this is a scary part scary question. Here's the fun part. How do we have productivity and stillness together? That's where my brain went. I'm like, well, that's interesting.
George B. Thomas:
I mean, is that even possible to have productivity and stillness together versus the go go go bull in a china closet, go fast and break stuff most of us actually subscribe to in our professional and personal lives, but we'll dig a little bit deeper. How do you know you haven't fallen into this immobilized passivity, but instead have actively achieved purposeful stillness? K. So there are a couple of things. 1, purposeful stillness is intentional and conscious.
George B. Thomas:
It's a deliberate choice that you're making. It involves actively deciding to pause and engage in moments of quiet. Saint Kitts, I actively paused and engaged in moment of quiet reflection meditation. It's about creating space for mental clarity, emotional calm, and rejuvenation. Powerful stillness is about being productive and beneficial.
George B. Thomas:
This type of stillness, when we implement in our life, is used as a tool for personal growth, stress reduction, and enhanced decision making. I'm sitting in the hospital for three and a half days. I had some personal growth. I had to do some stress reduction because my freaking blood pressure was out the roof. I had some enhanced decision making because I knew what I wanted to do when when and if I got out of that hospital room.
George B. Thomas:
It often leads to increased creativity, better problem solving abilities, and improved mental health. Purposeful stillness is about dynamic and engaging or being dynamic. Even though it involves being still, it's a mentally active state. You might be reflecting, contemplating, practicing mindfulness. It's about being present in the moment and engaging with your inner self.
George B. Thomas:
I'm pretty sure we might have done a podcast that talks about that. And, also, last but not least here, it leads to a positive action. Purposeful stillness often precedes or enhances actions. It's used to gain insight and clarity, which then informs and improves the future actions and decisions that you'll make. Now if you take that list and you use it as your guardrails, like when we're going up that mountain pass, if you're not feeling or seeing those things, ladies and gentlemen, you might be in the trap of immobilized passivity.
George B. Thomas:
Just saying.
Liz Moorehead:
I love that. The thing that immediately came to mind when you posited that question of is there such a thing as productive stillness? My answer is yes. Because immediately what came to mind is one of the lessons that involved a few roundabouts with a hot stove that has now stood me in good stead is just because you know something doesn't mean you need to do something. And just because you think you know something doesn't mean you know everything.
George B. Thomas:
That's a life master class right there.
Liz Moorehead:
Again, these are lessons I'm continuing to learn over and over and over again. Of course, it's productive. I think we have to remove the illusions of what we believe productivity to be because I think when we think of productivity, we think of the expending of energy. We think movement. We think activity.
Liz Moorehead:
We think we think the proof of productivity instead of what is actually productive. I mean, think about the most powerful civil rights movements in our country and in others. They came from acts of stillness. They came from acts of nonviolence. They came from acts of non reactivity.
Liz Moorehead:
We make the most powerful and loud statements when we do not react. That's why I love this idea of radical acts of stillness. You can have the loudest revolutions, the loudest voice in the room by not being the one who engages loudly, by not allowing forces around you to force action. Making decisions from a place of purpose instead of I mean, think about the conversation we had. I can't remember if it was last week's episode or the or the episode prior.
Liz Moorehead:
Forgive me. But we talked about the idea of how we joke feelings aren't facts unless they are. Right? The challenge of sitting with uncomfortable feelings. The reason why we talked so much about the ability to sit with uncomfortable feelings is that because in the moment when those feelings arise in our body, we are having a reaction and we don't necessarily understand why.
Liz Moorehead:
I'm feeling angry. Well, why are you feeling angry? And taking the time to sit down and unpack what is actually happening within ourselves. Or maybe it's more circumstantial like the experience I shared earlier. I was being still in some ways.
Liz Moorehead:
Right? I was being still in that I wasn't making big life decisions. I wasn't choosing where to live, but I was also doing a lot of self work. I was going to therapy and lots of it. I was trying to wake up every morning and learn how to breathe in and out every day without feeling like the sky was falling.
Liz Moorehead:
I was in a lot of pain. So often stillness in one area of our life allows us to be active in an underserved area or something different. So question for you. What are you doing internally? I know you started talking about this a little bit, but I'd love to get more into the internal machinations here.
Liz Moorehead:
What are you doing doing through your during your times of stillness? What purpose have you found inaction serves for you?
