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What do you do when the bottom drops out and life breaks in ways you never imagined? Charlie and Jill LeBlanc have walked that road, and through their personal story of loss, they’ve discovered the sustaining power of God's presence. In this podcast, they offer heartfelt conversations, Scripture-based encouragement, and the kind of hope that only comes from experience. Whether you're grieving, struggling, or searching for peace in the middle of chaos, this space is for you.
Welcome back and thank you so much for joining us again. We're Charlie and Jill and we are here with Finding Hope, Getting Through What You Never Asked For.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And we're just delighted that you have decided to listen once again. Maybe this is your first time, and we just wanna welcome you. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to bow out early on this recording session. I need to run and take my grandson to swim practice.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yes.
Jill LeBlanc:So, but I didn't want to miss part of it anyway, rather than miss miss it all. I'll just miss the second half.
Charlie LeBlanc:Glad you're gonna be here for at least a few minutes.
Jill LeBlanc:You know, we were talking last week about this horrific tragedy that happened in our nation with the assassination of Charlie Kirk. And, you know, a lot of people have compared that to when Stephen was martyred. I mean, Charlie was certainly martyred. And if you look back in the book of Acts, when Stephen was martyred, it it was like trying to stamp on a a a campfire. Once you stamp on it, it splatters the embers and can start more fires.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yes.
Jill LeBlanc:And we believe that that's exactly what will happen here. It's going to open the door for the gospel like we've never seen probably in our lifetime.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right. Right.
Jill LeBlanc:You know, and others have have been referring to this time as a watershed moment. And I've heard that phrase before, but I didn't really know what it meant. So I looked it up in ChatGPT as we do these days, which is such a great resource. But it says, A watershed moment is a critical turning point or event that marks a significant change in the course of history, a situation or someone's life. After a watershed moment, things are often very different from how they were before, much like how a watershed in geography divides where water flows in one direction or another.
Jill LeBlanc:And I personally believe that that's exactly what we are moving forward into is just a time that you'll be able to look back and say, yes, that changed the course of history in the world as we knew it.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yes. Definitely. Definitely our world, definitely those of us who knew and loved him and the effect that he was having on the youth of America was just unbelievable. I mean, people loved him, they respected him. Of course, lot of people didn't agree with him, but he was a peace loving, peaceful, and a debater.
Charlie LeBlanc:He enjoyed-
Jill LeBlanc:Oh my goodness.
Charlie LeBlanc:Bring me your questions. Let's talk about it. Let's debate on what's right and what's wrong. And I just love that about him, that he was just very smart and had his thoughts clear enough. And you know, you were talking about Stephen in scripture, and I was rereading it a little bit as well, because it is very similar in that Stephen was martyred, and he was a great man of God and he had just got through teaching an incredible long sermon to all the Jews there, you know, about the history of Judaism and the history of the Israelis and all that God had done, and they couldn't handle it.
Charlie LeBlanc:Unfortunately, the shooter that shot Charlie was similar. He just could not handle. He didn't like what he was saying. He thought Charlie was a hater and all this stuff. And it's just demonic that this young man got so deceived, even to the place of shooting him.
Charlie LeBlanc:I mean, it's one thing to go up to someone and to say, I disagree with you, and Charlie would say, let's talk about it. Let's talk about what we don't agree on. And, you know, that's okay, that's normal. But to say, oh, I'm so mad at you and so I'm gonna shoot you, you know, that's cowardice, like you said, Jill, you know, it's such a weak thing. And I just want to point out something else that, you know, this is such a hard tragedy and such a painful thing, but you know, notice that the streets aren't being rioted down.
Charlie LeBlanc:No one's going in the streets and saying, we're gonna, we're gonna go assassinate- We're gonna
Jill LeBlanc:Burn cars and burn buildings.
Charlie LeBlanc:And I understand anger and pain when you lose a loved one or lose a famous person, you know, but at the same time, we have to keep our hearts in a healthy place.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah. That's so true. And interestingly, I was reading in John 15 about Jesus spending time with the disciples, and he's he talks about the world's hatred.
