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The purpose of the IT Leaders Council is to bring together IT Directors and Managers for leadership training, educational content from guest speakers, and peer discussions in a vendor-free, collaborative environment. IT Leaders Councils are currently offered in Indianapolis, IN and Columbus, OH, with more cities coming soon!
00;00;00;19 - 00;00;26;13
Rob Bell
So my name is Dr. Robert, the sports psychology coach. So what I do is I work with athletes, coaches and teams on mental toughness, helping them perform their best when it matters the most. I've been blessed enough to work on the PGA Tour. I have three different PGA Tour winners and that's me. So I was like, and I think we like acronyms, but let me start out with this first.
00;00;26;15 - 00;00;54;04
Rob Bell
This is obviously not the car I'm talking about that we're going to use. But I remember this day because this was April 20th, 1996. That was my mom's 1989 Camaro that I had driven. And I remember at that point in my life, being an absolute knucklehead, being a dumb idiot who had no clue about anything in life and thinking that I did know it all.
00;00;54;06 - 00;01;12;29
Rob Bell
I remember that day specifically because I was a RAF guide and I guided a trip on the RAF that morning, April 20th, very cold. But then it was Earth Day. I remember sense it being Earth Day. I remember some friends that were going to go to a party, and that's exactly what I did. And I went to that party and then I thought it'd be a good idea.
00;01;12;29 - 00;01;41;01
Rob Bell
Let's drive back to college that night. When I'm driving back to college, about 530 that evening on a very mountainous road, I crossed the center line and I remember that in my mind. Cross Is there one strike and somebody handle? I remember thanking God that I didn't hurt anybody else. And I thank God that I was still alive because I was given another shot.
00;01;41;03 - 00;02;10;07
Rob Bell
The pain that breaking your collarbone, breaking my jaw hitting the windshield was still nothing in particular to the emotional pain that I caused my family, that I caused everyone around me. And I shared this because you might not have this experience, but I guarantee you we've all had this type of experience, that emotional pain that really changes us.
00;02;10;09 - 00;02;39;18
Rob Bell
And I share that because this moment I made the commitment after that that no matter what happened since, God gave me an extra shot, that I wasn't going to blow it. If you ever give me another chance in life, you give me a second chance. I'm not going to blow it. I'm going to go all the way. So talking about motivation like motivation is caught more than it's taught me.
00;02;39;19 - 00;03;02;05
Rob Bell
Say that one again. Motivation, mental toughness. It's caught more than it's taught. What I hope to share today is how can we allow these experiences, know when someone's going to be in that situation? How are they going to be able to catch it? Because I believe we can prepare them for. I think we've all had these type of experiences.
00;03;02;08 - 00;03;19;17
Rob Bell
And the reason why I share this, too, is this was also a huge moment that happened in my life. Now, what's a hinge? Everybody, give me 20 seconds to invite attention. All eyes on me. Okay. Ready to go? Every door has a hinge. Door Without a hinge, there's a wall. Just doesn't work. Do you ever hear about doors opening and closing in life?
00;03;19;17 - 00;03;35;06
Rob Bell
That's because of the hinge. Do you ever hear of a rusty door? Like it's not the door that's rusty. If the hinge get rusty. So what the his is in our lives is going to be that one person, that one moment or one decision that makes all the difference in our lives. It connects who we are with, who we're going to become.
00;03;35;08 - 00;03;56;19
Rob Bell
Okay, Good space. Back l So we cannot connect the dots and make looking forward, right? We have no idea who is going to be that person, who is going to be that moment or what that decision is going to be. We can only connect the dots in life looking backwards and seeing the impact that one person had in our life that that one decision had on our life.
00;03;56;26 - 00;04;23;17
Rob Bell
Sometimes we don't know. These hinge moments occur two weeks, months or years later. Think about how you met your partner. How did you meet your spouse? How did you end up at the career that you are at? The school you went to small hinges, swing big doors. Now, I should have this hinge moment because tragedies that happen in our life, tragedies are immediate hinges, because from that moment on, everything is different.
00;04;23;20 - 00;04;50;12
Rob Bell
And this was a hinge moment that from that moment on, I think now I know that in every bad situation, some good is going to come out, some good is going to come out of every bad situation that we have. And what the good that came out of that situation was, perspective of and gratitude. I simply wasn't going to blow it again.