George B. Thomas:
Yeah. The thing before I answer that that we have to understand that moments of stillness because, again, people may just immediately jump knee jerk reaction to something. A moment of stillness could be 30 seconds. A moment of stillness could be 30 minutes. A moment of stillness could be 3 hours.
George B. Thomas:
So just realize when I talk about these, there's these micro versions and there's these macro versions of being still and what's happening in them. And I'm pretty sure that I'll share another story along the way when we get there. But to answer your question, Liz, usually, I'm thinking because there's nothing else to do. There's no bebop boops. There's no TV streaming.
George B. Thomas:
There's no music on. I'm just, like, in my brain. So I'm thinking. Now I'm thinking about things like, did that just happen, or did that happen the way I thought it did, or is that thing that historically happened actually actually impacting me today? Or I'm thinking forwardly like a 30 second micro version of this is, did she really just say that to me?
George B. Thomas:
I wanna punch her in the face, but maybe that's not the best thing that I should do. Maybe that's not the thing I should say. And so there's the proactive, like, a moment of silence, Ladies and gentlemen, you've heard this of count to 10. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Like, a moment of silence before you actually make that knee jerk reaction as you move forward.
George B. Thomas:
Many times when it's a moment of silence and, again, could be 30 seconds, could be 30 minutes. I'm probably praying. Lord, give me the wisdom. Give me the power. Give me the peace that passes all understanding.
George B. Thomas:
Show me the direction. Am I supposed to turn left or right here? I'm actively seeking for advice from the universe or saying thank you. Like, hey. Listen.
George B. Thomas:
We did an episode on being a blessing bomber. I've been being a blessing bomber, and I have been being blessed. So there needs to be moments of just, like, thank you. Many times, I'm dreaming, meaning I haven't fallen asleep, and I'm taking a hearty nap. I mean, I'm dreaming.
George B. Thomas:
Like, what could be next? What is possible? Where could we go? And I'm just thinking about the future, and I'm dreaming. And I'll use the word scheming, but in all the possible ways that it could be a positive statement.
George B. Thomas:
More times than not, I'm probably practicing. And this is something I picked up. I think I was, like, 10 or 11 years old. I was watching a show, or it might have been my dad that was telling me this. I can't remember exactly where it came from, but I remember the story of them talking about is it Olympics, and it was downhill, ski jump, the ski jump thing where the guys just fly forever, and, like, they're leaning over their skis.
George B. Thomas:
And they would talk about how they would sit there, and they would envision the jump and practice the jump and envision the jump meaning practicing in their brain. Like, they would see themselves going down the slope. They would see the takeoff from the jump. They would see themselves leaning over their skis because they would make it mentally perfect. They would practice it in their brain.
George B. Thomas:
I don't know what it was, but I just grabbed onto that. And I started running scenarios and practicing things in my brain before I even got to the thing. The amount of times I practice a talk before I get on stage, It's probably obnoxious to most humans, but, like, I'm in there in my brain, like, thinking about it. Many times, I'm listening. I'm listening for that intuition.
George B. Thomas:
I'm listening for that still small voice. I'm listening for how do I really feel or think about a thing. And, Liz, there's other times where I'm just accepting. I'm accepting who I am. I'm accepting where I'm at, whatever it is.
George B. Thomas:
And so, literally, those are kind of the mixed bag of, like, thinking, praying, dreaming, practicing, listening, accepting this thing that is life, this thing that is the journey, this thing that we're all on. That's what happens in my brain. I know it's weird, but, Liz, what about your brain? Like, when
Liz Moorehead:
you get intentional and you're having these moments of stillness
George B. Thomas:
or silence, like, what's
Liz Moorehead:
I really wanna applaud you for pointing out something really important there, which is the distinction of you know, you and I have been talking about prolonged moments of stillness. In in some cases, in my example, months long. Yeah. But there are also these micro moments. So the reason why I wanna point that out is to answer your question.
Liz Moorehead:
We've talked about this before. I have a daily meditation practice that I'm trying to do better with. I'm working on it. You know, we're baby stepping. We're doing the work.
