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A relatable and honest podcast about the highs and lows of being a youth hockey parent. Join us as we share real stories, struggles, and wins from the rink, offering insights and support for parents navigating the world of youth hockey.
Alright, everybody. Welcome back to day three, Crazy Hockey Dads mini camp.
Jamie:Episode twenty seven?
Scott:Twenty five seven.
Jamie:Twenty twenty seven.
Scott:Miles an hour. Know you're going seven. Seven.
Jamie:But we're in 20 my god.
Scott:Yeah. 27. So welcome back, everybody, to the Crazy Hockey Dads podcast, the unfiltered podcast for hockey parents. No politics.
Jamie:No sugarcoating. Zero sugarcoating.
Scott:Just real talk for hockey parents in the trenches.
Jamie:In the trenches.
Scott:That's where we are on day three.
Jamie:And I feel like we're in the trenches already now. The season is, like, here.
Scott:It's here.
Jamie:It really is. You can smell it. Speaking of, so funny that you said that. Why? Yesterday when I brought Dominic to practice
Scott:Yeah.
Jamie:So I dropped him off. I was just talking to some of the parents outside. We were bitching and moaning about something. What else is new, right? A U18 team walked by me.
Scott:Yes. Oh my. Wait. On the way off the ice or the the way
Jamie:Onto the ice.
Scott:Oh, they fucking reek. Scott. It reeks.
Jamie:I hope my child does not smell like that. Dude I can tell you he doesn't at this moment in time.
Scott:No. But that's gonna change for sure. Oh, give me a break. It totally will. It's gonna reap.
Scott:I'm hoping not. Well, so listen. Ty, just quick t o on that
Jamie:one. I'm hoping not.
Scott:It will. So just prepare. But
Jamie:I don't want to.
Scott:But before we do So, man. Let's talk about day three. Yes. Real quick mentioning our partners. Didn't do it last episode.
Scott:I don't
Jamie:think Howie's
Scott:Howie's hockey, hockey. Crazy ten.
Jamie:Crazy ten for your 10% discount. Go get your go get your stuff. Load up for the season.
Scott:Prostride Elite Skating. Angelo Search. D 10% off. Yep. And then athletic performance insight API, check them out online.
Jamie:Let Eric tag a game for you?
Scott:He will. He'll tag a game. He'll do a demo and mention Crazy Hockey Dads and a 10% discount on your season subscription for video analytics for your team. So all you managers and coaches that might be listening, take a look, get some information. Yep.
Scott:Great, great tool.
Jamie:Yes. No question about it. All right. Yeah. Yeah.
Jamie:So, back to the smell of the U18s. Yeah. I just have to say another thing. I I I don't I don't want my child to smell like that.
Scott:So part of the problem is that it's not the it's not your kid, dude. It's the equipment that just is sweat Oh,
Jamie:I understand that.
Scott:And it just harbors bacteria. Right.
Jamie:So I so I do not have my kid is only 13. So,
Scott:There's 13 year olds that don't smell good.
Jamie:Oh, no question about it. But I I have tell you, nobody on our team smells like that. There's a
Scott:Yeah. But but but but a UAT team, some of these kids have probably had the same shoulder pads Since they're like 10? For, like, the last couple of years. Could you know what I mean?
Jamie:So for those of you who have for those of you parents who have had older kids that play this game and I know a lot of you out there listening to us that have older kids that have played this game there is and for you parents that don't understand, you will shortly there is a distinct odor that comes off of hockey players. It is disgusting.
Scott:It's the gloves.
Jamie:It's the everything. It's not
Scott:just I the don't disagree with that, but I am telling you the gloves are the biggest culprit.
Jamie:So I wonder if the new technology of what gloves are made out of now is different than what it was when you Well,
Scott:it's definitely different.
Jamie:Well, I would think it is not as The materials are different. That's what you're saying.
Scott:You know what? So so it's funny we're talking about this and I don't wanna go off on too much of a tangent, but I was talking to a goalie dad and between
Jamie:Oh, yeah. Goalie dads are
Scott:between the the glove
Jamie:And the blocker. And the blocker. Nasty.
Scott:Okay. But this is I'm pretty sure, and a goalie dad can certainly correct me if I'm wrong, but they were saying, which one would you think smells worse?
