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Tomorrow can be different from today.
Our lives often leave us feeling hopeless—like nothing will ever change. But perspective is everything. When you know where to look, hope can be found in the spaces and places you least expect.
Join Jason Gore (Lead Pastor of Hope Community Church) for a fresh perspective, practical steps, and weekly encouragement that hope really is possible… even in real life.
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Growth is closer when we have someone
that's investing in us Mm-Hmm.
In our lives. You said you just need to go ask somebody.
I'm trying to put myself in the,
in the seat of the listener.
So I'll ask this question,
what happens if I ask somebody and they say, no?
Welcome to the Hope and Real Life podcast with Jason Gore.
Our team is passionate
and committed to bringing you more hope in the everyday real
areas of your life.
If this conversation and content is valuable for you,
please do us a favor, like, subscribe, and even share.
You never know how valuable it could be
to share a little bit of hope with someone else.
Let's get the conversation started.
Well, welcome to episode two here in season two
of Hope in Real Life, uh, where, uh, we have a team of folks
that, that are passionate about bringing hope
to the everyday moments of your life.
We're here this week to talk about a topic that I know many
of our listeners, uh, want to, to, to learn about.
And it's this idea of mentoring.
And, and I'm here with, uh, with a friend of mine
by the name of Kevin Giles.
And, and, uh, Kevin, before we introduce you,
just a quick word here.
You know, we spent some time as a team, uh,
over the last few months just thinking through
what are the areas in polling our, our audience,
what are the areas where folks want
to find a bit more hope in their life, in this area
of personal growth and leadership, uh,
was a consistent topic,
and then even this subtopic of mentoring.
And so we believe that just by, um,
spending some time talking about this conversation,
we can help some folks find some hope.
And so, Kevin, uh, welcome to the show.
Why don't you just tell our
listeners a little bit about yourself? Sure.
Thanks, Jason. Uh, definitely looking forward to this.
Appreciate the opportunity. Yeah.
Uh, it's a great thing you have going here.
Uh, a little bit about me.
Um, been married for going on 20 years.
It'll be 20 years in April to my beautiful bright Tamara.
I have two girls, 16 and 13.
So we're definitely in those teenage years in high
school and middle school right now.
Um, yeah. Grew up in the care area. Been here all my life.
Um, yeah. Just excited to be, be here.
Been at Hope Community Church now for,
it's about 12 years or so.
12, 13 years that been attending on a regular basis. Right.
Which, that's kind of the tie.
That's how you and I know each other Yeah. Is through hope.
But you just said you have two teenage girls in the house.
Yes. At the same time. Yes. Okay.
So you could probably be a mentor for a lot
of different people just in that area.
I, I need a lot of mentors and
just in that realm right now. Yes.
Uh, Kevin, tell us a little bit about
what you do professionally.
What keeps you busy during the week? Yep, sure.
So, uh, I work at a small engineering firm here in Cary.
Uh, my father started the business in 2003.
I joined him, uh, in 2010. Uh, and we've been very blessed.
We've got 23 employees now. So, uh, yeah, pretty small firm.
But, uh, wear a bunch of hats there.
Do all different types of things, uh, within that firm from,
uh, recruiting to financial stuff, to business development,
marketing, all, all the different things
within that, that role. Yeah.
Cool. Well, we're here to talk about mentoring.
Uh, I'm sure our listeners would love to hear right out
of the gate, you know, why should we be listening to Kevin?
So, so what is it that makes you an expert on mentoring
and, uh, what value can you bring us
in this conversation? Let's
Say? Uh,
a good question.
What, what might make me the expert is
that I'm not an expert.
Uh, I, I need help.
I don't, I don't know, uh, a lot of things.
I mean, there's a lot of things I need help with
that I'm not an expert at that.
I need that growth.
Um, over the past maybe 15 years,
I've been much more intentional about finding mentors
and finding those relationships
and trusting people, developing those relationships and,
and meeting with people that are more experienced further,
further along the journey, further down the road, uh,
that are better than me at things.
Uh, and just had a whole lot of growth through that.
It's, yeah, it's been phenomenal.
Probably got two dozen or so
mentors I could think of right now.
Various aspects of my life that have been very impactful.
So, so I, I wanna highlight this.
