Basic Motivations Webinar 2024

What is Basic Motivations Webinar 2024?

Every culture (family) has distinctive motivations for doing things, but they all have definite pattern and logic, they all provide order and direction within the culture (family). We need a valid cognitive styles model to help us understand the motives and actions of other people, to predict behavior, and sidestep conflict.

Connie Smith:

Alright.

Connie Smith:

So one of the one of the things that I would like to say to you all is that, basically, I feel today that I'm not teaching this just to a crowd of people, that I am I am trying to share this tool with you who are trainers. And so I may tend to try to ask enough questions to make sure that you understand the tool, and I'll give opportunities for you to ask questions and so on. I am a much better sharer than I am teacher. So just consider that, I'm going we're gonna spend this time as I share with you a tool. It is important it is important that we understand where the other person is coming from if we are trying to get across a message.

Connie Smith:

Now any of you that have been in a position of trying to talk to somebody about anything, you kinda have to know where they are and what they kinda need in order for you to adjust your presentation so that they can hear what you have to say. When we first go into any group of people or any new culture or whatever, we go in and we're supposed to learn about the people. This, by the way, was developed out of, fieldwork. It was not developed. This was developed long before PR came into being.

Connie Smith:

And so this was developed by one of other cross culture workers who belong to the same organization that, Richard just happened to stop by his classroom one time when we were back in the States. And, he liked what he heard, so he talked to doctor Mayers about it. And doctor Mears said, well, sure. Take it. Do what you want to with it.

Connie Smith:

I've taken this as far as I'm going to take it. And so whatever you do with it, consider it to be yours. So though he is mentioned here and all of that, there's a whole lot of this I'm not going to teach you perfectly able to read this for yourselves. And so, as we begin to look at cultures and look at different things, Richard began to tweak doctor Mayer's model to the point that, doctor, that Marv, one of our he was one of our colleagues, said this is now yours. Name it name it your name and so on and so forth because he had changed it somewhat.

Connie Smith:

So this is a tool. It is not a classifier. It is not a what do I say? It's not something by which we're judging people because there are no rights or wrongs in it. But just remember that anything, when it's taken to the extreme, either side of the continuum and you've all looked at enough to see that there that these are continuums, that they there are 6 of them.

Connie Smith:

There's the responding one, which is time and event. There's, the dividing up the world so that you can better understand understand it, which is dichotomy and holism. Then there's deciding, which is directive and selective. It's how how you receive how you make decisions, how you receive instructions, and how you prefer to give instructions. Then there's striving, which is your your work your work out working things out, in which you have individual effort and which you have relationships.

Connie Smith:

Then there's preparing to do a task or preparing a plan for a task or whatever. And are you careful in which you need all the details figured out so that there is no error and there is no loss? Or are do you wing it, or are you somewhere in the middle? So that's careful and casual. Then there's performing.

Connie Smith:

It's it's your your as you do your job, as your status is is given is, established, are you one who is very heavy into the importance of the expert and the degrees and the the, educational knowledge, or are you more for the guy who has worked his way up? Okay. So that's status given and status earned. So those are the continuums that we will be talking about. And today, we're going to focus on the responding.

Connie Smith:

How do we live in this world? How do we respond around us? Are we more time, or are we more event? So right at this point, I would like you to to look at at your scoring. And, Mike, you have the list of people and can see them and and all that.

Connie Smith:

If you would call out their name and what I want you everybody to do this, I want you to tell me whether you whether you scored as dichotomy no. As I'm sorry. I shouldn't have turned the page. On event, or do you tend more towards time? Alright.

Connie Smith:

You're muted, Mike.

Mike Banker:

There. How's that? Is that better?

Connie Smith:

That's much better. Alright.

Mike Banker:

So, I'll just go around the circle. So, I guess, Dawn, what was yours?

Stone:

Mine is, almost in the middle. It's actually 12. So slightly towards event.

Mike Banker:

Okay. And how about you, Carmen?

Connie Smith:

I'm 17.

Connie Smith:

Okay. So you're taking more towards time.

Mike Banker:

Okay. Time. And, Michelle?

Connie Smith:

So sorry. I didn't keep this goal with me, but I was very, very, event. Very, like, not time at all.

Mike Banker:

Okay. I

Connie Smith:

think it was like

Connie Smith:

That one, I would have something.

Stone:

That one, I

Connie Smith:

would have something.

Mike Banker:

Okay. Alright. So, Yvette. Let's see. Vivian?

Connie Smith:

Sorry. It's not on this desk. It's the other desk. I need to go grab it. Okay.

Connie Smith:

But I

Connie Smith:

think I'm more the lowest score. I think it's 11.

Stone:

More more on event. Okay. Like,

Connie Smith:

event. Hending towards end. Yeah.

Mike Banker:

Yeah. Donna?

Donna:

I am time.

Mike Banker:

Time. Okay. Yeah. And doctor Randy? I'm Tyme.

Mike Banker:

Tyme. Okay.

Connie Smith:

And let's see. Yes. Sorry. I got my paper. Yes.

Connie Smith:

The first one is 11. It's more event. Okay.

Mike Banker:

Alright. Let's see. Where am I? Sorry. Okay.

Mike Banker:

Gala?

Connie Smith:

She says she's time.

Mike Banker:

Okay.

Connie Smith:

She said yeah. She posted

Connie Smith:

Oh, okay. I see her.

Mike Banker:

I see. Okay. And Cindy?

Connie Smith:

On 13, whatever that means.

Cindy:

13. Okay.

Mike Banker:

That's Ending

Cindy:

towards time.

Mike Banker:

Right in the middle, but

Stone:

a little

Connie Smith:

Ending towards time.

Mike Banker:

Okay. Toward time. Okay. And I am I'm a 9, so that makes me, event driven. Time doesn't exist for me unless there's an event.

Connie Smith:

That makes sense.

Connie Smith:

And I disagree totally with what my score came out this time. It says that I'm a 15. Okay. K? Which means that I am definitely time.

Mike Banker:

Okay.

Connie Smith:

And, so now I have to decide why I disagree as we go through the lessons. Okay. Alright. So this gives you the kind of questions that were asked, gives you the kind of things that you would be might be looking for in the other person or the other culture. So, we have used this model in cross cultural kind of situations.

Connie Smith:

It was actually the basis. This model was the basis of the cross culture communication course that Richard designed for a, couple of, universities, 5 months, for their semester, semester abroad program that we did that Richard designed for when we did this for 6 years into North Africa. And it, helps us to begin to understand because when we when we walk into a culture, are are any of you old enough to remember the TV with the snow? It was all it was all blurry. You couldn't see it.

Connie Smith:

A lot of spots all over the place. Well, that's kinda like walking into a new culture. They say, well, you need to learn about the culture. Well, all of this stuff, all of this static is in front of you, and I do have to tell a funniest story. One of the cross cultural workers in in Morocco when we were there doing this course was very interested in in, when he saw the success that our people had in 5 months, he wanted to copy it.

Connie Smith:

But he was, he was what we will find out later is was very, careful. Very, very careful. So he wasn't going to ask what he should do. So he had a new couple from Tulsa, Oklahoma who came, and his first assignment to them was to go to the Medina, go to the marketplace, and spend I can't remember how many hours there, but a number of hours, and make a list of all the things that you find that are different. Now this is Morocco.

Connie Smith:

They're from Tulsa. Tulsa is in the middle of the US. Flatlands, Indians, Native Americans, I should say. It's a big city. Big city.

Connie Smith:

So they come back, and this was their report. I can I can just hear her even today? I was there all day, and I just loved it. But I didn't see anything different than what I had in what I saw in Tulsa. I mean, there are people with their different dress, with their different narrow little streets, their piles of of spices, etcetera, etcetera.

Connie Smith:

But she didn't see anything different than what she had there in Tulsa. All the static so you don't see much of anything. So this is a way of separating out and focus and focus on a thing when you're deliberately. For instance, one of our assignments in the group was, go and stand at a place where a lot of people pass through and check to see who wears what kind of shoes. Now you might think that's really an odd thing, but what they found was educated people who were in a profession wore one kind of shoe.

Connie Smith:

A just a casual person wore another kind of shoe, and yet another kind wore another kind of shoe. And there are some styles of shoes that women never wore. K? Now if you're going to be a teacher, you're not going to come in the dress, like, with the in the shoes as if you were a water carrier. Well, you're not gonna be accepted as a teacher if you're not gonna be 1.

Connie Smith:

And to be 1, you have to dress like 1. I remember 1 fellow who who had the correct gelava and, oh, he'd paid money for it even. Really nice gelava, but he forgot to look to see. This was not with our group, another group of expats, that we were close to. But, he wore a stocking cap and tennis shoes.

Connie Smith:

And he was this professor. He was this leader. And everybody just laughed at him. I mean, he had the wrong hat, the wrong shoes. They didn't even then notice the fact that he had on this expensive.

Connie Smith:

It's important to know little things like dress, let alone all the other things that we but you can't learn in the midst of the static. You have to pick and deliberately go out and focus. Okay. So all that this does is give you some things to focus on. This is a tool that helps you focus.

Connie Smith:

We've also used this, in family counseling or family, teaching family, interpersonal relationships. It is amazing. We just we taught this one time in the US at a church that invited us, to teach to be on their staff as 3 months as their honor honorary cross cultural workers. And so we were given the adult Sunday school class, so we taught this 13 weeks. And in that class, we had all kinds of people.

Connie Smith:

We had a couple that were on the verge of divorce. We had, another couple who couldn't stand each other. We had, a judge. We had, 2 lawyers. I mean, it was just really a mixed bag of people.

