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Rebbe Nachman didn’t come to make us “more religious.” He came to make us more real.
Rav Shlomo Katz opens the “treasure chest” of Rebbe Nachman’s Torah — teachings that heal the inner storm, settle the mind (yishuv hadaas), and draw down peace and truth into our homes, our relationships, and our own hearts.
Good morning everyone. Thank you for coming. The month of Nissan is sponsored anonymously in honor of all the open miracles we're seeing daily by the Silver family, in memory of באסי פיגא בת ישראל; by the Kram and Miller families, לעילוי נשמת רייזל בת ר' דב, ר' יצחק אריה בן נחום, ר' עזריאל בן ר' יוסף צבי, and מחה בת אפרים זלמן and Rachel. And the week is sponsored by Paul and Devorah Grosse.
So we have something very special to learn today that I'm very very excited about. This is out of a sefer that's called Eshpoch Lefanav Sichi. It's written by ר' אברהם יצחק כרמל, זכר צדיק קדוש לברכה. He was a Breslover mashpia who tragically passed away at the age of 57 just a few years ago.
He just he just passed away a few years ago. And he was a brilliant a brilliant rav, a brilliant mashpia, and also an incredible ba'al tefillah. He was the leader for many years of the of davening, being chazan for Shacharis in Uman on Rosh Hashanah. And they say about him when he got to the words ותמלוך עלינו כי מחכים אנחנו לך Shacharis Rosh Hashanah, he like stopped for a few minutes, couldn't even get through the words, just crying, balling.
Rosh Hashanah is all about Hamlachas HaMelech, crowning the king. So he got to those words and he mamash he couldn't stop and he couldn't continue. And tragically, mamash tragically he passed away at a young age of 57. He was from Bnei Brak.
He his father was a nitzel shoah, I believe. And his grandfather from his mother's side was the famous ר' לוי יצחק בנדר, the mashpia, the famous Breslover leader that we've spoken about many many times. So he has a whole gorgeous sefer on hisbodedus. This whole sefer is is just wonderful.
It's so recommended to anyone that is attempting to master the art of being committed to doing hisbodedus. And there's a piece in here that I wanted to learn with you as the pieces that we're trying to learn on these Thursday mornings from Rebbe Nachman are all guiding us towards finding the place of shalvas hanefesh, of menuchas hanefesh, of tranquility in the heart, which may seem absolutely impossible. In this case, we were just talking about that. Not just and you know what, not just these days, like tachlis, like let's say five years ago if you were sitting here, right? Or ten years ago if you were sitting here.
We'd all also probably be like "oh, in this crazy world that we're living in". You'd probably say those words, in this crazy world. When has it not been a crazy world? Yeah, there's an extra emphasis of crazy since COVID and the war kamuvan, but any I think Olam Hazeh falls into the category of this meshugene velt, right? So you didn't, what was the name of this rav?
ר' אברהם יצחק כרמל.
ר' אברהם יצחק כרמל.
What's the name of the sefer? Eshpoch Lefanav Sichi. Highly recommended. Highly but this is a gorgeous sefer. I can't get enough of it.
I think that every single time I've sat with someone over the last two years, maybe three years, and we're discussing any topic in the world. People don't come to talk to me when when things are good, not necessarily, it's usually no one calls can I can I come meet because I really want to tell you something. Yesterday actually yesterday, one thing, yeah beautiful. A new sefer's going to be coming out so someone wanted to show me it and that was actually a nice chiddush.
But generally speaking, it's not that. So I've been just catching myself and saying like what are you basically telling people? Bitachon, emuna gedola, and hisbodedus has been has come up every single time that I'm privileged to to hear someone, have them share their heart and daven to Hashem to give them some kind of a chizuk pill. But it's always it always boils down to are you talking to Hashem every day in your own words, in every in every type of issue, every issue. And I see more and more people are petrified from hisbodedus for some reason.
I don't I don't understand exactly why, but they're petrified from it. They have a natural hisnagdus, a natural opposition to it. And even if they do it once and it doesn't go the way that they thought it would be, it's like "eh, it's not for me". So I want to counter that by saying that one of the things that brings the most yishuv hadas, not that it solves your problems.