Liz Moorehead:
But one of the reasons why that practice is so important to me, it's one of the reasons why even if I'm not perfect at it, I will never give it up. Like, I have been at the very least meditating 4 to 5 times a week for almost a year. And the reason why is because I couldn't even begin to tap into the power of stillness until I was just able to sit with my own thoughts. And that's one of probably the most productive things that comes out of these moments of stillness for me because if we're taking us out of the examples that I've given so far where it's like these are very circumstantial, what was the purpose of that prolonged moment of stillness? Healing, ladies and gentlemen.
Liz Moorehead:
Healing and learning to look in the mirror and see myself and not just a big pile of trauma. Right? That was the purpose of that one. But if we're talking about the day to day, really developing a practice, it's like running. It's like lifting weights.
Liz Moorehead:
Stillness in a way is its own muscle that you have to cultivate and flex and strengthen because if you have spent so much of your life running and running and running the way I had, I didn't know how to sit still because every time I sat still and alone with my thoughts, I was effing terrified. That was how I ended up building a life that I thought was perfect on paper but was actually a prison. I stopped listening to my feelings. I stopped being willing to listen to my intuition because anytime it got still, what it was telling me was freaking out. My intuition for years was screaming at me like the call is coming from inside the house.
Liz Moorehead:
Something is very wrong. Everything is wrong. But I would double down and double down and double down and be productive. And so much of it was because I did not have that daily practice of learning of just how to sit with my feelings and not be scared of them and not be afraid.
George B. Thomas:
Yeah. I like, I'm literally getting a mental thing of, like, oh, man. You have to get the witches, the goblins, and the cobwebs out of your brain. Like, ladies and gentlemen, are you, oof, are you able to be your own safe space? Like, if you take nothing else from this podcast, if you are not able to be your own safe space, then you need radical moments of stillness and silence.
George B. Thomas:
And get the broom out. Get the mop out. Call freaking Ghostbusters. Whatever you got a therapy, by the way. That's Ghostbusters.
George B. Thomas:
Whatever you gotta do. If you're gonna go on this journey of beyond your default, you have to be able to be your own safe space.
Liz Moorehead:
So, George, how do you know when stillness is the right choice? So here's the thing. Stillness is great, but there are times where, like, if I were to ask you a question, George, and you're like, hold on a second. Gotta be still up here. George, We need to make a decision.
Liz Moorehead:
Like, that stillness is not always the right choice. So how do you know when it is?
George B. Thomas:
Well, this is where we bump into that when we've been talking about for the last, like, I don't know, over 45 minutes about stillness, that it's like, we're not talking about being laziness. We we didn't say radical laziness. We said radical stillness. And so knowing when stillness is the right choice often involves turning into your own mental, emotional, and physical cues, which based off of what you just heard and the goblins and the witches and the cobwebs, That's why I'm saying it's so important. And and, like, too, again, in episode 10, we talked about how important a relationship with knowing yourself is.
George B. Thomas:
Go back to that episode, episode 10. If you're like, yeah. I need the witches and goblins and cobwebs. Go away. Episode 10.
George B. Thomas:
Just go listen to it. But back to your question that was how do you know when stillness is a right choice. Are you feeling stressed or overwhelmed? Like, if you're in life feeling, like, high stress levels, feeling overwhelmed by what's happening or your thoughts, emotions, Listen. Stillness can provide a much needed break.
George B. Thomas:
It allows you to step back, clear your mind, and reduce that anxiety that might be like just knocking at the front door or the back door, either one. If you're in life and you are in a decision making moment, Like, we're talking really important decisions, especially, like, if you're feeling conflicted or uncertain about a decision that you need to make. A moment of stillness can help. It allows you to quiet the noise of external opinions and internal conflict enabling you to connect with your intuition. We've mentioned that already on this podcast, and make more grounded decisions.
George B. Thomas:
By the way, I realized I do a lot of fun things when I'm on ships because it was on a ship. It was on a cruise ship when I actually made one of the biggest decisions in my life, and that was to start a business. And I took half a day looking out a window, looking at the ocean with a notepad so that I could get rid of internal conflict. I could put at bay external opinions that I feel like family members would have of, like, you're leaving safety and security, and you're not gonna have a 401 k, and you, you how are you gonna have insurance? Like, decision making moment.
George B. Thomas:
I needed stillness. If you're physically or emotionally exhausted, yo, homie, take a break. It might help you recharge your energy, provide a sense of emotional balance. Because if you're, like, emotionally exhausted, you ain't making good or probably right decisions. I alluded to this when I said the count to 10 earlier, but, like, before reacting in conflict.