Connie Smith:

But just this course and their reporting to to us, how it helped them understand their spouse and realize that it was simply they were not sitting. They were just had needs that were a little bit different. And so one marriage, we, they reported that this actually saved their marriage. We had another couple who, in the end decided to go ahead and divorce, but the divorce was amicable. And there was no bitterness left over because they understood that we were just we were not willing to work through our differences, not because you're such a sinner against me.

Connie Smith:

Makes a difference. Makes a difference. Both the judge and the 2, lawyers said this is a great tool to try to judge potential jurors. And, I always thought that was a very interesting one. Then, there was a a family in there who had what they termed a very, very rebellious child.

Connie Smith:

And they threw up their hands. They did not know what to do with this child. Well, come to find out in take using this and observing their son, they realized that he was not rebellious. What he needed was options. So instead of telling him, go brush your teeth, he needed something like, well, would you rather brush your teeth or put on your pajamas first?

Connie Smith:

Then he could choose input. So he would come under being more selective. And once they began to see he was not rebellious, he just needed some options, then they were able to grow up this child to be okay and not fight rebelliousness, but work more on presenting things in a way he could more easily accept them. So this this is has broad range stuff about it. We've seen this work in teams and organizations.

Connie Smith:

Group profiles are very interesting. How you would approach a a holistic group might be very different than how you approach a, dichotomistic group. Very different. This is an excellent tool for working with as a safe helper. If you're dealing if you're if you're hurting 1, is someone who is, holistic, then one of the things that you're going to have to help them do when it comes to accusing is to help them pick out the pieces and let them process the pieces.

Connie Smith:

If you're dealing with someone who is a dichotomist, then you're going to have to help them see how those pieces that he has fits into into a whole. And you have to give both of them time to do the processing and not be impatient. But they both need time, but they need time for different reasons, and you have to let it happen, or they're gonna miss what it's all about. Oh, I could talk on and on about teams and organizations and stuff. Then the other, the other thing is the understanding of scripture.

Connie Smith:

When, I mean, this will come up later, but when Jesus was asked, What is a good man? Or what is mine? Who is my neighbor? That's the one he was asked. Who is my neighbor?

Connie Smith:

He did not give a list. Instead, he told a story and let the story provide the answer. And when we get there, I have a really, really good story of how that we saw that work out in in Ethiopia. Okay. I think there's enough of that, and you can read most of this.

Connie Smith:

Yeah. Well, you can read all of it by yourself. I was trying to get some illustrations as we went along. Okay. The, this, by the way, this was first put together, in in this syllabus when we were called prayer counseling.

Connie Smith:

And then we realized there's there's too much stuff that comes with the word counseling. For instance, you need a credential to be a counselor, in the states and so on and so forth. Anyway, so we came up with a new term that we're now using. We changed names probably 6 times. But, anyway, so everywhere you read prayer counseling, cross out the counseling and put prayer resolution.

Connie Smith:

And every time you and then we have a different, but the more the It's con a non Christian. Patty,

Mike Banker:

you're breaking up a bit, so we didn't catch that last minute or so.

Connie Smith:

Oh, I bet you that my mic is down here somewhere that it's rattling my papers. Right?

Mike Banker:

Didn't hear any papers.

Connie Smith:

Okay. Is that

Mike Banker:

breaking up. Yeah. Yeah.

Donna:

Is that better?

Mike Banker:

Yep. That's better.

Connie Smith:

Mhmm. Okay. So all I did was move my papers. So, anyway, I'd like to kinda just go over this page 4. The basic motivational orientations that people have play an important in their personality in their personality development.

Connie Smith:

Whenever the prayer resolution team is helping a hurting believer, then the team member members must be able to recognize personality traits and adjust their approach. Notice it did not say that the safe helper had to change their orientation. It just says they have to adjust to the other person. This is not about a matter of changing at all who you are, but it does say that you have to understand yourself enough to know what you have to adjust in order to reach somebody who's not of that same orientation. Adjusting your presentation is very different than having to change who you are.

Connie Smith:

Does that make sense?

Connie Smith:

Okay.

Connie Smith:

When the team does so, the prayer resolution atmosphere will be improved, more relaxed, and there'll be less friction between them and the hurting one. For example, if the hurting one needs very clear direction, then the team leader will need to be more direct and appear more confident in his or her leadership. I won't do a I won't get on that soapbox. Okay. This will be clear in later sections.

Connie Smith:

If the hurting one is less directive or more selective, then a forceful leader can create potential conflict or resistance. Not because the goal is rejected, but because the leadership style is rejected. It's an amazing thing. I've been at this, work now. Let's see.

Connie Smith:

40, 60, 60 some years now. I've worked in cross culture kind of things. And what I've seen is that most cross cultural workers do not leave because of the people they're trying to work with. But they leave because of conflict within their expat group. Isn't that the saddest thing you've ever heard?

Connie Smith:

Anyway, that's not a judgment. It's just an observation. God approaches people as unique individuals and then a personal way. This means that the holy spirit will work in different ways depending on people's personalities, worldview, and culture. It's not going to do very much good for god to try to speak through dreams to someone from with a Northern European cultural background.

Connie Smith:

And look at what is happening in Asia, Southeast Asia, Africa. Is god is most powerful in people's lives reaching the most unusual people with dreams. Different culture, different people groups, different ways of viewing the world. Amazing. Much of prayer resolution deals with discussion and teaching, not just prayer.

Connie Smith:

If what we say is going to communicate, then we, the prayer, resolution team, must make the accommodation to help the hurting one understand and receive our message or God's message more clearly. I have a whole section on giving hurting people just more bible verses to read, and they're reading those bible verses or memorizing those bible verses through crooked crooked eyes. And I tell you every time every time they read another passage, they're going to interpret it through those crooked eyes. So instead of just giving them more scripture, which is a wonderful thing, help them heal the crooked eyes so that they can actually gain the message God has for them out of that and seem straight and real and reality, not seen through crooked eyes. Okay.

Connie Smith:

That that's a free sermon right there. Okay. Putting ourselves in the other person's shoes, so to speak, means that we try to see life as they see it. This doesn't mean we endorse their views, but we must understand where they are coming from if we are going to help them change that view or adapt that view or whatever. Not everything has to be changed, but sometimes their viewpoint needs to be adapted a bit, tweaked.

Connie Smith:

But most the most time you will spend in prayer resolution, most time that you spend with their hurting one is going to be spent or should be spent in teaching because you do not want people to do things if they don't understand what they're doing. You want god to be able to work, so you've got to be able to communicate with them. So you have to begin to learn different styles of of presenting your teachings or in handling a discussion. Okay. So enough of that.

Connie Smith:

So as we said, the this motivation model, in talking about the responding. Here we have, the time event continuum has to do with the atmosphere and how people respond either to the time element or the situation at hand, the event that's going on as they react to life. If we have an an orientation towards time, we will be aware of time passing and feel pressure to make the proper use of that time. So we may emphasize time and efficiency. Time is a tangible item that we can weigh, lose, gain, find, waste, and waste.

Connie Smith:

At least you can do that with time in English. I don't know what your mother tongue does with it. But English is full of verbs that we can do with time. Time is a tangible item that we can weigh, lose, find, gain, and waste. Time is money.

Connie Smith:

Time is precious. American Christians have difficulty wasting time or doing nothing when praying or meditation. That's why we tend to, unfortunately, tend to take away the the former way of prayer say 7 times a day in which you stop and block out all else and relate to god. And they say, oh, no. No.

Connie Smith:

No. No. That's not preaching because you're doing it wrong. So in instead, we say, but you must keep your 15 minutes in the morning for your quiet time. Okay.

Connie Smith:

We do not understand how manana in Mexico can mean in the morning. It can mean tomorrow, and it can mean sometime in the future. The present and the future are more important than the past as reflected by today is the first day of the rest of your life. We look at the future with anticipation and cannot understand why some people fear both change and the future. Now this is talking about those who are time oriented or tend towards time.

Connie Smith:

And remember, that's an important distinction that on time is not the way. It's I tend to behave towards time. K. Many Americans feel that it's wasteful to spend money to create a crystal cathedral, which is one of the large churches, beautiful church, with a worshipful atmosphere. They would have altered the floor plan to include a movable basketball court for weekdays.

Connie Smith:

Oh, that's a very efficient use of space and time and energy, but they're missing the piece that people need in their souls to worship. Okay? So those that need the basketball kind of of church instead of trying to change this one, go find a church where you can be in worship in the basketball court. No problem. But don't count the people who best worship in a beautiful atmosphere.

Connie Smith:

Don't count them as sinners or that you're better and more spiritual than they are. But also, just to make it very clear, be able to worship god anywhere. Okay? Other cultures can spot we are Americans by the speed and purposefulness of our walk. You sit in one of these marketplaces.

Connie Smith:

And you see, this was developed basically for Americans. So those of you that already have these kind of places, then you have to get used to our side of the world, our side of things, the fast pace of the city. But, anyway, you can stand and just watch people going by no matter how they're dressed or or whatever. You can tell those that come from either Northern Europe or the States. They're the only ones that are speed walking through the marketplace.

Connie Smith:

All the locals are stopping to look at each thing. They may stop and touch. They may smell. They may choose not to have that one, then they have to oh, and then you have to talk to the person, but then that's not yeah. That's the would be the more event.

Connie Smith:

You would talk to the person and not worry about the fact that, you know, you only have 5 minutes to make it to work. But you spend your time leisurely talking to people and sorting out which of the merchandise you want to get at the market that day. And then if you're late for work, oh, well, you know, you'll get your job done. So we reveal reveal our nationality by our punctuality, and we'll get into that, and our impatience. All of these people lollygagging around, steady getting on with the job.