I wanna make sure we're really clear. 'cause I just asked
you what makes you an expert,
and you said probably that you're not, but here's the deal.
When, when you look around in the world right now Mm-Hmm.
If somebody were to look at you, Kevin,
and, uh, I would say other than the fact that of course,
they'd see you have a phenomenal haircut Yes.
Right outta the gate. Uh, they, they, they would
See it's a lifestyle, not a hairstyle.
That's exactly right. Exactly. Yes.
For those of you who aren't watching on a platform
where you can see, uh, we are both very bald.
So, uh, but, uh, no, they, but,
but I think folks would look at your life
and say, okay, this guy's been married 19, almost 20 years.
Mm-Hmm. All right. Um, healthy marriage, best we can tell,
uh, and, uh, two daughters, right?
That, uh, you know, they're still living in the home.
Mm-Hmm. And they're functioning.
And you got, you know, I got a
teenage daughter at, at home as well.
So I know that that has enough days and down days, but, uh,
and successful in the business world, right?
Your life's together, which in the world right now, I mean,
that's, that right there is like, that's a win.
But yet you're willing to say, I don't know enough.
I need to grow. And so I just wanna highlight like when,
as it relates to find
and hope in our lives, there is something to realizing.
It doesn't matter where we are, we need to be growing.
Right? Yes. That's been a big part of my journey.
When I was younger, right outta college, uh, engaged,
married, uh, I was young and knew it all, right?
I was gonna conquer the world. I knew how
to do everything on my own, didn't need any help.
Uh, and the things started getting really complicated,
and it just, you quickly realize that I need help.
I, I, I don't know how to do these things.
I don't know what's next. I don't know
what it's gonna look like five years from now. Yeah, yeah.
As I was spending some time this week, thinking through,
like this actual time together,
I ended up making some notes.
And, uh, what I ended up, uh, writing down was,
hope is always closer when you're growing, all right?
Like in life, you know, you're, you're,
you're usually either moving forward
or you're moving backwards, right?
Yes. And so, if we're looking for a bit more hope in our
lives, hope is always closer when you're growing.
And then growth is always closer
when there's someone who's investing in you.
A hundred percent. Yes. And so we just got, man,
if we're, if we recognize that,
and if we take that step, then man, the likelihood
of moving in the right direction is much higher.
Um, let me ask you this. Uh, what is mentoring?
What has it looked like for you in your life over the years?
Sure. Um, I mean, I was very blessed
to have parents that were great.
Uh, coaches, teachers, all those things,
I guess would be kind of the yearly mentors in life.
If you look back on it.
Uh, a wonderful bright, she's been, uh,
a good mentor in many aspects.
Um, I guess I got much more intentional about it.
It, it was really 2009, 2010,
when I was making a big career transition from, um, the,
the boring older, uh, a large corporation working more
of the, the cog on a wheel,
and then stepping out to go work with my dad
and just, just me and him gonna be in it together.
And it's just a two person business, right?
It was just a big change for me.
And then at the same time,
I was getting more plugged in at church,
developing my faith much better, developing
that relationship with Jesus, SLU better.
Uh, and just had a lot of questions. Right?
And so finding those mentors became much more important,
finding people that are further along that journey.
Um, yeah.
And that's just been the biggest part of, it's going out
and finding those, being more engaged with people around me,
getting plugged in to different groups, getting active,
meeting people, being more intentional about, Hey,
this guy I met, he's five years ahead
of me in this particular area.
He's more experienced. He's doing great in this area.
I, I bet he can share some wisdom. I bet he could do that.
And just being intentional about meeting with him, getting,
getting on a regular basis with him.
Yeah. So, so what I'm hearing you say, and,
and I wanna point this out
'cause you've said the word people, you know Mm-Hmm.
Multiple times here. And so some people could think, uh,
Hey, I need to get a mentor,
and so I've gotta find this one person, this sage
that's down the road in every category.
And I got a lineup. And it sounds like for you,
it's been more of a, Hey, in my marriage, I got this level
of mentoring as it relates to business.
I got this level of mentoring as it relates
to my spiritual life, which to some
of our listeners might not be a thing at all.
Mm-Hmm. I'd encourage you, you probably should engage
that side to some degree,
but for you, you said it was,
so let's get a mentor in that area.