00;04;50;14 - 00;05;08;24
Rob Bell
And even sure enough, today I was telling my wife that, yes, even sharing this story today, like it brings up a lot of shame because to think, why was I gifted in that? That I didn't hurt anybody. I wasn't hurt myself when I made such a horrible mistake. That point like so the only thing I could do is make sure that I'm going to pay that forward.
00;05;08;27 - 00;05;29;18
Rob Bell
But I was gifted with with motivation and knowing I wasn't going to blow in every bad situation. Some good is going to come out of it. The other part about the hinge that we have to realize and recognize is that no matter how bad our situation is right now, no matter how bleak that outcome looks, it only takes one.
00;05;29;21 - 00;05;45;18
Rob Bell
That's the beauty of it. And it only takes one person that we have to meet one connection, right? One catch of the ball to make all the difference. That's what we get ready for. The reason why the mental game is so important is we just don't know who that person is going to be or what that moment's going to happen.
00;05;45;21 - 00;06;11;07
Rob Bell
So I also know that it is not about the setback that happens in life. It is always about the comeback. Bit of a cheeky title when it comes to that was my seventh book on mental toughness that I wrote. But it's not about the setback. It's always about the comeback. The setbacks are going to happen. We're going to have hurt head ups, hang ups and headaches that happen.
00;06;11;10 - 00;06;27;12
Rob Bell
But it's not about the setback. It's always going to be how we and you heard this right. It's always about how we respond to that adversity, how we respond to the challenge. Help me out with this one just to make sure we're all living this. All right. It's not about the setback. It's about that. Okay. Now I know we can just do just a tad bit better, just with the energy, right?
00;06;27;19 - 00;06;49;22
Rob Bell
It's not about the setback. It's about the comeback. It's always about the comeback. And there's always one in them. Right. Got to be a michigan fan. It's always about the comeback. So how do we use a car? Let me ask you a question. So use a car to increase your team's motivation. Let me ask that question before moving forward and just think about this.
00;06;49;22 - 00;07;10;12
Rob Bell
What do you think is the most important mental skill? Like in order for success, what do you think is the most important mental skill? Now think about it. Put one in your head. Now there might be a few. What do you think? The most important one. Now? I ask that question. So just so we're all on the same page.
00;07;10;12 - 00;07;25;17
Rob Bell
If you have an idea, just raise your hand. I promise I will not call on anybody. I just want to know that everyone has one too, in their mind, But raise them apart. I want to make sure we're on the same wavelength. I won't call an NBA player. All right. What's the most common understatement? All right. Give me some answers.
00;07;25;17 - 00;07;54;29
Rob Bell
What the third man is? I don't know. I like slow learner here. Discernment. Yeah. And what do you mean by that? Yes. Knowing what? Basically organizing the body's organizing thoughts. What was this is versus persistence. Okay, keep it going. Now it's trust. Okay, Good. Trust, Peaches. That one. Right. Trust. Confidence. What was an elbow Resilience? What else?
00;07;55;02 - 00;08;27;14
Rob Bell
Yes, What's that? Staying focused. Absolute gratitude. Gratitude. Right. Grab two perspective. Their superpowers. Absolute ability through their ability to adapt. Right. Your ability to adjust. Give me some others. Any others? Discipline. Good. Many others. It's that goal setting. Goal setting, setting goals. So many others. This pursuit of wisdom as called pursuit of wisdom as opposed to not. Right.
00;08;27;14 - 00;08;58;23
Rob Bell
Yeah, I love that. I told my daughter that. Right. What's that difference between wisdom and knowledge? Right. And we know we've heard this one, right. But knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing that you don't put it in a fruit salad was and knowledge yet and you only get you only get wisdom through experience absolute any ups good they're all important they're all important and there is a reason why you think that is the most important mental skill.
00;08;58;25 - 00;09;30;29
Rob Bell
Absolute. So I'm not one to say, hey, no, that's not the most important mental skill. But if you think about discipline, persistence, perseverance, goal setting, how bad do you want it? The will to prepare, the will to prepare has to be greater than the will to win. Doing whatever it takes that is on the baseline of motivation. Now, every coach that you talk to, every guru that's going to be out there on Instagram or YouTube or wherever, sharing you that is always talking about motivation.