Connie Smith:

Now if we're event, we who have an orientation towards event are concerned with what's happening. The people involved, what's going on, and the happening is what is what is important to us. Oh, I've got so many illustrations that I have as we go through this, but this is just kind of an overview. Just engaging in a conversation captures us, and we become so engrossed we miss important appointments. And how many couples with who it's most usually, not always, not always, but well, let's put it this way.

Connie Smith:

Where one of the couple is time and the other one is event, How much frustration and impatience is held by the spouse who is time with this, in our case, with this woman who won't shut up and quit talking to people and come home or get on to the next thing. Okay. The people that we worked with at the headwaters of the Amazon, whom we've turned in here, the matzah, would have dances that went on for 3 nights days. They spent a great deal of time painting their faces each morning. A dance always had lots of music, laughter, and colors as part of the occasion.

Connie Smith:

And it was governed by the moon. It was not governed by a date. I was constantly I, Richard is writing this, I was constantly upset when I was building an airstrip in the jungle on a very tight schedule because his wife and children were sitting on the bank of a rubber hunter's place on the edge of a river somewhere out in the middle of nowhere. So I was building this airstrip in the jungle on a tight schedule with people whose language he did not yet know and who know no common language. And the Indian work crew made a game out of building the airstrip.

Connie Smith:

Someone would always be leaning on a shovel, telling a story to the others while they worked. When it ceased to be fun, they stopped working for the day and went took a bath in the in the river and went about the rest of their day. And Richard was, yeah, slightly more slightly more time. And, oh my goodness, I could almost feel it, those I don't know how many miles away, but we were sitting there. But we knew how I just knew how frustrated he was gonna be.

Connie Smith:

Oh, dear. Alright. So any questions then about the overview part?

Connie Smith:

Yes, Connie. I have a question that everybody else seems to understand except me. On the page when we filled out the, the first page of this time and event orientation, how do you know, like, you know, people automatically knew they were time or they knew they were event. I just saw my number, which was 13. So how do

Connie Smith:

you So if you look at the bottom of that, of that, what is that? Yeah. It's at at the bottom of the profile page, not the profile page, analyze your score. Oh, okay. I

Connie Smith:

know the page.

Connie Smith:

For some reason, my I had it been printed out, or I don't know.

Connie Smith:

That's a different one.

Connie Smith:

Oh, okay.

Connie Smith:

So this is one that's called analyzing your score. Oh, okay. Alright. There's a sheet there's a sheet of that. I don't know how to what what do I do to let you see the one I'm talking about?

Connie Smith:

Hit, share? No. What do I hit?

Mike Banker:

You can hit share. Well, share is for something electronic.

Connie Smith:

Okay. Well

Mike Banker:

You just have

Cindy:

to This

Connie Smith:

is what I can do. This is what I can do. This is what the page looks like.

Mike Banker:

Yeah. It says analytics for

Connie Smith:

it. Yep. Okay.

Mike Banker:

It's a separate document from questionnaire. Yes.

Connie Smith:

Alright. I just went and did the questionnaire, and then I always

Connie Smith:

Okay. But that that gives you and what it says what number were you?

Connie Smith:

13.

Connie Smith:

Okay. 13. So you're a score of 11 to 16. You're definitely time in orientation. Mhmm.

Connie Smith:

At the high end of this score, you are becoming prone to excessive time focus, And you're not at the high, but your the number is in the middle. My guess is my guess is that you are more dependent upon the situation than you are controlled by your orientation. Yes. That's it.

Connie Smith:

Okay. So I'm more controlled by the situation.

Connie Smith:

Okay. So you your your number was, you said, 15, 13?

Connie Smith:

13.

Connie Smith:

Okay. You see down here where it says a score of 11 to 16

Mike Banker:

Mhmm.

Connie Smith:

Is where your number would be. Okay. Definitely time and orientation.

Connie Smith:

Okay.

Connie Smith:

And just to remember on all of these, this is just a reaction. My guess is that you probably do tend more towards time. But you're yeah. More towards time, but not necessarily off the score on time. And remember, any extreme, and I don't care what you're talking about, any extreme usually will get you into trouble.

Connie Smith:

I won't say you enter into sin, though that's usually what ends up happening. But any extreme, you do not want to be in the far extreme of anything on a continuum because it nearly always gets you into problems. Alright. Let's

Mike Banker:

Yeah. I had a couple examples. Okay. So Denise and I are not exactly the same. Maybe some of you have noticed this.

Mike Banker:

Okay. So alright. So, like, I get up in the middle of night to go to bathroom, and, and the next morning, she says, well, what time was it? And my thought is, who cares what time it was? Why does that even matter?

Mike Banker:

But when she gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, the first thing she does is look at her watch. It's like, why? Why would you do that? So she's very, much more time oriented. Or another example of Mongolia is Ted and I were there and teaching, and we're in the middle of nowhere, 11 hours by 4 wheel drive, and we're teaching.

Mike Banker:

It's 9 AM in the 1st day, and we're supposed to start, but there's nobody there yet. Just keeps looking at his watch, walking back and forth and impatient. And I said, Ted, they don't wear watches. They're nomads. They herd sheep and and camels, and why would they wear a watch?

Mike Banker:

Time means no has no meaning to them. What they does matter, though, is whether it's light or dark.

Connie Smith:

Right.

Mike Banker:

And what really matters is what the weather's gonna be, but they don't care if it's 9 o'clock. They don't even know it's 9 o'clock. So so, eventually, everybody wanders in and we start and, but that was an example of a cultural conflict then of, you know, time, a westerner, in a non time oriented place. So yeah.

Connie Smith:

Yeah. To carry that, that that illustration, which is is just an excellent one, a bit further. When everybody's there and you start, then it may go on and on and on and on. And somebody with Ted's orientation will say, when is this thing gonna be over?

Mike Banker:

That's true too. And then we, then we discussed the lunch break. I said, okay. Let's break for lunch. We'll see you in 3 hours.

Mike Banker:

And Ted said, 3 hours? What do you mean? I said, Ted, they don't have cars. They walk from their home. They walk here, and now they have to walk home.

Mike Banker:

There's no restaurants. They walk home, and they're gonna make lunch. And then they have to take a nap because they're tired from all the walking, and then they'll walk back again. So, you know, we'll start again in 3 hours. And so, anyway, it was a good cultural experience.

Connie Smith:

Okay. So, am I still alright as for far as hearing me? I have a question. Yes. Well, actually, it's inspired by Mike.

Connie Smith:

Okay? Maybe it's not for this part, but it's a little bit general. Connie, if you feel like maybe later you'll cover it, you can keep keep my question later, which is, for example, these 6 continuums. Right? Does it, let's say, in a cultural like, Chinese culture, if we're more in the culture, is more encouraging certain way, let's say, event, not time, do you think the whole culture, the people will be more prone to one side, but still, you know, even those Chinese, but maybe with more event side, but it's like 1 to 12 ish.

Cindy:

Mhmm.

Connie Smith:

Or it's, it's like There's there's one well, basically, when you look at a culture, you're looking at what the culture tends to be. American culture tends to be time oriented. Okay? Mike has just given an illustration of an American who is definitely not heavy on the time side.

Mike Banker:

Right.

Connie Smith:

So you would still tend to look at Americans as being time. But then when you're focusing in on, so if you have an 8 o'clock meeting, you best be there about 8 o'clock. In America, no matter what anybody else feels about it, we are a culture who is time oriented. But that doesn't mean that everybody is that's on time is time oriented because now you're dealing with an individual. So we can say Americans are x, y, or z.

Connie Smith:

But when I'm talking to Mike, he's not interested in what time or date or whatever took place. He's interested in what took place.

Mike Banker:

Right. Exactly.

Connie Smith:

And he's not interested in the punchline. He wants to have the story that makes the punch line have any meaning.

Mike Banker:

Yep. That's

Connie Smith:

one of the reasons that Richard and I finally stopped editing each other's prayer letters. He would write 1 one month, and then I would write the next one. We stopped doing that. Instead, okay. You send your no.

Connie Smith:

Whoever had the time wrote the letter, and then it would be edited by the other all over the place Mhmm. When he was doing the other thing. And he would always want it short on one page.

Mike Banker:

Yes.

Connie Smith:

Well, since when would I ever get it shortened on one page? I've got something to say, and I want it to be understood. And if I'm gonna tell a fact, I and a wonderful thing that happened or a terrible thing that happened, the punch line isn't gonna do it. They need to know enough details so that they can either be rejoicing or sad with me. Mhmm.

Connie Smith:

So we quit doing it that way. 1 month, he would write his, and I wouldn't even look at it. Next month, I would write mine, and he wouldn't look at it. We got along just fine.

Connie Smith:

Actually, I have one question about the scriptures. From what I heard you, share on, people seeing visions and dreams. It's interesting to hear, your experience and your comment on, that Asian, southeastern people have visions and dreams, but usually Northern Europeans don't have. Am I understanding it right? It has to do with the culture.

Connie Smith:

You tend not to hear very many stories of god using dreams and visions in a How

Connie Smith:

do I used to think it was denominational. Oh, I know.

Connie Smith:

It is very God has no denominations. That's a people thing. That is totally a human people thing.

Connie Smith:

What about personality? Yeah. I have questions about why.

Connie Smith:

It's all personality. There are no apples. Not everybody in China is going to be whatever Chinese culturally are. Okay?

Connie Smith:

So and, does that mean the scriptures come with a cultural perspective or interpret understanding?