And I think people if someone's going into it because they want their problems solved, they're missing the point. But if someone goes into it understanding this is my place to get composure, to get alignment, to have a healthier way of dealing with whatever Hashem has put on my plate, then there's no greater producer of tranquility, of serenity, and definitely of calmness than finding a zone, finding a rhythm for hisbodedus, with hisbodedus. I have this yetzer to do a whole year just on hisbodedus, just this sefer. I don't think that's a yetzer.
Huh? I think that's a great idea. I said yetzer. Did I say wrong? No. No, a yetzer, it's a yetzer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I said, I don't know, everything's documented today, we can check back. A cheishek. No, that's a good idea, an inyan is a good idea. Yeah, I don't know how many of you would stay after like three shiurim, but this is a world that, as you know, Rebbe Nachman said had he known this when he was younger, the power and the secret of hisbodedus to get close to Hashem, then he wouldn't have done all those other things that he partook in like the fasting and other afflictions that he took upon himself.
But even with, okay, so the Rebbe said do hisbodedus, nothing greater than that, but there's still a need, a big need for like a hesber, for let me give you a little bit of a guide. This is just one, it's not even the whole chapter we're doing today, it's one shtickel that I feel that because it seems like we're literally bein ha'azakos and bein ha'sefiros also, that there's an eis ratzon. There's an eis ratzon to do this avodah right now of discovering the methodology behind perhaps one of the nekudos that Rebbe Nachman brought up when he spoke about hisbodedus. In Likutey Moharan there's about four or five Torahs on it.
In Sichos Haran of course there's teachings, the Rebbe goes dives into it a bit more in a different way. Reb Nosson brings it in a very interesting way. But I want to look at one nekuda of the eitza of Rebbe Nachman regarding hisbodedus to go and find, find our path in. So everyone's in for starting with fifteen minutes a day? Yes.
Yes. Sure. Sure. 15 is a lot.
Hitnagdus! 15 is a lot. Are you kidding me? I took off 45 minutes for you, it should be an hour. Fifteen minutes a day. Put your phone on airplane mode, set a timer, fifteen minutes a day.
15, fifteen minutes a day. Yeah. So, you know, with a lawyer we'd say is can I weave it into other things and be all total 15? No. Although Reb Nosson once talked about that and he said I'm grabbing a few minutes here, I'm grabbing a few minutes there.
But that was a little bit different because people were trying to kill him and he was running away from people, so. But that's why I said that right now it seems that there's some kind of sheket medumeh, so you could have fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes. Yeah.
Well, I'm sort of thinking that it sort of seems to me that it's often more like an ongoing conversation the whole day long and to say, well, I'm sitting down and now I'm doing it, it occurs a bit more structured of discipline than what I'm used to, you know? But the connection is like it's always there. It's like a background program that is always, always running. So I wonder if that sort of chalks up to the same thing. No.
Simple answer. That's what I was going to say, yes. Again, so I really do agree with that because I feel like in different situations, like instead of, in addition, for me it works various times throughout the day as opposed to the fifteen. Again, so I totally agree feel that way that this way I know throughout my day I'm constantly connected to Hashem.
I'm not just saying okay from 9:00 to 9:15. If at 10:00 o'clock something happens and it's like Hashem I need you, like this like. Yeah, but that's not hisbodedus. That should be all day long, but that's not hisbodedus.
So then I'm not sure what hisbodedus is. Ah! Brucha habah! Brucha habah! Let's learn, yeah we'll learn. Good, perfect. The perfect segue.
לשפוך את הלב כמו לפני חבר טוב אמיתי. Ah, okay so we already get a taste of what we this is I'm telling you this Torah this is such sweet, sweet words today.
כשרבינו גילה לרבי נתן את סוד ההתבודדות אמר לו והלא טוב מאד כשמשיחין את הלב לפני השם כמו לפני חבר טוב אמיתי. So when Reb Noson received the Torah of hisbodedus that we've seen inside over the years and I'm sure we'll see it again, he kind of left some kind of like a hint at the end of what he was saying where Rebbi Nachman said, ah it's so good when you pour out your heart before Hashem like when you have that soul to soul talk with a friend, like when you pour out your heart before a friend.
That's all he said, that's what he said.
בואו בפרק זה ונראה כיצד מתפרשים הדברים. Let's try to understand what's the peshat of that statement.
כשאני בא לפני חבר טוב אינני מכין מה לדבר איך לדבר וכמה לדבר.