Jill LeBlanc:And, you know, it's we were watching Andrew last night and and about how he was talking about, you know, even you know, we stand up for the gospel, and not everyone is gonna it's going is going to love us for that, you know Right. Because that's the spirit of the world.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right.
Jill LeBlanc:And Jesus said, if the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. And the world would love you as one of its own if you belong to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, and so it hates you. And, we are, Jesus' followers, and he will give us grace to walk, to share the gospel, to be his ambassador, to just continue getting through things that we never asked for.
Jill LeBlanc:Right.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right. And, you know, and he did say, If they persecuted me, they will persecute you.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:And really, we look at this as just a clear persecution against the gospel. Yes. And so therefore, it's left with pain, heartache for so many people that knew and loved him, his wife and kids. I can't even begin to imagine the pain. They were young, newly married, what, only four or five years married, something like that. It's just absolutely horrible. You know, I heard one of the commentators say this. They said, Charlie, they quoted him, they said he said that, To forgive without limits and always forgive your enemies.
Charlie LeBlanc:And Charlie was an amazing Christian, amazing man of God, and he put Jesus first in everything he did. We know he's in the arms of Jesus up there, and we just rejoice with that, but at the same time, like you said, this watershed moment, I really do believe that it's helping us all to just say, We're gonna keep this torch going. We're gonna keep preaching the gospel. We're continue to proclaim the truth, and that's what happened here in scripture that, you know, I'll get into that in a little bit, maybe after you have to run. But, but yeah, it says it very clearly that, you know, revival broke out.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah, boy, did it ever.
Charlie LeBlanc:You know? And I believe that's gonna happen in this situation.
Jill LeBlanc:I do too.
Charlie LeBlanc:I think revival is gonna break out. It already has started, but I think young people are gonna grab this baton.
Jill LeBlanc:Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc:And they're gonna go, Let's go. Let's start having Let's more have more of this. Let's go for it. And you know someone else might get shot or martyred or, know, in this world, you shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer, for I've overcome the world. And, know, like I said, Jesus said, if they persecuted me, they're gonna persecute you.
Charlie LeBlanc:And so, as awful as this is, it's almost like we're moving into a new realm of the gospel being preached and persecution with it.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:You know? And there's nothing we can do about that. You can't pray away persecution because that's part of it. Paul the Apostle experienced it over and over again. So I don't wanna talk too much, because I want you to talk a little bit before you leave.
Jill LeBlanc:Well, I am, you know, I grew up I've been walking with Jesus since I was 14. And that was a long time ago.
Charlie LeBlanc:I know. And to think, and I met you when you were 17. You were just a little girl.
Jill LeBlanc:But, you know, it would always kind of freak me out to think about the persecution side of serving the Lord. But we've heard so many stories about people that experience persecution, how the grace of God is on them to be able to walk through that. Just like it was on Stephen. And he as he was probably dying or close to it, he said, Father, forgive them.
Charlie LeBlanc:That's right.
Jill LeBlanc:You know? And God will give us grace for that too.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yes. Yes. And we've heard so many stories of martyrs that burned at the stake
Jill LeBlanc:Oh, my gosh.
Charlie LeBlanc:And just worshiping Jesus
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:And and others being thrown into the lions. And and we heard stories that Christians were running to go to to go to go die.
Jill LeBlanc:They say, pick me, pick me.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. They just wanted to run-in there
Jill LeBlanc:because they thought
Charlie LeBlanc:that this is what
Jill LeBlanc:Well, not Christians or unbelievers would see the joy on the Christians, and they would jump out of the stands and
Charlie LeBlanc:-Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:-You know?
Charlie LeBlanc:Well, yeah. And the martyrs' crown.
Jill LeBlanc:Because they wanted the joy.
Charlie LeBlanc:Crown that someone who dies for Christ, I can't even imagine. And I know that Charlie, he lived his life to serve people, to love people, to help people. And he loved his wife, he loved his kids, and now, you know, there's a lot of pain. It doesn't mean that just because you do it, you die for Christ, that there's not pain. You know, and we see in Scripture here that Stephen, you know, at his funeral, it said, holy men of God, that they wept, and they mourned deeply for him as they laid him to rest.
