You may know Precious Brady-Davis as the first transgender woman who appeared on Say Yes to the Dress. You may have heard that Precious and her husband Myles, who's also transgender, gave birth to a now 19 month old daughter. Today, Precious gives us the inside scoop on her experiences growing up in rural Nebraska, her courage to transition, and becoming an inspiration to so many who don't want to be afraid to be themselves.
A weekly podcast delivering diverse insights and perspectives from global leaders in business, executive education and diversity & inclusion. Hosted by award-winning content creator, author, speaker, certified diversity executive and cofounder of The Diversity Movement, Jackie Ferguson.
Hi, and welcome to season four of the
Diversity Beyond the Checkbox Podcast.
Sponsored by the diversity movement.
I'm your host, Jackie
Ferguson equality advocate and
certified diversity executive.
On this show, we discuss how diversity,
equity and inclusion benefit our
workplaces, schools, and communities
by sharing the stories, insights,
and best practices of game changers,
leaders, and glass ceiling breakers
that are doing the work to make our
world a more understanding, welcoming
and supportive place for us all.
I'm so excited to have renowned and
groundbreaking, transgender activists,
Precious Brady Davis with us today to
talk about her journey and her new book.
I have always been.
Precious, will you please tell us
about your early years and how you got
to the pivotal moment of knowing that
it was time for you to transition?
Let's start there.
Hi Jackie.
Thank you so much for having
me on the podcast today course.
Wow.
My early journey growing up in
Omaha, Nebraska, I grew up a
child who was very resilient.
I was very optimistic.
For as long as I can remember,
I was outspoken in who I was,
even though I didn't have the
words to describe my identity.
I was being my authentic self.
And that's why the book is.
I have always been me, whether it was
walking in my sister's high heels, down
the hall of our home, whether it was
accidentally wearing my sister's shoes,
wearing my sister's shoes accidentally
to school ,wearing a dress at a drama
club party and through the momentous
activity of performing drag in college.
So drag was the first gateway for me to
be my authentic self in discovering my
womanhood, because I felt at the end of
the day, I didn't want to take it off.
Being Precious and being the, the
authenticity of, of my person, but
it took me many years after that,
before I could officially transition,
because I was weighed down with
a myriad of religious teachings.
That, that to me felt like.
If I were to transition that I would
be doing something out of God's will,
or that I would, would go to to hell.
Um, because you know, I was raised
and was ingrained with a myriad of
tropes surrounding the LGBTQ community.
Even when I did drag,
I kept it very light.
I kept like very light in terms of
like my music, because I said, oh,
I still wanted to be in God's will.
But ultimately after I graduated
college and in college, I was like
a very gender non-conforming and I
felt like I crept out of the closet,
little by little it started, you
know, I would wear heels around
campus, then I would start wearing
nails and then I would start wearing,
so it was like a gradual process,
but the thing about it was I didn't
have a label for what I was doing.
I was just being my authentic self
like I have my entire life, but after I
graduated college, I went to work at an
LGBTQ community center here in Chicago.
And after I started working at that
center cause I was male identified
when I started working there.
I saw this young girl, 16 years old,
coco skin, beautiful hair down her back.
It was a young trans girl.
And there I was to inspire the
young people to inspire them.
And there she was inspiring me and I
said, She goes to school like that?
And they're yeah, like
she is a young trans girl.
And that night as I walked back
to my desk, I said, I wish I
could be sitting here as Precious.
Um, and one of my coworkers leaned
over to me and said, why can't you?
And it was like that final moment.
I mean, that was a, probably a 10 year
journey, you know to get to that
point where I could release all of
the stigma that I had around the trans
community and all of the things that had
been ingrained in me from my childhood
about being feminine, you know, as
a child, I was extremely policed.
You know, my gender was of, wear your
watch on, you know, a different wrist.
Don't switch when you walk down
the aisle of a grocery store.
I didn't even know what that meant,
but for me it was that pivotal moment.
When I worked at the center on Halsted
when I saw these trans youth being the
authenticity of their person, it was, it
was like them holding up a mirror to me.
That's so amazing.