Connie Smith:

It's written mainly by Jews. It's written by Israelis. It's written by people from Middle Eastern culture. Like,

Connie Smith:

I quoted a scripture from Joel that says, it shall come to pass afterward that I will pour out my spirit on all flesh. Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy. Your your old man dream dreams and your young man see visions, and we have lost questions about that. So it means is asked

Connie Smith:

about that. Okay? But it has nothing to do with it being cultural or not culture. Thomas, a prophecy of God. Yes.

Connie Smith:

And I did not say that Northern Europeans never have dreams, that god never speaks to them in dreams or visions. I did not say that.

Connie Smith:

But it's cultural that they have lust.

Connie Smith:

Yes. That's all. Okay. All scripture is written to every tribe, every culture, every nation, every language.

Connie Smith:

Yeah. I have this new neighbor that they are Indians. The whole family have dreams and see visions.

Cindy:

That's okay.

Connie Smith:

No. I recall it. Yeah. They are very they're very strong Christians. Yeah.

Connie Smith:

Everything from God is from people from all cultures. But the Bible itself was written the Old Testament, most all of it was written from a a desert people who were nomads. And if you understand that, then you understand the use of the sheep and the good shepherd and all of those kind of things. Now if you're dealing with people in the jungle, you're going to have to explain what a sheep is, or you're going to have to explain what a shepherd does before they can understand that piece of scripture, but the scripture is for them.

Connie Smith:

From this conversation, I what I'm learning is is that, you know, whether a person has a dream, doesn't have a dream but my my role is to suspend my whatever to to suspend my what I consider is, you know, more shooting more more mature as a Christian or more, elevated as a Christian, whether you speak in tongues, don't speak in tongues, whether you have visions or don't have visions, that's not the point. At least I'm I'm that's what I'm hearing from this conversation is is that I need to suspend my judgment and just this is it for this person within culture, and that's neither good nor bad. They're not more spiritual or less spiritual. And I cannot I should not I have to be careful not to judge that they are less spiritual or more because I have a particular orientation or I because of my culture has deemed or for lack of better, okay, denomination if I'm Pentecostal or, you know, everybody should be speaking in tongues. I need to suspend that, and I need to just take a look at okay.

Connie Smith:

This is like what Connie said. This is scripture, and this is just what it is. It's not good, and it's not bad. It's just that's how it is. And so that's what I'm taking from this.

Connie Smith:

One of our neighbors, when we were living in southern Spain and working into North Africa, we had an English friend, who lived there on the Costa Del Sol. And one day, she was coming for dinner. So I, she wanted to well, what time do you want me? And I said, oh, well, come 6 ish. And she says, and what time do you want me?

Connie Smith:

No. I said, oh, you know, 5:30 or 6, somewhere along in there. And she says, well, what time do you want me? So I said to her, I want you at 6 o'clock. So I heard the elevator come up, so I knew she was gonna be right at the door.

Connie Smith:

So I looked through the the spy hole in the door, and I saw her standing there like this. And when the clock struck 6, she knocked on the door. What do you think she was? Time or event? I've always thought that was hilarious.

Connie Smith:

Yeah. The, tribal group we worked with, Their big thing was the moon. So a moon counted. You'd be there in a moon. We'll have a dance 2 moons from now, or we'll have a, hunting party 2 moons from now or 3 moons from now.

Connie Smith:

Years were calculated not by this is so many years past. They did have a number system. But it wasn't you know, it was 2 years ago. It was the year that such and such happened. When, so when it came came to so they didn't have days.

Connie Smith:

They didn't have years. They really didn't have names for the month. Well, they yeah. It was named by an activity. But, anyway so, like, giving medicine.

Connie Smith:

Okay. You take one of these when the moon is here the sun is here, and you take one when the sun is here, and you take the other one when the sun is here. So, what do you think they were? More time or more event? Speak, oh, toothless ones, and I will hear you.

Connie Smith:

Yes. Hi. Just the old time. The sun is their clock.

Connie Smith:

Yeah. There would be more there would be more event because they are not dividing up into such minute place of things. Alright. So then there's the purpose of an activity, deserve different amount of time. Don't you know lots of people?

Connie Smith:

Well, maybe you don't. I know a number of people who if the game starts at 4 o'clock, they're ready to go by 3:30, sitting there with everything they need, whether they're going to the event itself or whether they're watching it on TV or whatever. Man, 4 o'clock is it. Nobody better interrupt it. But maybe having coffee with somebody, you know, they get there when they can and they leave when they want.

Connie Smith:

So it might be determined a little bit about what the occasion is, like me teaching today. North Africa, people are basically event, And yet every train runs on time. But, this probably comes up later on. But we did have the occasion. We sent 2 of the participants to the bank, and, it was after class, so they were going when they had finished their their lunch break.

Connie Smith:

So they went, and there was a long line outside, and they were to open at 2 o'clock. 205, they still weren't there. 210, they still weren't open. 215, they still weren't open. 220, in comes the the, workers at the bank.

Connie Smith:

And the one one of the workers went straight to the back, climbed up on a chair to the clock, and moved the hands of the clock back up to 2. So it was they opened the doors at 2 o'clock, and no but nobody blinked an eye. Okay. But, you know, they they were never late. They were never late for the train or the plane.

Connie Smith:

On time or punctuality to what degree an event should begin and end on time, is determined by culture. The culture decides how late a person can be depending on the importance of the activity. Meeting an important person at a casual happening may give us the desire to be on time. So we have this kind of range of punctuality that, goes. In America, if you're 10 minutes late or something, it's still permissible.

Connie Smith:

But you can't go too much beyond that if the person is if it's a business kind of meeting where everybody has a set time that they've devoted to things. But a time oriented person is very concerned about starting on time and then ending on time. We had a a lady from, Netherlands with us, 1 year, and she gave this illustration that, she was going went to a church that was had an hour long service. Okay. Some for some reason, that morning, the church didn't start, so it was till 5 it was 5 minutes past the start time.

Connie Smith:

But then it didn't end until 5 minutes past the close time. So they got in their full hour. So what would they be? Time or event?

Cindy:

Time. Oh.

Connie Smith:

Time. You said you're gonna we were gonna be here an hour? Man, we're gonna be here an hour. Not an hour and 5 minutes. Not an hour and 2 minutes.

Connie Smith:

Okay? So, the purpose of an activity deserves might deserve different time. If it's something like a train, plane, you're gonna always be on time or you're gonna miss it. And I know many, many Americans who are supposed to be so time oriented who constantly miss their plane or train or appointment. Okay?

Connie Smith:

Business. But a party,

Cindy:

well, you know, you

Connie Smith:

can be an hour late for a party and then you're still if the party's going on, you're still at the party Even if you're a time person, you're not as constrained because of what's taking place. Time people tend to make plans to accomplish the most in the time period. This is why I know I'm not really a a time oriented because I wanna tell it all even if it goes over time. And I'm only constrained in this teaching because Mike is going to stop the recording, stop the session at 12:30. I could go on all night or all day as the case may be.

Connie Smith:

Alright. And time is planned and may be different as whether you have short or middle or long term goals. But these are all time oriented people who are doing these things. So we had a a colleague, an expat cross cultural worker, who was at that time working in Panama, and he came to work with a tribal group to learn and analyze their language, put it into writing, and translate it into their, translate the word into their language. But you knew from the beginning that he was not gonna make it because he divided his day up.

Connie Smith:

He divided his day up. He had his notebook, and he divided his day up into 15 minute sections segments. He had a plan for every 15 minutes of his day, and he's going to a people that don't even have a word for a minute. Okay. What kind of frustration is he going to have?

Connie Smith:

My goodness. And he didn't. They didn't last. They didn't last more than a year, which is really sad because that left those people, that people group, because he couldn't adapt. That left those people that people group without the work.

Connie Smith:

On time punctuality. Well, we went to that. Okay. Time then is can be packed so that more than one thing is accomplished at a time. I have a friend who sometimes calls just to vent, and so a 2 hour phone call is, not unusual.

Connie Smith:

But I have learned since she's not expecting any answer from me because she's already told me I've just called to vent. I put the phone up where I can still hear it, and I go about my work. I might wash the dishes. I might sweep the floor. I might I can't read a book or or do anything that way, because I'm listening to her.

Connie Smith:

And every once in a while, I will go by and say, uh-huh or a host so that she knows I'm still there. And so I can accomplish 2 things at once. I used to get so frustrated just listening and listening and listening to something that I've already heard about 15 times, but here's another occasion where she has to vent about it. And then we sum up. But when she's done with that, then we talk a little bit and give our love to one another and hang up.

Connie Smith:

Okay. That's packing time. Or when you're driving and you're, reading books by listening to to audio ones, That's kinda doing 2 things at one time, taking making use of time. Remember Richard, when he was when we were first married, he was still going to school, and he had an hour to drive. So as he drove to to to college, he'd have his coffee and his study notes, and, that's when he did his his studying as he was driving this hour to class.

Connie Smith:

Because when he came home from class, he worked full time. But, anyway, planning and packing time. That's very much a time orientation. Alright then. I'm assuming that you're looking at this in in your syllabus so that you're seeing the the cute little drawings that go with this and all of that.

Connie Smith:

Alright. Then, there is, time can be like an object. So we can say time is money. You can be ahead of time. You can be behind time.

Connie Smith:

So it's it's spatial. Time can be spatial. Great. I'm ahead of time. Oh, I'm way behind time.

Connie Smith:

I'm right on time. Time can be like a material thing. Stop wasting time. I spent the time reading. I spent the time reading.