Um, how do you identify the different areas
that you actually need to find?
And, and I'm saying not
for the listener, like for you personally.
Sure. Like, how have you decided I need
to go find that person as a mentor?
It, it, it probably comes down
to whatever I'm anxious about, whatever I'm nervous about.
Uh, looking back in 2009, 2010, it was,
I'm gonna go jump from a 2000 person organization
as a career to a two person.
Uh, and I gotta start wearing different
hats in this organization.
I'm gonna be responsible for sales and business development
and recruiting and doing some work
and kind of financial stuff.
And I don't, I don't know anything about that stuff.
So that, finding those things as I was anxious about,
or struggling with, um, on my fitness journey,
getting more healthy, right?
I mean, it's the looking in the mirror being 40 pounds,
50 pounds overweight, not feeling good, feeling tired,
knowing that I need to get better at that, right?
Knowing that I need to improve my
lifestyle and I need help with it.
It, I need to find somebody
that can help coach me along that.
That way it's finding those areas I'm struggling with.
Um, I, I, I guess there's some humility built into it,
is just being able to realize that, uh,
I need help in those areas.
Uh, that's been a big part of it.
And then finding those people, I mean,
that's a whole nother, and that's a whole nother discussion
with getting connected, finding the organizations.
Where are the people gonna be at, right?
It's, for me, it's not likely gonna happen on Zoom.
Uh, it's something that I need to be meeting
with people on a regular basis, developing those for me,
the best mentors have started kind of as, as friendships,
where I get to know them and trust them,
and enough that I can be vulnerable with them.
Uh, and then when I start to get to know them better
and hear their story, and see areas of their life
that they're excellent at, that,
uh, I could use some help in.
That's kind of when I've started leaning in. We
Are going to take a brief break from our show
to let you know about a resource
that we are making available to you.
If you're looking for a resource on personal development
or spiritual enrichment, then you've gotta check this out.
It's a free tool. Now, free to our listeners. Free is good.
It was not free for us to create,
but free for our listeners made.
Specifically for anyone who's looking for a bit more hope
and their everyday life, listen to the features,
daily devotions, parenting tips,
financial resources, marriage insights.
There's even a community
where you can share prayer requests.
If you've got things going on in your life, and you can see
and know that other people are praying for you,
this is gonna be available in early January.
We'll make sure everybody knows.
Stay tuned, keep looking for it. We'll have it out.
But listen, tomorrow can be better than today,
and hope is possible even in real life.
Let's get back to the show.
I think, uh, as I, again, as I've thought through mentoring,
uh, uh, over, I don't know how long,
but even specifically in the last week, I think
that temptation could be that we,
we think about mentoring just as that thing
that we do when we sit down
and have a cup of coffee with somebody,
you know, for that one hour.
Mm-Hmm. The reality is, if we have the humility
to realize we need to grow if we want to take action
to grow, um, what I wrote down here is, um,
men mentoring doesn't just happen in a coffee shop.
We can always be watching, listening, learning,
asking questions, but then the last thing I wrote down is we
also have to take the step to apply it.
Yes. Yes.
That is, that is the,
there would be nothing more frustrating if I was on the
other side of the table as a mentor.
And when I've been a mentor, if somebody else,
there's nothing more frustrating than
to be coaching somebody,
be helping somebody be be there to, to live.
They can lean on me and, and helping them make decisions
and give some recommendations, give some advice,
give some routines that they should be getting
into, and then they do nothing.
Yeah. Right? So, yes, do something, do do what they do,
what they're asking you
to try something might be uncomfortable.
That's a great thing. Do that uncomfortable thing. Yeah.
And, and again, and just to stress this, what what,
what I'm hearing from you is, um, it, it doesn't have to be,
be a formal process either.
It, it could be something where you're just,
you're watching some from someone from afar,
and I'm gonna get this wrong,
but there's, you know, something
that somebody's been saying longer than I've been alive.
You know, a smart person learns
from their own mistakes, right?
Mm-Hmm. But someone
with wisdom can actually watch someone else's life
and see how they live,
and then make decisions in their own life based on
what they pick up from others.
I think there's probably some other yes.
Color I could add to that, but at the end of the
Day, ton of examples of that in my life.