And you know, the title of your book,
I Have Always Been Me, and you talk
about being your authentic self, but
it's hard for a lot of us especially
those in the LGBTQ community to feel
comfortable in stepping into their
own skin and who they are fully
and being able to express that.
Can you tell me what gave you the
courage to move forward in that?
I will say that optimism is one
of my gifts and something that
I have possessed my entire life.
And I know that it's not easy for,
for everyone to pronounce their,
their authenticity, but I think
it's something that is ingrained
in my being that my whole life that
I have always been, been brave.
But I also think that it was because
it was such a policing of my behavior
as a child, uh, I grew up with a,
the generation before me was children
are to be seen and not heard.
And I always pushed back on that
of saying I deserve to be heard.
I deserve to be seen, I
deserve to take up space.
And so I think because my environment
was so constructed around me.
I was so focused on, on breaking the
mold of that, of creating a shinier
mold for one that was created for me.
And it indeed took courage
and I think for each of us to.
Stand in our authenticity,
it takes courage.
But for me, at many points in my
life, I didn't have the choice, you
know, uh, being raised in foster kid,
being raised as a foster kid, you're
often thrown into those situations.
And so I think for me, it
became a mechanism of survival.
And Precious you say that optimism is
one of your gifts and you're quoted
as having said, this is one of my
life's great gifts to be optimistic,
to see a world, not yet created.
What does a world not yet created?
What does that world look like for you?
What do you see for that?
A world not yet created for
me, it is, it is a safe space.
It is a world in which.
All people are included,
regardless of ability, faith,
gender, sexual orientation.
It is a place in which we can
all coexist and we can look aside
our differences and find our
shared humanity with one another.
And that is something that
I've been doing my entire life.
And that's goes, go back
to the title of my book.
I have always been me as a young
gender nonconforming kids showing up,
you know, I think about growing up in
Omaha, Nebraska, I'm from a red state.
Growing up.
My best friend was a kid
who had a disability.
You know, I am
left-handed, I am biracial.
And so being a part of so many
marginalized groups, I feel like
it has forced me to, to dream
a new, to, to create spaces
that were not created for me.
And so for me, it's about.
Creating a world that is safe regardless
of, of difference for all people.
I love that Precious.
And tell me from your perspective,
what's the one thing that, that we
can do for those of us listening
to step towards that new world?
I think the one thing that we
can do to stepping into that new
world that I, that I talk about
creating, is to stand in your truth.
It's about being you, it starts
with being authentic, this
connection that we're having today,
it's about bridging the divide.
It's about having conversation
about these issues.
And for me, especially as a trans
woman of color, I believe that walking
out of my door every day, is an act
of dignity is an act of bravery.
It's those small moments of bravery
that I think that each of us can take
to further diversity and authenticity.
That's incredible.
Thank you for sharing that Precious.
You were the first out trans gender
bride to be, to appear on the
show, Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta.
How was that experience for you?
A great experience.
It was a dream come true.
So I didn't reach out to them.
They originally reached out to me
and I had the opportunity to actually
go on either of their franchises.
I could have gone to Kleinfeld in
New York, or I could've gone to
Bridals by Lori, which I ultimately
chose . It was such a dream come true.
It was actually overwhelming because
there were so many choices, obviously
that I ultimately did not pick
one of the dresses that was there.
I had a dress custom made for me,
which was such a life moment to have my
wedding gown, to have it custom made a
couture piece for my Cinderella wedding.
It was absolutely humble.
And one of the things that I loved
about filming it is Lori and Monte
that the host of the show they were.
So in tune to the sensitivity
of the moment, there was nothing
different about my experience
because I was a trans woman.
I was a trans woman shopping
for her wedding dress.
It was a life moment.
And, and for me it was about
finding the best dress that fit me.
And that's the thing that I
loved about it, that there
was nothing extra or anything
different about that appointment.
It was absolutely affirmational
and I'm so glad that I did it.
That's why Myles and I went on
the show, you know, to show that
trans love is a possibility.
That's fantastic.
Precious you and your husband
miles have a biological child.