Jamie:The glove or the blocker? The glove or the blocker. You know the answer? Actually Well, an answer between the
Scott:for this individuals, everyone's probably different.
Jamie:I mean, they both probably aren't ventilated well. So I'm assuming they're both very similar in that respect. I'm going to say the blocker. I don't know why, but I'm going say the blocker because your hand is around the stick the entire time. So maybe that creates more of a
Scott:Listen, it's probably guessing the blocker is not as I'm pretty sure you said the blocker. The blocker is small.
Jamie:And was there a reason behind it?
Scott:Well, so yes. And I think it had to do with the material that, like, you use in the blocker is akin to the same, like, material you use in a regular hockey glove Okay. Like, for a a skater, whereas the the leather and the materials in the mitt are just, like, not as maybe just they don't smell as badly
Jamie:Interesting.
Scott:Again, don't have a goalie kid.
Jamie:Neither do I.
Scott:Could be mistaken. Yeah. Anyway, let's But
Jamie:I can tell you that our goalie dad has told me that the blocker and the glove are both disgusting.
Scott:I'm sure they are. Okay, so day three Day three. Managing expectations. We have
Jamie:today's mini camp, managing expectations. Now what do we mean by managing expectations? So if we're honest with ourselves
Scott:Let's be honest, James.
Jamie:Right? Let's. We all know exactly where our kid is if we're honest with ourselves, right?
Scott:I think so. There are definitely delusional people.
Jamie:I was going to say there are definitely people that are out
Scott:Yes, the but no.
Jamie:Most of us rational human beings. And we're all rational here that listen to this podcast. You're listening to this because you're a rational person.
Scott:That's a pretty reasonable statement,
Jamie:Wouldn't you I'd agree that? So we're all rational human beings, rational hockey parents. So you need to be honest with yourself on where your kid is in his development. So it's hard to compare your child. I'm giving a hypothetical here.
Jamie:Let's say that your kid is, I don't know, a third line player on the team that you guys made, it's really hard to compare your child to the best player on that hockey team.
Scott:Why is it hard to do that?
Jamie:Well, I think because not that it's hard to do, but I guess what I'm trying to avoid here by saying managing expectations is when your kid gets off the ice saying, why don't you do what Johnny does? Why can't you skate like Johnny? Why aren't you as aggressive as Johnny? Why can't you stick him like Johnny? Why can't you shoot like Johnny?
Jamie:That's what I mean by managing expectations and not comparing your child to another kid on their team because every kid has their own path.
Scott:Right.
Jamie:Right? And sometimes when you compare and I think you can get not that you can insult your kid, but you can say things to your child that maybe are not helpful to you in that specific time. Yeah. That makes sense?
Scott:Yes. Because not not everyone gets it at the same time. Correct. You know, the comparison is the thief of all joy. And I think I've said that before.
Scott:Yeah. Was gonna say that. That was a quote that I got. I forget where I got it. But, you know, it just resonates so loudly.
Jamie:You and all these crazy quotes, man.
Scott:Listen. You listen to enough podcasts, you'll pick up enough, you know, whatever, these one liners. But, you know, call them cliche,
Jamie:call them coming in handy.
Scott:Let's go be you terriers. No. They're gonna be sick this year.
Jamie:I think you're probably right about that.
Scott:Yeah, think I'm pretty right about that.
Jamie:Yeah, BC's gonna be really good too.
Scott:They're general. Both squads, you are top, top, top. Pop finals, here we come. The comparison piece. Yeah.
Scott:So I was telling this to Otto the other day.
Jamie:I used to do it to my kid.
Scott:Why can't you skate like Joe? So here's here's
Jamie:This is a god awful thing to say to a kid. It does not help you even a little bit. It just pisses your kid off.
Scott:Because if they could, they probably would.
Jamie:Of course they would. But whatever reason, they're not yet.
Scott:Not yet. Right. Right? So I was talking to Otto and I think he we talk about this more often about with the mountain biking stuff and Okay.
Jamie:Game stuff?
Scott:Yeah. He's been not fascinated is not the right word, but he puts a lot of effort into learning how to do
Jamie:like flips. Yeah. He likes
Scott:that Like not on the bike yet, but like just front flips and back flips No.
Jamie:He likes
Scott:that stuff. On the ground and on trampolines.