Connie Smith:

It wasn't worth my time to go. If I had only had the time, I would have. Time hangs heavy on your hands. Time flies. Time stood still.

Connie Smith:

All of those things. Alright. Time, you can anticipate future looking, with these, this people group we worked with. They were backward looking. They they looked at the past.

Connie Smith:

They did not look at the future. They looked to the to the ancestors for their future. The future is anticipated. If the as the changes for good and so on come about. So the difference would be an anticipation of time or if you're dreading the future, we would say there's an apprehension of time.

Connie Smith:

So time has like it's emotional making. We can anticipate it or we can dread it. We can do a lot of these things. Alright. Times or periods, history, dates, and all that kind of thing are important.

Connie Smith:

The iron age, you know, that's a period of time. We can locate it. We learn what's happened in that period of time, what wasn't yet invented, what had already been invented, what was going on in this place, in that place, in another place, in this age. Or all the things that happened in 1492. In in America, that's an important date for us.

Connie Smith:

But in 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue and discovered America or the Americas. So that's that's one date that probably most schoolchildren, at least they used to learn and needed to know. Now to, yeah. Or it's very important to know that this thing happened in a particular time, a very particular time. 12 hours 34 minutes and 10 seconds.

Connie Smith:

You want that kind of precision if you're gonna send up a rocket because we have I don't know what they call the third one over, but we have had I I'm near the space launch, profit launch place here. And we have actually had a launch scrubbed at the third one over with 1 to go. Very, very, very precise time. And that's important. It's important not just to the project, but it's very important, those kind of things.

Connie Smith:

Like, Mike was telling about Denise, it's important to her to know what time she got up because then she can maybe calculate how many hours of sleep she actually got. I would do that same thing these days because if I don't go back to sleep, then I've lost those hours of sleep, and I need to regain them somehow because at at this point, you know, I'm not not been sleeping well.

Mike Banker:

And And it's it's worse than that sometimes, Connie, as I, she'll say, well, how did you sleep when I get up to go to the bathroom in the morning? I said, I don't know. I'll tell you when it's over. Yeah.

Connie Smith:

Okay. Very good. Very good. Okay. Alright.

Connie Smith:

Now let's look at the event time.

Mike Banker:

So, Connie, maybe we should take a break for a few minutes. And

Connie Smith:

Let's do. Please.

Mike Banker:

I'm back. So let's just take 5, just quick break, and, come back, and we'll start again. Okay?

Connie Smith:

Is that a time oriented question?

Connie Smith:

Yes. And it has to do with the it's very time oriented, and it's based on the the, amount of time we have for this event.

Mike Banker:

And, also, it's also based on the fact that none of us have teacher bladders. So we we all need it.

Connie Smith:

Let's take a break.

Mike Banker:

Alright. Just 5. Okay? Mhmm. Yeah.

Mike Banker:

I can as you're teaching, there's just so many thoughts about, like, don't assume they seize time the same as you do as our safe helper.

Donna:

Exactly.

Mike Banker:

And, you may need to set a reminder if I'm not I'm not very time oriented. But if they're important to them, I might have to set reminder to take it.

Stone:

Mike, I now I I know the reason sometimes you miss our appointment now. Yeah. Even though I never even though I never get angry about you on that, so it's okay.

Mike Banker:

Yeah. I, well, ours are in the I have to get out of bed is the main problem, and sometimes I forget to set my clock. So it's like, oh, okay. Oops.

Stone:

Yeah. You just wake up until you finish your sleeping.

Connie Smith:

So that's it.

Mike Banker:

Yeah. That's right. Yeah. I get it done done done done thinking. That's that's the way it works.

Stone:

Yeah. I'm slightly towards events, so I get it. Oh, I I have various high score on casual, so I think, I can be flexible or something.

Mike Banker:

But I I drive Denise crazy because, her idea of being on time is 10 minutes early.

Connie Smith:

That was Richard. Yeah.

Cindy:

I know. That's

Mike Banker:

Yeah. But then I was so delighted because Daniel's idea of being on time is 15 minutes early, so he was always pushing her. So that was so fun to watch.

Connie Smith:

Oh. I don't know if

Mike Banker:

that's my sin to think that, but it was fun.

Stone:

I would love to be there and watch that happening.

Connie Smith:

I used to tell the participants in this course, if Richard says to me here at 9, it will meet at the door at 9, be there at 10 till, then we will have no issues the rest of the day.

Mike Banker:

Oh.

Connie Smith:

No. We we did whatever testing that they were giving doing when we joined Whittles. And this was we'd already been married a couple years. Year yeah. Two and a half.

Connie Smith:

Anyway, 2 years. And we had whatever test they they personality test that they gave at that time, you know, which was 7 65 years ago. And when they called in by the counselor to have our tests read, the comment he made was, well, you 2 are so different that you should not have been married. But he said, since you've already been you already are married, I guess we'll just have to see. Oh.

Connie Smith:

So our

Mike Banker:

our, test said that, we're exact opposites. That's how they described it. Yeah. But I've changed it to say that between the 2 of us, we cover all the bases.

Connie Smith:

There they go. Well said.

Mike Banker:

But sometimes that's not easy. So anyway.

Cindy:

Would you would you say that, just like with other personality tests, these things, the results change depending of of what's happening, what's priority. Mhmm. But for what's the community we're surrounded with, isn't it?

Connie Smith:

Yes. Which is be that's because we have choice. That's because we are in control of our own behavior. Mhmm. I'll give some illustrations.

Connie Smith:

I have some more time ones here that I forgot I had. Everything changes. As we mature, whether we mature in the Lord or not is one thing. But as we mature, as we just simply get older, we become more mellow. We tend to be more accepting, or or the opposite, we get more and more and more rigid.

Cindy:

Mhmm.

Connie Smith:

And it's kind of our choice of what we do, but just just living tends to, you know, smooth off in the the edges.

Stone:

Gala Gala, before I before I became in a a safe helper, I'm quite a lot time oriented people. But after 5 years of, you know, working pretty much, like, freelancing as a individual safe helper, now I'm event oriented. So I think that the way I work over years slowly changed me.

Cindy:

Yeah. Yes.

Connie Smith:

You're still not event. What you are is you tend closer to be attending tending towards more event than you were before. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Connie Smith:

Yep.

Mike Banker:

Because she's not a as event driven as I am.

Connie Smith:

No. And, a lot of our other behavior is not, not, event driven. It's timing time driven. Nothing nothing wrong with either way. We just need to we need to understand where we are so that we can understand what we have to do to, adapt to the other person.

Mike Banker:

Yeah.

Connie Smith:

Yeah. It's not up to the other person to adapt to me. Mhmm. It's up to me to adapt to the other person.

Stone:

Mhmm. Well said. I

Mike Banker:

I think of, one session. One one guy did sessions with. From the moment he arrived till till we finished the session, he was looking at his watch every, I I don't know, every 10 minutes maybe at the most.

Connie Smith:

Yeah.

Mike Banker:

So that but then I was thinking, you know, I I really wasn't thinking of, adjusting to him. I was just being me, and that probably is pretty frustrating at times for him. So Yes. I need to probably, you know, note that he's looking at his watch and and

Connie Smith:

And so you might even ask if he had another appointment or if he was concerned about something.

Mike Banker:

I actually, I did catch on after a couple sessions and finally asked him if he, before we started, like, what time did we did he need to did he need to finish today? And so this was my so I I did eventually notice it, but I I should have paid attention a little earlier. So

Connie Smith:

Connie, I really like what you said when, you said that we I will use this tool to help us understand ourselves so that we can adapt to the other person and also to not only as a safe helper, but I really see it, like, on the field that we adapt to the culture and not expect people to, you know, oh, we come with the gospel and this is the standard and therefore, you know,

Stone:

it's like

Connie Smith:

because it's like, you know, we again, not suspending we don't suspend our judgment, and so we bring what we feel is the right way or the godly way or the and then we expect people to, you know then we judge people because

Connie Smith:

problem right there. Yeah.

Connie Smith:

The problem is then we start not only do we judge them, we start to dislike them because they're so not like us, and we feel that we have the better standard. And I think that, you know, it's so important that when we take this tool that we, understand ourselves, but we also need to really choose not judge because it really does come across that otherwise, we come across as know it all in our and our and western whatever or whatever, Chinese or Mongol, is the better way when, and maybe it is. Who who knows? But, but it doesn't translate well to the to the host country. Right.

Connie Smith:

They can feel it.

Connie Smith:

They they can feel it every time. It's just like oh, and I could I could go on and on about this one. Another soapbox. I have a lot of soapboxes in case those of you that know me well. And one of the is friendship evangelism.

Connie Smith:

What an oxymoron. How in the world can you be a friend to someone that if they, in the end, don't accept Christ, you walk away and go find a friend who will?

Mike Banker:

Friend is a friend whether they accept the gospel or not. Yeah.

Connie Smith:

And and you you can't have this attitude of my goal is to go make a friend to make him a believer. I mean, what a anyway, another another another soapbox.

Mike Banker:

So, Connie, you don't have many opinions, but we appreciate those that you do have and sharing them.

Connie Smith:

Right. I really don't have a lot of them. That was said tongue in cheek for those of you who don't understand. I have an opinion. There isn't anything I don't have an opinion about.

Mike Banker:

Wow. That's impressive.

Connie Smith:

Yeah. I'm not with further information, I might change that opinion. So I I'm not rigid in my opinion. But, yeah, basically, I'd say I have an opinion about most everything.

Mike Banker:

Yeah. So, Connie, can we take a minute, and just quickly, go around and have people just introduce themselves and then before we move on. Is it okay?

Connie Smith:

Sure.