George B. Thomas:
In moments of conflict or high emotion, choose stillness before responding. Count to 10. Count to 20. But it can prevent the escalation, and it can lead to more thoughtful things that are probably better said than I hate you. You always do that to whatever it is.
George B. Thomas:
I don't know your arguments. You only know your arguments. Insert whatever you've usually heard or said in there. Actually, maybe the before, reacting conflict should have been the first one I mentioned. It maybe should have been the first one for some of the anyway, but at least we mentioned it here.
George B. Thomas:
If you're seeking personal growth, we're on a personal growth podcast for the 2nd time. I think I've said that. If you're on a personal development journey, regular stillness. This is why we talk about, you know, morning routines, and, we talked about just sitting there and actually being able to, like, use an app or be still, meditate. Right?
George B. Thomas:
Because we're on this personal growth journey. It allows us to assess our progress. How far have we come since 2013, since 2012, since whenever you started your journey? It helps us realign our goals where we're trying to actually get to in the future and acknowledge the areas of where we're coming from and where we're going and the the changes that are needed for our life. I don't know about you, Liz.
George B. Thomas:
I know this has happened in my life. Sometimes you just feel disconnected. It might come out like, man, things just aren't clicking quite right. You may have said that in your life, but if you feel disconnected from yourself, your environment, others, stillness can help foster a more profound sense of connection and presence. By the way, there are 7 of these.
Liz Moorehead:
I love you, and your list never change.
George B. Thomas:
The 7th one is listen. It might be a spiritual practice for you. And I'm not even saying a religious, but it could be religious. It could be spiritual. They are different.
George B. Thomas:
But for those engaging in spiritual practices, stillness is often essential for deepening one's spiritual journey, praying, listening, mindfulness, awareness of, like, the universe, the ecosystem, or whatever it is that happens to be around you. Being still or stillness is often the right choice when you need clarity, peace, rejuvenation, deeper connection with yourself, your surroundings, your journey, your creator, whatever it be. It's about listening to your body, mind, and spirit, and recognizing when pausing can be more beneficial than continuous action. Listen. I'm gonna say it.
George B. Thomas:
You don't always have to go go go. You don't have to always go go go.
Liz Moorehead:
George, you know this is recorded, and I can play this back to you. Right?
George B. Thomas:
I know. I know it. I'm gonna I should probably just put it on my soundboard. You don't have to always go go and just, like, play it every morning.
Liz Moorehead:
I love that. You know, this ties in very nicely to my next question, which is you don't always have to go go go, but at some point, you do have to start go go going again. You can't just be like, hold on. I'm in a purposeful act of stillness. George and Liz told me to be radically still.
Liz Moorehead:
Yes, ma'am. You have been radically still for months now. When do you know it's time to start taking action again? Because inaction, at some point, we must accept it as temporary. At some point, the you may move into another radical act of stillness.
Liz Moorehead:
That's fine. But at some point, you have to move from inaction to action in some way.
George B. Thomas:
Yeah. I think recognizing when it's time to make that transition point from stillness to action. It's like it's actually a crucial part of what we're talking about today. Because the stillness, whether they be daisy chained together or moments or days apart, they should be temporary, purposeful states, not just this, like, everlasting thing. I mean, in this case where my brain goes, is it being still is a setup for the future come up based on what we're doing or thinking about during that downtime.
George B. Thomas:
So to answer your question, like, I need clarity. Clarity emerges. Sweet. Move on. Start taking action on that clarity.
George B. Thomas:
You feel recharged because you were exhausted. Great. Now that you're refueled, ease on down that road, like, keep on going. We mentioned intuition a lot of times on this podcast, but if you get this intuitive nudge and you know it's just time to move on out and take action listen. I'd be remiss if I didn't say, like, you have freaking responsibilities.
George B. Thomas:
If responsibility calls and you've gotta get work done or your wife wants you to take the trash out or whatever the responsibility looks like, You just are setting yourself up for success. We're like
Liz Moorehead:
So are you telling me that if I show up to our weekly staff meeting and I'm like, George, I'm sorry. I didn't get this done. I was being purposefully still that probably won't fly.