I'm telling you the whole shiur is over right I'm telling you everything I wanted to say is in this one line mamash. Hisbodedus is not showing up with a list of things that you accumulate and you write down I'm going to talk about this I'm going to talk about this. Why? Because when your heart starts to open you start really realizing you're standing before the master of the world, the Echad V'hayachid, the most concealed, revealed, the one, the only one, HaKadosh Baruch Hu, Hashem, Abba, Imma, and you came with a list, so what happens is is that you mamash could be totally messing yourself up with coming with a list but the heart's starting to open and therefore things are starting to flow, but in your mind it's like well I'm not going to I'm not going to get through my reshima. I'm not going to get through my list and then there's this like tension between your list and what's happening right now in your being.
So too the Rav here is saying Rav Carmel alav hashalom is saying, when I come before a good friend and I want to have I don't come with a reshima of things I want to discuss a real friend. An outside friend maybe yes. You ever had those I don't know meetings or dates or Zoom calls or phone calls where you know it's important to keep up a relationship but you really lost common ground a long time ago. So you have pointers before the conversation's like okay we could talk about this this could be interesting.
Hopefully you don't have those kind of things, but it it exists. Relationships like that exist. With a real friend, the Rav Carmel is saying I don't prepare what to speak about. I don't prepare how to talk and I also don't prepare quantity, the how thick the volume of the conversation will be.
Mah pitom.
אני גם לא מכין את רעיוני לבי מה יחשוב עלי. I'm telling you this is a this is a test of a real friend. For a real friend I don't go into the conversation thinking what are they going to think about me? Mah yomar belibo about what I'm bringing up right now?
איך אני צריך לדבר אליו? What's the right manner which you should speak to him?
או באיזה אופן אמצא חן בעיניו? Or how will I find grace in their eyes? These are not if this is part of the thoughts you have in a relationship, that's not a chaver tov amiti, that's not a real emesdik friend.
Rebbi Nachman says כמו לפני חבר טוב אמיתי, that's a diyuk you see in Breslov, it's also in Lubavitch but in Breslov because obviously the Rebbe was alive for much less amount of time than most Tzaddikim, every word was documented that we know of and every word the Rebbe said is darshened on over and over and over again. I had a meeting with someone this week, they gave a they told me that they spent three months going over one word in Torah Azamra. Why did the Rebbe choose this word and not three other options he could have said in Hebrew? It's beautiful Torah, הפוך בה והפוך בה. I love it.
So when the Rebbe says over here it's כמו חבר טוב אמיתי, that's what he's saying. You have to pour out your heart to Hashem like a true like you would with a true and real friend, chaver tov amiti, a good and real true friend. None of this stuff is part of the way that you approach the conversation with a friend.
אני בא אליו כדי לשפוך את הלב.
Just one more thing. The last thing he said או באיזה אופן אמצא חן בעיניו. Do you ever stand there when you davening and you're saying to yourself I wonder what I look like? I wonder, I wonder what I look like right now in Hashem's eyes. I wonder if he's, if it's a good impression.
I wonder if he sees the shokeling or he sees that I showed up and hopefully not. Yotzim mi'zeh legamrei. It's bichlal not the, not the thing.
אני בא אליו כדי לשפוך את הלב.
Lashevet imo biyachad.
לקיים דאגה בלב איש יסיחנה. Meaning I'm coming to Hashem to be together and to address, address the da'agot that are in my heart, the worries of my heart. Lemi mesichim? Who do you pour this out before?
לחבר טוב שיש לו לב מבין.
To a good friend that has an understanding heart.
לב שיכול להכיל בתוכו את כל הרצונות, השאיפות, הקשיים, הנפילות, הספקות וכל מה שלב רחום יכול להכיל. So beautiful. He says, I come to a friend who has, what does it mean? What's a leiv meivin? A friend that has a leiv meivin? He says, beautiful.
A leiv meivin, an understanding heart. It's a heart that can lehachil. What's lehachil? To contain within it all the ratzonot, my desires, my she'ifot, my aspirations, my hardships, my fallings, my doubts, anything that a leiv rachum can contain. That's a chaver tov amiti.
That's a chaver tov amiti.
רצוני הוא להתחבר לחבר שרוצה להקשיב לי. I want to connect to a person that actually wants to hear how I am. I'll tell you a great story.