Mike Banker:

Okay.

Mike Bqnker:

Alright. Stone, you're up in

Mike Banker:

the right corner there. So why don't you tell people who you are and where you are and what you do or how you got involved in all of this all

Cindy:

this

Mike Banker:

stuff and PR stuff.

Stone:

Mhmm. Okay. Most of the people have known me.

Connie Smith:

Oh, sorry. So just to do an administrative thing. So are we doing the time thing on this? Like, do we

Mike Banker:

I mean, you have one minute, and if you, I'll mute you in 1 minute. So

Connie Smith:

Oh, no. Oh, wow.

Stone:

I better I better run. Okay. Mhmm. Go. I I think that most of you have already know me.

Stone:

My name is Dong Li. Born in Chani born in China, Chinese, and, I've known Mike since 2018 or 90. I forgot the date. He was he was a prompt to talk to me by God, and that's how we know each other. And soon, as long as I learn about PR, I think that's the game changer of the whole people's mind and spiritual being.

Stone:

And then I jumped into PR, and I got my session done. And, one thing to another, I've been doing PR with people for 5 years, and now I'm, like, teaching and giving giving lessons on PR and just working in this working in this field, and I plan to do that for the rest of my life. Yeah. So that's me.

Mike Banker:

Great. And you did it under a minute, so I didn't have to mute you. Good job.

Connie Smith:

Yeah. I did it.

Mike Banker:

Okay. So, Carmen, go ahead.

Donna:

Well, can I just add could you spell your name? Was it Stone or Sloan?

Connie Smith:

Oh, Stone, like rock.

Donna:

Oh, okay. I Yeah. Just thinking of I'm sorry. Okay.

Connie Smith:

Yep.

Mike Banker:

Yeah, Carmen.

Connie Smith:

Carmen is my English name. And I am also Chinese national and grew up in China, but currently based in Chiang Mai, working with, same group with Cindy. And so I do member care and translation, and assist with everything else that needs translation. I started to work with Mike early 2008. But I started to work on the translation, and they really helped me from the end of 2007.

Connie Smith:

Yeah. So I I also do, PR training and session. So always ongoing training. Yeah.

Connie Smith:

Mhmm. Yeah.

Connie Smith:

I, yeah, I have opportunity to work with cross cultural peoples and, workers. Yeah. That's almost all. Yeah.

Mike Banker:

Yep. And Carmen is a very curious person. That's what I know from.

Connie Smith:

Yes. You enjoy that.

Mike Banker:

Yes. Very much. Okay. Donna, you're up.

Donna:

Okay. I was introduced to PR 20 years ago in Minnesota here, and I took a session a training from Richard and Connie. Mike was in my group, and Barb Kirk was in our group too. I remember. Anyway, so then I went through personally and did some sessions with Mike and some other people for a while.

Donna:

And then the last few years, I've been working on the PR safe helper reference handbook, which got out about a year ago or so. And now I'm gonna just be doing some other things with Connie. So that's what I'm at right now.

Mike Banker:

Yeah. Thanks, Donna.

Connie Smith:

Mhmm.

Mike Banker:

Okay. Cindy, you're up.

Connie Smith:

Okay. So my name is Cindy, and I work with Carmen. And do member care. I met, Mike because I had been praying. It's like, lord, how do we get people unstuck?

Connie Smith:

So then I met Mike because we were in the same Mike and Denise are we were in the same organization. And, and then when he explained to me PR, I go, oh, that's it. Yeah. And so I've been overtly and covertly been trying to get, PR to be, part of our organization's DNA on a certain level, and, with working with Chinese and also to working with Gala, in Mongolia. So, I've asked Gala to when we've had things to come and help translate, but also to with the covert, way of trying to get the Mongolians as well to really understand the past, to really understand the importance of being healthy, before people go out.

Connie Smith:

So that's my and then yeah.

Mike Banker:

Yeah. Excellent. So when was that? How long you've been above, Cindy?

Connie Smith:

Since the since we went to China. So that's 2,008.

Mike Banker:

2008 also. I forgot what it was. So thanks. Yeah. Alright.

Mike Banker:

So doctor Randy.

Mike Bqnker:

Hey, everyone. I, my name's Randy, and I, I I don't know. Where do I start? I'll just say that I'm I'm currently, I've been I've been a by vocational minister, and I've been overseas for, like, 25 years in Estonia, Latvia, and then China for, like, the last 10. And I'm the equipping center director, which is a a bible seminary, here in Beijing.

Mike Bqnker:

That's where how I met Stone. And I've just really enjoyed, Stone's passion for, prayer resolution. And we would, before Element Fresh filed bankruptcy, we would meet at Element Fresh and just talk. And, you know, I just she mentioned this course, like, yesterday because we were or 2 days ago, we were having a, equipping center, staff meeting, and she's like, oh, I'm taking this course. And I just really felt led of the Lord to to come.

Mike Bqnker:

And so that's why I'm here. And and so and so just to thank you to Mike and to Connie for allowing me to to tag tag along and to learn. And, I'm I'm at a different stage in my life. I'm I'm not I've been a former head of school, for international schools and international church pastor. And I think the Lord's got me doing some really different kinds of things, and I'm looking forward to the, I guess, the next chapter, in my life.

Mike Bqnker:

And so

Connie Smith:

love those extra chapters that God puts us through. I look back at my life, and I look at all the chapters. And one leads to another even though it doesn't look like it could possibly have anything to do with it. Yeah. Yeah.

Mike Banker:

Amen. Amen. Yes. Yeah. Very good.

Mike Banker:

Thank you. Thank you. So Gala.

Cindy:

Yeah. I'm sorry. Hello. My name is Gautam. My short name is Gala.

Cindy:

I'm from Mongolia, and I'm in Mongolia. I grew up in, Mongolian aviators, and then through them, I met Mike, and I attended his training in 2012. Then he, taught to Mongolia's PR material 2018. So, at the time, I was involved with the translation of the material, and then, you know, God just used it, I guess, to pull me into the ministry of Helping Others. It started with just listening, to people's stories, and then I didn't know how to help them, because there were a lot of hurting people.

Cindy:

So it was a good match, to know how to help them. And, now I'm doing PR, during the training, meeting with Mongolians, but I also working for a a school, vocational school for as an, international relations person to, support myself. And then, because of that work, I I'll be going to, France, in 2 days to to do translation for electric installation, which I have no knowledge of, but, I was selected to translate for a Mongolian participant because his English is not good. So Oh. And, you know, that Like

Mike Banker:

the Olympics of BOTEC. Right?

Cindy:

Yeah. It's a like a trades Olympics. And this year, it's happening in, France Lyon of France. So, when when I, graduated my college, one thing I prayed to God was, I don't want to have boring life. So since then, he has been faithful to make my life interesting.

Cindy:

Alright. But that's me.

Mike Banker:

That's got one. So just briefly for me is, so I was an engineer by training and did that for, oh, let's see, 20 years, I guess. And then now I've been doing, I've been a missionary for 20 years. And for the last is that right? Seems right.

Mike Banker:

And for most of that time, I've been doing PR. For 12 years, I was in China, and now now we're back since 2019. But, this is what I do full time, and this is, I just wanna bring the blessing I received to bring that to others. And, yeah. So I've been ruined for life.

Mike Banker:

There's nothing else I wanna do. So right now, I'm stuck in one chapter, I guess, Connie, but I do delight in it.

Connie Smith:

Alright. It's just a couple of

Donna:

it's a different chapter.

Mike Banker:

Chapter. It's a China chapter.

Connie Smith:

It's one I approve of very highly.

Mike Banker:

So, anyway, I just, I just wanna see what would happen if a church was full of people that got rid of their list

Connie Smith:

Oh, wow.

Mike Banker:

In the past. I mean or let's say half of them did or let's say even a quarter of them did. I mean

Connie Smith:

Or just to have the program in the church.

Mike Banker:

Yes. Yeah.

Connie Smith:

Those that wanted it.

Mike Banker:

A lot of people, they don't experience the fullness that God promises, but it's because they have a list that hinders them. And if they just get rid of

Cindy:

them Absolutely.

Mike Banker:

I, anyway, that's what I do. I probably took more than a minute and but you guys can't so I'm okay.

Stone:

You can mute yourself.

Mike Banker:

Yeah. So, Connie, did you wanna, why don't you

Connie Smith:

just I just I just wanted to say in in all of this that all of all of this material like PR, all of this material has come out of experience. It's not that, Richard saw this model and said, oh, that sounds like an interesting model, and then thought up all these things and then went out to see who he could get to prove that it was good. This has grown out of an under of an basic understanding of people. And this is just we've used this with a lot of different groups as part of their cross cultural communication, course. It's been kind of a disappointment that none of them have taken and run with it and used it as a whole.

Connie Smith:

But the it has been used in one Latin mission, in in connection with the cross culture communication course that we that we ran. Their their group did take that on, and therefore, they have this model and they've that they have used. But we first went to the field in in 1964, which is before many of you were even born. And all I can say is god didn't set just a task before Richard and Connie, but he set before us one task at a time. And we have we've had, as linguists, as in the sense of of analyzing and reducing languages to writing and then teaching people to read and then translating scriptures and so on and so forth.

Connie Smith:

That was our first heart heart work that we did. And slowly, he's pulled us very much back and back and back until I'm now sitting in Barefoot Bay, Florida. And I am talking to people in many, many, many different places with the sole goal, which was the intention when god called me at 8 years old. The intention has been he left me here to tell people who have never had opportunity to hear in a way that they can understand that there is a god who loves them and wants them

Cindy:

in his

Connie Smith:

family. But because of the bad doing, people are not able to reach up to him. So he had to provide a way to break through so that he could reach down, and that was through Jesus and so on and so forth. They deserved here. I went to the field.