George B. Thomas:
I mean, that'd be a very interesting conversation much like this podcast. But last last but not least, I'll just mention here, balance and rhythm. Mhmm. Listen. Life is a balance of action and inaction.
George B. Thomas:
Recognizing the natural rhythm or flow of this balance in your life can guide you when to switch between the 2. So, again, aligning yourself with just kind of understanding the whole Carrie Underwood Jesus take the real moment again, if you will. Intuition is powerful tool for personal and professional growth, especially when it's done purposefully and when it's used for reflection. However, the ultimate goal is to use the insights, the energy, and the clarity gained during stillness to inform and enhance the actions that you move forward. So all of this, by the way, being still should lead to something something known, something being done, and the transaction back to action feel natural, timely, guided both by internal awareness and your external circumstances if you take those five things that I mentioned and blend them all together.
Liz Moorehead:
It's funny. You know, I love the intuition thing and the fact that you brought that back up because the example that I really have of this here you know, I'll close a loop on a story that I started with last week, which was your girl, Liz, was prepping to ask someone out on a date. Yep. So what's interesting about that is that I had actually decided that I wanted to do that last year. I had decided I wanted to yep.
Liz Moorehead:
Right after my birthday in late October, I knew. I was like, oh, god. It's a very classic, like, he's been my friend for a really long time. He's the guy who's always been there. Like, all that stuff.
Liz Moorehead:
Right? And when I figured that out, I thought, oh my god. I need to tell him. So I actually saw him in November, and I was all prepared. I'm like, I'm gonna ask him today.
Liz Moorehead:
I'm gonna ask him today. And then as I was driving to his house to go see him, we're really close friends, and we hang out a lot. All of a sudden, my little inner cupcake was like, not today, bitch. Today is not the day. And everything my my body was like, no.
Liz Moorehead:
But I'm ready. I know I wanna do this. And she's like, you will not be doing this today. You will not be doing this today. And I show up, and I can't tell you like, there was nothing that happened that day that was particularly remarkable.
Liz Moorehead:
We had a great time hanging out like we always do. But when I got there, I was like, I'm not supposed to ask him today. And it turned out, for me at least, I realized and I see this now in hindsight. I had to do a little bit more baking personally. I had to do a little bit more of decision making for myself by myself.
Liz Moorehead:
There were still Liz things that needed to be done. It was hard for me because I walked out, and I said, he is a great guy. Waiting increases the risk that somebody else is gonna figure this out before I'm able to get this done, but it was the right call. And then last week, that little intuition bug woke up and went, okay now. I'm like, I'm moving back in, like, two and a half weeks.
Liz Moorehead:
Can I just wait? And she nope. We are going now. We're doing it live, folks. We are doing it right now.
Liz Moorehead:
And so I texted him and I said, this is not an emergency, but can you give me a call when you can? It was the same day that I mentioned it on the podcast because once I make a big scary decision, I have to tell people in order to hold myself accountable. And also it's usually a little litmus test of, if I say this out loud enough, does it feel right? Does it feel good? Does it like, it's almost like an intuition test in my gut of, like, is this the thing I should be doing right now?
Liz Moorehead:
And every part of my body was like, yes. Absolutely. You should be doing this. So I texted him. He called me a couple hours later.
Liz Moorehead:
The first time I asked him, I didn't get the words out correctly. So his reply was, what do you mean? I'm like, wait, what do you mean? No, I I am asking you out on a date. Would you like to go out on a date with me?
Liz Moorehead:
It was very abrupt and aggressive, which is me. He said yes. So it worked out.
George B. Thomas:
There you go.
Liz Moorehead:
But it was just kind of funny how that works out because I think to my own question of, like, how do you know when it's time to start taking action again, you will start to feel when you are deferring versus being purposefully still. You will have that nudge internally if you are listening for it and you know it's there. I think a lot of us know when we're supposed to be doing stuff. We just have to learn more how to do it scared. Okay.
Liz Moorehead:
I have a couple more questions before we wrap up this conversation. We could literally be sitting here all day talking about this, but there are 2 things I wanna get to before
George B. Thomas:
we wrap up.
Liz Moorehead:
1st, number 1, how do you handle it when folks react poorly to your choice to not take action Where they want a reaction or a decision out of you when you're not ready to give it?