Jamie:He's like an acrobat.
Scott:Well, likes that stuff.
Jamie:I know he does, yeah.
Scott:And he had set a goal for himself that he wanted to be able to do a backflip.
Jamie:Standing backflip.
Scott:Standing backflip. Can he? No, cannot.
Jamie:Like off the ground?
Scott:Off the ground. Dude, that's hard. No. I know
Jamie:it's That's really hard. Has he tried it?
Scott:Well, no. Not right off the ground, but he does backflips like
Jamie:Off a diving board.
Scott:Or off a trampoline.
Jamie:Understood.
Scott:And he's done even off smaller tramp you know those exercise trampolines that aren't like the big ones for
Jamie:the backyard. Yeah.
Scott:Yeah. So he can do it off of that. He's practiced doing it off of
Jamie:like smaller ledges. Dominic can backflip off a trampoline, not from the ground.
Scott:Not so Otto can't either. Yeah. But what where I'm going with this is that, you know, he had said to himself he wanted to be able to do a standing backflip at the end of this year. And quite honestly, he wanted to do it the year before that. And the year before that is when he started flipping forward.
Scott:Cool. And then it was around the same time he's working on how to do a wheelie. And those are Nice. Those different skills are things that if he was look he would if if you looked at other kids around town that are riding and doing wheelies Mhmm. Or a friend of his that can do backflips and he's looking at them being like, he can do it, I can't.
Scott:It's like, well, should you be able to do it now? How much practice does that person had? And then Right. You know, so it's not you're not always comparing apples to apples. Feelings aren't facts.
Scott:And then That's
Jamie:when for
Scott:I told him, I said, dude, remember like last year? Yeah. Like you could not do a backflip on the trampoline. And now you're way more proficient at it and you haven't given up. Don't And you're not compare so look at yourself today versus where you were in the past.
Scott:Yes. And are you better today than you were yesterday, last year?
Jamie:And the answer is yes. Then you're making progress.
Scott:Then you're going in the right direction. Absolutely. And you should be proud about your progress.
Jamie:Don't compare yourself to Joey.
Scott:Because that's just gonna put you down and out because you're not there yet. And for kids in terms of managing their own expectations or being too hard on themselves, I think you're right. Don't as a parent just say, hey, Johnny can do it. How come you can't do it?
Jamie:And listen, you don't know as a parent, you don't know how much time and effort Johnny has put into doing that.
Scott:Of course.
Jamie:So if you did not put that same work in over that same time period, are you supposed to be at Johnny's level? Probably not. So is it fair to compare your kid to a kid like that when maybe you don't know exactly what they've done?
Scott:What they've done to get there.
Jamie:Yeah. So that's what I mean by managing expectations.
Scott:Now here's another way
Jamie:It'll save you a lot of heartache if you do that and really are honest with yourself as the season starts.
Scott:Okay. So just kind of diving into that a little bit more, when talking about managing expectations or goal setting, we should be looking at where our kid is now?
Jamie:I think so. I think you be honest with yourself where your kid is now, and you take where your kid is starting the season and see what they improve on as the season goes on. Little things, little wins, because little wins build confidence and little wins add up to big things in the long
Scott:run. So
Jamie:But you can't compare yourself to Johnny, right? No. It's unfair.
Scott:It's not fair.
Jamie:I was going say
Scott:with that is one of the ways that I've definitely done that myself with Otto is I've said things like, okay, you're working on whatever the skill Yeah. Right? Let's just say Slap Shot. Yeah. Right?
Scott:Like, you're working on Slap Shot. I'm like, who on your team has a really good Slap Shot?
Jamie:Joey does.
Scott:Joey does. And it's like, well, why don't you see what Joey does? Yeah. And while there's on one hand, that's not bad advice No. To like look at what people who are successful are doing
Jamie:Of course.
Scott:And copy it. But at the same time Yeah. That's that's that's also saying, hey, look at this kid on your team who's ahead of you. Fair. But here you are back here.
Scott:So Joey might also be forty pounds heavier. Whatever it is.
Jamie:But Or like six inches taller.
Scott:I guess what I'm kinda catching myself in in explain sharing how that I have basically compared him to another kid on his team and pointed out he's not as far ahead. As Joe is. With good intentions saying, hey, look. This person on your team does it really well.
