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The A-team outsources. Enter Victrix the glaive-mercenary, Duodriller Guiltgrip the dwarven sniper, Tokata the fleshwarp bard, and Sir Braybarrow — an undead skeleton tyrant on a horse named Glue. Within ten minutes Victrix punches the King of Moths in the stomach. They are looking for a burned caravan. They are finding each other first.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
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What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
all righty chat are you excited for another exciting episode of raw grind
welcome to the new episode of milvs
hello there hi we're here hi for context the podcast is a giant milv sign it says milvs
milvs at the top no no that is not picture okay i want you to understand the token that is above
milvs mils mils is not picturing that is the token for bilimus squelchfoot okay we'll flip him the
other way then no that is the that is the flipped one i already i already updated it i've been on
on the ball all right i'm gonna kill him then that's bilimus bilimus squelchfoot
all right and uh he's here he's here to learn you good about a story that bilimus is here uh
purveying a whole bunch of changes that has happened hi everybody welcome back to another
episode of rock grind i am your host and host and uh resident cuckold fuck zone the bear hope
everyone's been having a fantastic time it's good to see everybody again uh you may have noticed
there's something a bit different with some other stuff uh i just uh you'll see the developments
that's coming in through you'll you'll be very excited to see i'm gonna go around the horn
everyone to introduce themselves and to talk about uh their new characters
yeah we've trashed the old campaign by the way
no one was too attached right right yeah no one gave a shit about anybody right like
we all got struck by lightning was that just me we got rid of your favorite characters and just
just trashed them you know it's purely a business decision i hope you can respect it really there's
nothing personal we didn't care about your feelings we it's all just about money we took a huge home
depot sponsorship that paid us uh quadrillions of dollars exactly that's why that's why my shield
is made by home depot uh provided wood i'm turning into i'm turning into yorm the giant to tell chat
this is a joke please stop freaking out if anyone got serious all right so let's go around the horn
and introduce people's uh little b-team characters starting off with odoroshi hello i am odoroshi i'm going
to be playing tokata the fleshwarp bard i'm so pleased to make your acquaintance
and next up we have hokey crow's character yes today i will be playing doodrilir guilt grip the
dwarven sniper and i am just pleased as punch to make your acquaintance as well
and next up we have edwin dear hello i am erndel it is good to be back here and i am going to be
playing as sir victrix corlos you have met her before if you watched all the episodes if you
haven't go back and watch them right fucking now or she's going to stab you with her glaive
of course we have a resident speaker of these and behold for it is i the king of moths here to lead us
all on the path to apotheosis or at the very least incredibly heinous wealth
you're an evocation wizard right yes an evocation wizard at that isn't that special
yeah and well speaking for instance there's just a terrible detail on a and a character do this because
i am playing as sir bray barrow uh he is a he is a tyrant champion uh following the anarctic faith
and um he is and he has a little guy behind him uh as you see as his squire which i think uh will
let you figure out who he is uh through through role play and figure out around the episode and he
also has his skeletal mount with him i've done everything to make sure i can make a knight
skeleton because he is he is an undead skeleton named sir bray barrow and i'm a very and i'm very
excited to play and follow forth the anarctic faith and uh but of course the ones who's going to be
torturing all these characters the one who's gonna be pinning them with various challenges
as is blick turn up there stares at my character ominously with his token up top
uh one who's going to be torturing us all as a resident and amazing game master thurston hillman
blick turn is just is just pick turn with a gun
gluck turn
speaker is so fond of that term
it's a good noun chat they didn't tell me that they were all coming in with new characters today
they just showed up in the overlay it was like this i'm having a fever dream help me i mean hi no
it's exciting we're gonna we're gonna learn we're gonna learn a lot today from bill and miss squirt
as he tells the uh the tale of the other party that went into the swamp you know
yeah this is not even an episode it's just a recap episode
only yeah yeah we paid for the art because we felt like it in half
i'm gonna tear you in half like a phone
but thurston after everything's now but said and done what adventure do you have for us today
well a long time ago and by that i mean several several sessions ago
a destined band of chuckle fucks made their way into the swamps of the solitude
where they met a lovely entrepreneur a grader of of interesting goods by the name of
zable zap and when they met zable zap the mosquito insected creature
uh that that operated a trading post they spent some time debating what they were going to do and
how they were going to approach their time in the solitude and so
after some some deliberations some spending of coins some discussions
our primary party decided to hire a guide and then here's some you know interesting side characters
with which to make the path they weren't choosing and so as we begin our session today
we're going to take a look at something a bit different than what we've seen in the past
well maybe not maybe not different yet but um if you remember our lovely little little
exploration map here well we have we have a new party now
we have a new group of adventurers that are heading out into the swamps of the solitude
investigating news of a destroyed caravan and of the presence of the the ominous children of the blaze
all while looking to find the twang folk of the deeper solitude so whilst our party started heading
southwest heading into the region that we we know to be the perfectite cube the b team takes the stage
cracking into the swamps of the solitude the b team is led by their intrepid leader
sir victrix vick will you explain to me how you have uh how you've led this group into the swamps
on your journey to of exploration well so speaking as the player and not victrix at the moment because
it'd be weird for victrix to address you directly thirst unless you want her threatening you which
she probably could that's gonna come anyways i'm waiting i'm i'm i'm expecting it fuck you
anyway she uh basically when the a team as it were the actual destined band of chuckle fucks
encountered her in there uh she got hired by them to go this way for a considerable sum of money
and that sum was used for preparing and collecting all the materials needed to go out on this little
trek and also to hire them so you know they wouldn't just ditch her because you know she's
built up a reputation it's kind of an ornery little shit and well seeing as how she knows the swamps
pretty damn well for the most part and can trek from one end to the other on whatever jobs she needs
to do in order to find whatever the hell needs finding or kill whoever the hell needs killing or
anything in between those two things that she does really well she got these people to more or less
be backup probably you know leave it to your imagination unless you want to like go into that
at some point but probably would have just found them in the bar i would presume
yes travelers and adventurers go to bars and so they just sort of set out on foot because they
needed to set out as early as possible and they unlike the a team don't have a million pit stops to
make so just going straight there but they are not all on foot no is on horse a horse yeah uh
that's that's the funny part isn't it is that you have to be this is age of empires too like infantry
formation where the cavalry has to go as slow as the infantry
ah but you must understand victor's eye always like to ride in luxury hurry on pepin and you see
pepin is behind him or pepin rather is behind him with a uh kind of like monty python patsy like
backpack carrying all of his stuff like just kind of slogging through the mud behind him and stuff
like hurry on pepin you will soon become a knight just as i all you have to do is continue to work
hard and make your bones not as crumble as old granddad did come along pepin and then he's uh
continuing on on his skeletal mount and uh it's really quite chipper about the thing about the
entire adventure and um and we'll look over to uh victrix and and be all like oh well there is
proprietor of money who has offered us this job uh how much exactly are we going to be compensated
for this task uh that's right pepin we do need money to help with the reparations
his bubbly nature is already making her rub her fucking temples in irritation as she walks along
look we came to terms that with the 700 that i've got each of you is going to be getting 150
150 you hear that yes that's right pepin i can finally buy you actual shoes i know your skeleton
feet have been rubbing across the aberrations of the very ground but i promise i will get you shoes
very soon jesus christ is fucking patsy
uh probably be walking along next to the other person who'd be good at wayfinding i presume that
would be uh dude what's your character man
hulk he expressly said hulk he expressly said that because the first name of his dwarf is so
fucking hard to follow that you can just call him dude dude yes that is one of my many epithets that
is correct although i've grown fond of a couple others like pest creepy little man in the corner
and stinky that seems to be one people often give bars but yes if we are looking for the way forward
to this caravan allow me i think i've got a good grip of these swamps been through them enough times
myself let's see what we got yeah you and me both come on especially you the uh freak out with the
heart you me yeah you come on we're getting off let's go oh but i would love to take in the scenery
look at this it's terrible
we're not being paid to do that i'm not paying you to do that
oh my an arctic lady i mean you don't have to trudge through the very mud and muck of here in the
swamp you can sit upon the horse here i will offer you my skin to mount for you pepin no i told you
you're not allowed on the horse you're not you're not a knight yet that is so kind of you
what's your horse's name shit chat what's my horse's name no there you go it's his name it's shit
sorry sorry i didn't need it it's okay i forgot chat what's the horse's name it's not shit i'm not naming
the horse shit okay no no no i like glue yeah we'll take glue zoran zoran wait wait zoran may i
you called your dog nugget it only makes sense for a being of considerable size bigger than him to be
shit no i will never i'm taking glue
please please my an arctic lady like come up like come up i'll help you get on top of glue
his name is glue is he made of glue no his skin was flayed off long ago to be used in such a manner
but now he serves as my noble steed did you keep it yes i do have a bottle yeah here you are
it shows a bottle of glue bottle of glue of glue the glue of wow glue from glue i will ride upon glue
thank you of course pepin i rhymed stairs oh don't complain you love this and pepin will come over
and he will just just go on all fours and kind of become a step stool form
he bends over and he will help takata will uh just kind of jump up onto the horse uh walking a little
bit like she's floating just a little with all the the robes and such and uh and bray or in sir
bray barrow will help takata up on top and um and he'll like pull pepin up out of the bucket
stuff and kind of like wash him off he'll be like excellent job pepin so do the ladies get to
ride on the horse is miss victrix going to ride upon glue i am not putting my ass on that bony piece
of shit i mean the saddle is nice and comfortable but don't worry my fair an arctic lady it's like
we just need to make sure that everyone can get through there safe and sound pepin the horn
or the trumpet rather yep begin to play it but hey
the tricks will grab the fucking trumpet out of his hand immediately what do you bring that is the
march of my army this ain't your army background music i would very much like to oblige
vick's going to just turn around and shove the trumpet into the hands of the king of moths
all this oh now what am i to do with this bobble my most fattiest fatbergs
that's not a nice thing to call people what the fuck did you just call me well it's just your
resemblance to the noble globster it's simply it's impossible to ignore but i understand you are
not used to being complimented i wouldn't either had i shared your appearance or charisma but
nevertheless i lay it at your feet
oh you know i had a premonition about this encounter of ours i had a dream you see one of
sparkling gray slabs of dragons and rot deep in the undercurrent at the swamp of the world
and i realized something my fine female
filthy holder
i realized that none of this will have anything to do with us
and thus our future is a clean slate
wow have you ever had one of those dreams where all your teeth fall out
yes it happened shortly before my teeth fell out
that's when i learned to always trust my dreams and also everything that i ever tell you
wow oh yeah that's amazing it is it is i am amazing
the tricks is fucking glaring at you she is she is mad and she is going to just raise up a hand
okay i'm going to give you an ultimatum right now
you can either forego the money that you are being promised or you are going to let me punch you in the stomach
that is such an interesting ultimatum
but if i choose the first
of course if you don't survive our
encounter
well perhaps i'll get your share
but the swamps are such a dangerous place
the tricks is going to punch him in the stomach now
give me a terrible
the girls are fighting
you went before pvp y'all
why is it every time
through the years we've done this
when it's pvp it's you two
i put i i loop my arm around speaker's shoulder
and we stand there and stare at you zorn and we say we know
well also punching him in the stomach with the other arm
no no no outside of the outside of the funnies we will be just good friends
i will however punch his character in the stomach
of course of course
presidential alert the girls are fighting
that's right pepin watch carefully as they kill each other
well my fine compare
it seems as if i am able to dodge to the side
and quickly wrap a strange hand around your own shoulder
now you better not miss this time