Out of nowhere, I don't know why, on Sunday morning starting the week, you know, we start the week, we have all these she'ifot, we have all these like, ah, it's going to be this, I'm going to get this done, that done, vechulei. I thought about a friend of mine that lives in Tzfat. Just thought about him. I haven't spoken to him in a while.
We're not necessarily very close, but we feel a closeness to each other. We never lived in the same place. We met, we met a long time ago, probably close to thirty years ago. And I asked him and I was wondering will he really hear me? I just texted him.
I said, my dear brother, how are you and your family doing? And he wrote me back a whole megillah. And then a voice note megillah. And I wrote him back. I said to him, you really understood that I actually wanted to know how you're doing and not just dropping the line, you know, just to say, just to like be politically correct and like make sure people know that you're still thinking about them.
And he wrote me back such a long megillah, it was unbelievable. And then I realized this is a person that if I needed, he has a leiv rachum to hear if I was looking for a friend like that. And it started off my week in such a chazak way. Realizing that יש דברים כאלה בעולם.
יש לב רחום בעולם. There is a compassionate heart in the world that actually cares and wants to hear, you know. It was an amazing, it was an amazing experience. It's such a simple thing.
It was such a simple thing, such a simple thing, and it's a great example because when you go and talk to a friend about a problem that you have, so you are coming with a list, you're coming with a problem that you want to talk about. I think maybe one of the reasons why we have such a strong resistance to hisbodedus is because you have to do it every day in order for it to be effective. And then everything that you're trying to suppress during the day, not think about, not deal with, you're sitting there and then it has to come out. Right, so hevanti, two things.
One, if I go with it, with what you said, with the approach of is it, if I don't do this every day it won't be effective, zeh lo tov. Because it's not true. Meaning it's true that you should do it every day and it's true that the more that it becomes a daily practice, of course the effectiveness will be greater. But I don't get to do it every day, slichah.
I shouldn't say that. I don't do it every day. I could get to do it every day if I really, really, really was holding. But when I do, so that's aleph.
Like don't let that inyan of if I have to be fully in this, committed, and I'm doing this every single day because if not, אני לא אתחיל אפילו. I won't start. But beis is you may, when you come to a friend, you may have an idea of what you want to talk about, something, right? But it's not really the reshimah, it's more ah, that's what we're talking about. Like just like, and then when the ah starts, then the ah gets longer and other things come in.
I've had sessions where I was certain that... I must cover ground in this topic, and if not I won't be able to breathe anymore. I need it. And I remember when you have these kind of moments, you remember physically, you remember geographically, you remember exactly where you were.
And when I started with first saying ah and thank you for something, Hashem took the wheel, not me, and it was a completely different hisbodedus, and I felt so much more elated and thankful that I didn't go in with my own rosh. But what's the point of what I'm saying is that the space of realizing that you're in front of the compassionate heart of hearts of all hearts, the Lev Elyon, the Ribbono Shel Olam, it may end up being different than you planned and that's fine. Just like with a good friend. It may not end up being what you thought it would be.
It may not be the conversation may not be what you thought it would be, and this gives your neshama shalvat hanefesh. You really get this, it's hard to describe, it's just like we're all speaking theoretically here, this is only if you dig deep and test the waters you understand a little bit of what I'm talking about, what he's saying here. Okay, let's continue inside.
רצוני להתחבר לחבר שרוצה להקשיב לי רק למעני הוא יושב וכולו איתי בחד קטירא ללא מחיצות או שמירה על מרחק בכדי להבדיל בין מעלתו אלי.
With the good friend, it's not a power struggle, it's not anything other than being together at that moment. So he says like this in the bottom הרי לא אוכל בשום אופן לשפוך את כל הלב בפני מי שאין לו זמן או פנאי בשבילי. Imagine someone says, you come to a friend and you're mamash I need you so badly, he's okay amazing, listen I have 12 minutes, so let's get to it. Ze lo yeilech.
Ze lo yeilech. So you're sitting in hisbodedus and you're okay I only have 15 minutes and Hashem is saying you said that, not me. Who said five, who said ten before? Someone said five or no, yesterday mamash someone came and I said okay the deal is, maskana is you 15 minutes a day. You have to talk to Hashem about all this.