Charlie LeBlanc:And that, again, is something that's normal, even though we do it for Christ, and Charlie died for Christ, and we know that he's in heaven, and that's the whole thing, so often you hear, Well, they're in heaven, praise the Lord. That's so irrelevant. It's the weakest thing. And we just got through spending, as we mentioned in the last podcast, spending a lot of time with bereaved friends in St. Louis. They all agree that that is the weakest thing to say to someone who's had a loss, is praise the Lord, they're in heaven, or they beat us to heaven or whatever. We were guilty of it before we had a loss. We didn't know what to say.
Jill LeBlanc:I'm gonna have to step out, but I want you to share, what do you say? You know, for those who maybe haven't walked through it, but they've been with others that have.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right.
Jill LeBlanc:What what is the proper response?
Charlie LeBlanc:Sounds good. I'll do my best. Without you, I don't know. I'm only half I'm only halfway here, and not sure I can do it without you.
Jill LeBlanc:You're full of the holy ghost and the word of God.
Charlie LeBlanc:I'm not alone. The Holy Spirit is within me. Amen.
Jill LeBlanc:So I'll see you next time. God bless you all.
Charlie LeBlanc:Okay.
Jill LeBlanc:See you See you, babe.
Charlie LeBlanc:So, yeah, so, you know, there are so many things not to say, and yet there's a lot of things to say. As we mentioned in the last podcast, sometimes no words are better than wrong words, and there's a scripture that says to speak only those things which are good for edifying, that'll bring grace to the hearer. And I think that's the thing we have to be really careful with sometimes, is to just like, don't think that what you say is so good and it's gonna be so great. Make sure that it's gonna be great to them. We think what we all have to say, oh, we got all these scriptures, we got all this great stuff, but is it gonna be great for them?
Charlie LeBlanc:Is it gonna help them? Is it gonna minister to them? They're brokenhearted, they're in pain. Is it really gonna help them? And so, you know, sit back.
Charlie LeBlanc:I love that story of Job where the three friends came and they saw that his pain was too great for words. Too great for words, I love that. You know, I wanna read you something, and hopefully I'm gonna get a little bit more into this Stephen thing story, it was such an amazing story, but I heard one of the commentators about Charlie Kirk read a portion of Abraham Lincoln's letter to a Mrs. Bixby who had lost now listen to this. She had lost five sons in the civil war. And and, I mean, can you imagine the pain, the mourning, the grief?
Charlie LeBlanc:I recently talked to someone who had lost both of their children, and they looked at me and they said, I have no reason to live. And I get that. I wasn't gonna try to be the pep talker, but I hugged him, I held him, and I said, I'm praying the God of all comfort will be with you. I'm praying that God will give you a glimmer of hope, because I can't even imagine it. And here this lady, Mrs. Bixby, she had lost five sons. Oh my gosh. In in on the battlefield. And so thank god Abraham Lincoln was, you know, a great man of God, and thank God he attempted to write her a letter and speak to her, and I'm gonna try to do justice on this letter, I'll try to skip around a little bit, but he said, I've been shown in the files of the war department a statement, that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. He said, and listen to this, I love this, I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming.
Charlie LeBlanc:Man, I love that statement. Abraham Lincoln had a heart. He understood pain. He understood loss. You know, interestingly, I think back in the early days, with all the wars and everything, people understood loss and pain more than we do these days, because we've got doctors, we've got healers, we've got safety belts in our cars, we've got so many things that protect us from harm, great doctors and so on.
Charlie LeBlanc:Back then, they didn't have much. You know, if someone got really if a child got sick with a heavy fever, they didn't know much what to do, they had accidents because they didn't have safety things, they had lots of and then they had the wars. And so they understood the praying of loss. They understood grief a whole lot better than I think some of us is. I know when we lost our son, Beau, sixteen years ago, I didn't know I knew nothing about grief.
Charlie LeBlanc:My whole family knew nothing about grief. I mean, we have a big family. I have five siblings, so six of us, mom and dad, and all of them had children, and all of them had children's children. We have a big, big family, a big gathering, but sixteen and a half years ago when Beau died, our son, it brought shock waves through my family because no one in our family had experienced this kind of loss. Yeah, maybe an elderly uncle or an elderly parent or grandparent or whatever had passed, but none of us had experienced the loss of a child, and it was painful.