Jamie:Well, maybe maybe in the end it was not the best thing to do.
Scott:Maybe maybe that's not the right way to Or go
Jamie:maybe there's another way to deliver that.
Scott:Or just keep keep it focused on your kid. Exactly.
Jamie:And that's what I mean by managing expectations.
Scott:Right. Yeah. Then again, here's
Jamie:It'll save a lot of heartache for you and your child, I would think.
Scott:No. A 100%.
Jamie:Yeah. Yeah. I I think that's huge.
Scott:I do. Yeah. And so some of the things that are important when we talk about
Jamie:Yeah.
Scott:Managing expectations is that, you know, in some way, shape, or form, you do want to have points of comparison. Right? So, like, let's just say and here's here's, like, an example. Right? I was just gonna say, a
Jamie:slapshot. Yeah.
Scott:So the first, you know, little while Otto was taking slap shots. He was winding up, but he wasn't getting any lift on the puck.
Jamie:Okay.
Scott:But then after some more repetition, he started to get some lift.
Jamie:Mhmm.
Scott:And then after a little bit longer, he was able to do it harder or faster. And now I'm not sitting there with like a radar gun.
Jamie:No. No. But you can tell.
Scott:You can tell he's getting a better handle on it. No question. So that's on the driveway. And then a couple months later, he's on the ice. And it starts to translate.
Scott:And then it's like Slowly. You're still you're winding up, but you're not getting a lift on the ice. Oh, but now you got it on the ice and now can you do it while you're skating?
Jamie:Yep.
Scott:So kind of breaking down that skill into more bite sized Like
Jamie:micro versions.
Scott:Yeah. Exactly. And seeing have we moved from A to B?
Jamie:And if you have, then you're moving in the right direction.
Scott:Right. Yeah.
Jamie:It's all about little wins. Yeah. Right? And that's why I say, be honest about where your kid is at the start of the season and start from there and see what you can improve or what they can improve and you could help them improve on from there on to the end of the season. And if you look back from where you can write it down.
Jamie:Where you started in the August and where you are at the February or whenever your season ends, March, whatever it is, whatever you guys do, nationals, wherever you finish your season, whatever month you finish in, look back and say, what have we improved on? If you have improved, you're golden.
Scott:Right. So you want to measure your kid against yesterday's version of themselves and not against
Jamie:Not Joey, Johnny, Brian
Scott:Peter Rich Tommy.
Jamie:Frank. Good Frank. Ned.
Scott:Ned Flanders?
Jamie:Ned Ned Nedelander. You know what that's wrong? No. Come on.
Scott:What do you mean?
Jamie:Three Amigos. Ned Nederlander was Martin Short's character, I think.
Scott:Oh, was?
Jamie:I think so, yeah.
Scott:For sure. Remember City Slickers? That was a
Jamie:good one. Curly? The Curly. What a great movie that was.
Scott:Hold on. Let's just finish up with Yes. This Let's. But I wanted to also call out oh, this part. That struggle is real and it's also normal to struggle.
Scott:And I think that's something like my kid is really hard on himself.
Jamie:As is
Scott:And what I'm grateful for is that even though he's hard on himself, he's also resilient. So even when you know, his parents have like poured it on more than they needed to Sure. Or if he's poured it on himself more than he's needed to, like, is regularly bounced back and that's a trait that I'm like really glad to see in him. Right. Hopefully, it'll stick.
Scott:But, you know, the the struggle is real and it that's part of the process and that's getting, you know, being in uncomfortable situations and failing and getting back up. So in terms of managing expectations with your child, they all like you need to normalize the fact that things aren't hard. You know what? I share I share with Otto. Here's an example that I shared with him last night.
Scott:So just a shout out to Thunderbirds. Let's go. Won our men's league championship last night.
Jamie:Oh, is that what you guys are called Thunderbirds?
Scott:Yeah. We're the Thunderbirds.
Jamie:I know you guys are the Thunderbirds. Yeah. We're we're talking about like the old car Thunderbird? Like, how how that where'd that come from, Thunderbirds?
Scott:No. Thunderbird isn't like bird of prey. Know I where it came
Jamie:Is it Thunderbird? I'm pretty sure a Thunderbird is not a bird of prey. Oh, our Clearly, is. Version is. But I'm I'm pretty sure Thunderbird is a car from Ford.