He said five, I said ten, he said five, I said ten, or never come back to this office again, ten. So I can't pour out my heart and soul before someone that doesn't have time for me. So in my mind I may get lachutz and be okay but my 15 minutes are almost up. Nothing will happen if you press snooze on the alarm that you set for 15 minutes from now.
Hashem is saying this is you set the, I didn't, you could be here for, there are stories, forget about, forget about the Alter, forget about some kind we were saying on Shabbos you can get depressed sometimes learning about inspiring stories of previous generations of tzaddikim because you can come to the conclusion of איפה הם ואיפה אני. We're so different, right? Nissim Black told me that at a certain point, probably in the beginning of his journey into Yiddishkeit, that he would go out to the fields in our time and he would do hisbodedus for like three, four hours. Three, four hours. It's in, we could if we wanted.
You think you'd have nothing to say? That's something that people have a fear of, a big fear of, like nigmru li hamilim at a certain point the words I won't have any anything, you see the heart, when you're speaking diburei lev there's no, it's infinite, there's no gvul to what could be what could be expressed, what could be spoken about when it's the heart. Davening is kind of finite words-wise. I finish Shacharis, I finish Mincha, even let's say Musaf Yom Kippur, the longest davening of the year, it has a gvul, but eshpoch lefanav sichi has no gvul. So you hear about how could a person talk about for three, four hours? You'll see, you'll see what this magic, this holy, holy ptichat hashearim, opening of gates that happens to a person when they're committed to this, wild things.
And then there'll be days that nothing will come out. But you know what? It's like coming to a friend and saying I'm so happy you're here for me today, today just not coming out, let me tell you why. But you can only do that in the presence of a person or an entity that you feel has the time for me. Which a real friend does, and the Ribono Shel Olam has all the time in the world for you.
Next page.
לא אגלה את כל מצפוני לבי למי שאיני יודע מה יעשה כשישמע את כל תעלומות לבי. I won't reveal the deepest mysteries of my hearts to someone who I don't know what they'll do when they'll hear the mysteries of my heart.
ובודאי שלא אספר את נגעי לבבי לאדם שאני מתבייש ממנו וחושש ממנו.
And of course, I won't let someone know the deepest, darkest places in me if it's a person that I'm embarrassed of or I have a chashash, I have a suspicion that they'll change their minds about me.
כי אם ידע איך אני באמת נראה ירחק אותי וירחק ממני. Because if only they knew what I really looked like, they will, they will distance themselves from me without even thinking about it. Yes.
That's what happens to me in hisbodedus a lot. Yeah. Like Hashem must be fed up with me by now. You know, you know the old joke about the prison and they have numbers for the jokes and everybody just tells a joke by the number and not the whole joke.
So I'm ready to number what I need, one, whatever, because Hashem's bored with me and he's sick and tired of me, I'm barking up the wrong tree. But this is what happens. And I'm like, oh, forget it. Because you think that Hashem is sick of hearing you because you're a broken record.
Right. Sick of it. Yeah. Well it's clear you're sick, it's you, you're sick of hearing yourself.
But you could talk to Hashem but you just have a great hisbodedus session prepared for you. Talk about how you're sick of hearing that. Yeah. This is what happens, you see.
This is what happens with hisbodedus. This is the whole deal. But that's exactly what you should be speaking about.
לפני אדם חשוב ומכובד אינני יכול לספר את כל הפרטים הקטנים מפני שזה לא מכבודו להקדיש ולייחד זמן לקטנות.
This is a very big yesod in Reb Noson. He's saying before a very dignified person, I can't tell them all the minor details because it's not kavodik to talk about such katnus before such a dignified person. And many people feel like that about Hashem. And nothing could be further from the truth.
Reb Noson writes it's Torah in Parshas Vayishlach I think when when Yaakov Avinu is dealing with the pachim ktanim that he goes back to get the small jugs that he left. So Reb Noson has a long Torah there about how Yaakov Avinu understood that the more that I realize Hashem is king and the more that I bring his consciousness into every single small detail, the more I make the king even bigger and more relevant. But some people look at Hashem like a human king, but it's true that with a human king, like imagine you finally had half hour with, who's the most stupid question but no, but whatever I'll ask it, who's the most royal person image that comes to mind today? Kate Middleton? Yeah. Okay.
Okay. Princess. Who's the most royal Jewish image that, although they say she has a right, I don't know, I'm just thinking about Rebbes right now, you know. Rebbetzin Yimima.