00;09;31;02 - 00;09;51;26
Rob Bell
And I'm not denying that's not important. That's why I want to share with you today. But it is the bottom line. It is the foundation of mental toughness because but it does go beyond that. But when it comes to what I can share with you today, this is how we motivate those that are going to be around us and part of our team.
00;09;51;29 - 00;10;17;06
Rob Bell
How do we create the environment that we can help motivate one another and motivate those that we work? This doesn't necessarily work with us, but you will look at these three and see which one lacks from your viewpoint. And why does that sap the motivation to do whatever it takes to put forth that extra effort? Right? There is no traffic jam on the extra mile.
00;10;17;09 - 00;10;42;24
Rob Bell
We all love that one, but this is how we motivate those that are going to be around us. Now all three have to be there. If one of these are lacking, then the three legged stool folks, what are they? It's going to be competence, autonomy, and really this is based in science. It just so we don't get caught in the hassle.
00;10;42;26 - 00;11;02;02
Rob Bell
I'm going to bring that one back up. Don't worry about it. I have studied every theory of motivation that there is, right? This is my world. This is all that I've ever done in my life. And this is the only theory that holds water. We don't quit smoke ing to live longer. No, we quit smoking because our teeth are yellow.
00;11;02;02 - 00;11;20;22
Rob Bell
We just want to stink anymore. So when I study every single theory, this theory holds water, and that is competence, autonomy and relatedness. All three have to be there. Competence is confidence. We have and I'm going to show you like, how do we do this as well? I'm not just going to give this to you and then move on.
00;11;20;22 - 00;11;39;15
Rob Bell
But it's like, how do we do this? How do you treat the competence, competence, confidence? We want to feel like we are good at what we do. How many people feel that they are competent at what they do? Okay, do it right? Yeah. I mean, you have to be at some level or you would never try anything at all.
00;11;39;17 - 00;12;08;04
Rob Bell
Autonomy. Autonomy is that I am free to make decisions in my role. Right? If you think of Ritz Carlton, Ritz Carlton outfits, every Frontline employee with 20 $500 to handle any kind of problem that a customer is going to have, they give them the all time that they don't need to run this up the chain. If somebody is having an issue autonomy.
00;12;08;04 - 00;12;40;03
Rob Bell
So the freedom to be able to make the decisions on their own and then relatedness, if you watch relatedness is always on the back end. But if you watch, any team that is successful will always talk about the locker room, how close we were, how we just had that goal. And that's what we are focused on. They're always gonna talk about in relatedness is simply that individuals are part of something bigger than themselves, that I feel connected to those that are going to be around me.
00;12;40;03 - 00;13;00;11
Rob Bell
I feel a part of this team. I feel that not only what I do and what I do, I'm going to say difference, but that you appreciate and that you recognize that relatedness. All three has to be there. Competence, autonomy, relatedness and other share. What do like how do you tweet stick about them in your life? So I'll say this right.
00;13;00;11 - 00;13;20;13
Rob Bell
Competence. Confidence breeds success. If you think about competence, it is confidence. Just a belief that I could be success. Autonomy. Simply want to feel empowered in my position in the last one, like relate as you want to feel part of the team people. I want to take a deeper dive that's I'm not just making this stuff up. Like that's the theory right there.
00;13;20;15 - 00;13;44;21
Rob Bell
Which one do you think? So I'll raise raise your hand when I when I say the one that you think you struggle with the most and I'll share with you one nostrum. All right. How many people struggle with and think about your organization, where you are, How many people struggle with competence? How many people struggle with autonomy? All right.
00;13;44;21 - 00;14;05;20
Rob Bell
Now, how many people struggle with relatedness? Okay, good. But there are all three support, right? I always start both relatedness. Yeah. I gotta feel part of the team that I'm working with and that, you know, what I do makes a difference. So how do we tweet these Competence is confidence. Yes, there are a lot of skills that go into how we build confidence.
00;14;05;27 - 00;14;24;19
Rob Bell
But the one reason and the one way that I know to do it is tell them that they're good at what they do when they are told you are good at what you do, you recognize for what you do. It automatically builds confidence in somebody that, Hey, you know what? I am good and they've got to be reminded.