Can you tell us about that pregnancy and
that journey and how it is parenting?
Well, our daughter's age, she
just turned 19 months and she is
the joy of our lives and Myles.
And I knew.
As soon as we met each other, that
we wanted to have children, you
know, that was one of the earliest
conversations that we had when we
got together and what a journey.
And these are conversations that I don't
think a lot of folks have publicly,
you know, IVF is an experience unto
itself and we did IVF, you know, to, to
have her, you know, and the first time
didn't take, but, but the second time
did, and then, you know, Pregnancy, like
in general is a very scary experience.
And I don't think people talk
about that part of pregnancy.
I think when people are talking about
pregnancy, they only talk about the
happiness and the glow, but like
the, you know, you're waiting on
the milestones and you're praying
that you make it to the 20 weeks,
you know, like, yeah, we gotta
make it to like the, the 20 weeks.
And like all of these things, you know,
that, that I didn't, that I didn't know.
And then put on top of that, you
know, being a trans couple, you
know, and my husband, you know,
is a man, you know what I mean?
And so my husband carrying, you know,
like that experience of what it is
to be a pregnant man navigating the
world and my husband is so strong.
And, and so resilient.
And he actually
experienced discrimination.
You know, he was shopping at a store and
you know, someone at the store thought
that he had clothes underneath his, his
sweater, you know, and the police came
and like grabbed him, who he didn't
even know, you know, what was going on.
And they pulled up his, his belly and
saw that he was actually pregnant.
And so it's it's not even safe
for someone who is trans to
be navigating the world, just
shopping at like a regular store.
But otherwise the rest of the
experience was very affirmational.
And we had a purveyor who was affirming
the whole time and was actually a part
of like the LGBTQ community, which
made the experience so wonderful.
You know, she guided us the process
so beautifully, but we are happy.
Happy parents.
Very happy family.
We'd like to have more, but it
just is, as a parent, I'm learning
so many things about my myself.
I'm learning.
Of course, you know, this book, I
talk about the lengths of resilience
that I have known, but oof being
a parent is to be resilient.
I don't know if you have kids, but
I do.
Yours is 19 months.
Mine is 19 years.
Oh my.
Oh, my gosh.
So I'll take some, I'll take
all of the lessons from you.
Just do the best you can is the
best advice we all feel like we're
not doing enough, but you are just
start with love and with love.
You'll be doing all you need to do.
Thank you so much.
I'll take that advice to heart.
Uh, yes, I can play the agree with you.
Our home is, is rooted in love and she
has brought so much light to our lives.
And we feel like it's always been this
way that she's like always been here.
And so we're enjoying parenting.
I love that.
And just to say for our listeners as
well, you as a couple were the first
transgender couple to be correctly
gendered on an Illinois birth
certificate, just another groundbreaking
thing that's, that's so important.
So I wanted to make sure to mention
that for our listeners as well.
My husband and I, we say that
we live in the legendary lane.
That is who we are.
Black excellence is at the heart of our
being, but all that aside, you know,
that was really about us being affirmed
in our gender, affirmed in our humanity
when trans folks can't legally change
their documents, it creates a host of
issues when it comes to our, our safety.
You know, when let's say, you
know, we were, were to travel and
things didn't align that would
create a myriad of problems for us.
And so, uh, we're grateful to the state
of Illinois for taking our petition.
Absolutely.
Well, let's talk about this
amazing book which I have here.
I Have Always Been Me.
Precious, tell me what readers
will gain from reading this book
in reading I Have Always Been Me.
Folks will see I have always
been the person I am today.
You see a resilient child who
fashions a shinier mold for
themselves than was presented to them.
You see that I have always wielded
my voice, that I've always been
passionate about public service,
that I have always been passionate
about, uh, performance and, and music.
And it's really the place that I
found myself that authenticity has
run a string through my entire life.
One of the things that I learned in
reading, it is just understanding
the resilience that you had and
the perseverance that you had.
And it's so inspiring.
Tell me what has inspired you to achieve
so much to keep moving forward, to
push through the challenges as a kid.
I'll never forget.
Going to see my biological
mother for a visit.