Okay, great. So let's say like this, someone said we scored a 45-minute meeting with Rebbetzin Yimima, right? So what would you not talk about with her? Work? Arnona like, you know. Yeah. Details.
Backaches, I don't know, keep them why? Because you have 45 minutes with with Rebbetzin Yimima. You want to use it for things. By the Ribono Shel Olam it doesn't work like that. It's not like that.
Where the Ribono Shel Olam, the stories Breslovers that would talk do hisbodedus for a long time like, you know, my right leg, Ribono Shel Olam. My right leg has been giving me so much pain and it starts to give me bad thoughts about who I am and then starts I start wondering why did you create me like this and all these bilbulim and it comes from like a pain that I feel in my leg. Stam devarim ka'elu, right? By Hashem it's exactly the opposite. Chaver Amiti - like he says here חבר אמיתי הוא מי שכולל את כל הנעל, a real friend.
You could tell them about your back, about your knees, about your arnona, about anything.
התבודדות כשבאים לשבת נוכח פני השם, when you're coming to sit in the presence of Hashem, באים לשפוך את כל הלב, you come to pour out all your heart.
כי השם יתברך מצפה ומייחל לרגע הזה שאנו נשב לפניו, He, Hashem, longs for the moments that we allow ourselves to be in front of him the way that he's describing right now. He longs for it ומכנה אותנו ילד שעשועים.
הבן יקיר לי אפרים אם ילד שעשועים. What's yeled sha'ashuim?
כמו שכתוב במדרש כבן שתים שלש ויש אומרים כבן דלד והא. Four and five. Hashem wants that two year old, that three year old, that four year old, that five year old to be sitting before him and say aya ko'ev li.
This is what Hashem longs to hear. But in our minds we're like Hashem is always saying grow up. Grow up. It's not time for katnus anymore.
And in hisbodedus you realize the Eibishter is chalashen to hear the anti-grow up. Yeah. Or this feeling of be thankful. Sorry? The feeling of be thankful.
Like you have so much in your life why are you always complaining? Yeah. So also people say like yeah, stop complaining be thankful for what you have. Did anyone become thankful when someone told them be thankful for what you have? But when you tell yourself that when you're talking ah, bidiyuk. Beseder.
But so that means that the true like the true transformation into becoming a person of gratitude generally can't won't come from listening to a shmooze from someone that you don't really feel close to about the inyan of hakaras hatov or toda. But then if you listen to if you listen from someone who you feel they're like a chaver tov and you feel like in their presence you would be able to go that far with them and then they talk about the inyan of toda it may go there and in hisbodedus for sure. Yeah. It's - it seems I don't know how to describe it, that like you're allowing yourself to be vulnerable.
Ve'od ech. Ve'od ech. A hundred percent. The warped version of Yiddishkeit is when there's no room for that because grow up, be a mensch, go and you know, be grateful.
Nachon. So it's utmost vulnerability.
ילד כבן שתים שלש בקושי יכול לדבר כראוי.
כבן דלד והא מדבר כמו תינוק קטן.
A two year old, three year old can barely speak. Four and five they're learning you know they're basically beginning to speak.
ילד שעשועים אינו חושב מה לדבר איך לדבר וכמה לדבר, just like we said in the beginning.
אין לו שום הלך מחשבה או דאגה מה יחשבו עלי.
A three year old when they're talking is not cheshboning out how do I sound? How do I sound? Do I sound mechubad or not?
מה יחשבו עלי איך אמצא חן בעיני אנשים. That's not what the three year old is going through.
בהתבודדות השם יתברך אבינו אב הרחמן מאזין ומקשיב כאב המקשיב לבנו. That's that's the setting.
The setting of hisbodedus is ideally in its in its core that you're speaking to Hashem not like a three year old in terms of like that your speech suddenly becomes like a three year old but in terms of the thought process of a three year old. The filtering system that the three year old doesn't have should be what happens in hisbodedus. If you stop for a second to think am I sounding earnest enough? Am I sounding frum enough? Or am I sounding holy enough? You've completely removed yourself from the session and what's happening there is nothing to do with what Rebbe Nachman spoke about. Vulnerability.
To the core. To the core.
והוא יתברך יודע הכל. Ribbono Shel Olam knows everything.
