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What comes to mind when you think about your father? Is it joy, pain, or indifference? Whatever it is, it can reveal deeper wounds that still affect you today. In this journey of healing, Zach Garza invites you to explore topics like generational sin, emotional scars, and the transformative power of forgiveness through the lens of his own story of growing up without a father in the home. By confronting the past, you'll discover how to break free, embrace your true identity, and experience the unconditional love of God.
Part two, pinpoint. Chapter six, the lies. Father wounds are damaging, not merely because of the wounds, but because of the lies that flow from them. If the wound itself is the prison cell, it's the lies from the enemy that act as the padlock on the door. Satan is a one trick pony.
Speaker 1:He really only has one approach, deception. The problem is that his one trick can be pretty darn effective. Jesus warned us of this saying, there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Two chapters later, reiterates, the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.
Speaker 1:I have come that they may have life and have it to the full. The very downfall of man began with a simple lie. God said not to eat the fruit, yet Satan showed up to call that truth into question with a simple, did God really say that? His inquiry got Adam and Eve to doubt the goodness of God. They thought there was a chance that they were smarter than God and could better navigate this life if they were the ones calling the shots.
Speaker 1:This created division between God and man and put man at odds with each other. Needless to say, the lie was pretty effective at accomplishing his goal to steal life and cause destruction. It's crazy to me how even though I know the enemy uses lies to get me off track, they still work at times. I have to be on my a game at all times to defend myself against these schemes. One lazier distracted moment, and I could find myself believing a lie that might create a disaster in my life.
Speaker 1:When my father left, the enemy pounced on the opportunity to fill my head with destructive lies. I believed many of them. Satan knows that if he can create division among the family, then he can isolate individuals and take them out. His lies work significantly better when the protection of a father is gone. Satan will often attack when we are at our most vulnerable states.
Speaker 1:Times of transition often attract darkness and lies. Perhaps you just went through a disappointment or you're simply burnt out. These are the moments where you must stay on your a game because the enemy will work overtime to exploit your weakness. The transition of my father out of the home certainly left me vulnerable. Probably the most pervasive lie that the enemy used during that time and continues to use is that I am not lovable.
Speaker 1:This lie gets served up in a bunch of different ways and in multiple environments. I believed that lie when my father left, and my mother didn't have the emotional margin to give me what I needed. The problem with the enemy's lies is that he will partner with your circumstances to seemingly validate the lie. For instance, I believed I was unlovable. This was validated if my friends ever did something without me or forgot to give me the invite.
Speaker 1:Even now, if my wife and I don't have enough time together or quality conversations, it's tempting to revert back to that same lie. When someone believes they are not worthy of love, it does not lead to positive things. It can force someone to believe the worst, causing them to be on the lookout for evidence that people don't love them. All of this can spiral to cynicism, skepticism, and a lack of love to give others and ultimately living with a chip on the shoulder. These things lead to shutdown and personal isolation, which is exactly what the enemy wants.
Speaker 1:It is a toxic mixture of self doubt and hopelessness. If you've ever wondered why it's so hard to face your difficult past, this is your clue. Is there a voice in your head saying you're worthless, a failure, and weak? Have you had a desire to heal your wounds, but for some reason, you just can't seem to do it? I know why these things are hard for you because they were hard for me.
Speaker 1:My answer may seem simple and naive, but this is an essential insight to grasp if you're going to have a breakthrough on this journey. Here's the simple truth. You have an enemy who wants you to stay right where you are. His full time job is preventing your healing. He is your adversary.
Speaker 1:He is against you, and he will make this difficult. Ephesians six ten says, for we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness. It is going to be difficult because he will make it difficult. Lies are the mechanism by which he pulls this off. The good news is that Paul encouraged us in second Corinthians two eleven, for we are not unaware of his schemes.
Speaker 1:If we are ignorant of his schemes, we will be susceptible to those schemes. However, once we see the lies, we can stop them. Step one is identification. In talking with people who are on the healing journey, I have narrowed down three lies the enemy tends to use to attack. Lie number one, nobody cares.
Speaker 1:Isolation. Be sober minded. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. First Peter five six.
Speaker 1:My son is obsessed with nature. He especially likes watching predators take out their prey. We were recently watching a documentary about lions and how they attack zebras. It's a fairly simple strategy, really. The lion finds a group of zebras and identifies which one he wants to take out.
Speaker 1:It is usually one that is hurt or weak. They wait patiently for just the right moment. Then, when the zebra least expects it, the lion runs directly at the animal, causing it to be overcome with fear. In its fear, the animal does exactly what it is not supposed to do, run away from the pack. It finds itself alone where the lion can easily take the zebra out.
