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Live Lead Last is a weekly podcast hosted by leadership coach, nonprofit director, and entrepreneur James Duvall. Designed for growth-minded leaders, this show helps you live by design, lead with purpose, and leave a legacy that lasts.
Through honest conversations, practical tools, and real-life stories, James equips leaders to develop strong roots, sustainable influence, and lasting impact — both personally and professionally. Whether you're leading a team, a business, a ministry, or a family, this podcast will help you become the kind of leader others want to follow.
James: [00:00:00] Here's something critical I've learned and what so many leaders fail to realize. Everyone is watching based on how you show up, your presence, your posture, your patterns. They're forming impressions about you as a leader. Not just when you're in the spotlight, not just when it's your turn to speak, but in the quiet everyday moments, the hallway conversations, the tension filled meetings, the way you handle pressure when no one's clapping for you and whether you know it or not, you're always showing up as a leader.
Welcome to the Live Lead last podcast. I'm your host, James Deval, and I wanna thank you for taking the time to join in today. This show is about helping leaders like you live with integrity, lead with intention, Leave [00:01:00] a legacy that actually matters. Now I wanna invite you to check out a free resource that I've created called The Five Day Leadership Reset.
These are five powerful tools that will not only affect your leadership, but that you can also use to invest in the people you lead. You can start the Five Day Leadership Reset by going to lively last.com/reset.
Today we're digging into something that is incredibly important to pay attention to how you show up as a leader, even when no one's asking you to, because whether you're stepping into a high stakes meeting or just going through the motions on a Monday morning, your presence is teaching people how you lead, here's the reality. And here's the reality. There's probably a lot of conversations being had about how you behave when you think no one's watching. See, you're always teaching your team and your organization something about you as a leader.
The question is. What are you teaching them? One of the most powerful leadership truths I've come across is it's our [00:02:00] tendencies, not our intentions that shape our leadership. See, we all have certain patterns we fall back on. They show up when pressure hits, when you're tired, when the stakes are high, these are your leadership tendencies and they're incredibly revealing.
Maybe you're a driver, someone who pushes hard towards results, but often forgets the emotional wake you leave behind. Or maybe you're the peacekeeper, the one who avoids conflict to keep harmony, even if it costs clarity. Some of us are rescuers. We step in to solve problems for others, but end up creating dependency.
These patterns aren't accidental, they're actually ingrained. And when you're unaware of them, they become your default. But make no mistake. You are showing up as something, the question is whether it's intentional or just instinctive.
One of the strangest things about leadership is that the higher you rise, the fewer people there are that are invested in your growth. When you're early in your career, [00:03:00] everyone's got advice, you've got mentors, coaches, feedback loops.
But as your title gets longer and your influence gets wider, the feedback pipeline gets quieter. People just assume you figured it out. And if you're not careful, you'll start assuming that too. See, this was me. I went through a season in my career where several people on my team, people I really respected, went to the organization's HR department to raise concerns about my leadership.
The way they describe me was horrifying, dominant, heavy handed, critical, distant when that feedback reached me, I was floored. I generally thought I was doing okay. I had advanced in leadership roles. I had more responsibility, I assumed that meant I was leading well, but I learned the hard way. People don't follow your intentions. They respond to your presence. See, the way I was showing up emotionally, relationally, energetically, it shaped how [00:04:00] others experienced my leadership. Leadership isn't just about results.
It's actually about relational impact. when you stop developing, you don't just risk stagnation, you actually risk doing harm. That's why the best leaders I know never stop learning. They hire coaches, they create feedback loops.
They invite challenge, not because they're behind, but because they understand the cost of staying the same. So I wanna zoom in on a framework that has shaped how I lead myself. If you've been around, you've probably heard me talk about it before, it's called know yourself to lead yourself, and here's the flow. We all have tendencies that create patterns of action, that have consequences and create reality. See, every leader has tendencies, internal responses, often unconscious that drive how you show up, especially under pressure. Those tendencies form patterns.
Those patterns lead to actions. [00:05:00] Actions create consequences, and over time those consequences become your leadership reality. And here's the punchline. You may not be aware of the pattern, but you are absolutely responsible for the reality it creates. Let me say that again. You may not be aware of your tendencies or the patterns that you're creating, but you're absolutely responsible for the reality that is being created by your behavior. Let me give you a few examples of how this works. you may have the tendency to take control when things feel uncertain. This is often driven by an internal belief that sounds like if I don't stay in control, things will fall apart.