or else i'll have to seriously start considering your leadership
everyone give me a perception check
please we're moving
oh yeah i guess we're playing a game
everyone perception you said
everyone
hey 34
oh 31
i got a 20 because her fucking perception is terrible
so she has no reason
got a 22
hey guys how's it feel having a perception
or a wisdom score of plus two compared to vix of plus zero
feels pretty good
it's pretty good
takata
takata
yes
you both see something
as you are traveling through the muck of the swamp
you come across a rock
and on that rock something is engraved
a symbol
that stares out
towards the cloudy sky
what is the symbol
oh i see
it appears to be
some sort of
strange
crawdadomous shaped entity
with clickers
and clackers
oh
may his external carapace
may his pincers be his name
true
i need all of you to uh give me
oh god i need some kind of check to see if you believe in crawdadomous
um
why why are you doing this
yeah well i need all of you to give me a well save
you're a piece of shit
i want to fail
thurston enforcing a character flaw on me
am i bullying bullying corvictrix
i got an 18
oh my god
please please please
please
sir bray merrill got a 30
so my my thought was was whoever rolled the lowest right would
would would
so it's gonna be a roll off then
so it's gonna be a roll off then
yeah
i grip you by the throat it's going to be a it's going to be a roll off then
yeah okay fine
don't please don't
i'm gonna kill you
making me believe the fucking crawdad god
i mean listen i'll go two for two on crawdadomous
i know i know i know
all right
thurston
okay okay okay
wait that was just volley
why was that volley
so in the bottom right in foundry
you might want to right click your name
and uh
oh yes
switch off of volley
yeah yeah
which is weird because you were rolling as takana for a minute there
i was
so there was a four
and uh erndel ruled an 11
because it was a flat roll
so volley
oh my god sorry
no that's fine
that's fine
that's fine
volley believes in crawdadomous
volley believes so much
um no odo you um
you you most definitely
takana believes in the strange legend that is
crawdadomous
spirit of the swamps
this is this is the crawdadomous
has anybody got a coin to leave for him
oh of course i'll carry a couple ones in my pack here
wonderful
dude will reach into his knapsack and pull out a piece of silver
thank you very kindly dude we must ensure that we do not invoke his ire
you are a hundred percent collect
correct
sorry i'm a bit displaced here
you are you're absolutely right
we would not want to anger this god especially given that it has not yet burst forth into the firmament yet
please cry as long be his claws be may he sever the firmament of this world
i would advise all of you to leave an offering to this god trust me it will pay dividends in the future for all of you
praise be to his carapace i lay down a silver piece
that is what they say i have to do
yes yes this is exactly what happened in my dream you see
and i'm going to uh quickly walk over to where the silver was laid
and then just uh while distracting people just pick up the coin that was just laid and put it back down
i too have left a tribute but look already your tribute has been accepted by crottatimas
surely our undertaking is blessed by that most delightful of divine mud bugs
you're trying to trick a god that doesn't exist
bray will come up and just snag his trumpet back from the king of moths and then put it in there
which i like we will we will grant we will grant his holy carapace that of the that of the gift of
music that and the trumpets very expensive
what a wonderful idea everybody loves music pepin i understand this is part of your family heirlooms
and it's something that you hold very dear but we did make sure we survived this swamp
you'll deal with it come on pepper
it continues
all right um your your band carries on into the swamp
um for for the following day this continues
um all of you who have who have traveled um you feel yourselves you know getting a bit worn down
by the day even your old creaking skeletal bones can everyone give me a fortitude save but can dude
and takata give themselves a plus two circumstance bonus yay yeah come on fucking thing i've got the most
points and go 21 i have a thing here thurston this is a circumstance bonus of my little window thing
of basic undead benefits can i have an undead benefit of my plus one yes yeah thanks
yeah dude's okay 29 jesus christ
so i think all of you except the king of moths who's starting to get like a bit winded from this
journey or keeping up this brisk pace that's what he that's what he fucking gets for not
paying tribute to a god that has not yet finished being born
nobody got on vick's case about it and that's just fine we didn't steal the tribute sir sir
sir mods yeah yes my my oseous companion your flesh seems to be winded are you fine
i'm i'm fine as you can see i'm just soaking in the swamp
would you like any assistance sir king of moths i can provide you with a mount if needed
no i'm fine
i can assist you on your way a king should not have the walk on this very ground
how do people live like this vick is going to lean on her pole and just like stick her hind end
on her just lean towards the king of moths like what's the matter don't got any lung space under all
that big brain ears you're lucky i'm completely without shame or else i might be somewhat
embarrassed right now
oh god it smells like apricots speaker bouncing your audio is a nightmare
oh my god every time you speak it's either you're under 25 decibels or you're over
plus 25 decibels i do it all for you baby i do it all for you
it's all for you little damien i get a little closer to the mic
you're fine i understand what the whole the problem is it's just swamp air yet
actually you've never breathed it before yeah come on what's the deal
or i'm just used to the clean running sewers of outset is all i tell you nature does not agree
with me any place without a nice urban square for which you can rile within the under city
why it's barely a place for me
true there's not much creature comforts out here but
what else would a creature need but the comfort of the natural world
are we stopping for a rest rest rest i know i can keep going for hours for hours as you can see
are you sure you seem to be leaving a bit of yourself behind there a couple different places too
oh my dwarven companion why all this talk about me let's talk about you and your strange metal arm
let's talk about getting back on the road and stop wasting our time with mr winded over here
sir king of mars if i can come with a suggestion oh yes allow to ride it right at the pond pepin's
back he can carry you the rest of the way oh i'm not sure could i really impose i mean
i'm not that i'm not that ill he grabs the king of boss nearly effortlessly because he's like a buff
skeleton and uh and he goes and he was working with pepin as you were dying and uh basically
adjusted his pack to be like an impromptu seat and so he puts you if you allow me just
of course of course yeah he just goes like puts you in there like it's like it's a seat and going
now hold still i have to bind you so you don't run away and he starts wrapping you with a bunch of rope
all to the findings and stuff and he looks over the pepin and he's like uh very good job pepin you'll
be coming a fine squire day by day soon you will be a knight after all of these burdens
i sir bray i can't help but thank you
this is entirely unnecessary i am ever so grateful and then i just look at guilt blurb and i just go
works every fucking time i like the idea that both takata and the king of moths are now on the
whole everyone's going to be on the horse yeah everyone that was exactly i want to make i want
to make a no no he's not on the horse he's on pepin's back yeah i'm on pepin oh okay he's being
carried by the squire right and i want to make a narrative declaration oh boy all right like a
narrative declaration i want i want pepin like the the ride on pepin to be so uncomfortable it
makes him more sick oh god oh no and now that he's bound
you're giving him exhaustion
we're all friends here everybody we're all friends it's super rocky pepin's constantly having to adjust
the pack for the added weight you know pepin just have to lean left and right he stumbles a bunch he
falls in the side and everything's bad all right you know what after about an hour of this
i'm gonna make a thievery check to try to just untie my binds
the 17 do it no oh my god
so
watch as the king of mars is just slowly cutting through it and then he just drops one of his
files in the dirt and that was like wrist is like even more fucking caught up and it was a really nice
file and he looks like i found a file somebody must be camping nearby
it's going to steal it from him that must that must be it you you must you must give it to me so i can
make sure that it's where i came from because i am victrix is gonna walk right up to the king of
maw's with the with the file that she has now snatched from bray's hand it's gonna dangle it like
this this is yours fell out of your pocket oh yes yes yes that now i see it more closely
i recognize it as mine
she's going to like gingerly stuff it into his mouth you will
yeah yep yep there you go it's all yours take you will die in three months you will die right
now if we don't keep a move on we'll just have to see which prophecy comes true now won't we
yeah let's come on and we'll we'll carry on i think we're done shitposting i'm sorry
i lean down to sir bray i think they are going to be very good friends
oh the bestest of buddies i find my my an arctic mistress
jesus christ all right uh well that that definitely uh that was a lot
yeah this uh this journey through the swamp continues um you seem all very eager to continue
pressing on so so let's let's press on shall we let us oh oh hang on i want to preempt something
chat don't say poor vick please do not say poor vick she's earned this she sucks okay just keep that
in mind all right you carry on for some way um dare i ask who who is doing like the checking for
tracks and survival here let me check mine pepin all right is he doing it a penalty because he is a
funny man i don't want to volunteer on hulky but i think no dude will absolutely be checking to see
if we're going the right way and trying to track our quarry yeah pepin will help he will aid
oh okay so here's a here's a great question who has survival because i was the one thing i didn't get
on vic not i yeah not me wait wait wait did none of us take survival no pepin has highest survival of
all of us yes yes what the joke is my survival yeah my survival's two who what's everyone's survival
true this is this is the this is the party that our main party hired to go tracking in the swamp i think
it says more about our main party than it does about this one yes hostility poor poor pepin
yeah that's pepin's default state it's
and and yet pepin okay i i should should clarify and this is probably a stupid question for me to
ask but let me ask it anyways is pepin doing this survival tracking with the king of mods still strapped
to him oh no i'll say i'll say um just so speak and actually play his character and i can stop being a
piece of shit uh i'm pretty sure speaker got off or if he wants to he got out of the rope he slipped
out of the ropes of course it's the other more expensive file that i used yeah i mean i didn't
want to disable his characters my bad it's funny it's funny all exist for the very funny it's a bit
call her the bit the way i'm committed to her
yeah so i don't know if anyone wants to i don't know if we're doing other exploration actions
travel through because if so um sir bray will be just keeping an eye on things like just
perception and just keep an eye for any dangers i have to look up what the fuck we can actually do
yeah i've forgotten the table for what it was that we can do while exploring
all right i can i gotta bring up my character sheets don't look don't look don't look don't look
i gotta pop out all these characters don't look if you look you die it explodes you
here i'll pop that oh there you go um for those who needed it um
so if any of you have certain individual actions you would want to be doing so in this case we we
certainly have pepin who is tracking
i think that'll be technically mine because he's my companion oh yeah i guess i guess yeah yeah
i'll be tracking technically up
oh let's see what can i do here i could repeat a spell to inspire courage but none of us are attacking
anyone except victrix into the king of moths of course one on things in case we need it uh
or i have inspire defense that uh that gives it a saving throws just in case we need it for
because actually some good stealth so i could do avoid notice
i will be repeating a spell and i'll be doing inspire defense
oh okay okay um and then um let me just double check here oh um his inspire yeah it's a cantrip so
yeah you can yeah cool um and then um vic is going to be uh avoiding notice uh is the dude also avoiding
notice uh the dude will be searching oh yeah okay yeah you will cue all all right um and
what about our king and mods oh yes i suppose i should help um i believe i will be detecting magic
perfect okay awesome uh can i get a perception check from the dude then yes you can i will abide
27 cool nice um so between you and pepin um you eventually find your way into a slightly forested area
um that that that has a bit of a winding path um that the path seems to go off uh by a by a nearby
like not quite a ditch but like a like a dug section of ground here uh but one thing that you all notice
as you approach uh and the dude is the one to pick up on this is there's like floating embers in the air
and like there's not really a noticeable smell of smoke just because everything kind of has that
damp swamp air to it but you you do notice little flickering orange embers on the air as you are uh
as you're approaching this area and pepin sort of points out uh an area a bit further ahead
where it looks as though there are um it looks as though there's like a set of trees off from this
this path um and kind of mumbles a uh and points towards it
what's that pepin
you mean things are on fire up ahead
things are burning at a rapid rate
is it a forest fire or is it someone causing fire
left left your left hand if it just looks like a forest fire your right hand it looks like someone's
burning things
like shakes both hands like no none of that
fucking pepin all right
keeps going
he just keeps walking all right excellent all right come on we gotta investigate that at least
it's our goal on the way to where we're going
yeah um so as as you approach um you can see uh and and dude this will be you as well uh there's a
a few things first of all the king of moths you start to detect some magic in the air
it seems like they're actually give me um an arcana check please
very well
arcane arcane arcane
ring roll 20.