Scott:Well, but I'm telling you Not jerseys have birds and not cars. Okay, the the birds of prey.
Jamie:That's right. You boys, you're
Scott:men's league. We're killer birds.
Jamie:You're, Yes. Clearly. Your men's league won the championship last
Scott:year. We won the championship. But this
Jamie:is Nice job by you guys.
Scott:Yeah. But modeling behavior for your Thank you. It was a big win.
Jamie:That is. That's huge. Biggest will be. First first championship for men's league for you?
Scott:No. It's my second three.
Jamie:Excuse me, man. I didn't realize you guys are so legit. With the Thunderbirds?
Scott:Only the Thunderbirds. I bleed blue.
Jamie:Is that what you guys are blue?
Scott:Oh, yeah. Sky Blue.
Jamie:So you're the blue Thunderbirds.
Scott:Those are the the the Okay. The blue ones are the most deadly.
Jamie:Clearly. I I don't know why they I should've known that.
Scott:Anyway, anyway, anyway That's awesome though. Before I left the locker room last
Jamie:night Shout
Scott:I texted Otto and I said, I'm about to walk out of the locker room.
Jamie:What? He should've been sleeping?
Scott:Dude, that's not I'm just messing around.
Jamie:Got it.
Scott:Yeah. All good. Yeah. And I said to I I texted. I said, I'm nervous.
Scott:I said, I'm nervous.
Jamie:Oh, this was before you This was
Scott:before the game last night. So I texted him. I said, hey, buddy. About to walk out of the locker room. Yeah.
Scott:I'm nervous, but I'm gonna give it my best.
Jamie:Very well done. And then I was
Scott:like, thinking thinking of you, my man. That's awesome.
Jamie:Yeah. He must have loved that, by the way.
Scott:He didn't respond.
Jamie:Because he's probably sleeping, which he probably should have been.
Scott:No. But and then after the game, my next text message was we got a t shirt, whatever. But I texted him a picture of the t shirt. And all I got is a t Okay. Yes.
Jamie:Totally movie. Sorry, go
Scott:No, all good. But I'm just like modeling behavior for your kids is also important. We talked in the last episode about modeling about the way you communicate. Yeah. Now in this situation about managing expectations and like being hard on yourself and it's like the struggle is real.
Scott:Is me showing my kid, I'm
Jamie:That sure you're struggling That
Scott:I'm also Of course. You go through before a game
Jamie:is Dad's going through
Scott:it Dad goes through it too.
Jamie:Is a nice thing to say to your child. Right. Because when they see you having the same struggles that they're having, it creates a little bit of a bond. And then maybe they can come to you and say, hey, dad, you know, I'm having a problem with this. I know you mentioned it before.
Jamie:I do it to my kid all the time. Right. I go, Dom, I go, you know, I have the same struggles you do when I'm when I'm playing pickleball competitively.
Scott:Right.
Jamie:It's sometimes
Scott:Who just have more experience on how to deal with it.
Jamie:We're just older and our brains are a little more developed.
Scott:So Only a touch.
Jamie:Only a little bit.
Scott:Like a hair.
Jamie:Yeah. So us as parents need to kind of impart some of the wisdom that we have on our kids, right?
Scott:Yes.
Jamie:That's the idea. Yep. So it was good. What do we got tomorrow?
Scott:Tomorrow. Oh. Day four. Tomorrow's
Jamie:Day four. Is this staying positive at all costs essentially? Is that really where we are? The positivity of dadding in youth hockey essentially?
Scott:Yeah. And we're gonna touch about player confidence.
Jamie:Confidence, right? Positivity, right?
Scott:Which is very those kind of go hand in hand.
Jamie:Yeah. When positivity and confidence drop, bad things happen on
Scott:the ice. Yep. So we're gonna dive into that stuff tomorrow. Love it. Yeah.
Scott:Thank you everyone for tuning in.
Jamie:Yes. Thank you so much. I hope you enjoyed day three of our Crazy Hockey Dads mini camp.
Scott:That's it.
Jamie:Yep.
Scott:In the books, my man.
Jamie:We'll see you guys tomorrow for day four. Alright. Alright.
Scott:Later. See you.