Yes. I mean, even from, uh, my fitness journey,
just learning to run and run longer and run more,
and putting more miles on and avoiding injuries
and watching people that have,
or talking to guys that have run 2000 miles,
2,500 miles a year for the past 30 years, right?
And, and knowing what their journey's been looking like
and what types of shoes they do.
And they alternate shoes every 300 miles,
and they have all these routines
to help avoid those injuries and avoid, avoid problems.
Yes. Definitely.
Um, let's do this.
So say we've got a listener right now, they're fired up.
Okay, I get it. All right. I need to grow.
If I'm gonna find more hope in my life, that's gonna come.
If I'm growing and I'm have a higher likelihood of growing,
if I have somebody investing in
me, I'm ready to find a mentor.
What's the first step they need to take?
You gotta go meet people, right?
You gotta get out there and meet somebody.
It's not gonna happen, uh, sitting on your couch at home.
Uh, get plugged in, find an organization.
Uh, for me, the initial one was through, uh, church,
through Hope Community Church,
getting plugged in on a small group.
Uh, one of our current business partners at work, uh,
was a small group leader for me.
And so it was a mentor, actually.
It was more of, for Tamara
and I as well, more of a marriage mentor, uh,
and life mentor early on.
So getting plugged in, get into some, a group environment,
meet some people for me, that's been through Church Hope,
community Church serving, and then also, um, uh,
those small groups, uh, through work
business networking organizations, uh,
through your own organization.
Finding, um, finding, maybe, I don't know
that a boss would be the person you're gonna be comfortable
getting vulnerable with,
but maybe somebody in a different department
that's a little further advanced in the career that's been
around longer, that has more experience.
It's gotta be somebody you're gonna be willing
to be vulnerable with, uh, to an extent.
So, getting out there, meeting people, uh,
finding those different organizations, networking groups.
Um, for me, f three's been a big part of that.
It's a, uh, a men's workout group at a,
its at its simplest form.
Uh, but it's an outdoor group of men that are, I mean,
we're meeting every morning of the week to do a workout,
and there's a bunch of great guys in that group.
Once you get to know them a little bit better,
develop those friendships, see which guys are further,
further along in certain areas of your life that you want
to, uh, want to be like, um, in the business world.
See, CBMC, uh,
Christian Businessmen's
connection's been a great one for me.
Good group of, uh, men out there in the business world and,
and living out that life through, through work.
It's been another just way to go meet people,
find people, connect with people.
Uh, and then the second part of that is
developing those relationships.
It's gotta be somebody you like, right?
It, it can't be somebody that's a jerk.
It's gotta be somebody that,
that you enjoy spending time with.
Uh, and it needs to be somebody
that's better than you at something, right?
So whatever that is, if it's marriage, if it's work,
even within work, you know, I have a couple mentors
that I rely on for, like business development,
sales type stuff.
And some of my role is that then I've got others
that are more financial experts that I'm looking to.
I've got others that are more in that leadership realm of,
uh, what are we doing on leading an organization.
Uh, so even within those areas, just finding, uh,
I don't know that you're ever gonna find the one perfect
person, at least not on this planet, right?
Uh, at least not, uh, here walking with us, uh,
physically on this planet.
Um, but finding somebody that at least in a couple
of areas is, is more advanced.
And then it doesn't have to be like a weird walk up
to somebody you barely know, Hey, will you be my mentor?
Right? For me, it's always been more of,
Hey, let's go grab coffee together.
Lemme take you out to coffee. Let's,
let's go connect over coffee and, and have a discussion.
And then it just kind of naturally progresses into
that more, more formal mentor type relationship. Yeah.
So you mentioned a couple resources there,
or at least a couple of opportunities in F three
and in the, the business network.
Mm-Hmm. So we'll drop, uh, the links
to those down in the show notes,
how they can find more information on that.
The F three thing, anytime somebody mentions something
that involves around fitness, I'm gonna jump in on it.
Yeah. Uh, how, how do they, can you just say,
how do they find the, the closest F three?
If they're like, you know what, I'm fired up,
I'm gonna go try to connect with some guys tomorrow.
Yes. Where do they go? Uh,
F three nation.com.
Okay. Easy website, uh, started in Charlotte in 2011.
It's pretty much all across the US at this point.
If you're in a major metro in the southeast,
you have a workout tomorrow morning within
a couple minutes from your house.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And it's free.