Connie Smith:

I went to the field because people needed to know. But in this all this work with PR, which started in 1986, we had worked with our first person and then analyzed what we did, and it grew from there. That anyway, what it all comes down to is healthy healthy churches produce healthy disciples who go out and establish healthy believers, who establish healthy churches. And you see that healthy comes in there. And this is part of the Nazarenes really think that this is the the Nazarene denomination that have, any who have experienced this, the PR part of things think this is just right on because they believe in, that we can be fully sanctified here on earth, and this is a tool for sanctification.

Connie Smith:

It is a tool to help you put on and put off those things that god tells us to do. And so our goal from the beginning has, first of all, been because we were on the field. First goal of ever of all of it was to present this to, workers to use with their new converts so that they could produce healthy disciples. So when I hear that there's a group of sender outers of cross cultural workers that they want to send out healthy ones. It just really touches my heart.

Connie Smith:

That's all I could say.

Mike Banker:

Yeah. Thank you, Kathy, for sharing that.

Connie Smith:

Someday someday, we're going to rejoice because some church is actually going to incorporate this and become a healthy church. Mhmm. I know it. What it's been. Soon be, what, 40 years since God began to work on prayer resolution with us?

Connie Smith:

Alright. Anyway alright. So let's get back to, I still have some more things to share on time, and these are all I'll put try to get through them quickly, because our time is running out. Look at that. Okay.

Connie Smith:

Alright. Here's another illustration of, of time versus event. And Papua New Guinea, in talking to people who were were working there, it comes out that Americans want to spend the money and buy new when when something is wrong, say, with a vehicle or with with a piece of equipment. They want to spend the money and buy, more, buy new just to save time. Let's put jerry rigging this thing together, and let's buy the new, and then we can have more time to do what we came for.

Connie Smith:

But the Australians and there's conflict here among the workers, some are who American and some are who are Australian. Australians want to continue to fix up even if it's a constant drain on time because time is less valuable than money spent. No. That's not what I'm trying to say. Time time is more important.

Connie Smith:

Anyway, they wanna fix it up even if it takes a long time rather than spend the money to fix it or to buy the new. So with those 2, they value that yes. Thank you, Carmen. They value money more than time. Okay.

Connie Smith:

Oh, I have to tell you this one about, but our experience with one of our experiences with manana. Long story, so I won't do all of that, but we had gone down to Mexico with our 2 and a half month old baby, and we were going to jungle camp. Well, we got there early, so we were asked to go family sit or a family in the tribe, while the mother took the the 2 daughters into the big city, for their tonsils out, I think, if I remember right. Anyway, it was some medical procedure. So we went.

Connie Smith:

There are 2 weeks. A lot of things happened in that, so I won't tell the story. But as we were coming back, we were on the train, and, you know, this was all of many years ago. So on that, we were going back from the travel area that we'd been flown out of and down to where there was a train to Bogota no. To, Mexico City.

Connie Smith:

So this train had been belching smoke and soot, and so we were we were black. We pulled into this town, and for whatever reason, that was the end of the line. So we had to find a place to stay and catch the train or a bus or something the next day. And we were trying to get back in time to start our orientation orientation for. So time was of an essence here.

Connie Smith:

So, anyway, the man came and got our luggage, and, he he put it in the the baggage place because it would be open manana, and we could pick it up then and get on the bus. K. Another long story of what transpired that evening and all of that, but we knew, you know, this was a case of scrubbing up the clothes we had on and hanging them to dry so we put them on in the morning still wet, but, you know, we had all that soot on us and so all of that. So now we get to the the station, and it wasn't, the baggage thing was not open. Well, when would it open?

Connie Smith:

Oh, A little later. So finally, our time ran out to catch our bus, and it was our last chance to get to Mexico City untied. So we ended up, leaving a guy with with money to catch the bus and get home again and to get the tickets to get our luggage out of baggage. When it did open, whatever manana that was, and the name of the hotel we were in in, or the lodging they had in Mexico City. And everybody said, oh, you'll never see your stuff again.

Connie Smith:

Well, you know, of course, he delivered it right to the door, but it was, like, 2 days later. So doesn't always mean in the morning. Okay. So, important meetings are what their who considers what culture considers that meeting important. Some meetings are important, and they have a very strict line time.

Connie Smith:

Business meetings has a very narrow, time, before you're late, and a social meeting is very open. Okay? And that's probably true in most any culture. But some cultures, it's more important. For instance, what we found in discussing this with, Saudis is that if you're 5 minutes early for this meeting, you're treated as a servant.

Connie Smith:

Americans, would be that they would want any everybody to be there 5 minutes more if you could so you can start on time. K. The Saudis, say, if you're if you're 5 minutes late, the Saudis would treat you as no one, and Americans would simply offer a mumbled apology. If you're 10 minutes after the time it was to start, you would be reprimanded as a servant in the Saudi, culture, and Americans would just offer a slight apology. If you're 15 minutes late for an appointment, the Saudi would be slightly in insulted.

Connie Smith:

The American would demand a full apology. If you're half an hour late, you're just considered rude in both cultures. But after an hour, the Saudi would say, yeah. He's on time. He is same level as I am.

Connie Smith:

You're now or late, but now you're on the same level I am. The Americans would have been insulted and have left. An hour and 15 minutes, however, which equals late, and Americans would just simply say, it's unforgivable, and you've left for good, and you would not re re make a new appointment. I thought that was interesting. The people that we work with, called the call them the.

Connie Smith:

Their time was not important in their language. What was important was aspect. It was whether it was here or there or, if it was they that the speaker saw it or it was just reported to them or whether it was just heard about and it was just hearsay. They had different tenses, different aspects that would be added to their words. For instance, here or there, they had Wadhibu and Wadhibu.

Connie Smith:

Bami means, I a I saw him eat. And was that yeah. He ate. I didn't see him, but I know he ate. And just by hearsay, I assume he ate.

Connie Smith:

So, anyway, I thought that was an interesting time event kind of thing, That the time is is not important, but the the aspect is important. Alright. Here here's one where we have frustrated, frustrated expat workers. This one happens to be from a very, very, the navigators, and they they wouldn't have any objection to me saying that they are very time, dichotomy, so on list. You have a list of verses.

Connie Smith:

You learn these verses. You have a god has a plan for you. Very, very, very that side of things. Well, this was Joel, and he was working with international students. But he became so frustrated with these people because of their lack of interest when they would say they wanted to study and they set up a time to study the bible, and then they would either not show up or were late.

Connie Smith:

What do I do? Well, if he said the meeting was at 7 o'clock and they didn't show up till 7:15, he was just fit to be tied because look at all the timing we're wasted. And those international students were more than likely from cultures who said, I'm here because I so want to study God's word. And the time didn't have anything to do with it. I got here when I could.

Connie Smith:

Alright. Here's a a a couple from Ethiopia. We were invited to a wedding, and we were surprised because we were invited to a wedding. It had a a morning time to it. I think we he they told us to that the wedding will start about 9 o'clock.

Connie Smith:

Well, that should have been our first clue. Anyway, we made our way over to this wedding, and and people in the house weren't even up yet. And, so we were we were the only ones in this place. So we wondered if we were even in the right place. Okay.

Connie Smith:

So after so we were there at 9 o'clock. We were the only ones there. Later, a couple came who had driven down all the way from the from the capital, which was, you know, quite a ways away, probably 3 hours. But they were there. They came.

Connie Smith:

And 3 hours later, the service began. Now what we failed to realize is that the wedding is a 2 day affair, and it includes everybody's dressing and the henna on the hands and the oh, it includes all of this thing is all part of the wedding that you're invited to. Anyway, another time Richard was asked to speak at the church service. And, most of the people there I don't think he spoke through it. Yes.

Connie Smith:

He did. He spoke through a translator. And, the translator was gonna be. And and so Richard's the meeting was to start, say, 9 o'clock. So Richard and I are there.

Connie Smith:

9 o'clock, we're the only ones in the church. So we go back outside, and we look at people and wondering if we had the date wrong. And Otto McCollum comes strolling by about 9:30, and he's still in his pajamas. Okay? So he said, yeah.

Connie Smith:

Church will start soon. So church finally started, and they asked Richard to speak. And they gave him as much time as he wanted. That was understood. So he actually spoke for an hour and a quarter.

Connie Smith:

His sermon was an hour and a quarter long. And when he stopped, came back up, to the pulpit, and he said, what? You're finished already? In Liberia, in a teaching that, that that he did no. That that was that that wasn't Liberia.

Connie Smith:

That was that was, Mauritania. Richard was asked to speak to a mixed group and, of of expats and and nationals. And Richard had to decide which one he was going to speak to because, you know, you've got 2 different orientations here. So he decided, which I applaud him for, he chose to speak to the national. And his talk was long, but it was very on, and you'll see why it would be on because he told stories and all that later on.

Donna:

But

Connie Smith:

when he was finished, oh, the National just all ran up to him and and, oh, they thought it was wonderful. And and they really enjoyed it, and they got his the message. And as one person said, he he spoke for a well over an hour on that time too. And you're oh, it was a short but sweet message. That was the national's reply.

Connie Smith:

There's just several of these missed things. Okay. One time, he was asked to go to Liberia to be the middleman between a church in the States and a, church in Liberia. And, well, yeah, at this point, just stick to the one story. They, of course, lost his luggage.