Charlie LeBlanc:But back in this day, I think they had a lot more that they experienced in this realm, so they had an understanding. So I'm gonna read this one more time, what Abraham said, Mr. Lincoln said, it was just beautiful. He said, I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. And he said, but I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic that they died to save.
Charlie LeBlanc:And then he said, I pray that our heavenly father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memories of the love and loss, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom. Yours very sincerely and respectfully, Abraham Lincoln. Wow. I mean, that just spoke spoke to me so much that he had such tenderness. He knew his words would help a little bit, but he knew they would be weak and probably fruitless to a mother who has lost five children in that war.
Charlie LeBlanc:Oh my gosh. But he attempted it. He attempted it very carefully and admitted from the start that he probably didn't have the right words. I said this, I think, earlier in this podcast or one of the others, I get them all mixed up, but so often when we're visiting with friends that have had losses, we feel so inadequate. And you know, well, Charlie, you wrote a book, and you've been doing this for a long time.
Charlie LeBlanc:We feel so inadequate. We don't really feel like we're gonna have the right things to say. Yeah, I've got all kinds of scriptures, I've done all kinds of study, and yes, we've got the book. But you know, none of that matters. When you're with a hurting person, what matters is that you love them enough, you care enough to listen, and then you wait and see if the Holy Spirit would give you anything to say.
Charlie LeBlanc:More often, you just listen a lot. And yeah, you may come up with a scripture here or there, but be really careful with the things that you say. Like Jill said, as she was leaving, she wanted me to share things to say. A lot of it is just love, caring. You know, to say something like, you know, I can't imagine what you're going through, you know, but I'm here for you.
Charlie LeBlanc:I love you. You know, and and another thing that we say quite often is don't be afraid to say the loved one's name that passed. You know, when people come up to me and when we get emails or texts and they say, Boy, I was thinking about Beau the other night, or I had a dream about Beau, or, you know, I remember when I was in high school with Beau, we get all kinds of different texts throughout the year. It's so beautiful. We get so blessed, and so often people are afraid to mention the name of the deceased because they think that they're going to bring grief into their heart, that you're gonna remind them of the pain and they're gonna have grieving.
Charlie LeBlanc:Listen, as we say in the book and as we say so often, people are always, always thinking about their loved one that they've lost. And you know, as I mentioned at the last podcast, the nineeleven memorial, I sat there and wept over it many, many times throughout watching it as they would say their names and as they would hold up a picture of their loved one, and as they would read something, maybe the last text that the loved one shared. I know a lot of people were sharing their texts with Charlie Kirk just the day of and the day before, that he passed. Beautiful texts of Charlie just sharing about Jesus and loving Jesus. And those are beautiful things that we'll cherish for the rest of our life.
Charlie LeBlanc:I can't imagine what his wife, the cherished texts that she has. You know, we have a few of Beau that are real special to us, but not many, because back then, sixteen years plus ago, texting wasn't as popular. It was starting to gain in its popularity. We actually, in July, forced ourself to learn how to text back then because our kids were doing it so much. But, but again, these are precious things.
Charlie LeBlanc:But, yeah, just really bearing one another's burdens, caring for them enough to weep with them, caring enough to listen. I think the art of listening is something that we we've lost. We always when we're listening, we're always thinking about what we're gonna say next. And that is so wrong because stop listening when you start thinking about what you're gonna say next. If you're in a conversation, someone says, yeah, you know, the other day, I saw this bird and it was an amazing bird.
Charlie LeBlanc:It was blue and it had beautiful colors. Well, right away your mind is going, I saw a bird like that too last year. And so you stop listening to it because you're thinking about the excitement of all that you want to say, Yeah, I did too, blah, blah, And I know that's part of normal conversation, but you have to be careful not to steal someone else's thunder. Because if someone comes in and they have something exciting to say to you, you should just listen and rejoice with them. And if the right moment comes around for you to speak and you feel okay about saying a similar situation that you'd been in, it's fine, but don't steal someone's thunder.