oh um okay it's enough for with a three on the dice i'm sorry that's enough for you to tell that
there is like little motes of conjuration around but that's about it
ah something is being conjured in the swamps around us
i can't quite detect exactly what
could you try harder
let me try
could you do a better job
you are not helping us keep quiet can i can i can i try again no you get one shot at it you don't
get to just sit there being like i try i try it speaker
yeah none of that i'm afraid that there's some powerful force blocking my magics stopping me from
scrying yet again
into your own self
why don't you shut the hell up
sorry bits are coming in my head and it's just coming off as a dick i'm so sorry
why are you apologizing vic's supposed to be worse
it's fine
all right so as as you you continue
fucking heading towards this with pepins sort of like pointing from behind your steam
um
you reach the clearing where there's embers clearly dancing in the air everywhere
oh yeah i need to do the hang on oh yes oh nice
oh good oh no
that was a 14. oh that's a complication if ever i've seen one
play the complication song you like beat boxes
that's the weirdest beat box i've ever heard
yeah like that good job peppa
oh okay um
i like this one we're gonna use this one from uh
disurio which is yes but actually no
so uh the character second guesses themselves uh looking like they don't know what they're doing
um so your next roll that you make your next check you make if it's a success you have to
to reroll it because you need to show you can do even better
gotcha okay as as you are you were going through this vic and like like stamping on like twigs and
just like cracking of like wood pieces but as you're approaching you now
see up ahead is the destroyed remnants of a caravan um there are trees around here
and you all sort of approach this area i'm gonna actually move us onto a map here
uh vix by the way is not like cringing whenever she makes a loud noise she's just
owning it and trying to look like a girl boss it's fine
yeah absolutely um you should all have vision on this so
bottom left yeah bottom left let me know if you don't have vision okay um so what you can see
is there are like small brush fires here and then embers in the air there are carts that appear to be
turned over tossed and broken the remnants of a camp here that looks like it's been it's been
ransacked in in some ways with goods and equipment spilled all about
what would you like to do
i mean
fuck vick's gonna take take point she's gonna go right ahead
yeah absolutely don't give a shit if she blunders into a trap at this point she wants to kill someone
i don't suppose they left anything too valuable behind well that's what we'll find out
keep on your toes this certainly is a natural brush fire this deep in the solitude
bray would look at the king of mars mentioning even looting anything and go you would go you
would you would go to any sort of just several belongings along dead and defile it of course not
sir knight i was merely thinking in anticipation of additional thieves why not they don't need it
we should be looting all of this my thoughts exactly sir knight high five
hey hey hey zoran what what yeah what is uh what is bray's alignment
i i i didn't set a lot because i i didn't bring that alignment's dumb you know wow that's fail
i think if i had if i had to put something because of religion rules instead would be neutral evil
that's very oh my god wow same alignment as vick that is actually hilarious i also appreciate though
can i just say i just opened your character sheen i love that it's a hundred and age 157
six foot two weighs 17 pounds okay i look this shit up all right the skeleton weighs very little
but with all the plate armor and stuff he he's like normal you know your weight is what your character
is nude yes yeah yeah so vick's about your pounds yeah i was just saying it's amusing
he is a skeleton of of a modest 17 pounds vick is a tall asshole of around 200 the king of moths is like
five the king of moths is uh six foot five and 122 pounds jesus christ very nice he is an
emaciated weird fellow no wonder he got sick from walking
well did he get sick or did he just want to ride on the horsey god only knows
those bray will order pepin to follow closer and like stay close pepin if any spookies come up
remember we give him the old london special and we stab them where is london yeah what the hell's a
london i'm gonna have to write god damn it and he continues i'm gonna have to write london into
existence now thanks sorry this world has become infinitely worse because of the existence of
london good job if you sign up for our patreon you will get all the lore about london
london well buy the london dlc and it's a shadow of london jesus it's a new expansion where did we get
the risen son of god we're going to blood grind the entire continent the entire continent of tyne is
like a small island nation somewhere off of the coast of malta thurston what do i lose
give me a perception check please thank you she she loots she loots uh with a
23 23 um okay so so you come up to the the first caravan that seems to be sort of knocked over
there's um two wooden boxes on their sides in there um which are like clearly of like clearly there and
the like the locks have been broken off um and when you open them up uh you can see that they're
filled with gold coins uh she is going to quietly close the lid and just push the box off real quick
is there any way she could theoretically spirit away this container quietly uh yeah you could give
me a stealth check to like kind of hide that a little bit or yeah yeah stealth i think hide it on
her person or is it too big for that um i mean you might not be able to hide the box but you might be
able to you know do a little discreet let's uh shift some of the coins away actually a thievery
would be better here if you've got it can i do it can i do stealth at a penalty yes i'll give you
stealth at a minus minus exactly like a sleeper yeah it'll be minus nine um yeah no no you didn't
have to follow my suggestion yeah minus well if you didn't want to follow it you shouldn't have said it
i just wanted to thought it was funny i'm sorry i'm minus what fuck you
roll the roll the steel from the party check funny haha minus what at minus two for the stealth
you're you're it's more at this point about you kind of like trying to stay unnoticed while your
your part your party mates bicker a bit and you're like do do do do do money for the team
okay um what would brain notice i'm going to say that if any of you have
oh gosh like if any of you have a honestly no no that that isn't enough like just passive
passive perception from everyone's just gonna kind of in fact as you're doing this victrix there's
like the sound of kachunk and like the the the carriage kind of like falls a bit into the mud and
you hear the jangle of coins the box that you weren't grabbing the second one falls down
all of you hear the clatter and see gold coins spill out the side all right so the moment i see this
i'm going to cast uh tentacular limbs and i'm going to have my hand shoot out into a strange tentacle
wrap around the lids of these cases and then just drag them into the middle
all right oh this is going to turn around and save face and say nice catch moth man oh you're very
welcome i'll be keeping track of our gold and spoils uh call me the official treasurer if you
don't yeah keep track of this one too she'll toss the box that she's holding directly in front of him
not at him she's not going to do that just yet all right let's see one two skip a few 99 100
and i'll be going through all the gold coins greedily yeah there are 487 gold coins in here
and i will uh well we don't have the people's this is the opposite of the people's loot
uh pretty and cap i'm not gonna lie i kind of i kind of proposed a name for this group and in the
rot grind discussion as the rot bastards the rot bastards so can we can we have the bastards loot
i'm on it i like the rot bastards gray will look to um look down to the king of boss and he'll be like
you know i very much expect for me to get paid after this adventure and his like helmet kind of
turns and his eyes we kind of get like that kind of like that red glow in the middle of them
and a black background behind you and he and in the horse stops and it's just he just kind of looks
like a like a like a nazgul kind of like silhouette type of thing and and he goes like and i very much
hope nothing's going to happen to the gold sir bray i am a criminal not a moron of course i
spit this evenly between my compares good then i very much hope that they will be in my pocket
soon and then he'll just talk too long they will my friend oh yes there's an ambush we should keep
our voices down we've already fucked up that ship is really bad it's staying quiet out here
oh we're supposed to be staying quiet i mean i assume there's a it's a caravan that got knocked
off the side of the road and looted burned and probably everybody dead we probably should be
keeping our voices down but it doesn't look like we're going to be doing that today well i'll be
quite honest friends i haven't gotten a good night's sleep since this dreadful anarchic rituals
well i may be a little cross-wired while we're adventuring in these swamps i hope you don't mind
that's fine bring him on over to me i'm looking forward to getting my glaive wet i don't well it
takes all kinds to make a world doesn't it i must remind you all that i noticed conjuration magics
the people behind this little soiree may not be too far in fact thurston would you allow me to do
another arcane check i will now yeah absolutely i just i'm pretty i'm pretty cool you know yeah
we all love thurston right guys we love thurston he's a great guest master he cares for us he
butts his ass off for us he's not a hostile dm at all and that's what he always plays about our
characters and their progression okay so so you know king of mods he rolled a 33 that's pretty cool you
know i i also just moved his token up a little bit as he's looking around getting getting the arcane
energy totally not a hostile move on my part you know he's looking around he's you know kind of kind of
seeing the broader picture of the magics here i've also applied the fatigued condition to him
just because he reminded me to do that again not hostile at all um and then generous game master
so cool you know um and with all of that uh as you begin looking around you see the crackling um energy
in the air the embers here and as you start to focus around and then sort of look through your
you're detecting magic site and sort of peering into the woods here you can see up to the north
there is this like ditch in the ground um you can see that there's like the camp sort of around you
you haven't gone through all the goods yet but as you're as you're looking you see small little flames
that dance and seem to take on form and as though like prompted by the shouting from earlier that
absolutely was not the king of moth's fault let's let's be clear can we please be clear about that
everyone yeah very clear it's my fault yeah um but something is taking a shape inside of
though the like the woods and around you there's about four of these beings that seem to be like
crackling into existence um and you see them they appear to be like entities of fire but they're
composed of burning matter from like the swamp and the destroyed caravan they have like a a wide
sort of like mouth almost with a single eye and two tiny little pseudopod like arms that are made
entirely of lashing flame there's some art for everybody oh look at him he's a little guy
yeah and um so you see all of this king of moths because you know you see it uh in fact you're so
amazingly inspired by seeing this my king i'm actually gonna let you use that 33 for
your initiative here ah yay such such much generosity i'm also going to allow vick and um
vick and the dude to use stealth because they have been you know fairly attempting even though
vick had previously fumbled a bit of a stealth this is sort of like they're still being generally
quiet um but i'm gonna get perception for initiative as these uh these flame entities take
form and seem to uh seem to uh seem to be jittering towards you maybe a moment i'm looking at
something so braymo roll a 14 on his uh initiative with an 18 initiative believe it or not thurston
i'm actually going to just do a regular ass initiative because i can use battlefield surveyor to improve it
so um fair enough i'll give you a 30. very nice very good okay uh so then um
the king my king you see these four entities two of them are sort of in the woods by you uh to your east
and then two more have sort of formed one at the opposite end of that ditch um the other one closer to
you uh and they you you hear them as they form and they kind of like but they're like giggling with
like the sounds of crackling flames behind them well normally i would be enchanted then i looked at my
spells list and i realized i have fireball prepped four times
well fireball uh yeah yeah that's okay i should have known i put a hand on your shoulder and going
i feel you wizard wizard moment wizard moments spy moments i got i have more really good fireballs
it's probably good it'll do me all right uh i'm going to just kind of look around i'm going to notice
oh i should mention this we are surrounded by flame elementals uh servitrix friends protect your wizard and
i am going to move to the back and i am going to cast a spout
um and so i'm going to place my five foot burst i'll place it here which i don't want him to zoom
at me i'll place it here okay and i believe this little man will have to make me a dc 25 reflex check
sure will okay sec
watcha oh i will succeed it but just all right so you take half damage if i'm not mistaken uh yeah
it's a basic so yeah okay how does your sound go is it just like a no it's like uh very suddenly like
the ground around the spirit begins to shimmer and fade before briefly turning into a like a huge
geyser that then sinks right back into a rippling ground returning into normal i'm glad you can
waterboard at will i can water well that that will mess it up as the like as the spout hits it and it
sort of like recoils back it's cackling stuffing briefly thurston since that's a water attack could i
convince you to do more damage uh no you can't because these are things that are made up of the
swampy matter and fire so they do have water kind of in them already wait which one were you targeting
you were targeting that one up there yes okay because i don't want the closer one to see this
and run right at me yes gotcha who is next all right that's it for you speaker mm-hmm that's my turn