Connie Smith:

So he was, he still have had him been at a meeting with with this this this group of expats and and nationals again, at 10:30. But they'd lost his luggage, and so somebody was taking so he was gone to the airport to get his luggage at 10:30. So he we got back about 2:30, and that meeting had still not begun. Now they didn't stop not start the meeting because he wasn't there. It's just they had not started the meeting yet.

Connie Smith:

They were all busy catching up. But some sadder ones in Bogota when he was, our group buyer for a year while I was sick and pregnant with Eric. He was invited for coffee, but he declined because he just didn't have the time. He was too busy, and he was never ever invited again. Isn't that sad that his orientation got in the way of establishing a relationship?

Connie Smith:

It, one of the things that we really learned, and if there's anybody from Korea, you'll understand this one, that if you're going to teach Koreans, then you better be on time. You better be ready, prepared, confident, and you better make the time avail valuable because they are off the chart on that end of of time and event. They are very, very time, which is why they can also spend all night in prayer. But if you're going to be taught, then they want their person prepared. Know what he's talking about.

Connie Smith:

And, of course, they wanted an outline form and and a cheat sheet to take home. Anyway, very delightful. Alright. So let's look now where the emphasis that we're going to be talking about is event. And I'm gonna have to hurry because our time is rushing by.

Connie Smith:

People who are concerned with events are concerned with the who and the what and the how something happens. Background, not the clock, is in focus. This includes the lights, the colors, the movements, and touching and sharing with others. Now you could have read all that, but it needs to be said that event people are touched at their heart, not by what you tell them, but by what they feel. And if they feel it, they will receive it.

Connie Smith:

So if you're going to teach them, you're going to have to be loose. You're going to have to make it enjoyable. You're going to have to tell stories and so on and so forth. Can you imagine then the struggle that's going to be by for an event person trying to work with Koreans? Nobody's gonna end up happy.

Connie Smith:

So event doesn't set time limits. Ethiopia meetings, as you can see, always, nearly always, begin late. Now it wasn't just church meetings. They always, begin late and went long into the night. Oh, I've had many a meal at a a meeting at midnight, 1 o'clock.

Connie Smith:

Usually ended with a meal for togetherness because they're also closely relationship. But every time that he that Richard spoke or taught or shared, they always thought it was too short. They liked my stories because, they liked me to talk because I always told stories, told all the details, got the feeling of the vibe. They're very an event person is very much into spontaneous happenings. They can just bring together a group of people at the spur of the moment, and, there's no rigid, schedules to and we'll just see what happens here.

Connie Smith:

Time escapes them when handling a problem or with, or with or that they're with someone. Time is not a master. What's happening, the focus of the moment is what the focus is. So it's the present that is in focus. You're on your way we we saw this so many times in so many cultures that, what am I trying to say, that you're on you're on your way to or somebody's on their way.

Connie Smith:

This this was on your way to somewhere and you have to stop and greet everybody you know. And it's not we did a test one time in Morocco. I sent we sent them out to to find a sharp way, the equivalent of high, to say in Moroccan Arabic. And they interviewed, I don't know how many people and how many students and, all of that. And they all came back with the same results was that there is no shortcut for greeting a person other than talking about family.

Connie Smith:

You cannot just meet the person and say hi and continue on your journey. It's just not done. We don't even have a word for doing that. Atmosphere is very important. In America, we don't have this kind of thing, but in Costa Rica, buses have flowers, even poor houses.

Connie Smith:

This was true in Mexico too. Even very poor shacks had flowers around their house, even out in the desert. And in Ethiopia, oh, trying to get money like a collection at church. I mean, you're you're lucky if you get 5ยข. It's just not a cultural thing.

Connie Smith:

But, boy, if we have an, a a raffle Okay. So I've we've we've seen this. Okay. We need to raise money for, well, we need to raise money for an a new window because the window's broken. Nobody nobody nobody is going to put money in the pot for that.

Connie Smith:

So instead, you have a raffle. And you say, yes. I will give this pen to the raffle. Who'll give me a dollar for this pen? Who'll give me $5 for this pen?

Connie Smith:

And they raise their money. Oh, I have a pig at home. I will give my my pig. Who can be legitimate for my pig? And that's how they raise their money.

Connie Smith:

Well, you get really, really, really upset if you pass the basket, the offering plate, and there's nothing nothing in it. But if you need the money, you just have a raffle. And it all happens right there in the church. And they know those. I we've heard it.

Connie Smith:

It was so funny. It's one we were involved in. And the guys I can't remember what he was offering, but it was something. And everybody said, no. You don't even have one of those.

Connie Smith:

You can't offer that. You know, they know they know their people. But, anyway, it was all of fun. It was an atmosphere kind of thing. I found this in the difference between the Spanish in Mexico no.

Connie Smith:

In in Costa Rica versus Colombia. If I were to go into a store in Colombia, at least in Bogota, and I wanted a pure green piece of cloth, I wanted to make a dress out of just plain old green cloth. So I would have asked for a verde puro, a pure green. But in Costa Rica, I would have asked for and with all these same expressions, I would ask for a a happy green. A The atmosphere of things are important.

Connie Smith:

Let's see. The present is more important than the past. It was explained to us in in Morocco, which the the man speaking would have been speaking for the whole of the Middle East. And that is the person you are with has prior or has priority over the person you have the appointment with. The person you're with has priority over the person that you have the appointment with.

Connie Smith:

So if you get way late on your way to the appointment, you're probably gonna be late for your appointment because the person you're talking to is the most important one at that point. I'm not gonna get through all this, so I will just sum it up a bit. You can, read in your text the rest of it. I will also I have 4 minutes left to give you an assignment. But, basically, contrasted, time is a slave to time, Event, time escapes them.

Connie Smith:

Efficiencies, task, experience, atmosphere. Worthwhile and rational. Worthwhile, enjoyable. Meaningful, touches my emotions. Concern is to plan what is to be accomplished, and the concern in the event is to be intuitive with what is happening.

Connie Smith:

The schedule comes first, and the social engagement is broken. But a the event that people come first and appointments and the rules are broken. Time person is usually under a lot of tension or feels the tension when in dealing with an event person, and the event person feels total frustration in trying to work with the time person. So that kinda kinda sums it up. I have some more that we could talk about or that I have on my list as illustrations.

Connie Smith:

But, our time is up. So the assignment the assignment is this. I want you to look around or from your memory, find 3 people or, or occasions that demonstrate either time or event and be able to share with us what you based it on, what you based the judgment on. And you're free to use any helps that you have available. Is it better to be time or event?

Connie Smith:

And the answer to that one is yes, that both are okay.

Cindy:

K?

Connie Smith:

Now, no time for questions today, so write your questions down so you don't forget them. And there wasn't time because we did so many other things before we got started to do any interaction things. But it's time to close before half of you go to sleep since it's the middle of your night.

Mike Banker:

Okay. So, Connie, let me, just add a few things for

Cindy:

Okay.

Mike Banker:

Last. So please be on time so we because it is a tight schedule. The second thing is I will, put these recordings. I'll put them up. So, if you do miss part of it some night, you can, or someday, you can pick it pick up catch up with us.

Mike Banker:

Let's see. What else did I wanna tell you? Yeah. So bay the basic plan is Connie will teach, this week. She'll teach on each of these 6 continuums.

Mike Banker:

That's the first six times we meet. And then, the last four times we meet, she'll be talking more about application of these things. I think I got that right, Connie.

Connie Smith:

So And and we'll talk more about that, later on. Feel free to read anything that you have or have available or can find or can think about on time and event, but do not read ahead.

Mike Banker:

Yeah. And, but you should do is the questionnaire part for the next topic, which is Yes. What is it tomorrow?

Connie Smith:

Whole dichotomy of holism.

Mike Banker:

Yeah. Dichotomy of holism. So do that do that questionnaire and score yourself. And so each day, we'll do that the next continuum. So be sure to do that section of the questionnaire if you haven't already.

Connie Smith:

And at the beginning of each day then, we will take care of the homework that we had the night before.

Mike Banker:

Yes. Uh-huh. Okay.

Connie Smith:

So just know I love you guys, and I appreciate you guys, and just keep praying for me. I've not taught this before. I've always been Richard's helper as he taught it. And

Connie Smith:

Already learned tons from from this set. Actually, when I when I go to, I already wanna teach this, like, as soon as I get off the plane. But, like, I already already have plans to I hope they can get I can get this grouped together because this time issue has actually caused friction, misunderstanding, broken relationships

Connie Smith:

Oh, absolutely.

Connie Smith:

Because of okay. Because of a this, this insistence that time is more valuable than event. And so

Connie Smith:

And this is why whole organizations who demand, you know, you report every week how much time you have spent with, and what the re how much result did you get from the time?

Connie Smith:

Yeah.

Connie Smith:

How much time did you spend with this number of people, and what was the result?

Connie Smith:

Yeah. But I really like what you said, though, which I'm gonna quote so I don't get in trouble. I'm gonna say, well, my teacher said Yeah.

Connie Smith:

Think about it, Davis.

Connie Smith:

My teacher said not me. My teacher said that we need to adapt to the culture that we are reaching. They do not need to adapt to us. So I am gonna end it with that because I mean, at the end of the teaching. It's like and the beginning of the teaching because you gotta hear it several times.

Connie Smith:

Because I really I do see it as a problem that I mean, I can tell you right now without naming names, an instance where this really messed up a relationship, and I'm still trying to fix that. Well, no. Not me. I'm Lord to fix that.

Connie Smith:

Yeah.

Connie Smith:

I'm the Lord to fix

Connie Smith:

that relationship.

Connie Smith:

So because of a of a you know? Again, insistence on time over event.