Speaker 1:I can relate to that zebra. The enemy finds me vulnerable as I begin to deal with the wounds of my past. He waits patiently for just the right time when I put my guard down. That's when he pounces with lies, lies which lead to fear and thoughts like, I can't tell anyone about this. No one cares.
Speaker 1:People are going to think I'm just being weak and dramatic. So what's the result? I pretend like everything is okay, which keeps me from sharing what is really going on with my friends and community. I find myself alone even when surrounded by people. When isolation hits, the fight is already over.
Speaker 1:The enemy has you right where he wants you, and you are never going to win a battle against him one on one. By trickery, he has removed you from the strength of the pack. We must be sober minded and on the lookout, fully aware of how he operates. For me, I know my weaknesses. I'm especially vulnerable when things don't go my way or when I perceive someone has abandoned me.
Speaker 1:I have to expect an attack from the enemy when I experience those things. It's not a time for me to sulk or let my guard down, but instead an opportunity for me to say, I know I'm a little wounded right now. I know this is when the enemy usually attacks. Be on guard. Is this a one and done experience?
Speaker 1:No. It's a consistent effort. The enemy will attempt to beat you down with consistent lies and attacks. He is relentless and won't stop until he takes you out. It is a full time job defending yourself from him.
Speaker 1:It's easy to believe that you can't fight off these attacks, but remember, one of his goals is to get you to believe the lie that you can't. In reality, you can persevere, you can overcome, and you can get through this. Lie number two, you don't have what it takes. Self doubt. Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.
Speaker 1:Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. Ephesians six ten. Buying into the fact that I have what it takes to do what God is calling me to do is a requirement in the Christian life. Paul made this clear by saying, God is able to bless you abundantly so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. Second Corinthians nine eight.
Speaker 1:In my life, there are a few ways the enemy causes me to believe the opposite of this passage. One of those ways is through the voices of others. I've had a number of people convey to me that I am not enough, not smart enough, not strong enough, not good enough. Whether the person was saying those things on purpose or if it's the message I received, the enemy used it to make me doubt myself. I believed these lies so easily because I didn't have a father there to speak the truth over me.
Speaker 1:The enemy's voice was the most constant voice speaking to me. The other way, and this is probably more common for me, is for people to say nothing at all. No one was there to tell me I was doing a good job or that I was on the right track. I simply had no affirmation that I was making progress. Have you ever had a moment when you make progress that you were really proud of only to look around and see that no one was there to celebrate you?
Speaker 1:It's a terrible feeling. And it's subtle moments like these that the lies of the enemy start to come. Thoughts swirl. Am I even doing this right? Is this even working?
Speaker 1:I'm probably gonna find a way to screw this up. I'm a failure. Believing in yourself is no small matter. A person filled with self confidence and high self esteem is a force to be reckoned with. The enemy knows this and wants to get you to see yourself in the worst light possible.
Speaker 1:He will try to bring up past failures and hurts just to get you to focus on the negative. Remember that time you tried and failed? You've always quit, and you're probably gonna quit this time too. It's too hard. Just give up.
Speaker 1:The enemy will sing that song for as long as he is seeing results. For some people, that song has worked for a long, long time. The enemy's scheme is to get you to doubt yourself, which ultimately is to doubt god's ability to work in you, but they are just lies. The sooner we recognize them for what they are and are able to replace them with truth, the sooner freedom will come. For the longest time, I thought I was dumb because I didn't do well in school.
Speaker 1:I feared that because of my insufficiencies and overall unloveability, I was going to be alone forever. All of those were lies that the enemy used to get me to see myself in the wrong light. Where I might not have had what it took, God did. Lie number three. You are always going to be this way.
Speaker 1:Hopelessness. Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs thirteen twelve. I've been on this earth for a while now, and I've come to realize one undeniable truth about myself. I am a needy individual.
Speaker 1:I just am. I know men aren't supposed to need lots of attention, but I guess I'm just different. Give me all the attention. I love it when someone reaches out to me just to say hello, and I'm a sucker for personalized notes or gifts. My friends make fun of me for going deep in conversations too much, and I could spend hours just sitting and talking.
Speaker 1:Coming from a home where my needs for love, attention, and affirmations weren't met, it makes sense that I am so needy. My wife is somewhat the opposite of me. She came from an upbringing completely different than mine, which is why her needs are my opposite. She is fairly self sufficient and doesn't always favor deep conversations. She enjoys notes and gifts, but they don't move the needle for her like they do for me.
Speaker 1:You can see how this could be an issue in our marriage. I need a lot and expect her to meet my needs. Meanwhile, my wife doesn't understand why I am so needy and feels like she can never meet my expectations. We're working through it and making progress, but it is rather difficult. Just about any married person will likely relate to persistent areas of concern.