click beginning counter uh all right we're all called these here oh yeah urnville b teamer because
look i when i had to set some of this stuff up i didn't you had to even finish your character so i
think the tokens just did that it's fine all right uh vic is going to see the one closest to us and
not because she wants to be the tank but mostly just because she likes violence uh she is going to
sudden charge okay this guy hit her billy it's a fighter you're a fighter that means you can move
up you move twice and then strike yes so i do that mm-hmm okay so i stride twice i have to cannot drag
myself irritatingly oh well you're probably
sudden charge right up to him i end within melee range of him outside of that so i can make an attack
oh no okay and she literally just like tucks her glaive under her arm and sprints directly at him
before raising up the glaive and bringing it down at a nat 20 on the target
okay that that'll that'll crit with deadly and all sorts of other deadly da evocation forceful magical
reach i'll roll the critical damage oh that's such a huge bit of damage jesus christ
oh my god okay okay so i actually have a question for you yeah you have reach right correct so did
you want to charge right up to it uh yes because i have a plan okay because with you now with your
crit specialization you can move it five feet in a direction of your choice correct um
now you're also a fighter so the reason i asked about the reach is because if you stay at reach and
then push it back if it tries to engage with you you get an attack of opportunity okay sure we'll do
that i'll move one back but it's tried too yeah yeah it's pretty cool i was gonna say you can't
shove it out into attack of opportunity but if it and if it goes back in into the threatened space it
wouldn't trigger it but now but that's what i mean because it's at reach right yeah i don't know
like push it back anyway 44 with the big damage on bleed okay uh well i'm just gonna
click this and i think it'll work oh yeah oh yeah equals all right that's uh that's a good amount of
damage that i still have an attack i still have an action left and i think i also have to apply the
persistent bleed which is not she she like literally just comes up oh it's lifts up the
spear slams it down and then twists it a bit before lifting up the thing still attached to the glaive
and then slamming it back down on the ground probably i would say yeah one hex away well not not in that
direction okay yeah one hex away you heft that thing hundreds of feet we're playing starship
combat or battle attack oh god no because i don't want him i don't want him out of reach because now
i'm going to exacting strike him oh do you want okay so so then you just wouldn't push him okay
oh i could can i move him there is that still in range um for 10 feet yeah there maybe up there
because i want him further away from on the yeah on the box that's fine yeah so she'll slam him down
on the box and the box will splinter and turn into a bunch of embers she doesn't care about these cute
noises she's going to exacting strike it uh make a controlled attack make a strike and i'm just going
to do it because it's a follow-up uh do i have i don't have enough ap to do any flourishes all my
flourishes are getting sudden charge probably has a flourish trait so just make sure are they're good
sudden yeah sudden charge does have a flourish but none of my other strike does not and okay
you're good you're good yeah he's good yeah okay and actually i am going
i'm actually going to instead of doing exacting strike i'm going to do dragging strike
oh there we go i'm going to pull him further away ideally so i'm just going to make a map minus five
uh you have to move it towards you though do i yeah target move pull them closer okay in that
case i'll just hit it yeah i'm just gonna whack it there's no point in getting fancy it's just a
little guy i'll just i'll just whack him yeah see if i can whack him quack
that that'll that'll whack that's a hit and i will damage one two three and i roll up still a pretty
good amount of damage hit that's really good yeah okay 14. she's just she's just laying into it oh yeah
she gets to kill things so infrequently also um the the funny thing is it didn't apply here but on top
of everything chat this fire would have been bleeding um would have would have been bleeding
had it um been able to bleed but fire don't bleed so all right uh chakata ah yes it is time uh
question for you thurston uh for my uh inspires and my dirge of doom um i have uh the feat that gives
you increased cast range uh does that count on emanation spells or just ones that have a stated
range uh so that is from which ability uh that is from the um reach spell i think reach spell yeah
reach spell feat um does that synergize with the the bard cantrips or no
range by 30 feet oh yeah uh what that means is that say for example you have a
range target that sets 30 feet to go through you can extend that to go forward uh but if you mean
emanation that's that would be widened that would yeah though so okay okay thank you thank you i'm
sorry to answer for you thurston my bad no no you're good you're good you're good i was actually just
like quadruple checking the floor bridge so you're good all righty in that case uh toccata is going to
begin her turn by pulling open the front of her coat uh her long cloak rather and revealing that
her torso is this kind of strange empty space where one might expect to see a stomach there is only a
great hole through her center with these twisted bits of sinew that form into the strings of a lyre
uh as she begins to pluck with her strange distended arms uh i am going to start off with an inspire
courage uh and i believe that that does hit everybody without moving yeah yeah yeah it does hit vic uh so
yeah everybody inspire your courage she is courageous now i know i'll apply that inspired uh and then
i am going to use my remaining two actions to uh point at vic tricks sing out a little note and cast haste
she's just grinning under her mask because vic is as gay as she much as he is an asshole bro
i've applied the quickened condition yes and that should reach because this one actually has a
specified range yeah
and toccata is just going to start this this haunting dirge plucking at the uh the lyre in her stomach
and that'll be my turn
nice nice that's not horrifying or soulsy at all
all right i got a i got a little buddy who's gonna go
just a little little buddy littlest man littlest fireman who's gonna
head this way he's gonna come south from from along the forest edge
he's gonna target pepin no
and then not pepin no no and then he will throw a ball of fire at little pepin
jesus christ jesus christ my fucking pepin i'll fucking kill you
i'm focusing all of my healing on pepin fuck you guys
it's just another step of learning to be a night pepin
well let's let's deal the damage to see if he lives to hear that or not oh god oh he's fine he's
fine he's moving yeah yeah yeah yeah he's got his persistent fight he's on fire now um yeah he took
some damage he's on fire you know you know don't let any of my stuff burn
i still have my manuscripts i like to read questioning head on fire
oh my gosh uh okay uh there we go i'll show i'll show the health in this case for the little boy
uh so that was that fire uh then we get the fire that is by you victrix um
it is going to
like kind of adjust up here moves north kind of scuttling away from you and then it turns towards
you it sees you as this towering inspired quickened creature and it looks at you and then it belches
it belches out a 30 foot line of fire which will hit both you and the king of moths so i require
a um two reflex saves from one one from each of you i should say okay oh dear yeah it did a
charge right attack aha 17. that will be a failure for the king i almost get a 20. that will be a
failure for both of you yeah i literally watched the die it just kind of skidded out from the side
on the four and didn't roll at all so yeah that's a roll right no it's more of a that's more of an
electric slide okay and then i will do the same damage okay so both of you take 10 points of fire
damage is this this little elemental goes up and just belches out a blast of flame from its mouth
towards both of you um that's its action then the one that is in the spout um so does that mess up the
ground by it speak or is that no no i just there because i don't know how to delete it ah well i see
okay good to know um it is uh top left there's a ruler icon click that and then you think like hover
over it press delete like hover over and press delete and then back to the park oh god oh god
uh this one will advance up and you know what it will do it will toss a ball of flame at pepin you
motherfucker pepin no pepin has taunt my boy he's generating all the enmity turn off your tank stance
uh dude you're going to position himself accordingly i'm going to see and keep our party members alive
i have taunt on my pet
put your pet in defensive stance not aggressive i'm trying to put him on passive the ai's part
you're ruining this old war raid
i get what you mean dude you're up uh dude is going to position himself accordingly i'm going to see and keep our
party members alive a little bit longer i mean pepin pepin alive you mean pepin yeah because
he's the only person well besides gotta keep alive who has shown any level of enmity towards nobody else
i mean i'm more referring to the fact that these things aren't going to be killing vic or the king
of maws anytime soon most likely not but we can't take any chances oh no vic's just gonna kill it's
fine yeah shitting out 40 damage at a time it'll be okay don't expect that many crits okay
all right so scudril is going to saunter over to this cracked and wrecked part by this tree
but i assume is a way uh and take aim at this little guy right here who went before me in the initiative
order which one uh it's the i'm targeting it right now oh yeah it's the one uh top right of uh that
there we go yeah cool cool cool uh judrelia is going to levy his golden hand towards this little
fire sprite kind of squared up using his thumb as a rangefinder and pull from his knapsack
one big metal tube screwing it on to his index finger
as he fires off his clan pistol nice oh it's literally finger guns he's too stylish
oh hold on one second i'm not using range weapons by the way on your character i'm stealthy
did you want to be crawling are you like solid snaking this we have commenced virtuous mission i
am here in the swamps okay this is basically snake eater yeah you know how you had that sniper in in
you know metal gear 3 called the end this guy is called the beginning yep so true bestie
all right if i could do that the pew pew okay 30 will uh will hit yes sorry i'd like to point out the
the range strike uh descriptor here yes yes for podcast it says range strike clan handgun get it because
it's a literal handgun
okay please roll the 360 no 60 damage plus bleeding emotional damage
now takes one d6 persistent bleed it they don't bleed sadly it's
haven't you ever heard of entropy it's heat being leached off it's basically they are immune to bleed
hulky i don't want you i make a narrative declaration that hope you stop hulky hulky wait please before
you go too much further on that remember in divinity original sin if you made things bleed fire they
bled fire i never played to me i didn't know that okay well don't do that
uh so you moved and then loaded your gun and fired right was that the correct all right it's the end of
the dudes the doodle all right now our next little buddy he's gonna do a
double move to get close y'all he's gonna run in front of his buddy and you know what he's gonna
do with his last third action you i swear to god hey you know what no i want to i want to make a
clarification okay i have two i have undead mastery because i'm currently have two companions and i got
up for my free dedication thing to go for it i only have one no fuck you and you have no villain points
so fuck you and and i can only have one act of companion out so you hitting pepin is illegal
that just sounds like you didn't do your taxes right zoran
it sounds like you fumbled the rules more than
this is like the fucking chewbacca defense right here my current active companion is my undead mount
enduring battle i can only have one active companion as the other one is on the sidelines and pepins on the
sidelines okay redirect those attacks that went to pepin to go directly to the
do the fucking natural physics of the universe prevent pepin from existing while you're riding
on your horse i'm bullshitting here and i need you to be on my side i'm gonna fucking shit myself
get on with it it's like but technically it is true but i may okay with pevin getting shot at
like i just like the idea of it's like you're with your two friends and so then you get jumped
by a robber but because of how companion rules work one of them just disappears he does that he does
the peace sign and just slowly yeah yeah no all right sir bray it is now my turn when
sir bray goes with the music of the anautic lady i shall avenge your damaged bones pepin by my burning
bones you shall be avenged and then bre and then uh sir bray marrow yeah just off heaven and then he just
he just charges forth and uh i'm gonna have victrix and the king of maz deal with the two on the right
uh but he's gonna try to start doing some tanking stuff but he's gonna he's gonna move a total through
pepin space i can move through allied spaces he's gonna go a total of and because i uh because of my
advancement on the uh thing i do not have to automatically i don't have to spend an action
until my mount to move i just they just naturally get a free one so they go hop up and they can only
move one for one single action so for my mount right up to there and since i have a support benefit
for the mount which is your skeletal mount strikes fear when it charges which i'm going through until
the start of your next turn uh if you're riding your skeletal mounts and move at least 10 feet on
the action before your attack the creature damaged by the attack becomes frightened one
or frightened to the attack was a critical hit this is emotional fear mental effect so
going right up to this uh fire elemental that's to the north of us
and as he's going through i have a lance uh so bray mary has a lance and like thank you pepin i
know this lance was part of your family for many years and killed them but you don't have to be
fearful of the lance and he just works just pretty much strikes into uh the fire elemental that that
hit his dearest pepin to the north i want to strike uh him with a lance i have inspire courage pones