ואין אנו מחדשים בדבורנו מאומה. Now here's the chop. What's the difference between this and a chaver tov amiti that's human? A human chaver tov amiti, what I share with them may be total chiddushim for them. So the parallel, it's limited, right? A chaver tov amiti, I said I really, really would love to speak with you.
So you can mechadesh for them information that they may not know. But a real chaver tov amiti, they know you, and they know more or less what you're feeling. But to share what you're feeling in their presence is just the most mechayesdik feeling that you could have. So on that level it's the same like with the Ribbono Shel Olam.
Do you think you're going to come to the Ribbono Shel Olam and tell Him something He doesn't know? It's like a parent. Like a parent when they have a child and they know the child's going through something, and then when it comes from the child and the child says it, the parent feels like finally, like finally you were able to say it and then you work on it or whatever it is, but it comes from them. Beautiful. Yeah, yeah.
So the distinction I'm seeing now is that a chaver tov or a chaver amiti, there's a back and forth with a chaver. Like you're telling them something, they're giving you support or answers. And although yes, Hashem gives you answers, it's not... Right.
But if we're real with that, then we realize that most of the time the greatest support the friend gives us has nothing to do with the eitzah they give back because they realize and we know I don't really need you to tell me anything. Because if I needed to know what to do, I'd go to a professional in the dealing that I'm dealing with. The point of that being together with the friend is the being in the presence, feeling heard in the presence. Yeah, nachon.
Support by just feeling heard. And that is also another thing that people come up with a lot in terms of what prevents them from jumping into hisbodedus is because, well, I'm not going to hear anything back. But so I'll remind you of for me, this is just my, I'm not saying this is true, but my strongest words that I ever took from Rabbi Nachman's words about hisbodedus are two words, and I've said this a few times, like when I don't have it in front of me but you see in the Likutei Moharan when he speaks about how holy and essential hisbodedus is, so he says, yefaresh sichaso. Now that means on the pshat that you'll speak, yefaresh sichaso.
But I've always felt that it means that hisbodedus is an opportunity to get a peirush to your own sichah to the chatterbox that's happening mimmeila all day long. Zot omeret, hisbodedus I come out really understanding myself. And there's no greater shalvas hanefesh than giving my sichah a peirush, that I actually have a peirush for my sichah that's going on inside. There's nothing greater than that in the world.
It's the most wondrous gift Hashem could ever give me. Because the chatterbox is always going on all day long. I don't know anyone that's not like that. The chatterbox is happening.
I guess mamas with little kids probably a little bit less because they're busy, so busy all the time, so there's a little bit less time for the chatterbox to be as active as people that have less hands-on involvement all day long with something. But Rebbe Nachman says when you sit there yefaresh sichaso, those words to me, they jumped out at me a few years ago and I feel like it's a very strong inyan. So maybe also with the real friend, when I feel safety and I'm not cheshboning out what are they thinking of me, how long should I talk for, what should I talk for, but it's a pashut zrimah, maybe in their presence also I can get some kind of a peirush to my sichah. Could be.
But what could happen in the presence of nochach pnei Hashem, the potency of the clarity of the sichah, the peirush of it is ein sof. It's mamash endless. In fact, one of the things you get most is clarity. That that quality of clarity you have in hisbodedus, you feel more clear of yourself and what you should do to get these divine whispers.
You have clarity as to like why do you want what you want? Why do you want what you want? And then sometimes what could happen is that you realize I actually don't want that, but that clarity can only So there's no chiddush to Hashem, but there's such a chiddush to us. There's the greatest chiddushim about life come through hisbodedus. And it's not about what you learned in a book; it's what you discovered in your heart.
הוא יתברך יודע הכל אין אנו מחדשים בדיבורנו מאומה.
We're not bringing any chiddushim here.
אנו רק באים אליו בכדי לרצות ולפייס בכדי שנדע ונרגיש שאנו תלויים אך ורק בו יתברך. So there is a little bit- this end here is interesting because he says over here hisbodedus has some kind of a trick, some kind of a matara purpose. It's to create codependency.
It is. It is essentially to create- there is a trick here. What do we want with Torah u'mitzvos? What does any rav or any mechanech want? That you feel in order for you to be a good person and a good Jew, that you feel you have to be involved in Torah u'mitzvos because otherwise it just won't work, right? So in this hisbodedus, that really is, it stands there in the back of- okay, the point of all this is for you to realize that this is your chamtzan, this is your oxygen, that you really can't function without it. And without it- not without hisbodedus, but without HaKadosh Baruch Hu.