Speaker 1:Oftentimes, I wish I wasn't so needy. I want to change so badly, but I've had a really hard time trying to figure out how to do so. I find myself hearing the lie, things are always going to be this way, or you two will never be on the same page. It's easy to believe things will never change when you've been dealing with the same issue for years. I can totally see why people give up due to the difficulties of life.
Speaker 1:It's always gonna be like this. I can't change is a belief that is easy to subscribe to, and that's exactly what the enemy wants you to do. The enemy wants to destroy hope and leave you in a pit of despair. The lies that we believe can feel like bondage and like we're in prison, leaving us stuck. Some of the deceptions of the enemy I have fallen victim to in the past are, why try harder when there's no way you can succeed?
Speaker 1:You might as well give up. There's no use. It's always going to be like this, so you might as well get used to it. If he can get you to believe things will never change, things will never change. In this, he has won.
Speaker 1:By now in the chapter, we've settled that the enemy is going to attack and what that attack generally looks like. But how do we prepare for battle and keep his lies from disrupting us? The answer is simple. Bear in mind, simple doesn't always mean easy. We must replace the lies of the enemy with the truth of God, and doing this takes a daily, intentional rewiring of our brains.
Speaker 1:God calls us to be sober minded. He tells us in Romans twelve two, do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Remember reading that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood earlier? Well, the second half of that verse tells us to put on the full armor of God so that when evil comes, you will be able to stand your ground. So pause for a second.
Speaker 1:Notice that the verse says when, not if. An attack from the enemy is not a possibility but a promise. So armor up. Paul mentions the belt of truth, the shield of faith, the sword of the spirit, the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of salvation, and the sandals of peace. Books have been written, dissecting each aspect of guard's armor.
Speaker 1:But for now, I'll say don't leave anything out. With intentionality, study every piece of the armor and make a conscious choice to apply these things. You can stumble into bondage, but you won't stumble out. It takes an intentional stand. We must continually renew our minds, every minute of every hour, knowing God's word will fill our hearts with his truth instead of being prone to believe the lies of the enemy.
Speaker 1:Other things like being joyful and focusing in on what you're doing right instead of what you're doing wrong help as well. I'm not talking about unrealistic optimism, but intentional optimism. We naturally want to drift towards the bad in our thoughts and focus, so it takes a lot of work to steer ourselves towards the good. I want God's perspective on how I am doing, not some other person's perspective and certainly not the enemy's. Topics like spiritual warfare and rewiring the brain have been covered at length in many great books.
Speaker 1:While I want to shed light on these things, the aim of this book is not a deep dive into Christian psychology. For further reading on this topic, may I recommend Winning the War in Your Mind by Craig Groeschel, Get Out of Your Head by Ginny Allen, as well as Mindset by Carol Dweck, and Learned Optimism by Martin Siegelman. All of these books have had a profound impact on how I manage my thought life, rid my thinking of lies, and embrace freedom. Renewing and rewiring the mind is an act of maintenance. This means it is an ongoing pursuit.
Speaker 1:Even the most sanctified saints will never graduate to a place where they no longer require the renewing of the mind. Replacing a lies with truth is a lifelong journey and one that is more than worthwhile. Easy? No. Effective?
Speaker 1:More than you can imagine. Tell me. On the next pages, do the following exercise. Fill out the chart and answer, what lies do you believe, and what are the opposite of those lies? An example chart is provided.
Speaker 1:For me, the lies is this. For me, Satan speaks lots of lies over my life, but I need to fix myself on the truth that God speaks over me. For example, a lie is that I cannot do what God has called me to do. I don't have what it takes. But the truth is I can do what the Lord has called me to do.
Speaker 1:The lie is I'm a bad husband, father, and leader. The truth is I'm a good husband, father, and leader. The lie is I'm a Saul. I'm a fake and insecure. But the truth is I'm a David, confident in God.
Speaker 1:The lie is I'm angry, critical, and fearful. The truth is I am a patient and gentle man who celebrates well because he trusts God. The lie is I'm selfish and prideful. I'm a people pleaser, and I'll eventually fail. But the truth is I will succeed, and I care more about pleasing God than pleasing man.
Speaker 1:I want what God wants. The lie is my family is going to be cursed because I am going to fail. But God's truth is my family will be taken care of because God is a good father who loves us and is for us. The lie is I'm an impostor. The truth is I'm the real deal.
Speaker 1:The lie, I don't hear the Lord, and I'm on my own. Truth, I can trust the Holy Spirit inside me. Lie, God's love is conditional and dependent upon my performance. The truth is God's love is unconditional and not dependent on my performance. The lie is no one really likes me.
Speaker 1:The truth is I am surrounded by godly friends in a community who love me and who are for me. So what are your lies, and what's God's truth in response to those lies?