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Be Cringe, Be Free: Authenticity, Shame, and the Cost of Performing the Self
"Be cringe, be free" sounds like a joke about dancing badly in public. Dr. Leslie Poston makes the case that it's actually a question psychology has been thinking about for decades: why does being yourself in public feel so dangerous, and can dropping the performance actually change anything beyond your own life? This episode draws on Goffman's front stage and back stage selves, Winnicott's true self and false self, Brehm's reactance theory, Gilbert's social rank theory, Tangney's research on shame and guilt, Gilovich's spotlight effect, Meyer's minority stress theory, Keltner's work on embarrassment, and Deci, Ryan, and Neff on autonomy and self-compassion, to ask what it actually costs to keep performing, and what it takes to stop.
00:00 Be Cringe Be Free
01:07 Life as Theater
02:48 True vs False Self
04:37 Reactance and Pushback
06:14 Where Cringe Fear Comes From
08:04 Spotlight Effect Reality Check
09:03 Minority Stress and Real Risk
10:23 Embarrassment vs Defiance
11:57 Autonomy and Self Compassion
13:57 Freedom as Collective Change
14:33 Outro and Research Invite
LINK TO PARTICIPATE IN DR. POSTON'S NEXT RESEARCH STUDY: https://bit.ly/4fCx52d (linked form will deactivate when study is full)
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"Be cringe, be free" sounds like a joke about dancing badly in public. Dr. Leslie Poston makes the case that it's actually a question psychology has been thinking about for decades: why does being yourself in public feel so dangerous, and can dropping the performance actually change anything beyond your own life? This episode draws on Goffman's front stage and back stage selves, Winnicott's true self and false self, Brehm's reactance theory, Gilbert's social rank theory, Tangney's research on shame and guilt, Gilovich's spotlight effect, Meyer's minority stress theory, Keltner's work on embarrassment, and Deci, Ryan, and Neff on autonomy and self-compassion, to ask what it actually costs to keep performing, and what it takes to stop.
00:00 Be Cringe Be Free
01:07 Life as Theater
02:48 True vs False Self
04:37 Reactance and Pushback
06:14 Where Cringe Fear Comes From
08:04 Spotlight Effect Reality Check
09:03 Minority Stress and Real Risk
10:23 Embarrassment vs Defiance
11:57 Autonomy and Self Compassion
13:57 Freedom as Collective Change
14:33 Outro and Research Invite
LINK TO PARTICIPATE IN DR. POSTON'S NEXT RESEARCH STUDY: https://bit.ly/4fCx52d (linked form will deactivate when study is full)
Creators and Guests
What is PsyberSpace® - we help you understand your world?
PsyberSpace® is a weekly psychology podcast for curious people who want to understand why the world feels the way it does, online and offline. The show helps you name what you’re seeing and feeling, understand the science behind it, and figure out what to do next.
If you've ever wondered what makes "reply guys" tick, why we fall for emotionally manipulative language in politics, why meetings suck, why comfort can keep us stuck, why limerence hits so hard, or how music and media reshape your brain, you’re in the right place. New episodes drop every Monday to help you understand your world a little better each week.
PsyberSpace looks at how psychology, media, and big systems shape everyday life. Some weeks it’s algorithms, AI, and social platforms; other weeks it’s work culture, gender and power, climate anxiety, grief, or the way capitalism sets the baseline for what “normal” looks like. Each episode breaks down how these patterns show up in real people’s bodies and minds—and what you can do to respond with more clarity, care, and agency in your own life, work, and community.
2025 Webby Award Honoree
2026 Women in Podcasting Award Nominee
2025 Women in Podcasting Award Nominee
2024 Women in Podcasting Award Nominee