And the way that I realize that I can't function without You is when I feel that closeness and everything that he spoke about over here. So Shira, 15 minutes? No, if I don't commit to every single day, I'm in. 15- what do they say in sobriety? Do you know? Just for today. Kulan- we're all addicts for to something.
Who- yeah? I could go around the room, but can we- honestly, there are certain shiurim that you could learn and come to shiur and get really inspired and have a nice vort for the Shabbos table. But then I feel with Rebbe Nachman, unless this is something that's implemented, אנחנו עובדים עבודה זרה בטהרה. I'm just quoting Rabbi Yitzchak Breiter what we learned a months ago, right?
אנחנו עובדים עבודה זרה בטהרה. So the 15- you'll see- by the way, the 15 is not my chiddush either, it's Rav Arush looked at this dor and I think about 20 years ago he was the one that said, you know this dor you got to- if you start with an hour no one- if you say you got to start doing an hour, no one will do it.
Not this dor. So 15 minutes, yeah. Is there room for hisbodedus to be done in writing or it has to be speech? Speech. Out loud? Loud enough that you could hear yourself.
Oh. Yeah. Why you asking that? I have a much easier time staying focused when I'm writing because I'm doing something versus talking I get distracted or I'll see something in my house or it's harder for me to stick with it for that block of time. That's great, but that's an amazing- you see what's so crazy is that that's an amazing chomer for your hisbodedus.
You see how it works? It's exactly- this is exactly probably what you'll be speaking about for the beginning- beginning of your hour. I don't know how long- the beginning of the 15 initial minutes, the initial 15 minutes. Yeah. I'm just thinking, you know, if my hisbodedus is like I'm unburdening my heart about how I don't have enough time to do the things I want and there's something a bit paradoxical, you know, about carving out this 15 minutes when I don't feel like I have 15 minutes and I'm not getting to X, Y, Z.
What if I- you know what, I've never done this before, but I'm going to- I'm actually going to guarantee something right now. Okay? I've never done this before. I guarantee you that if you carve out 15 minutes to talk to Hashem. Because when we say we don't have time, it's not...
we don't have time for a lot of things that we don't even need to do. There are so many things we don't even need to do. Just in our mind we think we have to do them. Or the concept of time becomes less threatening through hitbodedut.
Then you're doing it outdoors versus indoors? The Rebbe said that it should be, absolutely be, ke'esev hasadeh. The Rebbe said it should be in the fields, it should be by every... lots of Torah on this... by blades of grass.
And women outside in the fields alone? Even a woman? So, good shaila. In Breslov they do speak about the concept of did the Rebbe say that women should do hitbodedut bechlal? Not about outside or inside. They asked this. They asked this.
So there's a lot of different shittas in Breslov, like in a lot of places. Some of them... whatever. It's not fair.
Some say one thing. I was learning... I was learning a Breslover sefer where there's a sicha where the Rebbe says that the women also have to become Chasidim. So they were trying to understand what that meant.
So years later the question was... someone heard that there are women that are learning Likutey Moharan somewhere. And so the Breslover mashpia of the place went nuts and said, "You think that's what the Rebbe meant? Chas veshalom!" He wanted them to stop the shiur immediately. Again, this is different worlds, different circles, right? We don't...
But so in Breslov you do have like there's so many different zramim. This is our own zerem, you know? There's so many different flows. But a woman should be tzniua, like a man should be tzniua. But the way a man is tzniua, way women is tzniua is obviously a shtikel different.
Today in our... today in the... I guess the... where we live, if a woman would go into the field alone at night, you'd call security.
Meaning you have to be smart about these things. But you also don't have to go to... you can go to a garden. It doesn't have to...
And by the way, that's another thing people say, "I don't have a field nearby me." Then close... you know there are people here that have hitbodedut rooms. But just close... it's just easier to feel the shichrur, the flow when you're out in nature.
And we have some nature around us so we could do it. But it shouldn't be another thing that's just, "Well I don't have it, therefore I can't do it." Ze me'od chashuv. It's more the time? Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, we'll stop, we'll stop... what's that? Is the grass okay? Lama lo? Lama lo? Yasher koach everyone. Have a beautiful day.