And I knew from a young age that
my biological mother didn't want
me and that she wanted my sister.
And I write about that in the book.
And I'll never forget.
After leaving that visit, I
jumped in the car, pulled the
door shut as hard as I could.
And the sun was beaming that day.
The sun was beaming.
And I remember looking into the sun
saying, I will show you, I am going to
be- and I didn't know then that it was
a mode of success or a model of success.
But I remember to my young self
saying, I'm going to make it.
And I'm going to show you.
I've always had the ability, the
ability to say, I am not that.
I am not made less because of this.
And that is that natural
optimism that I've had.
And I think it is a survival mechanism.
You know, I think that it's
something that a lot of foster kids.
Have, you know, because you are
forced to put together your life in
a matter of minutes, you know, when
you're in a foster home and know your,
your things often don't go with you.
You know, your life is put
together in fragmented pieces and
you don't really have a choice.
And so I think I didn't have a
choice in the matter when you
are a foster kid, emotionally, I
think you either rise or you sink.
You know, given that, given the
circumstances and the challenges,
but I remember from a young age of
saying, no, no, no, no, not, I, I
will, I will create, you know, I,
I like you, we talked about here.
I've always had the ability to
create a world not yet seen.
I think of the, the child
I talk about in the book.
I didn't see a picnic table.
I saw a stage.
I saw, I saw like a runway, you know,
to be whole than the trees, you know,
became the procedium to my performance.
There was no one watching me, but I
think I've always had the ability to,
to create and to, to be optimistic.
That's such good advice for all of us,
you know to - that despite challenges
that we're facing to maintain that.
Positive attitude and positive
outlook to be able to push
through those challenges.
That's so important.
Precious, one of my favorite questions
to ask my guests is tell us something
about you that not a lot of people know.
So I write about this in the
book, but I feel like no one
knows that I can sing, but like
Do you want to sing for
us a little bit right now?
I mean, no, I don't need to but I...Um,
but I promise that I can, but I - that
I can sing of like that, I, you know, it
is something that I am passionate about,
you know, that I'm classically trained,
but I am a classically trained singer
and that's what I studied in college.
That's awesome.
That's awesome.
Precious as we begin to wrap up
our time together, what's the
message you want to leave for those
listening that may be grappling with
sharing their own gender identity.
For me, I would challenge them to stand
in the authenticity of their truth
and shine in the places that they can.
For me throughout the book, there
are glimmers of places that I could
shine, whether it was in my church,
whether it was in my drama program.
And I think that coming out looks
different for, for everyone.
Uh, throughout this book, you will see
there are, I had multiple coming outs.
And I would encourage people to stand
in their truth and to come out as
they feel, feel comfortable, but I
would affirm them and celebrate that
there is a great history of gender
nonconforming folks who have come
before us and who will come after us.
And I think that I am.
A part of that, that legacy.
And for me coming out, I hope
that it inspires other people.
I think sometimes people don't
come out because there are fears
of retribution, you know, when it
comes to career, when it comes to
love, when it comes to family and
those are all very real fears.
And I also would confirm those things,
but I also would confirm that it's a
journey that, you know, I have lots of
family who did not understand what I was
doing when I was doing drag in college,
but they came to, to understand it.
And now we are in a great place, you
know, when it comes to my spirituality,
it is not your stereotypical
Judeo-Christian beliefs that I
subscribe to, but I believe that my
transness is a part of my spirituality
that I am in tune to spirit.
And, and for me, it's really
about standing in one's own truth.
And I would affirm them,
uh, do it in your own way.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Precious this has been so incredible
and, you know, I could certainly spend
another hour talking to you, but being
respectful of your busy schedule.
I just want to say thank you so
much for being with us today on the
podcast and, you know, continued
success, keep shining mean you are
such an amazing example to so many
of us who are just looking for, you
know, that, that inspiration, that
person who is just being themselves
and living their authentic life,
because it inspires so many of us.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for your kind words.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for listening everyone.
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This episode was edited
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I'm Jackie Ferguson.
And I'll talk with you next time
on Diversity Beyond the Checkbox.