supreme all that fun stuff stab i got 10 on a die for a total of 27 is that a hit that's a hit
awesome and i'll go ahead and roll damage as a total of 17 damage on him i have a question you had do
you get extra damage for that uh i would get deadly uh jousting d6 because i am on a horse that was
what i was gonna say yeah i was looking for yeah i get jousting because i'm on a horse i got one
extra damage all right six uh i didn't i didn't do anything else um i'm just checking all the other
stuff i want to quickly call attention uh to in in the actual game chat if i could have all of our
players look at sir bray marrow's like icon when he's rolling he's very tiny it's very tiny uh there
is also some additional fear there's no okay not hitting with that weapon so i could automatic
fear a result but that happens and um
yeah so for the specification there's the clear it up with you it says until the start of your next
turn for the fear thing i soon next turn if i hit him i apply a fear effect just to make sure
or is it which ability was that for i have the support benefit for my undead mature skeletal mount
it says your skeletal mount strikes fear when it charges until the start of your next turn
if you are riding your skeletal mount move at least 10 feet in the action before your attack
any creature damaged by the attack becomes frightened one so i assume it's now yeah yeah
yeah so that guy would be frightened one gotcha and as he is frightened one i got my i got my move
struck him and now i am going to demoralize him i'm going to look at him and look in the eye going
my friend the king of maul's will make sure you're you're dows by the by the watery magic of
something i did i had a bit and it died anyway fuck you piss blast you got it you you tell him
the king of maul's will piss all over you i want this little fire guy's like
and i'm like my last time to demoralize
that is probably the second most disturbing thing i've seen today and i have intimidating prowess
which gives me a plus one that's one of my feats and bam roll a 12 on the die for 30 that is a
critical success um but he will be frightened too so he's a total fighting three
and because of my fear aura and stuff and everything that i have uh he cannot go lower than
uh fear one anybody within me i think uh 30 feet so that's my turn sorry i'm complicated
i i promise i'm not going to piss on you though that's one thing i won't do
i'm going to kill you he hurt my pepper i'm going to move my character i'm going to move
my character there we go i'm going how do you do that i need to know how to do that yeah uh
good question and the fuck what are you gonna do if you all recall tentacles had emerged from my body
to grab the chest and one such tentacle is going to come to here
is going to begin gathering in magics as the king of moths raises his hand and allows the
strange eye patterns on his cloak to begin shimmering and now he's just going to call out
full and i'm going to cast lightning bolt from this position uh using my reach smell from tentacles
tentacle hands what is it tentacle something other it's not tentacle limbs tendicular limbs
so you're trying to cast lightning bolt right like the line spell yes uh you're it or it originates
from you oh but i can't extend my reach to 20 feet to deliver the spell no uh it's not how that works
uh that would basically that would be like extending it because it originates from you
so it's you in a line you don't cast it from somewhere and direct it in that case
uh you're gonna line up if you run if you run yeah you can like move adjacent to it and blast it as
well remember it doesn't get right i can't i can't move to here though oh i can move i only have 25
five inch move wait weren't you in range though no oh i wasn't that's why i needed to use my
tentacular limbs uh if i cast a line i'm only gonna hit two that's not worth it
um i guess i'll just go back and i'll just cast spout again um
um i will cast spout my mighty spout uh oh god oh please here we go behold um
oh yeah that'll get both of those fools they could make me a leaflet save i will do the weakened one
first oh my god and then i'll do the other one that's gonna burst him like a bimple
so uh roll sweet sweet dimaggio please all righty then big pile that's gonna be 15. so
uh you destroy the first one as the the the water comes rushing up cleaning away the little filthy
fire and it goes as it like melts into the swamp and the last of its flames are taken away most of
its energy having already been uh banished down by victrix and the other one takes a solid hit as
it's sort of washed to the side side like all right and then i will use my movement to come bravely
over here cool and that'll be my turn hey good turn you did a lot of damage yeah yay
a lot of damage blasto all right rand bill uh why did my why did the buff wear off
shouldn't have i don't know why let me put that on you all right uh let me think
honestly it's it's simple enough she's just gonna move up one that went off because that only lasts
a round you have to do lingering composition for inspire courage let's say so it's already a new
round oh it doesn't carry on to the top of my turn uh yeah it does it should it didn't that was the
problem yeah okay my bad i'm sorry yeah it automatically gets rid of it but i think the turn order of ours was
weird at the start but it should be good wow i actually can't move just because my system's
lagging a little bit i don't know where where do you want to go to if how do i move with the with the
measure tool uh are you trying to like drag over and press space and aimed yeah it's just it doesn't
look like you can drag because i couldn't do that before it doesn't matter i'll move into range of this
guy yeah and i am going to swing i'll just swing swing at him okay go over a swing swing that's why
oh not with it just i'm gonna narrow i'm just gonna re-roll that with a hero point hero quest
hero point go
anyway
all right crit she'll she'll do much she'll just like try to beat this thing into the dirt with her
glaive she raises up the glaive really high and deals a fuck ton of damage again and just
pounds and beats it into the dirt it's it's pretty beat up well she's gonna look at you then
i guess you would want to exacting strike here because technically you have another action right
no i moved but you're quickened oh so i am so in that case i will exacting strike well you can only
do a strike or a move with him yeah but he moved so he would have used quicken and moved yeah my bad
yeah okay so i'm gonna do exacting strike in this case what exacting strike doesn't give me any bonuses
however if i fuck it up it won't it won't make the map worse yeah so so for people listening what this will do
is if victrix misses this attack then and does a third attack the third attack would still only be
at minus five it would not be at the minus ten it normally would be which is pretty cool fighters
pretty cool yeah anyway so good uh that one will miss and i'll just eat that because that means i get
to roll a map minus five again instead of a map minus ten she's gonna she's gonna land in the dirt
she's gonna pick it back up again and she's going to swing it some more and that's going to hit and
it's going to deal damage wow it's like we're showing off how the system it's actually going
to do a decent bit of damage to 13. oh it's going dead it has very few hit points remaining this
little this little flame not lings to existence she is not an articulate fighter she will like
try to either beat you to death with the sharp end of her glaive or she'll like just beat you to
death with the blunt end of it she'll she'll do what she can just to make sure you die violent
next person's term odo oboe
that's me it's oboroshi uh oh lee doakley so i'm going to begin my turn there aren't really a lot of
people hurting so i'm going to uh pluck out another inspire courage let loose this hideous uh melodic
wailing that is inspirational
yep just like the bagpipes exactly just like the bagpipes i'm so inspired by this hideous melodic
mooning what does it sound like is it just horrible just oh it's definitely melodic but
it's kind of uh kind of haunting uh okay okay yeah he breaks a snap of his fingers he's like yeah
plin plin plon yeah exactly hit him with that plin plin plon um and then for my second spell
um there's not gonna kill steal else i should be doing so yeah i am gonna kill steal victrix uh
just to free her up to go and do bigger damage elsewhere uh i'm going to do a telekinetic projectile
i'm going to uh reach into my body pluck out some little like a chunk of flesh and magically just
shoot it forward uh one sec real in range yeah it's 30 feet away reach spell that's right it takes
an action to do reach oh you have to use an extra action to do it yeah you have to do an action and
then uh then the spell uh you are correct damnation okay uh never mind then can you just throw a bottle
at it a bottle well i'm not baldrick that doesn't have to be full it's gonna be like an empty bottle
it's probably got like no health yeah exactly um oh you two took a fiery fiery thing um
i'm just looking at your spells oh yeah i think i might uh i'm gonna drop a spiritual weapon
i because i can i can drop it and strike correct i believe so um if you do a summon creature as soon
as you summon it or do a summon thing it should act right after you're done with your actions
yeah uh okay when you cast the spell the weapon appears next to a foe uh you choose within range
and you make a strike each time you sustain you can move the weapon to a new target within your range
if needed and strike so yeah it's not a summoned creature it's just like a weird it's kind of like
flaming sphere so yeah you can absolutely do that odo what kind of weapon do you uh
um i believe tokata's weapon would be hmm it would probably look like a sort of spinal column
that curves into kind of like a scythe looking thing creepy very uh i'll drop her right there
yeah if you click the cast button on your sheet that should like drop it in chat as well i think
right the sickle scapula yes sweet all right it's there and then uh just target the boy and click attack
all righty you can do it let's go auto let's go starting why do i never get these rolls on volley
because the game knows we're not gonna be here that often true you gotta i gotta build up your
confidence so kata stays winning okay roll damage just just proves these guys are cool yeah
okay all right that's gonna be double that well that that kills that little guy with your magic spell
you're welcome miss victrix
fine
yay you should be appreciative of friendly support it's why you hired us
she's going to disregard that and look for the next thing to kill
um
this little fire buddy goes into the difficult terrain here right by you you know what he does
okay what look no no no every single time that speaker's mic activates because he's typing or
something else i just see his character go what what what his arms come up
what is it he's gonna start juggling no i'm gonna drop i'm gonna drop i'm gonna drop a light or a
flame blast a belch of flames reaction if you don't mind yeah yeah as he comes up near me um i want to
make sure i can do this correctly uh nope never mind uh let it continue and then i'll do my reaction my
bad keep going okay i am going i am going to make you give me a reflex save
super a marrow yeah i have to do it for for both of them because you're also targeting my horse and
it's a separate thing so i can do both oh i'm i'm actually targeting something behind the horse too
oh i know you're doing it for pepin you fucking asshole you want to kill pepin you
fuck out again oh my god what's bulwark fuck zora and it's only fair i mean like we have been trying
to kill picture it's for years you got for what feels like a year safety i'm not gonna do oh
bulwark what the fuck was a bulwark this is just yeah i will kick off my bulwark and everything
bulwark pepper what is that great armor coverage is completed and prevents the damaging effect oh
right fuck you i have full plate that's right i have full plate the armor covers you completely
that it provides benefits against some damaging effects and reflex saves to avoid a damaging effect
such as a fireball it puts three modifier into your dexterity modifier yeah 17 on the dime it's a 32
and the reflex save for him but pepin pepin he rolled his reflex save with a plus 14. pepin i saw that one
he got a 21 for his reflex save you will you will succeed zorn you will take half of this
uh i think i'll see you roll for the horse pepin will fail uh the horse will get it gets a sparker
and the whole uh no it does not get sparker so it would be 28. yeah so both you and uh both you and
and the the horse will take half of uh that so i think it's five i thought of i thought of a really
good thing yes uh i thought of a really good thing here this is the inciting incident why pepin will
not be around when you have the horse yeah he's just dead no no no he's he's doing he's like no
okay i can only put up with so much either have me or the horse i'm not gonna be strong bad
i moved my thing here thurston so you can uh just so you can select them or oh so you can
damage the horse yeah if he took if he took any damage unless he succeeded
there you go dear king of moths how can you cast with tentacles for your hands it's a very funny
question bulky saved me you turned into fucking row no you let this happen you let this of course the
name is glue sorry chad my apology the horse's name is glue because it's it plans on sticking around
all right we're going to this one right there who is afraid and i am going to move out of though i'm so
close but there's a cart in the way there is a cart in the way yeah however you're in a good shooting
position and you gotta reload yeah i would like to object interact to reload my handgun and i'm going to
strike okay here we go which one are you shooting at shoot at the one right in front of sir mero yeah
right there i'd like to uh for chat and everyone i apologize if i'm constantly feels like i'm back
seeing people um like they made the character they never we never got to do testing so i'm just trying
to help out where i can so i apologize if i'm like sounding super obnoxious to it it's okay you hit
i did i hit with a 26. here's my funny little damage there we go oh wow not good damage values
at all holy 11 damage in total cool that hits it yeah kabang your pistol goes and hits this little guy
i think i think in the future you might not want to be prone because you have prone minus two to your
backs that may be the case i yeah i oh fuck unfortunate oh yes yeah these are many action get up yeah