00;14;24;21 - 00;14;43;16
Rob Bell
So I always think it's like, I just can't tell my daughter, Hey, I'm really proud of you. I'm really proud of you. I'm really proud of, you know, hey, I'm really proud or however we want to be really happy that you've been making your bed every day. Find something very specific to praise them. We can praise them, we can punish them.
00;14;43;16 - 00;15;15;06
Rob Bell
But praising is always what's going to build a confidence in one another. Autonomy. What's one way that we can build autonomy and individuals think about the problems, the problems that you have within your organization and way. I think that autonomy gets built is if you think of like a tree, the tree problems that we have, they're going to be leaf problems, they're going to be branch problems, are going to be limb problems, they're going to be trunk problems.
00;15;15;06 - 00;15;30;11
Rob Bell
And there's root problems now, the root problems you've got to handle. Right. The trunk problems you're going to have to handle. But what are the leaf problems that they don't need your permission in order to go ahead and run with that. Take care. And this is where you've got to be thinking in your mind, like, what are these issues?
00;15;30;11 - 00;15;54;27
Rob Bell
Because no one wants to be micromanaged. And when we talk about micromanaging and making sure everything is correct, it just doesn't work. We have to empower those that are around us. And that's the way I look at late. When we have problems, have I equipped them to go ahead and take care of them? And then what are the leaf problems in your organization that you deal with that you allow them to do?
00;15;54;29 - 00;16;22;08
Rob Bell
And then the last one, right related what company you think is really good ever laid, and that's making sure everyone is part of the team. Give me a couple. A couple companies. Lily What's a lily? Lily Fantastic job, right? Chick-Fil-A. Absolutely. Did I say Chick-Fil-A or is that just in my mind? Not what others? Southwest's. Yeah, that one.
00;16;22;11 - 00;16;47;13
Rob Bell
Was that just in my mind too. I don't want to project my own beliefs and thoughts of us relatedness. The part of I need to feel part of something bigger than what I am or what I do to related this piece. How do we build that and one another, reminding them and letting them know how their project, how their piece right here, how it made a bigger impact on the overall goals.
00;16;47;16 - 00;17;09;05
Rob Bell
How was it that you do that you report to this? And then the other part that I think we just don't do well off is I don't think we celebrate. I think what happens is we celebrate it and then it's on to the next great job or the next what's next? And then we just don't celebrate. When we want to celebrate, I think we want to be part of those that are going to be driven.
00;17;09;05 - 00;17;33;01
Rob Bell
We're focused on the process more than the product, and I totally get it. But I think allowing people to celebrate and just letting them know is how we build a relatedness. A You are part of something bigger than yourself and you are a part of this team and how integral you are. Competence, autonomy and relatedness. But all three simple tools that we kind of take with them, this is the one that holds water.
00;17;33;07 - 00;17;48;19
Rob Bell
All three got to be there. And then the asker, when you take this back to your organization and ask the people that work right, do you feel valued here? Do you feel like you're part of the team? Do you feel like you're good at what you do? And what areas can I empower you more and they'll let you know.
00;17;48;21 - 00;18;03;27
Rob Bell
Now, do you have to do this? Absolutely. With everybody? I don't know. But what I do know is this is if you want to change the way you feel about somebody, you change the way you treat them. Let me say I want to get if you want to change the way you feel about somebody, you change the way you treat them.
00;18;04;00 - 00;18;24;27
Rob Bell
And these are just the way that you build that motivation. Because when you get somebody that is self-motivated, that wants to do it out of their own will, that wants to go that extra mile, it makes your job a whole lot. Money only goes so far. We know this. These are the internal factors that make a difference in people's lives.
00;18;24;27 - 00;18;49;02
Rob Bell
All three of think about to your family. You can take this back to your family right away. Do they feel that they're good at what they do? My son struggles with competence. My daughter struggles with autonomy. She thinks she she needs when she's 15 right there, she feels like she can do everything. So I need to then equip her and then the relating and support, letting them know that they are such an important part of this family and how our lives are better because they are in.
00;18;49;05 - 00;19;04;08
Rob Bell
And now last point I want to show you with a take home message is what we do in life, no matter where we are or what our role is, is we plant trees that we're never going to see. You have no idea the impact that your words can have on your body because you plant trees that you're never going to see.