So what's the trigger? It might be a meeting that drifts off track, or when someone misses a detail. The pattern then is you step in hard, the action you interrupt, override take over, and then the consequence is people disengage If this creates a reality where your team stops bringing their best [00:06:00] ideas because they feel like they don't matter anyways.
Maybe your tendency is opposite of that. You avoid tension to protect the relationship. So the internal belief for you is maybe something like, if I confront this, I'll damage trust. It's better just to let it slide. So some of the triggers might be someone underperforms or crosses a line, but the conversation feels uncomfortable.
The pattern is you delay, you don't take action. You say nothing. The consequence is then misalignment grows, and the reality is your team sees you as unclear and maybe even unwilling to lead. Let me give you one more.
Maybe you have a tendency of needing to prove your value through performance. The internal belief may be something like, I'm only valuable if I'm impressive, or I can't afford to look weak. The trigger. Maybe it's a high stakes meeting or you receive critical feedback, the pattern is you want to polish things, you wanna make 'em look good. So the action is you stay [00:07:00] guarded and the consequence is you look competent but distant. The reality for your team is, they respect your skills, but maybe they question your authenticity
these are all different tendencies, different triggers, but the same truth. Unexamined tendencies lead to unintended realities. And you don't name what's driving you, you'll keep leading on autopilot. Accidental instead of intentional.
So if this is so important, why don't more leaders do the work to address their tendencies? Well, let me name five excuses I see all the time because the reality is I believe some of them myself. One excuse is I've already earned my seat at the table.
You've got the role, the respect, the results. You assume that means that you're leading well, but influence is not the same as impact. Another excuse could be, I don't have the time. But the truth is you can't afford not to make the time because you're already paying for development one way or another.
You either pay [00:08:00] intentionally through reflection and growth, or reactively through this function and broken trust. A third excuse might be, I already know this stuff, but here's the truth. Information doesn't equal transformation. You don't grow because you read it or experienced it.
You grow because you practiced it under pressure. How about this one? I don't want to face what I find. You know, sometimes we avoid growth, not because we're lazy, but because we're afraid to look in the mirror, afraid of seeing the wake we've created.
But if you don't face it, you're gonna repeat it. In the last excuse, why a leader might not deal with their tendencies is because, well, no one's investing in you anymore. Right? This one hits leaders at the top. When you're early, again, people pour into you, but as you rise, feedback dries up.
People stop telling you the truth, and slowly you lose those mirrors of what it's like to be on the other side of you, but here's your [00:09:00] reality. No one's coming. To save your leadership, you have to own it. You have to create the feedback loops.
You have to build the system around your growth. Elite leaders don't wait for investment. They actually pursue it. So let's land this here. You are always showing up as a leader. The only question is whether you're doing it by default or by design and the people around you, they're not experiencing your intentions.
They're experiencing your presence today. We name patterns that shape us, the excuses that hold us back, and the truth that ownership is the only way forward. So here's the challenge for you this week. I want you to choose one of these reflection questions and set with it first, what tendency shows up in your leadership, especially under pressure two.
What reality is that tendency creating for the people around you? Three. What excuse have you used to avoid the hard [00:10:00] work to change? Or four? What's one decision that you can make this week to grow intentionally, not reactively. And if you're feeling bold, ask someone close to you. Hey, what's it like to be on the other side of me?
No defense, no explanation. Just listen. My wife likes to say, don't, Jade, don't justify. Argue, defend, or explain. Just listen. Because leadership isn't about perfection. It's about presence, it's about ownership, and it's about choosing to show up in ways worth following, even when no one's asking.
And especially then. thanks for joining me today on the Lively last podcast If this episode sparks something in you, share it with someone who's leading alongside you or maybe someone who's leading you. If you're ready to take a next step in your own leadership journey, I love to talk. I set aside time each week for conversations with leaders like you who wanna [00:11:00] grow with intention and build a legacy that lasts.
You can schedule a call with me directly@liveleadlast.com. I love to hear your story, learn about your leadership challenges, and see how I can help you move forward
and if we're not connected on Instagram or LinkedIn, I love to invite you to connect with me at the James Deval, and as always, keep living with integrity, leading with intention, and building a legacy that lasts.