because for you as a gunslinger you want to crit
so good when you crit all right you're getting up okay cool yeah all right i got another fire up
in this sizzle it's giggling at you it's it's so happy um oh i know quit your giggling
it's gonna move
it's gonna you know what did because i assume victrix yells quit your giggling yeah sure she'll taunt okay
okay sounds good it's gonna move
attack of opportunity yeah i figured give me that shit do it do it uh because i've never
knew it before it's just a strike kill you just normal i can do the strike yeah it's just like
full man no man yeah yep okay
i'll hit it yeah give me damage it's remarkable that i hit on an 11. it's so crazy anyway fighters
are like just slap holy 21 damage you hit it and it gets so angry when you hit it like you see it
starts standing there shaking and it just blasts out a five foot emanation i need reflex saves from
both you and sir marrow as it explodes blasting out like the filth that's accumulated on its bottom
from like dragging along the swamp as it just blasts it out with both of you
so bray marrow got a 33 in his reflex nice uh did did takata re-up the inspire courage yeah it's it's
on you you've got okay because because i'm it's offering me to check the inspire courage or not for
something that's weird but yeah it the token thing's on you so well i can see the math once you roll it
so fine fine uh she gets a one oh no also then i'll move my thing so you can target the horse
if it did damage um the horse will pass so okay so this will do
2d12 piercing damage then double because uh victrix failed so vic you're gonna take bam 30 points the
horse will have succeeded and will take half and sermero crit succeeded and takes none as just detritus
and shots of jagged rubbish fly out front and also i get a complication on uh vic yeah
go ahead give me the give me the complication give me to give you the complication give it to you
complicate her ass give give give me a complicate complicate i'm looking i'm looking there
we've used a lot of saves based ones here
remember chat if you too want to submit what happens to us whenever we roll a natural one
you can go to patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration and on the adventure tier you too can
submit your own complication and we put them into like a big old pool and whenever this stuff happens
we just pluck up from them but you too can submit a complication you too can submit a complication
where someone rips their pants open yeah well like that jocks were done before
i'm gonna use this one here from uh
this one's called oh that was real you were convinced that the incoming source of damage or
whatever that forced you to make the save was an elaborate illusion or deception and um you have
to face it head on you gain the confused condition while you figure out what is real and what isn't
real who uh who submitted that complication uh sarah grapes thank you yeah yeah it's pretty cool wow
yeah so we'll see uh the confused condition is is you are flatfoot and you don't treat anyone as an ally
um and you use all of your actions to uh to strike um your targets are determined randomly but they'll
be the ones that are in range so for right now it'll at least be the little buddy um that's the little
buddy's ghost or bray marrow that wait did the explosion not kill him he just exploded he just yeah
he just like got really angry and then blew out a bunch of shrapnel he did not like suicide bomb you
uh vic's going to like pull a nasty looking like length of wood from her fucking forearm and is
going to throw it on the ground and she's going to just start whipping around her glaive wildly now
that she is all over the place i guess it is now time sir brain marrow will go don't worry miss fish
vectrix i will help you and you'll see that you're wondering why i'm uh rolling dice it's because i
forgot the persistent fire on pepin from last time i'm just gonna apply that there you were gonna be
you were actually technically in range i think aren't you like me right now he is if he doesn't move
yeah no no remember it's remember it's randomly determined who i hit next yes oh okay well for you
for a 10 foot thing um for your range but yeah you would be well that's fine because i'm going to go
uh that and then back down pretty much i'm having my mount pretty much just go up up
and come right down pretty much because it gets an automatic it gets uh basically to specify i have
beastmaster companion or mature beastmaster companion i can just they get a stride or a
strike automatically if i don't do command command he's fucking cycle charging what a piece of
i was actually hoping you would move up hit the other one then like hit it like try to hit both
of them but move out of range of you and then you would fucking go crazy and kill pepin
know what like i want to caution the other one guys i think everybody else can finish this one off
so i'll i'll redo my movement there and go here pepin is a is a beast and i'm confident that
someone has a sooth spell and cares about pepin i hope doesn't move into range of victrix i can't
move pepin he's only supposed to be there yeah you have to direct him you can only direct one of
your summoned companions and apparently you like your horse some more i'm on the horse yeah i know
whose fault is that make your tax see see what happens no what no what i get a free automatic
movement for one of my things it's it will break the game a little real quick i don't know why
there's like a oh that's the spiritual weapon i got real confused and um basically i will spit since
i have to break the game for this and you keep targeting pepin i'll spend one of my actions to
tell pepin the off go away but he'll use all 25 is all of all of his movement to not get hit and go
over that way and just burn magic weapons just around so now i have two actions left and i'm
gonna use one of them to target this this elemental that has full health currently and uh i'm going to
strike him with my lance yep that is an 18 on the die 35 total that is a crit which is exactly what i like
and i'll be 31 points of damage with deadly and everything plus uh d6
d6 okay just three and double i guess um so six seven the 37 points of damage yeah i got that
and then i'll just take four more or six more there we go hey ow wow oh yeah a lot of damage there
and uh what i'm going to do lastly is
it's gonna stab him again just just stab with the lance on my uh actually no i'm gonna i'm gonna
demoralize him i'm also gonna look at this flame be like and then demoralize him hey for my last
action to lower his thing because he can't go lower than one uh frightened with that so i want
to turn him intimidation having any prowess is what i have i rolled a natural one nice
and with all that like i'm like a master of intimidation all right thurston
i'm looking i'm already looking one sec let's see what we get here this is a very critical
concentration of nat ones versus nat 20s we got a lot we've been struggling in this game
mm-hmm this is this is math i like math it's fun uh let's go what the
why aren't you scared why why aren't you scared this is fire dipshit
oh shit my intimidation is banging it's fire asshole
okay i i i'm gonna i'm gonna use one here i think i'm spitting on the fire be down
i'm gonna use this one from drunken finn okay okay yeah you're gonna have to you're gonna have to
give me a little leeway here um zorn this one's called bitch slap 2.0 okay when you fail a verbal
check you slap the creature you're having a conversation with so i assume that what i'm
going to say and this is the the downside of the complication is you're so mad at this thing like
after and trying to demoralize it's all like you jump off your horse and slap it
i'll accept that i'll be demounted just for you i'll that's what i'll do you one better
um if you allow me to allow me to move my horse so we can just not have this all complicated we'll do
that and i'm willing to drop my lance and come out because i have a gauntlet yeah and we'll just
we'll just play as that and i'll just go and i assume um i assume i'll go and it's like i look at
my hand like only hands on fire and i go and start trying to put it out get acceptable
how dare you slaps you gets caught on fire and that'll be the end of my turn beautiful i like it
all right speaker speaker b all right the king of moth strange tentacles are going to pierce into
the ground right here as i as he inhumanly slides into place without moving oh shit lightning bolt
he raises his hand to the sky it's gonna do it y'all guys i call upon lady fortune
high in high in the sky like a beautiful mother i call upon her power
and i will cast lightning all right volley give me a reflex save
oh wait hold on i got you i got you i got you
i saw what you did there speakist i'm glad you did
oh god okay um can you cast the spell so i can click the things before that is physically
impossible oh okay all right let me place my oh my god well that's the wrong line other direction
i mean technically victrix is fair game because she's confused if you need help speaker
uh here i'll help you step by step click the measuring tool top left like that and you'll see
a little like boxing that's in front of you hover over your mouse over and press delete okay so that'll
get rid of that so now go back to the chat there that says place 120 foot line when you're about to
click hold shift i think and then scroll wheel and rotate it don't click oh yeah don't click it yeah
you have to rotate it first please don't worry when we get this right it's gonna be so cool
please god let me come
yeah now these sons of bitches gotta make me a reflex save
okay succeed both of them just to like ruin the cool effect there i would kill myself
in minecraft no i can't fail the first one
let's go i'll succeed on the other one but the first one please oh oh god yes oh please kill this one
one let's roll some jay look at all that oh my god speaker you blast him yes
dinner blaster speaker i i applaud you so very much for for obliterating these guys i regret to inform
you you are now the only person in range of a confused victrix who must attack oh no
i'm sure calmer heads will prevail yeah uh yeah uh okay cool uh okay that's good that's good
uh who's next oh yes yeah take a guess who take a guess who speak of the devil
thurston what the hell do i do do i literally just spend my entire turn attacking you use all of your
actions to strike or cast offensive cantrips so the gm can have you use other actions to facilitate
attacks such as drawing a weapon moving your target are determined randomly by the gm if you have no
other viable targets you target yourself it's impossible to attack spells um yeah no you just
fucking attack i've got great i've got great news for you though okay okay um because of a mix of my
tentacular limbs controlling my body as well as the fact that that fire tragically tragically
critically failed their save i think that there was some kick to that lightning bolt and i will
spend a narrative declaration to send me flying back just out of range of vitrix you need to move
two hexes you need to move two squares away oh i had a lot of kick to it mark him mark that
fuck it down here wait wait it is a new round and you do have attack of opportunity
no it has to be my turn first he's already spent it uh-huh yeah he did he spent it on the guy who
came in that's right he can't much as i'd love to hurt speaker no i have to be fair oh god all right
what i just did was very fair you needed to do that because otherwise you would be on the receiving
end of three glaive attacks whatever just fucked my shit up oh don't worry you're okay now now that
just hurts herself whirling around with her glaive oh no oh no you move you move towards an available
target oh which are you moving me towards a fucko that one all right cool now now target the fire it's
it's it's the closest technically these are both in range though yeah oh i'm i'm gonna be generous
and let you strike with so your free action to move then your first strike on the on the fire
i'm being nice here wow they're still in this hostile that's going to miss
uh okay okay that will don't miss okay now you can make your um your exacting strike exacting strike
go uh that will hit good roll me damage damaging
uh late damage 14. see this is what you needed and now uh give me one final attack
that's the exacting strike kit this will still be a minus yeah i know it'll be minus 10. go
she uh that'll miss she's out she's totally out of sorts yeah and she's confused uh no longer
all right she comes to her senses it's me oboro shrider thank god um well these some
bitches sure do look hurting uh so i'm just gonna uh uh sustain my spiritual weapon and clonk that guy
on the noggin boink so i'm is it going to be like one to sustain bonk and then one to keep the inspire
up or yep cool that is what i will do i guess you can move too that's humorous give me give me the
bonk roll me the bonk attack i'm bonking them bonk it that will that'll hit that'll hit
11. it's okay can you make multiple attacks with the the spiritual bonk uh
can you i don't think so i think yeah i think you can only do it once yeah cast the spell choose
a strike each time you sustain you can move up into a new target uh oh wow it uses and contributes to your
uh two-year multiple attack penalty that's very funny actually oh so i could attack twice
could i i think so yeah yeah just please finish this combat i'll go ahead and give it another bop
i'll bop them bop it uh yeah i'm just gonna have to manually put in the map because it doesn't want
to pop up pop it pip it whack that 20. all right yeah sure why not
thank you and as the as the spiritual weapon the the spinal scythe bashes the final gold you know
jacqueline little flame elemental into the dirt how about we take a very quick break yes please
okay okay i do so much damage oh sorry we'll be back after these messages oh before we go to the
break to clarify so thurston doesn't kill pepin like he's trying to right now um basically so bravo
will come up to pepin and he will stop trying to kill my fucking squire thurston
he will come up to pepin and and tap him on the shoulder and go like
furious pepin burning through the fires of battle is a is a good initiator becoming a knight i'm proud of
you pepin you'll become you're such an excellent squire and you'll touch him he'll do touch of
corruption on him and um what that does is basically um it will heal him because he's necrotic
and actually hold up let me let me target and click this see if it doesn't
it doesn't okay i'm just getting a billionaires for no reason and um they'll heal heal heal him for 24.