George B. Thomas:
Yeah. Listen, handling any situation where others react poorly to your choice of inaction, especially when, like, they desire want for their purpose from you, It requires a blend of assertiveness, sticking to, like, nope, like, your your story. Nope. Not yet. Empathy and clear communication.
George B. Thomas:
So I'm gonna keep this very succinct. When I think about this, stay calm and centered. You are you. They are them. Just stay calm and centered.
George B. Thomas:
And when you're ready to move forward, move forward. When you do move forward, communicate clearly so people understand the thing that it is that you're trying to say. We did an episode on boundaries. Have those boundaries set, but if they're not set yet, set those boundaries around what you're willing or not willing to do, share, or take action upon. And bottom line is because they're still gonna kinda be, maybe hurt, dissatisfied, struggling, frustrated.
George B. Thomas:
Show empathy. Like, understand where they're at. Understand what they need, but also understand that you're gonna stay calm. You'll communicate it when you're ready, and you have your boundaries in place. That's the 4 things.
George B. Thomas:
That's it.
Liz Moorehead:
I love that. One of my favorite ways to handle this situation, because I'm a talker. No. Is that no. What are you talking about, Liz?
Liz Moorehead:
Oh my god. Are we surprised? Kelsey, my petite fromage. Anyway, one of the things I like to do, and this is something I think I said in the last episode in a in a different context, which is that if somebody's pushing you, advocate for yourself. I understand you are looking for an answer from me right now.
Liz Moorehead:
That is precisely what I want to do. And that this is language I've actually used, which is I know you are looking for a response from me right now. I empathize with the fact of how urgent this is or how important this is to you. And because I respect you and what you're asking of me, please understand that I am setting the conditions for me to give you a measured response, a thoughtful answer to your question. This is the time I need in order to do that.
Liz Moorehead:
And they either respect that or they don't. And you if they if they're still upset about it, then, you know, you say, hey. I get it. I can't give you what you're looking for right now, but I will. And as soon as I can, I will let you know?
Liz Moorehead:
I mean, the reality is you just need to tell people. You just need to do that. Alright. Final question, George.
George B. Thomas:
Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:
Why is learning to be still, learning how to allow moments to pass such a critical part of beyond your default journey?
George B. Thomas:
Yeah. So learning to be still and allowing moments to pass is a critical part of this beyond your default journey that we're all on for several reasons. And if you haven't had a notepad out this entire time, please, by all this
Liz Moorehead:
Now is the time.
George B. Thomas:
Now is the time. Number 1, by the way, we're gonna do 5 real quick so we can get you back to your regularly scheduled day. 1, enhance self awareness. Taking moments of stillness will foster deeper self awareness, and we've done podcast episodes on this. It helps us understand our true motivations fears desires often masked by the noise of our freaking busy lives.
George B. Thomas:
This understanding is crucial for personal growth, your personal growth and your choices and the choices that align with who we are as authentic humans. Number 2, cultivating mindfulness. Being still teaches mindfulness, the ability to be fully present in a moment. Turn your phone off, flip it over, throw it in the toilet. I don't care.
George B. Thomas:
Whatever you gotta do, be present in the moment. This skill, cultivating mind, this is essential in appreciating life and life's moments as it unfolds and making conscious choices rather than being swept away by life's constant stream of freaking activities, the beep bop boops, the red buttons that you gotta clear out. Number 3, emotional regulation. Stillness allows for the processing and regulation of our emotions. It provides a safe space to observe and understand our emotional responses without being overwhelmed, leading to a greater emotional intelligence, which by the way, dare I say, EQ might be more important than IQ and the ability for us to be resilient.
George B. Thomas:
Number 4, building patience and tolerance. Learning to be still and let moments pass develops patience and tolerance. It teaches the value of waiting and observing rather than impulsively needing control, sometimes the best action is no action. I feel like that's what we started this podcast with with one of your quotes Stillness teaches the power of nonaction, understanding that not every situation requires a response and that some circumstances resolve themselves with just a little bit of time. Listen.
George B. Thomas:
In the journey beyond your default stillness is not just about physical inactivity, but a profound mental and emotional practice. It's about stepping out of the autopilot mode of existence, knee jerk responses, and engaging with life's more consciously, thoughtfully, and authentically ways that we can as we navigate that mountain pass of switchbacks, praying that there's guardrails and we don't crash down because we're trying to live a life beyond our default.