It's free. I mean, It's outdoors,
It's free, it can get cold in the winter.
Yes. I've been to a couple. Yes.
I'm not gonna cover the name that they've given me.
Are you not? I'm Not. All right.
I'm not gonna do that at the moment.
Alright, so listen again.
Hope is closer when you're growing. Mm-Hmm. All right.
And, and growth is closer when we have someone
that's investing in us Mm-Hmm.
In our lives. You said you just need to go ask somebody.
I'm trying to put myself in the,
in the seat of the listener.
So I'll ask this question, what happens if I ask
somebody and they say no?
Hmm. That's a, that's a a good question.
That has, there's definitely been times I've reached out
to people and wanted to get a cup of coffee
and kind of, Hey, let's connect further.
And they, okay, yeah, that sounds great.
We'll do that sometime and gonna give you that kind
of non-committal, blow off answer.
Uh, be patient with it.
Maybe they're busy, maybe they don't have time right now.
Maybe they've expanded their, I mean,
they've spent all their efforts in, in other areas.
Uh, don't be discouraged. Go meet more people. Yeah. Yeah.
Get out there, get involved.
Get more, meet more people. Yeah.
I, um, I, I think I, I asked a question
so I could answer it as well. Yeah.
Smart. No, I, I, I just, uh, 'cause I'm sitting here
and I'm hearing that, I'm like, man,
that could be intimidating.
So I just wanted to take 'em in and offer some hope
and some encouragement and say, Hey, you know what?
They might say, no, that's okay. Mm-Hmm. All right.
They're not gonna think about it again.
You don't have to think about it again.
There's other people out there, but it's still worth it.
Like having someone say no so
that you can find the right Yes.
Is worth it. Yeah. It's worth feeling like,
man, I don't know what happened.
Is there something wrong with me? It's not a big deal.
At the end of the day, your goal is not
for everybody to say yes to you.
The goal is for you to be able to grow so
that you can be at the place in your life
where you're gonna have the hope Mm-Hmm.
That it is that you want to have. So take a chance, go out,
meet some people, know the areas in your life
where you wanna grow and ask somebody to invest in you.
Yes. Uh, as we get ready to wrap this thing up,
I wanna ask you one more question.
Uh, we're, we're gonna flip this thing around,
because again, hope in real life, I say this regularly,
I think most of us have more hope in our
lives when we have a purpose.
And so someone investing in us, that's great,
but that is a bit consuming and it's needed.
Um, but how about those of us that might be at a place that,
um, we have a little bit to give,
but haven't had, uh, an opportunity
or haven't taken a chance yet at mentoring
and investing in other people.
What would you say about that?
Yeah, so probably eight, nine years ago,
we got a little more formal in our household.
My wife and I started mentoring others, uh, specifically
and the most formal aspect in, uh, marriage groups,
marriage, uh, programs through hope reengage,
and then a premar thing we've done recently
with Engaged Couples, which is so much fun.
Yeah. Makes me feel young again.
Um, so making sure you, you're having, you have time, right?
I mean, we're, we're called to love on one another.
We're called to to be in community, um, serving others,
loving on others, acknowledging that, yes, I need to be here
to help other people.
Uh, yeah. And developing those relationships and,
and even looking for it.
I think one of my early mentors, um,
it wasn't me inviting him to coffee.
It was him inviting me to coffee.
I think he saw that I needed some help
and I needed some, needed some growth.
Uh, so doing that same thing, finding those people that,
that are, that are struggling a little bit in a certain area
that you might have some expertise in that you can lean in
and help 'em, that's, yeah. It's very empowering.
Yeah. I think I can say without a doubt, I would not be
where I am in life if it weren't for other people
that were willing to take the time to invest in me.
And I am, I'm at that place in my life where I'm like,
I think I might have a little
bit to, I don't have a lot to give.
I got more rooms to, to,
to grow in myself than I have to give.
Mm-Hmm. But in those areas, man, like other people around us
need to be able to grow
and they need to have somebody else come alongside of them.
And so I just, I say that just to encourage our listeners,
uh, if you're hearing this
and you, um, you have lived some life, you have gone
through some things, man, don't keep that to yourself,
a world out there that is in desperate need and,
and most likely would love to hear what it is that you have
to say, but we gotta be willing to invest it in them.