and then he's no longer on fire yeah i saved pepin my squire and we're gonna be right back goodbye
zoran is about to die when he dies he will die in real life forever not a joke for real this is
funny but it doesn't have to be through your support on patreon we can find a way to incrementally slow
this train before he is destroyed in complete agony forever in exchange for your patronage
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i can't believe you killed them i killed them i killed them all and not just the men
but the women and the children too they were animals were they made of sand and i slaughtered
them like it yeah they were actually uh which means slaughtering them rather rough and coarse and it got
everywhere is this joke still funny no it's not let's move all right all right we are back
hello hello
so yeah with uh with that our uh our b team has defeated the the fire flame elementals that seem to be
uh emerging around here um well what is everyone doing now that they they've defeated these
elementals there's sort of like a like the embers have died on the air there's like a couple little
brush fires but that's it um yeah what's everyone want to do right now have we gotten all the money
i believe so more than we were being paid for certainly then i believe that um how do you say it
fuck this place well let's not be so quick to leave a well-paying job there could be even more money at the next
site that i say you guys are in the hall for the next spot not just this one
well it's at times like this i like to think on the bright side at least we're not these poor unfortunate
fools
everyone laugh with me
just like kick one of the the rotten little bits of blob that was on fire a moment ago
yeah bastard blew up on me as you do you kind of like like kick some soot and you you you look down
and realize that in like partly embedded in the ground are the like absolutely burned remnants of
humanoid bodies um possibly like a human that was completely scorched and then just kind of
what was left kind of glided into the ground a bit or sat and settled into the ground i should say
um can i roll an arcana check to understand what i would know about these entities which were
clearly summoned i already know that yeah sure give me arcana absolutely you got it
uh that would be a 33 good sir sweet uh these are elemental beings known as filth fires uh so
they're like elementals that tend to gain their own like flame from burning filth and rubbish around
them i can take like natural filth and other things uh you can ask me three questions about them um what
magic can summon them um like lots of elemental summoning so like the the common summon elemental
spell at certain points you could summon a creature like this um you know there might be like
alchemicals that could contain these types of creatures that could maybe be thrown like a bottle to
like summon them as well that could be a thing to what end are they summoned frequently um typically
they're sort of like callous destruction they get summoned and what they do is they they take advantage
of terrain so in this case a swamp is really good for them um they're they're obviously associated
with the elemental churn particularly like uncle blaze but they when they when summoned onto the like the
onto tyne they are often used as kind of just like well we'll summon a bunch of them and they'll go
fuck shit up and they kind of just have fun doing it
and how long ago were these summoned uh it sounds like the they they probably were dormant here and
then someone stumbling upon this place like just like literally rekindled them you coming in
attracted them but whatever they they'd done before they probably went into a bit of a state
of torpor here after being you know initially set loose well put another way what was the initial
like what i'm specifically asking for is initially how long ago did this seem to have happened the
couple days couple days yeah uh fairly recently fairly recently okay i will turn the rest of my
companions and then i'll actually speak
whoever summoned these filth fires they did so but a mere few few days ago a mere few grains of sand
the hourglass which means that we will more than likely find their trail and more likely our target
good less time out here the better exactly now i would recommend one of you
you dashing debonaires with an exceedingly good insight into the natural world find their tracks
and follow them because they've only been gone a few days shouldn't be too hard
how do you track because otherwise we're all gonna point to pepin
um pepin pepin gets to work um uh in the meantime
can everyone give me a perception check please yes are we going back to the exploration or are we not
yet no not yet not yet new cheat new to do 21 oh not 20 35 20. oh brave arrow got a 17. well
okay so as all of you are looking around um dude you notice a few things you're you're you're sort of
taking in this place and you you recognize that okay so they're like there was the gold that was
on the back of this cart and like from where it was and what you saw of it it was fairly strange
because like the the locks had been broken off of it like they left the gold here um there are other
boxes that appear to have been like ripped off or taken or other supplies that seem to have been taken
but there's still a lot of other supplies here you can find like some files and potions and trade
goods of varying you know like still some still some good like you know textiles and food
preservatives things that would generally have extreme value in a place like this that have just been
scattered around here um whatever the attack was on this did not seem interested in in any of that
content um briefly as you were looking around you have a moment though dude where like you seem to see
a tree and then you seem to see a blue-skinned woman and then you kind of shake your head and they're gone
oh hell is that no no couldn't they what did you see i i i thought i saw a
lady with blue skin and looked like a giant tree look like it's not not important not a giant tree
i've run up to you what do they look like i couldn't uh i couldn't really get a good look at
them i uh it looked like uh not quite straight it's not from around here by any means uh
it should look anything like this and i'm going to reach into my pack and pull out where who was wanted
the poster yes it looked like that yeah it it did it it looked exactly like rahua wait wait wait wait
you said blue woman right yeah i didn't know they made women in blue yeah they do
actually reminds me actually that tree i remember seeing that tree and the cute blue tree but beside
that point too far away from your mic erindale sorry the two of them were actually in that group that
hired me to hire you guys to go check this place out oh are they nice
uh one of them's an old friend of mine the rest i barely know but the girl was cute so you know
fuck it whatever but beside the point
what are you laughing about oh well i suppose i won't betray you like i was intending to after all
let's continue on our way friends i'm delighted to know that we're in the same
company as my darling son what wait you're a father i if you prefer the term gardener
i gave our tree friend life
you're responsible for that you made him
you created rahua i created that's not quite the right term
i gave him corporeal form
and i should very much like to see him again so we will complete this task
and dubal jump up and grab the king of moth by his robes and pull him down to him his chest
you need to teach me what you know you need to send me back you need to fucking help me
oh calm down master dwarf send you back to where oh not where it's it's when friend i'm not supposed
you and i you you we are talking private private elsewhere elsewhere you are in need of my services
and i shall grant them or what else can unify such nerd wells and bastards and common cause
will you agree to travel with me master dwarf after these adventures of course if you will guarantee your
help in my predicament you have my solemn word as king of the moths yeah yeah well that's all all well
and good then yeah absolutely i'm so glad that beautiful friendships can spring even out of this
embered husks i don't suppose the rest of you have done strange spectacular problems i can solve
no the only problem that we need to solve is we need to get moving i don't want to sit in a burnt out
clearing ah yes well one need to acquire the taste for disruption and decay i think just ask our
skeletonized friends speaking of which yes how can i help you cantering about i believe that we must find
the trail of these would-be arsonists can you engage in such an endeavor bray will look at the bounty
uh thing and go like oh have they been spotted no but we know that they left here no less than
i would say a few days perhaps three four i would very much like to connect the bounty it would really
help out with the economic issues that me and pepin face every day but pepin have you found anything
he's pointing at the ground good job pepin continue sniffing hey hey wait a second wait a
second you get any more of those posters uh well i have one of each she kind of beckons for him to
show them off let me see real quick you will reveal the bounties for the previous party to this group
which is maybe an excellent idea huh hey so you remember i said that group was made of an old friend and
like four other people i do recall such a thing yeah this is literally all of them oh will we turn them
in for the big bounty ah shit yeah we'll we'll cross that when we get to it we'll see how things are
shaping out on our and let's not come up with any plans just yet let's not jump the gun i agree with you
victrix we may have much use for them but at least i will and if you care to benefit from my benefit
victrix you are free to it i know we met on the wrong foot can we start over and i'll extend my hand
we're fucking role playing get back to you pepin
i know pepin you're pointing at the humanoid tracks we're fucking role
making all of those small humanoid tracks pepin
there's plenty of tracks it seems as if they brought a horse but by god it seems scarce perhaps
even skeletal
distracted by for the attacks so thoroughly by pepin groaning loudly that she doesn't notice the king of
moths extending his hand and instead rushes off towards the mute weirdo what the
fuck are you grumbling about pepin says that he's found a humanoid tracks it's not from us
further on well fucking follow them he points down to to like a pair of tracks and points them out and
kind of grunts and walks on they're they're small humanoid tracks like they're they're the size of like
a child um and they're pretty worn in here but like scattered off and on he sort of like brings you
up through the ditch that's in the ground uh kind of clambers over it into a clearing um and sort of
points here um where the the tracks meander a bit as well and you get the sense that like based on timing
maybe the the small tracks were away from the caravan when whatever attack had happened
and like this little like secluded area like like pepin sort of like moans but explains like you know
and makes some gestures of like defecating in the woods here away from everything how do you how do you
gesture that as skeleton very carefully yeah i'm like whatever vic vic is on on the hunt she's ready
to get going i see pepin someone took a shit here excellent findings pepin nods for her to solidify
and then comes back down pointing to the tracks um and then points that they seem to go away
uh actually back in the direction you came like towards roughly like maybe a bit north of the trading
post she's gonna fucking throw her hands up in irritation that's not helpful we know where we're
going and then then like pepin points down and shows several other humanoid tracks that seem to be
going west from here deeper into the swamp and we'll follow the ones going west
very good findings pepin a treat he throws like a bone are you kidding me a fucking
jesus cannibalism yeah the fucking chance for vic and the king of moths to make up has been
thoroughly ruined by pepin leading everyone around confusedly
yeah okay i love that pepin's giving you important fucking lore and you're like
fuck you he's like she's angry what do you what do you expect she got blown away
i'm sure this is thurston's way of us to hurry along for time so let's i'm trying
let's continue on we all have west thurston's making it harder we will all head west
west heading west which way western man west okay we
space maze a space maze all right we carry on
i do assume that we're going to pass ourselves up as we go ass yeah about to say we've been going
have we killed each other yet thurston um not yet
mr bray is as jovial as ever yeah just try to keep spirits high he's singing songs
um pepin is um pepin's there uh the rest of you sort of travel travel along as well you know pepin
being the main character of this party now um no yeah yeah lovely lovely lovely boy um no you you
carry on during this i assume uh the dude and the king of moths conspire off to the side um you continue
to discuss some of the mysteries of the swamp you have you have all sorts of fun and wacky adventures
over the course of two weeks that who knows they could be the they could be like a special unto
themselves right um yeah but you carry on you carry on and eventually you find yourselves doing what
you've been doing a lot of for the last few weeks bickering bickering and camping
pepin of course being the only one trained in survival so he is setting you up with your
necessary camp and you know what i came prepared i bought us a four person tent oh hold on hold on
hold on hold on now that we are all in this chat very familiar with by now the cozy cabin
our show has probably increased cozy cabin stocks but i like so much for
to smell cozy cabin sweep yeah cabin hands boys
so kata's cozy cabin is definitely like it looks mostly like a normal cozy cabin but there's just
something really uncanny valley about it like just some of the materials look like wood but when you
touch them it's definitely not there are like eyes under weird things so question how long do
do all of you like last actually sleeping in the haunted cabin of horrors uh vic is okay with it
one thousand percent she just gets cozy the king of moths fucking loves the creepy flesh cabin
he fucking loves it please allow me to feed on delicious house flesh
sir bray gets inside the flesh cabin housing and gets nostalgic
do you remember being inside a meat before i remember my flesh prison
ah it's fucked up it's delightful to sleep at somewhere where you can actually
eat eat the drywall it's more of wet wall isn't it oh yes but it becomes dry once it's grilled
all right so after a while you've two weeks time you've ventured through the swamps you've
you've made your way deep you've you've done a lot of exploration following following the tracks and
trudging along after pepin having your side adventures and then you eventually come um it's not quite quite
like you know time for sleeping in the cabin so you've set up a fire outside on a set of wooden
walkways like planks and whatnot that extend through the um through the solitude of particularly like
bad swampy area um all of you are resting around a fire that pepin has set up on the walkway you know