00;19;04;14 - 00;19;28;20
Rob Bell
You plant trees who shade that other people are going to enjoy it. Because how can I know the impact of telling somebody? David Munoz, just so nice meeting you and you made such a difference in my life. We don't know. We can't sometimes, as some of you are very fortunate to have somebody reach out that you have had an impact on their lives and what it what a feeling that makes how we hold on to that.
00;19;28;23 - 00;19;48;12
Rob Bell
We have to realize that your job as a coach, your job as an individual, as a human being, is you plant trees that are never going to see because you can't know the impact of telling somebody that you believe in them, what that makes like in their life. And here's my proof. I've I have a voicemail message from 2012.
00;19;48;15 - 00;20;10;17
Rob Bell
I was speaking one of my professors I really revered. He saw me speak, left a voicemail, and I still got it. And it's just pumping me up. Do you know that since 2012, I've left thousands of messages on other people's phones? I can't tell you one thing I said on any kind of voice message, but. But I can play that whenever I want.
00;20;10;20 - 00;20;30;11
Rob Bell
So you don't know the impact, but you just have to know that your actions and what you do think a difference in people's lives. We just don't know always what that is. And then the last point is this I appreciate you having me. There is is I can't wait to do patience. Right. Patience. We know time is our most important resource.
00;20;30;13 - 00;20;52;27
Rob Bell
We know this. It's not money. We know it's time because everyone in this room knows how fast that time goes. And we have to keep that which is important. And we have to know that which is important. When I see what happens today is that everything is important. Then everything is rushed. When everything gets rushed, that's when mistakes get made.
00;20;52;29 - 00;21;15;18
Rob Bell
And what happens is we ask to be urgent towards that which is important, but we have to be patient towards that which isn't unimportant. Now, the message I basically leave with with with motivation is the times are most precious resource that makes an impact in people's life. I think when you thank somebody for your time, thank you for being patient too.
00;21;15;18 - 00;21;34;12
Rob Bell
Sounds a whole lot better than hey, sorry I'm late. When you thanks somebody for their time. I think you're thanking them for the most precious resource and then we value it. I'm going to stick around. Love meaning? And love to talk with you. One to give you this. You could take this away with you. Implement it into your life.
00;21;34;15 - 00;21;54;26
Rob Bell
If anybody is interested, any books to I've got this for. So I got to put that out there. All right. Thank you all so much for having us. And, you know, we'll do and watch it. Rob, if any of these teams are interested in engaging with you, what's the best way they can be that you can talk in the afterwards about my websites?
00;21;54;26 - 00;22;20;23
Rob Bell
Dr. Rob Russell and I really, really appreciate this. Thank you. I'm very helpful. It does strike me that it's about management down in some of our situations. We're trying to advance above us to be more supportive of this idea about even have resources or anything that would help in that situation. Yeah, that's a great point. I'm glad you brought that up because the harshest critic is myself.
00;22;20;23 - 00;22;40;26
Rob Bell
I'm I go back and realize I was like, I didn't talk about that. Well, don't do that. Well, that's just how I am, though, right? Of. Yeah, let me can I just it's it's not a slow pitch softball question and I could just, like, hit really hard. And that's the only kind of questions I want to answer right now.
00;22;40;28 - 00;23;07;11
Rob Bell
That was funny, but because that's kind of like a slider. But yes, and I'd love to answer it afterwards if we can edit. I was like, How about two more? Two questions, comments. Talk about how do you recreate the hinge moment where like car moment to like rejiggering your motivation and your connection with the choices it made in the moment?
00;23;07;18 - 00;23;28;23
Rob Bell
Well, part of it is, you know, we don't make change unless there's pain, right? Really, There has to be enough pain. If there's not enough pain, then we need more pain. That's the only way that people are really going to change. And unfortunately, when when you experience that pain, I make sure I stay in touch with that pain.
00;23;28;23 - 00;23;49;08
Rob Bell
I still make mistakes, I still mess up. But it's knowing that that wasn't my identity, that that was just a mistake. That wasn't my identity. What was is a vigil. Like I said, I was that was the gift that I got from that was I wasn't going to bullet. So I just stay in touch with that. Good point.
00;23;49;11 - 00;24;07;28
Rob Bell
I think that was slow pitch softball. Right. You just kind of do that one on. How about one more move on to bigger, better things, more important, not all at once too. And everybody raise your hand. Want to ask a question? I get embarrassed. So is there anymore. All right. Thank you all. So nice media outlet.