Yes. As well. Okay. Uh, couple questions.
You know, this season, uh, I want
to just kinda wrap things up with each one
of our guests just by throwing some questions out at 'em
that maybe they weren't expecting.
Who knows, maybe it'll end up being the same question every
single week, but this is episode two,
and so you didn't hear the questions last week,
so, so hey, let ask you this.
What are you most excited about in your life right now?
Most excited about, um, this journey of,
of raising these teenage daughters and watching them grow?
Watching them move into more independence, uh, watching them
mature, uh, nervous, excited,
all the things together with that.
Uh, I've got a, a wonderful partner.
My, my wonderful bride is an excellent mom,
and it's, it's great to be with her together to,
to raise this and seeing them
over the next couple years
be transitioning out of the house.
I assume hope maybe, uh, maybe, yeah, we'll see.
Uh, but this is just an exciting time
Of life. Data says that less
and less are moving out.
Yeah. We might have to move and,
and they won't have a place to come back to.
Yeah.
Okay. Last question. Uh, which by the way, I,
I can understand why you'll be excited about that.
I have, um, 15-year-old twins and a 12-year-old.
And man, it's a, it's a handful.
It's never ending, but gosh, what a joy it is.
Uh, five years from now to this day.
You mentioned in the, in the recent past, you know,
switching industries, who knows,
but you look out five years from now,
where do you see Kevin Giles?
That's a good question. Uh, I look forward
to being an empty nester with my bride, uh,
having the house to ourselves again.
Yeah, right. Uh, I very much look forward to that.
And we will be hitting that about five years from now.
Uh, very more much excited about that, excited about,
um, it's gonna be a journey.
But five years from now, I hope to have more capacity as the
girls become more and more independent and need us less
and less, there'll be less time for me to, uh,
be investing in them, less time required
for me to be spending time with them.
So that hopefully will open up a lot more time to, uh,
invest in others, to be more
and more of a mentor, to more people, to serve, others,
to lean in with more time, uh, at work.
Uh, I love my job. I love what I do. I love where I work.
I love the group that we have.
Um, look forward to continued growth there.
Um, little nervous about all the different roles
that's going to involve and as we continue to grow.
And we're 23 now.
If we have 50 employees, then, uh, yeah, it's, yeah,
a little nervous to think about
what all that will look like.
Um, but yeah, we'll be plugged in at, at our church.
We will be empty nesters, we will be same general,
uh, career path.
Uh, at least that's what I hope.
And same great haircut. Yes. It's for life.
It's a lifestyle. Alright,
Well, to our listeners, again, uh,
hope is closer when you're growing
and growth is closer when there's someone
who is investing in you in your life.
So do whatever you need to do.
Recognizing we're at a place in life, uh, no matter
where we are, where we can always grow.
And we're always a bit more closer to hope.
When we are growing. Take the steps that you need to take.
Uh, listen, if this content is valuable for you,
of course, like, and subscribe.
But on a, on a topic like this, I just want
to challenge you all as listeners.
If you know someone in your life
that could benefit from hearing this, take this
as an opportunity to share it with them
and encourage them to take in the steps
that they need to take in your life.
We will see you guys on the next episode. Yes. Thank you.
Thanks for being here, Kevin. Thank you.
Thanks for tuning into this episode
of The Hope in Real Life podcast.
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Well, hello, hope and real life family.
We want to give you an opportunity
to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas at one
of our family friendly Christmas Eve services.
Now, I know you folks are all over the country here,
but online at Get Hope tv,
we will have our Christmas Eve services at 6:00 PM
and 8:00 PM Would love to have you tune in and join.
It's a family friendly affair.
Can't wait to see you on Christmas Eve.
Having said that, if you are in
or around the triangle, we would like for you
to be our very special guest.
We have 20 services between December 21st
and December 24th, across four
or five different locations, uh, in and around the triangle.
So to find which location would best serve you, go
to get hope.net/christmas,
and that's where you get your free, they are free tickets,
but it just lets you know which service
to attend and where there's space.
Again, we'll put that in the de in the description.
Get hope.net/christmas.
We would love to see you in person at one
of our services on Christmas Eve.
Can't wait to see you. Merry Christmas.