protected using stones and whatnot to make sure the ground doesn't catch on fire um it's it's dark and
like you hear animals hooting and the sky itself has you know almost almost no light coming through
as it's very cloudy and you sort of have this just cozy but also like a single point of light as you as
you dwell uh in this area uh and you're all trading stories and chatting with one another
you know this all reminds me of that time i i actually stopped by that strange restaurant
it was built into a crashed airship and outside has anyone else eaten there i've definitely gone to
that establishment it's one of my favorites i especially like the other one on the other side
uh yes you fucking eat oh i got kicked out of that establishment sometimes asshole
how can you how can i be the asshole you don't even have one hey hey who are we to judge break rice
to cotta you said you were kicked out of the restaurant that's just yes my performance was
beautiful it was however um what was the phrase disturbing to children oh yes i get that a lot myself
it's discrimination of the highest order that's everyone give me perception checks
the brain perceives with a three on the die for a total of 14 cool total of 31 26 24 24 24 24 okay dude as
as everyone's sort of talking and jibing around you you hear sounds from around you like crack crackles of
of like logs and like splintered wood and small pressure on like on wooden boards around you and sloshing
it's it's like it's crept up on you but there are several figures making their way towards you
ah i suppose we have some company
well let's not keep them waiting oh we don't have room in the cabin
bray will hop off uh they put him on his horse but he'll he'll look at pepin like pepin
collapse and the horse will collapse and pepin will put all the bones of the horse on his pack
and uh make you make him hold your horse yep he's just carrying the bones of the horse in his pack
hold your horses um you could you could drag my token over hide this one out yeah okay no don't
delete all right i don't all right well fine here no no there you go i'll hide the horse boom yeah you
hide these and then you you hide that and the other brain marrow one the other token on let's see
there you go there you go okay set it up for you because mounted combat and foundry is just
bullshit yeah am i am i still fatigued two weeks later yes he's so tired oh rest for the wicked
and dude as you point this out and after the like the skeletal horse disassembly you start looking
out and you see probably three four maybe even five dozen points of light out there
would appear to be torches maybe uh and you're hearing sloshing getting closer um some of you have
dark vision right i have actually something even better than dark vision what's that i have i could get
on the character sheet i have motion sense and low light vision
okay i have low light which it seems weird isn't it but yeah
yeah you know okay so you have motion sense how far does that go out for you 30 feet okay okay so yeah
nothing nothing quite in range yet okay there's an eye of dark vision yeah oh 260 right for you
yeah yeah okay um all right so you start to see figures at the far edge of your vision um there
appear to be some humanoid figures that are coming into view um several of them seem to be equipped
similarly um they're they're they're like wielding uh hand crossbows and swords and other ones appear to
you know be masked and in heavy heavy robes uh clutching onto staves their hands crackling with flames like
like lamp light
hmm but they all seem to stop at about 60 feet
uh like i want to give like an impression for you like there are a lot of people out here
uh does dude see this as well don't you have dark vision i do okay yeah yeah you would see it too
hmm do you suppose they look friendly
uh can't say for sure this deep in the soul too it's pretty deep pretty uh hard to determine whether
or not they uh looking to make conversation or make off our bones uh no offense to you sir bright
fucked up not his bones one of the like snarl audibly under her fucking gag mask as this happens
a figure emerges from the group sort of like walking walking somewhat confidently in front of the group
waving a hand back at all of the others who who stay at the peripheral edge um he's holding on to a
torch um which he or actually more a lantern he comes holding a lantern in one hand has like a sword but
it's not like in a combat stance it's sort of like held down and this figure comes into the the outer
limits of of the light here like the low light viewers here catch it from from the light from your um
from your campfire and this haughty elven figure looks at all of you
well hello there i pull out my glock
long shot
seems you have uh made it very far in here sir bray will stand up chilled and mace at the ready
and he'll be like like like who is one to come forth near to our campfire are you friend or foe and
he'll point a mace at him and get already he bows my name is prince du chef it is a pleasure it is a
pleasure to meet you uh prince du chef hi i am sir bray marrow escaper of flesh savior of orphanages
pursuer of freedom slayer of obstacles acquire sturdy exteriors and acquirer of titles you will
best stand before being my compatriots and i'll see you brought yourself friends i must say once
more friend or foe i'm very much a friend oh dude come on i have no no no desire for conflict in fact
in fact if it would do well for all of you i would like to pay you oh is it normal to walk up to fires
and just throw money at people well i'm guessing that you are here and the employee of some other
people so i'm just going to pay you more and ask if you can go home
hmm an interesting offer but you must be aware we were paid two thousand gold apiece
that's fine i have a crate of about uh five thousand gold
okay that sounds fine to me most intriguing what exactly would you like from us i want you to go go
away well kind of kind of sort of i mean kind of sort of well i want everyone but you to go away any
points at vic me yeah i want you to come back with us i want to ask you some questions on our own
show us the gold before we make any further negotiations oh sure of course some of that
better be going to me and um two two two individuals come in they're they're sort of like heavier set
folk they put down a like a just an overflowing chest of gold and like jewels lots of gemstones
so bray will look at the king of moths and put a gauntlet hand on his shoulder
try to whisper saying make sure that it's not that of illusion my friend oh but of course no one
agreed to anything i will of course have to inspect it
of course i will uh approach the gold does it seem to be legit
uh you detect magic there is no illusory magic if you would like to give me something like an arcana
check to see if there's any duplicity here absolutely i would love to do just such a thing
25. you are not seeing any trace of illusory magic on this this is this is the real coin
i see and who do you represent mr duchin oh you see i am a concerned solitude uh outset citizen who
well the people you're working for you know they are wanted right i'm just they did some bad things
to some people i care about you know one of them the one with the blue skin she betrayed me
oh that sounds to be aligned on that on the bountiful bounties criminals i think they are
yes that's right and so i don't want you to get messed up with them but i know your time is important
you've been in the swamp going around for a while so listen we're just doing this job so we can get
paid from them and then we'll probably turn them in at some point anyway i want to save you the
trouble because i'm probably going to to have to deal with them myself you know i mean my my my
associates sort of like waves behind towards all the the like distant but still very close
you must be a very powerful and brave warrior
yes i am i don't believe this well-dressed beanpole thurston how do i detect this deception
perception absolutely give me a while while you're doing that vick's going to like okay well
you know what he's pretty charming he's also brought a lot of money that you've just been told is real
you know that that's a very good point however however hero point okay it was one point less i
really believe him this time you're just like wow all right all right really good point then all right
listen this is all well and good you're asking me to come with you though where's my cut of it then
what do you want part of the money if i'm being asked to come with you what the hell's the deal
why me well i mean certainly we could provide you with more money at our camp it's not like i would
come out here and give you all our money that would be stupid we have more at the camp this was just to
get your companions to get your companions to go home uh-huh you still haven't answered why i'm needed
uh because we know you are a associate of the uh the bucket head
oh let me guess valdric's done something to piss you guys off
yeah that is a bit of an asshole that one
aren't we all that's right but i say if you know i don't have to deal with assholes and i get paid
five thousand gold to do whatever true enough true enough but what if i also had business with this
array of miscreants
and then i would say that once they are in custody by the civil servants of outset you'll be fine
wait wait wait wait wait wait you're with the city people we are a concerned citizens group yeah but
you said that you were from the concerned citizens of solto and outset i said both yeah no you no you
didn't know what you said he did he did dude has gaslit himself yeah common a common occurrence
i don't remember that but time flows weirdly no no no no no no listen listen i go with
shit as far as it falls between highwaymen and all that i do not answer to that authority
you said you said you had more gold at your camp i do how much a lot
well give me a number like more than this a lot more since a man is refined as me does not uh
need to count his gold you see i don't think he's the accountant
yes fair enough fair enough well look to everyone else so we all agree on what must be done here
yes yes take the money and go home i could continue on my bird hunt and then happily enjoy
my life somewhere else instead of this swamp yes yes but could we have a quick moment alone to discuss
amongst ourselves of course i will just go back to my men and let them know excellent
uh king of mars will return so we're of course killing them all
i want you to understand there are several dozen of them well i don't think we can take them all on at
once but we were paid two thousand to come out here if we take their money now circle around for a
little bit keep an eye on them and pop back in when the moment's right might be able to sweep in
and pick up that five thousand plus whatever else they're carrying and not have on them we can even
leave them back to the camp we can take everything they have we could kill them all i do enjoy having
more money i care about that tree more than any corner yeah i was just gonna give my share king over
i'm with him i've got business yeah and you're going to spring me right because i have to go with them
i have an idea for that um i can turn one of us invisible in order to accompany you to keep an eye on you
i believe i would volunteer sir dude he is very uh stealthy like um what what is that old story the
solid snake ah yes that ancient tale from the old tribes the adamantine serpent even markland knew about
that yes we're fucking idiots
i i think for the ease of figuring out who's gonna do what we could probably decide later who
will go invisible just because like at the moment it's kind of like we're we're nearing
time here unfortunately but that and how long the spell lasts it lasts an hour okay
i so it sounds to me like the plan might be to uh to to have vic go off with pros and the boys well
you take all of the money and then still stay around maybe in this uh this solitude region
to keep a little eye on things a little eye on things right just wants the money
yes the king of moths has business with the party i think that he if we don't think that we could fight
them all here um then it may be to his benefit to linger about with those that would follow him
to ascertain the end of his schemes
it doesn't behoove him to have rahua up in shackles
his tree son
all right fine i'll go with them for now you assholes better be there though
i assure you vitrix i and those who follow me will never be too far behind
fine so victrix you follow the elf leaving your companions
and as you you head out your companions stay a bit behind preparing it sounds to me uh preparing
to to follow or at least be ready to to look around um you know given some time after prance and his
his his coterie depart is that is that the the plan right now yes i think we will remain uh because
you know yeah and whenever we want to send somebody out i will uh cast invisibility on the dude
i honestly think having a second bard would be very funny and um as you as as you you the the this
group begins to prepare
maybe maybe 30 minutes after prance has departed
there is a there is a sound and a thump that all of you feel and hear
and dude is the first but very quickly the rest of you look and what comes out towards you from the
swamps is an amalgamate of elemental and of elemental fury rocks and wind and fire all churning together
roiling towards you in one great mass it seems to descend towards you and the battle that follows would
be the stuff of legends
that's where we're gonna die
dun dun dun dun
it's the thing from super early in the rock grind camp
it's the thing it's the big boy
but yeah yeah we got through the thing
of everybody and enjoyed their time yay
and we did it with only minimal pvp yeah yeah we did completely murder each other just a little bit
not really just a tinge yeah just uh just to clarify the chat no it's not a new campaign
they're backup characters this was the plan from the beginning it's just a neat little break
yeah just uh the idea was like oh hey we we established there were mercenaries going off to
go to another angle and then these are the guys like there's a neat little side thing break for the
characters try some other classes because it's always fun to do stuff but first off thank you
everyone so much for watching thank you odoroshi thank you hulky crow think aaron dill speaker d
and uh thurston for coming over to play i've been your host and uh if you really like what we do
uh narrative declaration.com get our stream schedule get understand all the stuff that we do get some
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help out you can either subscribe on twitch at twitch.tv forward slash narrative declaration or
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bunch of content we have a bunch of pdfs out right now thurston made like this like
asshole of a monster like recently which is really really fun uh to put in your outset campaign if you
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there are times i was going through my god you got a lot of content um at youtube.com uh
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love you all so very much hope you guys have a wonderful time thank you all so much for watching
hope you had a good time i'll see you all next time like say yay a bunch as i delay and get our
outro music because it didn't load
thank you so much
like a lasagna.