Charlie LeBlanc:Praise God, I saw this and God showed me this. And they go, Oh, well, God showed me this instead. And you're like, okay, well then you don't really care about what I just said. And that happens in grief support so much. We're not listening and caring enough.
Charlie LeBlanc:We're not soaking in the conversation of what they've said. We're not, like Jill read that scripture on compassion, we're not having compassion enough to just listen and see, you know, what are sometimes your facial expressions, sometimes your heart, your hands can can minister more to them than your words. So, you know, be very careful, and I love the word of God. The word of God is my life. I would never have made it through this loss without God's love, God's compassion, and God's word.
Charlie LeBlanc:It has been my lifeline, but at the same time, there's a time and a place for everything, and there's a season for everything, and people quoting scripture to me when I first, had my loss did not help me. In fact, it wounded me, because I was hurt that that my son didn't get healed. And so when people started pulling out that two edged sword and started telling me what the word says, you know, that just did not help me. I just needed people to be compassionate. I needed people to weep with me.
Charlie LeBlanc:I needed people that would show that they understand as we quote this, you know, people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. That's such a powerful word. You know, we just need to care. We need to show that we care. We need to be good listeners and just let people grieve.
Charlie LeBlanc:Let people mourn. I've found that morning people, they do just wanna talk. They do just wanna talk about their feelings. They wanna talk about their loved one, and we just need to let them do it. Just let them do it.
Charlie LeBlanc:You'll be stronger, you'll be more of a man or woman of God if you'll just learn how to listen. It's a beautiful thing, and it'll really minister so much love and so much comfort to the people who are listening. You know, we talk a lot about Earl Grumman in our book, and I just wanna read one little passage because when I was listening to the nineeleven memorials, one of the commentators said, this just doesn't go away. These people live with this every day of their life and you know they pray for their loved ones, you know they remember them, they pray for each other and their family, the ones who are lost. Know we have two daughters, I pray for them all the time because I know this has really affected their life, but Earl Grumman said this, he said the depths of sorrow will diminish slowly and at times imperceptively.
Charlie LeBlanc:Your recovering is not an act of disloyalty to the one who has died, nor is it achieved by forgetting the past. Don't try to destroy a beautiful part of your life because remembering it hurts. As children of today and tomorrow, we are also children of yesterday, and I think that's a healthy thing to realize that we're it's all part of our life. The past still travels with us, and what has been makes us who we are today. Try to strike that delicate balance between a yesterday that should be remembered and a tomorrow that should be created.
Charlie LeBlanc:You know, that's tender words. We read a lot of this rabbi's material after we lost Bo, and it was really healthy. Another thing he said is grief is unbearable heartache, sorrow, and loneliness. Because you loved grief, work walks by your side. Grief is one of the most basic of human emotions.
Charlie LeBlanc:Grief is very, very normal. And and again, I just appreciate what I've seen on television in the last few weeks of commentators that were covering Charlie Kirk's assassination that they really cared. I saw tears by a lot of tough commentators, and not just the women, but also the men, and I just appreciate that because it is it is not ungodly or unmanly to cry. God gave us tears. God gave us a heart.
Charlie LeBlanc:If you're a man of compassion, if you're a man or a woman that cares, you will weep with those who weep. You will care enough to to shed a tear and to not talk, but listen, not try to fix them. You do the love and let God do the fixing. Amen. There's so much more we could say, but I'm gonna bring this to a close, but before we do, I do wanna share about our book, When Lost Comes Close to Home.
Charlie LeBlanc:It's right over here. You know, we poured our heart out in this book. We shared so much that I haven't been able to share in this podcast. And this book will really, really help you. And you know, if you go to our website or even click on below, there's a set of scriptures that we have for you as well that'll help you if you're going through loss or grief.
Charlie LeBlanc:Just go ahead and sign up on our mailing list and we'll send you this free list of scriptures which we put together because they really helped us. So don't forget the book on our website and also the the Greek card as you sign up. Okay? So we love you. We have lots of materials, lots of teachings on our website, lots of things that we believe we know will help you.
Charlie LeBlanc:So God bless you. We pray that you get through this dark time, that you let God continue to heal your broken heart. We love you. God bless you. And we'll talk to you again next time.